royalnightoutphff

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

**A/N: This chapter was a lot of fun to write! Let me know what you think :)

“Aunt Lexy, are you gonna come back?” Deacon asked her as she shoved her deodorant, laptop, and phone charger into her backpack.

“Of course, kid,” she said, turning to him and running a hand through his hair. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“When will that be?”

“In August! A few days before your birthday.”

“Will you get me a present?”

Lexy sat on her freshly made bed and patted the area beside her. “What would you like?”

“I want legos, like the ones that were on tv this morning.”

Lexy nodded even though she didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about. “For sure, kiddo. You’ll have them in August.”

Deacon hung his head. “I’m going to miss you.”

Lexy threw her arms around him. “Oh, I’ll miss you too. But it will be August really soon. And you can call me every day.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Lexy said, holding out her hand for a pinky promise. “Now, go get dressed so you can ride with me to the airport and see the big planes.”

**

Her daddy drove her to the airport. The sun was barely above the horizon and this time it just felt different. When they finally pulled up to the Nashville airport, Lexy didn’t want to get out of the car.

“Go on,” her father urged, pulling her suitcase from the back of the truck. “Tell that boyfriend of yours I said hey.”

Lexy had already cried that morning and she didn’t want to again so she simply kissed her father on the cheek and reached into the back to hug each of the kids. She made promises to Deacon about his legos and one to Liza Belle about some chocolate before holding Levi close to her. Then Lexy took a deep breath and headed towards the check-in counter.

Fourteen hours after she left the truck, Lexy had made it to London. The line for customs had taken an hour and she was sure Harry was bound to be annoyed at waiting. However, when she reached the exit, she was not greeted by Haryr, but by Mitch.

Mitch gave her tight hug before taking her backpack and both suitcases. When Lexy exited Heathrow, she was overjoyed to find that the sky was clear and blue, almost as if it was welcoming her back to the city.

“How was your flight?” Mitch asked, opening the passenger side door for her.

“Long,” she replied, buckling her seatbelt. “It was delayed for an hour and I had one of the middle seats. This kid kept kicking my seat the entire way.”

Mitch gave her an apologetic smile as he pulled the car onto the motorway. “You should tell Harry that. The boy’s probably never had a middle seat in his life.”

Lexy laughed. “Where is he anyway?” It was nearly half past five already and she knew he got off work at five. But because she was in a new country, her phone wasn’t working and she wouldn’t be able to hear from him until she saw him in person.

“He’s been held up by some sort of plans. He was in quite a mood when I left him though, so don’t worry.”

“Good,” Lexy smiled. “Where are we going then? His office?”

“I’ve been instructed to take you to Kensington.”

Lexy smiled to herself and looked out the window at the passing buildings. There were so many things she’d missed about the city; the accents, the history, the culture. She’d even missed the sound of Greg James’s voice from Radio One. She wondered what it would be like when she went back to Oxford. She wondered if she should text Michael.

Before long they pulled through the gates of the palace and Lexy felt like she was home again, even though it wasn’t really her home.

Mitch led the way to Harry’s flat and Lexy found herself gaping at the decorations on the wall and the extravagance of it all, as if she’d never seen it. It was one of those times when she realized just how lucky she was. Mitch used a key to unlock Harry’s door and then turned on the light.

Lexy was immediately struck by how little things had changed. There were still unwashed dishes in the sink, envelopes spread across the island top, and the sounds of the television playing softly in the background, as if Harry had forgotten to turn it off.

Mitch wheeled her two suitcases into the middle of the kitchen and put down the handles. “Well, I’ll let you be. I’m going to head back and see what Harry’s up to.”

“Thanks Mitch,” Lexy told him, giving him one last hug and watching as he closed the door behind him.

With nothing but her backpack, Lexy walked into the living room where the television was playing the news. She placed her hands on her hips and looked around the room, taking in the photos on the wall that were still the same ones she’d seen six months before: the one of Harry with his mother, the one of Harry and William and their father, and the one of Harry and George.

Lexy smiled and sat down on the couch, taking out her edition of Anna Karenina in Russian and desperately trying to focus on the princess. But it had been nearly twenty-four hours since she’d last slept, and no matter how excited she was to see Harry, the fact that he wasn’t there yet allowed sleep to overcome her.

** “Lexy,” someone shook her softly at first then a bit more roughly. “Lex, come on, wake up.”

Lexy figured it was Deacon and responded by rolling over.

“Lexy, come on, wake the fuck up.”

Her eyes flashed open at that and she was met with a pair of blue eyes. Her eyes ran over his face, over the beard that was just a bit longer than before, over his eyebrows that were knitted together in concern, and then finally over his teeth that began to show from her hesitation.

Lexy threw her arms around his neck and clung onto him like he was her lifeline. Harry held her even tighter in response, breathing in the scent of her hair. Harry’s suit jacket was rough on her skin but she didn’t care; all that mattered was that he was there—physically, in front of her.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t pick you up. I got held up—something’s going on with Invictus.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbled against him. “You’re here now.”

“Are you still tired?” He asked, still not letting go of her.

Lexy knew she was—the nap hadn’t been enough to quench her tiredness. But the thought of spending more time away from him made her heart ache.

“I’m not really ready to let go of you yet.”

His chest vibrated against hers and he ran his arm down her back. “That’s not quite what I meant. Let’s go to bed?”

Lexy mumbled against him in agreement that time and Harry’s chest vibrated against hers. He didn’t let go of her like he promised, gripping her waist and leading her towards his bedroom.

Then Lexy saw the object in the hallway and stopped walking. “Did you buy a piano?”

Harry shrugged. “You said you played when I visited you at Oxford once and I realized you didn’t have one at home, so I thought you might like to play.”

“You bought a piano for me?” Her brain was already calculating the amount of money that had to have cost. Thousands of dollars, easily.

“Well, no. I just had it relocated. We’ve probably got a dozen scattered around the palace.”

“Harry,” she choked out. She didn’t know why she was so emotional, why she felt like she was about to cry.

“Lexy,” he said in response. “I want you to be happy here.”

“I am,” she said. “I’m happy where ever you are.”

Harry snorted. “Here we go with the fucking rom com again. We might as well recreate Love Actually.”

Lexy cracked a smile at that and sat down on the piano bench, pulling him down beside her. She let her fingers fall to the keys as Harry’s jacket fell to the floor behind them.

“What should I play?” She asked.

“Anything but Ed Sheeran.”

Lexy laughed again and Harry grinned just to see her happy and began to play. She watched Harry as she began to play, watching as his expression changed when he realized the song.

“Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings, the world for once in perfect harmony, with all its living things.”

She knew Harry was staring at her, watching her, and she was surprised that she felt so comfortable to be singing in front of him. She’d only ever sung to the kids. Then, she was even more surprised when his voice joined hers.

“So many things to tell her but how to make her see? The truth about my past, impossible, she’d turn away from me.”

She looked at him, smiling. “He’s holding back he’s hiding, why won’t he be the king I know he is, the king I see inside?”

Their voices joined together. “Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings, the world for once in perfect harmony, with all its living things.”

Harry started to laugh, halting her playing by putting his arms around her and pulling her into him. “God, I have missed you so much. You’ve got to tell me what your fascination is with this movie, though. I can’t have this getting out to the press.”

Lexy laughed even louder and hugged him tighter. “Thanks for the piano.”

“Not at all,” he shook his head, grinning. “Thanks for coming to London.

“I can’t believe I’m here for a whole month,” she mumbled into his chest.

“Me too.” Then he put a hand under her chin and lifted her head up. Lexy smiled when their lips met, loving that his lips were still well taken care of. “I’ve been waiting two months to do that.”

Lexy simply smiled, standing up and holding her hand out, as if the house didn’t belong to Harry. Harry eyed her but nevertheless took her hand. They walked down the long hallway, arms swinging between them.

She pushed open the door to his room and turned the light on, immediately being met by an unmade bed. Lexy clucked her tongue. “Why didn’t you make your bed?”

Harry rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes. “You’re the first person who’s been in here since January. I didn’t think I needed to.”

Lexy laughed but stopped when she saw that Harry was unbuttoning his shirt. She was overcome with a feeling she’d never felt before. Harry didn’t notice, shrugging out of it and then pulling off his undershirt. She watched as he unbuckled his belt and then grabbed a pair of joggers off of the floor, walking into the adjoining bathroom without a word.

Lexy swallowed and sat down on the end of his bed, looking at herself in the mirror. She suddenly felt self-conscious in her Princeton t-shirt and jeans, her hair a mess from the plane and in absolutely no makeup. She heard the water turn on and then off again before the door opened and Harry was standing there, a toothbrush in hand.

“Oh Lex, I forgot to tell you, but I bought you a toothbrush.”

Lexy’s stomach began to feel a bit strange. It was getting so serious. “You did?”

“Yeah, I always forget toothbrushes whenever I go somewhere and I thought you would like to have one for yourself. Plus, Kate got you this cup that has an L on it.”

Lexy eyebrows furrowed as she got up to see what Harry was talking about. Sure enough, amidst all the products on the sink, was her very own cup. It was blue with a matching toothbrush in it. Harry had remembered her favorite color.

“That’s for me?”

“Just for you.”

Lexy walked forward and picked up the toothbrush. “But I don’t have any toothpaste.”

Harry smirked. “Lucky for you, I happen to have some right here.” He picked up a tube of Colgate and handed it to her.

“I can use your toothpaste?”

“You can use my toothpaste,” Harry assured her as he picked up his own toothbrush and began to brush his teeth. Lexy stared at him, wondering how one human being could be so attractive doing such a mundane thing.” Then she put her own toothpaste on her own brush and copied him.

It was such a couple thing to do and Lexy thought she would never have the chance to do it. But they brushed their teeth together and then walked back into Harry’s bedroom together. Harry turned out the overhead light and got into bed, leaving the room lit by his bedside lamp. Lexy stared at him from the foot of the bed. Grinning, Harry patted the bed beside him.

“Are you waiting for something?”

“No,” Lexy shook her head. “I’m just not in my pajamas yet.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. Lexy couldn’t help but notice that he was completely ready for bad, especially with his lack of shirt. “Do you want to borrow something?”

Lexy thought about how uncomfortable her jeans would be and nodded.

“I have some joggers in the top drawer. You can wear whatever you’d like.”

Lexy did as he told her, digging through it until she found a pair of athletic shorts. Aware that Harry’s eyes were on her, she quickly stripped out of her jeans and into them. Swallowing, she turned back around and got into the bed.

“You’re nervous again,” he noted after he turned off the lamp.

“No I’m not.” She said defiantly, though she avoided his gaze and turned on her side. “I’m just tired.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then she felt him gently roll her over so that he was leaning up on his elbow, towering above her. “Hey, it’s just me.”

Lexy didn’t know why there were tears in her eyes. “I just can’t believe you’re here.”

