sadistgoddess-blog

[sadistgoddess-blog]

At it's simplest, FLR just means she makes the decisions. You could look at a classic 1950's marriage, where the man made all the decisions, reverse the genders, and you could argue that's an FLR. It's you and you partner's job to figure out what kind of FLR works for you. In mine, when we're out in public, she makes all final decisions. We tend to talk about most things, for example where we'll grab dinner, and she will certainly ask my opinion, but if I want Italian and she wants Japanese, and she decides on Japanese, that's the answer. We both take part in discussing most of our plans, but she makes the final decision, and I comply with whatever she decides. There's a little more to it -- if I do anything that does not directly benefit her, I quietly ask her permission (may I use the bathroom? May I check my texts? May I look around that store over there?), but again, in public, it's subdued. In private, there's more kink involved, but it's not 24/7. When we walk into her apartment, I ask her how she wants me (dressed? naked?) and that sets the tone for how we'll interact... when she wants a change, if she had me stay dressed, now she might have me get naked. She continues to make all decisions. I cater to her needs -- does she want a glass of wine? Can I make her a snack? should I grab your phone, you left it in the living room? -- but really, at minimum, all it needs to be an FLR is that she makes the decisions. The protocol, kink, etc. is something added on top that we both enjoy

eelred on reddit 

From a post about what a female-led relationship looks like. I love this. I want this. I want to be ready for this. 

[sadistgoddess-blog]

Have him order you lunch or dinner (doordash, eat24, etc) to your place -- can't let mistress go hungry -- if you're comfortable with him having your home address. If not, maybe his service is to buy you 2 dinners per week at a restaurant, he gets a picture of you with your food as a reward. When my mistress goes out with the girls, our deal is, I'll buy the first round of drinks, and she rewards me with a pic of her & her (hot! lol) friends at the bar. Use Venmo/paypal/cashapp/whatever to get paid. I FUCKING LOVE buy her lunch, dinner, or drinks, and getting that awesome thank-you pic, feel like I'm serving a super important need of hers, and seeing the pic makes me feel like I'm a little more part of her life even though we're apart. Okay, this veers way into humiliation, but you might be able to give it a service spin ... "I am missing my daily adoration from my sub, so you can serve me by showing me how you feel about serving me". If you can use Facetime/Duo, have him put together a little skit where he discusses his devotion to you, re-dedicates himself to you, etc. My mistress usually requires that the skit include a humiliating booty-shaking dance (lol!), but perhaps this isn't his thing. Anyway, overall This will put him to work re-thinking about his feelings, putting them to paper, rehearsing, maybe doing a symbolic re-dedication to serving you thing... he might spend days preparing for this. In regards to dominant sex, but also unfortunately veering into humiliation, ... tell him you're missing YOUR dick, and require him to, say, as a service to you, send you a picture of his hard dick, every hour on the hour, for 5 hours straight (pick a Saturday or wahtever so it's not at work). If he's out shopping, well, when 3pm rolls around, he better get to a restroom, get hard, and send that pic ... or otherwise, make sure he's home on the hour, every hour. It doesn't have to be dick pics obviously, that's just what springs to mind, but whatever sexual thing you feel is appropriate... but something sexual, that also keeps him busy. Also, the idea that being sexual is a "service" to you is a pretty big turn-on. For your part, you do almost nothing but look at a pic each hour and praise him; but I guarantee you, he will obsessed and immersed in you every second of that time. Ask me how I know :)

eelred on Reddit

Long distance service ideas <3 from a Reddit discussion

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[sadistgoddess-blog]

it's occurred to me that this must be one of the hardest things about being a domme: you're not supposed to show weakness because your attractiveness is tied to your invincibility. The guys you're compatible with find you hotter the more powerful you are, and it doesn't seem powerful to experience or communicate any self-doubt at all. But we're all people, aren't we. And we all have to experience self-doubt, and we all need someone to hear us when we do. I don't know what a real, genuine relationship with a domme looks like. It's something I dreamed about my whole life and something I just never got. But in any relationship, everyone needs to have a chance to sometimes be the weak one and lean on the other one for comfort and support.

hematomatoed on Reddit  From a Reddit thread on Femdom confidence. 

