sagan-starstuff

[sagan-starstuff]

Fic: Adrift (gen, T)

1600 words; T for inadvertent/non-consensual drug use (implied) and canonical blood/violence/parental death; what happened between Bill Mulder's house and Scully's apartment in Anasazi?; written for @tucker-077 for the PoangPals Summer 2025 Exchange. Read on AO3 here.

+ + + +

Where was he?

Feet on the pedals, hands on the wheel. The car. He checked. His car. The same hamburger wrapper in the back seat. The clinking keys were chained to the Roswell keychain Frohike had gotten him some year.

The red light stared into his soul. His was stained, soiled, torn, guilty, guilty, guilty.

What was he doing?

Green light go. His feet understood what to do.

Where was he going?

He had been talking to his father. They never talked. He had been talking to his father and then his father had excused himself and then. Blood. Broken glass. The shriek of tires on asphalt as his father’s murder sped away. The high whine in his head, the tinnitus of grief. The shadows of trees lined the road, swaying like ghosts.

They had been so close to something that mattered. Mulder couldn’t remember what it was, only the blood. Only the spatters on the clean white tile of the bathroom. Blood on his coat, blood on his hands.

Orange light on the dashboard. White lights of the gas station. He flinched from the brightness and the reek of gasoline. It smelled hot, like blood.

He dunked his hands in the filthy slosh of windshield cleaner, wiped them with a paper towel from the dispenser. There was blood under his nails. The cleaner stung his skin. The paper towel was rough and it clumped and tore as he scrubbed at his nails.

He’d tried to hold his father with these hands. He had put his father on the couch, as if he were sleeping. But there was no father left, only a body.

He had called Scully. His fingers did the walking. Scully was the weight on the line that tethered him. He had left his body, like his father. He was a ghost, except. There was blood on his hands. On his hands on his shirt on his pants. Was there blood left for his heart?

Scully had told him to come back. He’d gotten in the car.

That was the order of things: highway body Scully car highway. Gas station. Where was he? Not in New Jersey. No attendant at the gas pump.

Had he eaten? He wasn’t hungry.

The dispenser clunked. Full tank. His hands tidied away the hose, capped the gas tank, sealed the door. He left the gas station. The dark pressed in around him. Red lights ahead, pulling away. White lights approaching as cars flung themselves past him.

Some rational part of his mind was vaguely aware of a shift from one altered state to another. The trees stilled, but his mind still drifted in weary circles.

An ambulance had taken the body away. Red and white. The siren pitched like the wail of a fleeing engine. He had watched from his car, parked a few houses down. He had to get back to Scully. He couldn’t go to the hospital.

He couldn’t go to the police station.

He couldn’t stay. Scully had told him so.

The police would take him, if he went to the hospital to see the body on the cold metal table in the morgue. They would ask him questions for which he had no answers. Why the blood in the bathroom. Why the body on the sofa. Why the blood. On his hands, on the floor. Why the gun. Where and when and who and how. There were no words left. There was no reason. There was no father. No. No no no.

He had to get to Scully. He couldn’t go home.

They’d brought the body that was his father out on a stretcher. White sheet over his face. Red meant stop. White meant stopped. Like the sheet. Like the gas station.

He wanted to stop.

He went on through the dark. Red white red white red white and the yellow stripes on the road. They shone in the beams of the headlights. Mica glittered in the paint. He wanted to stop, to stretch out on the warm asphalt, to run his fingers over the texture of the paint, but his body went on driving.

He had to get to Scully. Her urgency drew him on, a line hooked in his gut.

His ears were still ringing. He heard the gunshot again and again.

Scully.

Someone had tried to shoot her. Was there red blood on her white skin? Was there a white sheet covering her red hair? He’d spoken to her, hadn’t he? Or was it just the connection they had, her mind to his?

He would know if Scully’s heart had stopped beating. His own would stutter, falter, still. The absence of her pulse would be a cold table in the gleaming grey morgue.

He was parked in front of Scully’s apartment. His hands and feet had brought him here. His body moved through the world, though his heart and mind had stopped. Someone had drawn a white sheet over them. The landscape around him was a hot blank blur.

He knocked on Scully’s door. He fell on Scully’s door and made a thud. He fell again as she opened the door. She caught him, took the weight of him, bracing him up like Atlas bearing the world.

Fox, she said, the word startled out of her.

His name. The name his father had given him.

His eyes burned. He couldn’t cry. Her blue eyes were the only cool thing. He wanted to strip off all his clothes so that she could look at him all over, pouring out her eyes over the hot of him.

She was talking. He was talking. What was he saying?

She eased him down in her bed. Her pillowcases were stark white; a white sheet folded crisply over the top of her striped duvet. No, he wanted to tell her. It was all wrong. The sheets. His clothes. The blood. But her bed cradled him and his eyes were closing. He caught his breath in panic, a sob catching in his throat. She put a cool washcloth on his forehead.

There was nobody like Scully.

He wanted to tell her.

But the body, the body, the red blood and the white sheet. The air was smeared with color. Scully’s forehead was smudged with blood. She was white as a sheet, leaning over him. She would cover his face.

There was a cold thermometer under his tongue. It tasted of alcohol. And then it was gone, and there was Scully, sitting him up, pressing tablets between his lips. There was the rim of a glass, there was the water brimming against his mouth. He swallowed and swallowed and swallowed until the glass yielded no more. The tablets went down into the sloshing emptiness inside him.

How had he gotten here? The car? His feet, his hands. His body had brought him to Scully.

Sleep slammed into him like a car peeling out. He was gone, too deep to dream.

He woke. Where was he? Warm wood and clean sheets. Mismatched lamps on the bedside tables. Scully’s bedroom, Scully’s bed. And there was Scully. He’d thrashed, tangled himself in the covers. She unwound him, murmuring comfort. Her cool hands undressed him, one button at a time. She took his shirt with the blood that was all he had left of his father. She took his jeans and his socks. She smoothed the blanket over his hips.

Everything was out of focus, but she was clear, clear, clear as water. Cool as water. He wanted to sink into her. She blushed a warm pink. Had he said it out loud? He couldn’t hear himself. The echo of the gunshot was too loud.

Pink was all right. Pink was alive. Scully was alive and she would find the body that had been his father and make arrangements. Scully understood how to deal with the dead. And Scully had no father, so they shared that.

He didn’t say it. He didn’t think he did, anyway. She could show him how to live in a fatherless world, even though she had loved her father and he had only wanted to love his father, for years now. He didn’t say that either. Scully had known her father’s heart. He wasn’t sure an autopsy would find his father’s heart. It had wasted away after Samantha, shriveled and desiccated, buried underneath the neat arch of the ribs that were like branches on a strong tree.

Trees fell. Ribs cracked. Hearts bled and sobbed and stopped and so did fathers.

What had his father been saying, before the bathroom and the glass and the blood?

But there was no glass in Scully’s bed. There was no blood. Everything was smooth and soft in Scully’s bed.

Go to sleep, she said. Her fingers smoothed his brow. The ache in his head eased. The ringing in his ears quieted.

Please, he wanted to say, but there was nothing more. His need was inarticulate. But she heard him, wordless. She sat beside him. Her body was so compact. How did it contain her soul? The essence of her was enormous. She was a universe to him.

What are we going to do?, she asked the air.

She held his hand between both of hers. Peace flooded him, a current between their bodies. He slept, and woke, and slept, and woke, and she was still holding his hand, her thigh pressed to his, her knee against his hip.

I’m sorry, he thought he heard her say as her weight shifted off the bed, but he was gone again, drifting in an eddy of his own consciousness, unanchored.

[sagan-starstuff]

Part 1

A sort of canon divergent/post IWTB fic where they separate as normal but William lives with them and he goes between their houses like a child of divorced parents. (will get a proper title and summary when it's not 1am)

...

The car pulls into her drive on Sunday night at 6:30pm exactly. 

William has been fed (a forbidden burger from Wendy’s and a shake but that was their secret) he’s even had a shower since this Sunday was Will’s first baseball meet of the month. Now their son had been delivered full and clean back to his mother, back to his permanent home. 

The hallway light turns on. Will is grabbing his bags as Mulder’s stomach clenches, as it always does every Sunday, at the opportunity to see her. 

“See you next week Dad,” Will says, hand on the car door as he pushes it open. 

Mulder turns away from the front door. “See you next week,” he answers back. He watches Will run up to the door and that’s when he finally sees her. 

God, he misses her so much. 

He clutches the wheel, forcing himself to stay put. He should be going in with Will. Hell, they should both be at the Unremarkable House with him. Home. Together. 

But they’re not. He lives alone, in a house too big, and she lives here, in a house too far away. 

But they don’t because he fucked up five years ago. 

“Go inside Will,” he hears her say. “I wanna talk to your dad for a minute.”

Christ, what has he done now? As she approaches, Mulder goes through a list of things he could’ve forgotten to do. He even checks the time again, thinking maybe he’d read it wrong and it was actually half 7 instead. Yet as she gets closer, he notices she isn’t actually mad. 

Maybe he had got something right for once. 

He exits the car just as she gets there. In flip flops, she is so much smaller than he is. He’d almost forgotten how much so. 

Mulder shoves his hands in his pockets to keep them from wrapping around her. 

“Hey Scully,” he greets trying to sound casual when inside his heart was doing flips. 

“Hey,” she says, sounding just as casual. “Um…William has a parent-teacher conference on Friday,” she tells him. 

“Okay…?” Mulder half asks, wondering about its significance. Surely he’s had many of those before. 

“Well I usually drop him off at your house at 4. The meeting pushes it back.” 

Right, it interferes with her perfectly designed schedule. 

“That’s fine,” Mulder says, finding no issue with it. “Friday nights our movie night anyway, doesn’t make a ton of difference to us.” 

If Scully feels anything at the mention of ‘movie night’ she doesn’t show it. A long time ago when cases were packed up neatly and they had no other commitments, Friday night belonged to them. Rock, Paper, Scissors played for who chose what they were watching. Mulder was still yet to admit he let her win on purpose. 

“That’s nice,” she says. “So you’ll be at the school?”

“At 4?” 

“At 3. For the conference.” 

It takes him a moment but then he realises what she’s asking. 

“Oh, you want me there with you,” he says surprised. She nods. “Sure, yeah, I can be there.” 

She smiles and it’s been so long since she’s smiled at anything he’s said that he’ll take it. 

“Okay then. Make sure you don’t forget.” 

“I won’t.”

They stand there then, albeit in an awkward-ish silence. Mulder wants to reach out to her, ask her to invite him inside, ask her to be a proper family again. Would she want that?

Will calls out from the front door. Mulder retreats, the coward. 

“Mom! Can I have ice cream?” He shouts out into the street. 

He sees Scully cringe. She won’t yell back, not out here. Maybe if he was in another room or up the stairs, but never in the street. 

She turns away from him, no goodbye or anything and walks back over to Will. He doesn’t hear what she says but Will is ushered back inside and the front door slams shut. That’s it. That’s all he sees of her. 

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

A buzz comes through on his phone. 

Mulder ignores it. A news notification or some update surely, nobody ever talks to him.

He ignores it. 

It buzzes again. 

Strange. 

He picks it up. 

Scully: We need to talk. 

Then the other messages. 

Scully: Mulder? 

Scully: Hello? 

Scully: Mulder, it’s me. 

He’s about to type a reply when her name takes up the screen and his phone starts chiming. 

“What’s the point of you having a phone if you’re not gonna look at it?”

She sounds pissed. At him? 

“Hello to you too, Scully,” he mutters. 

“What was that?” Her voice comes through sharp. 

“Nothing,” he dismisses. “What’s up? You said you needed to talk to me.” 

A long sigh exits Scully before she talks. “William got into a fight at school today.” 

Shit. Mulder thinks he knows where this is going. 

“Uh-huh.”

“He decided to practice karate on some classmates,” she explains. 

“It’s called Kung-Fu,” Mulder hears Will’s voice call through distantly. “And it was only one kid.” 

Scully’s voice, dimmed as she moves the phone away to talk to Will. “I don’t care what it’s called. You shouldn’t be fighting.” Then her voice much clearer. “Do you have an explanation for this?” 

In another world, another time, he would be asking her that only it would be in regards to mothmen and fluke worms, not 9 year old boys. 

“Yeah, last Friday we watched a couple Jackie Chan movies.” 

He hears another sigh. 

“Sorry,” he adds. 

“It’s fine.” She sighs again. It’s so not fine. “Because of it, they’ve moved his conference. You need to be here now.” 

Mulder’s head whips side to side, trying to locate some pants. Can’t very well turn up to school in his boxers. “Like,  now-now?” 

“Like, as soon as possible, yeah. They’re anxious to get started.” 

He cradles his phone between his ear and shoulders and starts pulling on the first pair of jeans he can find. “Yeah, just give me half an hour.” 

“Half an hour, Mulder, or we start without you.” 

Half an hour it is. 

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Martial arts training aside, Will was doing pretty well in school though Mulder suspected that had more to do with the half Scully inside him. He was good at all subjects but was specifically excelling in Science even if he did ask some ‘out there’ question. Mulder grins at Scully but she’s staring straight ahead and misses it. Mulder deflates a little. 

With the promise of no more fighting they are free to leave. While Scully talks to his teacher some more, Mulder pulls Will aside. 

“So?” He asks to Will’s intrigue. “Which kid was it?” 

