samurai-instillment

[samurai-instillment]

Day 10:

09:40: I'm done with my morning stuff (sorta). Had a good workout two hours so, my body is on fire. Also had breakfast with tea (no coffee😥). I wish I had a propper home gym tho, I'll probably build one once I get the money to. Speaking of money, I'll get to the job search after my nap, I didn't get enough sleep so I'm trying to squeeze in 2-3 hours before I do my day stuff. I'll put up an update later tonight.

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Day 9:

13:33: I missed yesterday's update but I got so tired. Did 3 drills, actually 4, but I legit overworked myself. Not so much on the mental workout or the job search, but I did apply to a few places so yay at least. I haven't worked out yet, but we're going to have a 2+ hour session later on.

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Day 7:

00:08 (next day): pretty good day. Did what I usually do, nothing too eventful today, but that's Sundays right.

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Day 6:

19:53: I've just been given a harsh challenge by someone. Well, not harsh, not even a challenge really. It was just something somebody said to me, "ask me again in 5 months", easy peasy if you ask me. I saw someone posing a challenge, and, well, I think I can do it.

I know I cant just change who I am from where I am now in just 6 months, it takes time, consistency, and relentless push, but I can still change a lot in just 6 months. And I'm just wondering, what if this is the switch, that button finally going off, what if, this moment, is the decisive point. I know I can do 6 months, and even if that is my aim, I want this 6 months to turn into a year, two years, 6 years, and another 60 to add onto this hectic thirty I alreadg have.

I think I found it. And I'm gonna rock with it.

[samurai-instillment]

bambashkart

[samurai-instillment]

"Anywhere you can lead your life, you can lead a good one."

-Marcus Aurelius

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Day 5:

22:22: I had fun today. I really pushed myself to the limit and had fun with it. Doing this everyday would be so much fun.

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Day 4:

23:49: I did something today. I'm happy. Burpees are awesome, I should do them more often. I'm still still pretty good at some stuff I like to do, I should keep doing them too.

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Day 3:

12:40 am (next day): wtf you think you're doing man? You're slipping again. But you can see the light. Leave it, leave alla that! Don't carry baggage you really don't need to this shit. You know you, the one you're writing this for, doesn't have this shit and that just easily means you can live without it yourself. Change the habits, its as easy as that, no matter how hard it can get.

[samurai-instillment]

Day 2:

18:13: Yesterday was a good day, did what I set out to do. But today is tough, i didn't do my morning workout, I've found myself back in the one habit I can't seem to crack (because I'm bored and unproductive), I'm gonna make sure I don't slip though. Tonight, I'll work out twice as hard to make up for missing my morning workout. Hopefully I'll be fine and I won't slip.

[samurai-instillment]

My Raw Honest Intro:

I've never thought I'd hit rock bottom, but here I am, 30 years old, unemployed, and staring at the wreckage of my own choices. Its not pretty, and it sure as hell ain't easy to admit. But I'm done running from the mirror. This blog is a blueprint for changex my diary of redemption, and my oledge to build the man I've always wanted to be. If you're lose like I am, maybe we can figure this out together.

I've done lots in my life, but at the same time, i truly have not lived. But how does anyone who is in my shoes even know how not to fuck up? I never had any real guidance, nobody thought it was necessary and I was practically coddled from the very harsh water of this world (or maybe I just didn't listen), so here I am.

The Switch Up

About a few years ago, I had a sorta breakdown, laid on my bed, looking up, just getting flashback of every fumble, blunder, and terrible mistake I've ever made. I finally decided to change my life in hope for something better. But still, old habits die hard, especially when you try to build with no foundation to begin with. And this blog is something to fix that, one pillar of a foundation that will help me be who I am meant to be.

Body, Mind, and Spirit

My ultimate goal has always been to be able to do a one handed handstand. Going from a guy with barely any physical prowess (can't even run 30 nerd metres without hyperventilating) to someone who can maintain such an athletic feat isn't gonna be easy, and by my calculations, it should take me about 3-5 years just to get there.

Planning on working out consistently, twice a day, for 5 days a week. This won't just be for me to achieve that ultimate goal, but to better my health, and my mind. With this as a part of my routine that will be with me for the rest of my life. I wanna be the husband other husbands look at and think "damn, no wonder his wife is so happy", or the dad who can actually live up to the "my dad can beat up your dad" claims my kids will be spouting off, I wanna get to 80 and still have the body and stamina to run the Comorades Marathon back and forth.

"Do something you love"

Now while my career isn't what I studied when I was in college, its something I found myself loving the money I started working. About a year or two after leaving varsity, I found myself a job as a web dev, learning from scratch of course, and I've loved it since. But because of the place I worked at, plus my foolish mind, I quit I'm hopes that I could make more money working freelance. But the deal that was supposed to actually put me on fell through, basically rendering me jobless and moneyless again.

But now I'm looking for anothet job, and I'm determined to use this as a stepping stone to getting my oen business up until I become the greatest in the world (everybody wants to be the greatest) I know. Each day I'll jobhunt and I'll keep improving my skills, learning more coding languages, and just getting myself on the right track for world domination.

The First C is Camera

Man, I just want to make art with people who make art. That's literally my one dream in this life.

I don't know why but the thought of capturing and bringing am artist's work to life is one of the best jobs ever. Like... When James Arthur and Metroboomin came together for them songs, I wish I was there to at least capture that moment, or be the one to make its music video. Or taking someone's written work and trying your best to make justice of the world this person built in the minds. Shit even some none-artist people, just seeing them do what they do and turning that into some sorta art is amazing, turning an accountant's routine into a painting, making a busy air traffic control office into a symphony. Just... taking something and making art out of it, that's the best job anybody could ever have.

Maybe I'll start taking photos again, maybe I'll get my editing up to par with the world standards, but I'll see how I can make it back into the space again.

Let's Get It!

So... Yeah. That's my intro to this blog. If you see this and you see me not posting, please keep my accountable. I could use as much as I can.

[samurai-instillment]

Day 1:

10:51: I've just finished some of my morning stuff. Worked out a bit, cleaned up, though I haven't made my bed or showered yet (something keeps telling me to go to sleep).

I know I could easily start with the studying I said I wanna do, but I don't know what's keeping me from it. Maybe later in the afternoon I'll be able to do something.