rubyperic-09 - Tumblr blog

[rubyperic-09]

Reblog... I'm 14

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

[rubyperic-09]

In Love

a/n: I wrote a whole ass novel about a year ago and I thought I'd release the first chapter to see if anyone likes it! let me know if you want me to release any more of it or if you have any feedback xoxo summary: idk, this is a preview to the whole book I guess but idk how to sum it up, anyone got any ideas? w/c: 1114 TW: vomit, mentions of alcohol usage, mentions of being drunk, mentions of bullying, hospital, mentions of mental breakdowns. let me know if I've missed anything xx

chapter 1

I wake up lying on the floor of my bedroom. I have no idea why I am there. The last thing I remember is throwing up in a plant pot and being brought home by Henry’s boyfriend Michael. I got drunk at a party last night. So drunk that I passed out and had to be dragged home. I only got drunk because I had a crap week and I wanted to forget about it. But obviously that didn’t work. I get up off the floor and put on a jumper. I have a pounding headache, but that does not stop me from struggling up the stairs and into Henry’s room. Michael was still here. I did not expect him to drive all the way home in the dark, but I also didn’t expect him to be sleeping in my brother’s bed while my parents were under the impression he was on the spare mattress on the floor.

I am Ivy Green. I have a brother named Henry, who came out to my parents around three months ago, but still hadn’t come out to me until about a week ago. Henry was my best friend for about three years. We did everything together. If there was another one of Lilly Scott’s stupid Halloween parties, we went together with corresponding costumes. Henry and I went to the same school for the entire of primary school, and majority of high school. But then we moved. I stayed in Brisbane, Queensland, for the rest of my eleventh year and lived with my girlfriend Lilly. While Henry moved with my parents to Melbourne, Victoria, and was home-schooled for the rest of year nine. This was not something my brother enjoyed, but he didn’t have much choice. It was either be home-schooled or be half a semester behind in his schooling. So, he obviously chose to home-school.

I moved back in with my family about a month ago, so it hasn’t really been that long. It was nothing like I had expected. I don’t know what I had expected but it wasn’t this. The city was so “small” compared to Brisbane, and I didn’t know anyone. In fact, I still barely know anyone. I barely even know my brother at this point. I always got the sense that something was different about my brother; Ever since he was little, he didn’t “fit in” with the other kids at school. He was always spending time with me because no-one in his year liked him very much. This did not turn out very well for my brother. For majority of Henry’s first high school year, he was bullied for hanging out with me. He was always getting into fights and picked last in groups at school, but he knew how to defend himself. Or at least I thought he did.

Last year when we were in Brisbane my mum got a call from the school. She unsuspectingly answered the phone with a happy look on her face, but that changed very quickly. Her expression darkened and her voiced changed from, cheerful to serious and worried. In a matter of seconds, she had dragged me out to the car grabbed a whole lot of random things including, my brother’s favorite book, my laptop, her laptop, a bunch of important paperwork, her phone, and a group of other things you might need to keep yourself sane. She was on the phone to my father at the same time as driving. I had no idea what she was saying, but she sounded worried, which doesn’t happen very often, and that made me worried.

My brother had gotten into a fight with some of the year eleven boys in my class. They were teasing him for hanging out with my friend Lilly and saw the perfect opportunity to hurt someone and they took it. My brother fought back until he was hit in the head with a book and passed out. He would have been fine… If he hadn’t fallen directly into the garden fence. He still has the scars to prove it, but I can’t help thinking that it was all my fault. He is fine now, but he couldn’t breathe properly for months and that’s when my parents decided to move us across the country. We had spent over two hours in the waiting room of that hospital; My brother spent around three weeks in there though, and didn’t go back to school for another couple of months after that. He didn’t go back to school until he was in Melbourne. And even then, he still hadn’t gone back to school. He had just been schooling at home.

Getting back home after nine months was weird. I felt like I’d barely even met the kid I was best friends with. I had felt like a complete outsider in my own home. It didn’t feel like home for about two weeks. But something had changed about my brother’s relationship with my dad. They were always in arguments about stupid unimportant things. Such as whether or not Michael was allowed to sleepover, or if he was allowed to go over to Michael’s, or if he was allowed to go out with his “friend”, things that I had thought were silly because my dad had let me do all the same things with my friends at his age, but something had changed about the way they saw each other, like they didn’t see eye to eye anymore.

My brother had multiple mental breakdowns the week he came out to me. He was at Michael’s a lot and stopped asking my dad if he could go before leaving, he just said, I am going to Michael’s, and you’re not going to stop me, before walking out the door and slamming it shut behind him. I had no idea why my dad got so mad at him for wanting to hang out with a friend. I was completely clueless and had no idea why this was happening, but it all makes sense now. Michael wasn’t just my brother’s best friend; he was his boyfriend. And I had no idea he was gay.

