#awesome guy who hates himself for being alive

[sanusomaxxing]

I honestly am so obsessed with the idea of one-sided sanuso being unrequited by Sanji rather than Usopp. Sanji loves that guy so. So. Much. And there’s just something so. Uniquely devastating about it.

Like Yeah OF COURSE a love for the guy who’s insistent every second of every day of every hour that he’s STRAIGHTTTT STRAIGHT STRAIGHTTTTYTTTYY isn’t going to go well, Usopp is already doomed from the beginning in those scenarios!!!!

But Sanji?

Sanji? The guy who would see everything Usopp does with him as something special - hugging, looking for him, acting over-emotional, having FUN, wanting HIS protection - especially as someone whose protection has never been sought out before. As someone who was seen as weak. As a man who has a fragile sense of masculinity. As person who is comforted by his ability to protect and serve people. Who associates the act of doing so for someone with love. Romance.

He’s doomed.

He’s going to get swept away by it.

And he knows he’s doomed. He knows he’s wrong he knows he can’t think these things. He can’t feel these things he can’t WANT these things. He already hates that he does. He hates himself for it so goddamn much. He knows Usopp would hate him for it - No, he WANTS Usopp to hate him for it.

He wants Usopp to reel back if he hears this He wants to feel the bile rise up his throat as Usopp looks more and more sick He WANTS Usopp to run from him. He’s fucking disgusting.

It’s absolutely what he deserves.

But he hates it. He hates that’s the reality he’s fallen for he hates how that’s the punishment he’s been given he despises how he wants it because he loves Usopp so much more than the fate swings over his head like a gallows.

He doesn’t Usopp to ever have to throw up something he made for him.

So he craves and he wants it and he lets it warm him despite how selfish it is to keep seeing Usopp’s love everywhere when he knows it doesn’t exist and he never expected to exist in the first place and he doesn’t even WANT it to exist in the first place because he’s awful and he’s like the cockroach under his sole and he’s disgusting and he’s awful and he’s awful he’s awful and he’s awful he’s awful hes awfulhesawfulhesawfulHESAWFULHESAWFULHESAWFULHESAWFULHES

Because even if he - a terrible, terrible man - wasn’t supposed to be the one to love him. And even if he’s cursed with this chain to his heart. It’s impossible for him to see Usopp as anything but deserving of love. No matter how hard Sanji tried to hate him for making him love him like this. Because Usopp didn’t want to. Usopp didn’t want that. He never asked for it. He never would’ve asked for it. It’s Sanji’s fault for wanting it. For looking for it. For liking it. It’s Sanji’s fault for falling in love with him like this. When that love never belonged in his hands in the first place.

[bigwishes]

Forced Freak

Tyson was a uni drop out, nothing special about him other than his pretty face and dedication to his diet. He had no real hobbies and no real friends. The only reason people paid him any real attention was because of his body. However guys got pretty turned off after a one night stand with him when they'd wake up and Tyson would have written them critiques about how to improve their bodies and performance in the bedroom.

Tyson was the worst kind of gym bro, not because he had no real personality, but because he was an asshole with no real personality, in fact when he wasn't coming home from the gym, taking selfies in the mirror or scrolling on grinder for someone to bounce on his waist he spent a large portion of his time staring in the mirror admiring his own perfection.

"fuck yeah, I'm probably the hottest guy alive" he'd say as he rubbed his own crotch.

His arrogant attitude had essentially transformed him into a self obsessed autosexual, whilst he enjoyed sex and having a guy put in all the work whilst he laid back in pleasure he still preferred a night to himself and his mirror.

Tyson flexed his arm one last time, admiring the perfection before him before he turned off his alarm and got up to go to the gym.

"well, I'll see you when I get home handsome" he said winking at his own reflection and snapping his underwear band.

He threw on the folded red tank top and black gym shorts he had lying on his dresser, the ones he had steamed the night before. As he walked out the door he picked up his glass from his morning water and placed it neatly in the dishwasher before turning it on and leaving for the gym.

Upon arriving at the gym Tyson walked into the welcome area where he found 3 tall bodybuilders lined up at the key scanner. Tyson rolled his eyes and tried to avoid contact with them, he hated those freaks. The guys who willingly chose to inflate themselves with disgusting amounts of muscle. Who could barely fit in their cars and he huffed and sweat like bovine beasts when they got on the treadmill.

Tyson quickly got impatient and began tapping his foot as the 3 meatheads were holding up the line.

"are you beasts gonna scan in or am I just waiting here all day"

The three turned their heads to them almost in unison

"yoo you think we are beasts huhu" one flexed his enormous bicep that dwarfed Tyson's head

"hey Ty, what up lil dude. Wanna hit bench with us today? we we can help you grow that chest"

Tyson was disgusted at the thought of working out with the three of them and smelling their terrible stench or listening to them heaving for air.

"no thanks, its hard to improve upon perfection" Tyson said with a smirk

"aw come on dude, you can always improve and get bigger, you aint even close to your limit"

"and I dont want to be" Tyson said with a disgusted frown and one raised eyebrow

There was a loud ding and the three bodybuilders began waddling and shuffling their way through the electronic gate into the gym, having to turn sideways slightly to get their hulking frames in the turn gate.

"This is what I mean" laughed Tyson

"haha, can't blame us for being absolute units man"

"But doesn't it annoy the fuck out of you being like that?"

"no way bro, being this big is fucking awesome"

the three bodybuilders all began laughing and flexing

"I'm sorry I really dont see how turning myself into a...freak would be awesome"

There was a dead silence as the three bodybuilders stopped laughing and turned to him.

"that's a bit of a harsh word bro"

"yeah man don't diss the hobby coz you aint into it"

Tyson smirked flicking as he polished his fitness watch with the edge of his jumper "dude I dont think anyone is into it"

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean"

"umm being so big you have no style because you cant fit into anything, constantly covered in sweat marks, you reek after just a few minutes of exercise, you gulp down water like an elephant who hasn't drunk in a year, can barely fit in your cars and take up so much space, plus I like when guys find me attractive and aren't grossed out by my monstrous body" Tyson turned his back placing his gym bag in the locker completely unaware that the three men he had just insulted looked so red their heads could pop with anger.

"I'LL LET YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND LOOOOVVVEEESSS MY SIZE" the bodybuilder in the middle yelled through his teeth

"whoooaa jayce" the two others said in unison as they grabbed him by the chest and stopped him taking a step forward

"don't shoot the messenger buddy but Im pretty sure your husband wouldn't be disappointed if you lost 30-40lsb of muscle, pretty sure he'd enjoy date night without sitting across from a behemoth stuffing himself so full of protein like a slob"

Jayce threw his arms up in the air and pushed his two friends off of him turning around and walking away.

Tyson ignored the interaction implying pulling his towel and drink bottle out of his gym bag.

"You know what you need Ty..."

"and what's that Mark?" Tyson tiredly asked rolling his eyes

"A real good bulk, make ya real big, that'll change your mind" Mark smirked looking at his friend who was smiling back.

"whatever" Tyson groaned as he walked off into the gym.

---

A few hours had passed and Tyson was in the changing room admiring himself after his workout. It was enough to pump him to that perfect spot where he looked just slightly bigger and was a little sore, but not enough to make him sweat or stimulate the sort of growth a lot of gym guys were after.

Tyson flexed one bicep and ran his other hand down his thigh feeling himself get hard.

"Oh yeah handsome, just wait till I get you in my bed" He smirked at his own reflection.

Just then he heard the sound to the changing rooms open, his hand quickly shot up from his thigh, not wanting anyone to see his moment of lust.

He watched in the mirror as Jayce rounded the corner, his massive and wide shoulders causing him to bump into subway tiled wall. A massive smile lit up on Jayce's face as he saw Tyson standing there.

"Yep" Jayce yelled out

Dylan quickly followed behind and began walking towards Tyson, not that he thought much of it.

"Grab his left Dylan?"

"No worried Jayce"

Tyson was shocked as the two hulking bodybuilders suddenly grabbed hold of his arms and used what felt like all of their strength to sandwich him between them.

"h-HEY WHAT THE FUCK GET OFF" Tyson struggled and squirmed to get out of there grip but it felt like he was being pressed between two stone walls, he was unable to do anything other than pathetically kick his legs.

Just then Tyson heard the door to the changing rooms lock as Mark rounded the corner.

"Mark!, tell your fucking boys to let me go!"

The three bodybuilder's laughed as Mark walked closer holding a strange metal container in his hand that resembled a protein shaker.

"Hey lil dude" Said Mark with a big smirk across his face

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THREE WANT" Tyson snapped.

"to prove you wrong man" Jayce whispered

'w-what" Tyson continued to flounder and squirm to no avail

"you said being a bodybuilder sucked, well we are gonna prove you wrong" Dylan smirked tightly squeezing Tyson's arms

"h-how, Im not gonna start bodybuilding because you three threaten me"

"oh there is no threat bud, we have got something we want to try but dont know about the side effects wanna test it"

"ARE YOU GONNA JAB MY ASS FULL OF ROIDS" Tyson squeaked pathetically

"no dude, of course not" Said Mark

"we already know the side effects to roids" laughed Jayce

Mark grabbed onto Tyson's perfect hair and forcefully pulled his head back, Tyson couldn't see but he felt Jayce wrap his giant muscular arm around his pinning his between Jayce's bulky bicep and forearm and grabbing his cheeks forcing his jaw open.

"bottoms up pretty boy" Mark said as he flicked the cap off the contained with his thumb and shoved the mouth piece into Tyson's mouth.

"MMMMM -MMMM -MMMMMMM!!!!!!" Tyson tried to yell but his mouth was full of a strange thick liquid.

Mark dropped the contained and grabbed Tyson's nose still forcing the container to his lips

"gotta drink if you wanna breathe buddy"

Tyson couldn't hold it any longer

GULP...GULP...GULP.....GULP

Tyson sucked down what was in his mouth and what continued to pour from the container, when the last drop was drunk and all he could taste was air the three bodybuilders all let go in unison and Tyson dropped to the ground gasping for air.

"How long does it take to work Mark?"

"errr container says a few minutes for a start and a week for full effects"

Tyson couldn't concentrate on what the three were talking about, his body began to feel like it was being super heated, like his muscles and bones were being fried into pudy.

Tyson's hand began to tremble, as he looked at it pressed against the cold tiled floor he noticed his thumb enlarging, getting longer and thicker, it spread to all his fingers and his hand, at first he thought it was an allergic reaction but it wasn't puffy or fat, it was hard solid and defined, like all the muscles in his hands were suddenly expanding, he watched as his handed swelled up to the size of dinner plates as veins in his arms and forearms pumped in sync with his heart beat.

His forearms stared growing outwards and he felt his already tight and pumped biceps ache as they swelled even bigger. Seeing his reflection in the mirror he looked like a bad art project as different parts of his body were swelling with size and different times, his shoulders got wider as his calves got bigger, his pecs inflated as his feet grew out of his shoes, his abs bloated into a semi roid gut as his quads quickly filled with blood, and his ass pumped up into a big meaty globe as his traps crept up his back swallowing his necks.

after just a few minutes the three bodybuilders were stunned looking down at the sweaty bulky mess that was Tyson on the floor of the changing room.