Will grind. “Troy Johnson,” he says. 

Mulder cringes. That kid’s been giving Will a hard time since kindergarten. In Mulder’s eyes, he had it coming. 

“What he do?” Mulder asks thinking he simply gave Will a Wet Willy or something. 

Will’s grin drops, he looks towards Scully before turning back and talking to the floor. 

“He called Mom a name,” he says. 

Mulder’s insides grow cold. He frowns. “What sort of name?” 

Will fidgets. “I dunno what it means but…he called her a milf.” His face contorts in disgust. “I didn’t like it.” 

Mulder tries not to laugh. He does not look towards Scully. Instead, he ruffles his son’s hair. 

“I tried to tell Mom would she wouldn’t listen.” 

“It’s okay, Will. You did good.” 

“Did I?” He asks, unsure. 

“Sure. Well, maybe keep the physical violence to a minimum but keep up the sentiment.” 

Will nods, stands straighter, proud of himself. Then falters, a confused look falling across his face. “What does sentiment mean?” 

Before Mulder can answer, Scully walks over to them. She gives Will a reproachable look. “I suppose we should get you to your dad’s,” she says to Will. Then to Mulder, “Do everyone a favour and keep the Kung-Fu movies to a minimum.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he answers, giving a mock salute. She glares at him as she passes. An idea strikes him then. “We should go out for food,” he suggests. 

Will immediately perks up. “Wendy’s?” He asks. 

“No!” Scully immediately shoots down. Then looks at Mulder. “We are not rewarding this.” Will deflates. 

“Come on Scully,” Mulder urges. “The kid has learned his lesson.” (Will nods; “I will keep my hands to myself in future,” he says like an oath) “Let’s get some food.” 

It doesn’t take much, surprisingly, for Scully to relent. 

“Okay, fine. But then I need to go home.” 

Mulder smiles. It’s a win he’ll take. 

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

They end up in Wendy’s.

Mulder gets a burger, fries, and treats himself to a banana milkshakes. Will gets virtually the same only the shake is chocolate. He can see Scully wanting to protest but Will is enjoying himself and that’s what matters overall- Mulder has to remind her. 

Scully declines having anything and Mulder surmises she’s on a health kick again. He takes a sneak peak at her body, to make sure her clothes aren’t dangling from her body. They aren’t, he makes sure to take a good long look. 

About 15 minutes in, she’s eating his fries anyway. 

Mulder leans back, watching, enjoying how normal it all is. How much he wants this to last forever. 

“I need to go drain the lizard,” says Will and Mulder barks out a laugh, the moment ruined. 

“William!” Scully admonishes, pulling a face. 

“What? I need a wee.”

“Just say you’re going to the bathroom. Is this one of your sayings?” She asks Mulder. 

Mulder, half laughing-half choking on a fry replies, “No, I would never say something like that.” 

She eyes him suspiciously, not believing. Then turns back to Will. “Do you need one of us to come with you?” 

Now it’s Will’s turn to pull a face. “No Mom, I’m not a baby.” 

Mulder watches Scully watch him go. She has a weird look on her face; like she’s mad at him but also deeply fond of him. 

“You ever gonna stop being mad at him?” Mulder asks. He tosses his napkin down, pushes the basket of fries towards Scully who brings them closer to her automatically. 

“Eventually.” 

“Well I don’t know if this changes your mind at all but I think you should know your son karate-chopped that kid today to defend your honour.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Troy Johnson, the little shit, called you a MILF.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yep. I think Will overheard and punched him.” They see William walking towards them now. “Don’t be so hard on him, okay.” 

Scully lets out a small, “Okay.” Then looks towards her phone, grimacing. 

“Everything okay?” Mulder asks with concern. 

“Yeah,” Scully answers though she sounds distracted. “It’s just time for me to go home.”

“Already?” Will asks sounding disappointed. 

“Come on,” says Mulder, a hand on Will’s shoulder. “It’s getting late. Mom’s probably usually in bed by now.” He feels a pinch to his elbow in response. 

They climb into the car; Mulder driving, Scully next to him, Will in the back seat. They could almost all be going home together. 

“I’ll drop you off, okay?”

“Okay,” Scully answers. She smiles but it doesn’t look as natural as the others have. 

They’re pulling into her drive when they hear Will from the back seat. “Damn…” he mutters just loud enough for Mulder to catch it. He waits for a reapproach from Scully but one doesn’t come. “Can I get my DS from the house?” Will asks. That seems to spurn Scully. 

“Yes but be quick, your dad wants to get home.”

His dad didn’t want to get home. His dad wanted to stay here, in this moment, pretending this is where they all lived. How normal this day had felt; going to school, going out to dinner, the banter, the easiness. How Will seemed so much happier having both parents together. They forget but this can’t be easy on him. 

Scully enjoys his company, he knows she does. She wouldn’t have gone out with them tonight if she didn’t. 

“I should go,” she says but Mulder reaches out towards her, his hand falling lightly atop of hers. The first he’s touched her in over 5 years. He’s missed this, missed her so much. 

Stay, he wants to say. Come back with us. We can be a proper family again. 

“Scully…” he says and she turns ever so slightly and he can see it, how much she wants this too. 

He doesn’t know who kisses who first. When their lips touch it’s magical and magnificent at once. Everything he can remember and more. 5 years of memory that never lived up to the real thing, 5 years of wet dreams, waking up soiled and disappointed, ashamed and heart broken all over again, missing her even more than the day before. 

His tongue invades her mouth, wrapping his hands around her waist, trying to pull her closer to relieve the ache hardening between his legs but the stupid console is in the way. 

Mulder pulls away, fighting for breath, for words. “Invite me in,” he whispers. Into her home, into her heart, he’ll take anything he just wants more. 

“I want…” she begins but the front door is open, light from the hallway illuminating them. 

They jump away from each other, burned by the light and by the words that fall innocently from William’s mouth. 

“Mom! You didn’t tell me Scott was here.” 

A coldness runs through Mulder. He looks from Scully (who has some decency to look ashamed at least) to the stranger that stands in her house like he owns it. 

Who the fuck is Scott? His brain demands. 

...

@today-in-fic

[sagan-starstuff]

Here is my offering for @numinousmysteries for the Pocket Pals Summer Surprise Gift Exchange!

Num, I was so happy when I learned you were my giftee! Like myself, you are a dedicated Pain Slut and I feel we have very similar tastes when it comes to fic, so I was cautiously optimistic that I could throw something together you might enjoy. I hope I've achieved that!

This is the first chapter in what will be a five chapter fic, each chapter a post-episode missing scene from season four (aka, your beloved cancer arc). I am still finalizing the last couple of chapters, so I'll endeavour to update every other day beginning now. Happy Summer Surprise, pal!

In the morning, when you finally go

She’s quiet on the drive. I run through my mental Rolodex of ways to fill the silence, car games or stupid jokes or waxing lyrical about something I read in one of the files, but the words won’t come. A few minutes in, I turn on the radio, and we listen to the oldies station for a while. I steal glances at her, unable to shake the irrational fear that she might disappear if I look away for too long. She pretends not to notice. 

Early morning light dances across her features as we glide through the quiet streets, light and shadow shifting and changing, like she’s standing in front of one of my slideshows. It starts to rain, and she rolls down her window, holds out a hand to catch the drops.  

We pull up outside her building, and I kill the engine. The sudden silence is heavy, humid, the kind that fills your lungs and makes it impossible to draw breath.  

“I wanted to say thank you,” Scully says, her voice cutting through with medical precision. “For... everything.”  

Read the rest on AO3.

[sagan-starstuff]

PoangPals Summer Surprise 2025!

I present my surprise for @dialecticaldimensions for the PoangPals Summer Gift Exchange! Special thanks to @laurencem for the beta read!

Title - Please Come Back

Rating: Teen

Summary: Scully fights for her place in the basement after her abduction.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67706841

Looking around her hospital room, Scully remembered why she’d opted to not practice medicine. The bland beige walls, the over-laundered linens, the smell of disinfectant over the mingled scents of despair and hope, the relentless cheer of the nurses opposing the serious demeanor of the doctors. After two years of rigorous course work she’d stepped into the hospital in her third year of medical school for her clinical rotations expecting to find patient care thrilling and rewarding, but instead found it stifling. Too many of her peers and superiors were interested only in getting patients in and out of the door, incurious about the hows and whys of their patients’ conditions and lives. The same stubborn and inquisitive nature that drew her to medicine led her to disillusionment and disappointment with the rote and algorithmic nature of much of what she saw. Forensic medicine offered her a chance to answer questions no one else could, to speak for people who had no voice. It was at the same time a hard decision and an easy one.  

Now, on the other side of the hospital bed, she found it stifling still. Her doctors were baffled by her recovery - from critically ill and unresponsive for no clear reason one week to awake, thriving, and ready to go home the next. Once she’d regained some energy she peppered them with questions about how she arrived at the hospital, why she hadn’t had a forensic exam done, what their hypotheses were about her immunocompromised state on arrival and why she’d so quickly recovered. Her doctors shrugged. Her nurses chided her about getting out of bed. Her mother prayed the rosary and held her hand too tightly, just thankful to have her child returned to her. Really, who could blame her? Her sister brought her tea and tinctures, arranged crystals on her bedside table, and tried to get her to meditate to ‘awaken her memories’. At least Melissa understood her need to know why, even if Scully didn’t agree with the methods. She was grateful for her recovery but if one more person called her return a miracle and looked no further, she was going to scream. She felt a ball of fury growing in her chest, demanding answers and justice for the things stolen from her that no one had a right to take. Months of her life, security in her own home, her memories, and God only knew what else. 

And Mulder? Since his first visit and his ridiculous but somehow perfect gift, she’d barely seen him. A quick visit a couple days ago for her and her mother to update him about her condition. He’d sat with his long limbs hunched in the uncomfortable plastic chair, curled in on himself, dark circles under his eyes and more gaunt than she’d ever known him. He opened and closed his hands, like he was trying to grasp at something he couldn’t touch. His gaze was baleful and beaten, like a child bracing for rebuke. The only time he flared with the fire she expected from him was when she asked about the investigation into her kidnapping. With Duane Barry dead, no witnesses, no trace evidence from her return, and without her memory beyond the trunk of her own car, there were no leads to go on, and unless that changed he expected it to be shelved. After all, she was back and looking better every day. In the eyes of the FBI that was a win, so leave it at that. He came back to himself then, alive with righteous anger, voice strong as he swore to them that he would do everything he could to find the truth. She reached for his hand, but he retreated back inside himself and quickly made excuses to go, leaving her more lonely than she thought possible with her mother and Melissa by her side. That’s why she’d asked him to come to her bedside today, her mother and sister having gone home to get her apartment ready for her discharge tomorrow. 

He slipped into her room like a trespasser and dropped into the chair next to her bed, eyes wide with worry, “I came as soon as I could, what is it, Scully, what’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath and clasped her hands tightly in her lap, steeling herself for this conversation. “Nothing, Mulder, nothing’s wrong. I feel fine. I’m going home tomorrow, actually.”

He visibly relaxed and sank into the chair with a sigh, amplifying his rumpled appearance. “Oh…good. That’s good.” Leaning forward onto his elbows, swaying slightly, he asked, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Her chest tightened as she pushed forward, “I wanted to talk to you because I’m going home tomorrow, and in as little as a few weeks I should be medically and psychiatrically cleared to return to work. As soon as I can pass my firearms and self-defense recertifications, I could be back in the field.” She paused, meeting his eyes, but he just looked at her with his jaw tight. She pressed on, choosing her words carefully, “I spoke to Assistant Director Skinner yesterday. About reassignment.”

He didn’t react initially but looked down at his clenched hands in his lap with a frown. “You'd be a great asset to any division, Scully. I’d happily write you a reference letter. You should do what you think is best.”

“I asked him what your current assignment was, if you were still on wiretapping or not.” She leaned forward to try to get him to meet her eyes and engage with what she was saying, to give her something, anything. When he continued to avoid her gaze she shoved the blanket off of herself and twisted to sit at the edge of the bed. She grabbed his hand and squeezed hard.

“ Mulder. Were you going to tell me you’d gotten the X-Files back, or was I going to have to find out through the grapevine?” She tried to keep her voice calm, but didn’t think she was succeeding. 

His head jerked up and he finally looked at her instead of through her. He looked awful. His five o’clock shadow was more like half past midnight, his normally bright hazel eyes were bloodshot, his already lanky body was thinner than she remembered. She wondered when he last slept or ate something that wasn’t coffee and sunflower seeds.

“I was going to tell you.” he started, “But…you’re recovering. I didn't want to interfere. It wasn't important.” 

“ Wasn’t important,” she repeated. Her voice rose and she pulled her hand away to run it through her hair. “When Skinner told me you were back on the X-Files, I asked to be reassigned as your partner. Quantico has enough pathologists, they don't need me. Do you know what he told me?”

“What?”

A hot knot was building up in the back of her throat. “That I should talk to you first. That I should ask if you want me to come back.”

He looked at her like she’d slapped him. Good.

His jaw clenched as he inhaled deeply, and leaned forward, considering what he wanted to say. “Scully, you - of course I want you to be my partner. When you were taken…” he trailed off, swallowing hard. “It's not a matter of what I want, Scully.”

“Then what is it a matter of, Mulder?” Her breath came quickly and she could feel her cheeks pink. 