“Well technically, I’ve been here all along,” he smiled, wiping his thumb across her cheek. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not.” She was still avoiding eye contact with him.

“Lexy baby, look at me.” She blinked, swallowed, and then did as he asked. “I love you.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “I am nervous.”

“I called it,” Harry said smugly, as if he had won a bet. “What’s got you nervous?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” Harry mumbled. “I think you should tell me a story.”

Lexy frowned. “What?”

“Who was your best mate growing up?”

“Sara. We did everything together.”

“Other than Sara. Someone you’re not related to. Give me something juicy.”

Lexy tried not to laugh at how ridiculous Harry sounded saying the word “juicy” and thought for a moment. “This guy named Remy. He was an Indian boy who moved with his family in the middle of second grade. By middle school I was in love with him. We dated for a week and then broke up.”

“Where’s he now?”

“Still in Tennessee. When we got to middle school, he started dating my other friend at the time. As all middle school boys do.”

“That must have been devastating.”

“Yeah. He was my first kiss and everything. I thought I was going to marry him. I had our wedding planned out in my science notebook.”

“So that’s why you’re not good at science,” Harry teased. “You missed it all in middle school.”

Lexy laughed. “What about you? Who was your first love?”

“This girl called Emily. She was absolutely perfect. She wore her hair in plaits every day and we would play army together. She let me be captain.”

Lexy grinned. “That’s so cute.”

“Yeah, I was so happy. William always got to be captain, except when I played with her.” Harry rolled his eyes.

Lexy laughed and then realized she wasn’t nervous any more. She narrowed her eyes at him. “How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me not feel nervous.”

Harry showed his teeth and shrugged. “Just one of my many talents, I guess.”

Lexy rolled her eyes but sat up and kissed him anyway.

“I’m glad it worked,” he mumbled against her lips.

Harry let her take control and Lexy enjoyed it, getting to know his mouth all over again. Harry’s hands twisted into her curls, tugging gently at them when Lexy let go of him.

“I genuinely think you’re the best kisser I’ve ever met,” Harry told her, his eyes shining. “Or maybe it’s just because it’s you and I like everything you do.”

Lexy laughed. “You’re the one telling me not to turn this into a rom-com and look at you.”

“I refute my previous statement. Love Actually was pretty damn good.”

Lexy smiled, leaning forward to kiss him again.

That was how they stayed for a while. The lights were off, the air was col, and there was nothing to be heard but their lips against each other’s, again and again. “You make me feel so young,” Harry whispered when they broke apart again.

“Alternatively, it’s because you never grew up.”

Harry gasped. “I’ll have you know I happen to be plenty adult. I have my own car, pay my own bills, and drink whiskey. You can’t say you do that.”

Lexy stuck her tongue out at him. “Whiskey isn’t even good.”

“Tomorrow I’ll make you more chicken nuggets.”

“Our first meal here. So romantic.”

Harry laughed again. There was so much laughter that night. “Alright, we should sleep. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Can I come with you?” Lexy asked as they readjusted themselves. Harry on his back, Lexy curled on his chest.

“Absolutely not. You would be bored out of your mind. Now, go to sleep.”

“Whatever you say, princess.”

“Oh dear God,” Harry laughed. “Shut up and go to sleep.”

Lexy huffed but nevertheless closed her eyes and listened to the beat of his heart. She listened to the sound of him breathing and tried to match hers to his. There was nothing quite like the feeling of his arm tight around her waist, her face flush to his abdomen. She was so glad she’d called him, so glad she hadn’t let the world ruin it for her.

And though she was still young, and they’d only been together for five months, Lexy was sure she could see herself falling asleep like that every night for the rest of her life.

[royalnightoutphff]

Aaaaahhh You don't even know how I am happy you updated the story. I can wait for when Lexy will fly to London.

i’m glad you enjoyed it!! and hahaha me either, that chapter was already half written before i wrote this one ;) 

[royalnightoutphff]

hi! do you know anyone who does royal fanfic requests?

hey! unfortunately i don’t, but if you message me i might be able to help with what you’re looking for :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Seven

A/N: It's been a while but here's chapter 27! I wrote this in a hurry so I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think! :) Hopefully I'll be around more now! Thanks for reading!

Home was home, if nothing else. Lexy knew that when she stepped off the plane into her smaller city, noticing immediately a change in both the humidity and the atmosphere.

“Lexy!” She heard as soon as she made it to baggage claim. It was Deacon, and he was running for her at full force. She put her bag down in enough time to catch him and held him tight to her.

“Who are you here with?” She asked him when he let go of her.

“Granddaddy,” he said, pointing at the man who was holding Levi.

Lexy took her suitcase off the conveyer belt and walked over to where they were all standing. She took Levi from her father and smiled as he nuzzled himself into her neck.

“Hi Liza Belle,” she said softly to the little girl, whose hair was in plaits. Liza Belle responded by cuddling into her aunt. Together they walked to the old, beat up pick truck that now came complete with car seats for the two youngest.

Liza Belle and Deacon kept Lexy entertained the entire way home. As they passed field after field of beans and cotton, with the gentle sounds of country music in the background, Lexy couldn’t help but feel at peace. But she knew another conversation was soon coming and she wasn’t sure just how prepared she was for it.

**

An hour later the kids were all asleep, Deacon and Liza-Belle sharing Lexy’s room, Levi asleep in the crib. It was just past midnight and she sat across from her father in the kitchen that had been cleaned. It was the same kitchen she’d last seen Harry in as he was eating breakfast before they left for their flights.

“So what is going on?” Lexy asked.

Her father sighed and set down his pepsi can. He’d replaced the beer in the refrigerator with a variety of sodas. “Well, I have no idea where Chace is. Sara’s still there. Haven’t heard from her in weeks.”

Lexy frowned. “So who has custody of them?”

“Me.”

“But your job?”

Her father shrugged. Lexy was beginning to see just how he had been affected by all of this. She wished that her mother was there to see it. “I’m doing what I can. Your Uncle Billy watches the kids when I work.”

“So what do you plan to do? Until Sara gets it together?”

“I’m not sure she will. So I’ll just raise them the best I can.” Her father sighed. “I have a feeling this is my fault. I missed out on y’all growing up so this is God’s way of getting back at me.”

“Daddy, for what it’s worth, Sara did this to herself.”

Her father just shook his head. “Enough about her. How are you? How is Harry?”

“Good. We had some problems but worked them out.”

Her father took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow. “Did he do something?”

Lexy sighed, staring at the curtains above the window. She was surprised her father cared so much. “It was more my fault, I guess. When the press found out about me, they also found out about Sara. I was worried about the kids and Harry was very sympathetic. I just freaked out about it.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Well, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but Harry called me right after you told him you didn’t want to be with him anymore. It was mostly him trying to make sure the kids were safe since you weren’t answering him. He really cared about them.”

Lexy frowned. “What did he do?”

“He just had some security around here. They don’t really know where we live but he had them check out Deacon’s school. He knows what he’s doing.”

Lexy wasn’t sure what to think. Mostly, she felt like even more of an idiot. “I think we’re okay now.”

“I gotta tell you this, Lex, when you first brought him here, I wasn’t so sure about him. He’s a lot older than you and I can’t say I was too fond of our first meeting.”

Lexy rolled her eyes. “You were drunk, Daddy.”

He frowned. “Well, yeah, but you know, growing up in this life, we don’t like the rich people. I didn’t like that he had them people protecting him. Especially since he said he was in the army. I wanted to know why he couldn’t protect himself. But I gotta tell you, after talking to him, I think he’s good for you.”

“So you don’t care about the age?”

Her father shrugged. “There are more important things to worry about. I think that you act older than you are and it’s really all up to what Harry thinks.”

“What do you think Momma would think?”

Her father inhaled. He tilted his head. “Well, I think she’d be proud of you. She was so proud of you, Lex. I hope you know that. She would be so mad at me when I was miss your award nights. I think she would see that Harry loves you and she would be so happy that you’ve found someone like him.”

“You think he loves me?”

He snorted. “Not sure what you kids are calling it these days, but yeah. I think that boy would do just about anything to make sure you’re happy.”

Lexy swallowed. “I wish Momma were here to meet him.”

“She’s here, baby. She’s always with you. You know that.” The tone of her father’s voice changed. It was tender and gentle and unlike anything she had heard since she was a young child. He cleared his throat. “I think that’s something your mother would worry about. You know as well as I do that we ain’t the smartest people here, but even we knew about what happened to his mother. And I gotta say, Lexy, he’ll protect you.”

His last sentence was still echoing in her head when she climbed into bed between Deacon and Liza-Belle. She wondered if what her father said was true and she wanted more than anything to call Harry and tell him. But the tiredness from her travel soon overtook her and she fell asleep to the sound of the children’s snores.

**

The five of them were standing outside the Southern Tennessee Correction Facility in the midday humidity. Lexy held Levi and Liza Belle’s hand in her free one. Deacon stood in front of her and her father, eyes on the man with the gun at the door.

Lexy had had a long conversation with him that morning about what was happening. Lexy hated her sister for the decisions she’d made, for not thinking of the children before she did what she did. Lexy only hoped that one day Deacon would understand, like she had, that life didn’t depend on your parents.

“You alright, Dekes?” She asked, letting go of Liza Belle’s hand to ruffle his hair.

“I wanna see Momma.”

Lexy nodded and shared a look with her father. “Let’s go then.”

Two metal detectors and five forms later, they were being led by a huge man dressed in a black uniform. He reminded Lexy of Harry’s PO Kevin. They finally came to a small room where the officer put in a code to the door. Then, the door opened and Levi cried out.

Sara was sat in a chair in an orange jumpsuit. Her hair was a mess but her face was clear. Levi ran to her and she picked him up, cuddling him and breathing in his scent. Liza Belle hid behind Lexy and Deacon crossed his arms.

“Hey baby,” Sara said softly to Deacon. “I love you.”

Deacon pursed his lips and looked away. He uncrossed his arms and balled his hands into fists. “Can we go now?” He asked his grandfather.

Lexy’s heart broke for the boy and she risked a glance at her sister to see that her eyes were filling with tears. “Dekes, you should say hey to your momma.”

“No,” he said, refusing to look at her. “She’s not my mom.”

“Baby, she is your mom.”

Deacon responded by opening the door and slamming it behind him. Lexy sighed, realizing she was the only one who could handle this situation and tried to transfer Liza Belle’s hand to her father’s. Liza Belle didn’t like that idea, clinging to Lexy’s hand instead.

And that was how she ended up with the two of them at a small ice cream shop that happened to be next door. The owner was way too cheery for the three of them and they sat at a table by the window. Deacon had a bowl of chocolate and Liza Belle had strawberry, simply because of the color.

“So,” Lexy said. “Don’t y’all wanna see your momma before we go home?”