Tyson had watched the whole thing in the mirror but still he couldn't recognise himself, what had happened, what they did to him.

He looked like one of them, a bodybuilder.

"w-what did you do to me" Tyson moaned, out of breath and out of energy

"damn, he got huge so quick, and he still has a week to go?"

"please, no, no bigger, turn me back"

the three bodybuilders began to have a conversation around Tyson like he wasn't even there as he tried to pick himself up off the floor. A few minutes passed and Tyson finally stood up. He felt uncomfortable, muscles he didn't even know where near each other rubbed up against each other like every aspect of his body was fighting for space.

Tyson looked at himself horrified in the mirror at the big bulky freak he had become.

"oh fuck..m..my perfect body" he turned to the three men behind him "please, please you gotta turn me back"

"you still got a week of growin left bud" Mark replied

"PLEASE I CAN'T GET BIGGER"

Jayce smirked trying to contain his laughter

"Look dude, we said we were gonna show you how being a bodybuilder is awesome, let it go for a week and we'll check back in and if you still hate it, we'll turn you back"

Tyson turned back to his reflection and flexed, freaked out by his bicep being larger than his own head.

"see, its already awesome, see you later dude"

The three bodybuilders started walking out of the changing room

"no WAIT!!"

Tyson ran over to his bag feeling the weight of his new body with every step and feeling his hard muscles bounce. He leant over and swung his bag over his shoulder. He watched as the door closed behind the three and he ran to catch up. Every step was a chore, it was like an entire workout for just one leg to hold up the weight of his new massive body.

By the time he reached the door Tyson doubled over gasping for air, he placed his giant meaty hand on the wall and slid down the the floor, he had only run a few feet but it felt like he had just done and three hours of cardio without a break, he felt the sweat running down his back and struggled to come up with a reason anyone would want to be this big, why guys would dedicate their lives to become titans.

it took 15 minutes, for Tyson to catch his breath and stand up again and by the time that happened the three he was after were already gone, he walked through the gym defeated hoping nobody would recognise him. He made it to the turn gate and as he went to go through he felt a hard pressing against his shoulders. Not at all used to his new size Tyson hadn't adjusted the angle that he approached the gate and found himself stuck between the two steel bars. Tyson pushed with his back leg but didn't realise the power behind his colossal quads as he easily pushed himself out but he couldn't stop the moment and he came tumbling forward face first onto the floor in front and multiple gym attendants.

"woah, you okay big guy" one of them asked,

Tyson looked up and saw the other two doing their best not to laugh.

"yeah I'm fine!" Tyson tried to get up as fast as he could but the sheer weight of his frame meant it was an awkward step by step process that took almost a whole minute.

Tyson quickly raced out the doors as fast as his could but once again misjudged his giant muscles and his two shoulders slammed into the automatic doors not realising they weren't wide enough for him. A loud bang rang out and Tyson looked back as the glass automatic doors wobbled and shook, and ounce more pressure and they would have surely crashed down around him.

Tyson waddled through the car park desperate to get to his car. Swinging open the door he quickly realised why he had never seen a bodybuilder in a sleek sports car, he didn't fit, just one leg stepped in and there wasn't any more room for him to squeeze in. He tried everything, moving the seat back, moving the wheel up, but still he didn't fit. After about 10 minutes of doing everything he could think of to get in he just decided to force his way in.

Sliding into the car he felt cramped, and when he closed the driver's door it bounced off his arm and swung back open denting the car next to him. Tyson tried again leaning all the way into his car and shutting the door. It shut but as he sat back up he found himself on an awkward angle to the wheel, he tried to adjust himself to roll down the window so he could stick his arm out and get more space but as he placed his arm down on the leather seat to push his own body out the way he heard a loud tearing. His clothes didn't feel loser and he couldn't see what had torn but it sounded bad...

When Tyson arrived home he squeezed himself out of his car, it felt like being freed from a sardine can but as he turned around to shut his door he had found the source of the tearing noise from earlier, in the centre of the seat, directly under where he was, was now a large split right down the leather, seats that cost over a thousand dollars to fix split apart like paper, and that wasn't the worst of it, he looked at the lower back of the seat to see how the leather had warped and swollen from the amount of sweat that had been pressed against it.

"AW MAN" Tyson moaned slammed his car door, not realising the force his arms were able to put behind it and as the door lodged into place his hand carried the momentum behind it straight into the metal of the car leaving a large dent from his palm.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME"

Tyson stormed over to his front door just wanting the day to end. He pulled up his keys to the front door and fumbled for a few minutes as he struggled to sort though them with his massive meaty fingers, finally he got in the door and shut it behind him as gently as he could which still resulted in a slam.

His stomach let out a loud groan, he had never felt so hungry so sudden in his life, Tyson tried to walk to the kitchen but realised it was more of a waddle has his massive muscular thighs slammed into each other. Arriving in front of his fridge he opened it up and grabbed one of his already made meals out and placed it in the microwave to heat up. He watched in spinning round and heard his stomach grumble as the 2 minutes felt like an entirety. Finally he heard the beep and opened up the microwave to devour his meal. What normally would have left him feeling full for hours didn't even make a dent in his hunger. Tyson opened up his fridge and moved on to his next meal without even heating it up, then another, then a protein shake to wash it down, then another meal and a couple apples, along with a banana or two, and of course he had to pull some of the muffins out of the freezer to defrost to have a bit later.

Tyson sat on his couch, feeling groggy and finally full. He looked around him, plates, protein shakers, wrappers and plastic containers were spread out all over his lounge room from the floor to the coffee table. He felt so heavy he didn't want to get up, he just wanted to pass out on his couch and go to sleep. As his eyes began to drift close...

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

The loudest belch he had ever heard forced him to jolt awake.

"aw fuc-uuuuUUURRPPP, this place is a mess"

Tyson finally realised he had trashed his lounge room in his feeding frenzy, he got up to try and clean but he didn't get very far. His body was so massive it was hard to move between his furniture and it was hard for him to constantly bend down to pick stuff up. On his second trip back from the kitchen to clean the last of the mess he finally noticed where he had been sitting, and the enormous sweat patch pressed into the fabric.

He pulled his tight tank top out from his body realising it looked like he had never washed it in his life.

"god, I need a fucking shower"

He made his way down the hall to the bathroom where he was shocked by his own reflection. He knew he had been turned into a hulking behemoth but, he looked like a completely different person now. His tank top was tight and clung to his body as his pecs hung out the sides. It was covered in sweat patches and strains from spilt protein shakes and food. His face was covered in a coat of sweat and his hair was oiler than he'd ever seen before. Tyson's gut churned as he let out another belch. He suddenly felt a tightness in his pants and he got hard.

"what the fuck..."

Tyson lifted up one arm to flex his bicep, he watched the sweat running down from his pits to his lats, he swallowed a quick gulp of air expecting maybe a small burp but was greeted with a massive room shaking belch. Tyson couldn't help it, he got rock solid staring at his sweaty body and hearing his own manly belching.

He worked his hand down awkwardly to his dick and started to pleasure himself.

He couldn't work it out, he missed his perfect body, he missed his old self, he was grossed out by being such a freak but god he was too horny to not please himself.

Right before his big moment he felt a wave of heat surge out into his body, his clothes felt tighter and suddenly the left strap of his tank top snapped as his shoulder, pec and arm practically doubled in size.

"AAH NO, NO NOT AGAIN"

Tyson watched as his dirty tank was torn to shreds by his growing body. His shorts felt tighter and tighter, soon he felt the sound of ripping fabric. As he turned to the side to inspect his growing legs he saw as his muscled ass split his pants in the back and the fabric quickly tore through making his shorts look like a bad loin clothe prop from a Halloween costume.

"OH FUCK NO, STOP, STOP AHHHH"

Tyson could only watch as his body continued to rapidly grow in the mirror...

--------------

3 weeks later

Tyson leant back on the workout bench groaning and gasping for air. It was the most he had ever lifted, not that he wanted to get bigger but it was the only thing he could do with his day at this point.

He heard the noise of 3 guys cheering as Mark, Jayce and Dyaln approached him.

"HEY BIG MAN" Said Mark

"oh great, what do you guys want"

"relax big guy, just wanted to bring you a snack" Dylan laughed as he pulled out a paper bag of drive through crispy chicken and handed it to Tyson.

"Dont forget to wash it down" said Jayce handing him a protein shake

Tyson didn't have the will power to hold back, his new muscle and size burnt so much fuel from simple existing he was practically starving constantly. He immediately reached into the bag and started eating as much as he could as fast as he could, washing it down with a swig of the protein shake, only taking breaks to gasp for air.

A river of chocolate protein ran down his cheek and dripped onto his XXXL tank top, which looked more like a medium crop top on him.

A young handsome gym attendant walked over to the group with a smile on his face.

"hey guys, just a reminder, you can't eat like that in here save it for outside okay" He smiled as he looked straight into Tyson's eyes.

Tyson's mind was racing, this guy was the most handsome guy he had ever seen in his life, we wanted to apologise for being such a slob, hell, he wanted to ask the guy on a date.

Tyson rubbed the crumbs and protein from his mouth away with the back of his hand and opened his mouth. Immediately he gritted his teeth and almost by instinct at this point cocked the side of his mouth open.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPP!!

Tyson couldn't help but belch and burp as he struggled to get a word out.

"bro..that's nasty" the gym attendant laughed as he walked away.

Mark, Jayce and Dylan all erupted with laughter.

"DUUUUUUDDEEEE" yelled Dylan

"You aren't gonna get a date like that dude I tell you that" laughed Jayce

"They probably wouldn't date him even if he didn't burp every couple of minutes, I mean who wants to date a bodybuilder freak right guys" Mark laughed as he rubbed Tyson's shoulders

"Yeah, you're right Mark, nobody wants a freak like Tyson" Dylan chuckled.

Tyson couldn't control it, the sound of their laughter, the way the three called him a freak and a slob. His dick got hard and he felt as a mixture of pre and cum leaked into his underwear.

They were never going to change him back, he was going to be stuck as this good for nothing muscle pig, forever....

he threw himself back down on the bench..

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP

[coolshadowtwins]

SVSSS fanfic that I will never write-

LBH post canon accidently goes back in time. How? I don’t know, it isn’t important. If I had to pick a stupid reason, then in PIDW had a storyline where LBH went back in time to a wife’s past to like… learn more about her? To help her in the trauma? IDK but what I do know is that Peerless Cucumber would have ranged for hours about Airplane adding in the concept of time travel and then doing nothing else’s with it.

And guess who the subject of the wife plot is now??? That’s right- SQQ. Except the wife plot took the body and not the soul, and now Binghe is back during SJ’s disciple days.

LBH somehow, as the main character, manages to convince the peak lords of the time that he’s of Qing Jing! He is, really! He really laid on the charm here.

Previous Sect leader: I don’t know if I believe you, but since you look like such a polite young man-

LBH gets escorted away to a room by the head disciple. And who is the head disciple of the sect leader peak??? It’s Yue Qi, sad and depressed and lifeless because LBH managed to find himself in the period of time where YQY thinks SJ is dead!

