samcrit

[samcrit]

people who think dean is gay are really just picking up on how he’s too misogynistic to ever have an equal relationship with a woman so he can never truly love them. he’s not queer he just hates women

[samcrit]

42 is the perfect age for him cause he IS the answer to the life the universe and everything

[samcrit]

he* is risen

*sam winchester

[samcrit]

aw worstie, the widower arc isn’t real. dean would have been the exact same level of chuffed if crowley came back to life instead of cas

[samcrit]

dean winchester heard umberto eco say “thinking is a form of emasculation” and integrated it into his belief system without pausing to absorb a single iota of context

[samcrit]

Is it that Jensen's too afraid of getting a wrinkle, or is it that the botox makes it impossible for him to do anything besides microexpressions?

¿porque no los dos?

[samcrit]

oh hey. yeah, just wanted to check in. are we still doing that thing were we all pretend we don’t know that the only reason “jensen ackles microexpressions” exist is because the guy is too afraid to make macroexpressions in case he gets a wrinkle? oh okay yeah, ixnay on the lack of emoting. gotcha. let me know when that changes

[samcrit]

psspsspsss dean winchester. that’s it c’mon. i am just an innocent length of rebar. a gentle and sweet iron rod. come close dean winchester. i am your new best friend. i will be with you for the rest of your life. psspsspsss. let me kiss your back. we are mfeo. come hither. come hither

[samcrit]

I keep thinking your username is samclit whenever I see you on my dashboard 😭

that may not be my url but i’ve got it in my mouth right now. i do most things while simultaneously giving sam head

[samcrit]

the absolute unmitigated GALL for sam and dean to be all “together together?” “as in sam-slash-dean” FOUR episodes after sex and violence. truly it does not matter if you ship wincest or if you think it’s gross or you’re true and pure and neutral as only the best of us can be, that is pure insanity. what do you MEAN you don’t know why they’d think that, dean didn’t want some bitch in a g-string he wanted sam!!

[samcrit]

dean’s tummy and sam’s tits 🥰

[samcrit]

it means nothing it means everything that dean and lucifer both got themselves insufficient replacement sams and they both had the same name. a name which is a synonym of *steal*

[samcrit]

maybe if dean hadn’t fed sam blood directly from his veins as a child sam wouldn’t have got addicted to demon blood

[samcrit]

chuck not writing sam’s demon blood addiction into his books is so funny. fuck off with “it wasn’t sympathetic” spn fans in universe are canonically freaks chuck just didn’t want fifty beckys on livejournal asking to drink his blood

[samcrit]

all i want for christmas is samcrit

mariah carey wrote a whole song for her christmas beloved which has had a chokehold on the festive season for thirty years and all i get to express your devotion is one butchered line via tumblr anon? no. insulting.

[samcrit]

look we all saw dean very happily replace cas with a dog and then refuse to be happy in thee biblical heaven until sam showed up*

*this post not sponsored by Big Wincest, not for moral reasons it just doesn’t need to be