samuelandthewilburbots

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 52

Yeahhhhh that’s right, we did it folks. The experiment I started 52 weeks ago, has completed just as our trip around the sun is about to come to a complete stop. I am finally free from this weekly burden, much like the genie in Aladdin, I have exhausted my efforts, and now I must go. The goal when I started this blog was to chronicle the writing process of each song, give a little insight into what each song was about, and then at the end of the year, destroy it all just like Ethan Hawke in First Reformed. So, as I wrap myself in barbed wire, allow me to reflect on what I’ve learned from this journey and this godforsaken decade.

I learned that writing about the writing process is hard, and more importantly not always that compelling, so I often had to pivot to memories that these songs evoked, often times divulging more than I initially intended to. After one particular post I got called “ageist” by a baby boomer on Tumblr, which made me feel bad at first, but then made me feel like I must be doing something right. I learned that if you write everyday, you will not get writer’s block. I had that sentence written down at my studio desk and looked at it everyday. “I will never get writer’s block, because I write everyday.”

I believe that is undoubtedly true. I wrote way more than 52 songs this year, not all were completed, or great, and almost every week I would have about 3 musical ideas to choose from to push over the finish line, and even though sometimes I hated all 3 of my options, I was always both surprised and satisfied with the product I put out. I know that some of the songs I created are better than others, but I believe every single one of them has something interesting to say, both lyrically and instrumentally at some point. There is at least one cool 10 second section in each song that is worthy of your ears. I learned that posting about the same project once a week on Facebook absolutely gets you buried in the algorithm to the point where close friends and family had no idea that I was putting out new music each week, Zuckerburg fight me you coward! I also learned that even those that do know what your doing, it’s very hard to get people to listen to your music. I’ve been writing music since the first day I picked up a guitar when I was 16. I am now 34 and I feel like the songs I made this year are some of the best I’ve ever written. The recording and mixing process is a slog and insanely tedious. For one song, I made 11 different versions with slight variations in levels before I got something worth posting, and even then it still wasn’t great. With these 52 songs, I am going to pick my favorites and have people who are much better at mixing than I am, make them sound even better.

Most importantly, I learned I am going to keep writing and recording music until the day I die. It is the most therapeutic and spiritual thing that I do, and it makes me feel like I have a purpose. I love the music that I make, and in my heart of hearts, I do believe I will break through into the music industry in some capacity. 89.3 The Current, I’m coming for ya! This week’s song is called Sunlight. It’s about how the sun gives us light and life, and when we don’t see it enough, we get sad. The Sun is a giant ball of gas and plasma that is over 4 billion years old. It is 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit on the surface and if our planet were any closer or further from it, we’d be in trouble. The sun is a big mood folks, Do NOT sleep on the sun! Lyrics: It's the curve of the ocean It's the horizontal line It's the moment from  this moment and the moment doesn't change You got to see just where you lie I'm selling minutia I'm selling a mirage I'm selling the future I'm selling my garage Sun Light Making everybody feel so nice Oh Give me 25 years to life If I confess to the truth Oh give me something Because I must confess it to you Well someones trying to take your picture While someone's trying to hold your hand And someones feeding you your own tail with a silver spoon But I don't think that you fully understand You’re selling your future You’re buying your own lies Soon we won't have a future We are running on fumes and out of time

Sun Light Making everybody feel so nice Oh give me 25 years to life If I confess to the truth Oh give me something Because I must confess it to you Hey there, where you at I'm looking for a favor from the past I'm looking forward too I'm moving on from you I’m drowning here without you I’m drowning here without you Just give me Sun Light Making everybody feel so nice Oh Give me 25 years to life If I confess to the truth Oh give me something Because I must confess it to you

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 51

Howdy folks, this song is called Glow. It is another song about the slow and steady destruction of our beautiful planet. Even though there is a very manageable $300 billion dollar plan to halt climate change (and create tons of jobs), it is much more time sensitive to invest in the Space Force and continue to argue that because it is cold in the winter, global warming is clearly a hoax. In the song I reference that, “you could be cold with a fever.” Hey my fever can’t be too high, I’m shivering uncontrollably! I’m clearly not sick.