“If a dudes attraction to me is tied to my power and invincibility - he doesn’t want me. What he wants is a vehicle for his fetish, the fact that I happen to be that vehicle is not particularly relevant.

A successful dynamic requires a lot of openness and communication. Difficult conversations requiring a lot of emotional vulnerability is a very significant component of that.

When I started dating, I did feel a pressure to be in “Domme Mode” all the time because I was worried that dudes would lose interest if I wasn’t. In fact, it turned out to be a great shitbag filter for me.” (obscenepenguin)

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👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣😋😋

[sadistgoddess-blog]

I'm drawn to switches who lean heavily to the sub side. I am not a switch myself but enjoy being topped sometimes. Subs with a hint of dominant energy threaten me in the very best way. But I would be just as happy with a full submissive as long as they were comfortable with topping. That said, I'm usually attracted to traditional flavors of masculinity. I suppose I like the juxtaposition since I tend to carry my public self rather traditionally. I'm a dom who would most likely be mistaken for a sub, who likes subs who would most likely be mistaken for doms lol.

DingDomme on Reddit

“ I draw the line at bratting as well though a little sass and cheekiness is welcome.” From a Reddit post on switches. This is exactly how I feel about my sexuality and it’s really difficult to convey without people just assuming I’m a sub or switch. Some more on this: “ My boyfriend and I are a heterosexual couple. I'm the domme side of switch while he's the sub side of switch. This works out pretty great for us when he gets a bit feral and wants to take me, and for the occasion when I get knocked into subspace and just want to be taken and not drive. I don't submit, though, and will not be demeaned or humiliated, while he definitely wants those things as a sub.” from painted_paper_crane

[sadistgoddess-blog]

One of my favorite dynamics is to switch during the session. For example, I dominate her for a while, and then at some point she defies me, and as I go to put her back in her place, she grabs me in a sensitive place and squeezes very hard, which obviously enough is game over :) The interesting thing is that 5 seconds, where I go from "I am her master and she is my plaything" to sincerely begging for mercy -- sort of a 5-second drop from dominant to submissive -- is the most delicious sensation in all of domination for me.

Eelred on Reddit

From a post on switches. I’d love to have sessions like this, where the guy starts out dominant and as soon as I get bored I absolutely fuck him up. This seems like the end to playfighting scenarios I’ve tried but have yet to work. 

[sadistgoddess-blog]

I like it when my boy orgasms, it’s hot - particularly when we orgasm together, but, as u/misskinky has noted - all the submission in him tends to dwindle and I end up feeling rather used and dehumanised. Some dudes use orgasm as an excuse not to put in any effort. If you’re one of those, there’s nothing to be done for you. If you’re committed to the dynamic and you want it to work, I suggest the following: 1. When you orgasm, provide sufficient aftercare to your gf. Give her a back rub / make her some tea / bring her a glass of water / feed her some snacks - small acts of service on your part will help to re-affirm the dynamic. 2. Clean up after yourself. If you orgasm following PIV, eat the cum out of her pussy. Bonus points if she sits on your face. If you come in her mouth, she can snowball you. If you drip onto the floor, get on your hands and knees and lick it up. Eat your semen. 3. Remember your manners. Did your gf let you cum? Say thank you.

ObscenePenguin on Reddit

From a post on post-orgasmic submission. I love Reddit today. This all sounds so lovely.

[sadistgoddess-blog]

For me, male, it's a reason I don't focus on my own orgasm. I like the feelings of being used and abused more then an orgasm, so I rather stay in a submissive headspace. With my current play partner, this works out really well. She has little interest in pleasing me, and it's not what I want from her. She gladly fucks me to make me squirm and to emphasize her power, but my sexual pleasure is secondary.

Visticous on Reddit

From a Reddit post on post-orgasmic submission. Fuck that’s hot. I have such a hard time finding a sub like this. 