His head dropped onto his hands and he stood suddenly to pace along her bed, hands on his hips. He was agitated now, fidgeting as he paced. “It’s a matter of you being abducted , Scully.  From your apartment, violently , transported a hundred miles in the trunk of a car, and taken fuck only knows where for three fucking months.” He was yelling now, gesturing at the sky. “Your mother was getting ready to clean out your apartment! She picked out a headstone , Scully! And then whoever the fuck it was that took you dropped you off, dying , like you were nothing.”

His voice broke with anguish and rage and he slumped back down into his seat. She blinked away hot tears, her nails digging into her palms.  She knew all of this already, had a concept of it, but hearing it from him sent shards of ice down her spine. 

When he spoke again his voice was small and choked and his hands shook, gripping the armrests of his chair. He avoided her eyes, when she was desperate for him to look at her.  “And none of it would have ever happened if you had never met me. If you hadn't kept helping me even after they split us up. You're the best partner…the best friend I've ever had. Of course I want you to be my partner. But I don't want to put you at risk again.”

His words hung in the air while she chewed her bottom lip and controlled her breathing. When she couldn’t take it anymore she started “You know, Mom told me what you were like when I showed up here. How angry you were, how you threatened the staff. How you had to be dragged away before you were calm enough to listen. She said it scared her.”

He started to apologize. He never used to apologize this much, it would be a nice change of pace if it weren't infuriating. She cut him off and rose to her feet. “Stop. She said it scared her because she realized she wanted to do the same. She wanted to rage and scream for me, like you were. You never stopped fighting, even when the police and the FBI were shrugging their shoulders.”

It was her turn to pace in front of him. “You’re right, Mulder. Something terrible happened to me. I was scared and I was hurt….and then I was nothing.”

She gesticulated and shook and yelled. She was briefly worried her nurse would barge in to shush her and usher her back to bed but she was beyond caring. “If someone just held me in some basement for 3 months, my muscles would have atrophied and I would be malnourished, but I'm not. I should have bedsores and scars, but I don't. As far as I know I haven't brushed my hair or my teeth for three months, but they're both pristine! My electrolyte abnormalities and cell counts are normal now, but the doctors here didn't do anything but keep me breathing. I'm physically fine, and I shouldn't be, and the only other person asking why is you !”

She stopped in front of him and crossed her arms across her chest, suddenly too exposed, too raw. He stood up from the chair, back into her space for the first time since her return. She wanted to lean into it but craned her neck up to look at him as she kept going. His mouth was tight but his eyes were wide, looking down at her like he was seeing her for the first time. 

“Someone took care of me while they did things that I can't remember. They did something to me and kept me alive so they could keep doing it, and then took my memory of it. I’m scared, Mulder, and I'm furious, and I need to know what else they took!” 

Her chin trembled and the bitter tears threatening to fall finally spilled down her cheeks in hot tracks. She looked away at the dingy linoleum and felt him step forward and try to put his arms around her, but she thumped her fist on his chest instead and he froze with his arms extended. She forced herself to look up at him.

“I won’t find out if I just go back to Quantico. Maybe this never would have happened if I hadn’t been assigned to the X-Files, but the only way for me to find out the truth, my truth, is with you. It wasn’t your fault. If you have the X-Files back, I want to be back on them with you. Maybe that’s what whoever did this was afraid of. I need answers, Mulder. Are you going to help me find them or not?”

He nodded, eyes misted over, and finished what he started by pulling her into a crushing hug. She did the same, knotting her hands in the back of his jacket. For the first time, she felt like she was really back. She hiccupped and buried her face in his shirt, breathing in the scent she remembered from dozens of road trips and hotel rooms, and her heart rate noticeably slowed. She was alive and he was here, and all she could do was weep into his tie. He tucked her under his chin, nestled his nose in her hair and she could feel him exhale a breath so deep his entire body seemed to relax into her. They stood like that for a minute, maybe longer, wrapped up in each other, feeling the other's heart beat. He pushed back first, just enough to see her face.

“ Yes. I promise. I’ll call Skinner. Please…” He closed his eyes and pulled her back to him, turning his face into the side of her head. “Please come back.”

She nodded into his chest and sniffed, getting herself under control. After another minute and a shaky breath, she loosened her grip slightly. “Ok. Besides,” she said, smiling weakly up at him, “Someone needs to keep you in line.”

He grinned down at her, happiest she’d seen him since before they were reassigned. He looked 10 years younger, light finally back in his hazel eyes. She’d missed him so much. They swayed slightly, and a wave of exhaustion hit her. He wobbled, too, blinking sleepily, but didn’t release her, not quite yet. 

Some of the weight left the room, but she still sagged and finally let him go to sit back on her bed. He slumped back into his chair, looking better but just as exhausted as she felt. “You look terrible, Mulder. When’s the last time you slept?”

He chuckled, and his head fell back against the headrest. “About three months ago.”

He was a bad sleeper even in the best of times, and her mother had given her some idea of how poorly he’d taken care of himself during her disappearance. It probably wasn’t far from the truth. “I tired myself out, I think” she said as she sat back and adjusted herself back under the thin blanket. “Oddly enough, the better I feel the harder it is to sleep. Like I don’t want to miss any more of the world.”

“You should rest.”

“So should you.”

“You have me there.” His head nodded involuntarily, eyes heavily lidded. “I should go,” he said, but he didn't get up to leave.  

She rolled onto her side to face him, curled up on the stiff hospital bed. “You're dead on your feet. Stay for a while. No one's going to kick you out if you have a nap.” 

He gestured at the chair, “Not exactly my size, is it?”

She coached him into pulling it over parallel to the bed, reclining the back and leg rests, and angling himself so he could prop his feet up on the bed. He curled onto his side facing her and she handed him one of her pillows and the extra blanket from the foot of her bed. 

Once he adjusted and settled he drawled, sleepily, “This…isn't bad, actually. Cozy. Are we going to braid each other’s hair and gossip?” 

She scooted as close to the side of the bed as she could, inches away from him despite the armrest of the chair, and turned the lights off with the call button. His eyes closed and he pulled the blanket around his shoulders. The familiar curtain that separated them from the rest of the world settled around them, and she closed her eyes.  “You have the advantage of me there. Did I miss anything important?”

“No World Series. Baseball strike. Nothing else worth mentioning,” he murmured. “Hey Scully?”

She yawned, feeling the pull of sleep and safety, “Yeah, Mulder?”

“Thanks for yelling at me. I missed it.” He reached over and took her hand in his, resting them in the small gap between them. 

Warmth suffused her in their bubble of safety, and she squeezed back. “I missed you too.” 

And with that, sleep took them both. 

[sagan-starstuff]

THE VERY FIRST WORDS: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part 1 of 10: Why Can't I? ✧ based on this playlist by @laurencem

Let the sun fade out to a dark sky. I can't say I'd even notice it was absent, because I could live by the light in your eyes.

playlist / songs ↘

WHY CAN'T I? by Liz Phair / Like Yeti said, "Here we go, we're at the beginning / we haven't fucked yet but my head is spinning" was the perfect choice, I just wasn't sure if I wanted to do that for the gifset lmao. I loved the cheerfulness and excitement in her voice and felt like the thrill of falling in love was the guiding theme of this playlist.

LABYRINTH by Taylor Swift / This is on here entirely for the chorus: "Uh oh, I'm falling in love. Oh no, I'm falling in love again. Oh, I'm falling in love. I thought the plane was going down, how'd you turn it right around?" I think early MSR is filled with this sort of energy—the way it goes from the first realization (uh oh) to nervousness (oh no) to acceptance (oh). I also love the sound of the song — it's like the music quiets for the chorus and you can hear her heartbeat, the soft and slightly scared energy of her voice, the loss of control as she free falls into this feeling.

BUTTERFLIES by Kacey Musgraves / These lyrics aren't as directly applicable to MSR, but I think the rhythm and sound of this song is exactly what this playlist is meant to be. I love the way she's singing about someone giving her butterflies and the music embodies that feeling.

ENCHANTED by Taylor Swift / "The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy" is soooo MSR, especially at the beginning (even though their banter never goes away, I do feel it evolves). I think "Enchanted" matches the early stages of their flirtation and is another song that matches the overall theme of this playlist—the magic of falling in love.

BRIGHT by Echosmith / Another song that is more about the sound and energy than the lyrics. As their friendship grows, especially in early season two, you see how much they enjoy each other's company and the way they light up around each other, and I feel like they feel the way this song sounds.

I SAW YOUR FACE by Emily James / Thinking about the suggested episode being "Tooms" made this lyric stand out to me: "we could sit in silence while this feeling finds its space / keep the moment gentle as it settles into place." It reminds me of the quiet in the car as Scully admits how much Mulder means to her, he's shocked, and she doesn't shy away from it. She lets her words linger in the air and forces him to really hear them.

YOU ARE GOLD by The National Parks / This song could have gone on a few different playlists, but I chose this one because of this lyric: "And I will wait if it's time you need / What I see in you / I hope you find in me."

I CHOOSE YOU by Sara Bareilles / A lot of the songs on this playlist feel like songs about falling in love out of the blue, and I do think there's an element of that to early MSR—the "struck by lightning" sort of feeling—but especially as their relationship grows, there are so many instances where they choose each other, over and over again. "Tooms" is one of those moments where Scully so clearly says "I choose you" to Mulder and makes him understand the weight her words carry. The title of the playlist is from this song: "the very first words of a life-long love letter." I wanted to end on this song because I think it mirrors the natural progression of being drawn to each other to choosing each other, but also because I feel like that's where Scully and Mulder are when we think about early seasons. I love this song so much, I love this song for them, and I will not be writing any more lyrics because I'll end up writing out the whole song.

[sagan-starstuff]

Hello everyone!

This is for the Poang Summer 2025 gift exchange and my secret summer pal is @skelethalprism ! I hope you really love this, I think it fits well with your love of Scully-centered fics and the other answers you gave me to my little secret asks (I tried to not sound like myself in them, hopefully that worked and you are surprised it’s me ahaha) 😊

From Now… Until Forever

She fell into his arms as she sobbed. She had spent her whole life trying to be “strong” and to never crack under pressure, whether it be from her family, her colleagues, or even herself. Unfortunately, she was at her breaking point. It was too much.

Dana Scully had always thought of herself as a tough and resilient woman. Hell, she grew up with two brothers and a military father. She knew how to play rough with the boys as a kid. She even could hold her own in a room full of intimidating men. She never backed down in a debate. The last year had tested her over and over again. She had very few memories of the last few months and the ones she had were vague. She was in her apartment, she was in a hospital bed. She was in a rental car, she was tied up in a stranger’s house. She was fighting him off, she was in Fox Mulder’s arms, crying all of the tears she had been holding back for years. Everything else was a huge blur.

———-

“Mulder, can we… can we leave?” Scully asked as she pulled away from his arms. After a few seconds away, she fell right back in. It felt like a safe place to be.

He pulled her closer to him. He was about to cry as well, but did everything he could to refrain. He knew this wasn’t about him but if he had lost her, he didn’t know what he’d do with himself. Mulder just knew that forgiving himself would be impossible.

She hadn’t felt like she needed to be around another person all the time in years. Growing up as a middle child in a house full of siblings, she had found her newfound freedom after moving into her first solo apartment to be an incredible feeling. Even during her relationships, she liked her own space even if she still enjoyed having somebody to cuddle up with at night.

“Yeah, I’ll get you out of here” Mulder said as he brushed a few random hairs away from her eyes. He noticed the cuts on her face and that made him feel a new kind of anger. He knew for sure that they needed to keep him away from Donnie Pfaster or else he’d be facing his own set of assault charges. “Asshole” he thought to himself. The case had made him uneasy and he felt immeasurable guilt for bringing Scully into this in the first place. He wondered if she would come to blame him too eventually, which led to even more feelings of shame. Should he have quit while he was ahead? Should she have left the X-Files the moment she found herself in the forest waking up on the cold ground after being knocked out? Were they both in too deep? They had both lost so much in their lives. Mulder felt selfish at times knowing that if Scully had been assigned to any other department in the FBI, she wouldn’t have woken up in a hospital with no idea how she even ended up there and no one who could even fully explain it to her.

“She’s been through hell and back. I can’t let this happen to her again.” he thought. Scully was a badass and while he knew she didn’t need a protector and the thought of Mulder insisting on “babysitting” her would likely piss her off, he still felt semi-responsible. And like he failed her.

———

Mulder held Scully’s hand tightly (but avoided grabbing it too tightly as not to scare her again) as he walked her to the car. He brought her to the passenger side and opened the door for her. Her hands were still shaking as was her whole body. He wanted to keep an eye on her even just walking. She seemed a bit wobbly and was still wearing her heels. Mulder almost considered carrying her but figured that would be too much even. She didn’t need any more injuries. He reached across her to put her seatbelt on when she looked at him again.

“Mulder, you don’t need to do all of this” she finally said. “I’m okay”

Even though those words came from her mouth, Mulder knew they were far from the truth.

After he got in the car and started it in order to get some heat going, he leaned over the console to talk to her. “Where would you like to go?” He asked.

“I want to go home… I think.” she replied after a few moments. She honestly didn’t know. Was her apartment still safe? The place she had been taken from unexpectedly one night? She suddenly felt reluctant to go there. But where else would she go? Scully felt torn.