“No,” Deacon answered. “I told you she’s not my mom.”

“Dekes—“

“She’s not. I don’t have a momma. Or a daddy.”

“Deacon, baby, that’s not how it works.” Lexy sighed, trying to come up with an answer on the spot that would satisfy him but not make the situation worse. “Remember that time last summer when we were at the park and you fell down and skinned your knee? And it hurt a lot?”

Deacon nodded, still pouting.

“But you’d been riding your bike for two whole years before that right?”

Deacon nodded again.

“Sometimes being a grown up is like that too. We fall off our bikes and sometimes we get really hurt. Sometimes we crash into people and hurt them too, but it doesn’t mean that we’ll never ride our bike again.”

Deacon frowned. “I don’t get it.”

Lexy sighed. “Okay. I think you should see your mom before we leave.”

“I told you—“

“I know, she’s not your mom.” Lexy rolled her eyes. “But you should see her before we leave, okay?”

She couldn’t help but notice how grown up Deacon seemed, how much older he seemed to be. She wondered if this was the cost of being away from home.

“Whatever,” Deacon said, pushing his ice cream away. But he agreed when she asked him again and the three headed back inside, hand in hand.

**

When Harry called her two hours later, Levi and Liza Belle had just gone down for a nap and Deacon was playing a video game. Lexy thanked God for the spontaneous call and closed the door to her room to answer it.

“Hey baby,” he said in greeting, making Lexy’s heart beat faster at the sound of it. She couldn’t believe she’d see him again so soon. “I just got home from work.”

“I just got home from prison.”

“Oh no, how was that?”

Lexy sighed and sunk to the floor. “Deacon took it very badly. He told me he doesn’t have a mom or a dad.”

Harry whistled. “Poor kid. How did Sara take that?”

“Not well. But it’s her fault. I find it difficult to reason with a seven-year-old when he’s completely right.”

“People make mistakes, Lexy. We have to forgive them and get over it.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But there are kids involved.”

“Yeah, and just like I was a kid when my parents did some fucked up things. And just like you were a kid when your parents did their fucked up things. All you can do is know that one day you won’t do the same fucked up things with your own children.”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me either. Listen Lex, I’ve been thinking. I think you should your internship in Spain.”

Lexy frowned. “But it’s in Spain. And you’re in England.”

“I know, but I think it’s selfish of me to give you an internship just so you can be nearer to me. Spain isn’t that far, we could see each other every weekend. Plus, we’ll still have most of June together, right?”

“Harry, I can’t afford to travel every weekend.”

“I can,” he told her and by the tone of his voice she knew he was rolling his eyes. “It’s really not that expensive at all, Europe is very close. And to be quite honest, I’ll simply be enjoying the fact that we’ll be in the same time zone again. I’ve never found five hours quite so annoying before.”

Lexy laughed. Then she smiled. “My dad approves of you.”

“Really?”

“Everything is so different, Haz.”

“What do you mean?” She heard ruffling in the room and figured he was about to start dinner.

“My dad is different. He’s changed a lot. And this might sound stupid, but it makes me more sad than anything, because I wish my mom were here to see it. He told me that she’d be happy that I found you. And I know I told you that already but hearing it just made me feel so sad.”

“Hey,” he said softly. “You are the least stupid person I know. I understand. How are the kids?”

“Asking me not to leave. I feel so guilty, Harry. So, so guilty. Why should I get to go across the world when everything is like it is?”

“They’re not your responsibility, baby. You have to go out and do big things so that you can help them one day. You’re setting an example. One day, those kids, and all the other kids like them, are going to look at you and realize they can do big things no matter their life.”

“But for now?”

“For now there’s nothing you can do. No judge is going to give a twenty-one-year-old custody of three children. The only thing you can do is to keep making yourself better.”

“I just hate this.”

“I know. I wish I could make it better.”

Lexy took a deep breath. “I really am excited to see you.”

“Me too. And I wasn’t joking about the time difference. I’ll be so glad that you won’t wake me up at 5am anymore for your late night talks.”

Lexy felt a new wave of guilt at how supportive Harry was being, at how understanding he was of all of her fuck-ups. Even if he was joking. Then she begin to cry.

“Lexy?” He asked, clearly confused. “What’s wrong? I wasn’t being serious about the time difference. I’m not really bothered by it. Well, not really that bothered.”

“I just don’t deserve you,” she sobbed. “I’m an awful person.”

“Oh dear God,” he said. “Stop.”

“I was so awful this semester. I don’t know why you dealt with me.”

“Lexy—“

“You’re even getting shit for it too. Maybe—“

“If you suggest that we take a break again, I will fly to Tennessee right now. Lexy, I understand, okay? I understand why you reacted the way you did. I understand how difficult your life is. I understand that your thoughts come from a different place than mine. And it doesn’t matter that you make mistakes, because I make them too. We’ll figure this all out, okay?”

Lexy hiccupped. “I just feel like I’ve been making your life so stressful. I don’t even know why you like me.”

“What are you on about now?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say yes to dating you for months. I freaked out on you the night you told me, in that restaurant at Oxford, remember? I didn’t talk to you because of something you can’t even control. And the fact that there’s a time difference and that we’re literally across the world from each other doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Yeah, the bloody time difference is fucking awful. That’s clearly why I should break up with you.”

“You see!”

Lexy was sure Harry was rolling his eyes again. “I’m not even sure I can remember everything you just said. But first off, you are twenty-one, and a hell of a lot more mature than I was at your age. You’re still figuring yourself out. Secondly, I can’t tell you why people are attracted to each other, it’s got something to do with science that’s too complex for me. But all of that doesn’t even matter because I’m in love with you, and everything that you fucking say and do.”

Lexy’s mouth fell open. “Wow, that was so casual.”

Harry started to laugh. “See? That’s why I’m in love with you. Your reactions, the way you see the world, the way you process it. Your ability to make me happy without even trying. I’ve never felt quite like this before.”

Lexy smiled. “Two more days.”

“Two more days,” he echoed.

“I have to say, when we first met, I had no idea you’d be like this.”

“Be like what?”

“I mean, I didn’t know that much about you but I’m pleasantly surprised by how nice of a person you are.”

“That goes both ways,” he laughed. He sobered up a bit and sighed. “Listen, Lex, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Lexy frowned. “Yeah?”

“I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but my father wants to meet you.”

“Oh no,” Lexy moaned. “Really?”

“Really. He’s a good man and I’m sure it’ll go fine but I wanted to let you know before you freak out.”

“Why does he want to meet me?”

Harry snorted. “It might have something to do with the fact that I released an official statement telling the world to leave you alone and he didn’t know you existed. But I guess more of it is recently I haven’t stopped talking about you and he’s got this rather big image of you in his head.”

Lexy groaned. “What did you tell him about me?”

“Nothing really. Just that you go to Princeton, and that you speak ten languages, and that you want to be fundamentally change the American education system someday.”

“I speak six languages, Harry, and only three of them are fluent.”

“Well, that’s more than him. That’s all that matters.”

Lexy rolled her eyes. “When are we meeting him?”

“We’ll do Sunday roast the day after you arrive. I could tell William to come if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“It makes me so happy that you’re not freaking out right now. You’ve grown a lot, Lex.”

Lexy smiled at the compliment. “Yeah, let’s see how I feel in three days.”

Harry laughed lightly. “I’m going to go find something for dinner. Tell the kids I said hello?”

“For sure.”

“Good night, Lexy. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, smiling to herself at the way it sounded. “See you soon.”

And with that, she opened the door and set off towards Deacon, ready to play his video game for the fourth time that day.

[royalnightoutphff]

Are you still updating? I just found your story last night and read the whole thing. Hope you're still writing!

Aw, that’s so kind of you! :) Thank you so much! And I will update hopefully this weekend :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

OMFG your fanfic is perfect!! I love that it is quite different from the other ones!! please update i need more 😍

Thank you so much! :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

Hello! I love Harry and Lexy and I can't wait for an update ;)

Thank you so much! :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

Update

Hi guys! I’m sooo sorry I’ve been away for so long. I had a very busy semester at my own university and am currently studying abroad, so I have limited access to internet. I’m going to write now and will hopefully update sometime this weekend :) Thanks so much if you’re still reading and I hope you are all well! 

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Six

If there was anything Princeton didn’t play around with, it was finals. Most of the time Lexy thought she had completely acclimated to the academic rigor of classes. Then finals would come around and Lexy would be knocked right down to where she should’ve been from the beginning.

The mood on campus truly shifted when it came time for finals to begin. People were just a little less friendly, a lot more stressed, and everyone seemed to be wishing for the time to end with the right results.

Lexy and her friends were no different. But by the time she only had one final left, Lexy decided she should patch things over with Carrie before the year ended, just so she could start the summer with hardly any worries. She still hadn’t talked to Harry nor had he tried contacting her, but Lexy was less worried about him and decided to just let things patch themselves over.

“Hey,” Lexy said as soon as Carrie walked into Starbucks. She’d gotten there on time but Lexy was typically earlier than everyone else.

Carrie was dressed better than Lexy was. Lexy was still dressing in her finals attire of jeans and a t-shirt but Carrie had taken the time to do her makeup and put on a dress, probably as part of her plan to show everyone that she had everything together.

“I actually gave up coffee,” Carrie told her sitting across from her and rising her sunglasses to sit on top of her head. “But I came here to talk anyway.”

Lexy frowned. “Thanks?”

Carrie sighed and leaned forward. “I just wanted you to know that I probably overreacted. I was going to reach out to you after the press found out but I felt like you probably wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

Lexy nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m not even talking to Harry right now.”

She didn’t know why she told her that. Lexy still had her suspicions that Carrie might have been the one who told the media but it just flowed out of her like Carrie deserved to know, even if she really didn’t.

Lexy had missed her, she guessed. The ease of having a friend who was always up to walk with her, always up to try and better her life. She just wished Carrie had thought that Harry was a part of Lexy bettering her life, even though she clearly didn’t.

Carrie frowned at her. “You’re not? Did you break up with him?”

“No,” Lexy said in a rush, again feeling the paranoia that Carrie was going to tell someone. Or maybe, she thought, it was the British grad student who had said something. Maybe she should reach out to him too. “It was a lot of stress on me with everything going on at home. I’m sure you’ve heard about it.”

Carrie nodded. “I’m sorry about that. I probably should have texted you then too.”

Lexy shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just wanted to make sure we were okay.”

“We’ll always be okay, Lexy. We don’t always agree and I think it’s really hard to settle sometimes but I want you to know that I’ve got your back. No matter where you go in life.”

Lexy squinted at her. The statement was too sincere to be a lie. “You didn’t tell the media about me and Harry?”

“What? No! Why would I tell them? You’re my friend. Best friend, actually.”