Some of the most profound moments of my life have been in a secluded natural environment, far from the scourge of human civilization. Taking in the grandeur of Glacier National Park, The Absaroka Beartooth Wilderness, Zion and Canyonlands in Utah, and the rain forest in Venezuela, makes it hard to justify why people ever got a chance to set foot here in the first place. To see the variety of the wonders of the natural world and then think how they could be jeopardizes in the near future is soul crushing. On the brightside, the same 50 billionaires would get even wealthier! Silver lining. The song is called Glow referencing the planet’s natural warmth and glow as seen from space, not the glow from the ozone depletion, oil spills, nuclear radiation, or massive forest fires, it’s natural glow baby! Lyrics: This world is on fire and out of control When we finally woke up, there was nowhere to go Now we got a big problem on our hands Now we got to change how we live off the land Soon it’s too late for sustainable plans It’s time to go, it’s time to glow

I just want to see you when you’re full I just want to heal you, protect your soul I don’t want to leave you when your old Let’s glow again, let’s glow again With temperatures rising, it still gets cold Well the sea keeps on rising until it overflows Then we’ll have a big problem on our hands Then we’ll have to clean up some of our land Or we’ll have to leave to a new planet and call it home, call it home

I just want to see you when you’re full I just want to heal you, protect your soul I don’t want to leave you when your old Let’s glow again, let’s glow again Goodbye, you want to stay in your home? Goodbye, well then you better swim home I’m not, I’m not afraid We’ll stop, we’ll stop if we can’t escape You can be cold with a fever making You can be cold with a fever making You could be sore with a fever breaking I’m sideline, sidelined, sidelined again I’m sidelined, sidelined too I don’t want to stop I don’t want to let go I don’t want to stop I don’t want to let go Goodbye, you want to stay in your home? Goodbye, well then you better swim home Goodbye, you know I don’t want to go Goodbye, you know I don’t want to go

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 50

Yeah that’s right, week 50! I could give up now, and it’s still a hell of a feat, but alas, I will bravely carry on for the guaranteed fame and riches. This song is called Lately. I came up with the main piano melody 13 years ago when I was home for the summer from college. It was a strange summer, so I played a lot of piano in between underage binge drinking with my friends. When I first played this melody for someone, they said it had an Elliot Smith vibe, and that is the highest form of praise I know. After trying several different chord progressions, I finally settled on a chorus and an arrangement that was worthy of that melody I kept in my mind for a baker’s dozen years. This song is yet another song about figuring out how to navigate our current 24-hour news-cycle-of-hell we have accepted as normal. I will fully admit, I have tuned out and avoided reading about many “important” news stories this year simply because they were either a huge downer, or a huge let down by someone whom I had invested a great deal of hope in, i.e Barack Obama, only to see him slowly turn into a lifestyle brand giving out curated playlists and movie recommendations, while at the same time urging people to not start a revolution, not lean to far to the left, and remind everyone that hey, the center and status quo are a big mood too! My philosophy soon became, the less I get involved and get my hopes up, the less they win. If I don’t let another President Deals news story ruin my day, is that a victory? Or is it once again privileged ignorance under the guise of self-care? The news media outlets have been on a constant crescendo since 9/11, going to further and further extremes for ratings, and social media has now reinforced these extremes with how we interact with the news, throw in a predator clown president, and it almost has to reach a tipping point soon. Right? How much worse could it get? Cue: Breaking news graphic.

The Chorus of the song asks, “If I’m not there, not missing, if I’m not there at all, who is to say it’s all on me?” Does everyone need to carry the cross of constant bad news? Is there any value to being in the know, when the news cycle is so short? Who is to say? Until we figure out, I might just stay out of the loop and listen to another lit slow jam Obama sent me on spotify.

Lyrics: Well tell me darling are you ever going to think it’s real I got a feeling, that we’re never going to really feel The way that we did, when, we were young Lately I, lately I’ve been obsessed with Lately I, lately I’ve been a mess with Lately I, lately I haven’t been blessed by you I haven’t been blessed by you I’m not there, not there, not missing If I’m not there at all I’m not there not there, not there, not missing If I’m not there at all Whose to say it’s all, it’s all on me Whose to say it’s all, it’s all on me I don’t mind, don’t mind, don’t mind taking a break Your mind, your mind, finally made a mistake Your mind, your mind, finally made it okay, okay, okay

Lately I, lately I’ve been unrested Lately I, lately I’ve been unimpressed with Lately I, lately I’ve been stressed by you I don’t know why I would tell you I don’t know why it went wrong I don’t know why I would tell you, tell you, tell you after all I’m not there not there, not there, not missing If I’m not there at all I’m not there not there, not there, not missing If I’m not there at all Whose to say it’s all on me Whose to say it’s all, it’s all on me

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One year in Music: Week 49

Howdy folks, this week’s song is called, Wasted on the Young. This song is about a dysfunctional couple that is young, but not quite as young as they wish they still were. A lot of people end up in bad relationships, toxic by all accounts, and then they break up, and all their friends tell them how they really felt. We never liked him/her, you could do so much better etc. Then that couple inevitably will get back together, even though everyone advised against it, and even though deep down they know it is a bad idea, but the comfort level of the relationship was too risky to give up. So they get back together, have a great makeup, and almost immediately, one party remembers why they so desperately wanted out in the first place. Oooooopsie!

