sapphic-mauve

[sapphic-mauve]

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That keeps so many warm - And sings a song of wishful dreams - And seems to - never - stop -

And - beaten - it keeps chirping - And joyous through the storm - That in the end will crush the bird - That can’t survive it all -

It’s quiet in the deepest caves - And lonely - underground - I wonder if someday down here - I’ll hear again that sound.

[sapphic-mauve]

surprisingly when you downplay your feelings and barely talk about them to other people, and those rare times you do you minimise your already downplayed feelings, people will believe you're better off than you actually are! they won't even imagine you're barely hanging on! who knew!

[sapphic-mauve]

I've often been told I'm too sensitive, but no matter how my nerves are made, if when you touch me I'm screaming in pain it means you're hurting me. there might be something wrong with me, but you shouldn't hit me knowing i have a broken arm. and if you do, that's on you. also, since you never know, you probably shouldn't go around punching people.

[sapphic-mauve]

the guilt of seeing all the atrocities happening all over the world. while I'm here crying overe fuck knows what.

[sapphic-mauve]

I hate how the most common exclamation i can think of to express anything adjacent to this strong despair is "god" oh yes, I'm already spiraling, religious guilt is exactly what i needed!

[sapphic-mauve]

do i want to die? i don't know. i don't think so? maybe at times. at times if it happened i wouldn't be opposed. ugh it's sad.

[sapphic-mauve]

the whole "the first thing babies learn to do is cry", but there's nobody to hear you cry. even if they hear you, nobody comes to help. what then? what happens to the crying baby? it's sad, but pretty obvious. it dies.

[sapphic-mauve]

i wanted to say "it's hard" to communicate the struggle i face everyday just to live but uhm... it's hard... like... like the uhm... you know... you know what's also hard... it's the uhm... the uhm...

[sapphic-mauve]

sometimes it's really tough

[sapphic-mauve]

how long has it been already?

[sapphic-mauve]

i am feeling unfathomable amounts of rage. i tried searching on the internet for what i could eat, cause some days it's hard but i don't want to go to bed without eating. and basically everything that popped up was some variation of how or why i should skip meals. I'm gonna kill somebody.

[sapphic-mauve]

i really suck at keeping up with friends. i don't know if one of my closest friends still has a girlfriend. what do you mean it's been three weeks since we last texted?? i truly love them but i can't help but feel that I'd bother them. some days just the idea of seeking someone out to talk seems exhausting.

[sapphic-mauve]

sometimes I wish I were born normal. I wish I were born straight and comfortable in my gender, i wish i were born not fucked up in the head, i wish i were born less angry about injustices and more capable to passively live and function in this world without wanting to burn it all down.

[sapphic-mauve]

sometimes people will bring up the most nonsensical take and pretend you argue with them. no thanks. I won't choose between agreeing with you and defending and indefensible position. have fun arguing with the wall.

'I reject the premise' is such a powerful thing to say

[sapphic-mauve]

'I reject the premise' is such a powerful thing to say

[sapphic-mauve]

anything is too much. I just want to isolate and go to bed and never get up

[sapphic-mauve]

I'm hoping i just need to sleep and it'll all go away