sassybluebird
sassybluebird
Sassybluebird
1K posts
21- she/her [I'm in so many fandoms they probably wouldn't all fit here]
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sassybluebird · 2 days ago
Note
I have I request/fic idea that’s kind of a flip on the usual. Reader & Elijah are dating and he can tell that’s she’s been holding something back when they have sex and is determined to get her to let go so he really pulls out all the stops. Reader is a biter, especially in situations she needs to be quiet (& maybe even a bit of a scratcher ie kinda claws at his back) but a previous boyfriend told it was weird so she’s super self conscious about it and is always a little distracted during sex fighting the instinct to bite him. Elijah succeeds and she latches onto that area between the neck & shoulder and turns out, not only is Elijah totally fine with it, he really REALLY likes it.
Bites
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
{Elijah Mikaelson x f!reader} You were afraid to bite him. Until he told you to do it again.
♡♡ hiii anon I love your mind && Happy day one of mikaelson week!! I've missed ya'll ~xo ♡♡
3.2k words - Warnings: smut, praise kink, riding, biting kink (the blood-free kind ... although Elijah absolutely wouldn’t mind...), overwhelmed reader, feral elijah && warm fire...
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The fire crackled low in the hearth, casting flickering light across all of the ancient books lining the walls. Everything felt still and quiet, that kind of soft silence that only came when you were wrapped in warmth and safety. It was your favorite kind of evening, curled under a soft blanket on the sofa with your favorite person tucked close.
You still weren’t sure how you managed to pull a man like Elijah. You met a while ago, when he walked up to you like he already knew what you would say. All dark eyes and smooth charm, tailored clothes and quiet confidence. He had disarmed you instantly. From the first moment, you sensed something different about him. Though you didn’t know then just how true that would turn out to be.
And now, months later, here you were. Nestled against one of the oldest living creatures on earth, with his arm around your waist like it belonged there. He could have had anyone. And yet, he chose you.
You certainly weren’t going to argue.
A soft sigh slipped from your lips as you pressed in closer, wrapping the blanket tighter around both of you. You looked up at him, studying the familiar lines of his face in the firelight. His hair fell softly across his brow, his dark eyes tracking the lines of his book. But the way his hand moved, slow and precise, long fingers flexing just enough to remind you how they felt against your skin. That was what made your heart flutter.
Your gaze moved up to the column of his throat, the curve where neck meets shoulder. A place you kissed before many times, gently, reverently. But tonight, you didn’t want to kiss it. You wanted to bite it.
The thought hit fast and hot. You swallowed hard, shifting under the blanket as heat pooled between your thighs. It wasn’t the first time you had felt it. That deep, aching urge always crept in during quiet moments like this. When you felt content and safe around him, overwhelmed by love and want and intense feeling.
But just as quickly, shame curled through you like smoke. You shouldn’t want that. Not like this. It was too much. You were too much.
The last time you followed that instinct, let it slip past your lips in the heat of the moment, your ex hadn’t understood. He laughed. Pulled back. Shut down. Called you intense. In that tone people use when they mean something else. When they mean weird. When they mean wrong.
You pretended it didn’t hurt, but it stuck. It lived in you. Ever since, you kept that part of yourself locked away. Bit your own lip instead. Dug your nails into the sheets instead of skin. Avoided the feelings that threatened to swallow you whole.
And now here you were, held in the arms of the most perfect man you had ever known. Still too scared to show him the whole of what you wanted.
Elijah turned another page, but he hadn’t read a single word in the last five minutes. He could feel your body pressed against his side, warm and restless, your breaths coming shallower now. And he could practically hear the thoughts racing behind your silence.
He didn’t move, didn’t speak. Just watched you from the corner of his eye, taking in the way your gaze lingered on him a little too long, the way your lips parted like you might say something, then thought better of it. Your breath caught.. just barely. But he noticed. He always did.
There was a flush rising beneath your skin, a certain tension in your frame that made his chest warm. You were trying so hard not to let it show. He could feel it in the way you tucked yourself a little closer, like you needed him to notice without asking. He found it very sweet.
He didn’t know what you were holding back, not exactly. But he could feel it, some small ache just beneath the surface. Something you thought you needed to hide.
He could wait. He would wait. But it was hard not to smile when you got like this. All quiet and shy…and clearly about two seconds from climbing into his lap.
His book was forgotten. His eyes were on you now, wearing that unreadable expression he saved for when he was studying something closely. Not judging. Just observing.
"W-what?" you asked, trying not to squirm. "You’re very distracting, you know that?"
Elijah gave you a small, amused smile. "I haven’t done anything."
"Exactly," you said, returning the smile. "You sit there looking like that and expect me to concentrate on anything else?"
He hummed, low and content, and leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead. "I was under the impression we were just reading."
"I was trying," you murmured, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips brushed your skin. "Then your hand turned a page and my brain completely stopped working."
"That sounds serious," he said, voice dropping just a little, all low and velvet-soft as his fingers slipped beneath the blanket. "Should I be concerned?"
You giggled breathlessly just before he caught your mouth in a soft kiss. His hand trailed up your thigh, pausing just beneath the hem of your dress. Then, with careful ease, he dipped under the fabric. Your pulse quickened, but you didn’t pull away.
His palm slid higher, warm and steady against bare skin. He smiled into the kiss, then shifted, lifting you effortlessly into his lap. The blanket slid down, pooling around your waist as your knees braced on either side of his hips. He only broke the kiss long enough to lift your dress over your head, leaving you in nothing but your panties.
He hadn’t expected his evening to go like this. Elijah had planned to read, maybe kiss you once or twice and fall asleep with you curled against his chest. But now you were in his lap, bare and radiant, and all he could do was stare. The way your skin flushed under his palms, the way your fingers trembled as they touched him. It always undid something in him.
Your hands moved to the front of his shirt, fumbling slightly with the buttons. He didn’t rush you. He liked watching you like this. A little nervous, focused, so clearly wanting him. You got halfway down before he leaned in and kissed your jaw, a whisper-soft encouragement. You pushed the fabric back off his shoulders and down his arms, quickly tossing it aside.
His hand slid down your back, firm and possessive, pulling you tight against him. He was already hard, and the pressure of it beneath you made your breath hitch. He guided your hips with slow, deliberate movements, coaxing you to grind against him. The friction stole your focus, made your fingers tremble against his skin as the heat between you deepened, hungry and sweet and impossible to ignore.
You let your hands roam across his chest, drinking him in. His skin was warm under your palms, his muscles carved and defined. Your fingertips traced the ridge of his collarbone, slid up the curve of his neck, tangled in his hair. He felt like something meant to be worshipped.
You reached between you, breath shaky, and undid the fastenings of his pants. He let you, his eyes never leaving your face. You pushed the fabric down just enough to free him, and the second your hand wrapped around him, he groaned, the sound rumbling through his chest.
You stroked him slowly, deliberately, savoring the feel of him in your hand. The way he exhaled like you were undoing him. The way his fingers dug into your thighs, the ways his pupils dilated, making them somehow even darker.
The firelight flickered across your back, casting the two of you in molten gold. He leaned in, breath warm against your throat, and you tipped your head back as he kissed along your neck, his mouth open, tongue teasing. His hand moved between your legs, slipping beneath your panties and pushing the fabric aside.
His fingers teased you gently, not enough to satisfy, just enough to make your hips shift, seeking more.
"Go slow for me. Let it ache a while," he murmured. "I'll take care of you."
Your body trembled with anticipation, with need, and you bit your lip, stifling a whimper. He kept his touches light, too light, just barely brushing the surface, then a little deeper, circling and coaxing until your legs began to shake.
You tried to stay in control. Tried to hold back the part of you that wanted to claw, to bite, to take. The part that always felt too hungry.
But then he pulled away, slow and deliberate, and shifted beneath you. He pressed the head of his cock right where you wanted him most and held there, unmoving, letting the need twist hot and sharp inside you.
You held your breath as he pressed against you, and then, slowly, you began to sink down. You let out a quiet moan, savoring the stretch and the way his hands tightened around you, steadying you.
You started to move, slow and careful. Lifting just enough to feel the pull before sinking down again. Every motion was thick with wet heat, achingly slow. Sweet friction that built fire with every pass.
Your muscles burned with the effort of staying in control, and your heart pounded like it was trying to claw its way out of your chest. Your nails digging into the sofa.
His hands slid along your spine, grounding you as he let you set the pace. But it was not enough to hold back the rush building in your blood.
It was too much. The pleasure. The pressure. The unbearable fullness of him, deep and steady, everywhere.
And still, you tried to hold it together.
Still, you held back.
He felt it in the hitch of your breath, in the tremble that started in your thighs and worked its way through you like a current. Your heart was a wild, beautiful thing beneath your skin. Fluttering against your ribs, echoing in his ears like a siren’s call. And your scent… god, the warmth of it, the way clouded all of his senses as you eased down onto him. It nearly undid him.
You were trying so hard to stay composed. He could see it in the tension at your jaw, the way your fingers dug into the leather behind you instead of into him. It made something sorrowful ache in his chest. You were holding back. Still afraid. Still unsure if it was safe to fall apart with him.
He wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to be. That he could take it. That he wanted it. Wanted you to be hungry, wild and unrestrained. But he didn’t speak. Not yet. He didn’t dare interrupt the soft, sacred rhythm you set.
One of his hands slid across your shoulder, fingers trailing down your arm until he found your wrist. He brought it forward, pressed your palm to his chest, his skin hot beneath your touch.
“Touch me,” he said softly, steady as a heartbeat. “You don’t need to hold back.”
Your pulse jumped. The warmth of his skin, the steady thump under your palm, was too much. Too intimate. Too good. Your other hand followed, splayed flat over his heart. His hands returned to your waist.
You moved again, hips rolling deep and slow. You arched into him, nails dragging red down his chest. The pleasure built and built. And still, it wasn’t enough.
Your body trembled, caught between the instinct to take and the fear of being too much. You kissed along his jaw... that beautiful jaw. Just a little bit of stubble, sharp enough to cut. You kissed along it, slowly, breathing him in, afraid and desperate in equal parts to sink your teeth in.
Your mouth lingered there. Open. Wanting. But not daring.
His fingers flexed at your hips.
"Take it," he murmured, voice wrecked. "Whatever you want. Take it."
And finally you gave in.
You sank your teeth into the curve where neck met shoulder. Not enough to break skin, not on someone like him, but enough to hurt. Enough to shake him.
Elijah’s groan was guttural, the sound of a man utterly undone. His head fell back, and hips jerked beneath you, a sudden, uncontrolled thrust, and your body clamped down around him so tight it made your breath catch.
“Fuck.”
He swore under his breath, more primal than polished now and his hands squeezed your ass, guiding your hips.
“Again,” he hissed. “Harder.”
Your chest clenched. No one had ever enjoyed your intense side. No one had ever asked for more. The shame that always curled beneath your ribs was gone, burned out by the raw need in his voice. He wasn’t tolerating it. He was loving it.
And you were helpless to resist.
You bit him again, harder, and the strangled sound that escaped him sent a thrill down your spine. Your hands were shaking, fingers pressed tight against his chest, and your heart was pounding, but everything else felt perfectly, blissfully clear.
"Yes," he breathed, and his hand slipped between you, his fingers stroking over the spot where you were joined, and then up, rubbing in insistent circles over your clit, "Yes, love, yes..."
You moaned against his neck, the sound muffled. It was too much. The feel of him moving beneath you, the smell of his cologne, the taste of his skin, the press of his fingers, his hand against your back. The sounds he made. That beautiful, wrecked voice saying yes, over and over again.
Your mouth was everywhere, rabidly moving along the line of his jaw, the sharp ridge of his throat, the flushed skin you already marked once. You bit down over and over, teeth dragging just enough to make him groan, filthy and low. You felt drunk on it, dizzy, like the whole world was spinning around you and he was the only thing that could keep you upright.
Your hips bucked hard, your rhythm lost, and he began to bounce you, lifting your hips and bringing them back down with a punishing force. Every thrust drove a ragged sound from the both of you.
“Elijah,” you gasped, already breathless, fingers curling into his shoulders.
“Again,” he growled, voice sharp now. “Fucking bite me.”
The command in his voice hit like a punch to the gut. A moan tore from your throat as you did, harder this time, the taste of his skin flooding your tongue. His pace increased, his whole body shuddered, and his cock twitched deep inside you as he cursed under his breath. He started moving you even faster, every thrust hit something perfect, something devastating, and your moans turned into broken little sobs.
Your hands scrambled for his skin, digging into his chest, his shoulders, holding on as you bounced in his lap, thighs burning, body slick with sweat and slick and spit.
“Look at you,” he gasped, voice gone completely hoarse, his dark eyes wide and wrecked. “So fucking sweet like this. Look at how you ride me…wild fucking thing-”
You didn’t even recognize the sound you made. You were too far gone.
It wasn’t even sex anymore. It was heat and hunger and something feral. You bit him again, just under his jaw this time, and he groaned, his hips losing their rhythm, and you didn't care. You didn’t care how loud you were, how your teeth tore at his skin, the way your nails left angry red marks down his chest.
The ache in you was so deep. It had been there for months, burning like an ember in your core. And now, finally, the fire was burning through you, scorching everything else away. There was nothing but this moment.
You came with a cry, body clenching down around him in waves, your whole body shaking, lips still pressed to his skin. You couldn't stop. You didn’t want to. You kept licking, kissing, moaning into his neck as the pleasure overtook you completely.
He followed you, voice wrecked and raw, hands still guiding you through it as he spilled inside you with a shudder that wracked his whole frame.
Slowly, the world came back. The crackle of the fire, the cool leather of the couch, the heat of his body, and the gentle press of his lips against your cheek, your neck, your shoulder.
Your limbs felt like lead, and all the air left your lungs in a shaky exhale.
"Holy shit," you managed, still gasping for breath.
"That is," he murmured, the ghost of a smile on his lips, "One way to put it."
You laughed, still dizzy, and collapsed against his chest. He pulled the blanket back up around the both of you, his hands smoothing along your spine, soothing you as your breath came in pants.
The fire had burned low. Most of the room had fallen into shadow, and the chill of the air was starting to creep back in. Without a word, Elijah shifted, carefully disentangling himself from the mess of limbs and blankets.
“No,” you mumbled, arms wrapping tighter around his middle. “Where do you think you’re going?”
He chuckled softly. “Nowhere far, sweetheart.”
You let him go reluctantly, flopping onto your side as he stood. And then … well. You definitely didn’t regret letting him go.
The firelight kissed every plane of his body in soft orange-gold. You watched as he moved to the fireplace, unhurried and utterly unbothered to be naked, every muscle flexing as he bent to adjust the wood in the hearth. Strong shoulders, defined arms and the curve of his back… he looked like he should be carved into stone. He didn’t even have to look at you to know what you were thinking.
“You’re staring,” he said without looking back.
“You’re naked,” you shot back, pulling the blanket up to your chin, flushed and smiling.
He gave the fire one last nudge and turned, smiling in that infuriatingly composed way. “So I am.”
He crossed the room with slow, easy steps, the light catching the curves and ridges of his torso. Your gaze drifted lower, and he laughed, a low rumble in his chest. “You alright?”
You nodded, blushing.
He climbed back onto the couch, leaning in to kiss you, long and languid. When he pulled back, you were grinning, and he looked thoroughly pleased with himself.
“Was that alright?” you asked, voice small. “I know I can get… in my head. And the biting thing, it’s…”
He shook his head and kissed you again, gentle and certain, as if to hush every doubt before it could reach your lips.
“My love,” he said, brushing a knuckle down your cheek. “You are speaking to a vampire. You think I’d be scandalized by a few enthusiastic nibbles?”
You giggled, a little fluttery in your chest. He pulled the blanket closer, settling in beside you. He kissed the corner of your mouth, then the tip of your nose, then down to your jaw. He continued like that, peppering soft kisses all along the line of your jaw until he reached your ear. “I meant what I said. I want all of you. Even the parts you think are too much. Especially those.”
Your heart clenched.
You peeked up at him again, shy. “Even if I want to bite you like… all the time?”
He grinned. “Especially that.”
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sassybluebird · 3 days ago
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Surrender
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
{Elijah Mikaelson x f!reader} After a bloody night out, Elijah returns home teetering on the edge. You don’t try to reason with the violence simmering under his skin. You offer him relief instead.
♡♡ This is my attempt to do a proper sub!elijah fic that feels true to his character... It’s based on a request I got a long time ago that’s stuck with me ever since ~xo ♡♡
1.4k words - Warnings: smut, dom!reader x sub!Elijah, oral sex (f!receiving), face riding, power dynamics, praise & degradation, emotional unraveling, worship kink && a bloody Klaus..
♡♡ Ps: thank you soo much for your love and support for mikaelson week!! It was so much fun to write && stay tuned for more ♡♡
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The front door creaked open, and for one agonizing second, your heart seized. It was late. Too late. You had spent the last hour imagining every brutal way this night might end.
But Klaus's voice echoed first, vibrant and smug, shattering your dread.
"And that's precisely how one makes a grand exit, brother," he announced, voice dripping with satisfaction. You could practically hear his smirk as he swaggered into view, dripping blood and arrogance, his henley torn to ribbons, clinging damp to his chest from sweat and gore, his curls a wild, sweat-soaked mess.
Elijah followed behind, his suit still pristine save for the splatters of blood staining the cuffs and the lapels. His eyes, though... Elijah's eyes had always been his tell, and tonight they burned, wild and hungry. His body remained still, but his eyes moved like the sea, a raging, tumultuous tempest that could only mean one thing.
He saw you and something in him jolted. Relief tried to surface, but it was quickly smothered under the weight of everything else. Duty. Rage. Control. Always control.
You exhaled slowly, relief flooding you as you rose, moving instinctively toward your husband, needing to touch him, to hold him, to confirm for yourself that he had truly returned unharmed.
He stiffened slightly when you wrapped your arms around him, a brief flash of tension in his body. But then he slowly allowed himself to melt into your embrace, his own arms winding around you as his lips pressed a gentle kiss against your temple. Even now, even here, his body hummed with residual energy. Violence lived just under his skin. He didn’t know how to release it. Only how to restrain it.
Klaus tossed his jacket onto the chair carelessly, eyes glittering as he recounted the night’s exploits.
"You should've seen it, Y/n," he said, grinning fiercely. "A masterpiece, really. Broken necks, blood everywhere. My dear brother got particularly artistic. Quite the show."
Elijah hummed faintly, voice even, almost bored. "I merely sought efficiency," he replied.
The words came out flat. Polished. Safe.
Inside, he was anything but.
You shifted, pressing a palm against his chest. You knew the mask he wore, the calm exterior he defaulted to when the world became too loud, too sharp. It was the shell he built when centuries of loss, pain, and responsibility threatened to crush him. It was the front he wore when he wanted nothing more than to break, and the only thing that kept him from shattering completely.
And when the cracks in his mask began to show, when the pressure of his endless self-control began to overwhelm him, it became your duty to peel it away, gently, deliberately, piece by piece, until you reached the man beneath.
Klaus kept talking, relishing every bloody detail, oblivious or uncaring of Elijah’s silent unraveling. You lifted your gaze, catching Elijah’s eyes as you tilted your head, studying him. No injuries. No fatigue. Just the unbearable, quiet pressure he had placed on himself.
Your gaze softened. "Klaus," you said quietly. "It’s late."
Klaus turned, his eyes flicking knowingly from your hand pressed against Elijah’s chest to Elijah’s barely contained energy. A wicked smirk curved his lips.
"Ah, eager to retire already, are we?" he drawled, voice rich with amusement and innuendo. "I suppose there's nothing quite like a good fuck after a proper massacre to calm the nerves."
You rolled your eyes. "We’re going upstairs," you said flatly.
Klaus smirked, his gaze sweeping appreciatively over the pair of you. "Well, if you want company..."
"Good night, Niklaus," Elijah cut in smoothly, his voice still even, but the threat in his tone was clear.
You were already tugging him toward the stairs, his fingers laced tightly with yours. He followed without hesitation. A part of him didn’t trust himself to lead right now.
The bedroom door shut with a soft click and the world outside fell away.
You did not turn on the lights. The moonlight spilling through the high windows was enough, the silver glow catching on the sharp planes of Elijah’s face as he waited, motionless, in the center of the room.
You walked slowly, deliberately, circling him once without a word. Your nails trailed lightly across his shoulder, the collar of his stained shirt, the faint smear of dried blood on his throat. He watched you. Always watching. But saying nothing.
You stepped close. One hand came up to rest gently on the side of his neck. Your voice was calm, soft, but there was no mistaking the command beneath it.
"Kneel."
His eyes snapped to yours, wide, startled. And then… grateful.
And he dropped.
No hesitation. No arrogance. Just obedience.
Elijah knelt in front of you like he belonged there. His body still buzzing from violence, and yet his gaze was soft, adoring. He breathed you in like salvation, like he had only just now remembered what oxygen was. He did not care. This was peace. This was the only thing that ever silenced the noise.
"Good," you murmured, stepping closer, your fingers grazing through his sweat-dampened hair. "That’s better. Look at you. Such a perfect little killer. Slaughter on your hands, and now you’re here, waiting to be told what to do."
He didn’t respond, didn’t need to. The praise hit somewhere deep, curling inside his chest and loosening something tight and long-held.
His hands rested lightly on his thighs, posture still too perfect, too composed. Still trying to hold on.
So you tightened your grip in his hair, just enough to tip his head back, to make his throat stretch out for you.
"I said let go, Elijah," you whispered, voice low and mocking. "You don’t need to think. You don’t need to speak. All that blood, all that fury. Gone. And now? You exist for this. For me."
You watched his lips part, breath coming faster. That mask, that control, it was already slipping. And for once, he welcomed it.
"I want your mouth," you said, slowly, deliberately. "I want you to forget everything except how to make me come. You understand?"
He moaned softly, reverently, as your fingers pulled up your dress. Slowly. You revealed inch after inch of bare skin, enjoying the way his eyes tracked the movement like prey caught in the jaws of something bigger. Hungrier.
You stepped out of your heels and panties, then lifted one leg over his shoulder, guiding his face between your thighs with the kind of ease that came from knowing he would follow you anywhere.
"You’ve killed for me," you whispered, your tone almost sweet. "Now earn your reward, my beautiful monster."
Only with you did it not feel like a curse.
His mouth landed on your cunt like it was prayer. He licked slowly, deliberately, savoring your taste with the passion of a man unmaking himself. This was not desperation. This was devotion.
"God," you breathed, rocking your hips forward. "You taste me like I’m the only thing keeping you alive. Is that it, baby? Is that what you need? Just something warm to bury your mouth in after all that blood?"
He whimpered against you. Not just from arousal… but from relief. You always could see him so clearly.
"Look at you," you whispered. "Elijah Mikaelson, terror of men. On your knees with his mouth full of cunt. What would your enemies say, hmm?"
His pride didn’t flinch. Not even a little. Not with you. Instead he moaned at your words as you guided the rhythm, grinding against him. His jaw flexed. His tongue followed every twitch of your hips like he was born for this.
"You feel that?" you whispered, panting, hips rolling harder now. "That’s me using you. That’s your reward for being such a good little killer."
Tears stung his eyes. He didn’t fight them. He had no more room for control. He let surrender take over.
You rode his face, cunt soaked, thighs trembling around his head as the orgasm built fast and sharp and relentless. His tongue flicked, circled, sucked. Every movement perfectly in tune with your body.
And when it hit, when your orgasm crashed through you, you did not hold back.
You ground your hips down hard, moaning his name like a mantra, your thighs squeezing tight around his face as your cunt pulsed against his tongue. He stayed there. Still. Anchored. Letting you use him until the trembling passed and the world slowed.
Only then did you release your grip.
Only then did he pull back. Face flushed. Mouth soaked. Chest heaving.
You stroked the sweat-matted hair back from his forehead, your thumb brushing under his eye. You tilted his chin up with two fingers, your gaze soft now, heavy with something warmer than lust.
"Better?" you asked quietly.
His nod was immediate. Small. Honest.
You smiled.
"Come on," you murmured, guiding him to his feet with a gentle tug. "Let’s get you in the shower."
And just like that, he followed.
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sassybluebird · 4 days ago
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unscheduled — aizawa s.
aizawa s. x detective fem!reader│wc: 4k
synopsis: It's late. You're working. And Shota brings fast food.
cw/tags: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, suggestive themes
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The office is quiet, save for the low hum of your laptop, the occasional creak of old plumbing, and the steady scratch of your pen across paper.
The overhead lights are off, replaced by the soft glow of your desk lamp and the blue light of open tabs—city surveillance footage, license plate databases, a paused video from a bodega robbery.
You’d been reorganizing your notes for the last hour, half out of necessity, half to keep your mind from spiraling after thirty-two hours with little sleep.
You’re mid-sentence, scribbling something about time discrepancy, when you felt it. A warmth at your back, a slow exhale ghosting over your neck.
Arms eased around your waist. Familiar. Strong. And oh-so gentle.
You stiffened for a breath, instinct prickling—but then you melted.
“Detective,” Shota murmured, voice low against your ear. “A word?”
You sighed, letting your eyes flutter shut as the pen slipped from your fingers. “Mmm… you’re going to say two,” you murmured back, your lips quirking into a smile. “Probably ‘go’ and ‘home.’”
“Funny,” he said, pressing a kiss to your nape. “I was going to say ‘come’ and ‘here.’”
A quiet laugh bubbled from your throat. You slowly turned in his arms and there he was—tired eyes, dark circles, hair tied back loosely. Stupidly handsome, as always.
You leaned up to kiss him, soft and quick, before wrapping your arms around his waist. Tucking your face in his shoulder, you breathed him in. He smelled like clean soap and night air.
It had been two months since you last saw him.
