samanthafm

[samanthafm]

romanmaddox​:

“Came to make sure you weren’t rotting away or something.” He looked around the place while he made his way over to her. Coming up from behind the couch, he leaned down against the cushions and took her in. The fact that she hadn’t shown up at the party had him making a mental note at the time to come and check on her. The reason he hadn’t done so immediately after was due to the loss of one of his brothers. He couldn’t say he got use to losing people - there was no getting use to that - but because of his father and his siblings, he was forced to put on a good front for the sake of others. It wasn’t something he ever seemed to drop either and sooner or later he’d be the one desperately feeling the need to breathe. Until that time came he did what he was told, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on all while making sure everyone else was good. Even with that smile, he was questioning everything in his head. “Now that I see that you’re not, I’m getting comfortable.” Without warning he leaned forward and slowly rolled down onto the couch, entirely invading her space by moving practically on top of her. “Don’t tell me you’ve been surviving off those things.” He spoke as he looked over at the cookies. “When’s the last time you had a proper meal?”

“Oh, please. Do I look like I’m rotting to you?” Sam asked with a roll of her eyes before belatedly realizing that he couldn’t see that because of the shades she had on. Still, she knew that Roman knew her well enough to understand when an eye roll was going to happen and she was just about to sit herself up when she felt him practically fall on top of her, making her burst out in giggles. It was so silly and so unexpected that she couldn’t do anything but laugh for awhile, thinking what just happened was the funniest thing that had happened to her in awhile. It was probably the drugs, but whatever. She hadn’t laughed like that in what felt like a long time. “You’re just like Loki, you know that? You still thinking you’re a puppy who weighs nothing?” Sam teasingly asked him, reaching out to poke his side before letting out a groan at his question. She couldn’t blame him for being concerned. In fact, she expected it. That was just Roman for you. In his very core, he was a good guy, but damn, can’t a girl self-destruct in peace? “They are a proper meal. I mean, I’m sure they’ve got some nutrients in there somewhere. I’ve had take out too, you know. I’m fine, Roman. Don’t worry about it,” Sam said with a shrug as she weakly shoved him to sit herself up, hugging her knees to her chest and gently kicking him with her sock-covered foot. “Why are you really here, huh?”

[samanthafm]

gravesrafael​:

he was just praying that sam wasn’t drunk. he knew that she had been a mess considering everything. he couldn’t blame her for that but he just didn’t like seeing her in such a state. even if it was mostly because of him. he knew that the fact that she wasn’t on speaking terms with her sister probably didn’t help. he was just relieved that she hadn’t changed the locks and that was what led to him waiting for her to appear. he could tell that she was surprised to not just him but by what he was holding. the fact that he was opening up to her probably shocked her even more. after all anyone that knew him, knew that he was someone who kept things to himself. there were a select few people that he allowed to actually remain close with him. 

he was looking towards the shoe box that was jammed with all the letters. only to look up when he noticed the look on her face,” sam.” he knew that she was likely realizing why he had been acting the way that he was. his father was a bit of a touchy issue for him. he was sighing as she asked if she should take them. he was holding the box out to her and let out a deep breath,” like i wish the bastard was alive to tell me the shit that he wrote in these letters.” he knew that he shouldn’t speak that way but he sometimes couldn’t help himself. he was clearing his throat and glancing down,” i didn’t know how to even begin to process this or tell you.” 

“You went through all of this... alone?” Sam asked, her voice small. In that moment, she didn’t really think about all the yelling they did in the garage. She didn’t think about the hurt she felt while they were apart. All she could feel in that moment was this strong urge to let Rafael know that he wasn’t alone in all his problems. That had always been what she felt like her default setting, her way of showing that she cared. Sam might not have the perfect words to say when faced with the people she cared about having problems, but she can reassure them that, no matter what, she was going to be there, which was why Sam found herself moving closer to Raf to wrap him up in a tight embrace. 

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself,” Sam whispered, not wanting to let Raf go, wanting him to understand that even with how much the two of them had hurt each other, she was still here. She didn’t think that love for him would ever go away, and this problem was so much deeper than whatever relationship drama they had. Sam knew that, especially because she still couldn’t wrap her head around how his own father had done all this without her knowing. “I wish he told you himself too,” she murmured, letting out a deep sigh as she hesitantly pulled away from the hug. “Was it... good? The things he said in there?” Sam hesitantly asked. 

