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as much as i love angst i do also adore familial league of assassins shit, and since i keep seeing them on my tiktok fyp i cant stop thinking about those videos of idiot teenagers in military training being. teenagers. and thinking of jason and damian. just those two having weird little gimmicks and traditions that confuse the absolute fuck out of the rest of the family from their time at the league.

damian will refer to grapes as ‘assassination implements’ because of that time jason tried to throw one at him, missed, hit ra’s in the back of the head, and to avoid getting out of trouble gaslit him into believing it must have been some kind of dart that hit him from a coup attempt. ra’s went into lockdown and had the entire base searched and jason’s been lying about it for a year, nodding along whenever ra’s brings up the ‘irritating failure that escaped capture’.

nanda parbat had a specific bar that a lot of the assassins would go to when off-duty for a break, but damian wasn’t allowed because talia said he was too young so jason and a couple other loa workers dressed him up in fake facial hair and convinced the bartender he was just a really short old guy to get him in, and since then whenever they talk about something damian’s done that he wasn’t supposed to do they say it was ‘old man brutus’ that did it. bruce has no idea who the fuck brutus is or why two of his sons find his existence so amusing.

whenever the assassins were fucking around on loa grounds they would have a specific low-down gravely tone of voice that when any of them saw talia or ra’s approach, they would use to warn the rest of the group by saying ‘al ghul’ in that tone to indicate everyone had to straighten up and act like they were training. damian can copy that tone perfectly, and will use that voice when saying non-sensical words like ‘ooby-dooby’ and ‘birch tree’ because the tone makes jason instinctively straight up and whirl around like a soldier hearing the word ‘sergeant’. it works every fucking time.

one of damian’s tutors and jason’s mission colleague hated coconut milk with a fucking passion and would rant about it every time it was brought up in conversation. a lot of the guys would take bets on how long she could go talking about it and then purposely brought it up to set her off as a game. every time anyone around the loa base was seen with coconut milk somebody would respond ‘what would eden say if she saw you with that?’. tim dick and bruce do not know who eden is or why they hate coconut milk and at this point they’re too scared to ask.

all im saying is the loa becomes much funnier if we consider it just to be a very strict assassin boarding school that jason attended and damian grew up in.

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you know a fic is good when it has this

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jason is the most wattpad y/n ever bc he ties his platinum blonde locks into a messy bun and he stares at ppl with his electric icy blue orbs and gets sold to wolves by his mom

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call me percy jackson because i’m on a dangerous and scary quest to get recommendation letters 💔

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i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

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Mr Gaiman what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I think the ritual of stabbing Julius Caesar on the Ides of March is an important Tumblr tradition that needs to be maintained for coming generations.

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“is Crowley gay coded?” fuck no, there's a huge difference

Aziraphale is gay as in so homo he makes Ancient Greeks look straight, gay as in sees angelhood like it's the only gender worth being and loving, gay as in this fucker has probably made out with Oscar Wilde at some point and inspired that bloody nightingale story when they broke up, gay as in the gay that binary cisgender people whinge about aspiring to be whenever they're annoyed with the other gender, it's right there in the book

Crowley is queer as in trans, genderfluid, non-binary, lovequeer, genderqueer, doesn't belong anywhere, queer as in fuck you, so queer he probably encouraged humans to invent neopronouns for kicks, so queer it makes Aziraphale look straight, queer as in great mangled pustulent bollocks to the essentialists, queer as in shapeshifting into literally any form he likes even if it's a ball of energy or a winged snake with the head of a pissed off piranha or a ginger David Tennant with a drunken supermodel walk

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Idc if you kill off ANYONE in season three.. BUT PLEEEAAASEEE tell me Crowley and Aziraphale stay ALIVE at LEAST 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

They fall down a big hole in the first couple of minutes of the season, and are never seen again. The new chinchilla-heavy cast will be great, though. Don't worry.

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"Well perhaps you could tell me...while we dance."

701 frames, 542 artists, 3 months, all collaborating on 1 animation. Here is the result.

@neil-gaiman @goodomensonprime

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Time for the traditional role swap uh 👀

David!Aziraphale and Michael!Crowley

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Tis but thy name that is my enemy.

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Reasons to live

1. To live until we get to see aziraphale do the "i'm sorry dance" and kissing crowley because of what he did to crowley in season 2 was heart breaking

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YES I LOVE THIS

So I no longer believe the "Crowley is Raphael" theory has anything to do with canon

I do now believe that Crowley is Lucifer

"But," you say "Lucifer is Satan... and we've SEEN Satan. Crowley can't ALSO be Satan"

And you're right! He can't! And that's fine because Lucifer is NOT Satan!

At least not in the Bible

See, you can blame Paradise Lost for this one. That is the first place that equates Lucifer to Satan and that is notably not in the bible! The whole POINT of Paradise Lost is to humanize Satan in some way so giving him an "angelic" name makes perfect sense. Lucifer IS referred to in the bible as a fallen angel (or maybe king?) but never directly referred to as Satan. So it makes sense to use that name, but it does NOT mean that Lucifer and Satan have to be the same figure

So. Lucifer, the "Lightbringer" the "morning star." If you take that, and then combine it with the fact that Crowley did a LOT of big important bible things, AND is now being implied to be a HUGELY powerful angel

Then I think. Crowley is Lucifer

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soft demon sad demon 💔

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i thought that my dad dying was the last time i would be betrayed by a man named neil, but mr. gaiman has proved me wrong in the worst way possible

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Dang it guys

we only ever talked about HALF of why these scenes were a big deal, like I just realized this today and my heart is going insane.

It’s not just that Crowley’s pissed at Gabriel for treating who he thinks as Aziraphale this way, the last thing he says to the people about to kill him is a benign and peaceful wish to see them again.

And like- this is Crowley trying to replicate Aziraphale to a T. So he legitimately just sees him as this endless well of compassion, someone who is always warm and accepting. It’s not just their friendship throughout the years, he remembers Aziraphale’s kindness on the Eastern Gate. When the angel had absolutely no reason to trust this random demon who just slithered up next to him. Crowley knows that he’s loved. Maybe not like that quite yet (although he’d be very wrong), but he knows that around his friend he’s always welcome and safe.

And Aziraphale?

Well he just thinks Crowley’s the coolest fucker alive, like he is laying it in THICK and enjoying every second. Listen to that charisma, look at that smirk. These are traits that are typically only appreciated in the context of how good it makes Crowley at tempting, a job he hates. But Aziraphale doesn’t see someone manipulative or regard this persona as signs of his “demonic nature”, he just sees Crowley. Someone charming, fun loving, and cute.

This is when we get to know precisely why they love each other, what exactly they see in the other.