samanthastrand - Tumblr blog

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

tumblr text post: no one will ever love me im ugly and gross

me: same

tumblr text post: im perfect why am i not the ruler of the world

me: same

[samanthastrand]

What We Do in the Shadows (2014) Directed by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi

[samanthastrand]

cattink:

every time i say something witty: please don’t think i’m flirting. i just want to establish myself as the funniest one here.

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

me as a father: alright kids that was a fun movie but let's talk about why it was problematic. casey, you go first.

[samanthastrand]

I just didn’t want to be a loser anymore.

Ko Shibasaki in Battle Royale (2000).

[samanthastrand]

it’s hard to threaten the kinky

[samanthastrand]

me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left

child: can't the ocean just make more of them?

me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned” and “Sorry Daddy I’ve been bad” both mean very similar things but have wildly different connotations

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

my aesthetic is the kid on the playground who tells all the other kids that ring around the rosie is about the black plague

[samanthastrand]

Mating Games: Challenge Two (The Beast Within)

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

[samanthastrand]

that’s too much, man