[samanthafm]

benjaminmiller​:

          When Sam fell into a fit of giggles on their way outside the bar, Ben became certain that taking her home was the right decision. He wanted nothing more than for her to be safe and sound at home, preferably in her bed, sleeping. That’s what she needed now… At least according to Ben. What she didn’t need, was more alcohol, drugs or loneliness and he was hell-bent on being there for her. These things were on his mind as the silence spread out between them when getting into the cab, on the ride and when they reached Sam’s place. How was he supposed to bring up that they needed to talk everything through, when she found herself in this inebriated state? He wasn’t even sure it was the right time, with how out of it she seemed.

          When entering her front door, Ben’s eyes widened slightly at the sight. The place was a mess, clearly an outwards projection of how Sam was feeling on the inside. When Sam went to get more booze, Benjamin stepped further inside, taking it all in. In all honesty he wanted to tell her to put the bottle down, but who was he to talk? He regularly drowned his own memories with alcohol. When she asked if he wanted to go upstairs, he simply nodded and let her lead the way. This wasn’t the Sam he knew. The Sam he’d kissed and slept with. The Sam he’d been certain he’d been in love with. No, this was a shell of the woman he’d once known.

          Following Sam out onto the balcony, he took a deep breath of the fresh night air deep into his lungs. When hearing her speak, Ben looked over towards the woman who looked nothing if not fragile in this state. He sat down next to her, pulling out the fresh pack of smokes he’d bought not even an hour earlier and lit one up, while thinking about what to tell her. “I’m back because… Charming’s home now” His honest words cut him a little. For years he hadn’t believed anywhere could be home, but Charming had become what he didn’t think existed. Silence lingered for a little while.

“The club, Ophelia, you… You’re all reasons I’m back. While I was out on the road, I just kept thinking what a coward I was being for just running away, after everything that happened between us. You and I we have some things we need to talk about… I just don’t think now’s the time. Jesus Sam… What are you even on?” He asked, not condescending but more worried. Ben shrugged off his jacket before placing it over Sam’s shoulders, “You’re better than this… You’re stronger than this” His gaze focused on her eyes, wanting to get through to her. He might have gone away, but she was still his friend, so of course he worried.

“Home,” Samantha repeated as she rested her forehead against the railing of the balcony and breathed in the cold night air as she closed her eyes. It definitely soothed her a little bit but her mind was still muddled and her heart still felt pretty heavy on her chest. “I don’t even know what the hell that means anymore,” she admitted, her tone bitter because even though where she and Ben were at that very moment should have been considered her home, it just felt so... empty without Rafael there. If this was what she got after trying to mold her life with somebody else, then she’d rather be alone for the rest of her life. She didn’t want to have to deal with this kind of heartbreak and longing ever again. 

“Ophelia’s that blonde chick, right?” Samantha asked, opening her eyes to turn towards Ben with a small smirk. Now probably wasn’t the right time to tease him but she didn’t really think she was in the right state of mind for anything at the moment so fuck it. “You know, I’m not the only one who notices you following her around like a puppy. I always thought you and her--” She murmured before showing Ben a shrug. “No, you know what, now’s the perfect time. We should talk about what happened because-- Well, because I want to. And doing things that I want to is kind of the only thing that’s keeping me going and, I don’t know, maybe the E that I’m on. I don’t really now,” Sam said, showing Ben a shrug before taking a deep breath. 

Even though she was the one who said they should talk about it, she felt herself clam up, remembering what happened between the two of them. The kiss on the dance floor, hooking up in the club’s bathroom, hearing about the fight between Ben and Raf at the clubhouse. She gave herself a moment to collect her bearings, holding Ben’s jacket more tightly against her body before looking up at him with a pained expression. “I’m not. You know, it’s... it’s sweet that you think so highly of me, Benny Boo. It really is, but... I think you have this image of me in your head that just doesn’t add up. I’m not better than this. I’m not stronger than this. Me? Crying over some guy? Having to dope myself up with drugs and alcohol just to get through the day?” Sam scoffed. “Pathetic, true, but this is who I am, Ben,” she murmured before visibly slumping, as if the fight had just completely left her body as she looked down, the silence overtaking them before she grabbed the bottle and took a large gulp. 