“We’ll get the next flight, I promise” Mulder said, reassuringly. Somehow even throughout all of this, he could calm her down faster than anybody else probably could. Even her mother and sister wouldn’t be likely to have that same effect. Perhaps it was because Mulder was the one that had every detail of their cases, she still didn’t know exactly how you would be able to bring up the time you and your partner had to inspect each other’s bodies because of a dangerous worm in Alaska to Melissa. She surely wouldn’t want to tell her mother about that one.

Scully realized she had zoned out again and was getting lost in her own thoughts. “Okay”. She didn’t make the flight schedules and neither did Mulder. There really wasn’t anybody to blame here. A motel would have to work for now. Maybe it was even safer, she sometimes still had issues in her apartment and trying to get comfortable at night. She double and triple checked her door locks every night before bed and never left doors or windows open after the Tooms incident. Curtains had to be closed at all times. Loud noises even could make her jump and she had even developed a new fear of being abducted every time she went to take a shower.

“Will you… stay though?” Scully asked. She hadn’t planned on saying those words and even surprised herself. She thought she would just be “sucking it up” tonight honestly even if she would have preferred something else.

Mulder nodded. “Yeah, I can” he said, somewhat softly. Tiny tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. Mulder kept one hand on the wheel and patted her shoulder with the other.

———-

The room was about as basic as it gets. One queen-size bed with a maroon bedspread, matching curtains, tan walls, and just one brown dresser with a small TV on it. She wanted to scope out the bathroom because she was hoping to at least get the blood, closet dust, and every last bit of Pfaster off of her. Mulder set her suitcase on the bed on one side. He dropped his on a chair in the corner of the room. Scully sat on the end of the bed looking at the door to the bathroom and found herself unable to move. She stared blankly at the door.

Mulder noticed her frozen state. “Scully? You okay?” He asked but then immediately began kicking himself mentally for saying that. “She’s been through hell, she’s not okay” he thought. Who could be?

“Um… she replied in a high-pitched whisper. “I want… I need…” she was searching for the words. “to clean up” she eventually squeaked. Neither one of them had ever heard that sound come out of her mouth.

“Do you want a shower?” Mulder asked, realizing what she was likely attempting to vocalize.

“Yeah” Scully said, looking down at her feet “I want to wash up before bed”

“Okay. Would you like me to find your pajamas?” Mulder asked. He dared not go through her suitcase without explicit permission.

“Yes”

He opened it up. Everything was neatly folded. He found a pair of blue satin pajamas. He wasn’t sure he should go looking for the rest. Even the quick glimpse he got of a pale pink bra made him feel like a pervert, which was the last thing she needed, even though he needed to move it aside to grab the pajamas.

“What else do you need?” Mulder asked.

Scully finally managed to stand up. She had kicked off her heels and was standing barefoot now. He noticed just how tiny she was. Yet she had fought off an adult man while having her hands tied together. Small but mighty indeed. He admired that but wasn’t sure a compliment was fitting at this time and a joke surely wasn’t.

She didn’t stay up for long before deciding to sit again. She felt like her body was still shaking and she could jump out of her skin again. More tears started to come.

“Scully?” Mulder asked, dropping the pajamas on the bed before running to her side. He kneeled down to be at eye level with her sitting. She wanted to look at him but was frozen and staring at her shaking hands resting on her lap.

“Mulder” she finally managed to say. “Is that the only word I know right now?” she thought to herself.

“Yeah?” he lightly placed his left hand on hers

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” she began to stumble with her words again. “Is there a window in the bathroom?” she finally whispered.

Mulder looked over his shoulder. There wasn’t. Thank God.

“I need to go” she said. Then she unintentionally paused. She was shaking again. “What the hell?” Scully thought to herself “of all the times to freeze”. Her embarrassment amplified once more. She wasn’t sure if she felt more humiliated in her life. Having Bill Jr. walk in the second her crush back in the day kissed her for the first time didn’t have her face quite this scarlet red.

“Where do you need to go?” He asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“No, no, no…” she managed again. “I need to go to the bathroom. I’m scared that there may be a window, I don’t want anyone watching me”

“Now, I sound paranoid here” Scully cursed her brain yet again.

“There won’t be, I promise” he reassured her. “Would you like a hand getting there though?”

He stood up and she took his arm. She didn’t even need to say a word. He led her there, she clicked the door though to lock it and checked it three times before actually using the bathroom and it was a miracle to her that the lock even existed. As she was washing her hands, she noticed the marks on her wrist from being tied up. Now she was crying and struggling to breathe.

Mulder was trying his hardest to give her as much privacy as possible. She definitely did not need to feel violated again but the sobs now were too loud to ignore. “Scully?” He asked “are you crying?”

“Yeah” she admitted. She managed to unlock and open the door. If he had needed to kick it down, her embarrassment would have been completely off-the-charts. Who was she kidding?

“I can’t keep this up. I can’t keep lying to my partner. He’s my best friend.” She thought. “I should be able to tell him anything”

While the majority of their non-work conversations during their time together were mostly about mundane topics like favorite books and musical tastes (car radio rules had been firmly established by the end of their case in Iowa). The personal conversations were mostly often about their families, friends, growing up, and occasionally a random college throwback story (they both had some good ones). Scully knew that if she wanted to discuss her emotions and feelings surrounding all of the things she had seen would most likely be understood in the way she would respond to Mulder doing the same. Getting those conversations started however, that was arguably the hardest part.

“Scully, Scully” Mulder said. He hugged her again. He didn’t even know what to say at this point. He knew she was a strong woman and that included being vulnerable at times. The two weren’t mutually exclusive. Anything she had to say, he wanted to hear it. Good or bad.

“I’m here. Please, just tell me what you need and I’ll do what I can.” She looked up at him and he once again noticed her cut up chin. That made him want to cry too.

“Mulder.” She said. Her tears started to stop and he handed her a tissue from the bathroom. “I think I can do this. I can shower. Please. Just make sure no one comes in.”

He gave her a slight smile, trying to make sure he didn’t accidentally appear overjoyed or anything. “Of course” he said as he walked over to get the pajamas and a pair of light purple underpants.

“Thanks” she said, taking the clothes into her arms. “I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time, There’s no rush. I’m here, you’re safe with me” Mulder said. Scully smiled a tiny bit.

She emerged from the shower about 15 minutes later. Thankfully, it had been uneventful and now she also felt that a small portion of the filth from the case had been scrubbed away. It would definitely take a lot more showers and some good baths the exact way she liked, but Scully had to start somewhere. The faint vanilla scent of the motel-provided shampoo and soap was helpful and actually pleasant. She was in her favorite sky blue satin pajama set and the fabric felt great against her skin and not too restrictive.

Mulder looked at her. She looked beautiful with her wet hair, as it was drying, he noticed the slight waves it formed that she usually styled before leaving her apartment each day. She was amazing.

“Mulder” she said again as she sat on the bed. “I really want to thank you,” Scully began. “You’ve been amazing. You really… you’re the best. You’re so supportive and just…” she stammered for a second “thank you”.

“Scully, please don’t thank me. You don’t need to” Mulder said as he sat down next to her. He feared getting too close and scaring her off but she actually scooted over towards him a tiny bit. He took that as a sign that it was okay for him to touch her hand that was resting between them. She looked up with a tiny smile. He was just glad to see it, even though he could still tell that she was struggling. One step at a time. He knew she’d be okay.

“Mulder. You’ve been so patient. I don’t know what happened these last few months. I remember so little and that is terrifying but I know you’ve been there. Melissa told me everything, my mom did too. They both really appreciate you too, you know” Scully said. She had been struggling to look at anything but the ground earlier tonight but right now, she was looking into his big hazel eyes and finding the same comfort in them she did way back in Bellefleur.

She leaned even closer to Mulder and rested her head on his chest. He pushed a couple strands away from her face, not caring one bit that her hair was still damp. That didn’t matter to him. Scully mattered to him. She had become his world and his everything.

Scully’s thoughts had begun to race a little less as she snuggled up to Mulder. She hoped she wasn’t bothering him or making him uncomfortable but he seemed fine. She knew that it was going to take a lot of time to process the events of the last year or two but she had a feeling that having at least a trustworthy partner, literally by her side, there was hope.

And there always would be.

————-

Wowzers. I had been thinking about writing something post-abduction arc and also after Irresistible for years (not an exaggeration either) and this seemed like the perfect time. I really hope you LOVE this @skelethalprism and I hope you are having an amazing summer!

Thanks so much too for reading 💜

(Credit to xfilesarchive.com too for the screencaps in the pictures)

[sagan-starstuff]

Leiascully Fic Recs

In honour of my dear friend @leiascully , here are 40 of my favourite of her fics. Leia writes a Mulder and Scully that I always recognise. They're smart, they feel deeply, they're imperfect and they can have sharp edges. And she's very generous with the smut as well. She's been in the fandom since the old days and has a huge library of fic available on ao3. She has something new and exciting on the way, so keep an eye out!

Baseball Metaphors 

Absolute top quality MSR right here. There’s fake couple, there’s banter, there’s slow burn, there’s hot smut, there’s deep love, what more could you ask for?

Rating: E

Words: 30,081

Summary: When you run into your ex, you pretend you're dating your partner. Sometimes things spiral from there.

Favourite line: She smiles up at him. "This was a bad idea."

He grins back. "Terrible. One of the worst you've had in the years I've known you."

A Cabin In The Woods

I love this fic. Love it. So very, very much. It's a quiet series of vignettes that act almost a Scully character study. It's beautifully written and feels like life: awesome and mundane, serene and restless, comfortable and wanting. Treat yourself.

Rating: T

Words: 13,768

Summary: Mulder and Scully, on the run, stay for a while in a cabin in the mountains in Montana. A series of interlacing vignettes.

Favourite line: In an abstract way, she misses Monica and her mother, Doggett and Skinner. But she has spent so much more time missing Mulder. The reservoir fills slowly but surely, restoring that part of her to equilibrium, but there are other absences that can never be redeemed, not in this world, not by mortal means. Something about the cabin, the mountains, the quiet makes all of that a little less unbearable. The wilderness requires nothing and everything of her in a way that makes her feel whole and competent and insignificant all at once. She remembers the feeling from church when she was younger. She has not felt it for many years. She wasn’t aware how much she missed it. It isn’t something she can explain to Mulder, whose worshipful gaze turns upwards, but toward mysteries she will never fathom.

adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, supplication  

This is a special one that explores how the trauma they have experienced might weave its way into their physical relationship. 

Rating: M

Words: 2,051

Summary: Sex is easy for them, after all the years of lofty intellectual foreplay. Sex is difficult for them, too. Arousal and fear walk the same paths.

Favourite line: Gooseflesh ripples her skin and she forgets to breathe, and it feels like love, and it feels like terror. They both have their too-tender places where the nerves are laid bare. There are times he starts to move against her and then shies like a skittish horse.

the alchemy

Delicate IVF fic that breaks and heals your heart all at once. 

Rating: M

Words: 1,401

Summary: This is the moment, he understands. This is what could make or break them, after everything they’ve endured. Total honesty or nothing.

Favourite line: There’s something primal about how territorial he felt about her during the IVF process. He felt larger, heavier, tangibly aware of her relative delicacy. He prowled at her side, showing his eyeteeth to Skinner, sensitive to any attempt to invade their pride of two.

And They Lived

Family fic perfection complete with William squeezing an apple cider doughnut with his chubby baby hands. 

Rating: M

Words: 1,815 Summary: Mulder, Scully, Emily, and William enjoy a nice day at the pumpkin patch as a family.

Favourite line: “Mom, you never let us have two sweet treats in one day.” Emily was suspicious, but it didn’t stop her from taking a big bite of her doughnut. Will was already plowing through his, squeezing it in his chubby fists. He knew better than to argue.

April 25th Is The Perfect Date

Sweet little number in which Mulder gets rejected over and over. 

Rating: T

Words: 769

Summary: Mulder keeps trying to ask Scully out on a date, but she seems oblivious.

Favourite line: “There was clear intent,” she teased. “I saw how you licked that whipped cream off the fork before you handed it to me. It was clearly foreshadowing of your lingual abilities.”

Breakfast & Bed

A perfect morning after, they deserve to be this happy.

Rating: T

Words: 912

Summary: Mulder cooks breakfast for Scully after their first night together.

Favourite line: Something about the morning light made him look like a cloud had passed, leaving everything about him brighter. She had done that. They had done it together.

Caller ID

Companion piece to Light Refreshment 😉

Rating: E

Words: 770

Summary: When Bill called, Scully was a little distracted.

Favourite line: “Well,” Mulder said, “I know it’s not Easter yet, and I know you had a pretty, uh, full morning, but I’m happy to report a miracle: he is risen.”

Common Pleasure

The old five times and one format on the excellent subject of cunnilingus.

Rating: E

Words: 3,604

Summary: Many times Mulder and Scully went down on each other.

Favourite line: “I’ll eat you up, I love you so,” she says, slithering down the sleeping bags on her belly.

Consume

We all know that Mulder eats pussy like a champ and I love how Leia’s Scully gives as good as she gets.

Rating: E

Words: 1,026

Summary: She hadn’t tasted him yet. The thing between them was too new and they’d been focused on more mutual pleasures.

Favourite line: There was enough good Catholic girl left in her to relish the rebellious ambiance of black leather, even if, in the end, Mulder was more lost boy than bad boy.