Your gaze caught on a plastic bag resting on one of the tables behind him. That hadn’t been there before, and the red logo was unmistakable.
“You brought dinner?” you asked, knowing full well it’s past 2 A.M.
He shrugged, the barest of smiles tugging at his mouth. “I figured you hadn’t eaten. Or slept. Am I wrong?”
You pinched his cheek, shifting slightly to at least pretend to hide the chaos on your desk. “You haven’t either,” you muttered, gaze flicking to the shadows under his eyes.
He chuckled, then nodded toward the couch in the corner. “Come on. Before it gets cold.”
The couch creaked beneath your combined weight as the two of you settled in. Shota set the takeout bag on the coffee table, unwrapping its contents. He handed you your portion without a word.
You accepted it with a small smile, the wrinkle of wax paper loud in the quiet room. “So,” you started, peeling back the wrapper of your burger, “what’s the occasion?”
You took a bite before he could answer, humming in content. It was only then that you realized how hungry you were.
“Your cholesterol wasn’t high enough,” he replied dryly, popping a nugget into his mouth.
You laughed, stealing one for yourself. “How romantic.”
“I try.” He smirked, nudging the nugget container closer to your side.
“But seriously, didn’t you have patrol tonight?” you said around a mouthful. “And it’s a school day tomorrow too.”
“I switched shifts,” he said. “And I’m not staying long. Just for a few hours.”
Your heart warmed at that. Of course he’d trade rest for this. For you.
You ate in silence for a few minutes, but you didn’t mind. It felt nice to share a meal like this again, a sliver of normalcy in your sleepless world. You didn’t realize how much you’d miss this. How grounding it was to just be next to him.
You glanced at him.
As you chewed, a few strands of your hair slipped loose, falling over your eyes. You tried blowing them away with a breath, though unsuccessfully.
Then, without a word, Shota leaned forward. Fingers brushed your hair back behind your ear, the backs of them lingering against your cheek for a beat too long. You felt the warmth trail after them like a tide pulling back, slow and reluctant.
“What?” he said, but his mouth curved into that lazy, knowing smile.
“Nothing,” you murmured, and turned away.
Your eyes dropped to his mouth and found a smudge of ketchup near the corner, barely noticeable.
Without thinking, you reached over, wiped it away with your thumb, and licked it clean like it was second nature.
And it was. You’d done it before, countless times.
But the way he looked at you, you’d think it was the first time.
“That was kinda hot,” he murmured, voice amused but soft.
You huffed a laugh, gently nudging his shoulder. “That’s all it takes to get you going? You’re more sleep-deprived than I thought.”
His chuckle vibrated against your palm, but that look—that wasn’t him getting turned on. Not even close.
Then, without warning, he said, “I missed you.”
You paused, the words landing somewhere deep.
Shota never said things like that first. 
You usually had to tease it out of him, pull it loose behind a wall of dumb jokes and half-hearted grumbling. And even then, he’d deflect, tossing some excuse like, “The cats keep looking for you,” or “The bed’s too cold.”
Yet, here he was, handing it over without a fight.
You put your food down slowly, more carefully than needed, as if sudden movement might startle the moment away. After a pause, you wiped your fingers with a napkin and shifted closer to him.
Then, you leaned in, resting your head against his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt was warm, soft from too many washes.
Your eyes fluttered shut as you exhaled, long and quiet, letting go of something you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.
“I missed you too,” you murmured, cheeks warm. “Even when you’re here right now.”
There was a brief silence. Then came the low rumble of his voice, deadpan and almost fond.
“You always get like this when I say nice things.”
But he didn’t pull away. If anything, his shoulder stayed steady beneath your cheek. He tilted his head, just enough to rest his cheek against yours. The bristle of his stubble scraped your skin, and something fluttered low in your stomach.
You snorted. “Wow. Groundbreaking observation. What’s next? ‘Water’s wet’? ‘Sky’s blue’?” 
You leaned back just enough to meet his eyes, already rolling yours. “Yes, Shota, when you’re nice, I like it. I know. Shocking.”
His lips twitched, trying to hold back a grin. “Damn. With this level of skill, I think I deserve a promotion.” 
His hand slid up your shoulder and gently pushed, guiding you back into the cushions as he shifted to hover above you. His weight didn’t press—but the suggestion of it was there.
“What’s above a detective again…?”
You burst out laughing, half at awful innuendo, half at the ridiculous way his eyebrows wiggled. “Oh my god. That was so bad.”
He didn’t budged, still caging you in, but his smirk softened. “Worked on you, though, didn’t it?”
“Barely.” You shoved at his chest—half-hearted and not really trying. His presence was solid, familiar. And oddly comforting. “And the answer is nothing, because you’d be a terrible boss.”
“Oh, really?” he murmured, dipping his headcloser. “You weren’t complaining when I bossed you around in bed last time.”
You squinted. “Perv.”
But you didn’t move. And neither did he. Until his mouth found yours.
The kiss started slow, gentle. His lips moved with unhurried certainty, like he had nowhere else to be, like this was the only thing on his list tonight. You curled your fingers into the front of his shirt, already halfway to dragging him closer when—
Your stomach let out a loud, traitorous growl. It sounded halfway between a snarl and a dying cat.
Shota froze, lips still hovering close. “... Wow.”
“Shut up,” you groaned, pressing a hand to your face. “I’m hungry, okay?”
“Clearly.”
He stayed where he was for another second, intentionally putting his weight on you just to be difficult. And your stomach made another dramatic complaint.
He chuckled, finally easing off you and helping you sit up. “Alright, alright.”
He reached for the abandoned takeout, pressing it back into your hands like it was a peace offering.
“Here,” he said. “Eat. Before you start chewing on me.”
As you both settled back into the food, the conversation drifted easily into life updates. You told him bits about the case, nothing sensitive, just the parts that frustrated you most. He listened the way he always did, never offering solutions unless you asked for them. Just letting you talk, until you didn’t need to anymore.
You rolled your eyes but took the burger anyway, biting into it with a vengeance.
Then, as if on instinct, you kicked him lightly in the shin.
He didn’t even flinch.
In return, he gave you updates from U.A.—small things, subtle milestones, the kind of stories that made you realize just how far you’d slipped from the normal rhythm of life. And how much you’d missed it.
“Oh, right,” you said as the last of the wrappers were balled up and tossed into the bin.
You crossed the room to your desk, rummaging through one of the drawers until your fingers closed around a white envelope. It was pristine, elegant, embossed with delicate swirls that shimmered faintly in the light.
“Kaede and Ren got engaged,” you said, offering the envelope as you returned to the couch.
The words came out too carefully, like you were reciting a report rather than sharing news.
Shota raised an eyebrow, fingers brushing over the embossed edge. “Really?”
“Yeah. Sent us an invite. It’s next spring,” you said, watching him too closely as he opened it. “She says she’s thinking of quitting the field too. Maybe start a consultancy firm instead.”
He nodded slowly, skimming the invitation before sliding it back into the envelope and leaving it on the coffee table.
You bit your lip. Why was this so hard? You weren’t asking for a promise. Not even a plan. Just a thought. A possibility.
But the fear was there, coiled tight in your stomach.
What if he hadn’t considered it at all? 
What if you were the only one letting your mind wander there?
You didn’t talk about these things. Not unless they were buried under sarcasm or deflection. And even then, only when you were brave enough to pretend you weren’t serious.
But tonight, with that envelope glowing white against the dark wood, and with his warmth pressed beside you after too many nights apart, the words just hung on the tip of your tongue, desperately wanting to be said.
You glanced at him sideways, heart hammering. “Does that… ever cross your mind? Stuff like that?”
He didn’t answer right away. 
But he didn’t look away either.
“Sometimes,” he said at last. “Lately, more often.”
You nodded, your fingers toying with a napkin, twisting it slowly. 
“I never used to think about it,” you said. “I was always focused on work. And I thought… what we have, it’s enough.”
And then, with a rush of panic, you waved your hands in front of him.
“And it is,” you rushed to say. “It still is. I just—”
You exhaled shakily. “I’m starting to realize how temporary everything is. How one day you’re this invincible twenty-something and the next you’re watching everyone move forward while you’re still…” 
The sentence crumbled under its own weight, the rest of the thought too vulnerable to voice.
Your gaze dropped, voice softer. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if wanting more than what we already have—on what we agreed on—makes me… selfish.”
The word tasted bitter in your mouth.
You hadn’t meant to say any of it. These were just silly thoughts, the kind that came in waves after too many hours at your desk, when you passed a bridal shop and your reflection lingered in the glass, or when you found yourself staring at high chairs in restaurants, imagining a tiny hand reaching for yours.
Just stupid yearnings you tucked away before it could take root.
You shook your head, trying to laugh. “No, forget it. That was dumb,” you muttered. “I’m probably just missing you too much.”
The attempt at humor didn’t land, not even with yourself.
Shota shifted closer. His hand found yours, threading your fingers together.
“I don’t think wanting more is selfish,” he said, his voice low but certain. “And it’s not dumb.”
You stared at your hands, at the way his thumb moved in circles against your skin. “But we agreed—”
“We agreed on what made sense then,” he cut in. “That doesn’t mean we can’t want something different now.”
You fell quiet. And then, softly, almost as if he wasn’t sure you’d believe it—
“You’ve never asked for more than I could give. Not once. Even when you should have. So… be selfish. It’s okay.”
Your chest tightened. 
Of course he knew. 
Of course he’d noticed all the ways you held back. The weekends you gave up without complaint. The way you buried your feelings when his schedule didn’t align. The way you told yourself—and him—that you didn’t need anything else.
You thought you were being understanding. Strong. Low-maintenance. 
But he’d seen you. All of you.
And now, hearing it out loud, hearing him say it, had you remembering all the words you’d swallowed. But for once, they didn’t taste so bitter.
He exhaled. “I know I’m not easy. My job, the hours, the unpredictability… And yours is just as bad.” His eyes searched yours, steady and dark. “That’s why we told ourselves this was enough. Because we used to think people like us weren’t meant for that kind of thing.”
His fingers curled tighter around yours, guiding you gently into his arms. He pulled you in, tucking you beneath his chin.
“But right now,” he murmured, “it doesn’t sound so far away anymore. Doesn’t sound so foolish. Even if it’s messy. Even if we’re scared sometimes. If it’s with you… it’s something I’d want. And—”
He hesitated, the words catching in his throat.
You felt it in the way his fingers stilled, in the subtle shift of his breath. For all the steadiness in his voice earlier, this part had been harder for him to say.
Your heart softened. 
Shota never fumbled his words, not even under pressure. Apparently even he had his limits.
So you tilted your head toward him, voice no louder than the hush between heartbeats. “And?”
He looked down at you, gaze steady. Open. “And I wonder,” he said quietly, “if it’s something you’d want… with me.”
You almost laughed, but it came out as a shaky breath instead.
Not because it was funny, but because the weight you’d been carrying—years of quiet yearning, careful restraint—suddenly felt so light.
All that time spent tiptoeing, stuffing those dreams into the corners of your mind, convincing yourself not to need too much… and he’d been thinking the same things all along.
You’d both been afraid. Overthinking the same silences.
But here you were.
Asking the same question.
And finally wanting the same answer.
“Of course I do,” you whispered, words thick with emotion as you hugged him tighter. “I always have.”
Something in you finally let go.
It hadn’t broken anything. Saying it out loud hadn’t made it fragile. If anything, it had stitched the two of you closer—tightened something that had already been strong for years, but now felt even more solid. More real.
“I mean,” you added, blinking quickly to fight the sting behind your eyes, “I wouldn’t stick around for eight years with your grumpy ass if I didn’t want to.”
That earned a small huff against your temple. The tension in his shoulders eased all at once, and you felt the exact moment his smirk formed.
“Grumpy, huh?” he murmured, mock-offended.
“You scowl, like, constantly.”
“I’ve saved cities with this face.”
You pulled back, snorting. “Yeah, by making villains think you’re one of them.”
His hand dragged lazily up your arm, warm and familiar. “You’re not exactly sunshine yourself, detective. Didn’t you threaten to arrest me the first time we met?”
You scoffed, indignant. “You were covered in blood and refused to answer any questions.”
“I did answer,” he said. “I told you it was mine.”
“After fifteen minutes of silence,” you shot back. “And only when I blocked the exit.”
You could still remember that moment with startling clarity—the way his capture weapon had twitched when you stepped into his path, the way your quirk had hummed under your skin, ready to activate. A standoff between two overworked, underslept people with too much pride and no patience.
“I was trying to avoid paperwork,” he muttered, but there was no edge to it now. Only warmth and a hint of amusement.
“And I was doing my job,” you said. “Some scruffy stranger ducking out before forensics arrived? Covered in blood? Yeah, forgive me for finding that suspicious.”
A beat. 
Then you both cracked.
Soft laughter spilled out between you, warm and unguarded.
He shook his head, his eyes crinkling faintly at the corners. “We’re so stupid.”
“Mmm. Speak for yourself,” you said, smirking. “I’m delightful.”
Shota rolled his eyes, but his grin gave him away. “Sure. That’s why I keep coming back. For the delight.”
“Damn right.”
Your smirk barely had time to settle before he leaned in. His lips ghosted over yours, not kissing, just letting you feel the possibility of it. It was enough to steal the smugness right off your face.
“Oh, screw you,” you muttered, and kissed him first.
He chuckled against your mouth, the sound low and warm, vibrating between your lips as you tugged him in by the collar. It started off soft, familiar, but the way he gripped your waist told you exactly where this was headed. There was no rush, but no hesitation either.
“I love you,” he murmured in between kisses, just barely.
Your breath hitched. Fingers stilled against his shirt.
But before you could say anything back, he took advantage of the pause—your lips parted and your guard down. He kissed you deeper, rougher. Tongue sliding in, stealing the words right out of your mouth.
By the time you pulled back, flushed and breathless, his hands had already started roaming. One arm circled your waist, pulling you flush against him; the other palmed your chest through your blouse. He gave a squeeze, and you let out a startled snort, half scandalized, half amused at the sheer nerve.
“Are we really doing this on my couch?” you breathed, not quite stopping him.
He glanced around, casual. “There’s a desk right there.”
“You’re unbelievable,” you mumbled, swatting at his arm.
“What?” he said, unbothered. “You were complaining.”
“Shota—”
“So the desk thing’s a no?”
You narrowed your eyes, already fighting a grin. “I thought you already knew I like it when you take charge.”
He laughed hard, his hand sliding beneath your thighs. 
You barely had time to react before he lifted you, strong and steady, his breath brushing your cheek as he carried you the short distance across the room. Mischief burned in his eyes. You could’ve walked, but that wasn’t the point.
He set you down on your desk with a soft thud, knocking over a pen holder in the process. Neither of you cared. Not when his fingers were already working open the buttons of your blouse, slow but practiced, like he knew the exact rhythm that would drive you just a little crazy.
The fabric slid open and his mouth followed—shoulder, collarbone, a scrape of teeth that pulled a quiet sound from your throat.
You arched into him, gasping, and tugged at the hem of his shirt in return. Your hands slipped underneath, dragging your nails lightly up his back.
He shivered. And you smiled.
You loved that. How easy it was to unravel him. How willingly he let you.
You tipped forward, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “I love you too,” you whispered.
And just before things went further—before more clothes hit the floor, before the night dissolved into heat and motion—you cradled his face in your hands. 
You kissed him one more time. Gentle. Devoted. 
A seal on all the things left unspoken yet deeply and undeniably present.
Whatever the future held, you’d figure it out.
Together.
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The lights were off, save for the faint glow of a desk lamp behind them—left on, probably, as an afterthought in the mess they’d made of the office.
The couch cushions shifted beneath his weight. 
Yn lay draped over him, her bare skin warm against his, cheek pressed to his chest, her breath slow. One leg curled between his. A hand rested lazily over his ribs. She was heavier now than she’d been an hour ago.
He wasn’t tired. Not yet.
His fingers moved through her hair, slow and steady. She liked that, or at least, she didn’t ask him to stop. Maybe she was asleep. Maybe not. He didn’t move to check, not wanting to disturb her. 
The silence was soft here, and they didn't get much of it.
He closed his eyes for a moment, just breathing with her. Letting the heat between them fade. Letting his body cool and settle.
She smelled like him now. Like night air and sweat and something sweet beneath it all.
He liked that more than he probably should.
They’d done this before, more than a few times. On couches, in beds, cheap hotel rooms. Hell, once on the floor of the dorms, curled up in his sleeping bag after she’d shown up past midnight with exhaustion in her voice and dirt on her boots. They were good at this—at catching up, making space, carving time out of whatever cracked hours they had left.
It always meant something.
But tonight felt different.
Not because of what they did.
Because of what they said.
His eyes opened again and he looked down at her.
Her lashes cast faint shadows across her cheekbones. Her lips were slightly parted, breath brushing warm against his chest. She looked… relaxed. Completely.
That was new.
Even asleep, yn was usually tense—wired from caffeine and adrenaline, her body half-braced for whatever new emergency might pull her from rest. But now… now, she was still. And Shota wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her this peaceful before.
His hand slipped from her hair, tracing slowly down the line of her spine. Not sexual, he’d done that plenty earlier. This was just… feeling her. Like he was mapping something fragile and didn’t want to leave a mark.
She shifted slightly, murmuring something in her sleep he couldn’t quite hear. Her face nuzzled further into his chest.
And that’s when he saw her hand again, splayed over his ribs. Unguarded and vulnerable.
He reached for it gently, cradling it on his own.
His thumb brushed over her knuckles, then down toward her ring finger.
And paused there.
Shota had never been a romantic. He wasn’t built for that kind of thing. Marriage had always sounded like too much noise, too many expectations. He didn’t think he had space for it in his life, and he didn't want to be someone else’s obligation.
He knew what it meant to be loved with conditions.
And worse, what it meant to love in spite of them.
But yn… she never asked him for more than he could give.
Never once made him choose.
And now, with her asleep on his chest, her hand in his, her ring finger bare beneath his thumb—he wondered, not for the first time, if maybe he could give her more.
Not because she asked.
Because he wanted to.
Not now. Not tomorrow. But someday.
When the world was a little quieter. When the nights weren’t quite so short.
He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to that ring finger. A soft, fleeting brush. Nothing she’d feel. But maybe something he’d remember.
She stirred faintly, but didn’t wake.
He exhaled through his nose, then tucked her hand to his chest. His other arm came around her, drawing her in closer, as if to shield her from the weight of everything outside this room.
He closed his eyes.
Sleep came easily now.
236 notes · View notes
sassybluebird · 4 days ago
Note
(TW for ED in case you want ignore this)
Can you do another dadzawa one where he finds out that his daughter hasn't been eating properly in weeks? She's like him who only ever eats when absolutely necessary but usually forgets and is stumbling out of training wondering "why do I feel so dizzy?" And maybe he finds out when she finally passes out during one of those team exercises/training (he sees her pass out through the screen so he can't do anything ohh👻).
Please and thank you! 🧡
Running On Empty
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FEATURING Shouta Aizawa x Reader (PLATONIC)
SUMMARY Your dad watches you pass out during training, an emotional heart to heart ensues.
CONTENT WARNINGS MENTIONS/DESCRIPTIONS OF PAST AND CURRENT EATING DISORDERS (guys, please please please make sure that you are in a good head space to read this. It is mostly fluff, but I don't want to trigger anyone, your mental health is more important!), minor character death, greif, loss
AUTHORS NOTE I hope this is what you were looking for anon! Please read at your own discretion and make sure you are also eating well and staying healthy <3
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Your legs were shaking again.
Not from nerves—those had burned out after the first week of combat training—but from something deeper, buried under the surface. Your vision danced at the edges. A soft, pulsing blur. Like heatwaves rising from pavement.
Stupid, you thought. You’re stronger than this.
The drill was almost over. Just a few more seconds. One more move.
You blinked the sweat out of your eyes and hurled yourself toward the final marker, body sluggish but obedient. Your quirk sparked at your fingertips—your aim true, your strike clean.
But something was off.
The moment your feet hit the ground, they didn’t stop moving. The earth spun beneath them. Your knees bent without permission. You pitched sideways, arms reaching for nothing as your chest clamped tight like it had forgotten how to breathe.
Why do I feel so—
Your thought never finished.
The world tilted, then blackened.
And your body hit the mat with a soft, sickening thud.
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Aizawa didn’t move at first.
In the observation booth, he stared at the feed like he’d forgotten how to blink. You were on your side, unmoving. The simulation paused itself automatically, but none of the other students dared approach. It was as if the whole training ground knew something had shifted, deeply and dangerously.
Then he moved.
“Training’s over,” he snapped into the comms. “Everyone out. Now.”
Panic had no place in his voice, but it stormed behind his eyes. He was through the booth door and halfway down the corridor before the last camera feed cut.
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You woke to the sound of beeping.
Steady. Calm. Rhythmic.
The ceiling above you was unfamiliar, but the blanket tucked under your arms was soft, and the air was sterile in a way that could only mean infirmary. You blinked once, the light stabbing into your skull like a hot needle. A groan slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it.
And then, there he was.
Your father. Eraserhead. Aizawa Shouta.
Sitting beside your bed like a shadow, arms crossed, one leg bouncing in that slow, agitated way that only happened when he was holding too much inside.
His hair was tied back. His scarf was draped over his shoulders like a loose bandage. He looked… wrecked. But not surprised.
You swallowed.
“Dad…?”
His eyes flicked to yours. “You’re awake.”
“Yeah.”
A long silence settled between you.
“I’m fine,” you added lamely.
“No, you’re not,” he said. Calm. Absolute. “You collapsed. In front of your entire class. You didn’t trip. You fainted. You hit the mat so hard I thought—”
He stopped.
Didn’t finish the sentence.
You stared at your hands. They felt like someone else’s. Heavy. Numb.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t just scare me.”
His voice cracked.
You looked up. The shadows under his eyes seemed deeper now. Like he hadn’t slept in days.
“You could’ve hit your head. You could’ve had a seizure. If your quirk had fired while you were unconscious—” He cut himself off again. “You weren’t just dehydrated. You were starving. Recovery Girl said your blood sugar was so low she’s surprised you were standing at all.”
He stood abruptly and turned away. Pacing. That was worse than yelling.
“You’ve been skipping meals.” It wasn’t a question.
You didn’t answer.
“How long?”
“…I don’t know.”
“Try.”
You stared at the blanket. “A few weeks. I think.”
Another silence.
You dared to look up again. His back was to you now, shoulders tense. One hand running through his hair.
“Why?”
Your throat tightened. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
You blinked hard. Your chest ached. Not just from the fall—but from everything. The shame, the exhaustion, the way your body felt like an old house ready to collapse.
“I just… forget sometimes,” you whispered. “And then it’s easier to keep forgetting.”
He turned slowly.
“And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Well,” he said, deadpan, “that worked out great.”
His tone wasn’t cruel, but it landed. Sharp enough that your lip trembled.
“I didn’t mean for it to get this bad.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, softer this time. “Be honest.”
You broke then.
The tears came hot and fast. “I just—didn’t want to be in my body,” you choked out. “It feels like everything is too loud all the time. Like I’m either invisible or in the way. And eating felt like admitting I existed. And I didn’t want to.”
Aizawa didn’t move for a long time.
Then he crossed the room and sat back on the edge of your bed.
And for the first time in weeks—months, maybe—you let him reach for you.
His arm slid gently behind your shoulders, drawing you into his side. You leaned into him, sobbing quietly, and he let you. No lectures. No scolding. Just a firm, protective presence that held the shape of you like he’d memorized it.
His chin rested atop your head.
“You know I used to do the same thing,” he said quietly.
You froze.
“After Oboro died. I didn’t eat for almost two months. Not properly. Not enough. I told myself I was just busy. That it wasn’t important. But I didn’t want to exist either. Not in a world without him.”
You looked up at him, shocked.
“Yamada noticed,” he said. “Started packing me meals. Dragged me out of the house. Sat with me while I stared at my food for an hour. I told him to stop. He didn’t.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat.
“I’m glad he didn’t.”
A small, dry smile. “Me too.”
Silence. Then:
“I never thought I’d have a kid who inherited that part of me,” he murmured. “But I did. And that means I have to do for you what he did for me.”
He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes.
“We’re eating together from now on. No arguments. You don’t have to eat a lot. Just enough. Just something. You sit at the table with me. We do it together.”
You nodded, eyes blurry.
“And if you’re too tired,” he added, “I’ll bring it to your room. I’ll sit on the floor if I have to. I’ll wait until you’re ready. But you’re not doing this alone. I won’t let you.”
“…Okay,” you whispered.
His hand brushed your hair back. “You scared the hell out of me,” he said.
“I know.”
“You don’t get to do that again.”
You managed a small smile through your tears. “You gonna put me on food patrol?”
“Damn right I am.”
You both laughed, quiet and shaken, but real.
That night, he made you miso soup from scratch in the teachers’ lounge.
It wasn’t perfect—it was a little salty, and the tofu had fallen apart—but he brought it to you in a thermos with a thermos cap as the bowl, sitting cross-legged beside your cot while you drank slowly.
When you finished, he handed you a warm rice ball with a tiny, crooked smiley face drawn on the seaweed.
“Mic’s idea,” he muttered, looking away.
You laughed softly.
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98 notes · View notes
sassybluebird · 7 days ago
Text
ᡣ𐭩 I'LL TAKE A QUIET LIFE
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: you didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did—you swear you really didn't. but when a certain someone decides to provoke you when you're trying to do the right thing… well. things take a turn for the worse. all you wanted was to peacefully borrow dazai for his birthday, whisking him away for a one-week getaway from the city and work, but you know how dazai is, and you couldn't risk any of his coworkers letting something slip. so, now, instead of a nice peaceful surprise and maintaining relations with the agency, you've had to resort to kidnapping. again. you'll make the most of it anyway.
