savedbythefall - Tumblr blog

[savedbythefall]

Artwork by: Gusfink🖤

[savedbythefall]

restful dream 

[savedbythefall]

“i love you locker dog. youve been here for me when no one else was. I hope you stay here despite everything!”

[savedbythefall]

another drawlin

[savedbythefall]

sure i find you in my hair and under my pillow and in the car. but i know in my heart you are picking me out of your teeth. i know i am burning through your sundays, sticking to your ceiling.

i hope i'm in every bitter cup of coffee and every candle wick and every bath. i hope my shadow flickers under your door so the empty hallway i have left behind is a swift dart of nothing more. i hope you find me in notebooks and stop signs and fleetwood mac - like i am marginalia on your life, i want my fingerprints burned into your days like acid.

i loved you, and you know i loved you, and for the rest of your life i will be the person you broke. for the rest of your life i hope the shame of that runs like a cattle dog, bites at your heels. i hope every time your cup is full or the moon is a toenail or a cat is purring or a laugh is in your belly or the sky turns pink while the sun is setting - i hope you remember that someone loved you, and you crushed them in your palms. you extinguished every future i lit. i hope that haunts you.

i hope you never fucking forget it.

[savedbythefall]

the ache of nostalgia

[savedbythefall]

where's that picture that ruined my life

[savedbythefall]

something to tide you over

☆ pandorica radio out now on patreon, out dec 1 for the rest of ya. osgood said hello ☆

[savedbythefall]

There comes a day at the start of each summer when I must put my baseball cap on sideways and go out back to my air conditioner. I gingerly stroke the rusty metal coils over its freon heart and say, "Sup, home skillet? Wake up, it's 1995!"

And the air conditioner says, "Oh snap, for real? I thought it was much later. I feel so old."

In a goofy voice I say, "Yeah, it's like 2024 or something... not!"

It laughs nervously. It says, "As if!"

I tell it, "Take a chill pill, it's really 1995."

"Then I'm only 5 years old? Wack."

I nod. "Yeah, duderoni. Go ahead and start up for me one more time. It's gonna be a scorcher."

It shudders. Something rattles deep inside it. Slowly, the fan starts to spin. Faster, faster, it whirls. The air conditioner laughs in relief. "I feel young!" it says. "I feel so young!"

[savedbythefall]

the dull monotony of every day life finds itself in my my head at night. i dream of receiving an email ive been waiting on. i dream of telling my students to be quieter. i used to dream about giants and dragons and assassins. now i only dream of washing the dishes. i feel like im entrenched in a hole of repetition, a modern timeloop; live life while im awake and go through the motions in my sleep. there used to be a beat through my head, like a bassline in a song; bum bum bum bum bum. this is the life of the living, not far off from the life of the dead. is it really life if you can’t find the means to live? I feel like I can’t figure out how to live anymore.

I am a child’s kite stuck in a tree, I am the extra sock you can’t find in the laundry, I am the song on the radio you have heard a million times. there is nothing I have done that everyone in the world has not done. barely awake, I change the batteries in my flashlight. triple A’s. where is the light?

[savedbythefall]

I had a vision

[savedbythefall]

sometimes im so sad and i dont know why and i want to be prettier and i want to be smarter and i want to be funnier and I wish i was just more, i feel kind of like im the shallowest version of myself i can be and i just wish people liked me more. i do think im pretty. I just wish i could be the kind of person that other people wanted to be friends with. im not charming and im not funny. im dull and im boring and im base level at everything i do and im doomed to fail anything i try. I’ve done nothing exciting with my life and my friends probably dont want to be friends with me and no colleges will ever want me because all I do is waste space. why dont people want me. why dont people like me. why dont i like me. what did i do wrong. what am i doing wrong.

[savedbythefall]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]

[savedbythefall]

i cant. i cant

[savedbythefall]

Not a big fan of what melatonin has been doing to my dreams lately.

[savedbythefall]

when your guardian angel quits 💧

[savedbythefall]

i used to have no hope for the future but now i'm thinking. i want rich people food. i want rare sirloin steak. i've never had sirloin steak in my life. i think i want to try it before i die.