“I wish...” Sam started to say, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I wish I could... be the girl for you. It’s not even that hard, you know? Because you’re you and you’re fucking fantastic and I’m sure I-I loved you at one point and it was just... easy between us. I never felt like I needed to be anybody but myself -- a sarcastic, narcissistic bitch in all her glory -- when I was with you because you were my best friend... who I have thought about sleeping with once in awhile. I... I honestly don’t even know how we held out as long as we did and if Raf hadn’t come back when he did, I...” Sam’s voice trailed off as she shakily inhaled. “I don’t know-- Fuck, Ben, honestly, I can’t really say what would have happened because we all knew he and I... we had all that unfinished between us... but... I do know that I don’t regret what happened between us. You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you. Not for one fucking second.” Sam looked up at him, waiting until he looked at her to see the truth in her words. 

“I regret the... the after. The part where I couldn’t give you what I thought you wanted. The part where I... I hurt you. The part where I hurt Raf. The part where, even though in another life, I would have given you my entire heart, we’re in this life and I--” Sam murmured, starting to shake her head. “In this life, my heart’s with somebody else... and I... I caught him with a sweetbutt on his lap and his hands on her t-thigh,” Sam said, angrily wiping away the tears that started to form in her eyes, hating the way her voice cracked as that mental image just wouldn’t go away. Even with the drugs in her system, and the alcohol messing with her brain, she was still in so much emotional pain that it was almost funny how she could physically feel it. “I’m out here loving somebody and crying for somebody who probably thinks he’s better off without me and of all the people, I’m actually talking about this with you,” Sam said, letting out a bitter, joyless laugh. “I don’t wanna dump this all out on you, Benny Boo. I’m... I’m really sorry,” she murmured as she sniffled, a hand reaching out to harshly wipe away more of the tears. “About everything. Everything else might be shit but just know that, okay?”

[samanthafm]

honesty hour & meme day

Samantha Martinez

Cliff Kincaid

Adelita Torres

Francesca Rossi

Nina Eloise Connolly

Ayda Lucy Tezel

Ophelia Lawson

Tucker King

Rosalia Garcia

Camille Cross

ASK MEMES: here, here, here

[samanthafm]

[samanthafm]

@lenamartiinez

[samanthafm]

[samanthafm]

nonsparklyed​:

Until that moment, he never punched someone that didn’t deserve it. He had been in a few fights, but it was always because the person did something to someone else. Rarely he got into a fight, because of something someone said to him or did, it really depended, you had to know exactly what to do, to push his buttons, but it was definitely not easy, “I think I would stick with punching the pillow, they’re more soft than both the wall and someone’s face,” he said with a small smile, he could see that she was joking, and despite his bad mood, he was still able to crack a small joke, even if his smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was, “Yeah, just a little frustrated, but I suppose could be worse.”

“I don’t know. I think there’s some sort of twisted rush when you punch the face of someone who absolutely deserves it,” Sam said with a harsh laugh. “I’ve never actually done it, but let’s just say I’ve come really close to doing it. Lots of people are assholes, you know?” She muttered, showing the police officer a shrug. “Penny for your thoughts, maybe? Or would you just rather go back to punching the living crap out of that punching bag?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. “Just don’t break it, yeah? Or you’re paying for it,” Sam teasingly said as she rested her head against the wall. 

[samanthafm]

( from Sam ) [text] I’m sorry.

[text] i’m sorry too

[text] miss you

[text] does this mean we are on speaking terms? 

@samanthafm

[samanthafm]

damian-maxwell​:

          Being at the gym ‘till closing and sometimes later, wasn’t unusual for Damian who had inherited a strong work ethic from his father. That work ethic showed both when it came to working at the Renegade and when doing grunt work for the club, but it also showed in other aspects of his life, such as his working out or working on his bike for fun. The sound of boxing gloves making contact with a punching bag cut clear through the air while Damian worked on a work sheet for a customer. The sound wasn’t unusual for a gym, but Damian had his reasons for believing something was up with Sam, when she was actively taking out her anger on the bag. Passing by her, intending to head straight for the changing rooms, Damian was stopped and when Sam threw him the sparring mitts, he instinctively grabbed them. His eyes moved down to the mitts before he nodded, “Okay, sure” The hesitation sunk in while he was sliding his hand into the pads, “You sure you wanna do this?” He asked, having made the decision beforehand that he would ask once, and then drop the subject if she asked him to. 