(word count: 13.2k, fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, dazai-typical suicide mentions, past suicide attempts referenced, oral (male receiving), a bit of face fucking, unprotected sex, a little overstimulation, minor implied ptsd episode/grieving (reader))
AUTHOR'S NOTES: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY TO THE CUTEST BOY IN THE WHOLEEE WORLD WAHHHHHHH take a cute little post-canon fic for the big day<33 i am so proud of how this fic came out. before you read, i do want you guys to take note that there's a bit of a time jump—i have this fic set around 5-6 months after the ada-pm swap fic. i have a lot to say about this fic so maybeee come back up here at the end to read this because there are some spoilers for it ... this is ur last warning ....... ANYWAY, so as you all know (even though you have no faith in me) pmreader universe DOES have a happy ending. to get to that happy ending, the biggest hurdle that needs to be crossed is what was addressed in one of the more recent pmreader fics (i think i've seen this love before): dazai struggles to find a reason to live. i can't really see him marrying pmreader when he still feels so hopeless about himself/living, for HER sake more than his mind you, because he knows he's very fickle with life and doesn't want to marry her and then leave her behind. so i do think that this is a necessary step to the happy ending: dazai needs to acknowledge that he does see himself having a future with her & their relationship gives him a reason to wake up in the morning. now, this of course doesn't take away from his depression—i dont want any of you to misunderstand and i dont think you will, but i just want to make it clear that him acknowledging this doesn't take away from his depression. it's something that i headcanon dazai struggles with his whole life, but i think this is a necessary step to the happy ending. also on another note, pmreader !!! i hope her whole thing doesn't feel like it comes out of the blue. once they get together again at age 22, i hc that the first few months of their relationship are so chaotic that neither of them can fully come to terms with their situation, and once she does, she really does begin to doubt things. because of course she loves him, and she wants him to feel like he's fulfilled odasaku's last request so he can feel better about himself, but she starts to feel like her presence in his life might be holding him back. so those lingering doubts + her doing something that reminds her of a past she can't remember puts her in a rlly vulnerable space. AND I THINK I CONVEYED IT WELL, but i just like explaining. ANYWAY if you guys got this far, i love you, thank u for entertaining my rambly thoughts
Dazai is over three hours late to work, but in his defense, it’s his birthday, and not even Kunikida is cruel enough to scold Dazai on his birthday. Still, he very much expects dirty looks from the man, and maybe a few loud comments about his terrible work ethic, but that’s just Kunikida. If he wasn’t giving Dazai dirty looks and making loud comments, Dazai would be concerned.
Which is why when he steps into the office at half past twelve and is met with dead silence, Dazai knows something is wrong. He shuts the door quietly behind him and looks around warily, trying to figure out what’s going on. There’s no sign of forced entry or any fighting—there’s an untouched stack of papers in the waiting area that he assumes are from a new client, and a hot coffee still steaming next to it. 
It’s all so unassuming, it’s what he expects coming into work, but it’s too quiet. He can’t hear Naomi bothering Tanizaki, he can’t hear Yosano complaining about the stick up Kunikida’s ass or Kunikida promptly scolding her for her language, he can’t hear Kyouka, Kenji, and Atsushi chatting away whenever Kunikida is pulled away by something. There’s no furious typing from the clerks as they fix all of the mistakes in the reports being filed, and there’s no sighing when they think they finish, only to realize that there’s another report, likely one of Dazai’s, waiting for them to edit.
It’s too quiet, and that’s how Dazai knows something is seriously wrong.
When he steps into the office, he almost expects nobody to be there—maybe they were all called out to some emergency mission, and Dazai is going to have to race to catch up with them. 
What he doesn’t expect is finding his coworkers all sitting stiffly and silently in their seats, and a heavy Port Mafia presence all over the room. Hirotsu is leaning against the far back wall, a cigarette dangling between his lips, Gin is hanging over Haruno, carelessly playing with one of her knives, and Tachihara is trying to convince Atsushi to play a game of cards with him as if Akutagawa isn’t looming right behind him. 
If it were just the Black Lizards, Dazai thinks that they’d probably fight back, but naturally, the red-headed slug is here too, leaning up against the wall with Hirotsu, arms crossed and a bored expression on his face. Dazai’s eyes narrow when Chuuya gives him a smirk that’s far too smug, but the insult on his lips dies when his eyes land on the last person in the room.
You’re sitting on top of his desk, a pretty smile on your lips and a glitter in your eyes that promises no good. You look beautiful, and Dazai’s chest feels all warm and fuzzy—he hasn’t seen you in a few weeks now because you’ve been abroad dealing with pressure from some foreign organizations, and he didn’t think you’d be back for his birthday. He’s so enamored by the sight of you that he almost doesn’t catch the glint of metal on your lap or the way Kunikida is sitting tense at his desk next to where you’re lounging.
“Hey,” you say easily, like there isn’t a gun in your lap pointed at his coworker, safety off, finger firm on the trigger, ready to pull it at a moment’s notice. “Happy birthday.”
“What-” Dazai starts to say, baffled, but flinches when he feels something prick his neck, head snapping to the side to focus on a vaguely familiar figure now standing at his side—your new subordinate, Dazai can’t remember his name. 
Whatever he injected Dazai with works fast, because he’s instantly dizzy, his gaze blurring, and his head all woozy. Just as his knees start to give out, he feels the kid grab under his arms to make sure he doesn’t hit the ground, and he hears you say proudly: “This is a kidnapping.”
---------
In your defense, you really did try to talk things out peacefully with the Armed Detective Agency before resorting to this. 
You weren’t planning on kidnapping Dazai, but you knew he probably didn’t call out of work, and the last thing you needed was to be scolded by Mori for causing any more tension between the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia if they realized that you were the reason Dazai didn’t show up to work. 
Things have been rocky on both sides since the failed transfer—the Agency because the Port Mafia dared to take one of their own, and the Port Mafia because the Agency reneged on their deal and took their member back—but you can’t afford for things to be rocky when things are still incredibly unstable. So instead of just picking up Dazai and leaving for a few days and possibly pissing off the Agency for not giving them any forewarning, you decided to do the right thing and tell them before disappearing with one of their detectives.
Except the President of the Agency isn’t in town. So, you were stuck dealing with that bullheaded blonde who clearly still holds a grudge over the incident with Pushkin and he decided to act on his grudge by making your life as difficult as possible. 
All too smugly, he refused to give Dazai leave for the week because they have an emergency case that needs all hands on deck, and when you offered up Klaus to replace him, much to the boy’s abject horror, he refused. Then you offered up Klaus and Akutagawa, and he still refused. You even proposed giving them Chuuya for the week, and that wasn’t enough, so that’s when you realized he was just being difficult to be petty.
And you doubt the man actually would’ve forced Dazai to miss out on time with you on his birthday, Dazai is his friend and he’s not that much of an asshole. He probably would've okay'd it as soon as Dazai showed up to the office, but he was clearly just trying to be a pain in your ass. And well, you didn’t take that kindly, obviously, so all thoughts of preserving the fragile peace went out the window as you quite promptly demanded all hands on deck for a possible conflict because you were not going to let Kunikida Doppo keep that smug expression on his face for a second longer.
Was Chuuya happy about it? No, you could tell when he gave you a side eye after he showed up, but you knew he wasn’t going to sit by and let the Agency get one over you. So, he was content to stand there as a looming threat, because you were pretty sure that the Black Lizards weren’t going to be enough to scare the Agency into backing down, but the threat of Nakahara Chuuya splattering one of their own against the wall so that there was nothing left for their doctor to revive was more than enough to keep them down.
The Black Lizards and Akutagawa didn’t have the authority to question your orders, and Klaus was more than willing to spill blood at any given moment, so the only thing you have left to worry about is Mori, and you’ll deal with that once you get back from your getaway with Dazai. If Chuuya’s feeling nice, he’ll probably handle it for you, but you don’t think he’s pleased with how you offered him up like a bargaining chip to the Agency.
Your lips curve up into a smile when Klaus tosses Dazai over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Was drugging him unnecessary? Probably, but you didn’t want to deal with his smug ass making comments about the lengths you go to so that you can steal him away for the week the whole way up to the house you and Chuuya bought on the coastline of Hokkaido. It wasn’t just for Dazai—it was your own pride on the line too, it was the principle.
As you motion for Klaus to bring Dazai out to the car, you rise to your feet and look down at Kunikida. You place your gun under his chin to tilt his head up so that he’s looking up at you; he swallows thickly as he glances down at where your finger is still resting on the trigger, throat bobbing before he glowers at you. You give him a too-sweet smile.
“Thank you for your cooperation,” you say, very pleased with yourself. You look back at Chuuya, signalling him to come with you as you put your gun away and start to make your way out of the Agency. You lift your hand in a lazy wave before saying, “I’ll bring him back in a few days.” 
It’s only when the door to the Agency shuts behind you that he finally speaks to you, hands shoved in his pockets as he says dryly, “Mori specifically told us not to antagonize the Agency over the next few weeks.”
“The Agency antagonized me,” you reply airily. “It would’ve been a terrible look for us if we let them walk all over us and come out unscathed. There are already too many rumors circulating in the East about us being weak after the Guild Incident, and now, Dostoevsky, the failed transfer, and the Clocktower—preserving our reputation is more important than relations with the Agency.”
Chuuya barks out a laugh. “You can twist anything to fit your narrative, can't you? If you weren’t an executive, you’d make a great lawyer.”
You raise your eyebrows, unfazed. “It’s not twisting if it’s the truth.”
He scoffs, muttering something under his breath before shaking his head as he holds the door to the cafe open for you. “Right. Next time you decide to ‘preserve our reputation’ through a diplomatic disaster, at least give me a damn warning first.”
“There’s no fun in that,” you say with an easy smile. “Will you deal with Mori while I’m gone?” 
“You’re shameless,” Chuuya tells you flatly. “No, I’m not dealing with Mori. You just tried to pawn me off to the Agency like a fucking mule. You can deal with him.”
“Please.” You flutter your eyelashes at him, pushing your lip out in a pout that has him rolling his eyes. You scowl and then offer, “I’ll take over your mission in Sapporo when I get back.”
“Deal,” Chuuya agrees immediately, reaching out to open the car door for you. You slide inside, and he shuts the door behind you; you immediately roll the window down. He gives you a sharp smile, resting his arms on the car door and leaning in. “I would’ve dealt with him either way.”
“I know because you’re a sucker,” you reply, raising your eyebrows and giving him an equally sharp smile. “I just thought I’d be nice and offer you something in return.”
Chuuya clicks his tongue sharply as he leans back. He stands up straight and gives you a side eye. “Bitch,” he mutters, but there’s a fond smile on his lips. “Enjoy your week with that bastard, you’re gonna be in for hell with Mori once you get back.”
“You don’t need to remind me,” you say dryly, turning to the side as Klaus opens the door to toss Dazai into the car. Literally. “Jesus, Klaus, be a bit more careful with him.”
“No.” Klaus says and then sneers down at Dazai before slamming the door shut behind him.
You shake your head and adjust Dazai into a more comfortable position. He should be out for at least two or three hours—you aren’t quite sure, he’s always had a freaky metabolism, but you don’t know if it’s gotten faster or slower in the four years he was gone. You rest his head in your lap, brushing his hair out of his face. You’ve missed him a lot; you’ve barely been able to see him at all the past few weeks because you’ve been so busy, and your chest aches just at the sight of him in your lap. You turn your gaze back up to the window to find Chuuya staring at you in disgust. Klaus is there too, scowling.
“What is your problem with him?” you ask the boy, giving him a weird look. “You’ve hardly even met him before now.”
“I don’t like him,” Klaus replies, raising his chin.
You stare at him in disbelief, but Klaus only huffs and stalks off, likely to cause chaos elsewhere. Chuuya snorts in amusement, trying to muffle a laugh as he turns his face away. You roll your eyes and fling your hand up dismissively. Klaus has always had something up his ass about Dazai, you never understood why. You’ve learned better than to question what runs through that boy’s head.
“You should get going,” Chuuya says, stepping back from the window. “The jet’s waiting for you.”
“Right,” you agree, stretching your arms and then resting your hand on Dazai’s forehead, fingers carding absently through his hair. “Thanks, Chuuya.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replies dryly, turning his back to the car to walk over to where he’d parked his motorcycle. He lifts his hand up in a lazy wave. “See you next week.”
“See you next week.”
---------
Dazai wakes up to the whole world shaking. His heart rate spikes as he shoots up, disoriented and confused. His hand flies to his head, blinking hard to try to clear his blurry vision. He doesn’t even really remember what happened. He remembers waking up late for work and feeling smug because Kunikida couldn’t scold him because it’s his birthday, and he remembers…
Oh.
You.
Dazai glances around, trying to figure out where the hell he is. He’s laying on a white couch in a small room… or, this isn’t a room, is it? There’s a window next to him. Dazai squints at the sudden bright light that blinds him, but he shifts closer to the window so he can look out of it.
He is in the air.
Dazai blanches when he realizes that he’s in a plane. It must be close to landing because the ground is much closer than he expected. He doesn’t recognize the area—there doesn’t seem to be any big cities nearby, only forests and the ocean, so he’s not really sure where you’re bringing him.
He pushes himself out of his seat, stumbling a bit before he catches himself. Whatever you injected him with was strong, but at least now he has something he can whine and complain about. Maybe he’ll be able to convince you to make him the sweet buns you tried baking a few times back when you two were teenagers. You never liked the way they came out, but Dazai had been obsessed with them and was thoroughly upset when you refused to make them every time he asked. 
He salivates a bit at the thought and decides to get a head start on his guilt tripping, making his way over to where you’re sitting. A smile unconsciously pulls at his lips when he sees you sitting a few seats away. Your back is facing him, but he can see you’re focused on your computer, typing furiously with earbuds plugged in your ears. He stumbles once more before kneeling on the seat behind yours, draping himself lazily over the back of it to rest his chin on the top of your head.
His lips part to make a complaint when he pauses, gaze focusing on what exactly it is that you’re doing on your laptop.
Are you on a… video call?
Dazai stares at the screen blankly, recognizing the several faces staring right back at him. Leo Tolstoy looks unbearably amused when he sees Dazai in the frame of the camera, hiding a smile with his hand. An older man who Dazai realizes is Carlo Goldoni raises his eyebrows, lips twitching. Mishima Yukio casually rubs at his lips, pretending he’s not smiling. There are three others, two men and a woman who Dazai doesn’t recognize—they must be new allies of the Port Mafia.
Well, Dazai thinks awkwardly, staring at the screen as he realizes that he just interrupted a meeting between you and several mob bosses. He doesn’t bother moving now, they’ve already seen him, and you don’t seem bothered, considering you don’t immediately shove his face out of view of the camera.
“I’ll contact you all when I’m available again to speak next week,” you say after a moment. “Thank you for meeting.”
You exit the call without waiting for them to answer, taking out the earbuds from your ears. Dazai lifts his chin when he feels you turning your head to look up at him. He gives you a sheepish smile. 
“Did I interrupt?” he asks quietly. 
“No,” you reply. “We’re almost here anyway.”
Dazai shuffles around to sit across from you, resting his arms on the table and his head on top of them. He looks up at you, eyes still a bit droopy from whatever you drugged him with. Your lips curl up into a soft smile, and warmth spreads through Dazai’s chest at the sight of it. His cheeks heat up, so he hides them in his arms and peeks up at you. The smile on your lips becomes a bit fonder, you place your arms on the table, mimicking him, and then rest your head down like he did, peeking up at him the same way as he is at you.
It’s a simple action. A nothing action, really. You’re just mimicking him. Teasing him for being flustered. He doesn’t know why his chest suddenly feels like it's about to cave in. He doesn’t know why he suddenly wants to cry. He doesn’t know why he’s so suddenly and violently reminded of how much he loves you. 
Maybe it’s just because he’s missed you these past few weeks.
“Happy birthday,” you whisper. 
A lump that’s shaped suspiciously like his heart forms in his throat as he looks up at you. He hides his smile behind his arms and says quietly, “You kidnapped me.” Then adds belatedly, “Again.”
“I did,” you agree, eyes glittering with amusement. “It’s a bit of a tradition now, don’t you think?”
“Where are we going?” he asks curiously, hand creeping forward to try to grab yours. He pokes your arm twice; you raise your eyebrows before realizing what he wants and putting your hand in his. Dazai’s fingers slide to your wrist to press against your pulse, feeling the familiar, even thrums and matching his own heartrate to to them.
“To a foreign countryside so I can kill you and dump your body,” you say without pause.
Dazai snorts, lifting your hand to his lips so he can kiss your palm, lashes fluttering shut when your fingers brush over his cheekbone. He says dreamily, “A woman after my own heart.” 
“You’re such a freak,” you say fondly.
“Your freak,” he corrects with a flirty smile before setting your joined hands back down on the table. “I can’t believe you kidnapped me again. And drugged me. I still feel a bit woozy, y’know? How are you going to make it up to me?” 
“A one week escape from work isn’t enough?” you ask dryly.
“Nope,” he agrees, popping the ‘p’. “How about you make me those sweet buns you used to make this week? I haven’t had them in ages, I miss them.”
You squint at him, leaning back in your seat but leaving your hand in his. “Maritozzi?” you ask, and Dazai faintly recognizes the name from back then, so he nods. “What flavor?” 
Dazai pauses and then asks, “Strawberry? Or lemon?” 
“Both?” you offer.
His eyes widen slightly. He didn’t expect you to give in so quickly. Back when you guys were teenagers, he’d whine and ask you to make them and it would turn into a six hour argument of him insisting that he deserves them and you refusing him. 
“That was easier than I expected,” he admits sheepishly. 
“It’s your birthday,” you say like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Again, Dazai’s heart flutters, and he squeezes your hand gently. “The first one we’ve celebrated together in four years. We can stop to get the ingredients on the way to the house.”
The house. Where is it that you’re taking him? Dazai’s mind bounces around with potential answers—far enough that you had to take him on a plane, but not so far that he’s just woken up and its already begun its descent. Dazai has a quick metabolism and a high tolerance for most drugs. You know this and probably would’ve accounted for it, but there’s a large margin of error. You don’t know if his metabolism has gotten quicker or slower over the years apart, and you don’t know if his tolerance has weakened, so you probably didn’t want to risk pushing the dosage anymore than you would’ve four years ago.
Which probably puts the time at… four hours after you injected him? Which would make sense from the position of the sun in the sky. Probably took forty minutes from injection to take off between getting him here and getting everything settled. So a three hour flight? About? Where would that leave you guys? Seoul? No, it couldn’t be—there were no cities anywhere in sight. One of the northern islands then?
“You didn’t answer my question,” he whines. “Where are we going?” 
You hesitate for a moment like you don’t want to tell him, but he pouts and widens his eyes in the way that always makes you give in. You roll your eyes at him exagerratedly, and he gives you a sweet smile in response.
“A property up in Hokkaido,” you finally say. Dazai is smug, realizing his deductions were right, until you continue speaking. “It’s near a small village. Pretty. Me and Chuuya scoped it out and bought it a couple of months ago just to have.”
What. Dazai stares at you blankly, and you tilt your head to the side in confusion, unsure why he suddenly closed off. He narrows his eyes at you, willing away the bitterness that suddenly swells in his chest. It’s sharp and sour, and he definitely doesn’t like it, but when he tries to push it away, it only intensifies. 
“You bought property with Chuuya,” he asks flatly. “You’re taking me to a property that you bought with the slug.”
You roll your eyes. “Stop that,” you say immediately. “I’m taking you to a property that I scoped out because I wanted to bring you here. Chuuya jumped on and offered to pay for half because he wanted a place to escape to outside the city.”
Dazai squints at you, and you raise your eyebrows challengingly. He immediately huffs and looks away, stomach lurching when the plane begins the final part of the descent to the ground. He decides to change the subject instead of pressing, maybe he’ll whine about it some more later.
“So,” he says slowly, voice dropping just enough to catch your attention from the way you tilt your head to the side. “You’ve kidnapped me away from the Agency… to bring me to a house in the middle of nowhere… and decided not to tell me about it until now…”
You hum in response, eyes narrowing, and Dazai leans closer over the table separating the two of you, lips curling up into a lecherous smirk that has you rolling your eyes. You already know what’s coming, but you must let him have his fun on his birthday.
“And we’ll be there for… how long again?”
You glance at him from the corner of your eye, seemingly intent on staring out the window. “A week.”
Dazai whistles, leaning back in his seat again. His eyes rove over you—it's been a hot minute since the two of you have been able to do anything intimate. He hasn’t even seen you in a few weeks. And before that, most days, you’re either too exhausted or he’s too in his own head about things to get in the mood. But this… Seven days. No work. No people interrupting. No reason to spiral in his own head. His lips unconsciously pull into another small smile, teeth scraping his tongue as his gaze lingers on the top few buttons of your dress shirt—they’re undone, just low enough for him to see a hint of…
You clear your throat. Dazai’s gaze snaps back up to your face. He gives you an innocent smile that makes you roll your eyes at him again. 
“Pervert,” you accuse.
“Yeah,” Dazai breaths out, voice a bit raspy as he lifts your hand back to his lips. He kisses your knuckles and then the inside of your wrist, gaze flickering back up to your eyes. “I’m going to take advantage of this week.”
The corner of your mouth twitches like you’re fighting off a smile. “Oh, I counted on it.”
Dazai lets go of your wrist when the plane lands. He watches you tuck your hand back into your lap, pulling your phone out to shoot a text to someone before sliding it back into your pocket. His eyes stay on you as the plane rolls to a stop, watching the way the sunlight dances across your cheekbones. You look beautiful—always do—but you’ll look more beautiful tonight when he has you underneath him.
“Stop looking at me like that,” you tell him flatly as you rise to your feet. Dazai follows after you, standing too close, and when he leans down to ghost his lips to your neck, you swat at his head, but he immediately dodges and then drapes himself over your shoulders obnoxiously. “Osamu.”
Dazai lets his full body weight rest on you. You stumble forward, trying to walk toward the exit of the plane, but fail miserably because you’re dragging his dead weight with you. His lips curl up into a smile when he hears your frustrated groan, arms tightening around you.
“Get off of me, you freak,” you complain. “Walk on your own.”
“But I’m still so woozy,” he sighs dramatically. “You drugged me, take accountability and carry me to the car before I pass out and hit my head and die on my birthday. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
He pouts against your skin, nipping your neck for a second before resting his forehead in the crook of it, right next to the small mark he just left. Vision obscured, he misses the way you motion for the pilot, who had come out to lower the steps to the ground, to grab him until he feels two hands around his waist lifting him off the ground. Dazai yelps and flails, trying to figure out what exactly just happened, and blanches when he realizes he’s being held princess style by a grown man.
“Watanabe-san, please make sure Osamu makes it down the steps safely. We wouldn’t want him to pass out and hit his head and die on his birthday, would we?” you say with a sweet smile.
“Of course not, hime,” the man replies gruffly. 
Mortified, Dazai tries to worm out of the man’s arms, but his grip is too tight. He looks at you, betrayed, but you’re only fighting giggles as you make your way over to the car waiting on the tarmac, leaving him in the arms of this man.
By the time he makes it to the sleek black car waiting for the two of you, Dazai’s face is flaming red. The moment he’s placed on the ground, he throws himself into the car and turns his back to you. You laugh and climb in after him, pressing your lips to his shoulder.
“I hate you,” he whines. 
“I love you too.”
---------
Dazai naps once the two of you get to the house, so you focus on getting everything together to make the maritozzi in the morning. You don’t really like making it—the pastries make you upset. Or, well, it’s not the pastries that make you upset, but the fact that every time you make them, you get this strange, aching feeling in your chest—a sense of deja vu so strong that it nearly brings you to your knees.
Your hands always remember what to do, even when your mind doesn’t. You knead the dough with a practiced ease that doesn’t feel like it belongs to you. You know exactly how much flour to dust on the board, how warm the milk should be, how to press your thumb into the dough to check if it’s ready. 
It’s muscle memory, maybe.
You sigh as you rest your hands on the kitchen counter. You plan to start baking in the morning, but you already feel that… odd feeling spreading through you, both sharp and tender at the same time. A homesickness for a place you can’t name. Grief for people you don’t remember.  It happens every time: a flicker of something just out of reach. A child’s gleeful laugh, a pair of warm hands guiding yours, a whispered promise that isn’t kept.
You lay your head in your arms for a moment, eyes sliding shut. You can never get the maritozzi right, regardless of how hard you try. You don’t know what you’re doing wrong, or even what’s wrong with them at all, but you know it’s not right. You hate making them. Each time, you can’t help the hope that swells in your chest that maybe this time will be different. Maybe you’ll get it right. 
Each time you’re disappointed. 
And yet, here you are again trying.
The things you do for love.
You feel a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind, hands slipping beneath your shirt. Dazai drapes himself over your back, pinning you to the counter. He sighs softly as he kisses the nape of your neck and your shoulder before burying his face in the crook of your neck. 
“Good morning, sleepy head,” you whisper softly, a smile pulling on your lips as you lift a hand to rest it on the top of his head. You feel his heartbeat thrumming against your back, and his fingers tracing absent patterns on your stomach. “You were tired.”
“You’ve been away for a few weeks,” he murmurs, voice muffled against your neck. You feel him yawn before nuzzling his face against your skin, eyes sliding shut. “I wasn’t sleeping well.”
“My apologies,” you say with faux remorse. “How dare I go away for work and mess up your sleeping schedule.”
He hums in agreement. “A crime worthy of capital punishment, honestly,” he says, and you feel him smile softly, kissing your neck again. You let out a breathy sigh and instinctively tilt your head to the side to give him more room. “I had to sleep without my favorite pillow. You know, the soft, warm, breathing one that makes cute little noises when I kiss her neck.”