This song chronicles a couple in that exact spot, and for some reason getting back together did not fix all the problems that had been building up since the relationships inception! Youth truly is wasted on the young, and we all seem to perceive ourselves as younger than we actually are. Lyrics: Last night I tried to leave you Next night you tried to leave too That's not how it's supposed to go I thought that you would be better off If I would leave But I'm always finding my way home Well I wasn't going to stay and make it better No I wasn't going to stay and make it worse Well let's say I thought about it, You were here no doubt about it's wrong So, let's scream and shout about it Nothings wrong pretending we're still young Youth is wasted on the young Lets take another look now How things work verse how things broke out That's not how it's supposed to go You thought I was asleep, but I was out there in the streets Chasing some one all alone  Well I wasn't going to stay and make things better No, I wasn't going to stay and make it worse You were the first one, and things hadn't started off well You are the first, taking it all on yourself Well let's say I thought about it, You were here no doubt about it's wrong So, let's scream and shout about it Nothings wrong pretending we're still young Youth is wasted on the young I guess, I think too much Well I guess, I feel a touch I've never had to betray I am what I am, I'm afraid You don't, know when You lose, or when you win Well let's say I thought about it, You were here no doubt about it's wrong So, let's scream and shout about it Nothings wrong pretending we're still young Youth is wasted on the young

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 48

Howdy folks, this week’s song is called, Pure. This is currently my favorite song of the whole lot. It’s got a big rocking hook and a dance hall tempo that could get ya jumping on your feet. And just like any good party anthem, this one is about faith. As complicated and personal as many people’s religious belif systems go, the only one I can adhere to is: No one knows for sure. I feel a healthy amount of skepticism is just as useful as a healthy amount of faith.

Belief and doubt can both go a long ways but as soon as some one is claiming to have answers, I’m out: “You can call it what you want Or you can call it whats pure But I can't commit to what your selling, if you’re telling me you know for sure”

The second verse plays on the, “When God closes a door, he opens up a window” saying. It’s a nice thought, but it doesn’t hold a lot of water, especially when held up to stories from the old testament. When God closed the door on Job, he boarded up a window, and then set the house on fire. That one does work quite as well as a cross stitch on pinterest. Lyrics: If you can't tell me what your doing love You better take me far away If you can't tell me where you're going love   You better put me in a crib or a cage I'm sorry that you like that I'm sorry there's no cure I'm sorry for you like that Don't waste a moment trying to make it pure You got me running around with my mind made up I was running around with my mind made up I was running around I was running around Hey hey what you say, I don't believe in Nothing Hey hey what you say, Do you believe in something? Hey hey what you say, I don't believe in nothing Hey hey what you say, you can call it what you want Or you can call it whats pure When God closes a door, he opens up a window When God closes a door, he slams it right in your face When God closes a door, he opens up a window When God closes the window, it shatters every place When God closes a door he opens up a window When God closes a door he slams it right in your face When God closes a door he opens up a window When God closes the window it shatters every pain You got me running around with my mind made up I was running around with my mind made up I was running around I was running around Well I never follow the leader I was never good at getting in line and If I'm gonna have a fever It's gonna be as hot as the fire inside It's gonna be as hot as the fire inside It's gonna be as hot as the fire inside Hey hey what you say, I don't believe in Nothing Hey hey what you say, Do you believe in something Hey Hey What you see I don't believe in nothing Hey hey what you say you can call it what you want Or you can call it whats pure But I can't commit to what your selling, if you’re telling me you know for sure Because no one knows for sure No one knows for sure Everyone dies the same way 

