sandsoftide

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“She said, Did you know? Every birthday we got to have one person we’d invite and our mother and father would invite the rest, and Ianthe always invited whoever Babs didn’t want to see at the time, and I always invited you.

I said, I assumed your parents made me the invitation.

She said, it was always me.”

(brb going insane over As Yet Unsent bc I can’t resist doomed yuri)

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never wanted to leave | lottie & laura lee

Lottielee Weekend 3, Day 2: Time Travel

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lottieleeweekend day 1!!

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[...] the Tomb I will serve till the end of my days 

and then see me buried

in two hundred graves.

ig: d.ill.usion

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Constance mugshots

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happy hill house day

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Yknow what I'm bringing this up again, I've talked about how people only bring up sex/romance favorability as an excuse to ship fictional characters but thinking about it now, the aspec community is just as guilty of this because whenever it comes up it's ALWAYS on the topic of "is it okay to ship blorbo if they're canonically aroace" and not "hey maybe we should listen to sex/romance favorable people and try to understand their experiences better"

This community has an issue of only viewing certain parts of itself through the lense of fandom

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there is something there in how season one introduces characters that embody tropes (such as the burnout, the popular girl, the nerd, etc) that are subsequently deconstructed and played with; the impact of these tropes regarding how they are perceived is felt in universe and with how the audience sees things. and then in later seasons the characters are put into boxes yet again but this time very literally assigned more concrete roles within the group and well. call me crazy but perhaps these roles might also be restrictive and we shouldn't fall into the trap of defining the characters by them. its not like the show goes out of its way to show how damaging that is in universe or anything…

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cycle of abuse? wait you mean I get to do that stuff to other people :D

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Adult Tai in particular is such a great look at how ignoring your problems and bottling up your trauma is unsustainable! She constantly puts others before herself both with her attempts to be a leader in the teen timeline and then protecting their secret and looking out for Nat in the adult timeline. And it's only really in the adult timeline that we get to see her crumble under 25 years of repression and self sacrifice and struggle to find a balance between selfishness and selflessness. And yeah her writing gets messy in later seasons but I stand by s1 Adult Tai having one of the best plotlines in the entire show

the concept of not giving a fuck about the adult tl feels like a slap to the face. and i know, i know, this may seem like me just Saying That because im a mistynator and the bulk of mistynat is situated in the adult tl, but. even if you don't necessarily like it (i myself have had Issues with the choppy pacing/plot progression. though this is true with the teen tl too.), it feels unfathomable to just ignore it. how do you overlook that shauna, so monstrously, brazenly herself, retreats into the shell of expectation once she returns? how are you not smitten as she cracks it all over again? how do you ignore that in spite of all the hurdles thrown at her, taissa perseveres? that she builds a lavish life and family? how do you ignore the horror that comes with seeing such a beautiful thing being slowly wrenched from her fastidious grasp? (something that could have been written a lot better. a lot. but what more can we expect from that racist colourist writers room sigh). how do you find yourself indifferent to idealistic nat stripped down to her bare bones? the nat who once believed love was a fairy tale now fucking kevyn tan for a toxicology report? nat -- the epitome of 'let's find another way', who sought out food, who urged them home, who even in the pilot rebelled against the freezing out of allie. nat who has resigned herself to the fact that she's never going to get better. who sometimes drinks and does lines of coke and holds a rifle beneath her chin. and how do you find yourself apathetic to misty? who out of all the girls changes the least, and makes no attempt to shield it. who only really needs to be needed, wants to be wanted -- who chases kindness she cannot accept, in her heart of hearts. who loves so much it makes her sick -- as she's always done -- but accepts only the currency of indifferency in return. who remains frozen in time and chipped out by the axe of grief. who manipulates, as she has always done, herself as much as she does the rest.

but y'know. they're old. so who cares i guess.

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divorce quartet are all various flavors of aromantic to me

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mistylottie is SO fascinating to me i want to study them

LITERALLY. guys this is so serious im so close to opening a word doc like...........ive talked abt this with @lottieurl and i know @lesbianlotties also was talking to her abt it but. like. idk in my head they shouldnt work but they do??? (if u look deep into their dynamic and as characters) just in the sense that both of these women to some extent miss the authentic selves that they were in the wilderness, even if excruciatingly traumatic; they both cant separate or part with the grief and their roles as teenagers manifest deeply into their adulthood (misty is a literal nurse. lottie opens a wellness centre and becomes a cult leader) so they already have that foundation of being stuck in that formative experience that shaped them so deeply. and i think the friction they first feel at lotties cult as they reunite, can be taken as lottie seeing misty as the one who kept really enforcing lotties 'leader' role on her and is slightly resentful (re their scene in the attic concerning the hunt "dont go making us feel bad now" etc) but in my mind you can see that friction as just lottie being confronted with one of the rare people in her life from the wilderness that never truly saw her as this all knowing seer, never fully believed in the power of the wilderness or 'it' or even lotties power. hear me out.

misty has always been the one who tentatively goes with the prophet talk and just nods along to all the hunting and ritualistic talk but she never truly believed in it, she pragmatically saw that everyone just needed something to hold onto, and someone to look up to. so i think the simple act of lottie feeling so much on her shoulders all the time then having misty be one of the few who doesnt see her as some god, but as a person, is somewhat refreshing to lottie, ESPECIALLY once she hands over the leader role to nat. and so you think of their adult selves with this knowledge and fundamentally understand that lotties shock at seeing misty at her compound is a genuine realisation that if misty is here then is this truly all real? if misty is here, she mustn't be insane. and then they are all so, SO genuinely worried for lotties wellbeing and mental state and its so fascinating that up until now misty has been antagonistic and cold towards lottie, so call me delusional WHATEVER but you're then shown misty being confronted with the serious reality of lotties breakdown and murder suicide idea and mistys hackles raise. its like she reverts to her caretaker role and shes looking after a beaten and bruised lottie in the attic of an old shack. misty is immediately worried, jumps on the bandwagon to get lottie serious medical help, and when shes shot misty is the one by her side and treating lottie as a person, not some invincible god. its like. oh they are so interesting. oh there could be so much there. and i havent even TOUCHED on the shared grief they can bond over in s3 over nat. the shared grief as teenagers over crystal and laura lee. the understanding that as adults they have both lost so much. like can u hear me. do you get it. lottie pressed her hand to mistys chest during the birth and misty the nonbeliever calmed down, breathed deep, not bc lottie has powers, but bc shes lottie. insane. @ s3 dive into this its so fascinating to me

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day one - laura lee at lottie’s death

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Ok I’ll take the widows alliance w but NO GEM????

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i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

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oh???????? Wait????????

we could still get a ggg team. I guess

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confidently posting 'Real women shouldn't have to play against cis women in sports because cis women have wildly different testosterone levels compared to real women who manage theirs with medications.' in a facebook lesbian group then turning my notifications on vibrate and shoving my phone down my pants