“Oh, shut up,” you scowl, but the expression quickly fades when you feel him trailing slow kisses up your neck, deliberately lingering just below your ear.
“How are you ever going to make it up to me?” he whispers playfully before he nips your skin. 
You ignore his noise of complaint when you shift in his arms so that you can face him, resting your hands on his hips as you look up at him through your lashes. You give him a sweet smile before saying, “I can think of a few ways.”
“Oh yeah,” Dazai drawls, lips curling up into a lazy smirk as his fingers slip beneath the hem of your shirt again. “Is this the part where you beg for forgiveness?”
“Oh?” you hum, leaning in to ghost your lips against his jaw, kissing slowly to his ear as you murmur, “You want me to beg?”
He lets out a soft groan when you nip his skin. “I want you to convince me you’re sorry for leaving me to suffer all alone,” he corrects, breathing a little heavier when you start to kiss down the column of his throat. His voice catches over his words as you slide down the sweatpants he changed into and lower yourself to your knees in front of him. “Oh, fuck.”
“You poor thing,” you say softly, leaning in to press a kiss to his hip bone. “All alone for weeks. I bet you were just aching without me.”
“I—” His voice breaks into a groan as your mouth trails lower down the line of his ‘v’, lashes fluttering as he rests his hands back onto the counter and glances up at the ceiling before looking back down at you. His pupils are blown wide, eyes darker than you’ve ever seen them before. “You have no idea.”
“I think I have an idea,” you say more to yourself than to him, a teasing smile playing at your lips as you finally lift your hand to stroke his leaky cock. His hips jerk instinctively, he twitches in your hand like he’s already on the verge of finishing, and you lift your gaze. His chest is heaving, pink lips swollen and parted, head tilted back as he looks up at the ceiling again, desperately trying to gain control of himself.
God, you love him. You’ve loved him for years, since you were sixteen, even if you only started acknowledging the depths of your feelings for him when you were eighteen. He was always so flighty and unpredictable, you never expected one day he’d be yours the way he is now. You’ll never let him go now. You’ve missed him these past few weeks apart much more than you realized. 
“I would do terrible things for you, Osamu,” you tell him softly, running your thumb over his tip just so you can hear the way he keens. “You’re mine.”
“Yours,” he pants. You’re not even sure if he fully hears what you say, already lost in the haze of pleasure, and you don’t really care. “Please.”
You don’t look away from him for a second as you take his tip into your mouth, flattening your tongue against his slit to lap up all of the precum that had beaded there. He lets out a ragged groan, but you can’t see his face, so you lift your hand to grab one of his and tug to get his attention.
His head falls forward, bangs falling in his eyes as he looks down at you. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he breathes heavily, gaze entirely unfocused as need quickly fogs and dismantles the cogs of his quick brain. Having gotten what you wanted, you try to slip your hand free to hold his hips again, but his grip on your hand tightens, refusing to let go.
You hum softly, entwining your fingers with his instead as you slowly take him deeper into your mouth. His eyes half-roll back when his tip hits the back of your throat and your tongue presses against the vein on the underside of his cock. He almost lets his head fall back again, but your grip on his hand keeps him grounded to you. Even as fucked out as he is with his cock deep down your throat and your nails tracing patterns on his inner thighs, he manages to keep his gaze mostly locked to yours.
“I—haaah, fuck—you feel s’good,” he slurs, free hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. He lets you set the pace, and you pick a slow and steady one that you know kills him. You want to see how long he can last before he snaps. “I—so many nights…”
His sentences are garbled and mostly unintelligible. It makes you happy—you’re glad he lets his brain shut off when he’s with you like this. He used to try so hard to maintain control that you could tell it was stressing him out when he was supposed to be feeling good, but he doesn’t bother with the pretenses anymore, letting everything crumble away the moment he has you in bed with him. Or, in this case, in the middle of the kitchen. 
You can’t respond, so you resign to letting out a soft hum of acknowledgment; the vibrations make him whimper, cock twitching in your mouth as he gnaws on his bottom lip, desperately trying not to cum so quickly. You can feel his thighs tense beneath your touch as holds himself back from fucking your face.
Your gaze traces his face, catching sight of the red flush of his cheeks, his wet lips, the way his expression is all twisted—he’s so pretty, so you decide to have a bit of mercy on him. 
Plus, it is still his birthday after all.
You lift your hand to tap his hip twice, signaling to him that he can take control if he wants, and the effect is immediate. His eyes snap open fully, glassy and wild with need, and then he moves. 
His grip on your hand tightens just a bit, and the hand on the back of your head slips down to cup your jaw, thumb brushing the corner of your lips, tracing how they’re stretched around his cock. He rocks his hips forward once—slowly, like he’s testing the waters, worried that you might change your mind, but you stay still and pliant, looking up at him through your lashes imploringly.
“Fuck,” he breathes out again. “Love you. So good to me. Always been so good to me.”
He thrusts again, this time deeper, more sure of himself, and you relax your throat for him, letting him set the rhythm. It's not rough or frantic—not yet—just a slow, needy grind of someone who’s waited for this too long. His hand slides back to cup the back of your head as he starts to pick up the pace; you gag a little on his cock, eyes tearing up, but you squeeze his hand encouragingly, telling him silently to continue. To give you more. 
He does.
He rolls his hips forward sharply, cock thrusting deeper, harder, and you take it, eyes fluttering shut for just a second as your throat stretches around him. His thighs tremble under your hands, breath ragged as he fucks your throat. The noises in the kitchen—his low groans, the way you’re choking on his cock, each wet, sloppy thrust into your mouth—it makes your head all foggy, heat pooling in your lower stomach. 
His free hand comes back to your jaw, thumb swiping at the drool spilling from the corner of your mouth before he squeezes your cheeks gently to feel his cock sliding in and out of your mouth. Your jaw aches, your throat burns, and still, you stay there, tears spilling freely down your cheeks, because he’s close. You can feel it. His thigh tenses under your palm, his fingers tighten around yours, his rhythm stutters and takes a more erratic turn, and his voice breaks on your name, groans shifting into pitched moans.
“Haah,” he gasps, hips jerking. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, please, please, baby, I—I’m gonna—”
Your nose is flush to his pubic hair as he cums deep down your throat—his cum tastes so familiar, too salty, after all of these years, he still hasn’t taken your advice of a better diet. Hazily, you remind yourself to scold him about it later, but right now, you’re too focused on trying not to choke over him, swallowing the copious amounts of cum he spilled into your mouth as he trembles above you violently, still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm.
When he finally pulls out, he drops to his knees in front of you, hands cupping your cheeks as he leans in, kissing you deeply. He kisses you like he’s trying to devour you—claim you, even, like he hasn’t already, like you haven’t been his since the moment the two of you met. His breath is uneven, chest heaving, and there’s a flicker of something wild in his eyes as he pulls back to look at you, eyes roving over you. His eyes slide shut again as he rests his forehead against yours.
“You’re everything,” he whispers, hands sliding down to your sides as he ghosts his lips against yours. “God, you’re everything. You have no idea what you do to me.” 
You lift your hands to cup his cheeks, pressing your lips to his again. You toy with the tips of his hair as your lips slide messily against his, letting out a soft moan when his hand slides to the small of your back, pulling your body flush to his. His hands dip lower, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your cotton shorts, and you smile against his lips. 
“I’m not fucking you on the kitchen floor,” you say, leaning back slightly. He chases your lips to kiss you again, a hazy smile on his lips as he gives you a half-lidded look.
“It would be hot though,” he murmurs, nipping at your bottom lip before letting out a low groan against your skin, dragging his lips from your jaw to your ear. You let out a shaky breath when his fingers slide down to your panties, pressing his finger down on your clit through thin silk and moaning again. “Have you face down, nails clawing against the tile, pinned between me and the floor—nowhere to go, can only take it.”
“Jesus, Osamu,” you say shakily, eyes sliding shut as his fingers curl into your hair, pulling your head back so he can kiss down your neck, kisses wet and lingering as he sucks at your skin. He traces slow circles around your clit, and your grip on his shoulders tightens as you try to ground yourself. “Not the kitchen floor.”
“Such a bore,” he complains. “Ruining my fun. It’s still my birthday, y’know?”
Before you can retort, Dazai’s hands drop to your thighs, and you yelp as he rises to his feet, bringing you with him. Sometimes you forget how strong Dazai is—it’s easy when he constantly acts like he’s helpless and drowns himself in long jackets and loose clothes. He used to be able to go blow-for-blow with Chuuya in combat, and although you know damn well he hasn’t kept up his training, you can feel the lean muscles of his biceps beneath his sweatshirt.
Your grip tightens on them; he’s still mouthing at your neck as he carries you into the back bedroom. You whisper softly, “You are so…”
When you don’t finish, Dazai nips your neck playfully and finishes, “Handsome? Charming? The image of your deepest, darkest desires?” 
Usually, you would roll your eyes at him, but this time, you gasp, “Yeah. Yeah, you are.”
He nudges the door open with his foot before kicking it shut. He sets you down gently on the bed, pushing you back until your back is flat and hovering above you to steal another kiss. This one is slow and lazy as he settles above you on his elbows, tongue running along your bottom lip, and fingers dragging over your ribs reverently. You think you could kiss him forever and never get sick of it.
When he finally pulls back, it’s only by an inch, his eyes are half-lidded, and his breath is warm against your lips as he looks down at you. 
“Still with me?” he murmurs, thumb circling your hip bone.
“Always,” you answer quietly.
His eyes soften as he looks down at you, lifting his hand from your hip so he can cup the side of your face. You lean into his touch, lashes fluttering shut momentarily as you bask in the familiar warmth of his skin. 
“Thank you,” he whispers.
You give him a hazy smile as you look back up at him. “For what?” you ask, voice teasing, but Dazai’s smile only softens even more. He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, and you nip at it playfully.
“Everything.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to question him, leaning down to press his lips to yours again. This kiss is chaster than the last, like he just wants to savor in the taste of you rather than outright devour you. His thumb traces soft circles over your cheek, and his other hand slides down your body to your thigh, hiking your leg over his waist so he can slot his hips between your legs.
He kisses you and holds you so gently that you forget to breathe until your lungs start burning. When you push at his shoulder to get some air, he immediately leans down to keep kissing your neck, sliding your shirt up, and tapping you to beckon you to lift your shoulders so he can pull it off. 
Once he has it off and flings it to the side, he leans back to let his eyes roam your body. His pupils are blown wide, and his fingers are a bit shaky; he slides them down your body, tracing your figure like he’s worshiping it. 
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers more to himself than to you. “Divine. The kind of beauty that drives saints to sin and kings to kneel. You make the stars look dim, and the heavens seem dull. I still can’t believe you’re mine. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for you.”
“My god, Dazai,” you laugh, face heating up at his words. “A bit over the top with the poetry tonight, aren’t you?”
“Not nearly,” he says, voice low and serious as his gaze lifts back to your face. He repeats softly, “No, not nearly.”
Your throat swells as you look up at him, and he runs his knuckles across your cheek before trailing his fingers down your face. His thumb presses heavily against your bottom lip, and you give him a kittish smile before taking it into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the digit as you look up at him through your lashes.
His breath catches, and you hum around his finger when he presses down slightly on your tongue, rolling your hips up to grind against his clothed cock. He murmurs, voice strained, “You drive me insane.”
“Oh yeah?” you press, voice breathy. “Prove it?” 
He kisses slowly to your collarbone, making sure to leave marks on his way down. “Gladly,” he rasps, swiping his tongue along your collarbone before biting over the bone lightly. 
“You’re going to leave so many marks,” you complain, breath hitching when he slowly rocks his hips against yours. He’s already hard again; you can feel him through the thin material of your panties, and you want him desperately. Your walls clench around nothing, and the heat pooling in your stomach has your thighs trembling. “Shit, Osamu, will you just—”
“Good thing I have you to myself all week,” he croons, a smug smirk on his lips as he kisses down your chest to the swell of your breasts. He lets out a shaky puff of air as he pulls back just a bit to get an eyeful of your tits before his lips wrap around your nipple. He moans against you as he rolls it between his teeth, lifting his free hand to grope your other breast. Your back arches up as you press yourself into his touch, a keen escaping your lips. “Gonna mark you up all over, you won’t even have to hide them.”
“Please,” you gasp, head falling back against the pillows. “Please, Osamu, I—”
You choke over your words when you feel him slide your panties down your legs. He pulls his lips off your nipple with a pop before trailing wet kisses back up your chest until his face is hovering above yours. His thumb slips from your mouth so that he can pinch your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look him in the eye.
“Please, what?” he hums insufferably. “C’mon, baby, use your words.”
“You’re so—” You start to reply irritably, only to whimper when he rolls his hips again.
“So what?” he presses, giving you a cocky smile as he taps your cheek twice to get your attention again. “What am I? You’re so cute, I’ve barely done anything, and you’re already so close to finishing.”
“I hate you. I—haaaah, shit—” you moan, but your lashes flutter shut as Dazai slides his fingers between your wet folds. “Osamu—”
He lets out a ragged breath, hot against your skin. “Shit, baby, you’re drenched,” he groans. “All this just from letting me fuck your face? Fuck, I love you. Tell me what you need. Tell me. I want to hear you say it. It’s my birthday.”
“Fuck me,” you gasp, lifting trembling hands to cup his cheeks. “Please, fuck me, Osamu.”
“God, I love hearing you beg,” he breathes out, nipping at your jaw before his lips drag hot and slow up to your ear. “Love seeing you all worked up for me. Only I get to see you like this, yeah?”
His teeth graze your ear lobe, and you exhale shakily, shivering under his touch. He laughs softly, infuriatingly pleased with himself, and you can’t even hit him with a snide comment like you usually would, because your whole body shudders when you feel his cock slide between your folds.
“You don’t even know how good you look right now,” he goes on, voice low and smooth as he traces his fingers down your body again. 
The noise you let out is embarrassing, something caught between a whine and a gasp of his name when he presses the tip of his cock to your entrance. Your hips jerk up, desperate for him to sink inside you again, but he holds your hips down. It’s been weeks since the two of you have done anything together, and your body is falling apart just at the idea of having him deep inside you again. 
“Please,” you whisper again, voice coming out more of a whine than anything else. “Osamu, it’s been so long, I—”
Dazai doesn’t let you finish your sentence. The words are knocked from your lungs when he snaps his hips forward, thrusting deep inside you. Your hands slide underneath his sweatshirt, nails raking down his back as you writhe beneath him. His eyes are half-lidded as he looks down at you, and you’re pleased to realize he’s just as much of a mess as you. His lips are pink and swollen, his face is flushed, hair matted to his forehead, and dark eyes unfocused. He looks beautiful.
You love him. You’ve always loved him, but it hits you so suddenly that it makes your chest ache. You surge upwards to press your lips against his, and Dazai moans into your mouth, rocking his hips against yours suddenly as he presses you back down into the mattress, tongues sliding together messily. Each thrust is deep and even, less like he’s trying to chase release and more like he’s just savoring in the feeling of being with you like this again. 
“Osamu,” you beg, and you don’t really know what you’re begging for, but your lashes suddenly feel wet, and he’s lifting one hand to wipe tears you didn’t realize were falling over your cheeks. “Osamu, I—”
Your words break into a moan when Dazai thrusts just a little harder, hitting that spot inside you that makes your vision go white at the edges. Dazai ghosts his lips against yours, laughing breathlessly. 
“Aw, baby, you missed me, didn’t you?” His voice is teasing as he brushes kisses across your face, deceptively gentle when compared to the way he’s fucking the air right out of your lungs with every thrust. “I missed you too, we’ve both been so busy lately… Didn’t even know if you’d have time today with everything going on.”
Even with your brain fogged with pleasure, you can hear the brief waver of insecurity in his tone. You lift your hands up to cup his cheeks between your hands, forcing him to look you in the eye.
“Always have time for you,” you tell him softly. “Especially today.”
Dazai’s throat bobs at your words, and instead of responding, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. The room is filled with the lewd sounds of skin-on-skin, breathless moans, and his cock driving in and out of your cunt. You gasp his name, hips bucking up to meet his, both of you now chasing release. 
You’re so close that it hurts, abdomen coiled tight and thighs so tense that they’re shaking around his waist. When he slips his hand between you to rub tight circles on your clit, you finally fall apart. His name spills from your lips and your vision whitens at the edges, you let out a ragged sob that he swallows with a kiss as he fucks you through your high, gasping your name like a prayer over and over again. He’s close, too—you can feel it in the way his rhythm falters and how his breath hitches over every chant of your name.
Your walls spasm around him as he chases your high, pleasure shifting into overstimulation as he uses your body for himself now. You hiccup over a sob as your whole body squirms beneath him, but he holds you down, fucking you so hard that your body jolts further up the bed with each thrust. Your vision darkens at the edges a bit, your head feels woozy, and it’s when you really feel the pinpricks of numbness spreading from your fingertips up to your arms, that he finally finishes, burying himself deep inside you as he cums with a low, broken moan of your name. 
He doesn’t move for a long moment, just breathing hard against your shoulder, body trembling above yours. He finally lifts his head, and with a lazy, sated grin, he says, “What a birthday gift.”
You roll your eyes at him, but the smile that curls at your lips is fond.
“I love you,” you whisper, reaching up to caress his face, thumb running along his cheekbone. “Happy birthday.”
“I love you,” he replies softly, eyes sliding shut as he kisses your palm. “Thank you.”
---------
You wake up early the next morning to make the maritozzi for Dazai. He’s still fast asleep in bed next to you by the time you wake up, tangled in the sheets and curled into your warmth. Slipping out of bed without waking him is no easy feat—he’s always clingy in the mornings, even more so when he’s exhausted. You know he hasn’t been sleeping well these past few weeks you’ve been away, and the last thing you want is to disturb the rare peace he’s found.
So, for a while, you stay. You hum softly under your breath, fingers trailing gently through his hair in slow, soothing strokes. It takes nearly half an hour before his grip on you slackens enough for you to ease out of his arms and tiptoe into the kitchen.
You’ve been up for a few hours now. Dazai is still sleeping, surprisingly; you underestimated just how tired he was. Usually, you can slip out of bed, but he’ll come wandering in, looking for you within the hour. His sleep rarely lasts when you’re not in bed with him. 
The pastries are almost done now; though, you just took them out to cool, and you've put together a little basket for when they’re done. You think maybe you’ll drag him outside to eat. He needs to get some sun; all he’s been doing the past few months is rotting away in your apartment or his. 
You hum softly to yourself as you grab a blanket out of the closet, folding it before placing it next to the basket. You need to clean still, too, but—
You jump slightly when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Dazai’s familiar weight settles on your back as he leans on you, burying his face in the crook of your neck to kiss your skin gently before resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Cheater,” he murmurs, voice thick with sleep. “Making my favorite, so I can’t be mad at you for sneaking out of bed. So unfair.”
You smile to yourself, looking to the side so you can see him. He still looks sleepy—his eyes are drooping shut and his breathing is heavy, but the bags beneath his eyes are lighter, if only a little. You lift up your hand so you can cup the side of his face before leaning in to press your lips against his cheek.
“Good morning,” you say quietly. “You slept for a while.”
His eyes slide shut when your lips brush his skin. “Come back to bed,” he whispers. “Lay with me a little longer.”
“I need to finish cleaning,” you tell him, ignoring the way he pushes his bottom lip out dramatically; he looks stupid pouting so hard with his eyes closed. Your chest bubbles with warmth. “It’ll be annoying to clean the cream after it hardens in the bowl.”
His eyes fly open at that, gaze suddenly sharp as he scans the counter. He lights up when he sees the two bowls on the counter in front of you, giving you imploring eyes and a sweet smile. You roll your eyes at him.
“You’re such a child,” you insult fondly, but you do reach forward to scoop up some of the leftover cream onto your finger, lifting it to his lips. Dazai immediately wraps his lips around the digit, sucking the thick cream right off your finger and moaning obnoxiously. 
“Strawberry,” he says approvingly after he pulls his lips off your finger with a loud pop. He gives you a sharp smile before saying, “You taste better though. My favorite type of c—”
“Stop,” you interrupt before he can finish the sentence. He pouts again, but then presses a slow kiss to the back of your neck. You sigh, leaning into his touch despite yourself, and he hums softly as he rocks the two of you back and forth slowly, resting his forehead on the top of your head. You rest your hand over one of his, eye sliding shut and then admit, “I’ve missed you a lot.”
“It’s been a long three weeks,” he agrees softly. “I wish Mori would start sending someone else to handle business abroad.”
“I wish you could come with me,” you say with a frown. “The only time you’ve ever left the country, you were thrown in prison. There’s so many places I want to bring you.”
“You don’t know that,” he says petulantly. “I could’ve left during the two years I was underground.”
“Did you?”
“... No.”
“Do you like arguing for the sake of arguing?” you ask dryly, but you find yourself smiling fondly. 
“Where do you want to take me?” he asks instead of answering the question, arms tightening around you. “Hmm? Tell me.”
Your lips part to list off all of your favorite travel destinations. Paris, the City of Love—Dazai would be horrendously obnoxious there with you, but he would love it, so it would probably be one of the first places you brought him. The Yucatán Peninsula too, you think, and maybe Egypt—he had a whole phase back when the two of you were teenagers where he would spend hours a day researching ancient civilizations, watching people explore old ruins with a pout and complaining incessantly about being stuck in Yokohama. You want to bring him to Zhuhai one day to show him the Chimelong Ocean Kingdom, but Qu Yuan and Cao Xueqin have been fighting for territory there for almost two years now so it won’t be any time soon.
But you don’t say anything, because your gaze draws back to the mess of bowls on the counter and then to where the maritozzi are cooling. More than anything, you want to bring him to a home that no longer exists. A home you don’t even remember. You don’t know why you’ve been yearning so badly for it lately; you went years without thinking of your past before you met Mori, not even once had it crossed your mind in that time, but over the last few months, it's crossed your mind frequently. You swear that you can feel familiar arms wrapping around you, a laugh that makes your chest ache that you can’t quite place; you find yourself looking up at the stars, and you can almost hear whispers of a voice you should know laying next to you, telling you all the stories of the constellations.
Dazai seems to recognize something is wrong, because he lifts his hand to your chin to tilt your face up and to the side so that your gaze lands on his. He frowns slightly, running his thumb over your skin before he says, “Dance with me?” 
“Dance?” you ask, trying to laugh but it comes out too forced. Dazai only gives you a sweet smile in return before he spins you around to face him, one hand resting on your waist while the other reaches for yours, entwining his fingers with yours as he starts spinning to a song only he can hear, dragging you along with him as he dances the two of you around the island in the kitchen. “You’re so cheesy.”
“I prefer romantic,” he disagrees as he spins you beneath his arm, dipping you down slightly and holding you there for a moment so he can lean in and place an obnoxiously loud kiss right on your nose. “Isn’t this romantic?” 
You laugh again, and this one is more genuine as you look up at him. His dark eyes are a warm golden color beneath the morning light, sickeningly soft as he looks down at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters to him. Your throat suddenly feels too tight, and his lips curl up into a soft smile as he places another kiss on your face, this time on your lips.
He lifts you from the dip, and you slip your hand from his so you can hook both of your arms loosely around his neck. His hands settle on your hips as the two of you continue to sway slowly to an imaginary song. 
“Why don’t you like baking them?” he asks quietly. It’s a question you know he’s been dying to know the answer to for years; you’re surprised it took him this long to ask.
Your gaze lowers. “I think… my mother was the one who taught me how to bake them,” you say softly. “I can never get them right. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
Dazai doesn’t say anything right away. His hold on you tightens just the slightest bit as he rests his forehead against yours. Your lips press together and your eyes sting with sudden tears. You think about how your hands move automatically through the steps, how your heart always sinks when they come out just a little too dense or the cream doesn’t taste quite right. It’s like there’s a version of the pastry that lives in your memory—light, sweet, perfect—and no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to recreate it. 
Like it belonged to another life. Another version of you. One that was pure, sweet, gentle, and this one doesn’t deserve it.
This version of you has seen too much, done too much. You carry too many shadows in your heart and have too much blood under your fingernails. You were softer then—before the Great War, before Mori, before the Port Mafia.  Every time you make them, you’re reminded that you’ll never be that girl again. The one that exists now… you don’t even know if she can be considered human by most people. The pastries don’t come out right because they’re not meant to. You no longer know how to make something so sweet. You don’t deserve something so gentle.
You suddenly understand why you’ve been thinking so much of your past.
Your gaze flickers up to Dazai as he lifts his hands to cradle your face between his hands. His thumb brushes beneath your eye, catching the tear before it can fall. He gives you a small, sad smile before he asks quietly, “This isn’t about the pastries, is it?”
You try to look away but he doesn’t let you. Your voice is barely a rasp as you say, “They’re not right. They don’t—”
I’m not right. I don’t know if I deserve this.
“They’re yours,” he murmurs, cutting you off before you can finish what you’re about to say. He leans in to press his lips against your temple. “They’re perfect to me.”
You’re you. You’re perfect to me.
“It’s not what I want to give you,” you insist. Your voice cracks, much to your horror. You turn your face into his shoulder, not wanting him to see the tears that threaten to spill. “I feel like I’m holding you back, Osamu. That you’ll never be able separate yourself from your past as long as you’re with me, and you’ll never believe in your own goodness when you come home to me every night. I don’t want to be the reason you can never accept that you’ve fulfilled Oda’s last request.”
Dazai’s smile is unbearably soft as he gently pulls your face from his shoulder and forces you to look at him again. His gaze darts up to the basket you started putting together on the table and he asks quietly, “Did you want to eat breakfast outside?” 
You nod, swallowing thickly.
“C’mon,” he nudges you. “Let’s finish getting it all together and go eat. We can talk out there.”
---------
Dazai has never had a reason to live.