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 47 Howdy folks, this week’s song is called, Marionette. This song examines the meaning and significant/insignificance of free will. I came up with the verse chord progression that I really liked and started singing about a marionette controlling my strings. Every time things start looking good, old man marionette takes over and makes life more difficult. Some times when life is hard it’s easier to blame it on something larger than yourself. The “life is a bitch” mentality implies the very existence of life is synonymous with struggle. Life will always be a struggle, work, relationships, bills, health, mundane chores, etc. Sometimes the struggle is big, sometimes the struggle is small, but it nearly always is inconvenient in some way. That’s what the marionette represents in this song, free will certainly exists, but to what extent does it have an impact, once you think you’re out, you just get pulled back in. You can run, or you can stay, but you can never ever really escape : )

Lyrics: (Whispers) Wake up Well what's that, I open up my eyes I'm hearing something strange So I'll be right back, I head down stairs And all I can hear is the sound of the the rain I could run away, I could run away I could spend the rest of my days afraid Well I could run today or I could run and stay But I could never ever really escape From this old man marionette is killing me, Pulling at my strings Old man what is left of free willingness What’s controlling me? Don't let go of your soul You and I were whole We've seen it all before You and I let go (Whispers) Wake up Well what's that, I turn my head, And I turn the steering wheel to the right But it was too fast, a giant crash, A semi speeding through the stop sign  We could be better we could part of the purpose we wanted to star We could be better we could be better but we never really get very far This old man marionette is killing me, pulling at my strings Old man what is left of free willingness What's controlling me? Don't let go of your soul You and I were whole We've seen it all before You and I let go Nobody loves the one on top We love the underdog Even though we want to be on top We love the underdog Someday we're going to be on top We love the underdog Someday we're going to be on top Don't let go of your soul You and I were whole We've seen it all before You and I let go I'm going to leave you there, I'm going to leave you there Don't let go, because I don't want to go I'm going to leave you there, leave you there Don't let go, because I don't want to stop

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 46

This week’s song is called, In the Dirt. This song is about what to do with your body when you die. For many years, I thought I wanted to be cremated, I even had a song with the lyrics, “when I die, I don’t want to be buried underground, I’d rather burst into flames, and have my ashes dance around.” While I like that imagery of my ashes dancing in the wind, I know would much rather my body return to the earth and be apart of our beautiful ball of dirt. I would not occupy a casket, rather buried in the ground so my body can decompose into the soil, provide nutrients and life. My body could be planted with a tree or a bush, or a sunflower. Instead of a gravestone to visit, I could literally be apart of a tree that bares fruit. After all I’ve taken from Mother Earth, the least I could do is give back some of my nutrients. The Chorus of the song asks a question my father and I talk about a lot. “Oh could you tell me why I'm here Won't you tell me why you’re gone Oh tell me why you're here Oh tell me why I'm gone“ This fall my parents got in a terrible car accident. A semi truck ran a stop sign and t-boned them. The car crumbled like a soda can, and both my parents survived. A lot of my parent’s friends have made comments like, “you must’ve had an angle watching over you.” Which is a nice comment to make. But then a week later, two teenagers were driving home from playing basketball and they hit a patch of ice, hit a tree and were killed instantly. Did they not have an angel watching over them? They had their whole life in front of them. Why do some people go early, why are some people still here? Is there any rhyme or reason? Is it all chaos? Should we feel a sense of purpose if we are here? I don’t think we will be given any answers anytime soon, so I guess it doesn’t hurt to imagine, if we are still here, the least we could do, is do something worth while with our time.

Lyrics: Bury me underground Let my body turn into it I'll fill the dirt in the ground with my precious nutrients     Roots could grow in my mouth, a tree could sprout from head Let the bugs crawl around, and eat the rest of my flesh Oh it's the least I could do Is give my body back to you, mother earth Oh give my body back to you in the dirt Is give my body back to you, mother earth Oh give my body back to you, so my existence can reverse Oh could you tell me why I'm here Won't you tell me why you’re gone Oh tell me why you're here Oh tell me why I'm gone I'll turn into a tree I'll turn into a bush I'll turn into a dandelion fly stuck inside a spiders hooks I've got too much life to give I've got too much life to not make something else live I've got too much love to give I've got too much life not help something else  live If you dig what I put down Well, then there's nothing to do If you dig underground they let your body lose it You better call before you dig You better call before you dig Oh could you tell me why I'm here Won't you tell me why you’re gone Oh tell me why you're here Oh tell me why I'm gone And when I die I'll be buried underground I lived my life so I'm fairly astounded I do What is right and what matters in the end You can stay alive because matters never ending Don't Wake me up, or I'll roll over run my grave Don't Dig me up so You can take me somewhere safe and Because I've seen enough and I still got my memory Well I give up now let me decompose away To you, Mother Earth Oh give my body back to you in the dirt Is give my body back to you, mother earth Oh give my body back to you, so my existence can reverse Well you don't know why you’re still living You don't know why they're all gone you don't know why you’re still living You don't know why they're all gone

