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Bonus:

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you need a very high IQ to understand Riverdale

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Tuning into Riverdale each week knowing it’s overdramatized teenage trash

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Lili Reinhart + who she was most starstruck by at the Met Gala.

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A couple that shitposts together…

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The ENTIRE fandom in response to Harts Instagram caption…

[sabrinaspellwoman]

Let me drop some truthgasms on all of you with the Riverdale conspiracy theory to end all Riverdale conspiracy theories. 

Trevor Stines, who played Jason Blossom, basically confirmed that 3.04 is going to be the parent flashback ep with the RD students playing their parents, by first retweeting from the writer that there was going to be a parent flashback episode coming soon, and then retweeted the script cover for 3.04 saying “I have a feeling this is going to be a good one,” leaving it to reason that he’s excited because he’s coming back to play Clifford.

The cover image shows the Archie gang posing like the cover of the 1985 movie The Breakfast Club, making it reasonable to believe that this is the flashback episode about the parents given the time period. 

In the picture, comic Jughead is seen wearing a Letterman jacket. One of the writers, Brian Paterson, tweeted “A Jones in a varsity jacket?” emphasizing how strange it is to see Jughead in this attire, depicted as the cool jock from the Breakfast Club. This suggests that this is actually FP as a teenager and NOT Jughead, and therefore that all of the comic Archie gang in this picture is representing the parents of the character. Jughead is actually FP, Kevin is actually Sheriff Keller, Veronica is actually Hermione, Archie is actually Fred, and Reggie is actually Ricky Mantle.

This isn’t my conspiracy theory, though. These are just mostly facts. Here is where you will be shook…

In the Instagram tags for the cover, RAS has tagged the actors to the images representative of their character’s parents. Cole tagged for Jughead/FP, Camila tagged for Veronica/Hermione, etc. 

Charles Melton is tagged for Reggie, of course, but directly above it hovering right over the face of comic book Reggie is a tag for Jordan Connor aka Sweet Pea. Jordan’s tag is admittedly pointing towards the show logo, but it’s noticeably covering Reggie’s face and Sweet Pea has NOTHING to do with the theme of this picture at ALL. His tag is completely out of place with the rest of them.

Unless, of course, Jordan/Sweet Pea is tagged where he belongs, because Reggie and Sweet Pea are brothers who share the same father.

As a little add-on to this theory, I want to note that in at least one comic, Reggie has a brother named Oliver Mantle. Here’s an interesting factoid I took from Wikipedia, possibly relevant knowing the old school pure nerd that RAS is and how he loves his little easter eggs:

Swee'Pea (alternatively spelled Swee'pea and Sweapea on some titles and once called Sweep Pea) is a character in E. C. Segar’s comic strip Thimble Theatre/Popeye and in the cartoon series derived from it. His name refers to the flower known as the sweet pea. Before his addition to the animated shorts, the name “Sweet Pea” was a term of affection used by main character Popeye. In the cartoon We Aim to Please, he addressed girlfriend Olive Oyl that way.

It’s possible I’m reaching too hard with that last part, but the rest of it seems pretty fucking concrete to me. Sweet Pea and Reggie are at least half brothers. Maybe they don’t know it yet, but if they do know it, it explains small things that you didn’t think needed explaining like:

1) Why Reggie randomly accused Sweet Pea of sleeping with Midge out of every other Serpent in the room as if he knows the kid.

2) Why he looked so especially pissed when SP mowed him down at basketball tryouts.

3) The way he said “you have crap timing, bro” when the Serpents led by Sweet Pea arrived at Archie’s doorstep. Reggie is a total dudebro and admittedly the “bro” here could’ve just been his usual vocabulary, but the most meaningful thing that these two being siblings would explain IF it’s something he already knows is…

4) His hatred of the South Siders and the Serpents in particular. This can be explained as typical smug popular rich boy jock elitism, which is what I pretty much assumed to be the case, but what if he doesn’t want his father’s mistake anywhere near his school? Because every time he sees Sweet Pea he’s reminded of something he’d rather not think about it.

