saddesklunch - Tumblr blog

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Local Goblin Babby Annoys Grandmother

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Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired-police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, “damn, we’re out of decaf” and he just deadpans “well there’s no need to get hysterical.”

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WHAT?

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Martin Luther criticizes the Catholic Church (1517, colorized)

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To All the Mutuals I Still Follow Even Though We Only Had That One Hyperfixation in Common Like Five Years Ago

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reading an interview with the Little Women (2019) costumer is making snakes manifest in my house

“if we infer Jo was Louisa May Alcott, I think Jo’s character, historically, would never have worn a corset.”

Louisa May Alcott appears to be wearing a corset in every surviving photo where you can see her torso, because a corset was a basic foundation garment and not just a fashion accessory, so jot that the fuck down

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The madden gif maker has banned the use of the word “capitalism”.

“Too many people were using our videogame football gif maker to make communist propaganda. We need to put a stop to that.”

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oh to be a statue of a goddess covered in moss, somewhere in the garden of the enchanted ruins the castle left behind, for birds to take rest on my shoulders and for animals to sleep in front of my feet, for no ordinary humans to be reached

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Look at her opening doors to thousands of girls (if not more) around the world! 😍

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any cat born after 4400 BC can’t hunt all they know is roll on ground, snuggle, lick they paws, be pet, eat dry food and lie

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while you were hitting the juul, going to college, having casual sex, driving your car, and eating takeout food, i died horribly under mysterious circumstances in a national park. and my body was never found again

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Can you imagine showing up to a phonebank for Bernie Sanders and you get seated next to Eric Andre?

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Psst NASA is currently running a poll to decide the name of the next Mars rover!

These are the nine finalists! The poll closes in five days, so go vote here! The winning name will be announce in March :)