extremely extremely tiring to be around people who just vehemently hate themselves. nobody benefits from you acting like this. cruelty to the self is still cruelty. if i was at an art gallery admiring a piece by van gogh or in a library reading a beautiful poem and you walked up to me and went Ewww thats so bad... you think its good? youre wrong its really bad :/ you would be a certified piece of fucking shit it is not different just bc its your creation instead of someone else's. if a stranger walked up to me and started ranting about how they thought my friend was annoying and ugly i would punch them in the gut. it is not different just because you are saying this about yourself. nobody wants to hear it
you are your worst enemy until you learn to treat yourself like a friend. sabotaging your efforts and relationships, convincing yourself no one loves you, not trying because you’re sure you’ll fail, being apathetic to everything is bc you think you’re not good enough. but the truth is you are good enough and you can be the best person you can be if you learn to change these thoughts into self-love and encouragement. listen to your needs and be there for yourself instead of destroying your health or abandoning yourself or your future.
I think one of the coolest things about D.Gray-Man that I haven't seen acknowledged yet is the creativity of the weapons. Kanda's sword and Cross' gun and Allen's sword (if you ignore the fact that it's his freakin' arm) are the only like, traditional appearing weapons.
Like Lenalee's weapons are boots. Lavi's is a giant hammer. Bookman uses needles. There's a general with a God damned monkey.
Hoshino was so creative in coming up with the weapons the Exorcists use and I love it so much.
anyway, i think when it comes to fictional characters, there's really no such thing as irredeemable and i believe in at least getting the chance to change and be better.