sanusomaxxing

[sanusomaxxing]

[sanusomaxxing]

Sanji and Usopp being incredibly similar while also being different. Sanji being assigned a ram, or a goat as an animal. Usopp being connected to a sheep. Sanji being associated with demonic imagery and lambs being associated with angelic imagery. Usopp’s constant connections to heroes in old legends and religion and fables that he doesn’t even realize, and Sanji’s reinforcement that he’s just like the villains, the demons and dijin and 鬼 all across the world. Sanji’s fear that power is inherently evil while Usopp’s desire to have power so he can be seen as good. There’s. Something in that.

[sanusomaxxing]

I honestly am so obsessed with the idea of one-sided sanuso being unrequited by Sanji rather than Usopp. Sanji loves that guy so. So. Much. And there’s just something so. Uniquely devastating about it.

Like Yeah OF COURSE a love for the guy who’s insistent every second of every day of every hour that he’s STRAIGHTTTT STRAIGHT STRAIGHTTTTYTTTYY isn’t going to go well, Usopp is already doomed from the beginning in those scenarios!!!!

But Sanji?

Sanji? The guy who would see everything Usopp does with him as something special - hugging, looking for him, acting over-emotional, having FUN, wanting HIS protection - especially as someone whose protection has never been sought out before. As someone who was seen as weak. As a man who has a fragile sense of masculinity. As person who is comforted by his ability to protect and serve people. Who associates the act of doing so for someone with love. Romance.

He’s doomed.

He’s going to get swept away by it.

And he knows he’s doomed. He knows he’s wrong he knows he can’t think these things. He can’t feel these things he can’t WANT these things. He already hates that he does. He hates himself for it so goddamn much. He knows Usopp would hate him for it - No, he WANTS Usopp to hate him for it.

He wants Usopp to reel back if he hears this He wants to feel the bile rise up his throat as Usopp looks more and more sick He WANTS Usopp to run from him. He’s fucking disgusting.

It’s absolutely what he deserves.

But he hates it. He hates that’s the reality he’s fallen for he hates how that’s the punishment he’s been given he despises how he wants it because he loves Usopp so much more than the fate swings over his head like a gallows.

He doesn’t Usopp to ever have to throw up something he made for him.

So he craves and he wants it and he lets it warm him despite how selfish it is to keep seeing Usopp’s love everywhere when he knows it doesn’t exist and he never expected to exist in the first place and he doesn’t even WANT it to exist in the first place because he’s awful and he’s like the cockroach under his sole and he’s disgusting and he’s awful and he’s awful he’s awful and he’s awful he’s awful hes awfulhesawfulhesawfulHESAWFULHESAWFULHESAWFULHESAWFULHES

Because even if he - a terrible, terrible man - wasn’t supposed to be the one to love him. And even if he’s cursed with this chain to his heart. It’s impossible for him to see Usopp as anything but deserving of love. No matter how hard Sanji tried to hate him for making him love him like this. Because Usopp didn’t want to. Usopp didn’t want that. He never asked for it. He never would’ve asked for it. It’s Sanji’s fault for wanting it. For looking for it. For liking it. It’s Sanji’s fault for falling in love with him like this. When that love never belonged in his hands in the first place.

[sanusomaxxing]

My name is ASCII, and I go by he/they/xe.

This is my sideblog to dump my thoughts on my two favorite guys without feeling embarrassed about being wrong around my mutuals because I’m skittish like a prey animal, but GODDDD do I hate shutting up.

FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS AND SUBMISSIONS!! :)))

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