Lexy studied her. Carrie was surely telling the truth. She shook her head. “I just thought that you reacted really strongly to seeing him. And that maybe that drove you to say something.”

“I was a little jealous to be honest, but I would never do something like that. I promise you that. Lexy, you deserve someone who loves you and I’m not going to stand in the way of that. Even if I did it unconsciously.”

Lexy frowned. “Harry doesn’t even love me though. We’ve never said that.”

Carrie rolled her eyes. “The boy loves you. Otherwise he wouldn’t fly all the way over here just to spend a week with you while you’re in class half the time. It doesn’t matter if he’s said it or not.”

Lexy reached out and touched Carrie’s hand. “Thanks, Care. For being my friend. Even when we’re not talking.”

Carrie laughed. “Anytime Lex. Anytime. I still pray for you every night. And I hope you know that I’m always here even when it seems like I’m not.”

Lexy smiled at her. “So what are you drinking now in place of your daily coffee?”

“Tea. I just bought this box that had about six different types in it. I never used to like it as a kid but apparently tea has a ton of benefits in comparison to coffee.”

“I’m not a big fan of tea. Except peppermint. I like peppermint. And sweet tea, of course.”

Carrie smiled but rolled her eyes. “Iced tea is so bad for you. It has so much sugar.”

“Probably. But it tastes so good. I miss it so much when I’m here. I couldn’t drink it for nine or so months because they don’t sell it England either.”

Carrie laughed. “You southerners are so weird.”

“Like you’re any better,” she childishly stuck out her tongue. Then she checked her phone and saw the time. She still had one final the next day and needed to finish it.

“I should get going. I still need to finish studying for my German final.”

“Me too. When do you leave?”

They both stood up, walking in sync towards the door and then outside into the bright May day. Everything felt a little better, Lexy thought, with the sun shining and the natural summertime heat getting closer and closer.

“On Friday. The train to the airport will be packed I’m sure, but it’ll be worth it. What about you?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow after my final. I didn’t want to be here any longer than I had to,” Lexy laughed.

“Well, bye Lex! If I don’t see you again before you leave I hope you have an amazing summer! I’ll facetime you!”

They hugged and as they parted ways Lexy felt like a weight had been lifted off of her already, having another friend back in her life. She was halfway back to her dorm when her phone began to ring. Lexy always kept it on silent but remembered she had turned the ringer on in case she overslept.

It was an unknown number. At first Lexy pushed it deeper into her pocket, but then she thought it was probably her internship, so she pulled it out and answered.

“Bueno?” She said, genuinely thinking it was someone from Spain on the line.

“Lexy?” Came an English accented reply.

Lexy closed her eyes and stopped walking, causing someone on a bike to almost run into her and send her a glare she didn’t see.

“Lexy,” the voice continued. “This is Kate. I just wanted to give you a call to check up on you.”

“Did Harry tell you to do this?” She felt angry again. There she was, contemplating calling him and apologizing and then he had to go and do something else. She didn’t know what his idea of space was, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“Oh no!” Kate exclaimed. “And don’t tell him about this either. William doesn’t even know. I even blocked your number in case one of them gets a hold of my phone.”

Lexy squinted at the capitol building in front of her and continued to walk towards her dorm. “He didn’t? How did you get my number?”

Kate laughed. “If I tell you, you can’t ever tell Harry.”

“Of course not.” Lexy didn’t know why she was agreeing to it.

“Harry’s computer password isn’t too difficult to figure out. We were back at Kensington for the weekend and Harry asked to watch George. William was gone so I dropped him off and when Harry went to the loo, I decided to track hacking. I found your number in his contacts.”

Lexy found herself laughing so loud at that that she was getting strange looks from students passing by. “I’m impressed. You’d think someone who’d spent so much time in the military would know to have better passwords.”

“Harry’s a bit of an idiot, I think you’ll find.”

Lexy laughed even harder at that. She was glad she answered the phone. “How are George and Charlotte?”

“Oh they’re doing wonderful. Charlotte’s really talking a lot now and George is just beginning to learn to read a few words. Of course, he only knows certain ones, like dog and cat. We’re moving back to Kensington permanently; I don’t know if you heard?”

“I think Harry did mention that, yeah. How do you feel about it?”

“I love London. It’s a bit unnerving, packing up the children and moving but I’m hoping for the best. But,” she paused for a dramatic effect. “Speaking of Harry, I’ve called because of him.”

Lexy figured she had. Her face fell. “Yeah?”

“He’s been a bit too mopey lately. And very self-deprecating, actually. He keeps going on about how he’s a disappointment. The only problem is he and William are quite close so they share everything, so I only know certain things because William has told me, and I’m not supposed to know them.”

“He’s got to be about the furthest things from disappointment there is.”

“He keeps comparing himself to you, talking about how you’ve actually made a difference in life and he’s only done things because of how he was born.”

“Me?” Lexy squeaked. “He has to be kidding. He has his own charity!”

“He’s really impressed by you. He keeps going on about how brilliant you are and he’s even begun trying to teach George Spanish, so that you’ll be impressed with him.”

Lexy snorted. “He doesn’t even speak Spanish.”

“Which is why you need to call him and tell him to stop! There’s only so much I can take, Lexy.”

Kate was smart. Lexy had to give her that, convincing her to call Harry without actually asking her to. But Lexy still wasn’t sure she was up to talking to him just yet.

“I just don’t know if I can call him. I made a really stupid decision by not talking to him.”

“With all due respect,” Kate said, in the same manner Harry had in their earlier conversation. “Do you think your decision is getting any less stupid the longer you wait?”

She had a point. Lexy sighed and decided to walk around campus a few times before going inside. The weather outside was still so nice that it would be a pity to waste it indoors. “Okay, you’re right. I’ll call him.”

“Wonderful! If you need to get in touch with me, send me an email. It’s just catherinemiddleton@gmail.com. I’ve had it since university and no one ever suspects it.”

What was it with the royals and email? Lexy laughed. “Okay. Thanks, Kate. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye! Good luck!”

Lexy hung up the phone, staring at her background. It was black with a single word, “dream,” near the bottom. Lexy took a deep breath and went to her favorites, calling the name listed directly under Nicole’s.

He answered after three rings. “Hello?”

“Hey,” she said softly, sitting on a bench. “Harry, I’m sorry.”

Harry was silent. Lexy counted the seconds like she used to. “Me too,” he said finally. “But I already told you that.”

It was awkward and Lexy didn’t like awkward. She’d spent most of her life trying to get away from it. “I saw some pictures of you from the London Marathon. You looked really nice.”

“Oh, have you taken to googling me now?”

Lexy smiled. “I had to get my daily dose of you since we haven’t been Skyping.”

Harry chuckled and Lexy was glad to hear the sound, hoping it would mean he didn’t hate her after all.

“Well, was there a certain reason you called?”

Lexy swallowed, running her shoe over a crack in the pavement. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for overreacting and being mean to you. And for ignoring you. And blocking your number.”

“Anything else you need to say?”

“I danced with this guy when Nicole and I went out last weekend. He tried to kiss me and I ran away. I ran all the way back to my dorm.”

“You didn’t want him to kiss you?”

“No,” she said, worried about what his reaction would be. “I only want you to kiss me.”

“This is beginning to sound a bit like a rom com,” Harry said. “But I think I like it.”

“So that means you forgive me?”

“You’ve been forgiven since the moment it happened. I was mostly worried about you being there all alone. You better believe that if we lived closer, and if I hadn’t known that you would kill me if I’d just shown up at Princeton, this would have been settled a while ago.”

Lexy smiled. “I don’t think I would have killed you. I would’ve been mad but I would’ve gotten over it.”

“I’m too attractive to ignore?”

“Your hair is too red for me to ever ignore you. Plus,” she frowned. “Ed Sheeran and his girlfriend are still going strong. He said something so beautiful about her and I’m torn between wanting to be happy for him and being incredibly jealous of her.”

Harry laughed loudly and Lexy’s smile widened at the sound. “God, I have missed you. Only a few more weeks yeah?”

“About that,” Lexy frowned. “I was really mad, so I kind of called the Spanish internship and told them yes.”

Harry was silent so Lexy counted his seconds again. Seventeen. “Lexy Renee Marks. You did what?”

“Well I wasn’t going to spend the summer with you if I was avoiding you!”

Harry groaned. “Why are you so stupid sometimes?”

“At least I’m not trying to teach my nephew a language I don’t speak!”

“Who told you that?! That was confidential!”

“I have my ways.”

“Fucking William,” he muttered. “Can’t keep his goddamn mouth shut for shit.”

Lexy was amazed at how attractive she found his swearing. She’d heard it before, of course. But the way he was talking made her want to hop on a plane and go straight to London.

“I’ll call them back and see if I can arrange something differently. Is the one in London still good?”

Lexy could tell he was rolling his eyes. “Lexy, the one in London will always be good.”

“I don’t want an internship just because I’m dating you! I want one because I got it myself.”

“To be fair, you’re dating me because you’re you. So I don’t see a difference.”

Lexy huffed and stood up from the bench. “I need to pack. I’m going home tomorrow.”

“How are you feeling about that?” he asked as she began to walk back towards her dorm.

“It’ll be okay. I’m more excited to see the kids, to be honest. And it’ll be my first time seeing Sara. But I’m still mad at her, so I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“She’s still in the facility?”

Lexy wondered why he didn’t call it prison but answered him anyway. “Yeah. This is her second felony. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Damn,” he whistled. “That’s a mess.”

“I’m sorry my life is so fucked up.”

“Well, that’s not your fault. And my life isn’t exactly smooth either.”

“I really can’t wait to see you again,” she found herself finally saying, how she really felt coming through. “I wish we lived in the same country.”

“Oh me too. But not so long now, especially if you decide to cancel your internship in Spain. Spain’s not that nice anyway.”

“Harry!”

“I’m just saying that England is better.”

“Is it now?”

“Yeah. We’ve got Ed Sheeran.”

Lexy laughed as she opened the door. “I should go. I think Nicole is napping. Bye, Harry. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Lex. I love you in that way that every human loves another human.”

Lexy smiled and told him the same but as they hung up, she couldn’t help wondering when it was going to be the real thing.

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lexy woke from the best sleep she’d had in days. It had been a week since the initial day the press had found out. Harry had only texted her once, a note about how he was going to give her space but that he would be there for her when she was ready to talk to him. Lexy ignored it and went back to focusing on her studies again.

Things at home weren’t much better. Sara was still being held in a jail cell. Her father still had all of the children, which worried her deeply. Chace was still working but he seemed to be very emotional, which made her father even angrier. The most of Lexy’s news had come from her Uncle Billy, who was doing what he could to stop in and make sure everyone was being taking care of.

And the press? Well they seemed to be getting worse. They’d memorized her schedule by how much she was leaving the building, chasing her down and following her to wait outside the building she worked in. It had gotten to the point where when six o’clock hit and it was time to leave for the day, Manuela, her boss had told her not to come back until she figured out what was going on. It wasn’t safe for the children.