LBH: I want to meet my young Shizun. Shen Qingqiu- Shen Jiu I think now?

YQY: …. Xiao Jiu is dead?

LBH: Maybe in the future for like five years but not right now!! He’s my super awesome Shizun! …. Do you want to drop everything to go look for him?

YQY: Oh boy, do I!!!

So the two bounce from the sect with no warning, looking Shen Jiu. Luckily, now knowing that he is alive and didn’t die in the fire, it’s pretty easy to follow the line of gossip that follows WY and SJ. And of course, the entire time, LBH is praising his Shizun.

Now, he hasn’t said that he was married to his Shizun. He didn’t want to spoil that just yet! He’ll reveal that to his younger Shizun himself when they find him. But until then, he can still tell YQY how awesome his Shizun is, and how nice, and how close he was to SQH and LQG and even to YQY himself! (That last one was a bit of a fib, of course. SQQ was always a little uncomfortable around the sect leader. But YQY was eating all of this up, being so happy that his childhood friend was so happy and well liked, and well…. It was only a small fib)

They finally catches up with them, and quickly dealing with the other guy, YQY and SJ have a nice reunion, having both think the other was dead! And of course, it was incredibly clear that YQY had been looking for SJ this whole time, which does wonders for his abandonment issues. SJ may yell at YQY for leaving the sect so suddenly and risking everything just for him, but on the inside, he is bursting for joy, trust me.

LBH is not bursting for joy. Like, at all. He had been so excited to see his Shizun but young and now that he’s here…. Something inside of him and screaming that this wasn’t his Shizun.

He had no reason to believe that. This was very clearly SQQ at 14~. But of course, he’s the 200 IQ protagonist and figures it out quickly that his wonderful Shizun/husband took over his body when LBH was 14 and that this was his shitty Shizun that made his early years in the sect awful.

He’s fully ok with that. If his husband needs to possess another man to be with him, than who is LBH to judge? Only the best body for him! The problem is, of course, that he has spent the entire trip over ranting to YQY about how good of a teacher SQQ was to him, and now YQY is excitedly telling everything he said to SJ. LBH can’t just…. Back track now! That would be weird, and if they think that someone will possess SJ later, then what if his husband never shows up??

So he goes along with it. It isn’t hard- he doesn’t hate SJ, not like PIDW him would. He was only under him for three years~ and a lot of what happened to him was still being justified in his head. So it’s just… whatever, to him at that point. He confirms what YQY had been saying, spins a charismatic lie to the sect about why they left and how GREAT SJ will be as a disciple in the future, and then he leaves. Just, fades away in front of everyone.

And now this is SJ’s life. He thinks he’s a good Shizun in the future, even if he can’t stand kids. He think that he becomes friends with SQH and LQG, which is oddly hard to do?? LQG angrily wants to fight him every time he sees him, which is super annoying, and SJ is 88% sure that SQH is talking to demons but, you know. If another version of him managed to become their friend without future knowledge, then he has to do it now! He has a head start on the race here, no way is he losing it!

He does become friends with them, and is still incredibly close to YQY as they grow up. He’s still… him, but his major heart demons- the abandonment by his Qi-Ge and being unsafe even in the sect- aren’t there anymore. He even manages to be an ok Shizun to a young LBH, somehow. He’s pretty sure that he’s sucking at that, btw, because the little brat gets on his nerves when they are in the same room for more than five minutes, but he’s being mostly polite! He had to wonder what the other version of him did to get such a glowing review from the future version of his disciple, because it has to be more than this.

Ironically, because I think it’s funny, this is the timeline that our LBH finds himself back in. The time travel was always meant to be a stable one timeline kinda thing, so anything he changed in the past affected the future. I imagine in PIDW that LBG didn’t do much of anything but maybe comfort his future wife, for Airplane’s fear of making a confusing paradox for himself. But this Binghe? Oh no, he did so much!

Because he saved SJ some heart demons, and helped him make friends despite his trauma, he’s not as prone to Qi divinations! Which means that he didn’t have a fatal one when LBH was 14! Which means when LBH gets back to his time after all of that, he takes one look at his ‘Shizun’ and knows that this isn’t his husband. Which means that his husband never possessed SJ!

He’s horrified, and spends a whole day moping around the peak, trying to think of ways to fix this. He has just gotten himself worked up to go and do something drastic when NYY finds him.

NYY: There you are!! Shen-Shidi has been looking for you all day!

LBH: H-huh?

NYY: Why are you moping around, huh? Did you and Shen-Shidi have a fight? Don’t worry! He’s your husband, I know he’ll forgive you-!

LBH: WHAT.

And that’s how he learns that while he isn’t married to his Shizun in this timeline, he is married to his Shixiong, Shen Yuan! Shen Yuan, who got shoved in Willy nilly when the system realized that SJ wasn’t going to die when he was supposed to.

There’s probably some sequel where LBH has to fake that he has memories of what happened in this timeline, which I imagine is somewhat close to Svsss? The system was still running around, even if a major player has changed. And LBH would just be so bad at faking it in front of two people and two people only- SJ and SY.

SY: Binghe, don’t you remember our first date? :)

LBH: …It wasn’t the water prison!

SY: ….that statement is correct but also the wrong answer.

And

SJ: Beast, you’re not coming to this Immortal Convenance. Don’t you remember meber what happened last time?

LBH: …. You didn’t push me into the endless abyss?

SJ:… That statement is wrong and I was also going for the HHP tag alongs you obtained.

[king-candybug-backup]

Kill Switch: Part Eight

He had cut her off with a harsh stomp to the ground, the loud crack of the multicoloured road echoing all around them, his tails lashing back and forth as his full height loomed over Vanellope. She couldn’t be sure if it was an attempt at intimidation, but she certainly wouldn’t put it past him. “I’m sorry, since when are you an expert on who I am?” He snarled back, that bug-like warble sneaking its way back into his voice, “You weren’t even alive back then. You don’t know anything.” “Then make it make sense for me! You mean to tell me that you, Turbo, didn’t consider the obvious consequences that doin’ somethin’ that extreme might have? I don’t buy that! I know you ain’t that stupid!” Despite taking notice of that intensifying snarl lurking in the Cy-bug’s chest, Vanellope didn’t let it stop her. “You had to have known how dangerous that was! Why the heck would somebody so crazy full-of-himself ever do something like that? Throwin’ your life away like that?! You coulda died!” “I may as well have!” He regretted snapping back the second those words left his mouth. The second he saw how Vanellope’s expression had changed from a face of disturbed confusion to something else entirely. Something far more shocked, yet with hints of a look he knew all too well on her. That look of pity that he oh, so hated.

Read the full chapter on AO3!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Finally getting into #TheRoadblastersIncident.... The Roadblasters backstory in the movie was honestly one of my biggest pieces of inspiration for Kill Switch as a whole. I won't ramble on about it here, as I explain my view of it in more depth at the end chapter notes, but I hope y'all can still enjoy this chapter for what it is, even if my interpretation of events may not line up with how others might see it. Either way, have some pain and suffering, I guess! Lol (Also I decided to split the Ralph scenes into another chapter because this one was getting long as usual shgdfvjbj, BUT ON THE UP SIDE THAT MEANS NEXT CHAPTER WILL ALSO PROBABLY BE DONE PRETTY SOON DUE TO NOT BEING AS LONG LOL)

ALSO MORE FAN-ART SHOUT-OUTS AAAAAA!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, YOU GUYS HAVE FIRED UP MY INSPIRATION LIKE CRAZYYYYY AND TBH HAVE MADE ME WRITE SO MUCH FASTER THESE PAST FEW WEEKS LMAO, I AM IN THE ZONE, MY DUDES 😂

Here is GREAT art of the "Calhoun lowkey squaring up w/ Candybug" scene by the lovely @sweet-treat, as well as Vanny and KCB's Uno scene!

And on the topic of cards, we also have an ADORABLE art of those two with the "Go Fish" part, lol! Courtesy of the wonderful @thegalwhoasked! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH BOTH OF THEIR CARD GAMES IN ART FORM LMAOOO, THANK YOU <333

And of course, we have this absolutely AWESOME art of Candybug and Sinistar, as well as the scene of Candybug intimidating Calhoun's soldiers, by the spectacular @caleeeeee! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL IMAGES, I LOVE YOU GUYS 😭😭😭

Also gotta credit this beautiful post by @gretelandcat for a lot of inspiration in how the beginning of the Starway scene went!

[blackenedsnow]

Haaaiii can I ask you to write headcanons about Postal Dudes dating chubby Reader??🥺👉👈

totally not a self projection I swear...

postal dudes with a chubby s/o; headcanons

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Postal (1) Dude x Reader, Postal (2) Dude x Reader, Postal (3) Dude x Reader, Postal (4) Dude x Reader, Postal (BD) Dude x Reader, Postal (Movie) Dude x Reader

NOTE: Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoyed these headcanons. My bsf wanted to help with this one as she is chubby as well! (she wrote most of these)

P1 DUDE

You won’t hear many compliments from him, but he’s definitely protective.

P1 is quiet, constantly sizing up the world with distrust, and you can bet he’s sizing up anyone who even looks at you sideways.

He doesn’t care about physical appearance; someone’s body type is the least of his concerns.

What matters is that you’re still here with him.

You catch him staring at you sometimes.

It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, but there’s a strange softness in his eyes when he does.

If you’re ever insecure about your body, his reaction is blunt and to the point:

“You’re here. You’re alive. You're perfect. That’s all that matters.”

It’s not a sugar-coated answer, but it’s honest.

He doesn’t express affection with words, but in actions.

If someone says something about your size, they’re probably not going to make it through the day.

P2 DUDE

P2 is pretty laid-back about most things, including your body type.

He’s seen everything from people exploding to Gary Coleman running wild, so a chubby partner?

No big deal.

In fact, he kind of likes it.

He’s not the type to make a huge deal out of compliments, but he’ll throw in a casual,

“You’re looking good today,” or “Damn, you’re hot.”

He’s genuine guys

He’ll crack jokes about anything, including your size, but it’s always playful and never mean-spirited.

If anyone else tries it, though? Yeah, they’re getting a shovel to the face.

He’s also not opposed to being the one who makes sure you feel good about yourself.

If you’re ever feeling down, he’ll throw some crude humor into the mix to cheer you up:

“Don’t listen to anyone else. They’re all idiots anyway. You’re sexy as hell.”

P3 DUDE

P3 is kind of a mess

But even in all his dysfunction, he appreciates that you’re there with him, and your body type is just another thing he enjoys about you.

He’s more of a wreck than the other versions, so he tends to be clingier.

Loves when you hold him, your softness making him feel like things are going to be okay.

He’s a lot more verbal about liking your body, but it’s mixed in with his awkward, over-the-top compliments:

“You’re perfect! And I don’t care what those assholes say! They can… choke on it!”

If anyone insults you, his reaction is unpredictable.

He might try to defend you and end up hurting himself in the process, or he might have a sudden outburst of violence, completely losing it.

Either way, he hates anyone making you feel bad.

P4 DUDE

P4 is laid-back and full of even stupider humor.