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 45

Howdy folks, this week’s song is called Societal Norms. Sometimes I write fan fiction about my friends. Sometimes that has gotten me into trouble, as some people don’t like to have parts of their life co-opted for lyrical content. That’s fair, but once the concept of this song came together, it was too comical to me to change it. This song is about two of my friends who were once romantically linked but are now both happily married to someone else. What this song proposes, is that they were actually soulmates, and have both made huge mistakes! The joke of course being that they were not a good fit, so the song is not realistic at all. But in the song, I refuse to attend their wedding because I would have to scream my objections for the whole congregation to hear. This song has a lot of parts and many more were left on the cutting room floor. Please enjoy. Lyrics: I don't think you care enough about Everything we care about to know I don't think you have to burn the sand To find the window to your soul You can believe what you want, but we live in a society I'm sorry El, It's a no from me, on your wedding RSVP It's a no from me I'm sorry I don't support this love at all and I object, I object I can't hold my peace in at all How is this anyway, How is this anyway, How is this anyway, How is this anyway to live? Is this anyway to live?

Everything I've heard about him makes me believe That Bryon is your soul mate, soul mate Soul mate erase me Bryon is your soulmate Oh Elanor, Why did you move back home Oh God Elanor, why did you take with me everything I know Who's this guy What's his name Why did you let Bryon go Who's this guy Are you insane For letting a man like Bryon go How is this anyway, How is this anyway, How is this anyway, How is this anyway to live? Is this anyway to live? Because I get it wrong Get it wrong, get away from Get it wrong, get it wrong Get it away from me Sometimes, I swear It doesn't take a lot of time for something I love to escape It doesn't take a lot of time for something I love to escape my care It's just one more, one more night Until we get back home It's just one more one more night Take me back to everything I know

[samuelandthewilburbots]

On Year in Music: Week 44

Howdy folks, this song is called 1978. This song is about someone who lives in fear their whole life. He imagines getting betrayed by friends, he imagines dying of cardiac arrest, he is consumed by fear. Then one day, out of the blue he dies, but he is not yet free. Now as a ghost, he is forced to observe his entire life from above, and he sees how he wasted it. As much as he tries to change his past, he cannot. Upon this realization, he is finally free of this world, and now shines bright as a star above, lol. Lyrics:

It's just one more night till your taking the knife from my back Put it back, put it back, put it back We got one more life, if you give me a heart attack (attack attack) I'm scared of what, I'm scared of everything But I care enough, I care enough either way

Now I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm getting afraid I wanna see your heart, I wanna see your face I wanna get along, get along, get along in every way

I want to see you when the stars coming out tonight I want to see you when the stars coming out tonight We get better each day, I get better each day

If you think I’m pale now Just waiting till I'm dead I'll be white as a ghost with a sheet over it's head I'm gonna haunt you For the rest of my day I'm going to haunt you for the rest of my stay

Now I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm getting afraid I wanna see your heart, I wanna see your face I wanna get along, get along, get along in every way

Well I'm tired of floating around I've seen enough of this world, and  I'm ready for the ground   I wanna find my soul so I can die a little I wanna find my soul,  so I can go home

I want to see you when the stars coming out tonight I want to see you when the stars coming out tonight We get better each day, I get better each day

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 43

Howdy folks, this week’s song is called Stop the Train. It is about a young man who travels west in search of riches to bring back to his family. Along with riches, he is looking to prove himself as one of the great gunslingers and train robbers. You know, relatable stuff! This song started in an old band I was in junior year in college called Belgium’s Awakening (lol). It was my two roommates and drummer we found by searching drummers on Facebook. We wrote about 5 songs and had a blast. This chord progression seems to evoke a desert in my mind, so a little western showdown seemed like a fun genre to tackle.

