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[sage-advisor-of-gms]

D&D challenge for all u DMs out there

Design a kobold cave that a party of 4 lvl 15-20 players would struggle to complete

RULES:

-cave must have an entrance & a clear end goal, such as a treasure room or an exit on the opposite side.

-cave must only contain items that a tribe of kobolds would realistically have.

-the cave itself has no magical effects applied onto it.

-there can be as many kobolds living in the cave as you’d like.

-all traps must be mundane

-the only enemies in the cave are kobolds

-the kobolds use the 5e monster manual state block. that means no kobold spell casting

let’s see if it’s even possible

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Have a bunch of under level PCs be thrown into a Slaad outbreak. This prompt lends itself to carry a similar vibe such as if they were going against the Xenomorphs from Aliens.

Were it me, I would present the one shot in a manner that doesn’t announce the Slaad outbreak outright. The players would only realize what was going on after certain clues and/or the brutal attack/possible death of some NPC.

Alright everyone! Hit me with some scary dnd one-shot ideas! I wanna see what people come up with!

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Mansion Design For D&D

The Pemberley Rule:

When designing a Mansion (or any house) for Dungeons and Dragons (or any fictional work), I always consider to use this rule for major buildings that will be visited. In Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austin used her description of the estate of the Leading Male Romance option for the Main Female Protagonist to reflect on certain aspects of said male character. Literary Analysis tend to reference Austin’s word choice of handsome when Elizabeth is admiring Pemberley Estate and theorizing that it alludes to Elizabeth’s subconscious feelings about Darcy. Those who follow this line of thought hone into the line, “She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she felt, that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!”

Consider also the establishing presentation of Beast’s Castle in Beauty and The Beast. Belle’s father always enters the castle when it appears like bad news, yet as Belle and the audience warms up to the Beast, the house begins to appear more visually appealing.

The general rule is to design a prominent building similar to the characteristics of the residence that will play a part in your story. The only time this rule should be inverted is when the DM/GM (/author/illustrator) is working of the theme of you can’t judge a book by its cover. Reference the Candy-hut of Hansel and Gretel.

With that said, I cannot design your mansion because I know nothing about the residents who would live there. The best I can do is offer my interpretation of what certain aspects of your fictional mansion would say about the residence.

Use of Color:

Color tends to be a reflection of personality. White would equate to a resident’s moral goodness while grays, darks and shades of black will signify moral badness. Individual colors have their own meaning that should be considered.

Gate and OuterWalls:

As most characters of no importance will not said foot on the grounds, the gate tends to act as the window for them to gaze upon the mansion. Folks who use a gate that hinders vision present reclusiveness and secrecy. Most Rich folks tend to use barred gates to allow the commoners to gaze in. If the top of those bars are pointed, they are more reclusive than if the top was smooth. If the gate is tall, it sends keep out vibes. Wide gates are more welcoming and elude that the owner has nothing to hide.

Society Facing Exterior:

Rich Folks who carry the sense that they are better than their neighbors will lavish the front yard with lucrative decorations. If a mansion appears more modest in exterior decor, it could hint to a philanthropic owner. Prideful people will commission statues of themselves, while statues of others hints at who/what characteristics the owners holds in high regards.

Consider windows: transparent glass alludes to openness and lack of secrecy. Tented windows would hint at the opposite with stained window art alludes to putting on a front.

Consider a balcony: a large exterior balcony that runs the length of the building suggests an importance placed on family, a willingness to socialize and equality. A centered small balcony suggests a yearning for control of the government.

Plot of Land:

A mansion in the middle of the city invokes the belief that the owner enjoys society while an estate on the city’s fringes suggests a more reclusive lifestyle.

Larger plots of land will hint at how the estate makes income. (Crops, trade services, fishing endeavors artisans workshops on the side)

Opening Foyer:

The size of the opening foyer can affect the initial feeling of visitors. If they enter into a small room with the rest of the mansion residing behind another door, it’s as if they are going through a security checkpoint. If the opening foyer is large enough to act as a ballroom for large parties, it suggests a yearning to socialize.

Bedrooms:

The amount of Bedroom is a possible sign of hospitality. The more bedrooms that there are, the more overnight guests can be accommodated.

The Master Bedroom should truly exemplify the pure personality of the owner. Even if the owner or the mansion or both are putting up a mask, the master bedroom is the private room for the owner.

Dinning Room:

How are the seats arranged? Is there an observable head of the table? Does the chairs and table accommodate for people of varying sizes and needs or is it designed with a certain audience in mind?

Kitchen:

How closed off is the kitchen from the dining room? Is the kitchen set towards the back of the house with a custodial door that is out of public view? If the answer to these two questions were yes, it would suggest that the residence of the house try to think of their cooking staff more as servants than as part of the family. If the kitchen was more open to the public, then the opposite could be assumed.

