samuelljacksoff - Tumblr blog

[samuelljacksoff]

Saw this gofundme on twitter and have not seen anyone post it on here too, it's for a family trying to escape the war in Sudan, please help if you can

If gofundme doesn't work, paypal is @hajokest

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I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

[samuelljacksoff]

To whom it may concern,

If you have had the misfortune, of finding this note, then you are most likely the new owner of this property. And for that, I can only apologise, and offer my condolences.

I have done everything within my power, to ensure that this property never gains a new owner, but as the years go by, and my body and mind begin to fail me, I fear that all of my preparations, might have been in vain, as one can never hope to fully prepare for every eventuality. 

As such, all I can do now, is offer what little advice, I have managed to gather over the years, in the hopes that whichever poor soul, is reading this, will be able to avoid the fate that myself, and all those before me, were doomed to. 

1 - Never extinguish, or move, the lantern in the attic.

2 - If the lantern moves by itself, do not try and put it back in its usual place. It will return there in due time.

3 - Never use the back door. It does not lead to where you think it does, and it is locked for a reason.

4 - If said reason, starts knocking, or scratching, at that door, do not respond, but be sure to cook a little extra that night, and try to pretend you do not notice, when there is nothing left behind, come the morn.

5 - Never remove flowers from the garden, without having something on hand, to give back in return.

6 - Do not light the fireplace on the north wall. There is something living there, and the flames will be seen as an invitation.

7 - Those are not people, by the lake, and they do not like it when you stare.

8 - Do not touch the apple tree. You cannot afford what they cost.

9 - The fourth step, will squeak if you step on it during the day. Pay no attention to how it growls, when you do so at night.

10 - Never leave a mirror uncovered, when you leave a room. These too, will be taken as an invitation, and not all guests, are as polite as the chimney beast.

11 - Mysterious books should be avoided at all costs. 

12 - No, that corner was not always that dark. Do not try and investigate it.

13 - Do not respond to the whispering you hear during the night. They do not only seek to wake you.

Good luck, dear stranger. 

May you succeed, where all before you, have failed.

[samuelljacksoff]

“You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important. Art would not be important if life were not important, and life is important.”

— James Baldwin, Conversations with James Baldwin

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Bees don’t fly in the dark!

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ladies……….you know what time it is

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I need everyone to see this

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David Lynch: The Art Life (2016)

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I’m curious what do you have against the MCU?

completely took over an industry that was already restricted by nepotism and wealth and privilege and made it even harder for any new or creative or diverse ideas to be made and convinced millions of people that having lots of cgi is good cinema so now everything is so polished and shiny and ugly and soulless but still has this unearned cult of worship surrounding it so NOBODY can dare point out the military propaganda or bare minimum diversity or frankly bland filmmaking because if you do you're just a loser and it doesn't matter if you're a movie lover who just wants new and different content or martin scorcese because marvel has completely taken over cinema and criticism is not allowed because how DARE people not give a shit about iron man or loki and there's no need for decent characterisation or complex themes because it's easier to just make villains that are like "capitalism is bad...and also MURDERING CHILDREN IS OKAY!!!" so you can put out your sloppy storylines and make people think it's the morally righteous thing to do to pay money to watch every single one of your sequels and spin offs and reboots and whenever people start to complain about how the film and tv industry is becoming a husk of repetition you just shove benedict cumberbatch in the next spiderman movie or whatever because how can people be mad that we're making sure we're slowing sucking life out of the moving image when we're doing such fun crossovers? and of course all these crossovers are SO important so you have to watch all fifty movies and twenty shows and thirty spinoffs to understand anything else in our universe and you're damn sure we're going to be releasing the next thing as soon as the other is out of theatres or is out of episodes because we CANNOT have people straying and finding media that isn't owned by us at least not until our parent company has bought out that media as well because absolutely everything has to be disney and WE'RE the powerhouse right now and you are never going to escape it and if you want your work to get any kind of support or funding then you better hope you're lucky, know someone rich or with connections, or it features captain america because otherwise you can get fucked but don't worry sometimes we have movies abpout women too so we're actually a #girlboss cinematic universe and if you don't like the stuff we make then you HATE WOMEN and you HATE CINEMA and you HATE PEOPLE BEING HAPPY and originality and creativity is a myth and you're either with us or against us but if you're not with us prepare to find us following you all the fucking time anyway because you are NOT allowed to have interests outside of the MCU we are everywhere and either you will watch spiderloki 58: captain marvel: the revenge of environmentalists or we will fucking kill you ourselves

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My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: I just can’t do it! I don’t want to !! I can’t!! Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Take a deep breath, it’s going to be ok. We don’t have to do everything today that’s overwhelming you. Let’s pick the most important thing to work on, ok? What’s the smallest step we can do to work towards that? My toddler brain, wiping away tears: Um, I think we should…open up the important spreadsheet and look at the first row. Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Great! Let’s do that, and then we can have a popsicle, ok? My toddler brain: *nods through drying tears, upset, but cooperative*

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Gotta make money somehow

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Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours

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still very badly want a christmas romcom where the real santa falls in love with a mall santa

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