He doesn’t really care what you look like as long as you’re with him.

He’ll definitely make jokes about your size, but it’s all in good fun.

He’s not super vocal about his emotions, but when you’re alone, he’ll say something like,

“You know I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else, right?”

He just wants you to know he loves you.

No matter what.

He doesn’t mind that you’re chubby—in fact, he likes it.

He’s been through too much to care about societal standards.

If you ever feel insecure, he’ll just shrug.

“Eh, screw ‘em. You’re awesome the way you are. Now, let’s blow something up.”

BD DUDE

Chaotic energy through and through, but surprisingly sweet in his own insane way.

He’s all over the place, but your body type is something he finds absolutely fantastic.

“More to love!”

He’d say, grinning like a maniac.

Super protective of you, especially if someone makes a comment about your size.

He’ll go from laughing and cracking jokes to a full-on rampage if anyone makes you feel bad.

Loves cuddling up with you after a long day of bullshit.

It’s the only time he’ll calm down, nestling into you and just enjoying the warmth and comfort.

He’s definitely the type to enjoy your softness after all the stupid bullshit he goes through everyday.

MOVIE DUDE

Movie Dude is a bit of a regular guy caught up in ridiculous, over-the-top situations.

He’s not violent for the sake of it, more like an average guy who’s just trying to get through the day in a world that’s gone crazy.

Why would he care about you being chubby?

He’s definitely laid-back when it comes to your body type.

To him, it’s not a big deal at all—he’s more concerned about surviving tomorrow.

You’ll catch him giving you silly compliments like,

“Hey, you’re my favorite person to have around when the world’s on fire. Plus, you’re cute.”

It’s playful, never mean-spirited, and always said with a grin.

He’s big on humor as a way to deal with life’s madness, so he’ll throw in light-hearted jokes about your size, but they’re always sweet.

“You know, if we ever have to run from the apocalypse, I’m hitching a ride on your back.”

If anyone makes a snide comment about your weight, Movie Dude’s reaction is more like an eye-roll and sarcastic retort.

“Oh, cool, another jerk with a mouth. Got anything new, or are you stuck in 7th grade?”

[theharmonious13]

Trial of the Double Feature

Omg I love the Blurple background to honour Tsuno and Kamimura

So unreal to see the 'death portraits', Tsuno's stab trap holes and Kamimura's blood coming out of his mouth and subtle blood along the neck because of his sweater 😩

Poor Watari and Ken are inbetween two podiums of the deceased 😩

~~~

Based on the layout... if we are to assume every survivor will end up between two deceased podiums that leaves Watari, Ken, Mai, Hama, Wada, Hiroaki and Okazaki alive

Meaning Yanagi, Ojima and Tamba are getting killed off next

Probably won't happen but I LOVE theorising based off of visual elements

(Note: After learning Okazaki dies this theory is debunked immediately but I like to have fun okay? 😭😂)

~~~

Danganronpa rules for who escapes, makes sense

Omg Tamba accusing Wada, so naive but you're ded to me anyway Tamba 😩

Hanano getting coy... *yes*

I love how Mai, Yanagi, Ojima and Hiroaki agreed straight away that Wada was telling the truth and that stabbing Okazaki was deserved

Watari popping off with the voice acting and raw emotion, being on Wada's side, calling him her friend 🥺

Ken telling Tamba not to talk about Kamimura that way... thank you for showing respect

Ken saying Kamimura wasn't weak 🥺

Hama telling Wada to breathe/they just have to clear his name, he can understand what he's going through and it's a very sweet moment

Ken jabbing at Tamba (I'm using the 'exactly what it sounds like' in regards to the 3D printer' as an example) is what I live for now

Wada yelling at Tamba is deserved

Man I'm really hating how accusatory Tamba is even though this literally happens every trial

Hama guarding Wada going to the bathroom omg he's so sweet guys I love their dynamic

Why does Hiroaki even care about the above lol

Okazaki accusing Ken of murdering Kamimura and everyone else dog piling him... knew this was coming but I hate this so much anyway

DON'T INTERRUPT KEN WHEN HE DOESN'T GET A CHANCE TO BUD IN, LIKE EVERY TRUAL

I give Okazaki the middle finger while she spurts out this stupid theory

'Stop talking like you know me! Or him, for that matter! You don't know shit about either of us!' YES KEN (and voice actor) POP OFF (especially at Okazaki lmao)

Okazaki claiming to be Ken's therapist is 💀 especially after she said she was his guide councillor which is very different...?

Body discovery announcement came in clutch LET'S GO - Wada and Ken didn't kill their besties

'The infernal energy coming out of that room was disrupting my arm's structural integrity' Hama 😂

ANXIETY ATTACK? Ken nooooo

OKAZAKI WE HAVE SELF PRESERVATION HERE PLEASE, ALOT OF THE CAST THINK BADLY OF THEMSELVES

Hiroaki being blunt about the self harm isn't exactly tactful but needed for the trial

Hama says he was bopped on the head, Okazaki replying with 'he wasn't bopped' 😂

Hama saying Okazaki being in the chemlab was a violation and her agreeing 😂

Tetro is teaching me new words like flunitrazepam (also why was Okazaki keeping an eye on it, sus)

I'm with Watari, THEY HAD CYANIDE?

I've been wondering if the killer took Kamimura's tongue as a trophy too, can we just body check the entire cast right now please? Lmao

'Finally! It was poison!' Good for you Tamba but why did it have to be so ironic that it was on Kamimura's case that he couldn't shut you down 😭

Hiroaki just admitting he was going to kill himself and replying with 'why are you looking at me like that's 😭

Means Tamba was wrong about the poison though hehe, thanks Hiroaki

Yeah Tamba had a blonde moment, I'm on Okazaki's side for this one being annoyed at her

Poor Tamba is cooked, at this rate she's definitely not surviving unless Von wanted to do the stereotypical mainline Danganronpa games survivor cast archetypes trope 😭

'How did they get into Kamimura's room?' guys we LITERALLY just mentioned the 3D printed room key 😭

Omg I'm one of the biggest Hayashigeki shippers out there BUT THIS ARGUMENT IS AWESOME! I AM THRIVING! Well written for both characters and there's been chapters worth of tension stock piled out until now that they need to work through together hehe

Why are we assuming Kamimura knew about the second key? Anyways

KEN AND KAMIMURA (wholesomely and shippingly) SLEPT TOGETHER 🥺

'Do we have a pickpocket in here?' Stares intensely at Okazaki

Wada freaking out about not solving Tsuno's case, thanks guys for solving it anyway 😭♥️

If Kamimura somehow built the trap without Ken noticing that would be messed up (I've thought about Tsuno killing Kamimura because of the fandom but not vice versa)

I really want to know if Tsuno was the intended target or not, if she wasn't it'll be even more sad

I love everyone telling Tamba to shut up, especially Mai 😭

Tamba really needs to stop gunning for Ken or Imma get mad 💀

Man all of the resentment/arguments are coming out of this trial

Yanagi you don't want the reputation of throwing off trials but we're doing it a third time, that establishes a pattern 😭

'If you don't tell me where you were last night you've lost all my trust' Mai omg that sentence went HARD

Omg Yanagi was trying to get into the locked room, please don't tell me he's going to get executed for admitting it 😭

WATARI AND HAMA ARE BECOMING FRIENDS, I actually jumped for joy when I heard Hama say he was watching Watari practice fire dancing in her room

That's very vivid description from the Hall Overlord, I do have to wonder if she just so happened to peek out at all the right times and then continue to prep for the murder

Here we go, Tamba where you at 😭😂

I proceed to be so engrossed in the trial that I have no comments, I am fully obsessed

I don't want to think Tsuno is implicated, but if there isn't a second key (which there obviously isn't) then logically it makes alot of sense for her to be involved with the pre existing alibis 😩

Gets engrossed in the trial again

Okazaki has a coat THAT'S HOW IT DIDN'T GET SEEN

WE ARE ONTO YOU OKAZAKI

We have less than 20 minutes yet PLEASEEEE ISTG THIS BE THE LAST SUSSED PERSON

'Okazaki was patrolling' Nah bitch more like moving around freely without anyone suspecting you ✨

'Can you open your coat then?' OJIMA YES

Blood in the coat

SHE'S GETTING PANICKY AND BACKED INTO A CORNER, OMG MY PRAYERS MAY BE ANSWERED

OKAZAKI IS SNAPPING!? WHAT IS KONKONKONKON

FACE REVEAL WHATTTTTTT

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! AND HAS A PAW EARRING!? OMG THE WHOLE SUIT IS BLOODY OMG

SHE'S A COMIC BOOK VILLAIN? THE EDITING OF HER NEW SPRITE/CG MOVING OMG

SHE'S MOCKING THEM FOR BEING SLOW TO SOLVE IT!? I'm actually amused at this oml

THE MUSIC IS SO DERPY, I FEEL LIKE I'M IN UNDERTALE RN HELP

'A band of dimwits this easy to kill!' Omg why am I loving Okazaki at her killer reveal

WATARI IS SO UPSET AND RIGHTFULLY SO

The way she said Oni boy got me crushing a little bit 😳

Okazaki giving vital hints because she wanted to create an extremely interesting murder case makes a TON of sense

Gdi I was fairly confident it was Okazaki but I should have been ride or die on it lol

If she somehow ISN'T THE KILLER and reveals a truth bomb right now my jaw will drop to the floor

She's talking like Gundham Tanaka and I'm loving it

THE PHANTOM THEIF OF NAGOYA!? WAS SHE TSUNO'S GREATEST ENEMY OUTSIDE OF THE KILLING GAME TOO BECAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY THE ULTIMATE SUPERHERO? THEY'RE LITERALLY BOTH FROM THE SAME AREA

OMG I WAS RIGHT

I had headcanoned she was a crime doer outside of the killing game because of the gun ownership BUT OMG IT WAS SO OBVIOUS ALL ALONG WHY DID I NOT SEE IT

WADA IS GOING TO STAB HER AGAIN, AND KEN CAN JOIN TOO

KAMIMURA MUST HAVE SEEN HER DOING SOMETHING SUS AND HAD TO BE KILLED BECAUSE WITNESS TESTIMONY

I love Okazaki's monologue so much you don't understand

She's kinda crushing on Tsuno desperately wanting attention? Must be a small town crime doer who WANTS to Tsuno to be her rival because it's not her talent

THAT LAUGH VOICE ACTING WAS AWESOME OMG

She called Hiroaki a Dunk Ass 😭😂

WADA POP TF OFF!

Tsuno cared about Kamimura and that drew her attention... Tsuno died for love? DELUSIONAL SHIP COMING ON?

Harada inspired her by saying 'life is short' and 'Kamimura is short too!' Okazaki omg you cannot be serious 😭😂

I NEED SOMEONE TO TRANSCRIBE OKAZAKI'S MURDER CASE RECAP BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

'When the temperature started dropping and it was clear that someone had to die I thought hey, now is my chance to end a long and tumultuous character arc!' WOAHHHHHH 😂

Okazaki calling Kamimura a Sad Sack 😩

OKAZAKI SPRITE IN THE TRIAL ROOM

THEY CUT HER SUMMARY SHORT, JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED 😂😂😂

Or almost lol, loved the intermission anyway

She admitted Hasegawa is smarter than everyone which is a... compliment in a weird and twisted way?

