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There’s no place I’d rather wake up. 📷 by @samlandreth | http://pieceofwilderness.com
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11-10-17
I can’t wait till the day I can say it no longer hurts. The pain and anger is gone. My heart and my mind are completely destroyed. I gave my all to a guy that I wanted to spend eternity with. In return, he shattered me. It’s been 2 years since everything happened but the pain still feels as if it was yesterday. I’ve never hurt so bad in my life. At the time it was going on I just wanted to end my life, I was pregnant with our son but all I could think about was dying. I wanted the pain in my heart to finally stop. What made him cheat, not once, but multiple times? Was it something I was doing wrong? Was I not good enough? Was I really not his true love? I can’t help but wonder myself sick about it. We were a family with 3 boys and one on the way. We were engaged. I thought it was real, till death do us part love. He would come home to me and have sex with me like normal but little did I know he was having sex with another woman in Asheville. I was lied to when I found out about it. Him and her both lied to me, his family lied to me. I was a stay at home mom while he “worked”. He spent a lot of time with this girl and would come back home like nothing had happened. He would lie through his teeth about everything. She would text his phone saying how she missed him, how she was glad she got to see him, and sending kissy emoji’s. I was so naive I believed him. I didn’t want to believe the love of my life was having relations with another woman. I still don’t want to believe it. 9-5-15 he had sex with a different girl, the night BEFORE i gave birth to our son. The night after giving birth she calls his phone at 3AM and I answer it. I tell her I’m his fiance’ and she told me she had no idea he was with anyone. He told her he was single. She continued to tell me they had sex and she felt so bad about it. He called her a liar on the phone and hung up on her. He cried his eyes out and said other things happened with her but he never had sex with her. So, what do I believe? Him or her? He said things happened with the girl from Asheville but never sex. She said they did it more than once. So, once again, who do I believe there? It’s a fucking mess man. I don’t think he has ever told me the truth about anything. Here I sit typing a story that people laugh at, they tell me to “get over it” like it’s nothing. I can’t let it go! I have tried and tried. It hurts deep into my soul. I know people get cheated on everyday and it’s nothing new but, damn, how do they move on? How do you let it go? How do you keep it out of your fucking mind?
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Things To Look Forward To/Do This Fall
Carving/decorating pumpkins
Going pumpkin picking
Going apple picking
Soup
Fall fashion
Bring out fall clothes/buying new clothes
Summer clothes are on sale
Scarves
Cooler weather
Baking
Relaxing
Football season
Getting cozy
Movie nights
Raking up and playing in leaves
Hay rides
Making candy apples
Caramel and pumpkin foods come out to play
Decorating your house
Go hiking or camping
Make s'mores
Walks in the park
Fall festivals
Haunted houses
Halloween
Thanksgiving
Black Friday
Time to start planning for Christmas 😉
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