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‘It was no longer possible to ignore. We were being hunted.’

Photographed by Freddie Ardley

Instagram @freddieardley

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you truly do not exist for other ppl’s consumption and your existence is not hinged on making others happy and comfortable by stifling and hiding and crushing and editing parts of yourself to be less than who you really are

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cloth Christmas ornaments

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9-8-18 Morning Fog by Mike DeLoye

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you're in his dms, i sacrificed my autonomy to a sentient magical forest because his life was at risk and there was no time left. we’re not the same

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National Geographic, 1973

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Unidentified fruit tree blossom. Source. 

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sometimes u just have to go feral in the woods and cover ur face with some pond moss and that’s ok

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“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

— Maya Angelou (via minuty)

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No longer lady- like, I’m coming into unbecoming behavior

         must keep one          leg shaking          under the table

— Kate Colby, from Unbecoming Behavior

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I’ve observed in myself patches of magical thinking 

how I pretty much believe things that change other people won’t change me

— Charles Theonia, from Saw Palmettos

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This season of my life (the last four or so months) has been the calmest since early 2016. After 3.5 years of almost constant work + travel, non-stop go go go, and continuous adventure + experiences, I’ve found myself in the thick of the calm. I’m not being driven into madness by ambition. I’m not running from my past or putting off making definitive choices about my future by spending 10+ months a year bouncing around from city to country to continent. I have nothing left to prove - to myself or anyone else. I’ll always be a little melancholy, a tad lonely, a bit restless; but I am also content, find joy daily in the little things, and finally, finally feel at peace. At home.

I adore mothering my babies. I love spending my hours tending to the garden and our ever-growing clan of rescued animals. I am happy to fall asleep next to my husband every night in our bed and wake up to him bringing me a cup of tea every morning. I enjoy exploring my research on my own time, on my own accord, with renewed fascination for my field.

This isn’t the grand, preeminent life 16 year old me imagined for myself, but it’s better - it’s something tangible, real. It’s the life I never thought I deserved come to pass. Perhaps it isn’t something for the ages, and maybe I’ll never be written about in history books. But this is good. This is, at last, enough.

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Traditional cottage house in Poland

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Marat Safin