The first time he tried to kill himself, he was eleven. It was when his grandfather had started pitting his siblings and cousins against each other, and Dazai first started questioning why he was even alive. He had no ambition for power like his siblings, he had no passion for any hobbies like his mother, and he had no friends, not even his own family liked him. His mother found him slumped over in the bathroom and rushed him to the hospital—she made him swear to never do something like this again. He agreed, but his promise to her died when she did when he was fourteen. 
The second time he tried to kill himself, he was fourteen. His mother got caught trying to smuggle Dazai and his siblings out of his grandfather’s estate. Two of his siblings had already been killed by his cousins, and she was desperate to not lose anymore of her children. She got caught trying to escape with them, and his grandfather ordered his father to kill her. Dazai jumped from the rooftop that very night—that’s how he ended up in Mori’s clutches. 
He’s not sure how many times he tried to die from fourteen to fifteen. More than he can count, and they got progressively more violent and desperate over time. When he met Chuuya and then Odasaku, he found his first friends—although at the time, he’d never been able to fully bring himself to believe that they viewed him that way. Dazai slowed down on his attempts after meeting them; he didn’t fully stop, he just became more… passive with it. Attempts to blow himself up shifted into recklessness during missions; instead of drinking various poisons, he would drink copious amounts of alcohol until his skin was gray and clammy and the room started spinning. 
And then, he met you. 
And then, he met you.
Dazai’s lips curl up into a soft smile as he watches you set up all the stuff you’d prepared for breakfast. He keeps trying to sneak one of the maritozzi buns, but you catch him every time, slapping his hand away and giving him an accusing look. You’re still upset, but you’re a bit calmer now as you focus on something else.
You drove him mad. You drive him mad. You didn’t flinch at his barbed humor or the way he suddenly and irrationally tried to push you away after worming his way into your life. You never gave up when he deflected conversation with a smile or silence. You didn’t recoil from the mess that he was; you just acknowledged it like it was something as simple as the weather, accepting it, him, into your life so easily. You saw through the cocky facade and self-destruction, and you stayed anyway.
It terrified him. He couldn’t fathom it for years—you didn’t lecture him over his self-destructive tendencies, and you never pulled the whole ‘please, stop for me’ shit that he hated so much. You just sat with him. On the nights when his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and he couldn’t remember how many bottles he’d emptied, you were there. You didn’t touch him unless he asked, didn’t talk unless he initiated it, and over time, Dazai found himself relying on you in a way that scared him. 
After meeting you, for the first time in maybe his whole life, he started to want things again—small, stupid things, but things nonetheless. He wanted a morning that didn’t start with a hangover so he could wake up early and have coffee with you before you left for your meetings. He wanted to come back from a mission in one piece so he could watch a movie with you before laying down. He wanted to be able to sit beside you and not feel like a grenade with the pin halfway out, ready to take you out with him. Dazai has never believed that he deserved you, and a part of him almost wants to laugh when he realizes that you feel the same about him. 
He thinks back to the conversation he had with you a few months ago when you came back from Rome early to be with him, and he feels so silly.
“What are you thinking?” you ask quietly as you set the basket to the side, finally looking up at him, but only briefly. 
“Do you remember the conversation we had a few months ago? When you came back early from Rome?” 
You raise your eyebrows at him, and Dazai wiggles across the blanket so that he can sit beside you. He nudges your shoulder with his, beckoning you to look at him again. You turn your head to the side, gaze focusing on him. 
“Yeah,” you answer after a moment. “Of course.”
“It’s us,” he whispers. “It’s always been us.”
You look at him, tilting your head to the side. You press your lips together tightly, an expression on your face like you understand what he’s saying, but you think maybe you’re misunderstanding and don’t want to get your hopes up. You set the napkins in your hands down, and Dazai continues, voice low.
“I didn’t understand it then,” he admits quietly. “I think maybe I haven’t understood it until right now, but it’s us. My reason to live—it’s you and me, has been for years. Since we were sixteen. I—”
“Osamu,” you start to say, and your voice wavers. You want to believe him, but you’re scared of being disappointed, like maybe he’s just saying this in the spur of the moment to make you feel better.
He shifts to sit on his knees, grabbing your hands and pulling them into his lap, squeezing them tightly. He can feel your fingers shaking ever so slightly. 
“It’s true,” he insists. “Being with you… it gives me something to look forward to every day. You make me want things I didn’t think I could want. You make me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling.”
He lifts one of your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles and then your palm. His voice is shaking a bit now, but he continues. “You make me want to live. Not just survive. Not just keep breathing because I haven't figured out how to stop. Live. Really live. I want a future with you, I want—”
Dazai’s voice breaks, his grip tightens on your hand. Your eyes are wet with tears, and your lips are trembling, and Dazai loves you. He loves you so much that it makes him sick sometimes.
“I want to marry you,” he rasps. “I want to wake up every morning your husband. I want you to be my wife.”
He watches as you inhale deeply. He can feel your nails digging into his hands and it stings, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t realize just how much he means the words until he says them. And he realizes, a bit belatedly, that he doesn’t have a ring and this isn’t the proposal you deserve, but there’s so much hope in your eyes that he can’t take it back now.
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Osamu,” you whisper. “Please, don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
“I mean it.” He lets go of your hands to cup your cheeks. He lets out a broken laugh, blinking hard. “I’ve never been more certain of anything. You’re the only thing in my life that’s ever made sense. I want to live, and I want to live with you. As your husband. And I—I don’t have a ring. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t, uh, I didn’t think I was capable of ever asking anyone—of ever wanting this.”
He leans in to press his forehead to yours. He can taste the mint on your breath, and he can’t help himself from stealing a kiss, a brief brush of his lips against yours that makes his chest ache. 
“But I want it with you. I want to be yours in every way a person can belong to someone. And I want you to be mine,” he says softly, hands sliding down from your face to cradle your neck instead. “This—it isn’t me asking, okay? I want to get a ring, I want to do it right, make it special, but I want you to know, because there is no world where you’re ever holding me back. You’re what keeps me going, so whatever silly thoughts you have going on in that pretty head of yours, they need to stop, okay?”
You take in a ragged breath and lean forward, pressing your face into the crook of his neck, and Dazai pulls you into his lap, holding you close, one hand wrapped rightly around your waist, the other cradling the back of your head. He kisses the top of your head and lets out a long breath, a weight lifting from his chest. Your body fits against his like it always has, like you’re made to be here, curled in his arms with the early afternoon light painting you in gold. He shuts his eyes and buries his face in your hair, breathing in the familiar scent of your shampoo.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he finally murmurs, pressing his lips to your temple in a lingering kiss. “I don’t even fully understand it, but I know that I want you. I need you. You don’t have to change for me; you don’t have to be someone else for my sake. You as you are—it’s enough. You’re enough. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted; it doesn’t matter that you’re still with the Mafia and I’m with the Agency. None of that matters to me. What Odasaku asked of me… you being in my life doesn’t change anything. He’d never have wanted me to chase after his last request if it meant coming at the cost of you. Do you even know how many years he spent trying to get me to pull my head out of my ass and make a move on you? I think he was more relieved than either of us were when we finally got together.”
You let out a watery laugh, or maybe it’s a sob, Dazai can’t really tell, but he holds you a bit tighter, savoring in the feeling of having you in his arms. He thinks he could stay here forever if given the chance. Live a quiet life away from everything, just you, him and the rest of your lives together.
Maybe one day.
“I love you,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his throat before settling against him. The tension in your shoulders slowly dissipates, and you let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.”
He kisses the top of your head again. “Don’t apologize,” he says. “I love you too.”
The two of you bask in each others arms, relaxing beneath the early afternoon sun. He toys with your hair absently, running soothing circles on your upper back. After a few moments, he glances back on the maritozzi you’d pulled out of the basket.
“... Can I have one now?” he asks, giving you an imploring look when you pull back to give him a deadpan one. “Please. It’s literally been five years, do you know how much self control I’ve had the past hour?” 
Your lips curl up into a fond smile. “Fine.”
Dazai’s hand snatches out immediately before you can change your mind, shovelling the sweet bun into his mouth all at once. Your eyes shoot open in shock.
“Jesus Christ, Osamu,” you say, scrambling for a water bottle when he chokes over it. “What is wrong with you? My god, could you eat it normally?”
His eyes sting with tears, but he manages to give you a thumbs-up between coughs and wheezes. “So worth it,” he gasps, mouth-half-full, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.
You hand him the water, watching with a mixture of horror and amusement as he gulps it down. You shake your head when he finally manages to swallow, muttering, “You’re insane.”
Dazai leans back with a dramatic groan, collapsing onto the blanket like he’s completed a Herculean task. He reaches out for your hand, entwining your fingers again and tugging you to lay on top of him. 
“So perfect,” he sighs dreamily, voice still a bit hoarse. He winks at you and gives you a flirty smile and then coos, “Just like the baker.”
“You’re so corny,” you complain, but you’re smiling when you look away from him.
“I’m so yours,” he corrects teasingly, kissing your knuckles.
Your smile softens. 
“You are,” you agree quietly, “and I’m yours.”
Yeah, Dazai thinks, an adoring expression on his face as you lean in to brush some of the cream at the corner of his mouth away with your thumb. Yeah, this is definitely all he ever needs.
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sassybluebird · 12 days ago
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—You might or might've not flinch to Dazai's own voice when he speaks up after hours upon shared intimate silence. The brunet's admittedly attractive hands in the curls of your own hair, amazed, dumb, you were shock out of the reverie as Dazai raises his tone. "So what now?" He turns to you. What now? You ask back, confused, but Dazai smiles to tell about the relationship, he meant.
"We... can get married and die by suicide all the more ten times romantic."
"Ah! Proposal to commit even in marriage." He chuckles so boyish you wanted to pinch his stupid flustered cheeks. "Sure, sure, yes! In proof of love another sort of way. Then that marks!"
Dazai pretends drop to his knee, muffled pained, he mocks a velvet box and sleazy lines. "Marry me then, [name]? Be my fiancé?"
You cross his ring finger with yours, intertwined in play of sliding down jewelry. "Yeah. A hundredfold, Osamu."
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sassybluebird · 12 days ago
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Anecdote: Shopping with Dazai
"Huh you read that?"
"Hello, who's behind the phone?"
"Oh y/n san, let me test this camera, yes yes stand there.... just like that *shutter sound*"
Oh man can god please give me the power to draw in a consistant style id really appreciate that. I dont like this one at all, i was supposed to practice shadow and line but then it all went poof as soon as i layed down the colors. I just coped all the way.
And that poor camera... jeez its so wonky no wonder it cost 300 yen... i just wanna roast this and myself until morning but o well what can i do km already postong it, i hope u guys atleast like it.
I also didnt rlly put much effort into the anecdote, i wanna start writing some stuff maybe perhaps idk possibly who knows no promises
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sassybluebird · 12 days ago
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Hello! Could you make a reader x Dazai? Like, the reader is from the armed detective agency and is like, really kind, loving and doting for everyone (especially the younger ones). And like, really cares about Dazai, like, bringing home-cooked meals and always sharing them with him when realizing he doesn’t eat at the agency. Giving in to his whines, paying attention even when the rest is occupied with tasks. Not asking but lingering every time he talks about suicide. Joking around with him…you know, whatever makes you comfortable writing!!
Thank you 😊
Even You Can Bloom Here
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snyopsis: Amidst the chaos of the Armed Detective Agency, your unwavering care for those around you begins to reach even Dazai Osamu, who, little by little, starts choosing your warmth over his loneliness.
content/warnings: ADA!Dazai x reader, fluff, 2.055 words
The Armed Detective Agency was always a strange mix of chaos and comfort. On any given day, the office might be filled with stacks of paperwork, half-shouted arguments, and at least one life-threatening mission waiting in someone's inbox.
But amid that chaos, you had found a rhythm of your own.
"Y/N-san! Y/N-san!!" Kenji's voice carried through the office as he bounded toward you, a wide grin on his face and a pot of soil in his hands. "Look! The cucumbers are sprouting!"
You turned from the tea you were preparing and crouched down beside him, brushing dirt off his overalls with a fond smile. "That's amazing, Kenji! You've got a real talent here."
"I used to grow rows of these back home," he beamed proudly. "Pa says nothing beats homegrown cucumbers."
"I think he's right," you said softly, already mentally adding cucumber salad to tonight's dinner plan. You couldn't bring him his family's farm, but you could bring this—a little piece of it, tucked into a rooftop garden you'd slowly been coaxing into life.
"Want me to help after work?" he asked cheerfully.
"Of course," you chuckled, giving his hair a playful ruffle. "We'll make a whole farm up there before you know it."
Just across the room, Atsushi was nervously eyeing a stack of files like they might bite him.
"Paperwork again?" you asked gently, sliding over beside him.
He jumped a little, then relaxed when he saw you. "I-I don't even know how to fill half of this out."
Without missing a beat, you reached for the nearest pen. "Good thing you know someone who does."
His shoulders relaxed, his usual anxious tension softening into something lighter, something almost close to contentment. These moments—helping, guiding, taking care—came as naturally to you as breathing.
A small movement caught your attention out of the corner of your eye.
Kyouka was curled up on the agency's battered couch, small and quiet, her sword resting by her side like a loyal shadow. Her eyes were starting to drift closed in that way children tried to fight sleep but never quite succeeded.
You excused yourself from Atsushi and grabbed the knitted blanket you always kept folded over the back of your chair. Quietly, you made your way over and draped it around her shoulders, tucking it in just enough to keep her warm without waking her. The faintest smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
You had just returned to your desk when you noticed someone hadn't touched the lunch box you left them that morning. You didn't need to check twice to know who.
Dazai Osamu was stretched leaned back in hhis chair as usual, arms folded behind his head, humming some morbid old love song about the sea and slow, drifting death. His untouched bento sat on the table in front of him.
You wandered over and leaned against the desk, arms crossed. "That food's not going to eat itself."
Dazai cracked one eye open. "Ah, Y/N-chan. Come to serenade me as I slip into a poetic starvation-induced coma?"
"Not on my watch," you replied flatly, though there was warmth in your voice. "You don't get out of living that easy. Not while I'm around."
He smirked lazily, but he did sit up straight, eyeing the food with disinterest before glancing at you. "You always bring me food. Aren't you afraid I'll come to rely on you?"
"I want you to," you said softly, without missing a beat.
He looked at you then—really looked—and the air between you stilled for a fraction of a moment, something unspoken pressing just beneath the surface.
"…You're strange," he murmured, voice quieter now. "Too kind for this world."
You shrugged, smiling faintly. "That's what everyone here needs. Someone to be kind when the world forgets how."
Dazai didn't answer, but he took the chopsticks, poked into the rice, and took a bite.
Victory.
The Agency didn't just run on miracles or powers. It ran on people. On threads of care, cups of tea, warm food, and soft words given when they were needed most.
And you would be that warmth. For all of them.
Even for the one who joked too much about death and ate too little—especially for him.
Of course it didn't happen all at once.
With Dazai, nothing ever did—not the important things, anyway.
It started with the smallest shifts. Barely noticeable at first, unless you were really paying attention. Which, of course, you were.
One morning, you set a bento on the corner of his desk like always, expecting the usual dramatic sigh or sarcastic comment about how eating was "such a chore." Instead, he glanced at you, eyes sharp and observant, and said softly, almost like it slipped out by accident:
"…Thanks."
No flourish, no theatricality. Just that one, quiet word.
You didn't comment on it. Just smiled.
The next shift came on a rainy afternoon, when most of the Agency had scattered for errands or assignments. You found Dazai in his usual place on the couch, gazing out the window with a rare sort of stillness, bandaged hands loosely folded in his lap.
You didn't ask if he was okay. You didn't push. Instead, you sat on the other end of the couch with a book, folding your legs under you, giving him space but making sure he knew you were there.
Fifteen minutes passed in silence, the rain tapping steadily against the glass.
Then: "That book boring?"
You glanced at him. "Not really."
"Then why are you watching me instead of reading?"
You tilted your head, thoughtful. "I don't mind watching you."
His brow lifted at that, genuinely surprised. A breath of a laugh escaped him—not mocking, just… curious. "Hm. Dangerous thing to say to a man like me."
"I'll take my chances."
You both left it at that. But his posture shifted. He wasn't curled away from you anymore. He was… with you, in that small, quiet moment.
The rooftop garden became another of his habits.
Not every day—but often enough that you stopped being surprised when you'd come up for watering or weeding and find him already there, hands in his coat pockets, watching the little green shoots sway in the breeze.
"It's ridiculous," he said once, crouching next to a tomato plant, poking at the dirt. "Me. Caring whether a plant grows or not."
You knelt beside him. "It's not ridiculous. Life's hard. Things growing in spite of it—that's kind of beautiful, don't you think?"
For once, he didn't argue. He just looked at the small leaves and, for a heartbeat, looked like he wanted to believe you.
Sometimes he still joked about dying. Of course he did. That was his armor.
But it changed.
Instead of directing it outward—frustrating his coworkers or testing their patience—he saved it for you, like it was a private joke. A strange kind of trust.
Like the time you caught him standing by the office window at sunset.
"Looks like a good evening for a poetic demise, don't you think?"
You walked up beside him, bumping your shoulder lightly against his. "You jump, I'm going after you."
That got him to laugh—really laugh—something warm and genuine, the kind of laugh that carried no weight, no mask, no sharpness underneath it. Just real.
"You'd ruin the poetry of it," he teased.
"Good. I've always preferred prose anyway."
And for the first time, Dazai didn't walk away from the window. He stood next to you instead, watching the sky fade into violet with that soft, unreadable expression of his.
One evening, long after everyone else had gone home, you found him asleep on the office couch—not dramatically sprawled like usual, but curled in on himself, one arm over his eyes, the bandages on his wrist visible where his sleeve had slipped.
You didn't wake him. Instead, you fetched the softest blanket you could find and draped it over him gently, tucking it around his shoulders. Just as you started to move away, you felt fingers lightly catch your wrist.
"Stay," he murmured, barely audible.
No drama. No games.
Just a quiet, vulnerable word, like a crack in a well-worn mask.
You stayed.
It wasn't love yet—not quite.
But it was trust. And with Dazai, that was something rarer than any confession.
But the biggest change was yet to come.
For weeks, it had always been you finding him. You bringing the meals. You settling beside him on the couch. You being the constant in his drifting orbit.
But now he was changing his patterns.
It began with small things.
You caught him lingering near your desk more often, fiddling absently with pens or paperclips that didn't belong to him. He'd act like he was just wandering by, casting a careless glance at the reports you were working on, but the glance always shifted—always—to you.
"Hard at work, I see," he'd say lightly. But the way his eyes rested on you was different now. Softer. Focused.
He stopped ignoring the lunches you left for him.
Then, he started waiting for you.
One afternoon, you left the office to grab tea, only to find Dazai by the door when you returned, leaning lazily against the frame, as if he'd just happened to be there at that moment.
"You're following me now?" you teased, brushing past him with a smile.
"Hm." He fell into step beside you, hands in his pockets. "Maybe. Someone's got to make sure you don't get into trouble."
"That's rich, coming from you."
He smiled—not that wide, sharp grin he used with the others, but something smaller. Something real.
You didn't ask why he was suddenly gravitating toward you. You didn't need to. The answer hung in every little moment:
When he'd sit on the arm of your chair, close enough that your arms brushed, under the pretense of reading your reports over your shoulder.
When he'd appear beside you while you were watering the rooftop garden, not saying anything—just being there, watching your hands in the dirt like it was something soothing.
When he'd start offering you pieces of the sweets you brought for him, wordlessly holding one out between his fingers, waiting until you took it before eating his own.
It was after a mission—tense, exhausting, and too close for comfort—that the feeling crystallized between you.
The Agency was quiet that evening. You were on the rooftop, fingers brushing the leaves of a stubborn little basil plant, when you heard soft footsteps behind you.
Dazai didn't say anything at first. He just walked over and crouched beside you, elbows on his knees, gaze tracing the skyline beyond the fence.
"I thought you'd be here," he murmured.
Something about the way he said it—soft, certain—made your heart skip in your chest.
You glanced at him. "You came looking?"
For once, no teasing. No playful sarcasm. Just honesty:
"…Yeah."
Silence stretched out between you, but not uncomfortably.
Then, as if testing the weight of it, he spoke again—softer this time. "You… feel safe. To be around."
It wasn't much. It wasn't a confession. But it was everything coming from him.
Your throat tightened, but you kept your voice steady. "Good. I want you to feel that way. You deserve somewhere safe."
His hand shifted slightly on the concrete between you both, fingers brushing against yours—not holding, not yet, just there.
"I don't really know how to do this," he admitted quietly. "Letting people stay."
You turned your hand slightly, enough that your pinky curled against his.
"You don't have to know," you said gently. "Just don't push me away when you're scared. I'm not going anywhere."
For a moment, his eyes glimmered—not with his usual amusement or sharpness, but with something raw. Barely there. Barely spoken.
"…You're terrifying, you know that?" he whispered, voice hoarse with something that might've been laughter, might've been something else entirely.
"Why?"
"Because I think I'm starting to believe you."
And for once, Dazai didn't leave first. He stayed with you on that rooftop, shoulder brushing yours, quiet and steady as the sky darkened above your little garden.
Not out of obligation.
Not out of curiosity.
Out of choice.
Masterlist
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sassybluebird · 14 days ago
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୨୧ meeting you ୨୧
character’s included : damon, stefan, elijah, enzo, klaus , kol.
SUMMARY : request —they meet you, a vampire who’s turned in the 1950s. capable of flipping a bus with your pinky if needed, drink your blood bags in peace, and avoid drama unless it personally knocks on your door.
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୨୧ DAMON.
at first.
he’s intrigued. you’re not falling for his usual charm or sass, and you’re not playing the high-stakes game everyone else seems to.
he finds you reading quietly in some dimly lit lounge, legs crossed, maybe wearing a vintage outfit perfectly pressed.
you don’t even look up when he walks in.
he throws out a flirty comment.
you’d say “are you always this loud or is today special?”
Instantly obsessed.
but when he really takes notice is when someone tries to start something with you. maybe a vampire gets pushy, maybe a human flirts too hard. you stand up, say one calm sentence, and the air just shifts. cold. lethal. beautiful.
you don’t fight. you could. you won’t.
honestly? damon is in love.
he teases you a lot, trying to draw out that dangerous side just to see it again.
you just roll your eyes and sip your blood like it’s fine wine.
he calls you “greaser girl” because of the ‘50s vibes. you pretend to hate it. you don’t.
୨୧ STEFAN.
stefan is surprised, in a good way.
you remind him of how he wants to be. peaceful, distant from chaos, but still grounded and self-aware.
he’s wary at first, because mysterious vampires usually mean problems.
but then he realizes you’re just…minding your own business.
he finds you sipping blood from a crystal glass in a jazz bar you’ve basically claimed as your personal den. you’re polite but distant, and he respects that.
then someone tries to threaten you. maybe a baby vamp getting cocky. you warn them once. twice.
then the look in your eyes changes. just slightly. just enough.
you don’t need to throw a punch. your presence alone is a warning.
stefan would say. “you could kill all of us, couldn’t you?”
and your answer. “only if you make me.”
he likes you immediately. you’re the only person who makes him feel like maybe he can step away from the madness. maybe you’ll be a friend to him like lexi. maybe you’ll be more?
୨୧ ENZO.
he lOVES you.
you’re a vintage queen with a razor tongue and a “don’t start none, won’t be none” policy and he thinks that’s just about the hottest thing in the world.
he meets you at some vampire gathering. you’re sitting in a corner with an untouched drink, looking completely bored.
you make eye contact once, then look away.
he’s hooked.
when he tries to flirt, you dryly say, “If I wanted attention, I’d set something on fire.”
he laughs like really actually laughs.
then he watches you obliterate a vampire who tries to bite someone in your presence.
though you don’t even break a sweat.
he’s standing there. in awe. Impressed like. “she’s so classy. she’s so deadly. I love her.”
he most likely calls you “dollface.”
you never admit it, but your unbeating heart skips every time.
୨୧ ELIJAH.
elijah is instantly intrigued.
you carry yourself like someone with power but not the kind that flaunts. the kind that could level cities but chooses stillness.
that kind of discipline? that kind of elegance?
he respects that.
when he first approaches you, he’s formal. courteous.
“you’re not like the others,” he says.
you meet his gaze calmly. “no. I’m not interested in being like them.”
he watches you from a distance at first. you remind him of a time when vampires weren’t all chaos and bloodshed. when there was grace. class. control.
and then one day, someone underestimates you.
the way you dismantle them. intellectually, then physically. is almost poetic.
elijah watches, silently impressed. and when it’s over, he simply steps closer and offers a clean handkerchief, as if the whole thing was a ballet.
he never asks you to join his cause.
but he always leaves the door open.
୨୧ KLAUS.
Immediate threat assessment.
he assumes you’re competition. or hiding something. he pokes, pushes, tests your limits.
you don’t flinch though.
and that makes him obsessed.
he tries to intimidate you. “who are you, little vampire, to be so calm in a world full of monsters?”
you sip your blood, tilt your head. “I was made in a world where monsters wore lipstick and smiled for the camera. you don’t scare me.”
he smiles. genuinely.
you’re the kind of person he knows not to push too far.
but we all know we should be careful with klaus. not to forget—katherine who was running from behind or 500 years.
୨୧ KOL
oooh he thinks you’re the hottest thing to walk the earth.
Immediately flirts.
Immediately gets iced out.
he keeps trying. though you keep brushing him off.
he’s hooked.
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sassybluebird · 14 days ago
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Hello love 🤍 I was wondering if you would like to write nsfw alphabet Elijah mikaelson ❤️ because he is the daddiest of them all 🫠
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𝓔𝓵𝓲𝓳𝓪𝓱 𝓜𝓲𝓴𝓪𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓸𝓷
NSFW Alphabet
This is for Elijah x f!reader
Thank you @b1tchy for being my first request :)
I wanted to do a male version cause I’m a guy but I just didn’t know if anyone would like that.
