Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
twitter saw it first please god bring my family back 🙏🙏
696 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have been watching seven kids all day long and need to project the trauma of parenting somewhere, so... Batfam quotes :D
—
Bruce, half awake in a sitting room: Please, stop.
Jason, trying to suffocate Tim with a pillow: GIVE ME THE REMOTE!
Tim: *Muffled swears*
Damian, helping Jason: WE WANT TO WATCH MEAN GIRLS!
Cass, tackling Jason from behind: OFF OUR BROTHER!
Dick: Guys please, the doctor said we had to keep Tim's blood pressure down!
Duke: Man, we need to keep all our blood pressure down, he ain't special.
Bruce: Please, don't kill your brother.
Stephanie: Guys, he stopped fighting.
Dick: OH MY GODS YOU KILLED TIM!?
Damian: Oh no.
Cass, kneeing Jason in the stomach and grinning as he falls to the ground:
Duke: Nah, I think he just passed out.
Bruce: If any of you are dead I'm going to enter a depressive episode that will result in one of you becoming Batman by the end of it.
Dick: OH MY GOD TIM COME BACK TO LIFE I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!
Damian: DRAKE!?
Cass: I will find a Lazarus pit.
Jason: Nah, I'll just call Talia.
Duke: Y'all, he's breathin', I think he just fell asleep.
Stephanie, checking his pulse:
Stephanie: Yeah, he did. Classic Tim.
Bruce, under his breath: Thank god, I like that one.
—
Tim: Bruce, I have to tell you something.
Bruce: Yes, Tim?
Tim: . . . I'm bi.
Bruce: . . . Didn't you already come out to me?
Tim: Wait, what!? No!
Bruce: . . . No, no you did, you were... The ginger. The ginger one with arrows.
Tim: That was Dick, B.
Bruce: No, Dick wasn't a ginger, Jason was before the hair dye—
Tim: Different timeline, also that was Dick and Roy!
Bruce: Didn't Jason date Roy?
Tim: Bruce. Jason dated Roy, Dick dated Roy, they both dated Roy
Bruce: Oh, oh! Yes, of course... Wait, no, Dick was with the alien.
Tim: Kori and Dick broke up, Bruce.
Bruce: No, he was with the— the kryptonian.
Tim: Bruce, that's you.
Bruce: No, no, Connor.
Tim: Nobody in this family has ever dated Kon, and he's my friend!
Bruce:
Bruce: You aren't dating Connor? Oh, yes, you are with... Stephanie.
Tim: She and I broke up, she's with Cass now, I'm dating Bernard!
Bruce: The... Speedster?
Tim: Oh my god, Bruce, this isn't complicated... Bart is the speedster, Bernard is a human, regular human, not a vigilante or anything, and he's my old high school friend. We are dating now.
Bruce: Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry, I haven't updated the chart since Jason...
Tim: You had a chart to keep track of your kids dating history? When you had two kids!?
Bruce: Dick was complicated, and Jason dated a girl named Rena.
Tim: Again, different timeline, Bruce, they got back together in this one though (because op said so.)
Bruce:
Bruce: What?
Tim: Rena and Jason are dating but Jason also occasionally dates Roy at the same time, Dick is gonna get back together with Kori eventually, we're just waiting for the writers to get their sh&# together, I'm with Bernard, Stephanie and Cass are dating, this isn't a complicated thing, at all.
Bruce:
Bruce: I need to update my charts.
—
TV show host: So, can you introduce your kids for us?
Bruce:
Bruce: Yes, uh, of course.
Bruce, pointing to Dick: My eldest, Richard Grayson.
Bruce, pointing to Tim: My second, Jason— wait, no, he's dead. That one died.
Tim: Please never mistake me for Jason again, I just had several flashbacks.
Bruce: Yes, sorry, no, this is my third son, Tim.
Bruce, pointing to Cass: My daughter, Cassandra, she likes art—
Cass: No, ballet.
Bruce: What? No, Tim likes ballet.
Tim: I hate being the middle child so much.
Damian: Technically Cain is the middle.
Cass: No, Tim likes skateboards and dungeons and dragons.
Bruce: Okay, haha, sorry. So, uh, my youngest...
Damian:
Bruce: That I...
