saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog

[saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog]

How self-diagnosis can be harmful.

When I was 16 years old, I diagnosed myself with schizoid personality disorder.

I had every symptom in the DSM-IV. I didn’t have access to a lot of other resources, but I devoured what I could find. I read my way through my library’s holdings on personality disorders. I read every website about schizoid personality disorder I could find. I went to my local university and found articles in journals with the help of my 18-year-old sister. It all lined up for me--I had this disorder.

Well. Maybe not.

A professor of medicine in Maryland once instructed his students, “If you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.” What this means is that if you see a set of symptoms, think of the most common cause first. Could it be a zebra? Sure. But it’s more likely it’s a horse, so that’s where you go first.

Depression and schizoid personality disorder can both, it turns out, cause emotional blunting, disinterest in other people, indifference to praise and criticism, and lack of pleasure in activities.  But in my case, the symptoms I had were caused by severe untreated major depressive disorder plus PTSD, something I didn’t find out until I was  28 years old. 

I know, I know. That’s all well and good. But what’s the harm in self-diagnosis? Yeah, at 16 I had myself pegged with the wrong label, but it wasn’t actually harmful, right?

Wrong.

As it turns out, the treatment for major depression and schizoid personality disorder are different. First line treatment for depression is meds, usually SSRIs or SNRIs. First line treatment for schizoid personality disorder is therapy. And even with therapy, the success rates for schizoid personality disorder aren’t great. So at 16, convinced I had schizoid personality disorder, I decided that trying to treat it was pointless. Personality disorders are treatment resistant. My family was too poor to put me through years of therapy. There was no point in trying.

I suffered for another twelve years because I thought I was hopeless.

Granted at 16, I didn’t have a great understanding of mental health treatments. Still. I decided getting treatment was pointless because schizoid personality disorder was “untreatable.” I decided that treatment was pointless and things. just. got. worse.

Until I got to grad school at age 28. And I just fell apart completely. Finally, I did something that seemed beyond stupid, but I knew I couldn’t keep going like I was. I went to my school’s counseling center. I knew it was pointless, but I was literally on the verge of killing myself. I couldn’t go on.

I got an appointment with the psychiatrist, and I described my symptoms to her. The symptoms which, to me, pointed straight at a diagnosis of schizoid personality disorder. I waited to hear the verdict.

And without any hesitation whatsoever, the psychiatrist put me on Effexor.

Her diagnosis? Major depressive disorder.

Sure, it wasn’t the only thing going on--it’s taken another two years of treatment to get me on a cocktail of meds that addresses all my symptoms. And I’ve been in therapy for two years as well. But one thing that became abundantly clear almost from the beginning is that I do not have schizoid personality disorder. I was just really, really depressed.

So that’s why I always side-eye self-diagnosis. Maybe you’re right, maybe you have everything you diagnosed yourself with. But maybe you’re seeing zebras instead of horses. And maybe your self-diagnosis will do you more harm that good. 

Coming up in later posts: Self-diagnosis from a medical professional’s perspective, why mental healthcare is more accessible than you think.

[saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog]

It’s fine to suspect if you have a mental or learning disability.

In fact it’s awesome that you’re aware that you may have something and you want to know what that is.

But…

If you suspect you have a mental illness or learning disability, plan to go to a professional when you have the money and time. Please do not diagnose yourself officially.

There are many different types of mental illnesses and learning disabilities that are similar to one each other. You may be wrong about what you may have.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let your loved ones and co-workers know you think you have something and tell them how they can help you, but wait on names until you have an official word for it, okay?

Sincerely,

A person diagnosed with Autism.

[saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog]

something has been sitting on my mind and I need to talk about it.

many people have “symptoms” of bpd. but here’s the thing. it doesn’t become a medical symptom until it affects your life in a negative way, happens often, it’s level of severity, etc. being a jealous person, or fearing someone will leave you now and again or once in your life doesn’t mean you have bpd. and I think that the lack of this knowledge allows kids to self diagnose things they shouldn’t. not everything is a medical symptom.

[saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog]

Self Diagnosis

I just want to say that Self Dx is completely NOT okay. Giving yourself a diagnosis when there are no professionals treating anything (as many people claim) will seriously do nothing for you. When I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 1 specifically, it took 1-2 years for them to study all the symptoms. If you’ve gone to a doctor who gave you an official diagnosis at intake, find a new doctor

I honestly don’t care if you get anxiety talking to doctors, if you’re serious about your mental health, this is something you need to do. There’s this thing called Psychological Testing that is in depth and takes several weeks or even months to get the results of.

I’m sorry, but no matter how educated you think you are, psychology professionals have more experience and more connections to find more accurate information. Saying the DSM is classist because it’s expensive is so fucked up. Those texts are made for professionals, not patients. That’s becaurse people use it to smash their symptoms into a disorder that kind of sort of fits. But there are nuances in every disorder.

You might be right if you have a hunch about your diagnosis, but again if you truly want to heal, you need to be responsible and figure out how to make it work. Your “community” online isn’t full of educated people. You will gain nothing. You can’t get medication with a self dx. You can’t go to groups. You can’t get any insurance coverage. You get this shitty websites fucked up version of support.

Be smarter.

[saynotoselfdiagnosis-blog]

Self-advocacy: I am experiencing something abnormal in my health, and I have an idea of what it is or what it could be, but I need to see a doctor to see what the problem is and to get proper treatment.

Self-diagnosis: I like to pretend that I’m oppressed or I like to have oppression points on tumblr despite suffering every day. I thrive off of pity and attention and validation because I don’t do anything with my life because I’m afraid of change and bettering my life and rather stay indoors for my entire life scrolling on tumblr and watching cartoons