samsaidwhaaat

[samsaidwhaaat]

It’s been a while...

Honestly forgot about Tumblr. But a lot has happened, and a lot has changed.

I’d like to think that things happen for a reason and that God’s sovereignty reigns above all. 2018 has been such a whirlwind of emotions and I cannot be more thankful for all the pivotal moments that I have experienced in that year alone. Experiencing love, going through heartache, trying new things, and overcoming fears. All within the span of 12 months. God has truly shown where I lack and the areas of my life that are lacking in Him. This past year I’ve learned how to deal with difficult people, how to cope with a broken heart, how to overcome my fears, and how to choose myself. It’s been a tough one, but God has graciously brought me through it all and I made it to 2019! 

I’m not going to list the things I want to accomplish in 2019 because I want to grow privately and to see how far I can push myself without having to prove things to people. But just know that 2019 is a year for me and for God. A chance for me to finally choose myself & honestly, its going to be a great year. Here’s to 2019! 

[samsaidwhaaat]

I'm tired of being bitter. Praying for a joyful spirit that is constantly reminded of God's grace and love towards a sinner like me.

[samsaidwhaaat]

Honesty.

I could write out a really long post and complain about a couple of situations that I’m in right now but instead I’m going to sum it all up in one sentence.

Live a life of honesty and you’ll be gucci. 

LOL. But seriously though, being deceitful and having self pity takes too much time and effort and the results never lead to anything positive so why waste your life? 

[samsaidwhaaat]

It’s been a while.

That’s probably how a lot of my posts have started since I don’t keep up with Tumblr as often anymore but I have so much on my mind that I needed a place to just write it all out. After re-reading my tumblr posts from the last few months of 2015, I was laughing because of how anxious I sounded and how much stress I put myself into because of a boy. But I also realized how important it was for me to find someone that puts God first and wants to lead me closer to Christ despite what we want or feel. Those months of anxiousness and prayer really did pay off because I did find those exactly qualities in Brian. I’m not the type of person to simp or the type of person to show so much emotion but there is just so much respect and appreciation that I have for this man that I just needed to write it all out. 

This past week has definitely been filled with a lot of fun and exciting new adventures as well as arguments and disagreements for the both of us. Who knew that this week would be the week that the Lord would test our limits and test to see where our priorities lie. I’ll admit that towards the end of this week, we both had definitely failed miserably at putting Christ as the focus of our relationship and gave into our own selfish desires. But I praise God for His grace and the Holy Spirit for really opening our eyes and reminding us of what we agreed to do from the beginning of our relationship. I know that I’m a strong person and I know what I want but I never knew how easy it would be for me to waver. Satan really has his way of catching you at your weakest moment when you least expect it. But I am thankful and blessed to have Brian to remind me that we’re human and sometimes we’re going to fail miserably but it all depends on how we react to these situations. After many tears and a sincere lengthy prayer together, we’ve found our way back on track to our goal which is to glorify the Lord in our actions and thoughts. I don’t even know how to put all of this into words but in short, I am beyond blessed to have such an amazing Godly man as my boyfriend who willingly denies himself and his wants in order to pursue holiness and encourages me to do the same. His desire is for us to grow together in Christ and work towards building each other up more intentionally. I always thought that I’d be the stronger one in general in this relationship, but clearly I was wrong. 

Praise the Lord for forgiveness, grace, and His love which is what we’re both clinging onto. 

P.S. He’ll probably never see this because he doesn’t know that I have a tumblr. Hahah. 

Update: He’s seen it because he actually knows my Tumblr handle. HAHA. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

ppl who hate wearing socks to bed what have U got to lose?? why deny urself warmth and comfort??