Damian:
Bruce: Adopted..?
Damian: WHAT!?
Bruce: Wait, no, Jason was Talia's, so—
Damian: HE WAS FOUND NEAR A DUMPSTER!
Bruce: Oh, then Tim—
Tim: SERIOUSLY!?
Dick: Bruce this is actually concerning.
Bruce: One of you I made! Cass!?
Cass, visibly concerned: Really?
Bruce: Okay, so, uh...
TV host: Should... Do you need a moment?
Bruce: No, no, I have five children— wait, no, six. Wait, did I adopt Duke?
Dick: No, he lives with his Mom again, she got better, but you didn't even adopt me so why's it matter?
Bruce:
Bruce: I FORGOT TO ADOPT YOU!?
Dick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FORGOT!?
Tim: I hate this family...
Cass, patting his back:
Damian: At least he remembered your names!
Jason, laughing from his apartment:
—
Tim and Cass sitting at the bat computer:
Bruce, walking over to press a kiss to Cass' hair:
Tim: ???
Bruce, walking over to Cass, patting her shoulder: Good work, son. Get to bed soon.
Cass: . . ?
Bruce, walking away:
Tim: Did he..?
Cass: Again. Yes.
—
Bruce, to Alfred: Alfred, please, I need help with Christmas again.
Alfred: Master Bruce, you have itemized lists of each villain, you can recall them all and memorize all their weaknesses and lives. You cannot do the same for your own children?
Bruce: Please, Alfred, don't make me feel bad. One of them asked for an explosive and I don't know which!?
Alfred: That could very well be several of them...
—
Bruce, walking into the kitchen where all the kids are sitting: Alright, come on Tim, time for patrol.
Tim: Why aren't you going with Robin?
Bruce: You are Robin?
Damian: Father, I am Robin.
Bruce: Why'd I do that?
Damian: What do you mean WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
Dick: I did that, actually.
Bruce: Why? What did Tim do?
Damian: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?
Bruce: Nothing, nothing, I just... Tim was Robin, last I checked.
Jason: Bruce, what's the order of your Robin's?
Bruce:
Bruce: It... Okay, Dick,
Dick: Yes..?
Bruce: Then... Stephanie.
Jason: Wow.
Bruce: What!? She died! Two of you died and came back!
Damian: I also died.
Bruce: What? No, you came after Stephanie.
Damian: Yes.
Bruce: Alright, so, Dick, Stephanie—
Jason: REALLY!? I did not die in your arms for this. I wish I died in someone's else's arms. F-#% you.
Bruce: No, no! I'm sorry, you're right, Dick, Jason... Then... Alright, Stephanie and Damian came somewhere, obviously, but Tim is my Robin now! Right?!
Tim: Bruce, Alfred and Dick gave Robin to Damian after you got lost in the time stream.
Bruce:
Bruce: Oh. Uh. Okay... Damian, time for patrol—
Damian: No, I'm going with Richard tonight. You may have DRAKE!
Bruce: No, I'm sorry, son, please.
Damian, storming out:
Bruce, chasing after him: Please, I have had so many of you! And so many hits to the head!
Tim: How come he only ever remembers Dick's stuff?
Jason: Favouritism.
Dick: I fell on his head a lot as a kid. I also used to whisper in his ear as a kid when he slept that I would be the only child he'd ever have and love, so...
Tim:
Jason: And I'm remembered as the bad kid???
—
Bruce: You're grounded.
Barbara: ??? I'm not your kid, Bruce.
Bruce: What?
Barbara: Really? No, I'm not dealing with this, get a neurologist, Bruce.
Bruce: It's not a problem!
—
Bruce, on the phone: Hey, Jay, lad! Are you coming to the gala this weekend?
Jason: ??? I'm dead.
Bruce: What?!
Jason: No! I am legally dead, Bruce!
Bruce: Oh thank god, I thought I was hallucinating again...
Jason: Huh?
Bruce: Nothing, nothing... Wait, why haven't I brought you back to legally alive?
Jason: Hell if I know.
Bruce:
Bruce: Will you come to the gala if—
Jason, hanging up:
—
Bernard:
Bruce:
Bernard:
Bruce: Stephanie, when did you become transgender???
Bernard, trying not to laugh:
Tim: This is why I didn't want you two to meet.
