samw-se

[samw-se]

lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

[samw-se]

[samw-se]

side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language

[samw-se]

“The ring is mine”

I had this idea for so longgg. It’s based of the Fallen Angel painting.

[samw-se]

hottest thing Austin Powers ever does btw 😵‍💫

[samw-se]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: none. brief mention of sex if you consider that a warning?

↳ song: what the world needs now is love—burt bacharach

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• How you two got together is beyond me. Between Austin's job as one of the worlds most famous— or infamous, depending how you look at it —spies, and his constant flings with women, it's a surprise the casanova managed to narrow the dating pool to just you. And vice versa, believe it or not. People are a lot more picky about dental hygiene than they were thirty years ago in the sixties, and Austin is painfully aware of it.

• Whether it was a mission appointed to you by Basil, some random night out on the town, or even just bumping into him on the streets of England as he runs from his mob of fans, it doesn't really matter. The two of you still met, and one way or another, ended up together.

• Just. Please. Don't make fun of his teeth and you'll be positively fine. He gets a little sensitive about them.

• All in all, Austin's a pretty good guy, and it shows. He tries his best to be a good partner, especially concidering he's still trying to get used to the nineties and their different standards. He's ready to hear you and anyone else out on proper etiquette, especially when it comes to things in a relationship. Although advice may slip his mind once or twice once he gets into the swing of things. He apologizes in advance.

• You will have to explain certain relationship boundaries to him while he listens with wide eyes and the occasional 'groovy!!', but at least you don't have to go through the whole monogamy talk. He's already got that down (thanks, Vanessa).

• The new-age relationship talk applies to sex as well, although he's a bit more intrigued by that (surprise surprise). Introduce him to bisexuality or the stoplight system, and he'd probably start vibrating in his seat just from excitement.

• "You're telling me I could have been shagging women and men all of these years? Groovy baby, positively groovy!!" Austin shifts from his place on the edge of the bed. He had been sitting there for a while, just watching with a gleam in his eyes as you list off all of the, erm, more exciting things to have changed in the realm of sexual prowess since he's been around

• You have to wait until he calms down to explain nonbinary people, which just ends up sending him into another gleeful rant all over again

• Please have little fashion shows for him at his shag pad!! Make him do little one-eighties of his retro outfits as he shows them off to you. It would make his entire day to do something like that with you complimenting or at the very least watching him.

• If there's one thing Austins bringing with him to the nineties, besides a can-do-aditude and a bald supervillian, it's fashion. Complete with all the lacey cravats and velvet suits a man could ever want. So yeah, makeshift fashion shows are a must.

• Speaking of things he would love to do with you— movie marathons! Nature documentaries! Binging best-selling books! All of these things would be great acitivies for a day when the two of you are looking to wind down. He hasn't had the chance to really catch up on pop culture between his job and parties, so go ham. Show him Star Wars, or the Little Shop Of Horrors back to back. Introduce him to your favorite up and coming bands: if only to get him to branch out from Burt Bacharach at the end of the day. You love Austin and his cheesy romance songs dearly, but listening to one album for months on end is enough to drive anyone crazy.

• As a forewarning, be prepared to deal with some of Austins nemesis' while you date him. Just because you're his partner, both in crime and in a relationship, doesn't mean Dr. Evil won't use that to his advantage. And by that, I mean attempt to kidnap you for leverage. It doesn't really work all too well though once you discover how easy it is to knock his henchmen out.

• Seriously. One half hearted chop to the neck, and they go down.

• "Really guys? One punch and you're crawling back to me like a pack of wounded hampsters???" All it takes is one look from Dr. Evil to have his men wincing before him. They all stand, either clutching an apendage, or with various bandaids plastered across their skin. "They're not even a freaking super spy!! Throw me a freakin' bone man!"

• "In our defense, Doctor, we didn't know they were going to fight back. Usually the partner just. Gives up." The head of the pack mutters, pointing an arm at you and wincing. You shrug awkwardly as everyone turns to look at you, choosing to ignore how Austin beams toothily with both pride and triumph from beside you.

• "Maybe invest in karate classes for your henchmen?" You suggest helpfully. The goons around you seem to momentarily forget you're the reason they're being all being berated in the first place as they nod with pleased smiles at the idea.

• "Darling, don't give the evil mastermind ideas!"

• Really. It's moments like those you wonder how Dr. Evil hadn't been stopped sooner.

[samw-se]

[samw-se]

[samw-se]

old Austin powers doodle btw bc he creeps to the back of my mind every few months

[samw-se]

Drop Dead Fred

[samw-se]