Lyrics Are you gonna crumble? Are you gonna mend? There's only one way a standoff like this is going to end Ten paces towards the sunrise Ten paces in the wind Whoever draws the fastest decides which afterlife begins But you won't, you won't, shoot to win I won't complain I won't confess I'll stop the train I was the best of the best of the best of the best I'm selling everybody sawdust I'm telling everybody that justice has no name It's the first time that your bleeding from me Well the first one is the last one and the last one sets you free I'm gonna take my time going to commit these crimes I'm gonna see my family again I wanna see what's left of the wildest west I wanna plant my feet in the sand You did it again, you did it again, and again, and again It's the first time that your bleeding from me Well the first one is the last one and the last one sets you free It's getting hot, I can't believe I'm making out with everything Your screaming out, down on your knees I'm out the door, I've fled the scene I want to tell you what I saw love, saw love I want to tell you what I saw when I heard you scream Well it's insane (did you want) It's insane (to say my name) It's insane (then you better say it to my face) I'm dreaming out, I can't complain I've seen the world, I held the train Don't you know, where you've been I can't believe this never ends

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 42

Howdy folks, this week’s song is called Freedom Paradise. It’s a fun 3 chord song that gets the heart pumping a bit. The song is about how sometimes you are lying in bed at night and you come to some great conclusions or have an epiphany, but then you fall asleep, and in the morning you can no longer remember you solution or in the light of day it seems ultimately dumb.

There’s a line in the song that says, “I don’t even know what I like anymore, I don’t even know what’s fun.”

So much of my 20′s was spent going to happy hours and parties on the weekend, that’s just what I assumed I liked to do, that was widely considered fun so I accepted it as truth (and tbh, it was very fun most of the time). But when my 30′s came around, people started having families and all of a sudden I had a lot more free time. It’s amazing how much down time you can have in a weekend if you don’t spend all of Friday and Saturday drinking with friends. Lyrics: When I woke up I was filled with solutions I had a lot of stuff on my mind But now I'm here and all I feel is confusion How the hell did I loose that line All that's missing is you I'm starting to feel like I can see to the future I'm starting to say what's really on my mind I don't even know what I like anymore I don't even know what's fun I don't even know what I like anymore I don't even know what I want It’s freedom paradise Freedom, don’t ask twice Freedom paradise I came here with a lot of solutions I came here with the clearest mind But now that I'm here all I see is pollution Now the sun can't even reach the sky Now now now now give it away I don't even know what I like anymore I don't even know what's fun I don't even who I like anymore I don't even know what I want  It’s freedom paradise Freedom, don’t ask twice Freedom paradise No further questions your honor I got nothing else plead No further questions your honor I've got no blood left to bleed

No further questions your honor You can bang your gavel all night No further questions you honor Except can I see your daughter tonight? It’s freedom paradise Freedom, don’t ask twice Freedom paradise Well you keep crawling back every single night no no no You keep crawling back don't give up the fight no no no You keep crawling back coming back coming for more fore more for more 

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 41

This week’s song is called Out of Touch. In 2013 I was doing a comedy show at Stub and Herbs on campus in Minneapolis. Right before I went on stage, the girl I was dating at the time texted me, “I don’t know how else to say this but, we need to talk.” I knew something was up because she had been acting unusually distant the last few days, so even though it stung like hell, part of it was a relief because the state of unknown, constantly checking my phone to see if she had responded was way worse. I texted back, “Sounds good, I’m anticipating great news!” and then I went on stage and bombed my face off.

After my set, I slammed a Summit EPA and rode my bike to face the music. This was the first time I was really dumped hard, and tbh, I recommend it to everyone. The next day, I woke up and went to my job doing an 8 week substitute art teacher position at a residential treatment center for teenagers. Needless to say I was in good company with the extreme teenage angst and emo-friendly students. That day I got home from work, walked straight to the piano, and pounded on the keys with force and this came pouring out.

Lyrics: It wasn't the way that you said it It was just what you said You can feel any type of way about me but don't treat me like I'm dead Because you lose what you lose and you take what you take and you do what you do at least you said to my face Because you needed to escape So you climbed up heaven's gate It's true and it's true. I lead with no voice It's true and it's true. I lead with no voice I don't like the way that you told me off But I understand it's your place I don't really like feeling lost I don't like feeling disgraced What time is it, why is your heart broken What lie is this? Who have you been showing? I was here when you were blind I told you something I was here before your kind I know it's nothing I didn't want, you to get better (believe it all from the start) I didn't want, you to remember (leaving it all fall apart) And it hurts all the time Because it's all apart of the worst day ever It falls apart on the first day together It's all apart of the worst wave ever known I am out of touch, so out of touch, so out of touch with you My old friend It's all apart of the worst day ever It falls apart of the worst day together it's all apart of the first day together it's all apart of our first date together and it's all apart and it's all apart again and it's all apart from the very start again I am out of touch so out of touch I believe when I see myself That I didn't want to get better I'll never forgive myself I didn't want to remember