—
Bruce, on the phone: DUKE THOMAS WHY AREN'T YOU HOME!?
Duke: ??? I am.
Bruce: Where?! I checked the entire manor!
Duke: I don't live with you???
Bruce: Oh my god did I fire you???
Duke: What? No? I live with my Mom?
Bruce: . . . She's alive?
Duke: B, that's... All the other kids minus Cass and Damian.
Bruce: Oh...
Duke: Get help, man.
—
Tim, eating cereal at two in the morning:
Bruce, stepping inside the dark room, blinking slowly:
Bruce: Oh, Jason—
Tim: I am so done.
—
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Dick and Kory weren’t just a couple — they were narratively built for each other. Marv Wolfman and George Pérez crafted them with parallel arcs, emotionally and thematically. Dick, the disciplined human struggling with identity outside Batman’s shadow. Kory, the exiled alien princess learning humanity, freedom, love. They grew together. Their relationship was emotional, spiritual, ideological — not just romantic. They were equals who challenged and bettered each other.
And then editorial got messy.
Enter Babs, whose original purpose was not even romantic, but Batman's girl counterpart and suddenly she’s being wedged into a love triangle like it’s CW drama. Not only that, but they deaged her, rewrote her dynamic with Dick from “older mentor figure” to “quirky same-age love interest.” That’s not evolution, that’s surgery on continuity with no anesthesia.
They butchered Dick’s history with Kory just to make room for a status quo that’s more palatable to a Bat-centric branding. They erased an engagement, deep emotional growth, and cosmic-scale love just to reduce her to a “fling.” That’s not just disrespect to Starfire, that’s disrespect to decades of storytelling.
It’s no coincidence that Dick and Kory’s relationship flourished when they had autonomy outside the Bat office. The Titans gave them space to be messy, raw, radiant. And it’s telling that when creators have the chance to write them freely (like in Titans, DCeased, Injustice, Future State) they gravitate back to DickKory. Because it works.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text

I thought it’d be fun for Danny to have Starfire’s eyes instead of just his eye color changing to green.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.
-
Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*
Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again
Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*
Bruce: that’s for calling me old
Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!
Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?
Tim: you don’t wanna know
Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?
Tim, gravely: yes
Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!
Duke:
Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*
Bruce: dick did it
Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there
Cass: fuck!
Bruce: language
Steph: let my girl say fuck
Bruce: language.
TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—
Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER
Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS
Cass:
Cass: not fair >:[
In a restaurant
Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt
Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:
Barbara: dick? dick. dick!
Bruce: ill get it
Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*
Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*
Bruce:
Dick:
Barbara:
Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos
Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*
Bruce: ...?
Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*
Bruce: can i help you??
Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*
Bruce: please do that in your own room
Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*
Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there
Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*
Bruce:
Damian, also in the room:
Damian, in realization: jason got it from him
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
Nightwing: I wish I was an only child again..
Red Hood: and I wish I was dead again..
Nightwing *looks at him*
Red Hood *preparing to be scolded*
Nightwing:
Red hood:
Nightwing:
Nightwing *quietly*: damn never mind forgot I had more siblings *walks away*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: Was he- were you actually considering killing me-
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
BREAKING NEWS: EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED FATHER TRIES TO SHOW AFFECTION

Tiny Tim needs some validation and love.
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
I like to think that thanks to Jason's death, Dick's hair became straighter and let it grew bacause he couldn't care less. He was trying to be a good brother to Tim tho, and Timmy was trying to also be a good brother but you know, he was doing the best a little kid could know.
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
Jason: “I’m NOTHING like Bruce, okay? We’re not even that similar. That’s all in your head.”
Dick, perched on Jason’s couch watching him gear up, sipping a Batburger shake: “so you’re NOT about to go deal with your emotions by going out on patrol and beating people up?”
Jason: *sets down the brass knuckles he was just holding* *stares off into the distance*
Jason: “These are just…for my — look, I don’t like your fucking tone, Richard.”
30K notes
·
View notes
Text
characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that
141K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ghost Jason and Dickiebird - featuring ghost!jason vs. hallucination!jason, the power of chilidogs, and dick confronting the robins about their secret meeting.
Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 of Ghost Jason Series
10K notes
·
View notes