Control

Emotional post-Pusher pegging fic. Scully taking care of Mulder in more than one way.

Rating: E

Words: 1,728

Summary: Putting herself between Mulder and the world was all she could do, knowing that one day, it wouldn't be enough. But tonight, she'd taken control. Tonight, she'd been the one who shaped Mulder's reality.

Favourite line: "When I can't trust myself, I can trust you," he said, and buried his face in her shoulder.

Days of Rain

We’re with Scully throughout this beautiful season 7 fic, full of bittersweet loveliness. It’s an oldie and it’s absolutely a goodie. 

Rating: M

Words: 6,141

Summary: She was Heisenberg's uncertainty: Mulder's skeptical disciple, a professional woman in love, a barren mother.

Favourite line: I love this fic and could choose so many but this one (written 16 years before we met) seems designed for me: She wasn't his first love. How could she be? He had a heart as defenseless as Belgium: women rolled right over him in three days.

Decompress

Written for me when I had had a long day. 

Rating: T

Words: 920

Summary: Scully's had a long day. Mulder orders takeout.

Favourite line: He did this for her: saw her aching inarticulate need and brought her gifts to nourish her, body and soul.

Don’t Rub Me The Wrong Way

I adore this Syzygy fic, they are so angry but Leia keeps it the right side of mean. They fight so hard because they care!

Rating: E

Words: 2,101

Summary: He expected Scully knocking on the door to his motel room. What he didn’t expect was for her to kick the door closed behind her and shove him up against the wall.

Favourite line: It’s all my favourite line. The whole fic. But this is iconic: ​​He drank her down like he was some motherfucking pussy sommelier: notes of citrusy tang balanced by the musk of a long day’s sweat.

Dress-Up

Very hot and fun with Mulder in some male lingerie. Maybe one day– if we’re very, very good– we might be blessed with another chapter.

Rating: E

Words: 6,674

Summary: Mulder wishes Scully still had those white cotton panties from the Pilot. Scully wishes Mulder would slip into something black and sexy and do some funky poaching.

Favourite line: She leans up on one elbow and watches him ogle her breasts as they shift. Mulder, unsurprisingly, is extremely visual. If she opened her legs a little further, he’d follow his own line of sight all the way into the V of her thighs and bury his face in her cunt.

Endeavors Too Short Of Desires

Full of season 6 Mulder yearning. 

Rating: T

Words: 4,523

Summary: Not all wisdom has benefits, he thinks: too wise to woo, they are stuck in the stasis of longing and denial.

Favourite line: Every now and then he remembers she is someone's little sister.

Fever Dream

This fic makes me keyboard smash. Love a horny meeting fic, this one is short but it has everything you need.

Rating: M

Words: 966

Summary: Scully is distracted in a meeting by thoughts of what happened the previous night with Mulder. Skinner is not amused.

Favourite line: "I'll make sure she gets what she needs," Mulder assures him, putting one hand on her back. Skinner knows, Scully's sure of it, but he just lets them pass without another word.

Get Lucky

I love how comfortable they are with each other in this SOSS fic.

Rating: E

Words: 2,688

Summary: “Come on,” she said, pausing with her fingers on the last button of her shirt. “For once we agreed. The guy was lucky. The luckiest man on earth.”

“He can’t be,” Mulder said. “I’m the luckiest man on earth.”

Favourite line: “Mulder,” she said, and he savored the sound of his name on her lips. “I want your mouth.”

“Where?” he asked, because she liked it when he acted like a little shit, to a point.

Grand Slam

A season 8 fic that allows them to be human and angry and messy and unfair on their way to reconnecting.

Rating: M

Words: 2,555

Summary: Maybe he'll kiss her, maybe he'll storm out: either way, they'll have reached a tipping point.

Favourite line: "You never miss a chance to needle me about my tattoo," she says. It's a completely unfair statement, the kind of deranged nonsense that only couples say to each other, and she didn't even mean to put "needle" and "tattoo" in the same sentence.

Have It Your Way

Tasty little morsel of our lil guys out after a long day.

Rating: T

Words: 1,104

Summary: She sees the white and blue sign of a Culver’s looming like an angel. Her stomach growls. On top of everything else, she’s on her period, and the idea of a burger stokes a need deep inside her. “There,” she says.

Favourite line:  He picks up his shake and his jacket and tips his head inquisitively, and Scully follows him, feeling the eyes tracking them out of the restaurant. She ignores them. They always draw attention, regardless of what they’re doing. She’s just glad no one’s hit on Mulder yet. She’s not sure she’d tolerate that well today.

Heaven Is A Place On Earth

I’m such a slut for Mulder is huge fics, this is one of my favourites. A perfect example of Leia’s incredible talent for writing smut.

Rating: E

Words: 1,331

Summary: No if, ands, or bees; or: what would have happened if the FTF outtake kiss (tongues edition) was real.

Mulder and Scully's first time, set during Fight The Future.

Favourite line: I knew you were…substantial,” she said. “But I can’t say I expected this.”

He knows. Phoebe used to drag her palm down the length of him when they were out with friends. Showing him off, she always said, but it was embarrassing. He’s not embarrassed when Scully touches him.

Here’s A Hand In Thine

Early MSR, they were just babies! 

Rating: T

Words: 3,798

Summary: After their Firewalker quarantine, Mulder invites Scully to the Lone Gunmen's New Year's Eve party.

Favourite line: God. Mulder. Most of the time she was ambivalent to his charms, recognizing them but relatively unaffected. Then there were nights like these, where everything he did dragged over her libido like a bow across cello strings. She didn’t even have a full moon to blame. If she was turning into some kind of were-Scully, sniffing at his trail and sinking her fangs in deep, she had only herself to blame.

Hurl Clichés At Me

I love this “surprisingly unprudish” and composed Scully and this blushing but very up for it Mulder. I will never get over my favourite line.

Rating: E

Words: 3,153

Summary: "You do have some pretty bad pickup lines, Scully."

Favourite line: "Go make sure your room is locked," she says. "And maybe put your weapon away."

He glances down automatically at his pants, and she laughs at him. It's more like a snort, honestly, but it's still pretty damn hot.

"The one the Bureau issued you," she clarifies.

I & love & you

Short and sweet, exactly what it sounds like: Scully telling Mulder she loves him.

Rating:

Words: 305

Summary: She tells him every day.

Favourite line: All the times she’s watched him walk away and known it could be the last time, and she never said it until now, by accident, apropos of nothing as they’re about to go to lunch.

I Can See You (Up Against The Wall With Me)

Poor Skinner. We get to see them through his eyes during the SOSS and it is HOT.

Rating: M

Words: 1,464

Summary: Skinner goes out to a bar and catches Mulder and Scully there on a date during the Season of Secret Sex.

Favourite line: Six years of restraint, abandoned. I mean, goddamn, I’d seen them make a handshake look like a hard fuck. I could only imagine what they were actually getting up to in the bedroom. Or the bar bathroom. Or, and I don’t know why this hadn’t occurred to me before, their isolated basement office.

if the truth forgets about us

Oh the pain of the cancer arc. Gets you between the ribs.

Rating: E

Words: 2,628

Summary: Both of them understood this was likely to be a singular encounter. They were running out of time.

Favourite line: He hissed between his teeth, a sound of pain. “Don’t.” Tears rose in a hot rush behind his sinuses. He could see one gleaming in the corner of her eye too. He wanted to kiss it away, to ingest the salt of her.

The Inequity of Lingerie

Lovely revival era fic where Scully is treated to a gift and a little striptease. 

Rating: E

Words: 3,215

Summary: A very early or very late birthday present that doesn't involve a batting cage.

Favourite line: He throws in some groovy moves that he knows look more goofy than suave. Anything to keep his hands off himself. She’ll tell him when she’s ready.

Keep Christmas With You (All Through The Year)

It’s delicious. The fetch quest grocery store trip, the buying dish soap to wash the newly bought mugs, the banter, the consorting, all of it.

Rating: M

Words: 6,512

Summary: Mulder and Scully are snowed in at the end of a case. Will they consort in the same hotel room while on assignment? Will they ever!

Favourite line: “I’m not a hurricane, Scully.”

“And yet you come with a flash flood warning.”

He frowned. “Because of the tears when we leave town?”

“No,” she said. “I was thinking more about the inundation of local basements.”

The penny dropped. “Scully!”

Light Refreshments

I love it when Leia takes the pals yapping and turns it into gems of fic like this one.

Rating: M

Words: 572

Summary: When Skinner called for an update on the stakeout, Mulder was a little distracted.

Favourite line: She had a Cheshire cat smirk. “I’m amazed you held off, and frankly a little disappointed in myself.”

One Day I’ll Wish Upon A Star

Post Rain King delightful first time fic. 

Rating: M

Words: 2,106

Summary: There was only one bed in Scully’s room.

Naturally.

Favourite line: It was unfortunate that every time she’d straddled him up until now had been for medical reasons.

“I know you’re checking for symptoms,” he mumbled as she gazed into his eyes, kissed him, gazed again, tipped his face from one side to the other with her dexterous little fingers.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied cheerfully.

One Lonely Night

A first time fic full of tenderness born out of one brave decision.

Rating: E

Words: 2,574

Summary: "Why have we been lonely for so long?"

Favourite line: “Scully,” he whispers. "Is this happening?“

She sits back, her hand still splayed over his chest. "Do you want to stop?”

“No,” he says immediately, and then calms himself. "No. I just want to make sure it’s what you want. I think you know I’ve wanted this for a long time.“

"I know,” she says. "I haven’t wanted it any less than you have.“

"You never said anything.” He looks a little lost. The trepidation in his eyes strikes her somewhere undefinable, maybe even in her soul. 

“I thought you knew,” she says.

The only thing I ever wanted will be standing at my door

The logical outcome of the closet worm check in Ice.

Rating: E

Words: 2,660

Summary: The logical part of her knew her hunger for him was honed by the terror she’d felt earlier, “fight or flight” transmuted into “fight and fuck”. But they hadn’t fucked in the storeroom where Mulder had been imprisoned, and the impulse had gnawed at both of them for the rest of the day.

Favourite line: Mulder’s grin was probably a controlled substance in at least six states. She watched his eyes calculate the number of condoms and then rake over her body again. She shivered, letting him see the need in her. Yes, she wanted to use them all. Yes, she wanted him anywhere. Everywhere. She’d wanted him since she met him. She wasn’t going to die in an Arctic research facility without having her fill of him.

palimpsest

A shortie but goodie about Scully’s adoration of Mulder.

Rating: M

Words: 795

Summary: When Mulder moves in her, it’s like poetry.

Favourite line: All this time later and she still feels such profound gratitude when he touches her. His tenderness seems infinite; she’s never found its bounds. She flings love into the well of him and never hears an echo.

Pink Pilates Princess

When Spotify started spewing out its nonsense and dubbed me a pink pilates princess, Leia wrote this perfect little treat for me. Mulder in full himbo gear, being a very silly, very sweet man.

Rating: T

Words: 933

Summary: Mulder's hiding something, so Scully follows him.

Favourite line: “It’s good for my core,” he says mournfully.

POÄNG

The fic that started it all. I love everything about it. Horny Scully, yearning away. Playful Mulder, driving her insane. Their weird mating dance, how they’re still getting their signals slightly crossed all the way to consummation. They’re such freaks (affectionate)

Rating: M

Words: 4,435

Summary: The solve high hits Scully right in the libido. A trip to IKEA doesn't help.

Favourite line:  She wonders if her pupils are dilated as she gazes up at him. She wants to push him up against the wall, but there’s a cabinet in the way. He’d hit his head, and he’s had enough cranial trauma. She’s his doctor. She knows better.

Relax

Completely G rated caretaking porn. 

Rating: G

Words: 925

Summary: "Sit back, relax, and enjoy your quarter 'til Valentine's pampering, Scully," he told her. "And if you need any help undressing, I'm here for you."

Favourite line: There were moments now when she felt like they had the normal, perfect life she'd dreamed of when she was younger, but phase-shifted into something approaching reality. She hadn't known herself then, not the way she did now. She hadn't known what she needed her life to be: here, in this unremarkable house, with this wholly remarkable man.

Siren Song

This fic is something a bit different to Leia’s usual recognisably human Mulder and Scully and it’s pure magic!

Rating: E

Words: 4,403

Summary: Navy sailor Dana Scully, in disguise as Daniel, has a very close encounter of the mer kind.

Favourite line: She blushed, wondering if he’d felt her wonder at being held, the tiny ember of desire he’d kindled in her belly. A ripple again, as he gave her a one-sided smile: yes, he’d noticed. He’d felt it too.

Sláinte 

This one stings real bad and is technically Scully/Other which is really not normally my thing, but at the same time you will never, ever convince me that this isn’t MSR at its core. 

Rating: M

Words: 13,611

Summary: Despite the occasional passing interest in dating, she passes the majority of her time with him. He's aware that he likes it that way, has been engineering Scully-traps since the slides he showed her the day they met. He baits her with conundrums and impossible questions and then sits smugly, luxuriating in her company. He has let her leave or lose anyone else who mattered to her. Maybe he can offer her the boys from the lab as a stopgap, a seawall built against her loneliness.

A slightly alternate Season 4.

Favourite line: He loves her more than he has ever loved anything in this world, including the memory of his sister; his envy battles with a genuine contentment that there is some comfort for her here, in this place he disdains, with this man he resents.