Lexy reckoned it was what happened after that dismissal that prompted Harry to issue the statement she woke up to.

He’d always been skeptical about her walking back alone at night. He’d told her that much. It didn’t bother Lexy. Usually she went unnoticed, but that night, a couple of reporters kept following her, posting the video of her trying to get away from them all over the internet. Lexy had been dubbed “The Run-Away Princess” by the media and Harry wasn’t having any of it.

Lexy woke up to a single text from Carrie that morning. They still hadn’t talked, still hadn’t sorted out their issues. So Lexy wasn’t quite sure why she felt the need to text her the link of Harry’s statement, but she didn’t respond to her either.

She glanced over at Nicole still asleep and walked out of her room without changing out of her pajamas to the kitchen where she promptly called Harry.

“I thought I told you not to issue a statement,” she said before he could even get a word in.

“Lexy, I had to do something. Did you watch the video of them chasing you as you left from work? You know I don’t like you walking alone from there at night anyway.”

“That’s none of your concern. Now they’re going to get even worse.”

“I asked them to stop. They usually listen to me.”

“But you’ve just confirmed for the world that we’re together.”

“I didn’t say you were my girlfriend in the statement. I didn’t even call you—“

“A friend,” she interrupted. “You didn’t even call me a friend. You said to stop following Lexy Marks, which is you basically saying that they were right. I bet when I walk out of here there are going to be even more.”

Harry sighed into the phone. “I’m just trying to make you safe. How are things at home?”

“I didn’t call for a catch up conversation,” she snapped. “I called because I woke up to this when I told you not to.”

“With all due respect, I’m an adult, and I can do what I’d like regardless of what you say.”

Lexy huffed. “Whatever. I need to go.”

“Lexy—“

Lexy hung up on him again. It was becoming a pattern for her to end his call when he said her name but the more that she did it the less that she felt bad about it.

She headed back up to her room to see that Nicole was still sleeping and decided to get ready for the day.

One by one, it seemed, Lexy was losing everyone she was close to. More than that, it seemed to be all her fault.

**

When Lexy walked outside that morning, it seemed that Harry had been right. There was no press to greet her. She probably should’ve called and thanked him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

The rest of the week dragged by in a blur. Harry had begun texting her a few times a day, to which Lexy responded by blocking his number. She knew she was being rude but she just didn’t want to talk to him. Lexy had decided she was still angry about the statement, even though it did help the situation.

There was also the prospect of finals coming up which she was dreading more and more. She was starting to stress, feeling like she really hadn’t spent as much time studying as she should have. Lexy was starting to think that Harry had been nothing but a mistake, causing her to lose focus completely. After all, she was meant to get into college and do the best she could and then find a way to improve her future life. Not the other way around.

But as hard as she tried, even with the press no longer bothering her, she still couldn’t seem to focus. Her heart just wasn’t in it. She made daily calls home and it seemed that everything was going okay, even if they weren’t how things should’ve been. She still missed her mother more and more with her junior year drawing to a close and stepping closer to her graduation.

It really did feel like her life was falling completely apart to her and one night she just broke.

She wasn’t talking to Harry anymore which had been a major stress reliever for her, even if she hadn’t known it at the time. Ana was busy with volleyball and her own studies. Carrie was still not a part of her life. So when Lexy got back to her room after getting a C on her final paper for her educational policy class and Nicole wasn’t there, she just completely broke down crying.

She actually wasn’t sure how long she just sat on the floor and cried but she knew that when Nicole appeared, the time for dinner had long passed and she wasn’t even hungry.

Nicole took one look at her, taking off her headphones and shook her head. “What is wrong with you?”

Lexy hastily wiped her tears. “Nothing.”

“Lexy Renee Marks. What is wrong with you?”

Lexy shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” Lexy hadn’t meant to be insulting but the way that Nicole was towering over her at her already tall height, arms cross and glaring, made her feel like she had been. Lexy sat up.

“I think my life is falling apart.”

Nicole nodded like she’d expected it. “What makes you feel like that?”

“All this stuff with my sister and the kids. My dad. Harry. And I got a C on my final paper. I feel like I’m failing.”

“That’s incredible, Lex. With all this stuff going on and you got a C. You have to realize that sometimes you do what you can. You’re not in control of any of this going on in your life and look at how you’ve handled it. Beautifully. Not one person on this campus could’ve done what you’ve done and even gotten a C.”

Lexy shook her head. “They could have though. It’s not that difficult.”

“Not that difficult?! Girl, how much of your grade is that C worth?”

“Fifteen percent.”

“Fifteen percent. Right. You’re still going to get a B in the class. That’s something to be proud of.”

Lexy shrugged. “I guess. I just want to know when all of this will stop happening to me. When I’ll be okay again, when things will just be fine again.”

“Do you mean with Harry?”

“No. I mean with my family. Harry is a different story.”

Nicole sat down on the floor in front of Lexy, sitting cross legged and resting her elbows on her knees. “You know what I think? I think that Harry is your answer out.”

Lexy squinted at her. “What?”

Nicole shrugged. “Obviously you don’t have to take my word for it but it just seems to me that you’ve genuinely been the happiest I’ve ever seen you when you got back from England and when you would be talking to him. Every one of your friends knows the shit you’ve been through but that has nothing on how you are when you’re with Harry. Nothing at all.”

“I just think we’re too different. He’s too much older. He has too much money. He’s in a different place than me.”

Nicole frowned. “I know that you of all people aren’t going to let those things stop you. You might even be more mature than Harry for what it’s worth. And we don’t let money stop us! And this different place bullshit is just that. Bullshit. Harry knows what he’s getting into by dating someone like you. Believe me. You have to trust him.”

Lexy wiped her eye again. “I just think there’s too much stuff that happens in my family. The press found out about me and they blasted a bunch of stuff about my sister. You saw.”

“I did. And Harry did, too. And you know what? He’s still wants to be with you. Lexy you have to understand that Harry’s life hasn’t been all fun and games. It’s been just like yours but in a different way. Yes, he might have a lot of money. And he might have a lot of privilege. But the kid lost his mom in front of the entire world when he was what thirteen?”

“Twelve,” Lexy sniffled. “A week before his thirteenth birthday.”

“Right. And that certainly wasn’t easy. And his every move has been dictated for him. Every fuck up has been recorded. He goes grocery shopping and people take pictures of him.”

“So you think he’s had it rough?”

“Yeah,” she said, sitting straight up. “I do. Obviously it’s different and you have been through things that he wouldn’t dream of having to go through, but his life hasn’t been a piece of cake either. It’s just different.”

“I still don’t want to talk to him right now.”

Nicole stretched, standing back up. “That’s fine. You make your own decisions. I’m just telling you to consider things from a different perspective. I think Harry’s going to wait for you. You just have to make sure that you show up eventually.”

Lexy stood up, playing with her hair. “The thing is, I feel like a lot of this is my fault. And I feel like I’m a shitty person.”

“Yeah?” Nicole turned around from her closet she was sifting through. “You’re probably wrong too, but to be honest, if I woke up to a fuck ton of people yelling at me, I’d probably freak out too. You just got to remember that this isn’t Harry’s fault. He doesn’t want this anymore than you do.”

Lexy nodded then, having a slight urge to call him but then remembering how uncomfortable that would be. “Thanks, Nicole.”

“Any time,” she waved a hand. “Oh, and get dressed. We’re going out tonight.” Lexy was about to argue but Nicole stopped her. “Don’t even. You know as well as I do that it’ll be good. You can drink some alcohol. Dance. It’ll make everything feel better. I’m honestly sure Harry will be doing the same thing.”

Lexy sighed but got up and walked over the mirror before grabbing her face wash and heading towards the bathroom, deciding that Nicole was right and that a night out would be good for her.

**

The only good thing that came about from Lexy not eating was that she needed less alcohol to feel good. With just three shots she was already feeling herself way too much and was already dancing around to the music that Nicole had put on for them, some album she had never heard before.

“This is good music!” She shouted.

Nicole laughed. She’d had the same amount as Lexy but Lexy’s height and appetite made them feel quite a bit different. Nicole shushed Lexy with her finger and finished applying her eyeliner.

“Are you ready?”

Lexy nodded eagerly and the two left the room, Lexy basically skipping out the door and leaving Nicole at a run to find her.

“I want to post us on my snapchat,” Lexy told her. Then she frowned. “But let’s wait till we’re in the club so the flash will look good.”

Nicole laughed again, seeing a group of people walking towards them. “Whatever you say, Sexy Lexy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lexy warned. “Harry calls me that and I don’t want to think about him.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “It was my nickname for you first.”

But she complied with the shorter girl’s wishes, making their way into the building where the Chainsmoker’s most recent hit was blasting from the speakers. They made it past the bouncers with no problems and each denied a beer as they walked onto the dance floor. It was a black out night, with colors flashing everywhere.

And Lexy felt good. She was glad she’d made the decision to go out. The girls made their way into a circle and Lexy and some guy next to her began to shout the words to I Took a Pill in Ibiza to each other. She couldn’t really see what he looked like but immediately knew that he wanted to dance with her from the way he was acting. And as he moved behind her, Lexy had no objections, continuing to sway to the beat of the song.

Nicole raised her eyebrows to ask if she was okay before attempting to pull Lexy away from the guy. Lexy snatched her arm away, falling back in line with the music. She wasn’t thinking of the problems, just feeling at one with the music.

By the third song which turned out to be some pop hit that everyone but Lexy recognized, she was feeling completely better than she had been all day. But then the guy she was dancing with, who Lexy realized had light brown hair, tried to kiss her. That’s when Lexy bolted.

She wasn’t sure where she was going, running down the street at one am, in a crop top and a pair of tight little shorts. She didn’t have proper footwear on and she was still a bit tipsy, but the run felt relieving, almost like it was what she needed most. Lexy wondered if she was going crazy.

She finally made it back to campus, dashing up some stairs and running all the way back to her dorm. She looped around it once to keep running and then decided to go inside, her lungs a bit sore for the chilliness of the outside air.

Lexy glanced at herself in the mirror and realized she looked like a complete mess. It had been the last weekend to go out before finals began and because of it she had put on a good bit of makeup but it was all smeared. Even her mascara had gotten clumpy. Her hair was a mess too, her curls frizzy and all over the place.

She took all of her makeup off carefully and then went down to brush her teeth, realizing she shouldn’t have left Nicole alone and sending a text to apologize. Nicole replied a few minutes later saying that it was fine and that she wouldn’t be coming back for the night.

Lexy sighed, glancing around the room and wishing she could do the same. It was just after two, and she knew that even though it was a Saturday, Harry was probably just getting up for the day. She made a decision and decided to unblock his number once and for all. She expected texts from him to come pouring through but realized that she wouldn’t get the ones that he’d sent to her while his number was blocked. Or at least, she didn’t think so. From what Nicole had told her about the time she blocked Josh’s number.