Or, neither Sweet Pea or Reggie are aware of their familial link and it’ll be revealed to them on the show at the same time it’s revealed to the audience.

Either way, I’m mostly sold that these characters are linked and we’re going to find out very early in season 3.

[sabrinaspellwoman]

Promise Ring - 1 - the meet cute (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/mCj5d14RxN

he was ready to give her everything until he told her he might have an std from ONE drunken night, ONE week before they started dating. will she be the ONE to love him enough to let everything go? R (for mature themes and bad words) Copyright © 2018 All Rights Reserved. fireflyserenityy

[sabrinaspellwoman]

🚨This is a Red Alert for net neutrality 🚨

Last December, the FCC voted to to kill net neutrality. If we do not take action, this will kill the free and open internet as we know it. The internet needs you—all of you—to make sure your voices are heard NOW.

We need all hands on deck for this one. It may be our last chance. If you’re feeling under-informed and overwhelmed about why net neutrality is so incredibly important, we have this handy guide just for you.

Here’s what you can do to save the internet:

In mid-May, the Senate will vote on a resolution to overrule the FCC using the Congressional Review Act (CRA). We only need one more vote in the Senate to win. Write or call your Senators or Representatives. You can also text BATTLE to 384-387 to get more information on how to write to your reps. You can do this, Tumblr.

Join us and dozens of your other favorite companies like Etsy, Vimeo, Reddit, and GitHub to raise awareness with the Red Alert campaign being run by Battle for the Net. Just add this small widget to your Tumblr to let your followers know how they can contact their reps. It’s as easy as copying and pasting the small line of code right into the customize theme page on the web.

This is important. This matters. It’s up to you to help. 

[sabrinaspellwoman]

What is happening?! 😂

[sabrinaspellwoman]

here’s to our first full year of (riverdale) bughead!!

[sabrinaspellwoman]

me: but snakes do shed their skin and you would know that if you paid attention in school but your to caught up in the drama to care.

me: hey j-

jughead: excusE ME. thE SERPENTS ARE MY FAMILY 🐍🐍 SOUTHSIDE LOYALTY COURSES THROUGH MY VEINS 💉💉 SNAKES DONT SHED THEIR SKIN 🙅🏻‍♂️🙅🏻‍♂️

[sabrinaspellwoman]

This needed to be here. We are all fans of something. Let’s not forget that.

[sabrinaspellwoman]

betty cooper. some things.

age 7.

mud stains on her pink dress. hair bleached white blonde by the sun. scratches on her arm from trying to pet the feral cats. picky eater. loves climbing trees. always wants another story at bedtime. eats lucky charms for breakfast. steals polly’s headbands. helps mom cook dinner. helps dad fix cars. good at helping. challenges archie to races as they walk to school. makes faces in the mirror at ballet class. puts a bug in cheryl blossom’s hair at recess, ‘cause she can’t just be mean to people whenever she wants. plays patty cake with jughead during morning announcements. crawls into mom and dad’s bed when she can’t sleep. grass stains on all her clothes. cries when mom washes them out. doesn’t want to be a proper young lady, whatever that is. picks out the four leaf clovers on the playground. wants to be a vet when she grows up. wishes on shooting stars.

age 9.

reads every nancy drew book ever written. starts wearing her hair in a ponytail. carries a magnifying glass around in her backpack, just in case. shares her food with jughead at lunch. grease stains on her forehead. pink nail polish that never chips. pristine white keds. the first one to raise her hand in class. brings funfetti cupcakes to the bake sale. always beats archie and jug at candy poker. volunteers at the nursing home. volunteers at the animal shelter. volunteers at parent-teacher night. cries when mom hisses that her behavior is not becoming of a young lady, really, Elizabeth. listens to polly’s secret britney spears cd at night. writes her name in glitter pen. wears pink, plastic eyeglasses. spends hours double checking her math homework. plays the virgin mary in the annual riverdale nativity scene. wears rainbow earrings. rescues worms from the driveway when it rains. shiny scrapes on her elbows. only allowed dessert once a week. calories matter, dear, we wouldn’t want you to look like that muggs girl, now would we?