𝓐 - Aftercare - Does he do it/ What is it like?
Of course Elijah does aftercare. He loves to clean you up with a bath or a wet towel, whispering praises in your ear. Although sometimes he struggles to not clean you with his tongue instead. He also is super cuddly.
𝓑 - Blood
I mean blood play kind of comes along with being a vampire. Elijah is very cautious with it though due to his past trauma. He likes to feed from your thighs, even though there isn’t as much blood flow as the neck. When he feeds you he does it from his wrist. Sitting you on his lap and holding your hair out of your face.
𝓒 - Cum
Elijah’s a neat guy, everyone knows that. Well sex isn’t any different. Elijah would 100% prefer to cum inside you then lick you clean or cum inside your mouth instead of coming on your body.
𝓓 - Dominance
Elijah is extremely dominant most of the time. He enjoys being in control and watching you come undone by his hands or cock. That being said there is also a more submissive side of him that doesn’t come out as often, a side that wants you to tie him down a chair and edge him for hours while riding him.
𝓔 - Edging
Well talking about edging. Elijah is pretty neutral about it. As much as he loves to make you cum over and over, he also enjoys edging you for hours to give you that one extremely powerful orgasm.
𝓕 - Fantasy - A fantasy of his
Elijah has definitely had a fantasy about fucking you while in his red door mode, naked with blood running down his body. He’s ashamed of this though.
𝓖 - Grooming Habits - Hair not the other grooming u weirdos
Elijah keeps everything down there as neat as he does the rest of him. He keeps some hair but would be willing to go bare if you wanted.
𝓗 - Hard ons - What gets him hard?
Neediness. Knowing you want him turns him on immensely. When you beg him for anything with those big doe eyes he can’t help but want to shut you up with his cock down your throat.
𝓘 - Ick - What gives him the Ick?
Elijah wouldn’t be comfortable sharing you with anyone else. His possessiveness gets the better of him. You’d probably find another guys heart in Elijah’s fist before you could get near him.
𝓙 - Jokes - does he joke around during it?
Elijah’s pretty serious when it comes to sex, especially due to his dominant role. but there has definitely been times when he cracks.
For example that one time when he was fucking you against the wall so hard that it literally cracked down the middle. He couldn’t help but burst into laughter when he put you down and saw it.
𝓚 - Kinks
Elijah definitely has a size kink. He adores princess treatment and loves the idea of your hand being too small to wrap around his cock. The first time your belly bulged when he was fucking you he instantly came like a horny teenager.
However his size kink doesn’t mean skinny, he finds all body types attractive.
𝓛 - Lasting - How long can he last?
Elijah is a thousand years old… I’d say he could last the same amount of time.
𝓜 - Marks
Elijah is a private type of person, so if he was to mark you (assuming you are human) then it would be somewhere hidden. His favourite place to leave hickeys is on your thighs.
As for other marks, he loves to see the effect he’s had on you with tear stains, handprints on your ass or rope burn on your wrists.
𝓝 - Names - What names does he like to be called/call you?
You cannot tell me this man doesn’t have a sir/daddy kink. He fully plays into the parental role outside the bedroom anyways so why not in? He’d also be happy to only do one or the other if you didn’t like it.
He’d be pounding you from behind, your back against his chest with one hand around your throat and the other playing with your clit.
“You like how daddy’s fucking you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.”
As for what he would call you
Baby, angel, my love, princess and darling are all ones he commonly uses. For more intense moments he uses: Brat, minx, slut and whore.
He also loves to say ‘my girl’ and ‘good girl’.
𝓞 - Oral - is he more into giving or receiving?
Elijah is a gentleman, so he definitely prefers to give. He could spend hours between your legs without even thinking about himself.
However he would never say no to using your mouth. Making you choke on his cock until tears stream from your doe eyes absolutely wrecks him.
𝓟 - Pain
Despite being very dominant, Elijah is a gentle man. He wouldn’t go further than spanking you with his hand or pulling your hair unless you asked.
As for himself, he loves the feeling of your nails dragging down his back, drawing blood then healing so you can do it again.
𝓠 - Queer - what’s his sexuality?
I will always say that anyone who has lived as long as Elijah has tried everything. Personally I believe Elijah likes who he likes, regardless of gender. He’s definitely fucked and been fucked.
He’d be amazing with different pronouns if you asked.
𝓡 - Role - Top / Bottom / Switch?
Elijah is 100% has a top mentality. However if you wanted to peg him I doubt he’d say no to you.
𝓢 - Sex Position - What’s his favourite?
Elijah loves doggy, especially when he pulls your back up against his chest so you’re both kneeling.
𝓣 - Tease - is he a tease?
Elijah is a massive tease. He will sit in an armchair pretending to read a book while you kneel at his feet, begging and working yourself up until you’re rutting against his dress shoe. Then when you’re almost crying from desperation, he’ll pay you attention (even though his eyes have been stuck on the same word in his book the whole time, too distracted by your whines.)
𝓤 - Unique - something that makes him unique.
Elijah finds it really hot when you’re completely naked on his lap while he’s fully clothed. Sometimes he purposely leaves his clothes on just for that feeling of dominance.
𝓥 - Volume - How loud is he?
Elijah doesn’t moan that loud. He’s more of a grunter. But it’s never quiet with him, he makes up for his quiet moans with his dirty talk. He is the definition of ‘talk you through it’ and can’t help but constantly communicate to make sure you’re happy with everything he’s doing.
𝓦 - Wild Card - anything
Elijah loves when you ride his thigh, especially with his suit still on. He always chuckles at the embarrassed flush of your cheeks when you see the big stain your release left on his pants, ruining his immaculately clean look.
𝓧 - X-Ray - what’s he packing?
He’s just above average in length. But when I tell you Elijah fucking Mikaelson is THICK. His girth is unmatched, always stretching you to your limit, reaching every spot inside you.
𝓨- Yearning - how often is he horny?
Elijah will usually let you initiate any sex, but only because he’s polite. Secretly he would be in the mood to take you anywhere at anytime. You make him feel like a teenage human again, with a libido the size of Nebraska.
(Idk why Nebraska I’ve never set foot in the us lol)
𝓩- Zzz - is he tired after/ does he sleep straight away?
Unlike those sparkly cum coloured bitches in twilight, Elijah does sleep. He always holds you and waits until he’s certain you are asleep and happy before he drifts off.
Thanks for reading guys hope u liked it ;)
Remember to request something on my profile!
- 𝓓𝓮𝔁
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sassybluebird · 15 days ago
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Naked | Elijah Mikaelson
Summary: You're craving affection from the cold Elijah. When he asks you to read the names off his naked body, you can't keep your hands off him.
Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x reader
Genre: Suggestive, Shirtless!Elijah, Inspired by S1 Ep 14 when Elijah has the names on his skin.
Word Count: <1k
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"Y/n! Come here, quickly." Elijah yanked off his tie and threw it onto the ground.
You couldn't help but feel a flutter of delight. It had been too long since you'd heard Elijah call your name.
You rushed into the room. "I'm here, Elijah. How can I help...."
The words died on your lips when you caught sight of him.
Elijah was standing in the centre of the room. He was shirtless, holding his pale blue shirt crumpled in his hands.
You almost felt embarrassed by his nakedness, like you should turn away. But you couldn't tear your eyes from his body.
"The names marked on my flesh represent a riddle, left for me by the witch Celeste." Elijah said, voice cool. "If we figure out what they mean, we can save my siblings."
There was no "hello" or "how are you" with Elijah, even though this was the first time he'd spoken to you in days.
Your eyes traced across Elijah's naked chest. There were names scrawled all over his brown skin. You had never seen beneath the suit that Elijah wore like armour every day. What you saw was more... muscular than you were expecting.
"I need you to write down all the names marked upon me. Hurry, we do not have much time."
You stepped closer. "Why me?"
Elijah clenched his jaw, folding his arms across his chest.
His voice was curt. "I cannot read the names on my back, and I do not trust any of Marcel's imbeciles to do the job properly."
"So that's all I am to you now? One step up from a next-to-nothing daywalker? You almost loved me once." You muttered the last part under your breath, but Elijah's vampire ears caught every word.
Elijah turned to you, looking you straight in the eyes for the first time since you’d entered the room.
"I do not have time to discuss... such matters. Help me now, I implore you."
You sighed. "Fine. Let's crack this code and save some goddamn Originals."
You took Elijah's arm. His skin was surprisingly smooth, like warm butter. You gulped. You couldn't remember the last time you’d been touched.
"Adriana Malory," you whispered, tracing your finger across the cursive inked onto Elijah's forearm.
Inch by inch, you scoured Elijah’s skin, hands caressing every name.
You touched his bicep. "Anita Kaur." The slope of his shoulder. "Maria Nester." Under his collar bone. "Sophie King." Over his ribs. "Sabine Dubois."
Elijah watched silently as you read the names across his chest and back.
"We're nearly done," you said. "There's some left on your..." Your voice faltered. You gazed at the thick, taut muscles of his abdomen.
Half hidden by the belt of Elijah's trousers, one name was nestled amongst the dark coarse hair at the base of his abdomen.
"Just need to get a little closer..." You muttered. You knelt down on your knees in front of Elijah. His heart nearly stopped.
You reached out and touched his stomach, smoothing the hair to read the words.
"Emma... no, Emily..." Your mouth was dry. "I can't read the rest. Your belt..."
Elijah sucked in a breath. "Let's just get this over with." He unbuckled his belt and pulled his boxers down an inch.
You leaned closer.
"Emeliana Kirkcaldy," you said. "That's the last one."
Both you and Elijah exhaled. It was over.
Right now, Elijah was glad you weren’t a vampire. You couldn't hear his heart racing a hundred beats per minute.
"Won't you forgive me, Elijah? I only went through your diaries because I had to.” You looked up at him from your position on the floor. Your eyes, a deep shade of walnut, bore onto his. Tempting him. Taunting him.
Elijah cupped the side of your face. Your eyes slipped shut. You leant your cheek into his warm palm.
He wanted to give in, he wanted to feel your hands all over him, your lips on him. But then he remembered your betrayal, and his mouth filled with venom.
"We're done here." Elijah hissed. He sped across the room at vampire speed and whipped his shirt on.
"Wait," you called. "Take me with you, Elijah. I can help find-"
"You've done enough," he said, walking towards the door.
"Elijah!" You grabbed onto Elijah's arm and yanked him back with all your strength.
Elijah turned, staring at your hand on his arm. He couldn't help but be a little impressed that this young girl had the courage to take on an Original.
"How long are we going to be walking on eggshells around each other?" You yelled. "I've said I'm sorry! You're my only friend in this... prison that I'm forced to live in. Please, I can't bear you angry at me. I won't have it!"
You were panting, brown cheeks glowing with life. Your dark hair whipped wildly round your angular face.
Elijah sighed. "I am not angry at you."
You scoffed. "Tell that to your face."
Elijah smiled. He reached forwards and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Y/n… I owe it to my siblings to give them my undivided attention. If I allow myself to think, even for a second about... us." His words were strangled, barely above whisper. "No. I cannot."
Before you could say anything, Elijah stepped back, shrugging on his Armani suit jacket.
"Do not leave the Quarter, Y/n. It is not safe for a human.”
He sped off, too quick for your eyes to even process. Tears pricked at your eyes.
Elijah's indifference was worse than his disappointment. Something had to change.
​—
MAIN MASTERLIST
Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋
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sassybluebird · 15 days ago
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Elijah loves to fuck.
It’s a little bit scary because he’s one of those guys who you would expect it from but the real deal is way crazier. He’s the type to hold you in place while he kisses you down your neck and make sure you were literally shaking.
You’d think it would be Klaus who’s insatiable (and he definitely is) but Klaus is like that because he just randomly wants to fuck you. Elijah gets turned on like magic.
You can take off your coat, just a little bit slow with your hair wrapped around your shoulder and your neck is visible, and now you’re in missionary. You’re bouncing up and down, and Elijah’s gripping the sheets next to your head. He’s staring deeply into your soul as he thrusts into you hard. Like he wants to break your pussy or something. And he might be trying too, you never know with him.
He’s talking to you, but quite a bit to himself, about how good you feel. About how cute you are, about how you should know better than to get him turned on in the middle of the day, about how it’s okay because your so pretty that he just HAS to forgive you. And when you try to squeeze out a sentence of rebuttal his big strong hands grab your warm face and he plants a kiss to your lips that has you wriggling under him and hoping this lasts forever.
In his mind, it’s your fault that you both spend so much time in bed. That he can’t stop grabbing your breast (he hates whenever you call them tits if you must refer to them in a way like that then he’ll accept boobs) and he can’t stop putting them in his mouth and making you melt. You look so good and you take such good care of him and the people he cares about that he just has to reward you for that.
How can he stop himself? When he wakes up horny, and has to go through the day stuffed in his suit. Then he sees you preparing to make breakfast for him in the kitchen. With that ass he adores and those breast he just can’t get enough of. His favorite handfuls. Your braids that you insisted had to be waist length are pulled into a pony tail that frames your face perfectly with two curled strands cupping your soft face. And you’re probably wearing a sun dress to combat the NOLA summer sun. He can’t help but want to take you in the kitchen.
But Elijah is a gentleman so settles for hugging you from behind and letting his hands roam up and down while whispering enticements in your ear.
“Why don’t you just come up to bed?”
“Elijah it’s 9:30 in the morning, I’m far from tired”
“Why don’t you come up to bed and let me reward you for looking so good?”
And it always works. The combination of him touching you like that and kissing your neck and whispering in your ear? Oh yeah. Draws dropped.
Now you’re back in bed in your room which was still messy from the night before when you came home from dinner and he put you up against your bedroom door.
Your dress was still on the chair from where he tossed it off you.
And he’s slowly peeling your dress off your body, while you rip off the buttons of his shirt with a tenderness. He’s looking at you like he wants to eat you, and he might do that. But when he slips his hand into your underwear and feels how warm and wet you are it’s ridiculous. He has no time to do anything else he has to fuck you and he has to do it now.
After all this time, you still seemed a little embarrassed at how wet you were but the other thing Elijah loves is that you’re a grown woman who also likes to fuck.
It’s why you both work so well.
And he’s already gotten you started. He knows it, because he knew the second he started feeling the soft warmth of your stomach and he felt your heart rate speed up he knew it. Elijah Mikaelson doesn’t just lay with any woman. You had to be a freak on some level but he lucked out with you.
You’ve unbuttoned the top of his shirt, and you won’t stop kissing him. It’s like he’s hypnotized you (which he would never do, to Elijah your word is basically law) and you’re fully giving him power. Your hands fumble with his belt buckle and you make sure you run your hand over his erection a few times. He feels you smiling into his kisses as he jumps his hips into your hand.
The way you whimper when he picks you up and places you on your back on your shared mattress, he gets a smell of your perfume and can’t help the growl that escapes him. Then he’s holding you by your face as he demeans you just a bit for wanting him so bad.
“What would you do without me? There’d be no one to take care of you and we couldn’t have that could we?” Then he’s going to nibble you on your neck.
He decides, to hell with your dress. He could just rip it but he does like this dress on you and doesn’t feel like going to the store for a new one. He doesn’t want to take his hands off you. He doesn’t want to back away long enough to take off your dress. He pulls down the top to free your breast, stunned by their beauty like always. You had tan lines, one part of your skin a lighter brown than the rest. The area around your breast covered by your bikini more specifically when you two head out into the sun for a swim.
Your underwear he didn’t mind ripping off and you were trying your best to get as much of his shirt off as possible. One of you needed to be sensible though. So you pushed him off for just a moment and looked up at him while you tore off his belt. He was standing over you at the edge of the bed while you were on your knees still on the bed.
You wanted it so bad it made him laugh. You were looking at him with those big brown eyes and you were breathing heavily. He ran his hands over your braids, and couldn’t help but bite his lip when he imagined what he was about to do to you.
You yanked his pants down, and then his boxers. All seven and a half inches of him sprung out at you and you, ever eager, gave him a long lick. Elijah shuddered, it was like you just sent an electric shock up him. Good god you were something. But Elijah didn’t have the time for all that, because of course Elijah has to do something with his days. Like cleaning up after his siblings. He could always get a blowjob later. Maybe he’d give you some too. Who was he kidding? Elijah loved giving head like it was no one’s business. But I’ll write about that later.
Did I mention that he loves being on top of you? In the sense that he has to be on top of you intimately. Squished on top of you, while he fucks you and you cream all over him.
He slides into you and can’t help the groan that escapes him. His head rolls back on instinct, and you shudder entirely.
He starts moving, rocking his hips into yours the way you like. Warm and wet, and tight with your back arching slightly. He presses his chest down against yours with his shirt open and his suit jacket stuck against his sweaty skin. The bed starts rocking as he picks up the pace and pulls your head to look him in his eyes.
It’s your weak point naturally. Elijah knows he’s handsome that’s why he keeping looking at you like that. He knows you can’t handle staring him in the face like that, and that it makes you want to act all types of crazy when he’s inside of you.
He likes asking you questions while he pounds into you. He does it hard but in a way that doesn’t make you feel like he hates you.
“Tell me how you feel.” You know things along that line.
And when he gets close to cumming, you can see the veins under his eyes start to push to the surface. His breathing gets heavier, but the effect he has on you is so much worse. He doesn’t even know but the way he has you folded on your back, begging him to cum inside of you speaks volumes when you were usually such a composed woman. But Elijah usually wouldn’t be muttering nonsense about putting a baby in you (especially when you both know it isn’t possible) so it works.
He likes when you both cum at the same time. He likes squeezing your breast tenderly, with the right amount of aggression to turn you on. He’s in your head, filling your brain with filthy images. He’s talking you through it, and then you’re both cumming. Elijah cups your face and tosses his head back (partially because his instinct is to bite you and he doesn’t want to scare you by biting you with no warning) and you’re letting out moans that Elijah wants to die hearing.
Elijah loves to fuck. He loves the soft tender feeling of squishing you, and feeling you grind up against him. He’s loves spanking you when you act out (brat tamer Elijah is coming soon trust) of line. He loves squeezing your neck just slightly. He loves when you pull out your variety of freaky tricks and when you let him have full control over your body. He’s loves you above all else. And fucking your brains out is one of his favorite ways to show it.
༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻
You guys can’t stop me, I’m on a roll
Guys Elijah has literally possessed me and I’m very much happy about it. I will not stop writing about Elijah I don’t even care if this is bad I just needed people to see my thoughts about him. He’s been my man since I was ten.
Anyways I don’t really know what this is either, I was scrolling through tumblr and randomly saw some porn so now you guys get to read this. Love you all and thanks for reading 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
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sassybluebird · 23 days ago
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Quick! Go Hide
in which you prank the sleeping jjk men by telling them, 'You need to hide; my boyfriend's home!'...saw it on tiktok heh
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Satoru croaks, “Oh, shit. He is?” 
Groggily, he clambers out of bed and hides in the bathroom, bare feet padding. In the dark, he waits. Seconds pass and he shows no sign of realising what games you’re playing. When you go to collect him, you find him asleep, standing with his forehead pressed to the cold tile, drooling. 
“Is he gone?” He asks, voice raspy, shaken awake once again. You nod, biting your lip to keep from laughing. “Good ‘cause I’m too tired to fight anyone…I’d win though.” 
Soon after, in bed, he continues sleeping. And it’s only in the morning that you find him grinning and prodding your puffy cheek. “That was really funny, babe. Ten out of ten. No notes.”
Suguru's brows furrow. Without opening his eyes, he mutters, “Nice try.”
“No, really. You gotta go; he’ll kill you.” A curse emerges, large and foreboding, just watching in the corner of the room. Shivers wrack your body. It doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, nor utter a single sound. Still, the message is clear. You roll your eyes and cuddle into your boyfriend’s side. “You’re no fun.”
He tucks you in close. “Try again in the morning, pretty girl. I’m sure I’ll be more fun when I’m not half asleep.”
Choso startles awake, bloodshot eyes widening. “Oh no. What should we do?”
He lets you shove him into the closet, shirtless and hair a mess. There he stands patiently, shuffling on his feet and holding his breath. Then, when a minute passes, he has a moment of realisation. Creaking open, the closet door widens to reveal him – he looks unimpressed…and pouty. 
“I’m your only boyfriend; why do I need to hide?”
You giggle. “Sorry, Cho. It was just a joke.’
“I don’t really see what’s funny,” he grouches as he gets back into bed with you, wrapping his arms tight around your body and tucking his head in the crook of your neck, quickly forgetting your prank once his senses are overwhelmed with you. 
Toji peeks one eye at your faux panicked face. He shoves it away, grumbling under his breath about how much of a brat you are and shifts into a different position; he’s got his back turned to you now. Undeterred, you shake him one more time. “I’m being serious. You gotta hide, Toji.”
“Leave me alone, woman. I don’t wanna deal with your shit right now.”
You drape your entire body over his. His beefy arm comes around to keep you steady, in case you fall off the bed with your clumsy ass. “Okay, but if he beats you up and takes me away, your loss.”
He grunts. “I’d like to see anyone try.”
Then, to keep your mouth from disturbing his sleep any longer, he suffocates your face in between his pecs, a hand on your ass, groping it for compensation.
Kento jolts, hands grabbing you to push your body behind his. He scans the room, then the door, waits for the intruder, ready to defend. Only when he hears your stifled laughter does he truly process what you told him. He sighs, hand rubbing down his face. “Can’t sleep again, darling?”
“No. The baby keeps kicking me.” You smile when his warm palm caresses your stomach. 
Leaving a kiss on your forehead, he mutters, “I’ll give them a stern talking to; no child of mine hurts my wife. Now, would you like a midnight snack or should we stay up and watch the stars again?”
Lifted out of bed, he carries you in his arms, intent on keeping your bare feet from touching the cold floor. Even as sleep still courses through his veins, he’s determined to meet your every need – Kento couldn’t fall asleep again knowing you’re wide awake anyway. 
Sukuna doesn’t awaken. He’s as still as a corpse. You try again. And again. Nothing. When you pout and smack his chest, one of his four arms snatches your waist and slides you onto his huge body. Your ass is being patted, as is your head, and with another arm, he rubs your back. 
Calmly, his chest rumbles with his words. “All your previous partners are dead. No one will disturb us. Sleep.”
“Okay, Kuna…wait…no, they aren’t.”
He doesn’t reply, leaving you to wonder when he had the time to hunt them down one by one when he spends so much time never leaving your side in the first place. No answer comes to mind, not when his body can be so persuasive in pulling you to the land of slumber with him. Though, you are certain he whispers, ‘They will be,’ when he thinks you won’t hear. Try and follow up the next day though and he’ll shrug off your concerns with a, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
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sassybluebird · 24 days ago
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Heey! I love your writing so so much! Can you do something about Aizawa? :3
leaving a kiss on shota’s cheek before he teaches his class
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sunlight peeked through the curtains, causing you to wince and curl further into the warm, burly arms that wrapped around you protectively. the alarm clock beside you rang loud, and the man holding you sighed, waking up from his deep sleep. he turned and turned off the alarm clock, then turned back to you to pet your hair and rub your back.
shota kissed your forehead and grumbled, “good morning,” then softly spoke, “i need to get ready for work.”
you sighed and dug yourself deeper into his grasp, emitting a sigh and soft chuckle from him. after a few more minutes, you untangled your limbs and sat up, walking out of bed to make breakfast and put on some lipstick, which you would put to use later.
not even half an hour later, breakfast was done, and shota’s feet thumped down the stairs, revealing the outfit he normally wore to the school. you already plated the food, and. both of you sat down at the table, eating together while shota spoke about what had happened in school.
“i might stay after school to help shinso with his form for fighting. he wants to train more and learn how to use his scarf,” he stated, pausing in between bites to speak to you.
you nodded, “fine by me. that boy has great potential, i’m glad you’re his teacher, shota.” you complimented.
he gave you a soft smile, and once the two of you were done with your food, he walked to your side of the table and took all your dishes in one hand, then washed them one by one. you gave a small thank you and kissed his bicep, making his face heat up.
a few minutes later, he walked near the front of the door and stepped into his boots, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. with everything going on with the league of villains, he never liked leaving without saying a heartfelt goodbye. he never knew if it would be his last.
you grinned into the embrace he brought you into, and you rubbed your hand against his chest, softly pulling him down to give him a big, fat kiss on his cheek. it clearly left a mark, very visible, very clear that he had a wife at home.
you grinned at your work, and shota asked, “what?”
shaking your head, you spoke, “it’s nothing.” you murmured, “you’re just so handsome,” you paused. “anyway, have a good day with the kids!”
he chuckled and rubbed your cheek with his hand, speaking, “love you,” waiting for you to respond, then leaving to drive his car to UA.
you locked the door after him and laughed. you wondered how his students would react to the kiss mark on his cheek.
when shota walked into the campus, he got some weird looks from students passing by and even stares. he frowned right back at them, sternly speaking, “hurry to class.” and they would do so, sometimes even doing so much as running in the halls so they wouldn’t be late.
but when he walked into class 1-a’s room, everyone fell silent. it looked like some of the students, such as kaminari, sero, and mineta were trying not to laugh, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary. those three, though not always together, were always messing around in one way or another.
shota rolled his eyes and began teaching the class during their first period, and hours passed, students from different classes joined his room and they all looked like they were trying to not look at something. maybe people were feeling off today, it was a monday, after all. students were never normal when coming back to school.
it wasn't until his lunch break that he noticed the kiss mark on his cheek.
hizashi barged into the room, yelling, “heyyyy, shota— woah!” he cut himself off, grinning wildly and placing his hands on shota’s desk.
shota sighed and asked, “what?” curious as to why he was acting weird too.