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 40

This week’s song is called, Dream (Alarm Clock). It is about believing in yourself. The chorus tells us to “dream so big you can’t see sleep, because your future is to bright.” I dream of a beautiful world where you never have to set another alarm clock. Never again. Because sometimes it feels like we are playing life’s video game on the hardest difficulty setting, and we are stuck on a level we hate, but we have to keep going with the knowledge that it will someday get better, and we will make it onto the next one eventually. Lyrics: Well hold me hold me what are you trying to do I'd like to know if you are still doing fine You sold me sold me at a quarter to two Well I was hoping we could catch up some time It feels like an underground level It feels like were playing at the hardest difficulty it feels like underwater level, it feels like the whole world's working against me  It goes on and on and on It goes on and on and on Dream, so big you can’t see So big you can’t sleep Because your future is, your future is to bright Can’t sleep because your future is reflecting all the light Hold me hold me hold me closer within I wanna see where this going want to see it begin Tell me tell me what are you trying to find   Are you gonna leave another person without having someone next in line It feels like an underground level It feels like were playing at the hardest difficulty it feels like underwater level, it feels like the whole world's working against me It goes on and on and on It goes on and on and on Dream, so big you can’t see So big you can’t sleep Because your future is, your future is to bright Can’t sleep because your future is reflecting all the light Never ever again, Never ever set another alarm clock At seven AM

I’ve seen it all before and I know that it gets better I’ve seen it all before and I hope that you get better I’ve seen it all before and I hope that it gets better I’ve seen it all before and I hope that it gets better

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 39

This week’s song is called, The Future of this World. The first verse is about a girl just wanting to leave her house and not have to worry about predatory men following her. A very common fear that women face all of the time. 2016 was the first time I felt a similar sensation. Now with a sexual predator in the white house, there are no fears and existential dread to experience every day! My fear isn’t harassment, just giant unfixable damage done to our planet and our most vulnerable citizens and allies that could happen any day when the man that happens to be in control of the largest military in the world, is also the dumbest/childish person in the world. “There's life at stake They'll be blood on your hands I can't believe the world’s fate Rests in your little hands” 

Lyrics: Outside my window There's a stranger down below And they're changing out their clothes Oh god I hope that they just go Because I don't want to die When I leave here tonight When I leave here tonight, I want to be left alone So I'll leave here alone And I won't be followed home And I won't be followed home by you tonight, oh God I hope And it doesn't really matter It doesn't mean much in the end Cmon' really what's the matter? What's the matter, are you tired of living? If you remember, you don't remember the first time we left this place I don't remember, you don't remember meeting me face to face There's a good chance you won't know what I’m saying to you now but I'd like you to know I want to see you again So I’ll see you again And I won't be bothered when Cuz I can no longer pretend I want to see your face again And it'd doesn't really matter It doesn't mean much in the end C’mon' really what's the matter? What's the matter, are you tired of living? There's life at stake They'll be blood on your hands Can't believe the world’s fate Rests in your little hands   There's life at stake They'll be blood on your hands There's too much at stake for you little hands This world is burning this world is burning for us all This world is burning this world is burning to the ground

So take so take so take your hand away Your hand away from mine Just take, just take your hand away Get it out of my sight

And does it even matter? What does it all mean in the end? But if you and I are all but matter Then it matters, because we’re all still living

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 38

This week’s song is called: He We Are. This song is about how we live under beautiful stars, yet we can’t even look up at them and see their full wonder because of all the street lights, and bill boards obstructing them. Additionally we are destroying our planet by depleting it of all of its natural resources. My favorite line of the song is coming to terms with the fact that I am not really doing anything to stop it. “I don't know why,  I don't take my own advice I'd rather be apart of what is happening now I ran out of time, to make my sacrifice and the world falls apart with or without us now”

It’s easy to point out mankind’s foibles, but its infinitely harder to do anything about them.