Okazaki calling Wada a sad little loser 😭

KEN BEAT UP OKAZAKI LETS FUCKING GO

WADA WAS GONNA GO TOO AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

Omg Okazaki said Watari could have been the perfect sidekick one day

Watari said she will NEVER be like her and she HATES her this is the angst I needed omg I LOVE IT

POOR WADA, KEN AND WATARI THOUGH THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Okazaki's about to get the most mid execution like Celeste because she's so outlandish

Okazaki wanted to give each individual student a goodbye? How strange and unexpected

'Nishi, in our next life, we'll be foxes okay?' 😭😭😭

'In every life after, I will follow that flame too' At least Okazaki genuinely liked Watari 😭

Midas Touch

Dr Haruka is absolutely disgusted by Okazaki's actions 😂

Torturing is quite the dubbed down word for what Okazaki did lol

Is Okazaki's name Yume? Does Dr Haruka know Okazaki?

Dr Kan was disappointed Tsuno didn't kill and Dr Haruka saying Tsuno didn't seem to be the type to crack shows how strong she was 💪

This was the most unique execution I've ever seen, I love it alot

Cheap motive? Wonder what it is

Kan put on the music at the trial? LOL

264 - Regulation Review

No don't modify the body discovery it comes in clutch THEY'LL GET THROWN OFF AND BE HEAVILY MISLEAD 😭

Monomoko was smart with turning off the cold tbh

Monomoko has got ALOT of dark splotches now oml

OKAZAKI WAS DR HARUKA'S KID? AND SHE WAS JUST UPSET WITH HOW SHE DID REGARDING THE KILLING GAME INSTEAD OF LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HER *CHILD!?*

Okazaki's name is Yume... or is that a dead name maybe? Disapproving parent my god...

She's trying to get Dr Kan's child in the killing game, probs because she hates Dr Kan lol 😭

265 - Tactical Retreat

Takeshi too overwhelmed, how relatable...

He finally spaced out again 😩

266 - Apology Tour

Wonder how this cat fight will go

She's done with Yanagi? NOOOOOOOO

Mai is going on her vigilante and angsty arc

Tamba's apology is making me almost cry ngl

Mai called her Rui 🥺

267 - Grieving Process

Wada's so drained, my poor boi

Hiroaki talking to Tsuno in front of Wada will be good for both of them I think, hopefully they can bond more because of this

Wada says I love you to Tsuno again 🥺😭

HE MADE WADA NEW CLOTHES? OMG

SOFT CLOTHES FOR WADA, HIROAKI IS SO THOUGHTFUL

HUG!? YESSSSSSSS

HE WOULD ALSO GIVE WADA A HAIRCUT? WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE? NEW SPRITE? OMG MAKEOVER? OMG I NEED TO SEE IT NOW

[veryace-ficrecs]

Supernatural Outsider POV Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

God Killer by h0lm3stuck - Rated G

“There’s no way,” Austell says. “That’s——he looks like someone’s dad.” Someone’s criminally hot dad, but still. He’s not splattered with blood with a haunted look in his eyes, not itching for a fight, not toting a bloodthirsty angel along on a leash. Jeanie has to be wrong, there’s no other way around it. “No fucking way is that Sam Winchester,” Austell mutters. “That’s Dean,” Jeanie unhelpfully corrects. “Why do you look so scared?” She laughs. “He doesn’t bite.”

Attached to His Hip by sabarah23 - Rated G

The first time Jeremy saw the green-eyed boy, he had an infant attached to his hip. - or 5 times Dean was a dad in spirit only, and 1 time it was in name, too.

Story Time by Ltleflrt - Rated G

I like to imagine that someday when Dean and Sam and Castiel have finally saved the world, and are able to settle down, that Dean and Cas will get married and settle in a little town and Dean will make friends with all the neighborhood kids. He’ll keep an eye on them, and keep them out of trouble. And he’ll tell them stories….

Devil's in the House by glorious_spoon - Rated G

In which Sam hustles pool to pay for his textbooks, and an unexpected opponent turns up. Pre-series, outside POV.

Superheroes by aeli_kindara - Rated T

"I fuckin' hate group projects." Dylan gives Dean a wary glance. He gets it — he’s not the biggest fan of these things himself. But when you’re a group of two, “I fuckin’ hate group projects” is awful close to “I fuckin’ hate working with you.” In which a teenage Dean Winchester makes a friend and leaves something behind, and Sammy doesn't know when to shut up.

Crossovers

Criminal Minds

Monsters in Your Closet by AlbusCorvus - Rated G

When Castiel goes on a hunt alone and is caught by a particular FBI team, the brothers do something they never thought they’d have to. They kidnap SSA Spencer Reid to make an exchange. But being kidnapped by delusional serial killers is nothing like Spencer thought it would be.

Monsters are Real by WhiskyBoys - Rated T

'Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.' Stephen King. The kid sitting in the interview room swings on the rear legs of his chair, throws back his head, and at the top of his lungs, sings a painfully off-key version of 'Wanted Dead or Alive'. Hotch looks at Morgan with one eye-brow arched in question. "You think he's your unsub?"

No Difference by The_Bookkeeper - Rated T

Derek has been in a lot of bad situations. This one easily makes the top five. Or would, if Dean and Sam Winchester were actually acting like the sadistic psychopaths he expected them to be. Instead, Dean is referencing Star Trek, Sam is comforting Reid, and Derek has never been more confused.

Buzzfeed Unsolved

The Bizarre Winchester Murder Spree by Origamidragons - Rated T

“This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we are discussing two of the most prolific and strangest serial killers in recent history: Sam and Dean Winchester.”

Percy Jackson

We Hitch an Awesome Ride by ariadnes_string - Rated G

Percy and his friends get a lift from some guys who might know as much about monsters as they do.

There's Nothing Weirder Than Teenagers by Calculatrice - Rated G

The kid is blinking startled, sea-green eyes at him, and Sam distractedly thinks that he looks a bit like a lost baby seal. "Who are you?" He asks, as if Sam's identity takes priority over the fact that his friend just threw his body into a lake. ___________________ In which a goth kid attempts to drown his friend, and Sam is suitably concerned.

Empousai and Demigods by Eternally_Sidequesting - Rated T

A hunt gone sideways gives Sam and Dean an idea of just how much they don't know about the supernatural.

Indiana Jones

Remnants by oneiriad - Rated G

It's not always easy to find the thing that's keeping a ghost around - bullwhips doesn't exactly make it any easier.

[blushweddinggowns]

Despite the fact that he had been spending the past three years intermediately dealing with the supernatural, Lucas had to admit, his life was going pretty damn good. Like okay. Yes, he almost certainly had a case of PTSD going on from all the demons and monsters he’d been forced to encounter, and the murders he’d unfortunately witnessed. 

But like, besides that, his first year of highschool was kind of awesome? He made it on the basketball team, varsity, despite being a freshman. Something that hadn’t happened since Steve was in school. And yeah, maybe he was a benchwarmer in a way Steve hadn’t been, but whatever. He was still on the team! 

Max freaking Mayfield was somehow still his girlfriend, a miracle in and of itself considering all of the insane shit she’d gone through. He was, for literally the first time in his life actually within the popular crowd, or at least popularish, all while not having to give up any of the silly, nerdy things that used to make him a target in the first place. And okay, maybe he wasn’t expressly advertising the full extent of his obsession with Hellfire with his teammates, but whatever. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. Besides, his best friends would always come first, even if they were all really annoying about his new interest in sports. 

Everyone except Steve, who was the only one outside of his dad who was actually proud of him for pursuing something new. And that wasn’t even mentioning how the guy had taken the time to practice with him every weekend for months in preparation for try-outs. And he knew so freaking much. That was one perk of having a head basketball coach that had been around for twenty years, the alumni were definitely able to teach you all their plays. Lucas could nearly read the head coach’s mind by the time the official season rolled around, all thanks to Steve. 

Steve who, in Lucas��� humble opinion, did not get enough credit for being their coolest friend. Yeah Eddie was great, more than great, he was awesome but… Lucas couldn’t help but think that it was Eddie who was lucky to have Steve, not the other way around. He loved both of them to death, but it was Steve who got his ass handed to him by Billy Hargrove to keep Lucas safe and who fought demodogs with nothing but a bat. All in the same day. It was Steve who helped to keep his dumbass sister alive when she thought it was a good idea to get involved with the Upside Down shit, and who hit a possessed racist with a stolen car right before he almost killed them all. 

Lucas thought he was badass, even if he kind of acted like a lame, overprotective dad half the time. Steve had earned the paranoia when it came to their safety, especially since he was one of the only reasons he and all of his friends were even alive. 

He was just… cool. And probably none of his friends would agree with him on this, but he was kind of… suave? With the hair and the cool car and the no-fucks-given attitude. And yeah, maybe working at a video store in a silly little vest while living in his boyfriend’s lap didn’t exactly match the image, but whatever. Steve would always be cool to him, even if the rest of the world couldn’t see it. 

He would be the coolest person he knew if he wasn’t aware of a literal superhero and his own super, awesome girlfriend. But he was a solid third place. Max, El, then Steve. And maybe it was a little insane to put Max above the girl with superpowers, but hey, she’d earned it. And he was horribly biased, but sue him. Not many people could roll with the punches in the way that girl could. Or be that funny while going through such a few hellish years. 

Lucas was just happy that she lived near Eddie and Steve, especially since her mom’s embarrassing mental breakdown. He kind of hated the woman for making Max’s life more difficult than it already was, but he kept that one to himself. It wouldn’t help anything but God, did he wish that she could get it the fuck together for once in her damn life. 

Even with her shitty mom, Max was never alone, not if Lucas could help it. Though things had been pretty rough for a second there. She had dumped him pretty soon after Billy had passed away, not that he minded. Lucas was willing to go through their stupid cycle of breaking up and getting back together for the rest of his life if it meant being with her. But that last time had felt too… real for his liking. Not because of anything he did, but just from the fact she couldn’t handle having a boyfriend, her mother’s marriage falling apart, and the guilt from her step brother dying all in one go. 

Though eventually she did reach back out and they at least got to stay friends. A friendship that didn’t last long. He had really tried not to let his feelings get in the way of being there for her, but the love he had was too obvious to be ignored forever. He was just lucky as fuck that she still felt the same way. And Lucas hadn’t been messing around when it came to his second chance. His dorky side had definitely come in handy for his overnight transformation into the best boyfriend ever. He forced Eddie and his own mom to give him some cooking lessons. Because if Max’s shitty parent couldn’t provide what she needed, then fuck it. Lucas would. And the smile she would give him every time he’d bring her a homemade lunch or dinner was so worth Erica making fun of him for being whipped. He was even taking notes on all of the successful relationships he knew, going as far as interviewing his own parents and Steve and Eddie like the little weirdo he was. But all tips were necessary for him not to mess this up. 