Library:

In addition of a proof of wealth, libraries tend to offer the perception that the owner of the manor is intelligent. Rich folk who want to appear smart will strive for larger libraries filled with books that gather dust while retaining that new-book-smell in between the pages. They will also fill the shelves with a general collection of as many subjects as possible. The organization of said library will could be a mirror of whether they lean more lawful or chaotic.

Now, if the manor is owned by someone who is actually intelligent rather than trying to appear to be intelligent will structure their library differently. The furniture of the library would be comfortable and ideal for reading. The selection of books could hint at the exact interests of the owner; sure, they can have a vast selection, but their major interests will have more dedicated books will while topic that don’t appeal to their personality will have fewer book representations. In turn, the organization of those books could be so that the favorite books are closest to the owner’s favorite reading nook, while books of less interest take the higher shelves.

Room of Arcana Studies:

With the D&D tag included, mansion owners should have the freedom to study magic if they are magically inclined.

Trade Wing:

If they keep an office of business inside the mansion, it would be on the side wing assessable to the public. Inspiration can be taken by the guild member background and artisans tools.

Trophy Room:

Whether they be tired adventurers or those who wish to portray a sense of military might, a fair amount of rich folk could showcase high-end gear.

drawing floor plan for a massive mansion, tell me what they should contain idk what rich people like

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Yay! I am a Genie!

please help

how do i convince my players to give me their goddamn sheets

OUR FIRST SESSION IS THIS SUNDAY

AND I HAVE HALF OF THE SHEETS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Sometimes when I run games, I tend to offer in-game bonuses to players who turn there sheets in early. For campaigns that are starting at the early levels, I treat the turning in of character sheets as the submission of tax documents to the government of the land. If a player turns in their character sheets early, then their character gets additional starting coin due to receiving a tax return. Said return tends to be equal equal to five silver for every day early that pass until the deadline.

please help

how do i convince my players to give me their goddamn sheets

OUR FIRST SESSION IS THIS SUNDAY

AND I HAVE HALF OF THE SHEETS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Magical Flare and Unicorn Hair

They have taken you from the Hetero City's prison, first by carraige, and now by boat. To the west, to Glitterwind. Fear not, for I am watchful. You have been chosen.

"Wake up, we're here. Why are you shaking? Are you ok? Wake up."

You awaken to a masculine Drow Elf urging you to awake with a firm yet gentle nudge. Upon him asking you in his raspy voice, you stand upon the floor of the boat.

"Stand up... there you go. You were dreaming. Not even last night's storm could wake you. I heard them say we've reached Morrowind, I'm sure they'll let us go."

Before you can ask him any questions, a troop of guards enters the low quarters of the ship.

“Quiet, here comes the guard."

“Alright. It’s ya lot’s lucky day. Y’all are here by no longer our problem. Now make your way to the registry office before I change my mind.”

"We better do what they say,” whispers the Drowish dude.

The guards March you and the other prisoners up to the deck. You’re fill with a strange sense of calmness. The sea breeze keeps the morning cool and refreshing, and the guards bare no feelings of hostility.

You are marched across the docks into a large building. The entry way stretches into a wide hall with multiple desks.

As you approach a desk you are greeted by a short feminine individual. Her sky blue hair frames her face nicely, yet it draws attention to her pupilless eyes.

“Hi there. I’m Carlin. I be completing your registration today. You’ll have to forgive my questions. Unfortunately, my eyesight is a bit… gone. Would you be so kind as to provide your ethnicity?”

You peer down at her parchment a get a glance of a bit of the options that she has on her list:

Human

High Elf

Wood Elf

Drow Elf

Forest Gnome

Rock Gnome

Dragonborn

Half elf

Half-Orc

Tiefling

Light foot Halfling

Stout Halfling

Hill Dwarf

Mountain Dwarf

How do you reply?

Someone teach me how to play dnd, I wanna be a gay wizard and fight shit or whatever

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

It depends on where you dwell in the out-of-game material plane.

For example, adventurers who live below the Bible Belt roll with advantage on their saving throw because they fear upsetting the Christian community.

so is there a universal experience of starting to say “gods” instead of “god” or “jesus” in dnd and not being able to break the habit outside of the game, or is it just me

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

I took it upon myself to take out this quest. I dove into the internet astral sea. By mastering the arcane arts and bending the Google search engine to my will, I found an answer:

According to some RPG forum, the company rules in Reign seem designed for this. One should be able to find this set of rules in the Reign corebook. I have no experience with this system, so I cannot give it my seal of approval. Nevertheless, it seems like it would be the system that you are looking for.

Genuine question: is there a game like one of those where you're like a football manager, not actually playing, but like with managing a TTRPG adventuring party?