“got some lovin’ from your lady back at home, huh? must love you a lot based on that mark!” his childhood best friend exclaimed, pointing to his cheek.
shota raised his eyebrow and pulled out his phone, opening the camera app and panning it to his face. there stood a dark red lipstick shape on his cheek, from you.
he grinned and sent a quick text to you, ‘let’s try out your other lipsticks later.’
he was interrupted by hizashi’s loud, booming voice, screaming, “you’re as red as a tomato, shota! you must really love this, huh?”
shota rolled his eyes and scoffed, “shut it.”
he did indeed love it.
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i’m so happy you love my writing, so i hope this is up to your expectations as well!
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sassybluebird · 25 days ago
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Stay the night ?
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summary : You’ve been best friends with Fratboy Gojo Satoru since freshman year, the golden boy of his frat, all big smiles and loud parties, always dragging you along despite your refusal to drink or smoke. But somewhere between late-night parties, quiet mornings, and the way he looks at you when he thinks you don’t notice… something shifts. And once the line blurs, there’s no going back.
pairing : satoru gojo x y/n
warnings : 18+, smut with plot, foreplay, cussing, mentions of alcohol and drugs, mild angst.
word count : 7.9k
art in cover by thatsallitchief
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“You’re wearing that?” Gojo leans against the doorframe of your dorm, grinning like the devil himself.
You glance down at your square neck shirt and sweatpants, “Yeah? What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing, if you’re planning to do my econ homework instead of going to the biggest party of the semester.” He winks. “But if you want to stand next to me all night, you might want to up the hot factor.”
You roll your eyes and grab your phone. Mind you, that shirt was not cheap. “I’m not trying to impress anyone.”
He snorts. “Yeah, that’s the problem.”
You flip him off after slipping your shoes on. He grins.
“Well I suppose it’s fine, you only need to impress me.”
-
You don’t drink. Never have. Don’t like the taste, don’t like the way it makes people sloppy. But Gojo? Gojo swims in red solo cups like he was born in one. He’s loud and stupid and radiant at these parties, throwing his arms around people like everyone’s his best friend.
But only you get the crooked grin he saves for when the music’s too loud and he leans in to say, “You good?”
Only you get the protective arm when the crowd gets too pushy. Only you get the water bottle he pulls from nowhere and hands you without asking.
You don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t party, but you go to all of them. Because he’s there.
Because he always wants you there. Stuck to his side every weekend since freshman year.
-
You’re sitting on the couch, half-listening to Shoko recounting a story about a tequila shot gone wrong, when Gojo stumbles over. His cheeks are pink, smile lazy, tie askew.
He plops down beside you, too close, thigh pressed against yours. That was Shoko’s cue to get up out of there for another drink.
“Hey.” He leans his head on your shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Why aren’t you talking to anyone?”
“I am talking. Kind of.” You nudge him. “And you’re drunk.”
“Mmm. Buzzed. Drunk’s a little harsh, sweetheart.” He turns to look at you, his voice growing softer now. “You tired? We can go.”
You blink. “You don’t want to stay?”
“I only come to these things for the vibes.” His lips twist up. “And the vibes leave when you look like you wanna disappear into the couch of doom.” He chuckles at his corny remark.
You can’t help but laugh at how stupid that sounded. “You’re such a liar. You come to these to show off. Beer pong king, or whatever you call yourself.”
He scoffs dramatically, acting like you just cursed his whole made up championship. “Excuse you. And also, I can’t show off if my best girl looks bored out of her mind.”
Best girl.
Your chest does a stupid fluttering thing.
-
Later, after he’s done fake punching his frat brothers goodbye, you walk back together in the cold night air. The party is still thumping in the distance, but Gojo’s quiet now, hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.
You’re thankful that you didn’t bother to change your outfit and worn heels despite having him mog you the entire night. You don’t get how the others can stand up for this long without taking a break on the many seats spread out the room.
“You didn’t have to leave early,” you murmur, “You were having fun.”
“I wasn’t.” He glances sideways. “Not really.”
You look at him, eyebrows furrowing. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. It’s just… less fun when you’re not smiling.”
And just like that, you’re melting again. It’s so unfair the way he does this, hides soft confessions under jokes and alcohol.
You stop walking. “Looks like chivalry isn’t dead after all.”
There’s a beat of silence before you ask, heart stupidly hopeful, “Why do you always want me there?”
Satoru blinks, confused. “Huh?”
“At the parties. You could go with anyone. You could go with a different girl every week if you wanted to. Not to boost your ego or anything.” You try to keep your voice even, whispering the last part. “But you always ask me.”
Gojo goes still. His eyes drop to your mouth for a half second too long.
Then he says, “Because it’s you.”
That’s it. Like it explains everything.
“Because I like being around you,” he continues, quieter now. “Because I feel better when you’re there. Because it’s not really fun unless I can turn around and see you rolling your eyes at me across the room.”
Your throat goes dry. “Satoru…”
He steps a little closer. His voice is low, nervous, like he’s trying, like he’s fighting himself.
“I always thought you weren’t into guys like me,” he says. “Loud. Messy. Frat-boy reputation and all that.”
You smile, heart racing. “I thought you weren’t into girls like me. Quiet. No fun. Buzzkill.”
Gojo laughs, short and disbelieving. “You think you’re no fun? You’re the only person who keeps me sane, nerd. You’re the only reason I don’t blow up this whole damn house sometimes.”
You both stare at each other. Your side eye upon hearing him call you a nerd vanishing. The wind picks up. Somewhere, someone’s yelling about beer pong.
And then, slowly, he reaches out, curling his pinky around yours.
Not a kiss. Not yet. “I’m so glad I talked to you that evening at Suguru’s party.”
“Be thankful for Shoko for ditching us,” You chuckle.
The first party you attended was during freshman year. You were sorta known but not known enough to be considered ‘popular’. You were sweet and smiled at people passing by.
Shoko had dragged you around with her, freezing at random places to greet people she knew, leaving you standing there awkwardly because you didn’t know them. Finally she stopped to greet Gojo, entering a conversation before departing when she heard someone yell “Shots!”
You picked at your freshly painted nails, looking everywhere except at the white haired man with pearly blue eyes, standing in front of you. You tried to look natural, so did Gojo. Which was weird because he can usually talk to anybody without a problem, except you. Why was he so shy?
“You coming to next week’s party?” he asks, trying to sound casual as you reach your dorm.
You grin. “Only if you’re saving me a seat.”
His smile is brighter than the streetlights.
“Always. Maybe on my lap this time.”
You roll your eyes, forcing yourself not to smile at his cheesy way of flirting. “Whatever. Are you sleeping here tonight?”
He doesn’t hesitate to nod, yawning as he locked your dorm door and guiding the both of you towards your room. He had his hand placed on the small of your back, his droopy eyes scanning around for the remote of your LED lights.
“Satoru. Just leave it, I’ll turn on my lamp,” you suggested while laying him down on the bed beside you. You reached over your desk, turning on the sunset lamp you had purchased not too long ago. The orangey-yellow hues brightening the corner of the room it was pointed at.
“Awe but the blue LED lights bring me some sort of ease,” he blabbers, like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you.
“Only blue though. Red is for..” He trialed off, making you roll your eyes knowing exactly where he was going with this. “You know.” He whispers in your ear.
Sometimes you question yourself if best friends do these types of stuff. Satoru always flirts, always looking at you with a glint in his eyes that he doesn’t have with anyone else, always cuddling with you when you two get home after a party, and always lingering closer than a best friend should be. Is he just being Satoru or is it more.
You pinch his ear before letting go. “Satoru,” You warned.
He winced. “Ow! Okay okay, I get it.”
He rubbed his ear and pulled you on top of him with his free hand, resting your head against his chest. His let go and slowly his hands found their way to your back, like they belong there, gently soothing you to sleep.
Sometimes, when you’re lucky. Satoru will sleep without snoring. When you’re extra lucky he won’t kick you in his sleep.
-
You don’t hate the frat parties.
The music is always too loud. Someone’s always spilling beer two inches from your shoes. And you inevitably end up being the only sober person in a sea of chaos.
But you come anyway. Every single time. Because Satoru always looks at you like you’re the only person that matters in the room.
This time you took the liberty of dressing up.
“You’re glowing tonight, Y/n,” Geto smirks over the lip of his cup, watching Satoru trail behind you like a six-foot puppy with no leash.
Satoru Gojo, dressed in a white shirt and black basketball shorts, a back hoodie throwing over his shoulder, beer in one hand, joint behind his ear like a decoration.
“I didn’t even put on makeup,” you say, sipping a cup of soda.
“Exactly,” Shoko chimes in from the corner. “You don’t have to.”
Gojo shoots them both a glare. “Back off.”
“Ohhh, possessive,” Toji whistles, lounging against the kitchen island. “You two still pretending you’re just friends?”
“We are friends,” Satoru says automatically, even as he casually adjusts your dress straps for you, fingers brushing your arm. “She just likes coming with me.”
“I like the free soda,” you lie, avoiding everyone’s knowing looks. You won’t deny that it hurt whenever he claims you two were merely just ‘friends’
The truth is, you like going with him.
Not because of the parties. Not because of the attention, even though you know you get it pretty girls always do, especially when they walk in beside Satoru Gojo with his arm slung across their shoulders like it belongs there.
You like it because the second you step into that house, it’s like the world goes quiet.
Because Satoru never lets you fade into the background. Because he always saves you a seat, always brings you a drink, always remembers the straw. Because even while he’s being loud and stupid with his friends, he’s glancing over to check if you’re okay.
Because you feel like his person.
Even if he’s never said it.
“You sure you’re not cold?” he asks for the third time, tugging at the strap of your dress, an odd habit of his.
“You already offered me your hoodie, Satoru.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the thick one. Next time I’ll bring that big stupid one with the sherpa lining. The one you said made me look like a polar bear.”
You laugh. “You do look like a polar bear in it.”
He grins, bright and unbothered. “A sexy polar bear, though.”
You roll your eyes, but your smile betrays you.
He always makes you smile.
-
From room to room, drink to drink, lap to lap of conversation but always together. If Gojo’s talking to Suguru in the kitchen, you’re leaning against the counter next to him, sipping something fizzy from his cup.
If you’re chatting with Maki and Panda in the living room, Gojo is lounging behind you, long legs spread across the couch, one arm looped lazily around your waist.
He doesn’t need to speak every second, he just likes touching you. A thigh against yours, fingers brushing your wrist, your knee tucked over his. Like the silence between you two is just as loud as his voice.
-
Later, when the music slows and the crowd thins, you’re sitting together in the back room again, away from the chaos.
Gojo’s legs are stretched out. Yours are tucked under you. His hoodie hangs heavy on your frame, and you swear you’ve never felt safer.
He watches you like he always does when he thinks you’re not looking, like he’s memorizing you. His blue eyes wide like saucers.
“You know you don’t have to come to these,” he says suddenly, voice softer than before. “I wouldn’t be mad.”
“I know.”
“But you do anyway.”
You meet his eyes. “I only come for you. Not for the lukewarm beer, the music, nor the stupid ‘fun’ you boys claim to have.”
The words hang there. Undeniable. A little scary.
Gojo swallows. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Yeah?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
He leans his head back against the couch, exhales slowly.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Geto says, walking into the room and seeing the two of you curled up like a rom-com final scene. “If you’re gonna pin this hard, at least kiss her so we can all stop pretending you aren’t madly in love.”
“Geto, shut up,” Gojo groans, ruffling his hair over his eyes.
You laugh, really laugh and squeeze Gojo’s hand tighter.
“Ignore them,” he says under his breath. “They’re just jealous I have the prettiest girl here.”
You look at him sideways. “You’re such a flirt.”
He leans in, brushing his nose against your temple.
“You always say that, sweetheart,” he whispers “Only with you.”
Like a typical frat party the voices of jocks rang into your ear as they yelled out for Gojo to join them.
“Beer pong champion, they’re looking for you,” you chuckle.
Gojo groans, “Duty calls.”
He winks your way before shooting up and walking to the table, ready for another match. You giggle at his antics. There is truly never a dull moment in the parties whenever he’s around.
-
You’re back in your corner of the room, phone in hand pretending to be busy so you can avoid unwanted conversations. You hear Shoko calling your name from across the room but you know if you got up you’d get dragged into an endless conversation with her and Maki.
You flash her a smile before returning back to your phone, opening and closing it. Your wallpaper was set on photo roulette mode, the background changes whenever you close it. You had set the pictures to be of you and Gojo, sometimes pictures of landscapes.
It wasn’t weird to have your ‘bestfriend’ as your lock screen, he has you as his. It wasn’t weird to have a polaroid of the two of you behind your clear phone case. No. It felt natural.
“Y/n, come on.” Maki drags you by the arm, making you stand up from the soft seated couch. “Live a little.”
You close your phone once again before walking behind her. “I am living. Last time I checked, I was breathing perfectly fine,” you joked.
All you got was an eye roll from Maki, making you chuckle.
“Smartass.” She says as she handed you a cup filled with juice. The people who usually attend know you don’t drink. They knew you’d refuse, handing them back the cup every time they’d try and convince you to at least try whatever concoction they created. Probably a mixture of don julio and hennessy. The liquor Satoru usually drinks if he wants to change it up from his usual beers.
It’s sort of weird. Satoru doesn’t smell bad per say. He smelt like a hint of alcohol or a little bit of weed, but he never smelt bad. You’d light his blunts for him with the lighter you carry around because you know how whiney he gets after realizing he forgot his. He says it kills his entire vibe even though he forgets about it 10 minutes later.
He didn’t smell like the other frat boys. You never had to make a face or look the opposite way whenever he comes close to you.
Satoru smells like Satoru. He smells like his expensive cologne that he claims to be “trending” all over the fragrance part of tiktok. He smelt like home.
Cheers echoed loudly, overpowering the loud speakers playing jersey beats. A group of boys chanting Satoru’s name, over and over again. A clear indication that the ‘Beer pong champion’ claimed another victory. Really, you don’t even know why people still want to challenge him.
Maki soon drifted apart from you, finding her way to the kitchen for another drink. You stood near a wall, staring off into the distance, your hand clutching your phone.
You glanced down, checking the time. It’s currently past midnight. The party is still alive as it was when it first started. Sukuna was well known to throw successful parties.
You sighed, your feet ache, your head was starting to hurt, and your eyes were drooping. Yet you never once thought about leaving without Gojo by your side. You’re in charge of making sure he even makes it back to his dorm.
-
Later close to 3 am the party was finally dying down. People getting dragged out by their more sober friends, some who didn’t even make it outside of the door, laying unconscious on the floor. The air smelt like heavy smoke and alcohol.
Red cups everywhere, ash trays left on the tables while decorations once hanging up were now on the ground.
You made your way through the hallway, looking for the 6 foot usual ball of energy. Your eyes scanned around before finally landing on him. Gojo stumbling a little bit, walking towards you with a doopey grin.
“Satoru,” you whispered, hiding back a smile “you’re drunk.”
“No sweetheart, I told you- not drunk! just buzzed.”
He draped an arm around your shoulder, his other one finding its way to your waist, holding it like he always does. His head rests against your shoulder, his white hair tickling your face.
“Let’s get out of here, please,” he said, mumbling the last part.
You didn’t hesitate to let him lean up against you while you guided the both of you outside. The fresh air, free from the pollution called frat parties, filling your lungs.
You took a deep breath while Gojo mumbled drunk words against your skin. “Mhmmm sleepy.”
With a sigh you hurried up your pace, practically dragging him towards your dorm. “Almost there.”
The moment you entered your room Gojo collapsed onto your bed, body sprawled out and eyes closed. Not a care in the world. ‘Buzzed’ he claims.
You placed a hand on your forehead, sighing in exhaustion. Inspecting the sight in front of you you realize his shirt was beginning to ride up his stomach, his v line peeking from under his toned abs. You caught yourself, quickly shaking your head and looking away.
You throw a blanket over him, turning around to close your lights and turning the lights he claims that soothes him. The clock on your desk read 4 am.
You hear Satoru mumble your name from under the covers, making you look down at him. “Y/n..”
You hum before slipping under the white, strawberry patterned duvet, “Mhm?”
“I love you,” he whispers casually. You freeze
‘What?’ was the first thing you can think of. You open your mouth but failed to speak any words, not even a sound came out. You forced yourself to speak up, not wanting to ruin the moment or make him feel like you don’t love him back.
But then doubt kicks in, what if he’s just babbling drunk thoughts? No, you can’t embarrass yourself.
“Satoru you should probably go brush your teeth-“ Snore.
You let out a loud groan. Tonight seemed to be one of the unlucky ones. Satoru was snoring and drooling.
-
And that was it. You never mentioned it and he didn’t seem to remember it.
Since then, things have been… weird.
Not on the surface. Gojo’s still Gojo. Still texts you dumb memes. He still touches you a little too much. Still throws his arm around your shoulders when you’re standing around campus. Still looks at you like you’ve hung the stars. Still acts like you’re the best part of every room he walks into.
But the closeness feels different now. Too sharp. Too hopeful. Too dangerous.
Because what if none of it meant anything? What if it’s just him being him? And what if you read too much into it?
He’s Gojo Satoru. King of the party scene. Six foot something, frat boy energy, infuriatingly good looking. And you’re… just you.
-
So you retreat.
You don’t mean to. You tell yourself you’re just busy.
You bury yourself in schoolwork. In your job. In every commitment you can find. You say yes to every extra shift at the campus cafe. You start getting ahead on assignments no one’s assigned yet. You even ignore a couple of his texts, not ghosting him, just spacing them out. Being “busy.” Master of sabotage.
You don’t mean to pull away, but you do. No more late night calls. No more tagging along to parties. No more pretending like your heart doesn’t race every time he looks at you too long.
If he noticed something changed, he didn’t say it.
If he cared, he’d say something… right?
You’re not mad at him.
You’re mad at yourself for thinking, even for a second, that someone like him could fall for someone like you.
-
The knock comes just after 10 p.m.
It’s late and you’re halfway through writing an essay that isn’t due for another week. Your eyes are bleary, you’re wearing the same hoodie from yesterday, and your room’s lit only by your laptop screen and a half-dead string of fairy lights.
You almost don’t answer.
But then you hear his voice:
“Y/n? You in there?”
Your stomach twists.
You debate not answering. You debate crawling under your desk and pretending you’re asleep. But your feet move on their own, and when you open the door, there he was.
Gojo Satoru, in a hoodie and joggers, hair pushed back like he’s been pacing. His usual cocky grin is nowhere to be found.
“Hey,” he says, voice softer than usual. “Can I come in?”
You step aside.
He walks in like your room is familiar. Because it is.
And you realize, painfully, that this is the longest you’ve gone without seeing him. He looks you over really looks and his eyes drop to the pile of papers on your desk, the untouched dinner, the overstuffed planner on your nightstand.
“What’s going on with you?” he asks after a long beat. “You’ve been distant. And don’t say it’s just ‘school.’”
You hesitate. Then go with the safest answer: “I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve always been busy,” he says gently. “But not like this.”
You busy yourself gathering papers off your desk. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”
He looks almost hurt by that. “Of course I noticed. Busy for you is good… I suppose, but not like this. Not when it’s hurting you.”
Something bubbles in your chest, something ugly and sad and fragile. “I don’t know what you want from me, Satoru.”
He tilts his head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just-“
His lips part like he’s about to speak, but you rush on.
“You say things. You look at me like I matter. But then nothing happens. I have constant self doubt, no matter what. I can never convince myself that what I’m doing is right and not a mistake. And I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t mess with me.”
It’s the closest you’ve ever come to saying I like you.
You don’t look at him.
You’re afraid of what’s on his face, pity? Confusion? Worse?
Instead, you say, quietly, “Maybe I just needed space to figure it out.”
Gojo is silent for a long moment. Then he exhales, stepping closer. Your heart stutters.
“No, you don’t,” he adds when you don’t respond. “Because if you did, you wouldn’t be trying to disappear on me.”
You meet his eyes then and it nearly breaks you.
Because there’s no teasing in his expression. No smirk. Just raw honesty.
You whisper. “I thought if I said anything, it would ruin it, you know, us being best friends. I’m not really the venting type of person.”
He smiles, but it’s soft. Tired. “You pulling away is what almost ruined it.”
You blink, trying to swallow the knot in your throat.
He steps even closer, toeing the edge of your personal space like he always does.
“And I’m not gonna stop trying,” he adds, voice barely above a whisper, “unless you ask me to. Don’t burn yourself out trying to prove you’re worth something you
You ask, shakily, “So… what now?”
He grins a little just enough to lighten the air.
“Well,” he says, pulling something out of his hoodie pocket. It’s a folded flyer. Hand-drawn. Probably by Geto. “I’m hosting a party on Saturday. It’s gonna be outside by the bond fire.”
You give him a tired look. “I’m not really in a party mood.”
“I figured you’d say that,” he says. Then his voice softens. “But I was hoping you’d come anyway.”
You blink. “Why?”
“Because I want you there,” he says.
His eyes find yours.
“I want you to come as my date.”
It’s quiet after that. Your heart beats so loud it’s all you can hear.
Gojo runs a hand through his hair, suddenly a little nervous. “You don’t have to answer right now. I just… thought it would be a good idea. I mean most of them are bringing a plus one.”
You nod slowly.
Then, quietly:
“Okay.”
He stills. “Okay?”
“I’ll come,” you say, lips curving up. “As your date.”
He exhales like he’s been holding his breath all week. Then his grin returns, bright, wide, impossibly him.
“You’re gonna look so good, I’m not gonna survive.”
You roll your eyes, but your cheeks burn. He reaches the door, hand on the knob, then pauses.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, one last time. You meet his gaze, softer now.
“I think I will be.”
And with that, he leaves. But his smile lingers.
-
You don’t even knock. You just step into the party the way you always do, quiet, unnoticed, somewhere between unsure and familiar. But this time, you’re not alone.
This time, you’re his date.
The house is buzzing the second you arrive, not chaotic like usual, but warm. Music hums through the speakers in the backyard, where strings of lights glow between trees and paper lanterns. There’s no beer pong, no packed kitchen, no loud bass shaking the walls.
It feels more like a gathering than a party. Intimate.
Intentional.
You spot Geto and Shoko by the fire pit, Yuta curled up in a hoodie next to Panda, who is definitely roasting marshmallows too aggressively.
And then you see him.
Gojo, standing near the back steps, laughing with Nanami and Utahime. White shirt hugging his frame, blue eyes scanning the yard like he’s looking for-
He spots you.
And just like that, his smile softens. Warms. Becomes something only you get to see.
“Hey,” he says when he reaches you, like he didn’t text you three times earlier asking if you were still coming. Like he hasn’t clearly been waiting.
You look up at him, nervous, unsure, hopeful. “Hey.”
His eyes flick over you quickly, like he’s trying not to stare. You dressed simple, but he still looks at you like you’re the only thing glowing brighter than the lights overhead.
“You look…” He falters for a second, grinning. “Really pretty.”
You smile, shy. “Thanks.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Wanna hang by the fire? Or you want the tour first? There’s a s’mores station with your name on it. I may have hoarded the good chocolate.”
You laugh genuinely, easily. “Fire sounds good.”
The party flows around you, but it feels like you’re in your own bubble.
You sit beside him by the fire, knees just barely brushing. He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t pull anything bold but every now and then, he leans in close to say something. Something just for you.
And you don’t pull away.
You don’t even think to.
Because when Gojo laughs and leans into your shoulder, it feels like something you’ve already known for a long time.
Like it was always supposed to be this way.
“I missed this,” he says quietly, later in the night. “Missed you.”
You glance at him, eyes soft in the flickering firelight, his hands cupped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate.
“I didn’t go anywhere,” you whisper.
He meets your gaze.
“Felt like you did,” he says. “For a while.”
You look down. “I was just scared.”
“I know,” he says, and there’s no judgment in his voice. “Me too.”
You breathe in slowly. The fire crackles beside you.
Then:
“But I’m here now.”
He nods. “Yeah. You are.”
It doesn’t feel like a confession. It doesn’t feel like fireworks or declarations or “I’ve always loved you.”
It just feels right.
And maybe that’s better. People notice.
Of course they do.
Geto nudges Gojo when you’re off grabbing a drink. “You’re basically one slow dance away from being an actual couple.”
Gojo rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”
“You’re smiling like a dumbass,” Shoko adds, sipping her drink. “It’s weirdly endearing.”
Even Nanami, who barely raises an eyebrow at anything, mutters, “Took you long enough.”
Gojo doesn’t deny it.
He just glances toward the back deck, where you’re chatting with Yuuji, your laugh quiet but real.
And he smiles again.
-
Later, when most of the yard has emptied and only the glow of the fire remains, you find yourselves side by side on the porch steps. Close, but not touching.
The silence is comfortable.
Not like before.
He nudges your knee with his.
“You tired?”
You shake your head. “No. Just… happy.”
He looks at you. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
There’s a long pause, the kind that holds too much.
And then, softly:
“Can I ask you something?”
You nod.
Gojo’s eyes search yours like he’s still scared you might disappear.
“Is this… okay?” he asks. “Us. Like this. Closer.”
You exhale. The warmth in your chest feels like it could light the whole backyard.
“Yeah,” you say, voice quiet. “It’s more than okay.”
And that’s it.
No kiss. No need to say more.
You just lean your head on his shoulder.
And Gojo who’s always loud, always dramatic goes still and soft beside you. Like the moment matters too much to risk breaking.
You stay like that until the fire burns out.
-
It starts with Sukuna.
Pierced tongue. Permanent smirk. Always skipping class.
He joins the same philosophy lecture you and Gojo have been half-ignoring all semester. But while Gojo mostly doodles on your notes and sends you stupid memes during class, Sukuna- Sukuna talks to you.