[samsaidwhaaat]

#2 Top Post of 2015!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) This Word from the Lord is a reminder to the children of Israel that even though they were in Babylonian captivity (and would be for seventy years), God still had a plan for them. Even though they were in a place where their hands were tied and hope of freedom was far away, God’s plan for them still remained. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that God has a plans to "prosper” and “not to harm” when we feel as if we are living in captivity. Maybe: 1. Your job just didn’t pay enough for you live comfortably and you’re always thinking about money 2. You have no idea how you’re going to through your next semester of college financially, or even emotionally or mentally 3. You feel like something (or someone) is missing in your life and you don’t know what 4. You are living at home with your purpose or with less-than-ideal living arrangements and you don’t know how to change it 5. You’re in a good place but you still feel like you could be doing so much better In these moments, it can be easy to start to only think of where you are instead of where God wants you to be. He wants you to be in a place where you are trusting Him, even when you feel like your hands are tied. Even when you feel stuck and you’re not moving forward at work, at school, or any place in your personal life. Yes, there will be times where it seems like God’s plan for you is seventy years away and you can’t wait any longer, but what you have to remember is that God’s plan is so much more than just waiting around for exciting things to happen in your life, or waiting for your issues to sort themselves out. His plan for you was that you would be saved from your captivity through Jesus Christ (Romans 5:8). So even when you feel like your hands are tied and you’re not walking in your purpose, remember that in Christ, you are! Learn to find the joy and learn the lessons in where God has you today, knowing your future is already taken care of. Biblical Context + Further Reading: Jeremiah 29:1-23


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What is the deepest root of your joy? What God gives to you? Or what God is to you?

John Piper (via nonelikejesus)

[samsaidwhaaat]

Dear fellow traveler, a friendly reminder.

You are absolutely loved. Jesus does love you.

I know you might not feel that today, and that’s okay. You’re still loved.

It doesn’t matter about the things you did before. The things that happened to you don’t get to say a thing about you. You’re still loved.

You might feel corny or undeserving to believe such a thing. It’s hard to say, I’m loved. But it’s no less true. Could you please say that with me? I’m loved. And believe on it. Act on it. Move in it. Breathe with it.

You really don’t need anything else. As time gets shorter, as eternity draws near, as friends come and go, as life unfolds: He’s there. I’ve been at the bottom, shattered to a million pieces, and when I cried out: so did He. I’ve lost my grip too many times to count, but He never lost His on me.

I truly do love you, fellow traveler – and He loves you infinitely more than that. You’re loved, still.

– J.S.

[samsaidwhaaat]

Struggling because of your ignorance.

[samsaidwhaaat]

Update.

Finds out that I’ve been worrying about the wrong class. I need a 64% on my final to pass with a C. ....I need an 88% on my Geology final to pass with a C. LOL. SOS. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

Anxious, but not.

Due to my current situation as a student, I’m anxious...but not. 

CAS 310 (Research Methods) is really kicking my butt this semester. I have a failing grade in that class and the only way I can possibly pass this class is if I get a “strong score” on my final. Highly doubt that I’ll be able to pull that off but I’m definitely studying or trying to study as much as I can. I received a phone call from the chair of my department at school and they’ve informed me that I am unable to take CAS 310 & CAS 490T concurrently. (Bummer). If I end up not passing CAS 310, I’ll have to take it next semester and then take CAS 490T over the summer but I will still get to walk next semester! The downside to that is that summer classes are not cheap and it would interfere with my work schedule. How can I have a classroom and take classes in the day time four days out of the week? I’m not sure what the Lord has planned for me but I’m trusting that it’ll all work out in the end. I’m actually really upset but at the same time I know I could’ve done better so really it’s my fault and I’m owning up to that. Ah, I’m just rambling on. But prayers would be appreciated! I have four finals tomorrow and one on thursday. The only final I’m really worried about is CAS 310. Ah, okay that is all. Thanks for reading, friend. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

Be happy Sam, be happy. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

I need to stop sabotaging my own happiness. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!

me: nope

person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???

me: i'm not

[samsaidwhaaat]

Things are progressing slowly and smoothly. Praise. The. Lord. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

Not sure if it’s just me being scared and having doubts but I’m really conflicted. I’m just going to keep this up in prayer and see what happens but the uncertainty makes me so anxious. In the end, I know forsure that I am...totally not ready. 

[samsaidwhaaat]

I don't know how to express my emotions. 😭