And it did help. He got her to open up, slowly but surely. He got the chance to actually be there for her, and that’s all he really wanted. And it had been so freaking worth it. She was smiling again, laughing and being herself despite the crappy circumstances surrounding her life. And outside of Steve and his dad, she was the only one who actually gave a shit about his basketball games. She was always at every one of them with no complaints, despite the fact that he knew it wasn’t her thing. She would even get mad at the others for not taking it seriously on his behalf, and she had forced Dustin and Mike to start going through intimidation alone.

She was always able to say the quiet part loud, a talent that was definitely a godsend for his current situation. 

Lucas had a lot of patience. It was something he prided himself on, something that took years to cultivate. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t pissed that his friends weren’t even considering rescheduling Hellfire to go to the championship game, even if he was having a hard time specifically saying it. 

Max did not have that same problem. 

“You’re telling me you can’t stand up to Eddie Munson of all people?” Max asked, hands on her hip in a certified Steve stance as she stared his best friends down, “Are you freaking kidding me right now?”

Lucas didn’t know why having your girlfriend fight your battles for you was considered emasculating. From his point of view it was pretty awesome, especially with how scared Dustin and Mike were looking. 

“He can be intimidating when he wants to be!” Dustin tried, cringing at the way Max glared at him. 

“The guy who cried at Splash is intimidating to you?” She asked, incredulous, “That guy? Fucking really?”

They both shrugged, but at least they had the grace to look a little guilty now. But Max still wasn’t having it, “You know what? I don’t even know why I’m asking you guys. Move.”

She barreled past them, not even looking back to see if she was being followed. She was; all three of them were too invested to see where she was going with this. She went straight to a pay phone, dialing the number while mumbling rude comments under her breath.

She was so freaking cool. Had Lucas mentioned that he loved her? 

She perked up when the call was answered, sighing into the phone, “Steve? I need a favor.”

from the latest chapter of this fic

[ritzcuit]

i want.. a fic.. where datz.. and amara talk....sooooooo bad. i know i should write it myself but writing is hard and i cant even decide what theyd talk abt. i just want it. i want them to talk abt Everything.

to me.. their relationship......... entirely unfounded by canon, but i believe it's such a complicated one. and i love to think about it. ofc, my angles are "datz is a gay man who had no romantic feelings for amara, very much had romantic feelings for dhurke, and is not exactly fond of Any sort of royalty at all"

i think her, dhurke, and datz, were all pretty good friends pre-revolution. i think dhurke invited datz to meet amara and datz was like oh boy this woman whos got dhurke all in a tizzy it'd be cool to seeAMARA SIGATAR KHURA'IN???? .....REAL???????but she's like, Cool, and has a sense of humor, and they all get along well. datz is like woah i didn't know someone of the royal family could be this cool. and smart and funny and normal :) and amara's like, it's nice that my boyfriend's freak isn't treating me differently because of my family, it's nice to feel like my age :) yay. he's invited to their wedding it rules.

and then like. um. it all goes wrong. So i rly do think datz was mourning amara too. not nearly as deeply as dhurke, of course, but he was like nooo she was so cool fuckkkkNDSKLNSFG but it goes wrong in several ways, bc now datz is helping raise her kid (!) and now he's living with dhurke (!!) and getting closer (!!!) and oh no

so, requited or not, confessed or not, forever, his love for dhurke is always going to be with an asterisk that says *dhurke is a married man, albeit a widow, and i am A Monster for loving him romantically

and then Um Well amara is Alive. on the surface, datz is celebrating, because this is awesome, until dhurke hits him with the "actually she still thinks i tried to murder her, but i'm gonna get her to trust me--" and datz is already sore because, with apollo gone, things are already dismal, and wtf do you mean she still thinks youre guilty?! whereas datz never doubted dhurke's innocence, so he's offended on dhurke's behalf and hurt because this little niche he's built in dhurke's life is getting shaken up again and3$%^#$^$

BUT THE THING IS, DATZ IS A NICE GUY. AND LIKE. HE LIKES AMARA. or wants to like her, really fucking badly, bc dhurke is so happy that amara is here, right!! so datz wants to be happy for them! amara is not stupid. she's cautious about all of this, and can tell that datz isn't as warm to her as he used to be. she learns all that dhurke has to share and what the two of them have been doing for the past like-eightish-years... she's merciful. amara is a Nice Girl. and she trusts them, but i think datz never really. gets over this.

i think rayfa being born is such a nail in the coffin that datz never gets over that either. esp after sending apollo away... soj implies datz doesnt know abt rayfa but idgaf he knows. i cannot decide as to if datz is good at hiding his displeasure. i think, for the most part, he is, because he tries SO FUCKING HARD to be happy when he's supposed to be happy... but at the same time, i think datz argues about sending apollo away, i think he argues about trying to win amara over, and i think he's very very clearly biting his tongue when he finds out about rayfa.

bc. he's not. like. he has no authority. and he hates scolding, and he hates pretending like he has authority... he hates hates hatessss being against all of this. more than anything, he just wishes he was a better friend who could be happy about all of this, but he's nursing a broken heart that he refuses to admit...

they lose rayfa and amara again... i think datz could take this insanely hard. i think datz can have a streak of blaming himself for things beyond his control, like every ace attorney character (he takes tahrust's death hard, and somewhat implies that he blames himself,) so i think he'll feel like if he wasn't bitter towards amara, he could have protected her. talking about this means he'd have to admit his bitterness, and explaining where it comes from, and admitting his love for dhurke, so he'll never do this...

by the time he and amara can meet again, post-canon, it's just. there's like. there's too fucking much. there's SO MUCH. datz's avoidance is in high gear now that he could, possibly, go visit amara.... i think it's obvious to anyone that he's avoiding that for any number of reasons. like nope. he simply Will Not. and amara knows it, because she's not stupid, and everyone who ever knew she and dhurke has given their condolences and datz barely steps foot in the palace- even to talk to nahyuta- but like,

he raised nahyuta up until he became a prosecutor, right? she's been talking to him and getting to know him, but who does she have to fondly reminisce with now that dhurke is gone? and who will treat her like a person and not some reverent figure? maybe she's lonely, right? maybe she misses an old friend.

and datz could ignore her invitation to a small private lunch, and more than anything, he wants to, which is why he goes. it's confronting that grief and broken hearted bitterness and remnants of anger and frustration from over a decade ago, and all that sadness, and guilt, and shame that he couldn't Be Better... or maybe, above all else, he just doesn't want to look at a widow (for real, this time) and tell her that he's been selfishly in love with her husband for as long as she's been gone.

which, for the record, amara would be like. i know. 😭LMFAO SHE'S LIKE DATZ DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?

IDK. THERE'S SOOOOO MUCH. but i don't want the fic to just be datz yelling at a traumatized woman, no matter where you set it in the timeline, so it's likeelngfdlnfg Cause i don't think he even COULD yell at her, again, bc behind it all he knows amara was a victim as well.. i don't want the fic to just be amara doing emotional labor trying to coax something out of datz...

i dont know. im crazy. the two of them have a history that no one else would be around for, they're the only peers the two of them have, so it's crazy. bitterness and discomfort and everything. i cant... Exploads

[sharpth1ng]

what would squilliam and shoehorn think of the stab movies?

So in-universe they're considered kind of bad and trashy when they come out, and from what we see they play in to a lot of the cheesy slasher tropes that scream subverts (ex. turning Casey's death into a shower scene for no reason). Later on in the franchise we find out they've developed a cult following, and from what we see of them on screen they're very campy. There's lots of movies IRL that follow this pattern going from bomb to cult classic: Dead Alive, The Thing, Slither, Phantom of the Paradise, ect, ect.

We also know that at least the first 3 Stab movies are directed by Robert Rodriguez who is a real (and kind of awesome) director known for stuff like From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids, Machete, Sin City, and Planet Terror. I genuinely like a lot of his work but its pretty over the top, over campy, silly, fun so I think that gives us a sense of how those first three Stab movies feel.

We also know that Stab 8 was directed by Rian Johnson, director of Knives Out, Glass Onion, and the TV show Poker Face- all stuff that can have a bit of a lighter tone, not devoid of camp, but generally movies that take themselves a little more seriously. To illustrate the difference between these guys I could imagine Rian Johnson actually directing a modern Scream movie, but I can't really see Robert Rodriguez doing the same. This is far from an insult to Robert Rodriguez by the way, I just think his style is better suited to other stuff. So I think probably the later Stab movies feel a bit more like the Scream movies, while the earlier ones exist in a different media space.

To recap, based on what we see in the Scream movies, Stab is a bit cheesy and trashy, pretty campy, but they do ultimately develop an audience later on. So far, this sounds like something Stu would be into tbh, I think he likes the silly stuff as much as the really fucked up stuff, and the fact that its based on his own story would be hilarious to him. Like he would find it so fucking funny that they inserted a random shower scene in for Casey, and he would find his own portrayal by Vince Vaughn to be hilarious.

Billy is another story. I do think that Billy can enjoy a sillier slasher, especially if it has other stuff going for it (eg. gore, creative kills ect, insane body horror), but he can't buy in to the same amount of ridiculousness as Stu can. Beyond that there's the fact that the Stab movies are a bastardization of his story, like Billy already considers the massacre his movie, so the Stab movies are a bad remake to him. I think especially the idea that his killings aren't being taken seriously would aggravate him.

And then there's the fact that he's played by Luke Wilson. And like. Listen. I don't have anything against Luke Wilson, I know very little about him but I know Billy Wouldn't be happy about this:

Honestly I don't know who they could have cast as Billy that wouldn't have pissed him off. I think that as much as he would want the notoriety of his story being adapted into a movie, he would functionally enjoy being portrayed by someone else.

In the context of my writing, where he and Stu survive this is especially true because the Stab movies in Debaserverse will have Billy and Stu as final boys. Realistically this means they'll be shoved into tropey archetypes, a number of which Billy would hate for himself.

Stab is absolutely going to come into play in WoM by the way! I won't go into much detail about that right now but let it be known. There will be Stab.

[dwritesit]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Pairing: Mike Wheeler and Will Byers

Rating: M for Mature

Tags: BYLER SPIDERMAN AU BABEY, romance, SLOW BURN BABEY, mutual pining, el is also a superhero, mike wheeler Realizing things about himself, lots and lots of lies and Friends Don't Lie

Summary: Will Byers had a love-hate relationship with being The Spiderman. On one hand, he was free from everything that ever made him feel stuck and the world thought he was totally awesome, but on the other hand he was stuck with lame excuses and telling lies to the people he loved the most. It only gets worse when he accidentally makes friends with Mike Wheeler as Spiderman, who has no idea about the truth under the mask. Even worse again when, in doing so, he gets Mike caught up in a whole lot of unnecessarily dangerous situations... and Mike might actually be falling for him, the Superhero, and not Will.

Man, he hated lying.

Read it HERE! on Ao3

Sneak Peak:

...

Will Byers loved the sound of wind rushing past his ears and whipping at his covered skin. It was thrilling. Fast. It felt nostalgic, like late night bike rides on the way home from a friend's house, like racing down a hill with laughter ringing in his chest. It felt like freedom and peace. Like he could finally breathe outside his childhood bedroom, outside of the societal rules of the town he grew up in.