For like 5 years I just thought he was a nerd, but he said he has always known and was simply confused, but that it all made sense to him now. He didn’t want to have to lie to people and pretend he was someone he wasn’t, just because he feared what people would say or do to him. It was only a matter of seconds before I hugged him and told him I will always love him, but he has still been avoiding me since.

a/n: this whole book is based in Australia and uses Australian spelling and grammar because that's where I grew up and currently live, so it's easier for me to base things on environment wise... also, tis was written in my heartstopper era and is probably got somewhat of a similar story line at the beginning of the book, the book does develop later though xoxo -💎

[rubyperic-09]

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

please, please and please.

[rubyperic-09]

To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

-PLEASE REBLOG THIS YOU MAYBE ARE SAVING SOMEONES LIFE

You are special and amazing , If you need to talk or some help send me a dm and I will talk to you.

[rubyperic-09]

yo, people are people treat hem as such!!! no one should be pushed out of a fandom because of their race, they're still normal people and shouldn't be labelled as anything different!!

love you all xx

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

[rubyperic-09]

gay is in fact the gender that i want people to percieve me as

[rubyperic-09]

Y'all are amazing. Reblog to hug the person you’re reblogging from.

[rubyperic-09]

PLEASE DON"T BUY THESE PLANTS!! keep the bees alive, we need them!!!

Saw this on Facebook. Reposting for the PSA.

[rubyperic-09]

fr!!!! please someone write a Nicolas Sturniolo fanfic!!! (no smut tho)

guys i got so desperate for nick fics that i went to wattpad … i cant bro never again these ads are pissing me tf off

[rubyperic-09]

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

[rubyperic-09]

I'd care if the person I reblogged this from committed suicide.

Reblog this from anybody. literally. ANYBODY. even if you dont like them or even know them that well. YOU COULD SAVE THEIR LIFE.

[rubyperic-09]

no one: me trying to find fanfics from Nick's perspective and only getting smut filled matt and chris fanfics: where are my happy, fun Nick fanfics?!! people where you at?

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

[rubyperic-09]

i refuse to believe this is made of wood!!!!!!!!!!!

Before and after staining the wood:

Source

[rubyperic-09]

guys, if you need help, reach out! DM me pls. i'm here for you.

within just five minutes there have been 7 more suicides. you are loved, please reach out. i care about you.

(because of time zones i might reply late, but i will reply and het back to ASAP if you message me.) Love y'all, stay safe. xoxo

[rubyperic-09]

does anybody else just get random spike of anxiety that just stop them from being able to focus on anything because you are on high alert? I have an assignment due as of 4 days ago that i haven't finished because the stress of finishing it is stopping me from being able to finish it and email teacher about an extension. so, i just haven't even tried to do it.

[rubyperic-09]

It was a shitshow of a day. I went to the pool with my family, which was mainly fine. But i kept getting in trouble for having headphones on in the car. Like, mind you, i am blocking you and shit out so i don't fucking die! ...Anyway, I literally got yelled at for taking more than five minutes to stack the dishwasher. I am partway through the fanfic 'I looked into myself like a case with you.' by @bandteeshirts (ihavetoomuchfreetime). It dives further into Nick's past trauma and stuff, and it made me realize how much i relate to him, and how shit his past experience is. Like, he has divorced parents, a dad who barely tries and overdoes it when he makes an effort, only referencing the things from younger childhood; He has an asshole of a brother who is homophobic as fuck, his buttons are easy to push and all generally lead to the same result😭💔. he is protective of people he loves, he is quite an anxious person, and he gets made fun of for being queer in an environment that doesn't generally accept LGBT+ people🏳‍🌈😭💔🥺, but he has found his people that accept him in that group.❤

Yes, i am aware that this is just the circumstances in this particular fanfic, but it is pretty dang similar to my life, mine just has Charlie's mental health issues and his mother. I love this fanfic and strongly advise reading it, and the fanfic that leads up to it 'i bent at the waist and bawled for you', on Archive of our own. all credits go to @bandteeshirts (ihavetoomuchfreetime) (Ao3) @yesterdaysteeshirts (tumblr). ❤❤

I was feeling depresso espresso💔, so i put on sad music and have just sat in an anxiety bubble for the last 4 hours. LMAO pretty much my life story anyway😭. I'm singing at this tomorrow, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and my voice us gradually leaving my throat 😬. Oh Well, can't always be amazing to the outside world. Also, I broke up with my girlfriend because she was about as crazy as they come, like double darcy, but she can be annoyingly snidey about academics and you can never be good enough for her 🙄, so ...I broke up with her, but i made sure she didn't feel too bad about herself 🙃, just basically told her i didn't like her like that (we are only in year 8 btw). Oh well, i guess she just isn't who i thought she was. 😔💔

Love you all, enjoy your week/month/year/life, i guess. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ You're all worth everything!! believe in yourselves and put effort into things you love.

bye👋💗

[rubyperic-09]

Hey! BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. 💞💕

Thanks lovely!! <3