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the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

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love when a mother asks if they have ever done anything to hurt you. ma'am, you will literally never be ready to have this conversation

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i'm trying to flirt with this noblewoman but she keeps asking me to demonstrate my flawless sword technique and i don't think she realizes how much effort i'm putting in to make my tits bounce while doing so

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convincing this wandering swordmaster (loser, woman) to keep demonstrating her flawless technique to cleave a man from his life for me because her tits bounce really lewdly whenever she does it and she hasn't noticed yet

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museums should be open till like midnight, i don't want to go to the club i want to go look at art or fossils.

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my cat's post-vet-visit dramatics are always very shortlived

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mischievous puppy

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i hate you summer i hate you heat i hate you sweating i hate you burning sun i hate you warm weather i hate you climate change

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just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

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would you let him spin around

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the part that scares me most about the supernatural fandom is when they need a certain gif to add to a post they know exactly where to find it or know exactly what episode of any of the nine whole seasons to make one

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baby need smoko

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as soon as i learn to stop being ashamed of taking up space it's over for you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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behold. lord foog the 2st in plushie form