age 11.

bites her lip. double knots her shoelaces. never forgets to wear sunscreen. keeps the secret when polly steals a flask of vodka from their parents. goes to the double feature at the twilight drive-in every friday night with kevin. starts a diary. bakes cookies with her mother’s floral apron gaping on her chest. blushes with pride when jughead eats eight. walks the neighborhood dogs for pocket money. sings along to taylor swift in her room. writes her essays weeks in advance. claps a pillow over her head when polly and her mother get into screaming matches. wears a hideous, floppy hat when she gardens. writes nancy drew fanfiction. rolls her eyes when alice isn’t looking. spends hours in the tree house with archie, eating wheat thins and talking about the future. perfect manners. looks in the mirror and thinks not pretty enough. not smart enough. not quite enough.

age 13.

digs her fingernails into the thin skin of her palm for the first time and revels at the sharp, clear sting. loses the race for student council president to reggie mantle. bakes jughead cupcakes for his birthday. refuses to eat any. trades out the glasses for contacts. worries at the zit on her chin. hates puberty. wakes up in the middle of the night when polly sneaks back into the house. falls into brief, intense obsessions. with books, with music, with movies. doesn’t tell anyone. perfectly slicked back ponytail. monogrammed backpack. pink lipgloss. makes color-coded study guides. avoids her reflection in the bathroom mirror. blushes hotly when she sees archie shirtless through the window. still calls jughead juggie. listens to riot grrrl music when her mother is gone. finds condoms and slips of paper with phone numbers in polly’s bottom drawer. wears white, fuzzy earmuffs in the winter. closet filled with pastels. counts calories in the little notebook alice bought. wants something more out of life. doesn’t know quite what.

age 15.

feels something change in riverdale, a dark undertow lingering behind the picture-perfect surface. something strong enough to get washed away in. three earrings in each lobe- gold, silver, bronze. soft pink lipstick. hair darkening into brown at the roots. balances her schedule on the hair-thin blade of a knife. knits lumpy, handmade scarves. misses polly with a sharp, constant ache. wonders at the glamorous enigma of veronica lodge. gets turned down by archie and feels the rejection like a blow to the head- the overwhelming crack quickly giving way into numbness. throws herself headfirst into the mystery of jason blossom. falls into ride or die friendship with veronica like they’ve known one another all their lives. looks at chuck clayton and sees nothing but her own fear. tutors middle schoolers every tuesday. organizes the charity breakfast for teacher appreciation day. takes four ap classes. feels something flutter in her stomach when jughead smiles at her. fights with her mother. solves a murder case. smiles at her reflection. kisses jughead jones with her mouth open and mind running a thousand miles an hour and thinks oh. this is what i’ve been missing.

age 17.

wears red lipstick on prom night. graduates valedictorian. splits her time between north and south side. still volunteers more often than anyone else in riverdale. hums along with the car radio. still sometimes flinches at the ringing of the phone. buys the best birthday presents. teams up with toni to outlaw the serpent dance. doesn’t cry when her parents announce their divorce. gets accepted to columbia. goes to the library every saturday. drinks vanilla milkshakes without worrying about the sugar content. loves jughead jones with every bone in her body. tattoo on her right hip. hair loose around her shoulders. grin on her face. helps veronica throw the most elaborate graduation party riverdale’s ever seen. sets up toni and cheryl on a blind date. visits polly every weekend. goes to therapy. watches as the half moons on her palms turn silvery-white, scarred over and still-healing. lets go of perfection. holds on to better things.

[sabrinaspellwoman]

Literally a married couple with their awkward children

[sabrinaspellwoman]

Cheryl Blossom | Nicknames