She took a deep breath and climbed into bed, still contemplating whether she should attempt to fix things or let them be. Something in her head made her pull up the picture of her and Harry from her sister’s house that night, and she laid awake studying it.

There was something about the way he was staring down at her, as if there was nothing else in the world more important, that made her swallow. It had been a wonderful night even though they’d been surrounded by the mess that was her family. There wasn’t a thing wrong with that photo, even though Lexy was smiling up with her mouth wide open, something she usually didn’t like to look at.

But the girl in the photo was happy. Really happy. And the guy was too. Lexy could feel the night in her mind, the way the light spring night air had felt on her skin, the sound of the song playing, one she hadn’t heard since she’d been home last. It didn’t feel out of place. It felt like everything belonged.

Lexy only hadn’t talked to Harry for a week at that point but she really did miss him. A lot. But as if she had something to prove, she knew she wouldn’t be the one contacting him next. She did, decide however, that the next time Harry tried to contact her she would answer him. Probably, at least. It really depended on what he said.

Because deep down she knew that Harry wasn’t wrong. But she also felt like she wasn’t wrong. Lexy had never been particularly good at compromising. And this seemed like it was about to really put her to the test.

She also realized that sometimes it was probably better to be completely alone to have those decisions, with no one crowding her mind but her. Lexy fell asleep that night thinking about Harry, and her family at home. What drove her craziest was that she couldn’t stop replaying the way that Harry was with all three of the kids, even though he had absolutely no responsibility to act any type of way towards them.

[royalnightoutphff]

Do you have chapter links anywhere? I've just started reading your story and I love it, but I'm having a hard time finding the early chapters without scrolling through the whole blog :(

Yes I do! Here you go http://royalnightoutphff.tumblr.com/chapters :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

I think Lexy is acting really immature about this, and her coping mechanism is to block and push everything or everyone out. She has to learn that you can't hide from your problems from everything that scares you. Great chapter can't wait for the next one!

I totally agree, when I was writing I was like “girl, whaaaat?” but I think it’s important to realize that she’s only 21! So she was pretty scared, but she’ll hopefully come around :) thanks for reading and writing this!! 

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Four

A/N: I'm posting this now because I have new classes starting on Monday, so I'm not exactly sure when I'll get a chance to post again (at least until next weekend). Also, this chapter is a little different in that we see a bit of Harry's perspective. So far this is the only time i have planned for that but if it's well-recieved I could do it more :) As always, don't be afraid to send feedback!

Harry had made it to his office in plenty of time that morning. He’d even had enough time to eat breakfast, something that hardly ever happened. And as he was sitting at his desk sifting through paperwork, his mind was going through various encounters with the charities he was reading about, and his Grandmother’s upcoming birthday, and finally, Lexy, wondering if she was enjoying her sleep. He couldn’t wait to talk to her, curious to see what she’d gotten up to. She hadn’t answered his texts the night before and he was anxious to hear how her day had gone.

There was a knock at the door before his personal secretary poked his head in the door.

“Ed,” Harry greeted, a look of pleasure mounting his face at the sight of his secretary. They’d always gotten on well and were more friends than anything else. “How’s it going?”

Ed simply shook his head in response. “Harry, they know.”

Harry’s face fell instantly and he visibly swallowed. “Fuck,” he muttered, kicking his desk. “Things were going so well.”

“You need to call her. Immediately. Prepare her.”

Harry glanced at the clock. “She’s not awake yet. Won’t be for another few hours. She doesn’t get up for another four hours at least.”

“Can’t you call her? Wake her up?”

“Her phone is always on silent when she’s sleeping. She doesn’t like to be woken up.” She’d also told Harry that it was mostly a decision from when her father would call her multiple times when he was drunk, more often than not in the dead of the night.

“Do your best. We’ve got Princeton on the line. Their campus is crawling with reporters. They know her dorm and are surrounding it.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed even louder. He was starting to panic, thinking of her all alone, and no idea what she should do. “Can’t we do something about it? Kick them out?”

“It’s the American press. We don’t have a handle on anything they do. And besides, it’s a public campus, it can’t be regulated. The best you can do is get in touch with her and warn her about what’s coming.”

“She’s not answering!” Harry snapped as it went straight to voicemail again. He felt like punching something, only imagining what her reaction was going to be. He hung his head in his hands. “God, she’s not going to take this well. This might be the end.”

“Harry, if she cares about you—“

“You don’t know her, Ed. You don’t know Lexy. This is going to freak her out.”

Ed watched him carefully, wondering if he had ever seen Harry so distraught in his time as his secretary. “Would seeing what they’ve written make it better or worse?”

Harry sighed but picked his head up and held a hand out to reach for the iPad Ed was holding. He read the first one and then looked up at Ed. “What the fuck is this? This isn’t even about her! This is about her sister! Is this even allowed?”

“Harry, I told you, we don’t have a handle on the American press. We can’t do anything.”

“This isn’t even about her. God, she is going to kill me. I didn’t even know this. Wait—this happened last night! Fuck, she might not even know yet.”

Ed continued to watch him, watching as Harry stood up and began to pace back and forth across the room, constantly fidgeting, adjusting his tie. He groaned. “I don’t know how to fix this!”

“Harry, you can’t fix it. You know this is how it goes.”

“This is how it goes?! Having her family blown up all over the media? She’s had such a fucking hard life, Ed. This isn’t fair. Maybe I shouldn’t put her through this anymore than I have to.”

“This isn’t your fault, Harry. Just keep calling her.”

And because even if he did hop on a flight and get to her as soon as possible, he wouldn’t make it in time, Harry sat down at his desk and continued to call her, hoping that eventually she would answer.

**

And across the Atlantic, Lexy had no idea what was happening at all.

There were two things that happened on April 10th that she wasn’t prepared for. And, unfortunately for her, she woke up too late to deal with either one of them.

She’d been up late finishing a paper and had avoided her phone all evening, even Harry. When she’d finally gone to bed, the sun had been about to come up, and Lexy was cursing every deity she could think of.

When her snooze went off for the third time, Lexy realized she was already eight minutes late for her German class. She threw her phone away from her, disregarding the three missed calls she had from Harry and the two from Chase, her sister’s husband. Lexy got dressed in a hurry, pulling on jeans and a hoodie and throwing her hair up into a bun without even brushing it.

If she’d taken a moment to slow down, she would have noticed Nicole warily watching her from her behind her laptop screen, already awake to finish her own essay. But Lexy threw on her favorite boots and hurried out the door, ready to break out into a run as soon as she reached the pavement.

But as soon as she did open the door, she was met with flash after flash.

“Lexy! Where is Prince Harry now?”

“Lexy! What do you think about your sister?”

“Lexy! Can you confirm that Harry will be asking you to marry him this year?”

Lexy squinted, waving through them the best she could. She was confused as to what the hell was going on and the clock was ticking. If she missed anymore class, she was going to get participation points off. So she broke off into a run, not thinking about how it would come off to the press, and paid no attention to all of those behind her.

But when Lexy reached her classroom, she received strange looks from every other person in the room, including her German professor. She tried her best to ignore them and fell into her normal seat, mumbling an apology about being late.

It wasn’t until they broke into partners to decipher a poem that Lexy had an opportunity to question what was going on.

“Why does everyone keep looking at me today?” Lexy asked in a low voice to her partner. She’d caught a girl who sat across from her staring at her at least six times already, and there was still ten minutes to go.

Lexy’s partner stared at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah? What’s going on?”

The girl huffed and pulled out her phone, doing something on it before shoving a twitter app in front of Lexy’s face. The number one trending topic was “Harry and Lexy.”

Lexy stared at it horror, then shock, and finally her mouth dropped open. How could she have been stupid? That’s who had been taking pictures of her. Lexy swallowed, trying to compose herself.

“Do you know when this came out?”

The girl shrugged. “I woke up to it. President Eisgruber has issued a statement about the reporters on campus. Check your email.”

Lexy wanted nothing other than to pull out her phone herself and make a call to Harry right then but she knew that that action really would cost her the participation points so she did her best to get her eyes from welling up and focused on as many conjugations as she could.

When class was finally over, Lexy finally pulled out her phone, ready to call Harry when he called her again. She accepted the call and put it up to her ear.

“Thank God you’ve answered! Lexy,” He said immediately. “I am so, so sorry. I’m trying to handle this the best I can but I can’t do anything about the American press.”

“It’s alright, I guess,” Lexy told him. She hadn’t gone outside just yet, being able to see what awaited her by looking out the window. There were at least twenty people littered around the building she was in. They could take all the pictures they wanted, but every building was locked, so they couldn’t reach her there.

“I tried to warn you this morning. I’ve called you nearly twenty times.”

“I woke up late. I was up doing a paper last night. I was late to class.”

“So that’s why you were running?” He questioned.

“Why I was running?” Lexy asked. Then she was horrified again, because she realized that there had been a video of her doing what looked like running away from the cameras. And then she felt awful because she knew she looked awful, and that meant that Harry would have seen her like that. “Oh God.”

She buried her face in one hand. “Where are you?”

“In my German building. I’m about to go to my room.”

“So you haven’t read anything yet?”

“No. Someone showed me that we were trending on twitter and the president of the university sent out an email about it but that’s it.”

“Don’t read anything until you get there. And don’t talk to anyone. Say absolutely nothing. Do you want me to stay on the phone until you get there?”

Lexy thought of how parasitic they had been when she hadn’t even known what was going on. “Harry, there’s no way I can’t say anything.”

“Lexy, don’t say a word. If you do, they have something to write. If you don’t, it’s not interesting. Look, I can pretend to be a friend or something, we’ll make something up.”

“What if I drop my phone? And they see your name?”

Harry sighed. “Please don’t do that. And Lexy, do not listen to a word they say, alright? And don’t panic when they do.”

Lexy thought his words were strange but decided not to comment as the entire situation was already weird enough. So she let Harry design a game plan for her and then decided she would walk to her room with music in, letting Harry off the hook with talking to her.

“Call me as soon as you get to your room,” Harry commanded. “Be careful. And Lexy, don’t say a word.”

“I won’t,” Lexy promised. Then she put her headphones in, turned the music as loud as it would go, and did her very best to ignore the shouting all around her and the hands waving in her face. When she finally made it back to her room, she was glad Nicole was not there, and dialed Harry’s number.

He picked up immediately. “Lexy?”

She started to cry. “Harry, what do I do? I have another class in an hour.”

“Listen to me, baby,” his own voice cracking as he called her the endearment. “I’ll figure this out, okay? You don’t have to worry.”

“How can I not? I have to leave! I didn’t ask for this,” she sobbed. “I want my mom.”