Lyrics: Did you tell me that we were lost before we go But I don't think it's gonna end all right You could tell me, that we are lost when were lost when you go I'd rather fall asleep then watch you not coming I'd rather call the police if your not if your not coming in. Did you you tell me you lost it Did you say my name I don't think that you had crossed it It doesn't sound that strange I'm not Trying to sound dramatic But it kind of effects me if we destroy our planet then what are we expecting I didn't even plant everyone sitting next to me but here we are, yet here we are Here we are under stars but we can't look up at them All The lights and cars and the construction is obstructing them Yet here where trying to wrap our little heads around it.   Yet here we are keep on tapping all our resources out Were depleting them out we keep bleeding them out like were not gonna run out but were gonna run out I don't know why,  I don't take my own advice I'd rather be apart of what is happening now I ran out of time, to make my sacrifice and world falls apart with or without us now I guess it's not over it, what will we get when it's gone gone because someday it'll be gone I spent all my life and all my life again I'd rather fall asleep then watch you not coming I'd rather call the police if your not if your not coming in. Did you you tell me you lost it Did you say my name I don't think that you had crossed it It doesn't sound that strange I'm not Trying to sound dramatic But it kind of effects me if we destroy our planet then what are we expecting I didn't even plant everyone sitting next to me but here we are, yet here we are Here we are under stars but we can't look up at them All The lights and cars and the construction is obstructing them Yet here where trying to wrap our little heads around it.   Yet here we are keep on tapping all our resources out Were depleting them out We keep bleeding them out Like were not gonna run out But were gonna run out

[samuelandthewilburbots]

On Year in Music: Week 37

This week’s song is called Be Somewhere. I came up with the main riff and chord progression just by noodling around and when I first recorded it, I accidentally wrote 10 verses worth of lyrics and melodies, so much came flooding out. I made a really long version of the song but could never figure out how to shorten it because I had heard it so many times. I took a few years off from it and I think I got a workable version now.

This song tells the frantic story of how when you don’t have anything you have to do, you can end up finding yourself in a world of trouble.

Lyrics: Well life's short, don't let the world get you down At the same time, pleading ignorance doesn't help us out You gotta Keep on moving keep on moving keep on move away from All these distraction their attacking every fact they move away from And you don't know where your waiting for where your waiting for I gotta be some where, I gotta be somewhere in the morning but not right now I feel impaired, I feel impaired, I don't feel very important but that's not quite now Well nice try but get your ass back in line you gotta wait like everyone else, we move just one at a time I think if you remember just one thing last night I hope that I remember you   I don't remember everything perfectly right but I remember talking now, talking to you I know were just talking, just talking I gotta be some where, I gotta be somewhere in the morning but not right now I feel impaired, I feel impaired, I don't feel very important but that's not quite now Well good for you, you committed a crime But now you see the red and blue shining sirens behind So you pull over to the right right now You got 7 squad cars and they are flagging you down There’s no holding, there’s no holding any more You got to put your hands above your head and your head on the floor You got it all wrong, all wrong all wrong again Information’s all gone all gone You got it all wrong, all wrong all wrong again  situations all long all long all long again I won't be here anymore I’m going to live my life I won't be here anymore I’m going to take my time I am I am I am a little too late I am I am I am overrated I am I am I am underwhelmed I am I am simulated I am I'm not myself I gotta be some where, I gotta be somewhere in the morning but not right now I feel impaired, I feel impaired, I don't feel very important but that's not quite now, and it’s not over

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music Week 36: 

This week’s song is called It’s All Alright. Certain songs take on different meaning based on when the lyrics were written. I wrote these lyrics during the dog days of February. In Minnesota February is when you are hitting your 100th consecutive winterish day. That’s a lot to take for one’s morale. Especially last winter when we had record low temps and multiple days with -20 in a row. When you have to get up at 6am and enter that world. Scrape off a car when you are running late, your car can’t even warm up before you get to work. You work all day, leave work, have to scrape your windshield again, and by the time you get home it is dark out. It can feel like a Shiningesque lifestyle. Getting out of bed gets a little more challenging each day, but hang in there, It’s All Alright in the end : ) Lyrics

Could you tell me you lost everyone at home Could you tell me what is wrong and what is right Could you tell me that you know that we’re alone That you know that we’re alone  And we are  all right We’re all right

I'm telling, I'm telling I'm not gonna lie here on my face anymore I'm telling, I'm telling I'm not gonna lie here with my face on the floor But I like you, okay? And did you know that you were taken from me? You were taken everybody by surprise It's nice to know that you had shaken the seas but You had long long lost that look inside your eyes This veil is over, over again It's pulled over, over your eyes I'm telling, I'm telling I'm not gonna lie here on my face anymore I'm telling, I'm telling I'm not gonna lie here with my face on the floor I don't wanna be scared anymore of the morning I don't wanna be scared anymore, scared to greet the day Because I’m afraid

You tried it you don't like you don't do it anymore it makes sense yeah you know it makes sense

You tried it you don't like You don't do it anymore You tried it you don't like And you can’t even afford It makes sense You haven’t done it sense