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Neri does not congratulate you for finally figuring out the obvious. Idiot.  

Ch 8 illustration done on request.

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years after the inconclusive FDA outbreak investigation #1064 ("dry cereal") from 2022, with over 550 fucking adverse effects reported (WHICH IS A LOT!), and the LARGEST influx of reports iwaspoisoned had ever seen, people are still reporting mystery gut issues, sometimes excruciatingly painful, after eating lucky charms and cheerios. this is not limited to one or a few flavors, I have seen this across a bunch of different flavors and varieties of both.

there has never been a recall about this. there has never been a cause found. the investigation was closed without figuring out what the fuck is making people sick. lucky charms is blatantly aimed at kids, and cheerios spent decades making a name for itself as 'healthy' and 'safe' for people with major medical issues.

anecdotally since 2022 I have spoken to a lot of people who either had their kid's mystery gut issues clear up after their kids stopped eating those cereals, or had their own mystery gut issues clear up after they stopped eating the cereals themselves. and yes, this includes people without a gluten sensitivity.

if you eat any flavors of lucky charms or cheerios, and you have any kind of mystery gut issues going on, please try avoiding the cereals for a week or few and see if anything improves or clears up.

and yeah, I am never eating ANY lucky charms or cheerios again. they KNOW their cereals are making people sick. they just hope everyone forgot.

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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I love Pokémon mystery dungeon it’s such a wild game

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I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

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@elodieunderglass Massive continuity of...goslings?

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hey you!

you know that you don’t have to be special or achieve anything great in order to justify your existence, right? it’s okay to be average. it’s okay to be mediocre. it’s okay to not be special. you deserve to exist and i love you<3

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That’s it. I’m complaining. I’m tired of restaurants thinking you’re only counting calories. I need the carb information but not every restaurant provides that so fuck diabetics I guess. God forbid I don’t want to die from estimating the wrong amount of insulin. I’m usually pretty good at it but come the fuck on.

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my mystery dungeon team from when i played explorers of sky recently! top tier game

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Genuine friendly summer reminder for my fellow fat people.

We have more body than skinny people so we also contain more water and therefore need to drink more. 2 Litres is something skinny people need to drink we need more. I aim for 4 litres a day.

While any waterbased liquid is good try to not drink all 4 litres in coke or soda. I absolutley do recommend sport drinks or similar things. Fat people like us, or at least me, sweat a lot in this heat even without sport. Refill those electrolytes. Your body will thank you.

My go to drink at home is a 2 litre jug of water with just enough store bought raspberry or orange syrup that it has a taste thats not water.

Please stay hydrated in this heat and take care of your body. Its the only one you have.

(If you clown on fat people in tags/replies/comments I will hunt you for sport)

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If your birthday is on June 14th and for whatever reason you are feeling disappointed about that, just know that you share a birthday (hatchday) with my parrot Ripley:

He is turning 16 this year and as always, we will be throwing him a party.

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I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

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Spending adult money correctly

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You've been "trapped" in a "VR" game for years, learnt magic, had a family, etc. But now they've "rescued" you from it all. Waking up on the hospital bed you reflexively cast a shield. Which works.

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Dear, sweet, Littlefoot, do you remember the way to the Great Valley?  I guess so. But why do I have to know if you’re going to be with me? I’ll be with you. Even if you can’t see me. What do you mean I can’t see you? I can always see you.

The Land Before Time(1988) dir. Don Bluth

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A brightly coloured Robin lit up the backyard.