Harry had begun to realize that when Lexy cried for her mom, it was more of a defense mechanism, like he probably had done, in the beginning.

“I wish you had her, babe. I really do. I’m so sorry this is happening. You have no idea.”

Lexy tried to listen to him, she really did. But internally she was freaking out and then her persona kicked in and she wanted to know everything. “What did they say about me? Like what’s everyone talking about?”

“There isn’t any official proof that we’re together. We haven’t been seen in public and neither one of us have said anything. They only know because someone tipped off the media and from there they zeroed in on you.”

“Do you think it was one of my friends?” She asked him in horror at the thought.

“Most likely. The only people who know are my brother and Kate and my father. It could have been anyone though. Literally anyone. Someone could have just seen us together walking around campus and figured out who you were.”

Lexy groaned. “What should I do? What do I do?”

“Do you absolutely have to attend your next class?”

Lexy thought about it. It was a seminar, so they would notice that she wasn’t there. But maybe she could try emailing her professor, maybe just this once they would be understanding. Lexy was a good student, after all. She always attended office hours whenever she could.

“Maybe. I’ll email my professor and call you back,” she told him, already preparing to end the call.

“Lexy—“ Harry started to say.

“I’ll call you back,” she promised, though she herself wasn’t sure if she was actually promising it or not.

A few minutes later she read over the email one more time before sending it. She went over and looked at herself in the mirror, at how her jeans were a little too loose from not being washed, at how her hair was sticking up in her bun, at how there were bags under her eyes from her late nights.

She wondered exactly what the video of her running had looked like, and at how they were going to paint her. She’d always thought of herself as an averagely attractive person but she was sure the internet was bound to see her different. For the first time that day, Lexy’s fingers twitched to google herself.

When she finally did decide to call Harry back, another ten minutes had passed, and there still wasn’t word for her professor just yet.

“You didn’t tell me your sister had a felony,” Harry said in greeting when she picked up the phone.

Then, another first for the day, Lexy decided to get defensive. “I didn’t know I needed to. It’s not really information I give out to people.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about telling me. It’s public record. They know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your sister is in prison. I’m doing what I can but it’s not much.”

Lexy snapped, like a cord that had been pulled to its limit. She knew it was irrational. She knew it wasn’t Harry’s fault. But she was still done.

“Harry, I can’t. I’m done.”

“Lexy—“

“No. I mean it. I probably should have never let this go on as far as it has. It’s interrupting my school work. It’s fucking up my family. I can’t.”

“It’s not fucking up—“

“Think about Liza-Belle and Deacon, Harry. This is their mom.”

“I survived, didn’t I?”

And the anger boiled up in Lexy like a coke can that had been shook prior to opening. “Your mom never got arrested!” Harry was silent for a while. Lexy took a deep breath and tried to amend what she could. “It’s probably for the best. This will get rid of the media too.”

“Lexy, that’s not the problem. Nothing has been confirmed. They’ll still be there.”

“I’ll tell all my friends nothing is going on.”

“We don’t know who told them. It could have been anyone. Like I said it could have been someone who simply saw us together and let it slip.”

“I’m not waiting to find out.”

Harry took a deep breath and Lexy heard it through the phone. “What if I release a statement and tell people to back off?”

“Then they’ll know for sure! I think the best thing to do is to just stop. We’ll just forget about each other and eventually they will too.”

“Lexy. No.”

“Just don’t call or text me. I’ve got to go to class.”

“Lexy—“

But Lexy hung up on him and it was only a minute later, when she was walking out of the building with her music as loud as it would go and the press started hounding her, that Lexy realized what she had done.

But as the press started to talk to her again, she didn’t care.

She received an email before she was about to walk into her seminar from her professor, telling her that it was of course okay for her to stay out of class and to be safe. Lexy took the opportunity to call home.

Except she didn’t want to talk to Chase because she’d never liked him at all, and she couldn’t call Sara. So her only option was her father.

“Hello?” He said gruffly when he picked up the answer.

“Hey Dad, it’s me. What’s going on?”

“Your sister’s a fucking idiot is what’s going on!” He all but shouted. “She opened up a bank account in your momma’s name. They put her ass in jail. Probably where she belongs. Chase is still at work and I got all them kids here with me. They won’t shut up.”

Lexy closed her eyes, wishing that she was at home right then. They must be so confused. She thought of Deacon especially, and his plea for her to not return to school.

“Are they going to let her out?”

“This is the second time she’s fucked up. They put her bail at something like a hundred thousand.”

“A hundred thousand?!”

“Yeah. No one’s got that kind a money. This is her fault though. Maybe it’s a good thing. She’ll finally learn.”

“And what about the kids?”

“I got them now because Chase is at work.”

“Why aren’t they at school?”

“They didn’t go to school today. I don’t know why.”

Lexy sighed and tried to quickly think of what she could do but kept coming up blank. She wasn’t really sure what would make a difference or if she even could. She couldn’t withdraw from the semester at that point. She wouldn’t be able to take her exams or anything.

She finally hung up with her father as she made her way to her room, with a promise to immediately send him some money until he could figure out what to do. Those days her father still lived off of the remainder of what was left of her mother’s life insurance, which wasn’t enough to take care of the kids indefinitely.

Harry was the furthest thing from her mind until she saw the press again, crowded around her door like they were children waiting for Santa. Lexy wanted to tell them to fuck off but she remembered Harry’s words to not give them something to write about and did her best to ignore them, entering into her dorm and turning on the light.

She transferred money to her father’s account before calling the internship in Spain back, confirming that she’d be working with them for the summer. Then she hung up on them too and rested her head on her desk, counting down the hours until she would have to go to work.

As if she had been confused, there was one thing about the situation that did confirm something for her. And that was that her life was too fucked up for her to ever be with someone like Harry. At least she’d figured it out before they’d gotten too far in.

So Lexy did the only thing she had ever known to do, the only thing that had ever helped her escape. She pulled out her policy textbook and began to read, concentrating solely on the text in front of her.

[royalnightoutphff]

Your story is everything!!!!😍😍😍

Ahhh thank you so much for reading!!! <3 :) 

[royalnightoutphff]

Such a good chapter great work. And happy birthday x

Thank you so much!!! <3 

[royalnightoutphff]

Happy birthday Kandace!!! Omg you've helped me so much these past few months! Honest without you I would be lost but I'm grateful that I met you :) I hope you have an amazing day today, you deserve it!

Thank you so much Adriana!! And I’m so glad I’ve met you too! And you have my number/snap so honestly any time <3 

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Three

A/N: Here we gooo. Also, it's my birthday today, so any kind of feedback/comments would be lovely ;)

Lexy was having a great day. She’d talked up three times in her seminar, had finished all of her papers, and the kids at work were off school, so she didn’t have to go in. And then, to top her day off, Harry called her out of the blue, even though she still hadn’t answered his text.

“Hi love,” he said as she answered, opening her door and finding that Nicole was still gone. “I’m having a bit of a rough day.”

Lexy frowned, throwing her bag on the floor and laying across her bed. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nearly half past ten, but I was sitting here listening to the radio, something I never do, and then the broadcaster of some radio program I’ve never even heard of, starts talking about my mum. And normally I wouldn’t let it get to me, but sometimes it’s just so difficult that people legitimately think that my father had her killed.”

Lexy squinted at her world map in confusion. She had many questions for him: why was he listening to a radio program at 10pm? Why was this host talking about his mother? But she also felt that neither was appropriate, so she bit her tongue.

“I’m sorry, Haz. It isn’t fair. What did he say?”

“Just the usual. That it was all plotted. Which it wasn’t, by the way. They like to think my grandparents had something to do with it, but to tell you the truth, I think my grandfather liked my mother more than my father.”

“Do people actually think that?”

“Yeah. And I guess they forget that she actually died and that me and my brother were very much affected by it. I guess it’s easy to forget that we’re people too.”

It was the first time she’d heard Harry refer to William as just his brother and it made her wonder just how much he was affected after all. She’d died a week before his thirteenth birthday after all, and that was enough to scar him permanently.

“I think it’s easy to dehumanize people when you don’t know them. We see it all the time.”

“Mhm,” Harry muttered.

Lexy wasn’t sure what to say after that. She could tell he was upset but she wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. Of course, she’d helped her other friends when they were sad, but Harry was different, and she couldn’t help thinking that this was some kind of test to see if she could actually comfort him.

So she took a deep breath and let it out. “What do you miss most about your mom?”

And it was apparently the right thing to say, because Harry began talking as soon as she said it.

“Everything. I miss her voice, the way her laugh used to make everyone in the room smile. The way she would yell at me when I did something naughty, with the right look in her eyes that would let me know that I wasn’t in that much trouble and that she still loved me. She was away from home a lot, or William and I were away from home, and she would call often. You have no idea how long I’ve just been sat holding my phone, before I rang you. I can still remember her number.”

Lexy’s heart broke for him and his words and the way his voice broke in the end. Harry cleared his throat and began to speak again before she could.

“But mostly I miss just looking at her. She was so beautiful, Lexy. So beautiful. She was one of those people that you could just see the goodness radiating off of her. Pictures don’t do her justice.”

“You’re beautiful, Harry,” she told him. “Just like you’ve described. You have her blood flowing through your veins and her in your heart. I’ve never met a person as kind as you, as good as you, as wholesome as you.”

Harry tried to laugh but it sounded more like he was choking. Lexy wished she could be there to hold him, to let him know it was all going to be alright, like he had done for her so many times before. “You must not have met many people then.”

“I definitely have. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I wish I could go back in time and save her, so that you could have had a few more years with her.”

“Me too,” he whispered. He cleared his throat again. “Me too.”

“Why were you listening to that radio show anyway?” She asked, finally deciding he was okay enough for her to ask.

“I was bored again. I spent two weeks with you and I feel like I can’t do anything now that you’re not here.”

Lexy smiled. She missed him more than he knew. “I miss you too. But it’s almost the middle of April already and then I’ll see you in June.”

Harry groaned. “I have to go to church on Sunday. For Easter. I hate going to church.”

“Why?”

“I believe in God. I’ve told you this before. But while some people might turn towards religion when they go through things, I went the opposite route.”

“Oh no, I get you. I did too. It’s hard to feel like everything will be okay when it just won’t. And you know that it won’t, y’know?”

“Yeah. As if some thousand-year-old text is supposed to make me feel better.”

“Carrie always reads me bible verses when I tell her I’m sad.”

“As if I needed another reason to dislike Carrie.”

Lexy laughed lightly. “What are your plans for tonight?”

“I have work tomorrow. So, I’ll probably have a beer. Then sleep. Maybe I’ll wake up and go for a run tomorrow.”

“That’ll be good. Runs always make me feel better. And the weather must be getting nicer, yeah?”

Harry snorted. “I’m sorry, was it England you visited last year or the Bahamas?”