While swinging on webs off rooftops and powerlines, or soaring from skyscrapers, or stopping real bad guys like a real superhero, no one could get to him. No one could tell him what he could or couldn't be, what colleges he should go to in the fall. Who he could love or want.

It was just Will and the roar of the wind. 

So yeah, being The Spiderman was awesome, freeing. It was probably the best feeling in the world, he'd never felt more alive. And although being trapped in a freaky lab for a week, and all of his friends and family thinking he had been dead kinda sucked, but he wouldn't give it up for anything. 

...

[weirdmageddon]

gimme your case for liking arquiussprite, genuinely curious

he’s just such a weirdo maniac that it’s funny, like i have no words when it comes to that dude he really is a character that just leaves you stunned. i would hate being around him irl but hes so bizarre that i cant help but i appreciate him as a character for that

also side note, i fuckin love how voxus brought his manic energy to life with their voice acting

i think it comes down to the fact that his outlook isn’t miserable, he loves being alive and that alone makes a character more tolerable to me. he doesn’t give a fuck about how he comes off aside from his language, which compared to literally everything else about him seems like such a trivial issue. but that in of itself adds a lot of character. and the way he mixes formal and casual words to create this odd dialect that just tickles my brain. like you cant deny he IS entertaining.

he actually has good judgment and speaks only facts

ARQUIUSPRITE: 100k at me. I needed to merge a sweaty guy who loves horses in order to be happy

ARQUIUSPRITE: Gosh d***** horses Dirk

ARQUIUSPRITE: I think about them all the time while I fle% and it makes me smile

^ this is so awesome. good for him

the equius part of him really still cares about nepeta and its like…aw. also “sir/peon” fucking LOL

dont see this talked about much, if at all but, he gets real important shit done for the session by himself which is pretty cool. the genesis frog needs the grist hoard to grow. everyone say thank you arquiusprite. also the fact that sprites can control the game directly without server/client is pretty damn cool? i dont remember seeing that before this

oh and also this is legendary

basically this post yeah. certified awesome Phreak

[ieatfanficforbrunch]

Reignited Flame-Steddie

TW: Violence, brief mention of Homophobia, swearing

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie fell hard, he knew that. He watched as the man he loved went after the girls at his school, getting whoever he pleased. Eddie knew, deep down, that these girls were just flings. Steve Harrington had girlfriends, but they were never serious, never permanent. He thought that maybe he still had a chance.

Steve had just gotten out of a relationship, immediately he was shrugging it off, laughing happily with his friends.

Eddie knew he was being naïve but how could he care when he was so damn excited? He wore his uncle’s old leather jacket for confidence, put on his jeans with the least holes, and even straightened his shoulder-length curls, all in the hope of Steve, King Steve, finally taking an interest.

He asked his uncle for help, all the questions he could think of. “What’d you like most when someone approached you?” “Did you ever get uncomfortable by things they did?” “What did you avoid?” “What should I be prepared for?"

Wayne truly loved the kid but sometimes he just needed to calm down. He explained that Eddie didn’t need advice, because if this guy was worth it, he could be himself.

With this advice, Eddie practiced guitar to cool off and left for school.

His uncle’s jacket made him feel invincible. He was prepared to finally, finally, talk to Steve.

He walked through the doors, putting on his best smile, optimistic and prepared for anything, except when he rounded that corner where he knew Steve would be, he froze.

There leaning against the wall was Steve with Nancy Wheeler on his arm.

He could feel his body go ridged, his heart breaking in his chest because this time Steve was looking at her like she was the only person in the entire world.

Eddie left school.

Sure, his dad was an asshole, and his mom was dead, but he thought that there was still good in the world. He thought that he had a chance at happiness.

The year passed in a blur, pot and booze his only comfort. He kept the jacket, eventually getting an awesome denim vest. He grew his hair, embraced his curls, and finally gave up on hiding his interests.

Steve and Nancy broke up and for a second, he thought that maybe, maybe, that little hope of love was flickering alive, he quickly decided to stomp out that flame.

Eddie almost felt bad for the fallen king of Hawkins High, after the new king (some dude named Billy) came into the role. Steve seemed lost, lonely even, but Eddie was not going to let “King Steve” hurt him again.

Billy had a thing against freaks, everyone knew he didn’t like different. Eddie basically had a target on his back.

The hit came unexpectedly, A mix between metal and flesh. A man and a locker. He puts his hands up to guard his face as best as he can but it’s really no use. The slurs hit his face and hands dig through his pockets.

He felt disgusting, refusing to cry, but he felt his breaking point approaching quickly as Billy brought his fist up.

Eddie shut his eyes, prepared to accept his fate, but suddenly the weight of the man was off him and he was being pulled away.

He opened his eyes to see Steve, his Steve, dragging him out of the building as fast as he could.

Steve practically threw him into the passenger seat of his BMW as he ran to the other side.

Eddie was in shock as they sped away.

“You ok? He didn’t hit you, did he?” Steve asks.

Eddie shakes his head.

“No, No I’m ok. Thanks for…for saving my ass back there,” he replies.

Steve nods.

“Well, if there’s one thing, I hate more than anything, it’s Billy. He’s…He is a prick so just stay away from him, alright?” Steve says.

“Alright, yeah. Thanks again.” Eddie says quickly.

They rode in silence for a while, Steve taking the long way back to the school just in case.

“You run the D&D group, Hellfire? It’s Eddie, right?” Steve asks.

Eddie smiles and nods, “That’s me!”

Steve smiles, “I got this middle schooler who’s a friend of mine, if you happen to still be there next year you should talk to him, the kid loves that stuff!”

Eddie chuckles, “I might just take you up on that Mr. King.”

Steve shakes his head, “Don’t call me that, I’m not that guy anymore.”

Eddie nods.

They drive for hours; Eddie can feel that familiar flame of an old crush burning in his chest. He’s surprised that Steve hadn’t dropped him off sooner, but as Eddie drives himself home in his rickety old van, his cheeks heat up at the thought of Steve Harrington.

[oh-three]

Skeleton Crew S1E7:

It's kind of funny watching the parents stand around something in the woods. Kinda makes them look like their children, in a sense.

Oh fuck.

Gotta appreciate their dedication though.

Damn, their plan actually worked. But also, they're gonna be in some legal trouble for that.

Aw, I love how even Fern's comforting Wim when she was the one originally most frustrated my his mistake.

Honestly shocked someone turned SM-33 back on lol.

Not me just realizing how big Brutus's ship is

Lmaoo, their overall code name is Ravager. Serious GOTG vibes lol.

RIP random pilot

The horror of recognizing the Onyx whatever-it's-called as it comes out of space, combined with the music, right after watching some guy get obliterated……

And let's not forget Silvo's reaction. He definitely regrets leaving them to their own devices now.

And he's fucking setting them up to get boarded by pirates lmfao.

Jod, buddy, I love you and I know you wanna make sure they're alive and well, but also they're kind of traumatized. Even if you're maybe right.

tractor beam

Just…Silvo and Brutus's whole interaction as they entered the hangar lol.

LMFAO.

Oh, he's gonna shoot him. Chat, Jod wants him done for.

Yep.

RIP Brutus.

Well, we know for sure that this is At Attin. Thank god.

Lmao, the first thing Silvo does after winning the crew over is grab his old gear and suit up.

The parents' message to the kids 😭

I'd give anything to see the look on Silvo's face right now.

SM-33 has amazing timing.

LMAO.

THAT PUNCH WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

I love SM-33. I knew he'd choose the kids if forced to make a choice. He cares for them. I wonder if they'll be allowed to keep him on At Attin.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. The Onyx Cinder was actually originally from At Attin. That's neat. So, it was stolen, ended up back when it crashed lol.

Holy heck, the Barrier makes At Attin seem so much larger than it really is.

Fern not even being mad about being in trouble.

Oh, hi, Jod.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I FORGOT HE HAD A LIGHTSABER NOW 😭

"You're the worst one!" Damn.

Okay, I know he's pissed, but he wouldn't actually chop them up, would he?

Oh, he's threatening their parents. That's debatably worse.

He's unhinged.

Someone stop him.

"We are always available for- Standby." walks away 🤣

That field just opened up into a landing pad. Huh.

You know how crazy it would be if Wim suddenly used the Force and pulled Silvo's lightsaber away? Like, imagine, this kid who's talked so passionately about Jedi, having the Force himself. That would be really cool.

Landing pad? More like huge-ass elevator.

He looks like he's about to cry lol.

JOD, DON'T YOU DARE.

….why. I simultaneously love and hate cliffhangers.

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins, names and character work

I figured out what I want everybody's superhero name to be and wrote out their explanations for why they chose their names to try to figure out how I want to write them going forward.

Steph (Spoiler, then Clue): I named myself Spoiler because I was going out to Spoil all my dad’s plans! And now I’ve named myself Clue, because after my father’s death I want the chance to turn his name into something good. Plus I’ve changed my goals for why I’m doing this whole vigilante thing. Instead of being someone who ‘spoils’ the plans of villains, I want to help people and show them the true way the world can be. It’s not enough to just stop the bad guys anymore, I want to protect people who can’t protect themselves or just need a push in the right direction.

Tim (Spoiler, then Paradox): After I was brought back, everything about me felt wrong. I was Tim, yet I had another ‘self’ crudely shoved in me…literally. I was supposed to be dead, yet I was alive. I was supposed to be a ‘good guy’, yet all I could feel was an onslaught of awful emotions (not to mention that I broke Bruce’s rule, I’m a murderer now). I was supposed to be Jack’s kid, yet whenever I pictured ‘dad’ two people who weren’t him came to mind. I was Bruce’s son and Steph’s boyfriend and Cass’s friend, yet they left me with him for so long…and I suppose I betrayed them back. I had friends who could literally hear my goddamn heartbeat and protect me from bullets and race to me from across the world, yet when I screamed until my voice was raw begging for them to help or free me from that hell or to kill me and get it over with they never showed up. *Sigh* So yeah, I was basically a walking contradiction. But Pierrot and I needed to agree. And he thought ‘contra’ was both too basic and that nobody would get it. So we compromised and now we’re Paradox. 

Pierrot (He’s just Pierrot): Ok, so I got to name MYSELF! Which is AWESOME but also a lot of pressure. I mean, I started existing 2 weeks ago and now Ra’s was asking me for a name?! Like, I just spawned, can I have a bit longer before I have to make a lifelong commitment? But he was an efficient man and wanted to initiate Tim and I into the League and he couldn’t do that if I didn’t have a name. I had 3 hours. So, I went to Talia. She had just had a kid and she named him, maybe she could name me! She wouldn’t do that, but she did give me a baby book. It was useless and I hated all of those names. I was down to the last hour when Tim suggested that I just take his middle name, which is JACKSON! And I thought, “Like I’m gonna name myself after his dad!” But then it got me thinking…what if I name myself after my dad?! The Joker TECHNICALLY wasn’t my dad, but he did make the chip and the chip made me! So I had it! I would name myself ‘Jack’ and trick Tim into thinking I did it based on his advice! The perfect plan. 