Take It Like A Champ

I love how annoyed, endeared, adoring, horny, loving and irritated Scully is in this fic. And how Mulder takes it like a champ, of course. 

Rating: E

Words: 9,162

Summary: Scully thinks they're on vacation. Mulder thinks they're on a case. Good agents don't consort while on assignment, but they really, really want to.

Favourite line: “I’d stay there again,” he said. “Recreationally.”

“Oh? Are you seeing someone?”

He stopped suddenly in the middle of the passageway. She stopped too and looked at him curiously. He took her face between his hands and kissed her. It was profound. It was passionate. It was making her weak in the knees in the middle of a fucking airport. She put her hands on his waist to steady herself.

“It wasn’t because this is a secret, Scully,” he said. “I’d get your name tattooed in five inch letters on my ass tomorrow if that’s what you wanted.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I know. The work matters. It was just weird not to be on the same page.”

Wide Open

This absolutely happened, you will never convince me otherwise.

Rating: E

Words: 1,447

Summary: "You came and you cracked the case."

Favourite line: "What about a system of tunnels?" she asked. "A link to the outside world."

"Scully," he said, raising his head a little. "I'm a little busy."

"I know," she said. "Keep going."

[sagan-starstuff]

people have spent decades calling fox mulder a liar when all he's ever been is painfully, relentlessly honest.

he, in fact, does NOT gaze at dana scully, no. gazing is too simple for my guy. too shallow. and what he feels for her is anything but.

he beholds her like a man newly converted, like she's the sole prophet of beauty and common sense, like she's the answer to every prayer he's never been devout enough to say, like she's the source of gravity and he's been floating dumbly until now, like she's the only language worth learning. he looks at her with a thirst both holy and unholy — reverent, ravenous, and just a tad bit ridiculous.

so, yes, he doesn't just gaze; he studies, and he consumes, and he unravels, and he breathes, and he drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks.

[sagan-starstuff]

Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: The X-Files Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully Characters: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, William Scully-Mulder Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s02e13 Irresistible (X-Files), Post-Episode: s03e23 Wetwired, Post-Episode: s04e23 Demons (X-Files), Episode: s06e15 Arcadia (X-Files), Post-Episode: s07e04 Millennium (X-Files), 5+1 Things, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully in Love Summary:

Scully and Mulder get into the habit of (literally) sleeping together when a case puts one or both of them in mortal peril.

Or, five times Mulder or Scully couldn’t sleep, and one time their son couldn’t.

—–

now that it’s finally no longer anonymous, i can share this fic i wrote for the happily ever after exchange!! it’s pretty self-explanatory lol :)

[sagan-starstuff]

Dana Scully can canonically want children and it can still be infuriating how the choices of how to have those children were taken from her through both forced sterilization and forced pregnancy. We don’t have to write out her desire for motherhood to be feminists or to criticize the myth arc.

[sagan-starstuff]

this is fucking insane.

the second clip especially...

[sagan-starstuff]

Don't Prompts: 14. Don't hide it

A huge thank you to the workshop group @frangipanidownunder, @2plumsandagherkin, @how-i-met-your-mulder, @scapegrace74-blog, @emilysim, @myownsuperintendent for their comments and help! I went with the change and I’m not sure it works? You all be the judges :) 

The first time Mulder touches Scully’spregnant stomach it’s an accident. As much as he can’t pretend that she’s withchild, his mind blocks out the challenges this fact provides. They’re in hiskitchen. Nothing has changed here except the level of cleanliness. He opens acupboard to get a glass. His mouth is dry and in desperate need of water.Scully is telling him something; she sputters words he can’t comprehend. Hehasn’t told her, doesn’t know how, but he’s happy she’s here. He’s happy to behearing her voice. The real one and not the one in his dreams. Mulder doesn’tremember much from his abduction except the blinding pain. It feels like amovie, sometimes. Rapid sequences of action exploding in front of his eyes whenhe does remember. One thing he is certain of, though; has kept like a talismanin the palm of his hand, and that is Scully’s voice. It drowned out the painthen and now. It heals his gaping wounds.

Mulder gulps down two glasses of icycold water before he leaves the glass in the sink. He stares at it for a momentfeeling out of place. This is his apartment, or it should be. It doesn’t feellike it. He feels like a guest here. Just a visitor. Mulder turns around andthere she is. They’ve been in this kitchen many times before. Not as often asthey’ve been other places, but they’ve been here. This time, though, it’s asthough there is not enough space. He bumps against her stomach and gasps. Itbounces against him like an inflated balloon. They both stand still, too still.Mulder is looking down at her, at her stomach. He’s never allowed himself to lookat it like this. Only out of the corner of his eye, like a guilty pleasure. Nowhe is confronted with it. He still feels it, a phantom trace against his ownstomach.

Before today all he’s dared to do iswatch her out of the corner of his eye. It wasn’t a conscious choice; he knowsthat she knows that he’s thinking about it. The baby. His mind wanders thepaths of why, of how and when. The three big questions. He’s asked her once howshe’s feeling, a habit. The question tumbled out of his mouth as they werewalking towards his apartment. Scully, her face flushed, her body heavy andslow, turned to him, mumbled an I’m fine, Mulder. Just like always. So he keepsthe charade up; he keeps swallowing the questions he has like the pills shehands him on a daily basis. Every once in a while his eyes will linger on hers.Everything about her is softer these days. Her eyes, her face. Is her skinsofter, too? He wonders what her silky skin would feel like against his own,rough and scarred. Would he even be able to feel it at all?

He can look at her, even pretend that nothinghas changed. That he hasn’t been dead for three months. That he hasn’t beengone. That she isn't… that’s something he can’t pretend. Her pregnancy. He isnot sure he wants to and so he watches her; out of the corner of his eye. Whenhe allows himself to get lost in the depth of her eyes, a soft greenish bluethese days, where hints of terror and pain sometimes shimmer through, hepretends that they’re back where they’ve barely started. Old friends, newlovers. Then, as sure as the sun rising and setting, he will catch a glimpsewhen she’s in the corner talking to someone else, when she’s going about herdaily life; her belly protruding, reminding him. The proof of time passed. Ofthe fact that life moved on without him. Now he adds another moment, anotherlayer.

“I’m sorry.” Scully says andher voice cuts through him, the pain of her disappointment cutting deeper thanmetal blades. He knows a thing or two about these, now. But there’s no way totell her that he’s not sorry. That she of all people should know that sometimeshe needs a push into the right direction. She doesn’t move and neither does he.He can’t. He’s caught in this moment now; there is a decision to be made. Whodoes he want to be as a partner, a man and a… father? He can be the guy whokeeps watching her from a distance. His hand twitches. Every nerve in hisfingers is tingling with anticipation. Fear, too. But all he has to do is reachout.

Scully told him she’s prayed a lot.Mulder has not. He doesn’t pray; his faith is in the truth. Once, a lifetimeago, Mulder told Scully that the truth was in her. His eyes are on her belly,round with life. This is the truth, he realizes. The only one that matters. Hishand trembles as he closes the distance between them. The first sensation ismerely the feel of warm cotton under his skin. He presses softly against herand there it is again. Like a balloon that’s stretching against him. His mouthopens in awe but there are no words. He’ll have to learn new words, a newlanguage, to describe any of this. His hand begins to wander, wants to coverevery inch of new territory. A second hand joins in and he feels something, agentle shaking and he looks up into Scully’s face, his hands still firmlyplanted on her belly.

“Mulder.” His name leaves herlips as a prayer; a happy one, answered. He nods, though he is not sure heunderstands. “There are so many things I want to tell you. So many thingsI..” She trails off, tears dripping from her eyes and onto her cheeks. Shewipes them away quickly, angrily.

“Don’t hide it.” Mulder takesher hand into his. “Don’t hide it from me. Any of it. I have missed somuch already, Scully. I don’t want to miss a single thing.

"I’m just crying, Mulder. You’veseen me cry before. It’s the hormones, it’s-”

“It’s you. You don’t need to hideyour tears from me, Scully. Ever. I can only imagine how many times… when Iwas…” Mulder swallows. Who dried her tears when he was gone? When he wasburied? He swallows again; the bitter bile of time lost, of pain endured.“I’m here now. I’m not planning on going anywhere.” To prove it heputs his hands back on her stomach, fascinated by it. “Is it supposed tofeel like a small balloon?”

“More like basketball.”Scully chuckles.

“It feels amazing, Scully.”Mulder tells her with his hands firmly planted on their miracle inside of herand his eyes on hers. “I wish I could have been there for every kick. ButI will be now.” His voice is pure determination.

“I was never really without you,Mulder.” And he knows it. He feels it; feels it in the soft kick againsthis hand. His breath catches; his child. Their child. “Junior here kept mecompany. Kept me awake at night. Reminded me to eat and take good care ofmyself.” She smiles at him through her tears; the sun breaking throughheavy rain clouds. Looking at her, seeing love, he wonders how he ever couldhave doubted it; his place in her life, here.

“I’m known to keep you awake atnight,” Mulder admits, stroking her belly. The first time may have been anaccident, but the next million times he touches her stomach, any part of her,are a decision, a deliberate one. “But I think you’re usually the one toremind me to take care of myself. Not the other way around.”

“Hm, I guess the baby gets somethings from me, too, then.” They smile at each other, lost in this momentof blissful peace, of being connected. Tomorrow, even later today, they will bechallenged again. They will have to fight for moments like this one. Mulder isready. He is back. He is going to fight for Scully and their baby. His family.He is done watching from the sidelines.

[sagan-starstuff]

New fic! ✍️

The Apartment

By PiecesOfKate

The X-Files / MSR / fluff / humour / 2,743 words

Following an indiscretion in the cab, our tormented duo unravel in the summer heat.

Inspired by the heatwave we’re currently having in the UK. And because I wanted to use the AO3 character tag for Fox Mulder's fish.

Read on AO3

The afternoon sun spills through the window, resting on the nibbled surface of a time-eaten rug. Particles of dust dance on the beams, ethereal and undisturbed. The only sound comes from the corner of the room, where a goldfish swims its familiar path, a stretched figure of eight. A delicate trail of bubbles swells and then dissipates in its wake.

The apartment waits patiently. It sits still and humble. A poised stage. The furniture, present and correct. The stiflingly hot air thick with anticipation.

And then, the footsteps.

The fish stills.

A shadow under the door. A squeak of the handle. The players are here.

Mulder bursts into the room, flanked by Scully as she topples against him and grips his shoulder, steadying herself. Their breaths come in short, sharp bursts, filling the air with moisture.

Mulder reaches around her and pushes the door shut. He keeps his hand there, arm outstretched, as he catches his breath.

Scully’s eyes burn into his. Her chest heaves as she tries to speak. “Mulder…”

Mulder meets her gaze. “Scully,” he pants. “In the cab just now…”

“That was reckless,” she replies.

Mulder nods, his hand rising reflexively to the patch on his neck where her mouth had been moments ago. Her eyes follow. She can still taste his salty skin.

Blinking away the memory, she takes a step backward. This is okay. She is Dana Scully. A level-headed, measured, methodical person. In the cab she was a confused, tired, irrational mess.

Slowly and thoughtfully, “I think we're just really jetlagged.”

“So jetlagged.” Mulder nods his head rapidly in agreement, grateful for the reprieve.

Scully feels reassured. They had just travelled for 13 hours straight. Anyone would feel this way on so little sleep.

She watches his mouth curl into a schoolboy smile.

Anyone. Even… Skinner. Yes, think of Skinner.

“What are you thinking about?"

“Skinner.”

Mulder's eyes narrow.

Scully starts to speak, then suddenly she's reaching for a smudge of lipstick on his face. She grazes her thumb over the skin below his eye, like she's wiping a tear.

Mulder tingles under her touch. His mind is back in the cab too now, their hands everywhere, his body pressed against hers, devouring each other like water in the desert.

He closes his eyes, trying to detach himself from the moment but it only makes the flashback more intense. How did it even start? Did he initiate it or did she? It didn't seem to matter because their trains were on the same one-way track, there was no dispute at all, no room for blushed faces or frantic apologies, just a jumble of limbs and heat and desperation and the cab could have been on fire while they merely fanned the flames.

Back in the present, Mulder turns his face into her hand. He inhales and gets a rush of vanilla and coffee and what must to hell be some sort of aphrodisiac body spray or some other witchcraft, and honestly how long does it take to wipe some make-up off a person's face anyway?

He remembers karate classes in sixth grade and ‘kime’, meaning power and focus, a decisive moment of control. He's got this. He's got kime.

Read the rest on AO3

Tagging @today-in-fic

[sagan-starstuff]

I always feel like Mulder doesn't get enough/any comeuppance for the whole Diana arc. I know you have a list of Diana fics but do you have any specific recs for where he is truly made to suffer consequences?

Collector's Edition: One Son's Repentance

I believe Mulder's suffering and consequences were meted out in Biogenesis-Amor Fati: circumstances which forced him to confront and reform the cracked foundations in his psyche.

That aside: there weren't any on-screen scenes that addressed One Son's rift, now were there? And while the writers and actors and crew barreled onward towards more laughs and light times, viewers were left a bit short-changed, I'd say.

Which is what fanfic's for, isn't it?