[sadistgoddess-blog]

Weird thing that happened to me years ago. I'd sessioned with a professional domme, and after the session and orgasm, she gave me permission to shower... but forgot to give me permission to get dressed (just turned out to be an oversight on her part). So after the shower I come back naked into the room, and ask her permission to get dressed. She looks at me and clearly thinks about it, but instead of giving me permission to get dressed, she had me help straighten up for the next 10 minutes. I hated every fucking second of it, I hated obeying her, I hated cleaning, I hated being naked (I was actually a little self-conscious and embarrassed about being naked, rather than turned-on as I am during session). Then over the next week, I found I kept fantasizing about it -- it was like this "pure" post-orgasm humiliation that wasn't driven by sexual-submission, and I loved thinking about it. That was a real discovery for me. Ever since then, with both pro dommes and especially in my personal life, we often engage in "post orgasm protocol". In a way, it remains a love/hate thing for me -- hate having to do these things post-orgasm, but also ... love the purity of it, love what it means as a gesture to my beloved mistress. Often we have set protocols; my current mistress might dictate something like: come out of the shower naked, submit to some more CBT just so I'm reminded who's boss, fetch her a glass of wine, rub her feet while she watches TV. Sometimes post-orgasm protocol is focused more on humiliation, sometimes more on service; there's times she keeps me in genital bondage or nipples clamps, sometimes she keeps me naked for hours. A weird thing has happened along the way, I've kind of become conditioned to view this as the way things are. I still don't feel very submissive post-orgasm, but in a weird way I savor the "pure" service/humiliation/obedience that comes afterwards anyway. And again, I love the fact that I'm doing it for her, even though I don't feel submissive at all anymore. So, long story short: perhaps talk to her about making up some post-orgasm protocol, so you know your orders in advance, and have to stick with it. "You'll be naked for 2 hours after you orgasm; during that time you are only allowed to crawl to where you need to go, except when you are serving me in some way; if I detect any hesitation at any time I will say 'present yourself' and you are to bring me the crop for 10 smacks on your cock" etc. etc. It really worked for me as a pre-planned extension. My mistress and are I 24/7, not just scene-based or session-based, and it keeps her happier this way, too

Eelred on Reddit

From a post on Reddit about post-orgasmic submission. Wow reading this got me so wet. I have a new kink. 

[sadistgoddess-blog]

A huge list of Femdom ideas. Some of my favourites:

He has to earn orgasms.

-->After you have had five orgasms, he gets one.

-->He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the "perfect slave." These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn't mean he needs a lot of them.)

In private, you can introduce a leash to enforce the distance rule, tying it to his collar or his balls. You can also shorten his stride with chains or set him to crawling, and watch as he struggles to follow you around the house.

He must tell you when he's horny

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Have him acknowledge every command with "yes ma'am," "yes, mistress," or similar.

Slave must bring you to orgasm within a specific time period, using the method of your choice. Failing to do so is punishable. The time limit can be as long or as short as you want, but should be set so that Slave is forced to work very furiously.

He is not allowed to say "no" to anyone.

The slave always eats after his mistress is completely finished and the dishes are done.

Slave must ask for permission and receive it to use the bathroom. You can modify this by setting a limit to the number of times Slave may ask, or how frequently he may ask.

Very simply, the slave isn't allowed to wear certain clothes (or any clothes at all) at certain times. This can be as long or as short as you like.

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There was a Reddit post about “I’m a Domme but I need to be dominated to have an orgasm?” with some incredibly hot comments:

“I order you to fuck me roughly for the next minute and don’t you dare fucking cum"

“I wondered if I’m a switch but I realised that even though I love that wild intensity at times I don’t ever want to give up control - these moments happen when I want them too and not my partner.”

“ I’m not submissive at all and I don’t like being dominated in general, except for that last minute.”

“This is basically me and my domme  – for our entire foreplay, I am completely submissive and often physically restrained – she teases me, dommes me, punishes me, etc. This allows me to build up a ton of sexual energy from the teasing and adrenaline from the pain. When she finally "sets me loose”, I fuck her in what looks like a completely male-dominant way. I hold her by the hair, tell her to get on her hands and knees, spank her, etc. This works really well for us – we both cum hard together and I get to express my masc/dom energy in a way that is completely focused on her pleasure.“

“I’m pretty much the same. Like I love being dominant and edging my subs, teasing them and denying them, listening to their moaning and pleading. Gets me wet beyond belief. But I also have a masochistic streak, and cum the hardest when im being manhandled, choked, bitten, spanked, and just fucked doggystyle really really hard.”