Lexy rolled her eyes. “I meant that it’s spring, Harry. And that the weather has to be getting better. Less cold, at least.”

“Well yeah, that does typically happen.” He sounded like he was going to say something sarcastic again but stopped himself. “Tell me a story,” he requested.

“What?” Lexy laughed, not understanding.

“Like a bedtime story. Tell me something.”

“I can’t just tell you a story. I need time to think about that.”

“Tell me about the best time you had with your mum.”

At first the request had her feeling like she would start feeling sad, but as she thought about it more and more, she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her cheeks. “Um, well, you know how my birthday is in January?”

“Yeah.”

“Well we never used to have money in January, so I would never get presents. But by the time my half birthday came along, my mom would get her summer bonus. So this one year, the year I turned fourteen, we went out to dinner at this Italian restaurant about an hour away from my house. And then when we got there, just me and my mom, she told me that it was all for me.”

“Where was Sara?” Harry interrupted.

“She was pregnant at that time, with Deacon. My mom really didn’t like it. She came around eventually, of course, but I can tell you I was her favorite child for a while.”

“Brilliant,” Harry laughed. “Continue.”

“Well, we got to this restaurant and she let me order this pasta I couldn’t pronounce. It was thirty dollars and I didn’t even end up liking it, but she let me do it anyway. Afterwards we got cupcakes and she bought me this journal. I still have it. It’s filled up now, but I still take it everywhere with me.”

“What does it look like?”

“It’s got this sort of archaic look on it. With a world map. And it has just the right kind of paper in it. It was forty dollars.”

Harry whistled at the price, even though Lexy knew that it wasn’t a big deal to him. She wished she could one day let him know how much she appreciated him.

“Did you celebrate this half-birthday thing every year?”

“Yeah. But I wouldn’t really call it a half birthday. We didn’t really celebrate my real birthday much. Like I said, January was always a tough month for us. I think it’s why I don’t mind spending it alone much. But the half birthday thing was really only between me and my mom, so I haven’t celebrated it since she died.

“We’ll celebrate it when you’re here,” Harry promised. “We’ll do something special.”

“We don’t have to. Just having you know is enough for me.”

“Oh no,” he joked. “You wouldn’t let me visit you on your birthday. You’re not getting out of this one.”

“You gave me a gift! That’s more than anyone in my family did!”

“Did you like it? I wasn’t sure if you would. I hadn’t seen you wear much jewelry but I wanted to get you something that would help you remember your mum.”

“I did. I wear it all the time.”

“You didn’t while we were at your house.”

Lexy loved that he’d noticed that, that he’d been able to pick up on such minute details about her. “I didn’t bring it with me because Sara has a habit of collecting all my things, and if Liza-Belle saw it, she would surely want it.”

“Good,” he said, but this time it was a little smugger, like he was happy that he had gotten her the right gift. “I think I’m going to sleep now. Good night, babe.”

“Good night, Harry.”

And as Lexy took out her notebook to read over her lecture notes, she couldn’t help how happy she was feeling that she was able to comfort Harry for once.

**

A week later found Lexy knee deep in assignments. It seemed as if the fact that the semester was drawing to an end meant nothing to her professors. She was perpetually tired no matter what time she woke up, and she finally found herself in the middle of writing one of her political science essays on gun control at three am.

“Nicole,” she said, causing the girl who was still awake, working on one of her own essays, to pull out one of her earbuds. “Do you know if glocks are classified as military grade weapons?”

“What the fuck is a glock?”

“I should call my uncle,” she muttered. “Do you think he’s awake?”

“Probably,” Nicole glanced at down at her phone. It was 3:36, and she grimaced. “Maybe he gets up really early?”

“Maybe,” Lexy agreed. But when she called her uncle and received no answer, she sighed. Then she tried again. She said something to Nicole but the girl didn’t hear her, already having put her headphones back in.

Then Lexy decided to call Harry.

“Lexy,” he greeted on the third ring. “Good morning.”

“Are glocks military grade weapons?” She responded in her own personal greeting.

“Uh…no? They lack an external safety which is an automatic disqualification and they have an awful trigger pull.” He was silent for just a moment. “Also, if your only weapon is a glock, something has gone horribly wrong…that’s a handgun. You wouldn’t want to be up against an assault rifle.”

“Hm,” Lexy muttered, writing all of his words down. She’d paraphrase it later, find sources to back it up. “And do you know what a Sig Sauer pistol is?”

“Yeah,” he told her, and then proceeded to correct her pronunciation. “Those were designed by the American military. It’s a combat pistol. Lexy, what is this for?”

“I’m writing an essay and my uncle didn’t answer. Also, don’t you like, have to go through a lot of training to even touch a gun in the military?”

“Loads. It takes weeks. Sometimes months. What’s your essay about?”

“Gun control. Isn’t it interesting how soldiers have to go through tons of training to even get to touch a weapon but any ordinary civilian can just go pick one up?”

“Yeah. Also, seeing what happens with guns…I don’t know why anyone would want to own an assault rifle. Personally, I mean.”

“I have a lot of respect for soldiers,” she continued, acting like he hadn’t spoken. She was on some sort of delirious high that only occurred in the early hours of the morning. “Like that’s a lot of work to just be able to wake up so early and to be so physically fit. Not to mention being away for so long and always being prepared for combat.”

“Yeah?”

Lexy remembered who she was talking to in that moment. She’d forgotten it was Harry, probably due to her lack of sleep. She’d forgotten he’d done his own service.

“Yeah. I think it’s incredible. I think you’re incredible for doing what you did. Even with the Invictus games and everything, it’s amazing. And I mean, your biceps are really nice too. Nicole said that, not me. But I don’t disagree.”

Harry laughed. “Thanks, love. Is this call a result of late night Lexy? Or did you just miss me?”

“Both,” she told him.

“You didn’t call me today. I was getting a bit worried. I expected you’d try and call while I was sleeping, wake me up.”

Lexy flipped her pen in the air. “I’ve been really busy with school. And then I had to write this essay and it’s really early so no one’s awake.”

“Right. Well, I have good news.”

“Did you get me Ed Sheeran concert tickets? He’ll be in London May first and second.”

Harry laughed. “No, I’m afraid not. Is that something you’d like though?”

“Um yeah!” She said it so loudly that Nicole looked over at her, annoyed. Lexy quieted down. “But honestly, Ana and I are probably going to go when he has his US leg of the tour. We’ve been saving up.”

“Hm,” he hummed. “Okay. But if you ever want me to try and pull in some favors, I could probably swing it.”

Lexy’s jaw dropped. She took a moment to see if she could understand what he was saying. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“That I could find a way to contact Ed Sheeran? Yeah.”

Lexy squealed and Nicole looked over at her, annoyed again. “Oh my God, Harry. You have to do that. I listened to his music so much when my mom died, you have no idea. I love him so much. It’s my dream in life to marry him.”

Harry started laughing. “You are so ridiculous. But no, my news is better.”

“You can’t possibly pretend that your news is better than Ed Sheeran.”

“I got you an internship. For the summer.”

“Definitely not better than Ed.”

“Oh come off it. You’ll be working for a member of parliament about twenty minutes away from my house.”

“Exciting,” she told him dryly. But then it set in that she would legitimately have a reason to visit him and be able to get paid and she smiled widely. “I love London. But does this mean I should pay you rent?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Harry, you can’t expect me to just stay there all summer for free.”

“I absolutely can. I know you’re a bit squeamish when it comes to commitment, but I’m serious about this relationship, so take that as you will.”

“I am not!” Lexy said defiantly.

“Please. You can’t be good at everything.”

“Half the time I still don’t think this is real. I feel like I’m going to wake up and just be back home in Tennessee and be alone forever.”

“Nah. You’ve got Ed.”

Lexy laughed so hard that Nicole finally grew fed up with her. Lexy sighed and apologized and then said her good-byes to Harry, promising to call him the next day.

**

Lexy had been on her computer typing away rapidly for approximately six minutes when she heard the familiar skype ring tone start up. She hadn’t realized that she’d kept the app open and felt herself start to get even more stressed as she hit the answer button and Harry’s face fit the screen.

“Hey, I was just about to go out for the night, so I thought I’d call you.”

Lexy frowned but nevertheless continued typing. “Go out? Where are you going?”

“Out with some friends. One of them recently got married and found out his wife is pregnant, so we’re celebrating.” Lexy nodded but continued typing furiously. “What are you doing?”

Lexy was about to answer when her phone rang beside her desk. She looked at the number on the screen, one she had saved the week she got it, and immediately picked it up.

“Bueno?” She answered. “Si, si, soy yo,” she glanced at Harry who was raising his eyebrows. Lexy shook her head at him and then began to talk in rapid Spanish.

She kept her eyes on Harry’s as she listened and nodded occasionally. Finally, when she hung up the phone, she smiled at him. She felt her stress level decrease quite a few levels.

“And who was that?”

“That was the law firm in Spain. I applied for it before you told me about the internship last night.”

Harry frowned. “Are you going to do it?”

“Probably not. But it’s nice to keep my options open, and it means a lot that they even accepted me.”

“Do you want to go to law school?” His frown hadn’t yet disappeared. “I feel like that’s something you should’ve told me.”

Lexy shrugged. “You never asked me about my future plans.”

“Yes I did. The first time when I showed you Buckingham, and we talked about how you wanted to be a teacher but you had bigger plans. Then, we talked about how you wanted to publish a book at some point.”

Lexy squinted at him. “You remembered that?”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course I remembered. But when did you decide to go to law school?”

“I mean, I haven’t yet. But it’s just something I’ve always kept as a possibility. Ideally I’d like to work with policy, I think. But something that I could combine working with kids.”

Harry grimaced. “You’ll be so much more educated than me.”

“Is that a problem?” What Lexy thought was going to be a simple conversation had turned into an awkward one, and she wished more than anything that Nicole would just happen to walk inside.

“No,” he cleared his throat. “You’re just already so smart, and I love that about you, but it just makes me feel a bit like I can’t keep up.”

Lexy frowned again. “It’s not like there’s not lots of stuff you know that I don’t. I mean, I know nothing about the military, for example. And you’ve started your own charity, and the Invictus Games. You also grew up in a way I didn’t. Having more education just means that I’ll be doing what I wanted. What I’ve always wanted.”

They stared at each other for a while. Finally, Harry nodded. “Alright, well I suppose you have work to do and I should finish getting ready.”

“Don’t make out with any random strangers,” Lexy warned him.

Harry chuckled and smiled at her. “I won’t.”

Lexy smiled. “Good. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it. Honestly, I might end up texting you tonight, so be prepared.”

Lexy saluted him and a few moments later they ended the call, Lexy trying to recount the conversation they’d had and wondering if something was starting to go wrong, and thinking that Harry, all the way across the Atlantic, was likely to be doing the same.