Loose chronological order below~

@baronessblixen's

Never Cold With You By My Side

Her anger dissipates as she catches sight of Mulder in that too-small bed, looking like a giant sleeping in a dwarf’s bed. There’s half a smile on his face and a hopeful gleam in his eyes that disarms her. Tonight, it’s not enough. It may not be his fault that they’re locked in here, but when push came to shove, he chose Diana, the path of least resistance.

“I want to sleep,” she says, squashing whatever hope he might have had of making her laugh with his jokes tonight. “It’s been a long day,” she adds.

AU-- Mulder and Scully spend a night in Fort Marlene.

Mulder gets really mad at Scully for running from their feelings

“Look at me, Scully." 

"No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m giving you privacy.”

“I didn’t ask for privacy. I don’t want privacy.” I want you, his mind screams. 

“Well, why don’t you ask Agent Fowley back then. I’m sure she’d love to keep you company.” Before he can utter another word, she passes by him and walks out without a glance back.

One Son Mulder and Scully are at cross-purposes.

Fictober Day 18: At The Crossroads

“This isn’t just about us stranding here, is it?” She doesn’t answer. “Is it because of-”

“It’s not,” she says too quickly.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“It’s not because of anyone,” she says, turning to him and staring straight into his eyes. She won’t say the other woman’s name. She’s not important. “It’s because of me.”

“You don’t want to be doing this anymore.” Mulder lets go of her arm as though burned by her touch.

Post-One Son tensions are heightened by a broken-down rental and scorching temperatures.

Making Progress

“No, Diana. That was all you.” Mulder’s voice picks up, is louder now over the fake laughter on the screen. “No, I did not. Not once.” If only Scully could hear Diana’s side of the conversation. Mulder is quiet, appears to listen. He sighs once, runs his hand over his face.

“Scully is my partner, Diana.” Scully stands up straight, takes her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it. She should not be here, should not be listening in on this private conversation. But why can’t she leave?

Arcadia Scully overhears Mulder's phone call.

In Sickness And in Health (Ao3)

The waitress wanders off, leaving Mulder and Scully alone with their thoughts and their silence. He starts playing with the salt and pepper shakers, his hands unable to stay still. Scully wishes she had something to say. Anything. She watches and waits for the waitress and their food. Her stomach is in knots. She knows it’s not just because she hasn’t eaten anything in a while. It’s because of whatever is happening between her and Mulder. She wants things to go back to normal, but she still flinches when he touches her. The way he treated their first case back still leaves a sour taste in her mouth. The way he treated her, as his wife, even more so.

Maybe they should have sent Diana with him.

Post-Arcadia Scully and Mulder draw back together when she's hit with a nasty case of food poisoning.

@queeenpersephone/light_loves_the_dark's

wishbone

If Diana’s a liar, then Scully will be the only person to hold him without hurting him. And as much as he loves her, the idea that only one person has ever loved him without ulterior motives is almost unbearable. Is he that hopeless? Is he that unloveable? 

He’s ready to bark at Diana to give them a minute when Scully catches him by the wrist, and the fact that she’s still willing to touch him makes him hate everything a little less. He wants to touch her too: everywhere. To climb over her and into her and block out the past few months in the solace of her body. For now, he settles for turning back to her without a second thought to Diana, watching as she breathes in and out before speaking. “If you love me,” she says carefully, her voice breaking on love, “prove it.”

One Son Scully refuses to join Mulder and Diana.

in this metallic silence

“It has been six years,” Scully says quietly, like she is empty. Like she has lost a fight that he didn’t even know they were having. Lost a war while he has been on a different battlefield altogether. “If I am still just assigned to you, I should go.”

Post-One Son Mulder's trust in Diana is finally torn away after Scully is injured in the field.

Erin M. Blair's

Never Me

Does he trust me?

Sometimes, I wonder.

One Son Scully is fed up with the lies and deceit.

Mistaken Moments

"Are you going to quit?" asked Mulder.

"Is that what you think I should do?" inquired Scully. Her eyes flashed with anger at Mulder. "Sometimes I don't think you really trust me. You have droned on and on about how not to trust other people but then you placed your trust with Diana Fowley. And I wonder why." Mulder and Scully were both in the elevator towards the basement office. As Scully watched the floors go by, she turned towards Mulder, "I wonder why you trust her."

Post-One Son Skinner has to facilitate a vacation for his emotionally bruised agents.

@minuete-blog's Done

“No. We’re done. I’m done.” She looked at him slightly wide-eyed, stunned at her remark seeing the mirrored expression on Mulder’s face. Did she genuinely feel that way?

One Son Scully reaches her limit.

@contrivedcoincidences6/Spooky66/geektime66's Things you said #10 (Ao3)

He sees her there, still in her car but she doesn’t see him. Scully’s face is in her hands and her shoulders are shaking. The need to run and comfort her overwhelms him. He can count on one hand the times that he’s seen her cry.

Before he can second-guess himself he knocks on her window, startling her.

One Son Mulder promises to verify Diana's trustworthiness.

Diadem's

Scene 15 - Winner Takes All

Some little part of you must know that I love you. I never told you, it wasn't really necessary. But I'll be there when you fall, Mulder, and as always I'll be right beside you to pick you up again.

One Son Scully doesn't know what Mulder sees in Diana.

Maybe and Movement With Time

id he ever find me useful? Were my theories, my versions of events ever taken seriously, or was I simply around for amusement value? Did he ever find me attractive, as a woman, rather than a gun-toting authority figure? I thought he did. Maybe he didn't.

Post-One Son Scully navigates her complicated feelings with distance, looking for evidence of Mulder's loyalty and devotion.

Dianora's Impasse

The ride back from the Air Force hangar passed in tension-laden silence, none of the passengers in the car ready to discuss what they had seen, or the carnage they had witnessed. Despite her inner turmoil, Scully half-dozed for much of the ride, the physical and mental exhaustion of the past 24 hours finally catching up with her. She was looking forward to a long hot bath and then a good night's sleep, but when Skinner pulled up in front of Scully's apartment building, Mulder got out of the car too.

"What are you doing?" she asked, slamming the car door shut.

"I'm going in with you, so we can talk."

One Son Mulder stubbornly clings to Diana's friendship, forcing Scully to prod the limits of his loyalty.

Vehemently's Rainbow Sign

Agent Spender matched his white dress shirt, the arterial red a startling speckle on skin and cloth alike. Mulder noticed the gauze padding that blood was gluing to the man's ribcage. Scully, who had worked hard to forget her rotation in emergency medicine, saw instead the face upturned, nostrils gaping and half-open eyes revealing only the whites.

They stood together like that, in the hallway, while the elevator took on its passengers and began to close. Before the doors had closed all the way, the paramedics began shouting to each other. There was just a glimpse to be had of a man climbing astraddle the gurney before the doors were shut and all they saw were their own dull reflections.

Post-One Son Mulder pieces together the breadth of Diana Fowley's duplicity.

@is-on-its-way/Ophelia_is_a_nun's In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son (Ao3)

He did have to talk to Scully. The stooges had been a little bit right. He had been a jerk at their place. But not because Scully might have been wrong, because he had so much else on his mind that seemed so dire at the time. Preventing an invasion of colonist aliens for one. That when she’d made it clear she didn’t trust his judgement, it had been the last straw for his patience.  But he’d been dismissive and mean in a way he’d never been with her. He’d hurt her, and he was terrified she would leave him for good. He needed to try to make this right. 

Mulder, Scully, and the aftermath of One Son.

JLB's Car Ride

We haven't spoken for the last ten minutes, but I will not be the one to break the silence. I refuse to give in first even though I know that this entire situation is strange and I should make allowances. I'm driving Skinner's car, which he graciously offered to us since he had to stick around and oversee the official investigation. Part of me wishes I that I had insisted on staying, that I had just let Mulder take the car and go by himself. I could have caught a ride with someone else later. But then I would have been avoiding the inevitable, not confronting this head on. Not like I'm actually confronting anything now, but at least we're sitting in the same car, even if it is in complete silence.

But I refuse to speak first. I will not do it. For a variety of reasons. Yes, I'm still angry with him.

One Son Scully and Mulder are goaded into tears and confessions.

@all-these-ghosts/all_these_ghosts's what happened in the scene at the Lone Gunmen between Mulder and Scully in Two Fathers/One Son?

“I went to her apartment,” he says. For a moment his eyes lose focus, and she goes very, very still. “After what you said at the Gunmen’s. I went to see if I could find any evidence that she…that she’s what you say.”

She can’t keep the hope out of her voice. “Did you?”

“No.” And the hope evaporates. “But while I was there, the Smoking Man stopped by.”

Her eyes flash up to his. “At her apartment?”

“He said he was looking for his son,” Mulder says, “but I don’t—I don’t know anymore. Diana didn’t seem surprised by any of it. Not the fact that he was there, not the fact that the world as we know it was about to end.”

There are so many things she wants to ask him, but she stays quiet, waiting for him to go on.

Post-One Son Mulder and Scully are reinstated.

Vesalius's The Estrangement of Shared Purpose

At the sound of her voice, Mulder stopped and looked up. Scully solemnly held his gaze for a moment, and then spoke again.

"And if we..." she paused briefly, placing emphasis on the "we", "are going to look for answers, we need to talk."

Mulder stiffened, blinked slowly, and said quietly: "About?"

"About our ability to continue working together."

"Are you saying you want to quit?"

"No. I'm saying I have concerns about our ability to work together effectively as partners."

AU-- Post-One Son Scully's frustration forces Mulder to open up about his past.

Brandon D. Ray's There But By the Grace of God

Diana. How could I have been so wrong about her? How could I have failed to see the signs? Especially when my own partner, the one I have come to trust as no other, my one in five billion, kept trying to get through to me, kept rubbing my nose in the unpleasant facts that I didn't want to see, didn't want to hear, didn't want to know. How could I have been so blind?

Scully... I'm so sorry.

Post-One Son Mulder's contemplation.

Shoshana's Breathing Room

Mulder glanced through the peephole, saw Scully, and threw open the deadbolt. The knock had sounded familiar but he'd been nervous all day since young Spender's blood was found in their basement office. He was less concerned about Diana's whereabouts, not wanting to dwell on her betrayal.

He didn't want to think about his ex-partner and sometime friend because he didn't want to face Scully.

Post-One Son Mulder and Scully have an honest conversation about his guilt.

Jennifer Brady's Laughing Out Loud

"That's it? I sign this, and we're back?" I ask, running my fingers over Mulder's jittery scrawl.

He smiles a bit and nods. "That's it,"

I quickly grab a pen and try to unwrinkle the paper. Mulder's right behind me, I can feel his breath. All of a sudden, I am struck with a realization. If this is going to happen, it's going to be on my terms.

AU-- Post-One Son Scully seizes an opportunity to forge her own conditions.

@agent-troi, @tofuttim, and baronessblixen's Eden

Mulder’s arms wrapped around her completely, like he was afraid she would escape.

“What are you doing, Mulder?” she whispered.

“I…” his voice was tight, unsteady. “I need you to be still for a moment, to let your guard down and hear me. Can you do that?”

“Okay…” Scully said cautiously, realizing the warmth and pressure of his wrapped arms instantly brought her comfort.

“I’m sorry.”

AU-- Post-One Son Scully is furious over the events of the past few days (if not years.)

@alienbaby-babymama's 12 Days of Ficmas (Ao3)

 He didn’t want to believe it.

“You told me you loved me.” Diana barely hears his muffled statement but she’s prepared with her retort.

“I told you a lot of things I didn’t mean.”

Post-One Son Mulder has to know.

amorfati3215's

I watched AmorFati and actually had a dream about it last night.

When he’d walked into the office earlier that morning he’d hoped for an easy day; he had a headache brewing, no doubt a result of little sleep the previous night, and for once he just wanted to go eight hours without arguing with Scully.

Post-One Son Scully is not letting the matter go.

Prompt: Post ONE SON.

So instead she enquiredabout vacations further afield, and ten minutes later found herself booked on abreak to St Lucia in the Caribbean. Sun, sea, relaxation, not to mentioncopious amounts of rum and somewhere Mulder wouldn’t think to look - it wasjust what she needed. 

But now she was back, and as Scully walked into the Bureau building, she felt a ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach as she prepared to face her partner once again.

AU-- Post-One Son Scully finds herself replaced by Diana.

@foxmulders's daniel waterson just knocks on scully’s door, hoping to rekindle things

In all the years she’d known him, Daniel had never ended a lecture a minute early or a second late. Which is to say: The man had an uncanny sense of timing.

AU-- Post-One Son Daniel Waterston shows up on Scully's doorstep.

@gaycrouton's Up Close and Personal

"What part of 'I want to be alone' was confusing, Mulder?" she asked, venom lacing her tone. She took a few steps forward to confront him but was shocked at the damage her room had taken in such a short amount of time.

"Trouble in paradise?" an unexpected voice teased from behind her.

Scully jumped forward and whipped around, immediately making eye contact with the last person she expected to see: Alex Krycek.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder's distance is broken by a particularly cruel manipulation on Krycek's part.

@cecilysass's One Hand Tied (Ao3)

Scully doesn’t see the point of this kind of charade. Surely she understands that the gig is up. Surely she doesn't think anyone is fooled by this friendly, reasonable persona she puts on. Surely she doesn't think Mulder is softening towards her. Is she actually attempting to win him back?

There's abruptly a bitter taste in Scully's mouth behind the gag. She hopes that’s a ludicrous idea. But Mulder has not been entirely predictable where Diana is concerned.