“I’m sure,” Sam said, already pretty breathless as she ducked inside the ring. If she was going to die alone, she might as well make the most out of the gym that she had no choice but to take care of. If she was going to cry, might as well do it when it could be mistaken as sweat, and she might as well do it without other people around. Damian and Sam had a pretty cool relationship, in her opinion. Save from Dimitri, he was like the younger brother she never had, and they butted heads here and there but she respected him, thought of him as a good worker and a good person in general. “I don’t want you to take it fucking easy with me tonight. Don’t ease up, okay?” Sam said, the steely determination evident in her eyes as she put her gloves back on and started hopping from one foot to the other, hyping herself up. She needed something to get her mind off of the pain she was currently feeling and if that meant physical pain and exhaustion, then so be it.

[samanthafm]

Sam had made a last minute not to get drunk tonight, at least until dinner because she did not want a repeat of last time where she burned her hand because she had been too drunk to pay attention to what she was holding while she was cooking. She was coming to regret that decision when she heard a very familiar voice when not expecting him to come over at all and had to double check if she was high out of her mind. At the sight of him again in the home that they had previously shared, all Sam wanted at that moment was another drink because seeing him there felt like a hard punch to the gut. He came over though. Again. That has to count for something, she thought, and she hated just how hopeful she felt. 

The shock was evident on her face as she listened to his words, adding in the fact that he came to actually open up to her just made that hope inside her burn that much stronger. “Raf...” Sam said, the pieces of the puzzle clicking then. She had defended Rafael multiple times from his father, both when Raf had been in and out of prison, so she feared the worst when it came to those letters. “May I?” She asked, gesturing towards one of the opened letters. “How... how are you feeling?” Sam asked quietly, her hand reaching out to rest on his arm in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

Location: Samantha’s Home

With: Samantha Martinez

@samanthafm​

rafael was unable to process what it was that he was about to do. part of him still felt like he might just be making a mistake. however he was not going to turn back when he knew it was the right thing. he was going to place his helmet on the handle bar of his bike. he glanced around before going to pull the shoe box out of the storage that was beneath the seat. he was going to tuck the box beneath his arm before making his way up the front path. he opted to use the key that he still had inside of knocking. maybe that was the wrong move but he didn’t care. he was clearing his throat and peering inside,” samantha?” he knew that she was home but he had no idea how she would react to him being there. he was shifting the box in his grasp and looking towards her the moment she appeared,” i have to show you something,” he said slowly,” the thing that has been bothering me? i found these.” he pulled the lid from the box to show all the letters, most of which had been opened. he hadn’t read all of them because he wasn’t sure how he would react if he did,” my father,” he said slowly,” wrote me letters for all those years but never sent them.” 

[samanthafm]

What is your biggest worry right now?

“That I’m gonna die sad and alone,” Sam said, a wry smile on her lips as she shot the person who asked the question finger guns. 

[samanthafm]

(from Damian) [text] Don’t get too drunk tonight.

[ Samantha > Damian]: you worried about me, kid? [ Samantha > Damian ]: eh it’s nothing I can’t handle. why, wanna come with?   

@damian-maxwell

[samanthafm]

HONESTY HOUR & MEME DAY

Samantha Martinez

Cliff Kincaid

Adelita Torres

Francesca Rossi

Nina Eloise Connolly

Ayda Lucy Tezel

Ophelia Lawson

Tucker King

Rosalia Garcia

NOTE: This post is queued because I’m still asleep right now so I can’t link to the memes on the inspo blog but feel free to send me from ANY of the memes just posted!

[samanthafm]

@gravesrafael

[samanthafm]

PRISCILLA QUINTANA via Instagram story

[samanthafm]

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Sam said with a small, mirthless smile. She hadn’t really planned on coming to the gym today but even when she was in her pool, her entire house felt so suffocating that she went to the next best thing. Her home away from home, which turned out to be the mall at first, but then she got tired so she ended up making a quick stop at the gym instead. Her office was a mess, so she instead went to the front desk and manned it for awhile, just to make herself feel useful. “What would the world be without punch bags, you know? We’d probably take every excuse to punch other people since that would probably hurt less than hitting a wall. Or we’ll see the incline of pillow sales since people could punch those instead,” she said with a smirk. “You good?”

How frustrating it was not being able to figure out what happened, all he wanted was to make sure that whoever killed those people, would get what they deserved, but he still had no idea who was the one that did it. It was probably one of the reasons why he worried the most about the ones that he loved. How was he supposed to protect them when he had no idea who was the one that he had to be careful with? He needed to let out his anger, so he went to the gym, he knew that a few punches on the bag, would make him feel better. After a long session of punches, he stopped, and grabbed his towel, he was covered in sweat, “God bless the one that invented punch bags.” @charmingstarter​