….Then once we left the league I decided that I hate my dad and also his name. So I changed my name to Pierrot. It fits into my whole ‘tragic clown’ bit and I like how it has the name first letter and amount of syllables that our ‘vigilante’ name has. Plus it makes me sound sophisticated!

…….Ok fine I also like Hatsune Miku and she had a song about a puppet clown named Pierrot and I went ‘hey I like this song! yoink’. Plus there’s also another Vocaloid song about a kid named Pierrot who kills people at the behest of their parental figure and like…hello?? That’s literally our whole thing. I thought that it would be a fun if I could use that as a reason to code Vocaloid sound-banks into the mask so I could sound like Miku whenever I felt like it. Tim is still vetoing that idea. But I think the idea of getting chased by Batsy and singing ’The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku’ while he overanalyzes the lyrics of what we’re singing and guilts himself even more would be SUPER FUNNY. It’d probably mess him up for WEEKS! I mean, we have the voice modulator and it can speed our voice up, why not use it for something besides sending coded messages to Bart! 

Dick (Spoiler, then Twist): I really don’t think that Bruce wanted any more kids. It’d been a few years since Tim died and everybody could tell that Bruce Wayne was a mess afterwards. The only times he really went out were for official appearances and to go places with Cass. He hadn’t made any new friends or even kept up with his old ones, everybody thought that any chance he had at moving on was caput. So when he adopted me after my parents died, I think even he was surprised. And I just kept surprising people, first by finding out about Batman and then by becoming Spoiler and then by being really good at it! So I guess my name kinda reflects that. It’s a way to remember my parents too. Some of my best memories of them were of us flying in the sky and having fun, twisting up and around in the air. 

Damian (Spoiler, then Hoax): When I first arrived, everybody figured that I was some ploy my grandfather had dragged my mother into. In reality she was trying to get me away from the mess that was the league, but they were all paranoid enough to run plenty of tests. To the surprise of everyone except me, and Paradox perhaps, I was as real as they come. But this did not mean they trusted me. In their defense, I probably would not have trusted me either. Mother had hidden a lot from Father, for good reasons but these were still betrayals, and everybody was already on edge after Timothy’s return. The mantle of Spoiler was withheld from me until I stole the costume and went out on my own. But everybody could tell I wasn’t quite like the other Spoilers, I was too good for a kid just starting out and far more brutal than any Spoiler ought to be. Thus, I was dubbed the ‘fake Spoiler’ until Father finally let me join him officially. My name spawned from these memories and the emotions that came along with them. And after Dr. Thompkins helped me with my ‘death’, it only became more relevant.  

Jason (He’s Spoiler! So what does the name Spoiler mean to him?): Steph picked a really funny name in retrospect. I mean, the phrase ‘No Spoilers’ took on a whole new meaning in Crime Alley after she started showing up! I’d be asking people not to tell me the endings of books and they’d think I was doing some funny business that I didn’t want the capes showing up to. We got more used to Spoiler over time and most of us kids actually started liking her. It was probably because she seemed…like us. She was a normal person, not some looming rich jerk like Batman. She could relate to us when we talked about our parents and gave us advice that came from experience, not a guy repeating the same canned advice we could find on the internet. Our feelings about the Spoilers changed depending on who had the mantle, but we always trusted Spoiler to help us out without also ruining our lives. They were kids and they understood us. So…I guess to me Spoiler is someone who understands people when Batman can’t. They’re a symbol that we can all make a difference in somebody’s life, we don’t have to be some meta-human or really rich to do what we can to help each other. …I really hope that I can live up to that.

[smittywing]

Ficbit 8: Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Previous parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Possibly Bernard is not just cannon fodder.

~

Jason laid low for the next few weeks. There was a world-ending event that he noped out on and he entirely skipped one of the Riddler’s rampages by volunteering to substitute for Dick on an off-planet Titans mission. Dick and Tim got a lot more fun out of the Riddler than Jason ever did.

But eventually, Tim called for help and Jason was the closest. 

Insectoid, three of them,and Robin was backed onto a roof by two while the other one poked holes in the asphalt below.

“Were these people?” Jason asked, landing on the rooftop and firing some rubber bullets in a gap between the carapace. One of the insectoids shrieked.

“Nope,” Robin replied. “Feel free to use the real things, but I need you ground level, this was some kind of restaurant experiment gone wrong and there are people down there.”

“Sure you’re okay up here?” Jason checked.

“Bernard’s down there,” Tim said, and oh. Of course.

“On it,” Jason said crisply and fired off a rappelling grapple. He swung easily to the ground and shot the knee out of the rampaging ant-thing on the ground. Well. One of the joints in one of the legs. Close enough. He didn’t actually have regular bullets on him because Gotham crime tended to be human-on-human or sometimes sentient-meta-on-human. But he certainly didn’t feel bad about using the rubber bullets at close range.

“On your six!” Great, citizen participation.

“Get down!” Jason roared and then spun on his heel to - 

See Bernard Dowd, formerly known as Cannon Fodder, connect a solid roundhouse punch into the side of the insectoid’s leg joints.

What the actual shit.

“You just,” he gasped out with no idea how he was going to finish the sentence.

“I’ve been practicing!” Bernard called, his sneaker connecting with another appendage.  “Keeps me in shape!”

“Great.  Don’t die,” Jasons called back because Timmers would fucking *kill* him.

~

No wonder Replacement was so over the moon for this guy. Bernard was actually useful. Yeah, he wasn't going up against Shiva or taking the World’s Most Awesome Axe to any parademons, but Bernard was sufficiently competent to keep himself and some bystanders alive while Jason cleared the deck. 

“Nice job,” he said reluctantly when the identified threats were down or in retreat. “You should get to safety though.”

“Nah,” Bernard said *right to Jason’s fucking face. “My boyfriend, Tim Drake, will be back in a minute. Nothing's going to happen to me when he's around.”

“Uh.” Jason was speechless. Quipless. Wordless, even. “Okay?” 

Was Bernard legit telling Jason that he knew Tim was Robin? 

No. 

Yes?

Jason tilted his head. 

Bernard blinked. He looked calm and confident. 

No. 

“Bernard!”

And sure enough, there was Tim Drake, jogging up to them. 

“Okay,” Jason said to Bernard. “I’m out of here. Scream like a girl if you need me.” Tim gave him the hairy eyeball and Jason, who hated Bruce's disappearing bullshit, went with his grapple gun for the quickest possible exit. 

~

“Hey, your internalized homophobia is showing,” Tim greeted Jason about three hours later. 

“Huh?” Jason asked eloquently. Replacement was in his territory this time and his only reason for being there seemed to be policing Jason. 

“Scream like a girl?” Tim prompted. 

“No.” Jason stared at him. “You know I said that long before you came out. You do not get a buy for being gay.”

“Bi,” Tim corrected, smirking. Jason let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. “I get a buy for being bi.”

“Also,” he said, and smacked Tim upside the back of his head. 

“Hey! What was that for!”

“You let me call your boyfriend Cannon Fodder for *months* and you knew he could fight!”

Tim grinned, and again Jason wondered at how talking about Bernard lit up his face. 

“Yeah,” he said, sounding like a complete and total sap. “I mean, he doesn't have our training but he….” Tim fucking *blushed.* 

“Oh my god, stop,” Jason said, because vicarious embarrassment was apparently a thing that affected him for the first time ever. “I’m just saying, he’s not complete Cannon Fodder.”  

“He's been kidnapped four times,” Tim said matter-of-factly. “I’ve started calling him that in my head. Don't tell anyone.”

“Anyone?” Jason asked after a beat, because Blondie would *love* this. 

“Don't even think about it,” Tim warned. “You know Steph would sell me out in a heartbeat.”

“How did you know I was talking about Blondie?” Jason demanded.

“Who else were you going to tell?” Tim asked. “Bruce, Tim let me call his boyfriend Cannon Fodder even though he can probably beat up the Riddler.”

“Did he beat up the Riddler?” Jason asked, because the Riddler *had* been rampaging last week and at this point, he’d believe it.

“No,” Tim said and then blushed. “A couple of his goons, yeah. He solved some of the riddles, too, which was fun.”

“Huh. Didn’t realize he knew the Secret. Does he know who I am?”

“What? No, he doesn’t know I’m Robin,” Tim said. “Riddler did the thing like in Keystone City a few years back and just airdropped a bunch of riddles on Midtown. So I picked some up and we figured them out, but he just thought we were doing it for fun.”

“Are you sure?” Jason asked, thinking of their most recent interaction. “Because I think he knows.”

“Wow,” Tim said with a sigh. “My life would be so much easier if he did.”

~

Turns out Bernard knew exactly who Tim played dress-up as at night. He spilled the beans by rounding up Batman and Robin, Nightwing and Batgirl, Spoiler and Orphan, and half the marina to save Tim and Kate from the weird cult they’d infiltrated.

Jason wasn’t invited.

It was fine.

~

It wasn’t actually fine. Tim’s pupils had officially gone heart-shaped and being around him made Jason want to throw up a little bit in his mouth. He and Bernard did a lot of canoodling on the boat and Tim didn’t seek out Jason to discuss investigations or be extra muscle on his cases.

Jason missed Tim.

It wasn’t exactly something he was going to advertise so he kept to himself and patrolled his area of Gotham without venturing into anyone else’s territory.

Some people didn’t have the same compunction.

“You’re not coming to Tim’s birthday party?” Batman demanded. Because of course Bruce got dressed up in his scariest costume to come harass Jason about his social calendar. “I thought you were working to integrate more closely with the family.” 

*I thought you were trying.*

“Maybe that was a mistake,” Jason said roughly. “Maybe I fucked up, old man.” He stared out over at the city, a collage of lights and shadows, beautiful and deadly, and superceding everything else, *home*.

“Hrm. Oracle. Is this roof blacked out?”

Jason didn’t hear the answer but a second later, Bruce pushed the cowl back. Jason turned his head automatically, like he was compelled to make sure it really was Bruce under there.

“Tim’s disappointed we haven’t heard from you. He assumes you’re not coming.”

“Good detective work on his part.” Jason approved. “Because I’m not.”

“When I was your age,” Bruce said, and then winced. “This is making me feel old.”

Jason tossed him a look that was meant to mean, *get on with your point or get off my roof* but may have included some, *there’s some self-awareness for you.*

“Anyway. I had a crush on someone I shouldn’t have,” Bruce confessed. “Someone married, actually. He wanted to stay in the closet. And he did. I never told him how I felt. And I lost him.”

Bruce put his hand on Jason’s shoulder and Jason felt like his insides were caving in.

“I have a lot of regrets,” he said. “Don’t be me.”

“So you’re saying I should just barge in and break up Tim and Bernard,” Jason asked, letting go of all his secrets. After all, who was he, trying to hide something from Batman?

“No,” Bruce said. “But I’m on your side, Jaylad.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Bruce said, pulling his cowl back up. “I don’t want that kid to be cannon fodder but he’s really intent on putting himself in the middle of everything.”

“You’re never on my side,” Jason accused.

“How are you always so sure which side I’m on?” Batman asked, and stepped onto the brick wall lining the roof. He shot a grapple and paused before jumping. “Don’t let this be the thing that defeats you.”

And he was gone.

~