s-l-0-w-l-y - Tumblr blog

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Every time my car breaks I go from fake-homeless to semi-normal-homeless for a week which is kind of wild. Got a fucking shower tho.

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His hand on my leg while he sleeps makes me want to cry

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Obviously being on team status quo is more than just thinking money and guns should or shouldn’t exist, and also entails like the degree to which a person naturalized and goes to bat for different logics and norms around like how we think and behave fundamentally. I think it’s not true that the overlap between how we think and what we think is insignificant. I think the content of our experience is almost indistinguishable from the patterns of how we experience it.

Anyway like the nature of writing words on the internet is that things happen in real life and they are referenced in this space, that’s like a part of the thing and I’ve got nothing to say about it. But the thing where everything that happens in life is boiled down to the equivalent of a persons personal brand campaign is like miserable and a very normal expression of the status quo in itself. Some instances of this happening don’t hurt so bad, but when real life people take their life, whether it’s suicide by cop, or self immolation, especially when they die to express some kind of cage rattling, I can’t sympathize with or forgive the fucking brutality of reacting to that with a thumbs up or thumbs down. At what point do you give yourself over to real life with real living things and allow yourself to be moved by it, instead of picking up every little scrap that’s left of the non digital world and using it to build a coherent brand for yourself.

I would also like to say that every time someone sends me any crimethinc article about anything, I take psychic damage and write blog posts so it’s in everyone’s best interest to not.

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My phone autocorrects Bitch to Butch every single time and is giving everyone in my life an incorrect impression of how much motor oil I have in my lungs.

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My updates are that I bought a 2007 Prius and am living in it now, I’m tabling a bookfair and doing a screening there in May, progesterone saved my life, I’m recording a 30 minute album, and I just cried at work but this gig ends on March 17th and I’ll be a free bitch again

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The difference between being car-homeless and traveling and being car-homeless and not traveling is enormous. Making connections with people that span over time so there’s trust and things like that means I kind of have a place to crash more often than I don’t. I love it, I just pet sit everyone’s dogs while all my employed friends are at work.

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Also too like, coyotes tend to split up and breed more when they’re in danger, like if a local population is being threatened they’ll instinctually split tend towards breeding. And normally wolves don’t really inbreed much, like they’ll kind of attempt to enforce a situation where only the breeding pair will breed in a pack. I wonder if the line blurring between coyotes and red wolves for example could help maintain red wolf populations, like if red wolves were to take on coyote breeding practices.

It’s different but reminding me of the classification of polar bears, who, because of temperature changes/ environment changes, are getting thinner like overall, relying on smaller fat reserves for longer periods of time during seasonal periods of not hunting, and if I remember right, their denning habits are changing, among other habits, and leading to instances of breeding with brown bears. The definition of “polar bear” might start to blur as well if what we recognize as a polar bear is a different shape and weight and has different seasonal dwelling habits and also is the offspring of a polar bear and a brown bear.

It’s not controversial to say that taxonomy is a model of reality, not reality itself (frog doesn’t know what a “frog” is), but like specifically it’s a political model because depending on how you’re classifying segments of water in this particular river, different environmental law applies. Similar to taxonomy, and unlike nature, laws attempt to set in stone rules of reality. But reality moves.

wolves in eastern USA are a really bizarre case actually because. okay, so, we have coyotes right? they're everywhere. And supposedly wolves haven't been in the eastern USA for a long time.

however. I'm on inaturalist and gray wolves have presence in many areas across the globe, whereas coyotes are restricted to North America. And iNaturalist maps largely corroborate this

However. if you just pull up coyote observations you'll see a huge variety of animals with a great range of sizes and appearances. Which is like, okay, wolves are still way bigger, the people ID-ing the photos must know what they're talking about

HOWEVER. look at observations of gray wolves, specifically in Eurasia, (where there is no overlap with coyotes) and you'll see animals that make you think. That's a Coyote. The size and shape is fully indistinguishable from the coyotes you were just looking at. BUT IT CAN'T BE A COYOTE. 'CAUSE IT'S IN POLAND.

So basically what's happening is that all photos taken in an area of the USA where wolf presence isn't officially documented are confidently identified "coyote" no matter what even if they can't actually be distinguished by a low quality photo

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Of course I’m not sad idiot

Fucking moron

Life is a miracle

The world is a beautiful symphony of wonders

Dumbass

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Trying to figure out if people would call it ecofascism to celebrate the orca insurrection if it was happening in 2020

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The war on bummers begins now

No bummer summer begins NOW

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It’s about to be the 9/11 of bummers

No bummer summer begins NOW

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No bummer summer begins NOW

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I officially have no more partners to do breakups with so I assume life is about to get really easy

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Updates from the car-homeless tranny front lines. C and I made noodles and vegetables at the beach. I feel some frustration sometimes that my friends here want to live in a part of the country I can’t afford to live in. I miss my dog friend, i miss my cats on the other coast, I miss lots of people. Feeling like I can live with stuff like this, though. I’m not keeping myself up at night about it lately which is nice. Just sort of living with a manageable level of longing.

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God I have to say tho, it’s so much easier for me to be car homeless in a bullshit wealthy small city where people sort of don’t see you coming. Last night I grilled a fancy steak I got for free next to my car in the boat rental parking lot and the spectacle of it all is actually really beautiful.

Overall I’m doing better now that I’m not living in a rural area almost totally alone with my ex. Like living in my car and being near friends is obviously an improvement. I will say, I wake up some mornings and my acute heartbreak is back and I can get through it and accept living with some sadness, but there’s no doubt that it’s more difficult to get through when I have to deal with strangers who are angry that I’m half-homeless in their neighborhood and today I’m really struggling not to blow up my spot and go ape shit.

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Overall I’m doing better now that I’m not living in a rural area almost totally alone with my ex. Like living in my car and being near friends is obviously an improvement. I will say, I wake up some mornings and my acute heartbreak is back and I can get through it and accept living with some sadness, but there’s no doubt that it’s more difficult to get through when I have to deal with strangers who are angry that I’m half-homeless in their neighborhood and today I’m really struggling not to blow up my spot and go ape shit.

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Doing “anarchist video” series stuff again, this time uploading all episodes so people can screen it hemselves for their house, infoshop, whatever. Episode 1 has a short based on the zine “black skin black masks” and a longer 40 minute piece that I think is extremely important to the world of anarchist video.