AU-- Post-One Son Diana Fowley preys on Scully's growing distrust, ferreting Mulder away under the guise of lovestruck abandonment.

@actual-changeling's

the definition of insanity

They will try again tomorrow, and maybe it will be different, maybe they will mend and heal, maybe she will slide her fingers between his and squeeze.

Maybe they will find the truth tomorrow.

Post-One Son Scully is struggling to forgive.

agent_starbuck's What You Don't Know

“Scully…” he breathes, her name rolling thickly off his tongue, and her belly flutters at the way he says it. She hates that he can do that. Even when she’s furious at him. She settles a palm against her stomach, willing the sensation to go away. It never does.

Before she realizes it, he’s made his way to the living room, planting himself on the coffee table across from her.

“I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have second guessed you or your intentions. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But at least let me try to make amends.”

His confession is a breath of fresh air to her weary soul. It is definitely a start. But she needs more than his cool, practiced and calculated words.

Post-One Son Scully takes a personal day.

@lotsoforangesoutside's Mulder’s Chickadee (Ao3)

“Was she your partner like… I was?” Scully never beat around the bushes, he knew.

“Are you asking me…” His voice trailed off.

“The Boys called her your chickadee.” She spat. “Though I certainly don’t want to ever be reduced to Mulder’s Chickadee, yet… How personal was she to you, Mulder?”

He wondered if he should get up and put some clothes on. This is Scully, his heart reminded him, Scully will never hurt you.

His brain chose this exact moment to pipe up about him being shot in the shoulder.

Post-One Son Scully confronts Mulder over what TLG had said.

Defnotmeyo's Unnamed

Mulder will forever remember that from the last meeting in Kersh’s office, Jeffrey proved himself the bigger man.  

Dribble.  Bonk.  Mulder rebounds the ball.  The thunk of his dribble echoes in his maniac mind.  

There are more apologies to be made.  Considering Diana’s body was not among the remains of El Rico.  

“Thou-thought they could sleep with the enemy.”  A statement. A gaze.  A skeptical eyebrow.  And a billion apologies swallowed in Kersh’s office.

Post-One Son Mulder dribbles the ball as he processes.

Lynn Saunders's Unbreakable (Gossamer)

"Don't think, Scully. Don't talk. Just listen," he says in his rushed, single-minded manner, all in one breath. He has wandered through the grimy streets, through the storm raging outside, to stand here looming in her doorway, dangerous in his black leather jacket. His hair is slicked back, dripping rainwater down his collar.

"I don't know where things started going wrong or why we've been acting this way when we're together... but I'm not leaving until we fix it."

Post-One Son Scully brings to mind Melissa's courage.

@wtfmulder's Sharp Turn Blues

Scully looked surprised by his entrance which made him feel worse. It was her intention, then, to brush it all off, let it fester, only to add it to a checklist she could later refer to when she eventually came to her senses and left, like she’d threatened just days before. She sat on the floor with her knees tucked in, a microwaved meal going cold on the coffee table . Something dramatic and mind-numbing played on the TV.

“Mulder?” She asked, making no move to get up. She was tired, so, so tired, he could see it on her face. He imagined what it must have looked like before he’d burst in, the listless shoveling of bland food into a sullen mouth, a half hour flipping through channels only to land on something she didn’t even like.

Post-One Son Mulder confesses his feelings.

@sigritandtheelves/DarlaBlack's Hurt's Hopeful Plunder

She sat down again on the couch, farther from him this time. She stared at her fingers, which were folded in her lap. “Do you want to be with her?” Scully asked, her voice so low he could hardly hear.

He thought for a moment. Part of him did, maybe–the part that hated himself and thought he deserved whatever misery Diana had to offer up. But that part had always been prone lies and terrible self-destruction. What his heart wanted was right here, glowing in a rumpled bathrobe and bare feet, but bruised by his miserable tendencies. “No,” he said.

“Do you love her?” Impossibly, quieter. Still, she didn’t look at him.

Post-One Son Mulder's apology spills into more.

thenonexisting's life is just a game. - Chapter 1  

“You smell good, Mrs Petrie,” he rumbled.

Just like that, the veneer shattered.

“Stop.”

Hands thrown up, she pulled entirely away from him and hopped off the counter. Stumbling dizzily towards the sink, she ran the water and splashed her face. Wake up, Dana.

AU-- Arcadia Mulder and Scully have a short and painful post-One Son discussion.

Anne Haynes's Friendly, Whole, and First Day Back

Her dark eyes were sympathetic. "I heard other things, too."

"Spender's resignation?" It wasn't what she meant, and he knew it, but he wasn't going to talk to her about Scully.

"Seems he's cleared out of town." She gave a little shrug, uninterested. "But that's not really what I was talking about--"

"We're just settling in. First day back." He changed the subject with a faint air of desperation. The cafeteria seemed close and small. He looked across the table at Diana and felt something dark and mean curl in his gut. Suspicion, something he'd fought against when Scully tried to bring her own doubts to his attention.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder struggle back in their partnership, wanting to vent and understand and find their own answers.

EPurSeMouve's Dinner

She raises her eyebrows, confused. He thinks it's confusion, at any rate. He is just starting to realize that there is so much about her he doesn't understand...

"It's been a while, Diana. Three weeks. And I've been doing a lot of thinking, trying to figure out a lot of what happened... It still doesn't make a lot of sense. But I can't help wondering about what role you had in all of this."

Post-One Son Mulder realizes the old Diana is gone.

yukla's like a lonely house 

Scully’s hardly listening anymore. Grab dinner, he said. 

As if they’re stopping at one of the endlessly sticky dinners on the side of the road after a long day of investigation with nothing to show for it, tossing change over the counter in exchange for the country’s gummiest cheeseburgers. As if they’re doing overtime on a weekend and pulling cold, smushed sandwiches out of their bags to wolf down before returning to their paperwork. As if she hadn’t been waiting on this moment for ages now, as if she hadn’t summoned all the courage in her body preparing herself for this night, hoping that he would feel the same. She’d assumed he did.

Scully nods sharply to herself, feels her stupid, lonely, dangly earring bounce off her jaw with the movement. That strange hot feeling, high in her face now, creeps into the space behind her eyes, and with sudden clarity, she recognizes it as humiliation. 

Post-One Son Scully believes Mulder no longer has romantic intentions.

Vivian's Amends

"Scully, I'm sorry."

"Mulder, this is not your fault."

"I mean for, well, for all of it." He ran an agitated hand through his hair. He took a few more steps, and stood still, his back facing her. She could practically see him struggling for words.

Despite the unremitting pain in her wrist, Scully felt the tension she'd been carrying for the past weeks slowly begin to slip away. Glancing outside, she noticed the gloom was beginning to dissipate. "It looks like it's letting up a bit," she noted. His shoulders dropped a notch, and his stiff posture eased.

Post-One Son Scully realizes Mulder is trying to show he cares, in his own way.

@leiascully's Endeavors Too Short of Desires 

There are days lately that they just prickle at each other until the air is so charged he isn't sure one of them won't take a swing. He gets smug and she gets arch and he wants to remind her of Scully-that-was with the bad suits and the naivete, but the quips dry up when he looks at Scully-that-is, who might just shoot him to shut him up, her eyebrow cocking almost audibly as a pistol. It was easier when they were upstairs, Moose and Squirrel against the Badinovs. Now they've won and they're back in their weird seclusion, and he spends all day trying not to think about things. Diana and Spender and the enormous scar on Scully's stomach and a normal life and that's just for starters. Scully nags at him: he should be thinking of his knees, his cholesterol, his prostate, his geriatric future chasing phantoms, and he almost blushes under her cool stare as she dissects him and gets irritable about that.

Post-One Son Mulder ruminates on Scully's innumerable losses and the endless road pitching them perpetually forward.

@settle-down-frohike's Desert Woman

He mourns not meeting her first, before anyone. He can’t help wanting to assume the best in anyone who’s ever even pretended to understand him, but he wishes he could, for both their sakes. 

Post-One Son Mulder, Scully, and TLG at a birthday party.

OnlyFoxMulder's Sunshine in the Rain

Indignant at first, it took a long drive and a greasy burger from his favorite hole in the wall to see the light. Then, he called Scully. It was late, definitely after midnight, and he found her awake and willing to finally conquer the growing space between them. In the end, it worked. After that night, the air felt lighter; they allowed themselves to joke with each other again, even flirt a little bit when the mood struck them. He was delighted to have her back, the giddiness he felt every morning returned. She was smiling again, albeit less than she did before Diana, but she flashed him many of her cute tight-lipped smiles that made his insides turn over. 

Post-Milagro Mulder mulls over his and Scully's post-One Son reconciliation after Padgett's attack.

fxckthishit 's You're It

Her breath hitched as his voice twisted something painfully within her. Foregoing the feeling, though, Scully stiffened her spine and crossed her arms. “What’s there to talk about?” She got her coat, “I’m not abandoning you, Mulder, if you are worried about that. I don’t know about you, but my priority has always been my work and the X-files.” She started heading out the room before turning around at the doorway, regarding Mulder with a look. “We’re partners, Mulder. I still got your back. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the scene,” she turned around and walked away, leaving Mulder dazed with only the receding sound of her heels, the cacophony of his muddled thoughts and an eerily familiar scent.

AU-- Post Amor Fati Diana Fowley is alive and squirming her way back into Mulder's life, forcing Scully to erect inner walls for the sake of the partnership.

Shoshana's Recovery 01, Recovery 02, Recovery 03, and Recovery 04

From my conversations with Scully and the journal entries I've made it through so far, we were both going to deny that moment ever occurred for the sake of our partnership. The indignity of having the X-Files ripped out from under us, the embarrassment of scut work like background checks and fertilizer investigations must have suppressed my libido in a big way.

Most likely, and from what I read between my own lines, I lost my nerve, waiting for her to give me some sign, show me how she felt. I wasn't willing to take the risk and lose her forever, not after she chose to stay with me, X-Files or not. She remained my partner, my best friend all last year. And I'm so very grateful for that. But something must have happened last February that shook her up, made her extraordinarily sensitive to the mere mention of Diana's name.

AU-- S7 Mulder wakes from an injury with amnesia; and, via Scully and his journal, slowly catches up on the past year's events.

BONUS

Flywoman's The Blessed One Bites the Bullet

"Here it is," he said triumphantly. "Diana Fowley, Special Agent with the VCS from September 1985 through October 1987. Seems she was suspended from duty following a joint panel investigation into certain unauthorized extra-governmental employment opportunities."

"Drugs?" Scully asked. "Weapons? Embezzling Bureau funds?"

Frohike consulted his sheet. "Apparently she played a starring role in a soft core porn film with some nobody called David Doo-chuhvnee."

Crack-- Post-One Son Scully ends up siding with Diana Fowley.

Ryo Sen's Revanche

Pulling the antenna up with her teeth, Scully punched the Send button and answered, "Scully." She felt supremely stupid with a phone to each ear.

"Who are you talking to?" Mulder's familiar voice demanded. "Your phone's been busy for hours."

Scully paused, unsure how much she wanted to confide in her partner. Deciding to share as little as possible, she asked, "What's the problem, Mulder?"

AU-- Post-One Son Scully's nightmares begin to unravel her abduction memories.

@writingwell/RocketMan/Darkstryder's Refuge of Lies

Mulder kept too much from her. If some police department somewhere found something about Emily or the other fetuses, she wasn't confident that Mulder would tell her.

And now, she'd been e-mailed this article about an unknown virus, her contacts were reporting some suspicious stuff, and large quantities of medical supplies were being moved across the globe, through holding companies and warehouses that had no real board of directors.

The worst news of all. . .three microbiologists had disappeared, two pre-natal doctors had been lost at sea, and thirteen virologists were either reported missing or presumed dead.

She was going to be sick. This couldn't be happening all over again.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder are caught up in the Consortium and Rebel war.

@mldrgrl's Looking Back: Nine Moments That Changed Things

“Sorry,” Scully said, jumping in surprise and then fumbling with the keys.

Mulder put his hand on her wrist and she held her breath.  “You could tell me we’re going to Florida,” he said, “and I’d say my overnight bag is in the trunk. You could tell me we’re going to Switzerland, and I’d say, good thing my passport is in the glove compartment. Scully, you could tell me we’re going to McDonalds and I’d say I love French fries.” 

It was quiet for the next few moments and Mulder ran his thumb over the side of Scully’s wrist.  She sniffed lightly and then inclined her head towards him, but cast her eyes down to his knees.

“You know I don’t like McDonalds,” she said.

Mulder smiled at her and her lips curled slightly as well. “You could also just tell me you’re taking me home,” he said.

“And what would you say to that?”

“I’d say, maybe you’d like to come up for awhile. Unless there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

Mulder and Scully's personal journey from Alpha to Millennium.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[sagan-starstuff]

procreate wrapped: you drew the same two characters over and over again in 2024. where do you even find the time?

[sagan-starstuff]

I started watching the x files on this day 2 years ago, so here's some experiments with style/composition to celebrate it I guess. some details are under the cut

[sagan-starstuff]

i just find it so beautiful that the person the government sent to spy on mulder became his greatest ally, his best friend, his most loyal partner, and the love of his life.

and the very first step of scully becoming all these things to mulder happened on their first case together. those men in black never stood a chance.