sapphoandvanzetti

[sapphoandvanzetti]

i've been saying this meme aloud to my friends and family for years now and i realized i never put it into text format so i'm subjecting you all to it.

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they’re so cute?? 😭 oh to be an edgy little flapper with a femme boyfriend sittin on the ground together

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what the fuck

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stop I'm already gay

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

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don't threaten us with a good time, zionists.

Zionists: We will leave nyc if Zohran becomes mayor.

Me: Promise?

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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

[sapphoandvanzetti]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[sapphoandvanzetti]

[sapphoandvanzetti]

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

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how do they look so majestic and so stupid at the same time

Jaguars swimming

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I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

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why bother caring about the environment when 1. It’s so obviously a lost cause and 2. There’s definitely going to be a nuclear war?

And what are you doing about it Anon? Learn about ecological restoration or get out of my way.

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[sapphoandvanzetti]

Ah these children who always create problems for poor mothers....