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE DATA!!!!!!!

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

I loveeee how D&D mechanics are more well known now even by people who have never played and I can make D&D jokes that don't require lore context and people understand me now. 100000d8 health to all of you

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Disclaimer: You use any of my recipes, you’re agreeing to the terms that they are made by my dwarven cleric cook named Burnston who has 1d4X10% ownership in the restaurant.

The Soy Ahoy Boy: A soybean based patty paired with grilled pineapple served in a seaweed wrap.

The Guava Mama: a guava bean based patty seasoned with halflings spices.

The Garbanzo Greenery: a garbanzo bean based patty served in a Lettuce Wrap.

The Cauliflower-pounder/The Quarter-Flour

Sweet Potato fries served vegetable style

The Herbivburger

need a name for plant-based burger patties made by an elf who runs a restaurant called Lazy Hunter

I want to subject my players to the best and worst puns I can find

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Okay, so I was loading up discord, and I saw something about how most people who use discord hate pineapple on their pizza and it got me thinking

Please reblog for a larger sample of people :3

I'm the first one, I've tried it but didn't like it

I even tried a dairy free version and still hated it :/

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

“In their tongue, they are Dovamir: Dragonbrelf!”

🎶Dovamir! Dovamir!

Oh their papa did leer!

At their mom! For to long!

Now their birth draws quite near!

Sexy dance! Bad romance!

The parents can’t find their pants!

Baby kid! Should stay hid!

Or they will suffer harsh glance!

Duh duh daaah

Duh duh Daaah

Duh dah daaah

Duh duh dash🎶

Ok so weird question

if a male elf and female dragon born do the do and the Dragonborn is now pregnant, what does it make child wise?

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Subtitle: Revenge of the Blackwood Company

My friends want me to dm and I’m telling them I wouldn’t be a good one but they don’t understand that I have a whole campaign written up where in a dungeon when they’re done slaughtering the easy enemies I’ll reveal that they weren’t in a dungeon but instead were hallucinating and when they come out of it they’ll be standing in a big house, covered in blood with drawn weapons, standing over Nobel children who were playing house with their pets and has they look around they see that the maids and butlers are laying dead some of them still trying to put their guts back inside themselves before succumbing to their gashes while the left over guest are cowering in the corners and under the table while the room is covered in blood, severed body parts, burned corpses of human and animals, charred wood, torn drapes, broken glass.

I am telling them I WILL NOT BE A GOOD DM because they’ll come out of the first season haunted with what they’ve done.

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

Elect?

Nah. Save that Democracy spirit for Helldivers II.

Everyone at the table should take out their d20’s and roll for it. If you roll the lowest, you’re running the next campaign.

In all honesty, I actually feel for groups of friends who want to all to play as players. Being a GM/DM comes with an unspoken expectation and a decent amount of assumed responsibility. While the players have a sense of equality between themselves, that equality doesn’t exist for the GM/DM.

If that group of five finds this message, or any group of players, I am freeing up my weekends and have considered running a one shot or a short campaign of my making. Feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr if you would like to work out possible details.

"Group of 5 players looking for a DM" What the hell is wrong with people, elect a mf to DM then?

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

I’m glad that I could help you out, dude.

Can you Prestidigitation-clean a crime scene? Is it thorough? Would blood still show on a blacklight test? Would fingerprints disappear?

What is "clean" by the spell's (or its creator's) definition? Does it completely annihilate whatever you are cleaning? Or does it just put whatever is being cleaned in an after-wiping-down state?

How long does Mending work after you broke something? Can you mend a smashed vase after sanding down the edges? After it was buried in sand for hundreds of years? Could you shatter a bottle, stab someone with it and use mending to put it back together afterwards?

How come there aren't more murder mysteries in a game that has an Inquisitive Rogue?

[sage-advisor-of-gms]

I’m currently bored out of my mind at my day job, so let’s answer these questions. I don’t care if they are rhetorical.

What is "clean" by the spell's (or its creator's) definition?

The Player’s handbook doesn’t go into definitions on it word choice, so the most a rule lawyer can argue is based on the other words in the spell description. The biggest point is the use of the word “soil” in the spell description, as it is use in juxtaposition to the word clean to demonstrate the two words as antonyms. Therefore to clean something using Prestidigitation would be to un-soil it.

In truth the creators of the rules probably meant to use this cantrip to allow adventures to stay fresh on the road. Thus, this spell allowed PCs to do without immature fan service or having to battle piranhas stark naked in a lake.

Is it thorough?

Going back to the wording, the spell notes that any clean or soil effect is made immediately. This phrasing implies that using an action to cast this spell would produce the same result as if the user had un-soiled the object in question if they had spent the needed time to clean it by manual labor.

Most tables tend to say that the cantrip is as effective as laundry and dry cleaning services.

