rouxlala77 - Tumblr blog

[rouxlala77]

at Duxbury, Massachusetts https://www.instagram.com/p/CkO0B6dObmuSvez8LLP-VclhhAKdX1n1fd3VEo0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[rouxlala77]

October 10th https://www.instagram.com/p/CkNVV_zu4bvHsv4yGNJXUpgUzmdq6u5Xg-8_iM0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[rouxlala77]

The Golden hour (at Mount Watatic) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkNUKXWuBglpmHVSaDQ2CnSYcuimbwlIOaVdUo0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[rouxlala77]

[rouxlala77]

I wrote this poem in a creative writing class at BHCC, circa 2002. I later created this tiny book for a design course. It really did hurt when I made it. And don't get me started on the eye strain and the grip tape that can rub you the wrong way. The poem itself is a bit painful to read. It's dedicated to a teenager named, Tomorrow, who was murdered in Portland, OR in the late 90s. She was only 15 years old, when a serial killer who was going after prostitutes, got a hold of her and killed her in the rose gardens. She was was a sweet girl and we lived on the streets together. I let her sleep in my car some nights. She told me she wanted to be like me. While that certainly stroked my ego, I thought it was a ridiculous notion. I was a 20 year old old addict living out of my car. I wasn't turning tricks like she was. Maybe she felt ashamed. I certainly did not, nor do I, think less of her for her choices. She was in pain like the rest of us who found ourselves on the streets of Portland. I was worried that she would OD, however. She frequently took too much at once, and one night she ran past me with vacant eyes, speaking in gibberish. It wasn't long after that night that she was the 3rd victim of the serial killer. We did get to hang out together once before she was murdered. I liked to work on my car back then. I also had a passion for photography. Tomorrow and her boyfriend had left their stuff in the back of my car and so came by my "house". She took my camera and snapped a photo of me working under the hood of my car. There wasn't any pressing issues with it, so we had an impromptu photoshoot. I had taken a shot of a cool looking doorway and asked Tomorrow if she would lean in the doorway for the next photo. By the time I had gotten the photos developed, Tomorrow had been robbed of all her tomorrows. It was heartbreaking and she did not deserve it. No one does for just being a prostitute. The only person she ever hurt was herself. And I know she was wanting a better life for herself. Almost every one of us on the streets talked about it. It took me another year before I made the decision to move to Boston (and then another couple months to get on the plane).

The photos of our last day together came back in the opposite order they were taken in. There she was smiling faintly in the doorway in one shot, and then she was just gone. The picture of the empty doorway seem to echo the silence of an equally empty space she had left behind inside of me. .

[rouxlala77]

[rouxlala77]

It's a rock doves world (at Central Park, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUzDRd2gIQ91dH196QZQXOISY07CRLPSLcsfzk0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rouxlala77]

Crab prank gone horribly wrong. (at Chapin Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRCtT61MfU1m_Rm2FDt-dz_gO419SyYGCtHm6s0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rouxlala77]

In homage to the 17 year locust, 2021

"The cicadas played wildly as if they too wanted to conquer fear and anxiety with Madness and abandon."

~ Quote from The Witcher Saga book 3

[rouxlala77]

at Cambridge, Massachusetts https://www.instagram.com/p/CQFFOOssuIf8mSxcbC_IjW7rvSefp4t_SQ1u-o0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rouxlala77]

It's been awhile. I'm finally having fun again, in short bursts, between isolation. Felt like my old self. The fun old self. Learned how to tie ties 17 different ways. Can be sexy! I forgot how much I used to enjoy being in front of a camera. I haven't enjoyed being in front of people for awhile now, never mind a lens. Wanting to create feels great. Following through feels even better.

[rouxlala77]

Found some beauty amid all the shoveling. https://www.instagram.com/p/CJEx4zTMT6einzoTcdokJ1V-HFDjV_lBRGx7aI0/?igshid=1mq29qpgdq2lg

[rouxlala77]

Happy fall day. Biden won. Phew! (at Cambridge, Massachusetts) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHTTQs8AXqDlnYIWqDlIDLqbuSpuTptSyx3w8U0/?igshid=h3ki2vuwxnnv

[rouxlala77]

After the storm... (at Plum Cove Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0CbkqUF0xYco2SCaKOm47-DTQBhxRj6CacdM40/?igshid=1ir0zpyly84v1

[rouxlala77]

Secret hiding spaces (at Bethlehem, New Hampshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzg1YyXleHYb1ERth0sWiVf3Y8ZU5VW7WJ4jVA0/?igshid=1rcjijv8nb2dg

[rouxlala77]

Haven't celebrated nature in a while... (at Bethlehem, New Hampshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzePYGkl1k6_KBhMFhOcpdBoVRzCt0Mc1njNgk0/?igshid=5samx0mtp1si

[rouxlala77]