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Only in my dreams :,)

me thinking about someone holding me close to their chest/in their arms:

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did you know red snapper can live for over 100 years…. whatre they DOING down there

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Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

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Summer rain

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ok u know what. golden hour is great and all, but u know what time of day is super underappreciated??? BLUE hour

that time of day right after the sun sets or right before it rises…. *chef kiss* love that

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I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

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sometimes i wonder about reincarnation, and whether or not the soul has seen familiarities between all the different consciousness of my self. has she, of the past, the same loneliness? the same laugh? does she sing for the ones she love? ah, i hope so. i hope the soul was happy with her, because i want the soul to know happiness, too.

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patrick.

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“i wish i lived in the country side!”

no u dont. You dont want to have to drive an hour just to get some McDonalds. There is nothing to do here and everyone is racist. My neighbour’s chickens got stolen last week

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Touchy girls are the best. Like yes play with my hair, give me arm tickles, and hold my hand whenever you want. There are very few things more great than skin on skin contact with the person you love.

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“Tips For The Classy Hoe Invest in Prada sunglasses, A nice brown purse, Luis Vuitton if you can afford it Quality lingerie, A good sunhat, Expensive jewelry (pearl and diamond earrings are a must) And a wide selection of fancy shoes Regularly get your hair and nails done, Style your hair simply and classically every day and keep your nails long and manicured Stick with nudes and light pinks for every day wear, red for more formal events Invest in voice, piano, and ballet lessons Learn French Read all the literature and poetry you can, keep up on politics and current events Be opinionated and informed, but never stubborn Talk smoothly and gently, but never apologetically Go out for brunch Take walks in the park with or without your lover on Sundays Set aside time at least once a week to go to an art gallery, museum, or theatre Drink fine wine and be knowledgeable of it Life is what you make it.”

— (via happyhealthyhoetips)

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Me and my mom were talking abt merkins? Which is literally a 15th century pube wig? And we were looking thru Pinterest at how to make them for shits and giggles and this miserable man comes up

Open it pls

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