Can you Prestidigitation-clean a crime scene?

Depends on the rules-lawyering saturation level of the table. Relaxed tables would say, “I don’t see why not.” Strict tables would say, “Not all of it; the spell description only states objects that are smaller than one cubic foot. You could probably clean a small murder weapon, but not the floor. I would say, “one can use prestidigitation to clean a crime scene like magical bleach, but a detective magic can pick up transfiguration magic residue.

Would blood still show on a blacklight test?

Depends on the table, yet I’m willing to bet a silver piece that most tables would say no. Not necessarily because of mechanical issues of the spell, but more so due to to the fact that black lights wouldn’t be prevalent in a fantasy setting.

Would fingerprints disappear?

Depends on the table, yet I’m willing to bet that most tables would say yes. Fingerprints are a result of the dust remains, and it really only takes minor cleanup to remove them.

Does it completely annihilate whatever you are cleaning? Or does it just put whatever is being cleaned in an after-wiping-down state?

Here’s what it does: it allows adventurers to keep their clothes fresh without having to have players make laundry rolls. There’s also the side bonus not having to worry about bathing situations.

How long does Mending work after you broke something?

Since the spell description doesn’t note a time limit, my answer would be indefinitely. If the ancient temple requires an ancient key-acting artifact that was broken into three pieces, the mending cantrip should be able to restore the artifact back to temple opening status (assuming that it doesn’t require the restoration of magical abjuration enchantments).

Can you mend a smashed vase after sanding down the edges? After it was buried in sand for hundreds of years?

Depends on the table. Relaxed tables will say sure. Strict tables can say no. I would say yes, but the AC/HP of the new vase would be less than the original.

Could you shatter a bottle, stab someone with it and use mending to put it back together afterwards?

Depends on the table. Relaxed tables will say sure. Strict tables can say “The blood would interfere with the molecular binding”. I would say yes, but the AC/HP of the new bottles would be less than the original and traces of blood could be picked up by an investigation roll if the bottle wasn’t cleaned first.

How come there aren't more murder mysteries in a game that has an Inquisitive Rogue?

While DnD core rules leaves many possibilities for different genres of play. Most tables will steer towards an action adventure rpg because it is the easiest to write for. The rules focus in on combat and exploration more so than elements featured in crime mysteries. Even the Inquisitive Rogue can fight, but a Barbarian might be at a disadvantage in a whodunnit situation. Crime mysteries tend to require more forethought story wise. Consider Motive: crime mysteries make motive a key element with the best written honing in on it. Meanwhile, action adventure rpg don’t really sweat the details of motives. Heroes must fight chromatic dragons because chromatic dragons bad. Chromatic dragons bad because chromatic dragons bad.

We also can’t forget that any idea that we have about how a murder mystery could play out as a DnD campaign can be completely different from how it actually plays out at the table. Case and Scenario, here’s my story of when I played a Murder Mystery D&D Campaign.

Story Time:

The GM had plan an entire mystery for the party to explore in a clueboard king’s mansion with a full cast of suspects for multiple sessions. Once when the murder mystery was completed, she would allow us to level up to Level Two.

We were able to deduce that the killer was one of the members in the dining room. After conducting initial interviews my party left the dining room to explore the library for clues. Not wanting the killer to leave or kill another NPC, my character Zaldus stayed behind on guard duty as a half elf Paladin.

My party comes back, yet they only gathered enough clues to get some creepy guys discredited enough to get him away from marrying the princess. Everything was going according to plan by the DM.

Then I had Zaldus ask the party if he could take a glance in the library. They allow me to search, and I find what I needed.

I come back glancing at the book that I picked up as I accused the Wifey Queen. After a few competing rolls, the Queen confesses to her crime and Initiative is rolled.

After the situation deescalated, the party members gathered around Zaldus asking him how he knew where to find the incriminating evidence. He told them the truth: he didn’t find any evidence. The book he picked up was a cook book, and he was going off of his gut feeling and praying that the Killer Queen would confess to his accusations. Granted, his gut was backed up by a fair amount of information, yet it still didn’t change the fact that he… I basically completed a multi-session mystery halfway through the first session because I had a decent guess and lucky deception rolls.

Can you Prestidigitation-clean a crime scene? Is it thorough? Would blood still show on a blacklight test? Would fingerprints disappear?

What is "clean" by the spell's (or its creator's) definition? Does it completely annihilate whatever you are cleaning? Or does it just put whatever is being cleaned in an after-wiping-down state?

How long does Mending work after you broke something? Can you mend a smashed vase after sanding down the edges? After it was buried in sand for hundreds of years? Could you shatter a bottle, stab someone with it and use mending to put it back together afterwards?

How come there aren't more murder mysteries in a game that has an Inquisitive Rogue?