rottingcorpsekissingbooth

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

the other night i was in sleep paralysis and couldn't move at all, i was face down, and i was vomiting this thick pink liquid down the side of my bed, i could feel myself convulsing but it ended up not being real.

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

yoko ono instructions that i've been fucking with

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

i started HRT two weeks ago, estradiol once a day and spiro twice. honestly it feels like im going crazy, my dyphoria has fucking skyrocketed, i hate all of my clothes, they all feel wrong. my body has been growing in strong and i feel so fucking defeated about it, especially my beard shadow, its like a big ugly scar, grey death maiming me, forever marred by my regrettable physiology or whatever.

i dont know what i want to be anymore, i know i want to have a feminine body, i know that being on hormones is the right thing for me, but i am still really scared. all of my friends have been incredibly supportive and caring and helpful, yet this feeling like somehow everything is doomed and will never work stays with me, and i convince myself i am forever this fucked up soul in a mismatched body, no-clipping into walls and floors like a broken buggy avatar for my consciousness.

i know things will get better, they always do, even when its hard to believe it for yourself, but its been really emotionally tumultuous and i am tormented and overwhelmed at this true inflection point of becoming who i want to be, i guess.

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

suny purchase feb 16 2025

where the FUCK are my hormones

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

three dimensional love letter - feb 2025

[rottingcorpsekissingbooth]

rest ur hands between my shoulder blades and slowly pull me apart 💖💖💖