A lot.
He sits next to you one day when Gojo’s late. Offers gum. Comments on your handwriting. Makes you laugh, once. Gojo sees it when he walks in.
Sees you turn toward Sukuna instead of him. Sees Sukuna lean into your space, too close, too casual.
He doesn’t say anything that day.
But it sticks.
It builds from there.
You run into Sukuna at the library. Then again near the rec center. Then again when you’re with Maki grabbing food.
“Popular,” Gojo teases lightly. “He following you or something?”
You laugh. “I think he just likes talking.”
But the thing is, you don’t realize Gojo isn’t teasing. He’s dead serious.
He’s watching. Always. Quietly.
Watching Sukuna make you laugh in ways he used to. Watching him lean against walls and flash you that cocky little grin. Watching you not pull away.
And he hates it.
Worse, he hates how much it bothers him.
The realization doesn’t hit Gojo all at once.
It’s slow.
A sick warmth in his stomach when Sukuna shows up at the same party you and Gojo are at. Sukuna always attends the frat parties, why does this one feel so different? Gojo invited you. Sukuna just… appears.
He watches the way you talk with him near the drinks table. He doesn’t approach. Doesn’t pull you away. But he watches. Tight lipped. Drinking too fast.
Shoko eventually corners him. “You’re spiraling.”
“I’m fine,” he says.
“You’re glaring at that guy like he owes you money.”
Gojo sips his drink. “He’s weird.”
“You’re jealous.”
“I am not-“ he starts, then stops.
Shoko just gives him a look. And that’s when it hits him.
Oh.
-
That night, Gojo doesn’t text you.
The next day, he cancels plans. “Frat stuff.”
You shrug it off. You’re used to him being busy.
But you don’t miss the shift. The distance. And it hurts more than you want to admit.
Then comes the snap.
You text him to help you review for a quiz. He agrees, reluctantly. You meet in your dorm, like old times.
But he’s off the second he walks in. No teasing. No dumb jokes. No light shoulder bumps.
Just quiet tension.
You tilt your head. “You okay?”
He flips through your notes. “You and Sukuna are getting close.”
You freeze. “What?”
“I mean, he’s everywhere lately. Study buddies now, too?”
You blink, slow. “Why are you bringing this up?”
“I just didn’t realize you had a type.”
There’s a bite to it. You flinch.
“Gojo-“
“Satoru.”
You pause.
“Why are you acting like this?” you ask, softer.
He exhales hard. “Because I thought-“
He breaks off. Runs a hand through his hair. He needs to know. Needs to ask. Needs to tear the damn bandaid off before it gets worse.
“I thought it was me. I thought I was the one you looked at like that.”
The silence after is a vacuum.
“You are,” you say, quietly.
Gojo looks up. Stunned.
“I only laughed at Sukuna because he asked if you were my boyfriend and I panicked,” you admit. “I said we were just friends and he smirked like he knew.”
You look down.
“And I hated that he might’ve been right.”
Gojo is across the room before you finish breathing. You don’t miss the fact at how his pupils are more dilated than usual.
The kiss is slow and loaded.
No crash. No firestorm. Just weight.
Like the moment’s been waiting for months, and now it’s finally time.
His hands cradle your face.
“You’re mine,” he says. It’s not a question.
You nod. “Yeah.”
He kisses you again. This time deeper. Hungrier.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispers against your lips.
“Then take it,” you whisper back.
The room burns.
Your shirt comes off first, his hoodie next.
He kisses down your throat, slow and reverent. Like he’s discovering something forbidden.
“You’re so soft,” he murmurs. “So fucking pretty.”
You gasp as his hand slips under your waistband. He’s careful. Focused. Watching you fall apart like it’s something he needs.
He hesitates, not wanting to force you. Not wanting to do anything out of your comfort zone. He loves you.
You notice his hesitation and tugged him closer. “Want you. Please.”
He sucks in a breath. “Say it again.”
“I want you, Satoru.”
He rolls his head back and groans like he’s losing his mind.
He pulls down the comfortable pajama shorts you’re wearing. Whistling upon seeing your lace panties. “You always wearing these?” he teases.
You put your hand up to his bare chest and push him away, jokingly. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment. “No, they so happened to be the first pair that I grabbed.”
He chuckles, the deep chuckle that makes your throat go dry, the bottom of your stomach twist with desire. “That’s hot, sweetheart. They’re my favourite color.”
He leans in to bite your ear, making you gasp. Satoru is quick, he knows what he wants. He slowly trailed his hand down towards your clothed pussy, rubbing it gently.
“Fuck- baby, it’s leaking,” he says with a smirk.
You can’t see his face but you already know what smug expression he’s making. That asshole.
“Satoru,” you warn, no malice or disrespect behind it, just neediness.
“Heard ya, princess.”
He slips his hand in your waist band, slowly circling his thumb over your clit, making you jolt. You lean your body against his, muffling your soft moans against his skin.
Then you feel the stretch. His long fingers entering you, slow and deliberate. Your slick coating it.
“All this just from me talking?” he grins. His lips trailing kisses down jaw all the way to your neck. His tongue licking your sweet spot.
“Just-“ you stutter, “just put it in, you tease.”
“Say please.” His hands grip your hips, then your waist, then your face. He walks you backwards toward your bed, lips never leaving yours.
You gasp when the backs of your knees hit the mattress. He pulls back, just a breath, eyes dark.
“Tell me to stop,” he pants. “If you want me to.”
You shake your head, already breathless. “Don’t.”
In a flash you were on your back with Gojo placed in between your legs, your panties tossed to the ground, the tip of his cock teasing your entrance.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against your chest. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
You arch beneath him, gasping as he kisses your ribs, your stomach, your hips.
“I dreamed of this,” he confesses, voice shaking. “More than once.”
You’re trembling when he finally slips inside—slow, deep, overwhelming.
You moan into his neck, gripping his shoulders. You cling to him, tears pricking the corners of your eyes from the painful stretch and how good it feels, how real.
“Don’t stop,” you whisper. “Please, don’t stop.”
“You okay?” he whispers, forehead pressed to yours.
“Yes,” you breathe. “So much.”
He thrusts slow, like he’s savoring every inch of you.
“You feel like home,” he pants. “Like you were made for me.”
Your legs tighten around him. His hand laces with yours. It’s everything you never said, poured into movement.
You come first, body shaking, eyes glassy. He follows moments after, burying his face in your shoulder as he falls apart. Groaning in your ear.
-
After, you lie tangled in sheets, his fingers tracing circles on your bare back.
“I hate that it took Sukuna to get me to say something,” he mumbles.
You smile into his chest. “He was kind of helpful, actually.”
He groans. “Don’t ever say that again.”
You giggle. Then softer, “You’re really mine now?”
His hand curls into your hair.
“I’ve always been yours,” he says. “Even when I didn’t know it.”
-
Mornings with him are different now.
He’s still chaotic, still wakes up with bedhead and somehow makes pouring cereal sound dramatic but now he’s yours. And he acts like it.
You wake up to his hand on your waist and his breath in your hair. His leg always ends up tangled with yours. He grumbles if you try to get out of bed too early.
“Just five more minutes,” he mumbles against your shoulder.
“You said that fifteen minutes ago.”
“I’m serious this time.”
You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. Because underneath the dramatic sighs and sleepy whining, Gojo’s hand never lets go of yours.
-
Breakfast becomes a thing.
Not fancy, usually cereal, toast, maybe eggs if he’s feeling ambitious. But he makes sure you eat before class.
“You’re not leaving here without food,” he says, sliding a banana into your bag. “Girlfriend privileges. I worry about you now.”
You snort. “You didn’t worry about me before?”
“I did! Silently.”
You raise a brow.
“Okay, loudly, but in my own way,” he amends, grinning. “Which mostly involved buying you Red Bulls and pretending it wasn’t concern.”
Walking to class together has always been in your routine.
He meets you outside your dorm even if it means being late himself. He carries your bag half the time, just because. He holds your hand like he needs to.
People stare now, but it’s not the usual Gojo-stare. It’s softer. Curious.
You overhear one girl whisper, “They’re really together?”
Another replies, “I thought she was just his best friend…”
And Gojo just smirks, squeezes your hand tighter, and loudly kisses your temple like the smug bastard he is.
His place becomes your second home.
You leave a toothbrush there. Then a hairbrush. Then half your sleep clothes.
“Is this a drawer?” you ask one day, opening a newly cleared-out space in Gojo’s dresser.
“It’s your drawer,” he says, smug. “Started making it after the first night you stayed over.”
“You’re insane. That was a long time ago.”
“I’m prepared.”
You roll your eyes, but later, you put your favorite hoodie in there. You kind of like that he planned ahead.
Studying together becomes dangerous.
He’s distracting.
He keeps poking your thigh under the table.
Keeps whispering stupid jokes.
Keeps staring at you with that annoying grin.
Keeps leaning over your shoulder, pretending to read, but really just wanting to be close.
“Stop looking at me like that,” you mutter.
“I’m studying.”
“You’re literally not.”
“I’m studying you.”
You shove his notebook at him.
He grins. “Was that foreplay?”
“Satoru.”
He memorized your schedule.
Shows up between classes with coffee. Walks you to the library. Waits outside your labs.
Sometimes, you don’t even realize he’s there until he slides next to you on a bench and offers half a cookie.
“Been waiting long?” you ask.
“Only forever,” he says, but he’s smiling.
And you know he’d wait again.
Some nights you stay in.
You curl up in his bed with Netflix on and snacks scattered across the blanket. His hand is always around your waist, even when he’s half-asleep.
He lets you steal his clothes. His shampoo. His chargers.
He lets you fall asleep on his chest and only shifts to kiss your forehead.
“Love you,” he whispers one night. It slips out between breaths, not even part of the conversation.
You freeze.
He doesn’t.
Just tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and repeats it.
“Love you. Not scared about it anymore.”
You kiss him, slow, soft, deep.
“I love you too.”
-
You don’t even tell the others.
But they know. All of them are varying levels of unsurprised.
The second you and Satoru walk in together, not just side by side, but together, like gravity pulled you that way it’s over. They can see it all.
Gojo doesn’t let go of you once.
His hand stays low on your back. Yours brushes his fingers every few steps. He’s smiling, but not in his usual chaotic way.
He’s softer tonight. Quieter. Like he’s not looking to be the loudest person in the room for once. Like his attention is already full.
You’d gone over together many times, obviously. You got ready in his room, shoved your lip gloss in his back pocket. He’d watched you get dressed from the bed, doing nothing to hide the way his eyes traveled slowly, unashamed.
“You always this pretty, or are you trying to kill me tonight?”
You threw a pillow at his head. He caught it and kissed it like an idiot.
Now, at the party, the others see it instantly.
It’s not just the handholding. It’s the way he leans into you when you laugh. The way you fix the collar of his hoodie without thinking. The way he watches you walk away, eyes glued to your back like you’re the only thing he’s ever followed in his life.
-
“God,” Maki groans as she watches you two across the living room. “It’s worse now.”
“They were already like this,” Shoko mutters, sipping something neon.
“No, but now it’s legally sanctioned.” Nobara gestures as Gojo tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “There’s nothing stopping him. He’s unstoppable.”
“They’ve always been like this. Now they just kiss in front of us.”
Maki is the first to say anything.
She corners you near the kitchen, squints like she’s solving a puzzle.
“You’re glowing,” she accuses.
You try (badly) to play it off. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Bullshit.” She leans in. “You look freshly ruined and spiritually fulfilled. That’s Gojo glow.”
You nearly choke on your drink.
Before you can deny it, Shoko walks past. “Finally.”
You gasp. “You all knew?!”
Yuta passing through, uninterested mutters, “Yeah. We’ve been over it since last semester.”
Even Panda chimes in from the couch. “I lost ten bucks on how long it would take.”
Meanwhile, Gojo’s got his own interrogation squad.
Suguru smirks from across the pong table. “You seem settled.”
Gojo takes a casual sip of his drink. “I’m good.”
“Is that her hoodie?”
Gojo smirks. “Nope. Mine. But she stole it first.”
Suguru raises a brow. “So it’s official?”
Gojo nods, that stupidly satisfied look spreading on his face.
“You tell her you love her yet?”
Gojo blinks.
“Because you do,” Suguru adds casually. “You’ve been in love with her since that stupid Halloween party freshmen year.”
“Okay, relax,” Gojo mutters, cheeks flushing.
-
Gojo slips behind you while you’re talking with Panda, slides an arm around your waist and leans in like it’s instinct.
“You okay?” he murmurs against your ear.
You nod. “They’re all bullying me.”
He kisses your temple, shameless. “Good. You deserve it.”
You try to nudge him but you’re smiling.
And so is he.
There’s a quiet in his body tonight, not bored, not tired, but anchored. Like you settled something deep in him. Like he’s finally breathing the way he always wanted to.
You drift together through the party.
He holds your hand under the beer pong table.
You steal his fries.
He kisses your cheek without thinking.
You play with his rings when you’re bored.
Sukuna shows up around ten, smirking as always. He catches sight of the way Gojo’s arm is curled protectively around your hips, and just lifts a brow.
“Guess I missed my shot,” he says dryly.
Gojo grins, all teeth. “You never had one.”
You smack his chest, but Sukuna just laughs.
“Wasn’t trying to steal her, anyway. Just wanted to piss you off.”
“You did,” Gojo says, grinning harder. “And it worked.”
Sukuna laughs.
The night drips by in warm gold.
Gojo takes dumb pictures of you on his phone. You steal his hoodie halfway through the night. He sings part of a song into your neck even though he’s off-key and way too loud.
You end up on the couch together, you in his lap, his arms snug around you.
People pass and grin. Some whisper. Someone asks Gojo, jokingly, “Damn, did you finally lock her down?”
He laughs. Looks down at you. “Nope. She locked me down.”
You blink at him, and he kisses you. Again.
You lose count of how many times he kisses you that night.
Later, you find yourselves tucked on a porch bench while the music thumps inside.
The cold nips at your skin but Gojo wraps his hoodie tighter around you, tugs you between his legs.
“You good?” he asks again, gently.
You look up at him.
His hair’s a mess. His lips are a little pink. His eyes are soft in a way they never used to be like he finally let the walls down.
“I’m good,” you say honestly.
He leans his forehead to yours. “This doesn’t feel real.”
“It is.”
He cups your cheek. “We really did it, huh?”
You nod, teasing. “I mean, you could still ruin it.”
“Oh, definitely,” he laughs. “But now you’re stuck with me.”
You sigh dramatically. “Such a demanding boyfriend.”
You lean in and kiss him, just soft, just long enough to feel it in your chest.
He hums against your lips.
When you pull back, he whispers, “Let’s leave soon.”
You tilt your head. “Why?”
His hands slip under the hem of your shirt, warm on your skin. “Because I want you all to myself. Please, can you stay the night?”
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sassybluebird · 27 days ago
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A Soft Place to Fall
Azriel x Reader
Summary: When Azriel finds himself drawn to her warmth, her curves, her unapologetic softness, he knew he didn't stand a chance; and once he finally gave in, he'd never crawl back out of her arms, or her bed, again.
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Azriel had spent five centuries mastering silence. He could slip through shadows, read a room with one flick of his cold golden eyes, and kill a man before his target ever heard a footstep.
And yet none of it prepared him for you.
None of it protected him from the way your laughter—bright, unfiltered—sank under his skin like sunlight in a place he’d long since left dark. Or the way you walked into a room with curves that refused to be quiet, hips that swayed like they knew his eyes were on them, thighs that whispered promises in the cradle of his dreams.
You were soft where others were sharp. Loud where others tiptoed around his silence. And you were kind to him. Kind. You looked at him like he wasn’t a weapon. Like he was a man.
And gods, he was fucked.
It started with glances.
One night at the River House, your thigh had brushed against his under the table. Just a second. Just a spark. But Azriel had spent the rest of dinner sitting stone-still, sweat between his shoulder blades, trying not to glance down at where the curve of your legs pressed so innocently against his. Like you didn’t know what you were doing.
He knew. Or hoped.
He went home that night and fucked his hand with your name on his tongue.
Over the following weeks, it only got worse.
His shadows told on him. Whispers of you undressing, fingers brushing lotion over your skin. Your voice, singing softly in your room when you thought no one was listening. The bond—Cauldron, the bond—was growing louder, insistent now, humming in his bones every time you walked by.
He began to crave you like blood. And it made him sloppy.
Sparring with Cassian? He caught a glimpse of you stretching on the sidelines and missed a block, got knocked on his ass. Mission debriefing with Rhys? Azriel didn’t hear a word—because you’d walked in wearing a dress that hugged the dip of your waist and the swell of your hips like a sin.
But he couldn’t touch. Not yet.
He didn’t know if you felt it. The bond. The way it pulled on him like a hook in his ribs, dragging him closer to you with every breath. You deserved more than a man who didn’t know how to be soft. A man who burned and bled and broke.
But then… you smiled at him.
That day in the training ring, your face flushed, thighs trembling from the workout, sweat glistening between your breasts—he snapped.
"You alright?" you asked gently, blinking up at him as he stalked toward you, dark and silent.
"No," he said hoarsely. “No, I’m not.”
You looked up at him with that wide-eyed kindness, a little confused, a little wary. “Az…?”
“I need to show you something.”
He didn’t give you time to overthink. Just took your hand and led you through the House—past the halls where his shadows curled and listened, past the tension thrumming in his chest—to the bathing chamber. Quiet. Private.
Sacred.
When the door shut behind you, you stood very still. “Is something wrong?”
Azriel turned to you, heart in his throat. “I think you’re my mate.”
Silence. Thick. Shocking.
You blinked, once. Twice. “You think—?”
“I know,” he said, stepping forward. “I’ve known for months. Since the moment I saw you. The bond—it’s been screaming at me, and I’ve been pretending I can ignore it. But I can’t anymore. Not when you look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m yours.”
The bath steamed behind him, sweet with oils and magic. And you—beautiful and wide-eyed and so damn soft—stood before him like a vision.
He raised a scarred hand. Let it hover near your cheek. “Say something. Please.”
You stared at him, lips parted, and then whispered: “Why me?”
Azriel exhaled, voice thick. “Because your laugh sounds like something I want to protect. Because when you walk into a room, I don’t see shadows—I see a future. Because your thighs drive me insane, and when you smile at me, it hurts. And because I would burn the world if you asked.”
Your eyes shimmered.
“Let me show you,” he said. “Please.”
And you nodded.
He undressed you slowly.
Azriel had never gone to war with trembling fingers, but he did now—unlacing the front of your tunic, pushing the fabric down your arms, eyes drinking in every glorious inch you revealed.
Your breasts spilled free first, soft and full and gods, he wanted to mouth at them for hours. Then your waist, the slight dip of your belly, the luscious curve of your hips.
You reached to cover yourself, instinctive.
“Don’t,” he rasped. “Don’t you dare hide from me.”
And when you dropped your arms, vulnerable and trembling, Azriel fell to his knees like he’d been commanded by the gods themselves.
You gasped as he kissed the inside of your thigh, his voice shaking with reverence. “I’ve dreamed of this. Every damn night.”
Then his mouth was on you.
Azriel worshipped you like a prayer—his tongue seeking, finding, devouring the sweet bundle of nerves that made you moan and buck against his face. He gripped your thighs with reverent hands, spreading you open wider for him, shadows caressing you like a second touch.
When your thighs clamped around his head, he groaned—groaned—like it was the only place he’d ever belonged.
“That’s it,” he whispered against your slick. “Use me, sweetheart. Let me feel you fall apart.”
You came for him like a breaking wave. Then again. And again. Until your legs shook and your voice was hoarse from moaning his name.
When he finally rose, your eyes were glazed, your lips kiss-bruised from his.
“Bath,” he murmured, lifting you easily into the water.
You curled into him, back to his chest, the warm water cradling you both. His hands never stopped moving—palming your belly under the surface, stroking the curve of your hip, dragging lazy circles along your inner thigh.
“You drive me mad,” he said, lips against your ear.
“I didn’t mean to.”
He smiled. “I think I was waiting for someone like you. Someone who wouldn’t flinch when I said I’m broken. Who would still want me when I got like this—desperate and wild.”
Then he kissed you.
Not fierce. Not possessive. Just full. Devout. Like a man finally drinking water after years of thirst.
Later, as he dried you off with his own hands—slow, careful, utterly in love—he murmured: “You're mine now.”
You smiled up at him. “And you're mine?”
Azriel lowered his head. Rested his brow against your belly.
“I’ve always been yours.”
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sassybluebird · 27 days ago
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what happens when your childhood best friend, satoru gojo carries you through the rain so your socks don’t get wet?
a/n: i missed the chance adding a scene like this on love thy neighbor 👹
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"ugh, no. nope. i’m not walking through that."
you halt on the sidewalk like a pampered cat avoiding a puddle, your polished mary janes hovering dramatically over a wide sheet of grimy rainwater. your nose scrunches with disdain as you frown at the murky mess rippling over the uneven concrete. your arms are crossed high over your chest, blazer sleeves wrinkled and damp from gripping your umbrella like it personally offended you. the storm murmurs softly in the background—low thunder rumbling like a sleepy yawn, cars hissing by with sloshes of tire spray, the whisper of tree branches dripping above you.
behind you, satoru lets out a theatrical groan—deep, dramatic, and just exaggerated enough to be obnoxious. like he’s auditioning for a soap opera.
"it’s water, not lava," he drawls, standing just a few paces behind you, half-soaked and absolutely unbothered. his white button-up clings to his torso like a second skin, translucent where it’s stuck to his skin. the rain has darkened it enough to reveal the faint lines of his undershirt beneath, and the tips of his silver-white bangs are plastered to his forehead in chaotic strands. he shakes his head slightly, droplets flinging in every direction, as if he’s some golden retriever in human form.
"my socks," you state flatly, tone clipped and decisive, as if that alone should shut down the discussion. you angle your leg forward just enough to showcase the offending problem—white frilly ankle socks with delicate faux pearls stitched along the cuff. you tilt your chin, posture confident despite the drizzle misting your skin. "they’re new. and expensive. and limited edition."
satoru shifts his weight with a scoff, running a hand through his soaked hair. it flops back into place anyway. his tie hangs crooked and loose around his neck like he forgot it existed. his glasses are foggy, making his pout look vaguely scholarly. "god forbid your royal toes get damp. whatever shall we do?"
you shoot him a glare over your shoulder, one brow arched like you’re ready to launch a lawsuit. "i will push you into that gutter and make it look like an accident."
his grin breaks across his face instantly—wide, lazy, and all mischief. his blue eyes glint behind the foggy lenses. rain drips down the bridge of his nose and off the tip like punctuation. "please. you couldn’t even tip me over if you used both hands and a running start."
he’s always been like this—unshakably smug, insufferably tall, the kind of boy who got too handsome too young and decided to weaponize it. but he’s yours. the annoying, overgrown boy who used to share bento lunches with you and still calls your mom ‘auntie’ like you’re twelve again.
suddenly, without a word, he crouches. his school bag lands with a soft thunk on the nearest dry stoop, and he tilts his chin back to look at you.
"get on," he says.
you blink. once. twice. the rain drips rhythmically off your umbrella, trailing rivulets down the curve.
"...excuse me?"
"you’re not walking through that, right? so get on. before your overpriced socks file a class action."
he pats the backs of his thighs with both hands like this is a perfectly reasonable idea. he doesn’t even look back at you.
"you are not carrying me," you.ConcurrentModificationException say, scandalized. your voice pitches higher, more out of pride than disbelief. you narrow your eyes and toss your wet bangs from your forehead. "this isn’t a k-drama."
"don’t flatter yourself, diva. you’re tiny. i’ll survive."
"i swear to god, satoru—"
"think of the socks. their sacrifice would be in vain."
you groan, dragging a hand down your face. you look up at the stormy sky as if asking some divine entity for strength, before stepping forward with all the dramatics of a tragic heroine. your shoes click exaggeratedly against the pavement as you adjust your skirt, clutch your umbrella in one hand, and prepare for the social suicide of being princess-carried down a public street.
"this is humiliating," you mutter, wrapping your arms around his neck half-heartedly. your cheek grazes his as you shift your weight against his back. he’s warm despite the rain. sturdy.
"you love it," he says smoothly, rising like you weigh nothing. he adjusts his grip around your thighs and angles the umbrella so it shields you both better, though the side of his face still gets peppered by stray drops. "you’ll tell this story at our wedding, won’t you?"
you splutter. "delusional."
he hums, unconcerned. his steps are slow and exaggerated, carefully avoiding puddles with exaggerated grace, like he’s performing for an invisible audience.
rain beads on his lashes. he doesn’t blink them away, just keeps humming under his breath—some tune from that magical girl anime you watched with him last weekend out of boredom. or maybe affection. not that you’d admit it.
"if you drop me, i’m telling your mom," you warn, voice muffled slightly against the slope of his neck.
"if i drop you, it’s because your couture socks distracted me with their hideous sparkle."
you gasp so loudly a couple walking past under a shared umbrella actually turns to look.
"they’re elegant, you fashion criminal."
"they look like something you hot-glued onto your doll’s clothes in third grade."
"they’re vintage inspired!"
he grins again, quieter this time. it reaches his eyes, crinkling the corners.
"nah, they’re cute. you’re cute."
a pause.
the air stills just enough to notice the sound of a single raindrop hitting metal, distant thunder mumbling behind the clouds.
your fingers, damp and chilly, twitch just slightly against the curve of his collarbone. the fabric of his shirt clings between you, and your breath feels embarrassingly warm against his skin.
he doesn’t say anything else.
and you don’t let go.
not even when the rain begins to ease, not even when the sidewalk turns dry, and definitely not when your socks stay perfectly, gloriously dry.
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