schntgaispocko

[schntgaispocko]

What if I drew you pregnant?

Science Officers Blog, Ask #36.

Anonymous,

With whoms spawn? I hope it belongs to a human male, though it would be entirely illogical and impossible.

Though I am fascinated by the possibility's the rendering of this fantasy could bring.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Mr. Spock, do you celebrate pride month on the Enterprise?

Science officers Blog, Ask #35.

Dogwithapog,

Like most holidays and celebratory time periods, pride month is acknowledged aboard the enterprise. I find these celebrations to boost morale in the crew and increase productivity with the crew approximately 10.23%, myself included. Are there any Tumblr specific pride celebrations I should be made aware of.

Pride wishes to you, Dogwithapog.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Is the “science officers blog” in your pinned post a pun?!?!?

Science officers Blog, Ask #34.

Anonymous,

Why, whatever would make you think that? I am simply reformatting a typical "Log" into Blog format.

thank you for your inquiries regardless. I am always fascinated by the way these entries get interpreted by users.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Mr. Spock! Have you ever tried chocolate? I’m pretty sure the Captain is a fan of it.

Science Officers Blog, Ask #32.

Anonymous,

I am aware of the physical reaction that phenethylamine and caffeine bring to the Vulcan body. I suppose it is well known, though I was unfortunate enough to discover it on my own.

Yes, the captain does enjoy chocolate, but I tend to avoid it to avoid losing control of myself and actions. I find it to be the most unflattering look on me.

Apologies for my brief hiatus, a detected but unidentified source was tracking and following our ship and to avoid any potential danger, the captain ordered for no signals to be sent or received from the ship. This conflict has now been resolved. Sense then I have also been able to receive my purchase from Victoria's Secret, so I will be sure to provide an update on that situation promptly.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

How big is Jim?

Science Officers Blog, Ask 31.

Anonymous.

Jim is a 5'10 human male, weighing approximately 165 pounds.

I don't know why you are worried about the physical specs on my captain. Notify me if you are referring to anything else...

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Mister Spock, I think you may have offended Doctor McCoy. I was just in sickbay looking for you and he said he had no idea where you were and when I found you I should tell you “friends don’t experiment on friends” and that he’s not speaking to you. Though it may have been the bourbon talking?

Science Officers Blog, Ask #30.

Who is this.

I am not privy to any other Starfleet crew members on Tumblr. Com aside from Chekov, and due to your phrasing, I do not believe that is you.

I know this is not the captain. This is an order for you to reveal yourself.

As for Mccoy, we did have a dispute following the "Kiss the Doctor for Science" experiment. I had returned to sickbay to perform... another... intimate... step to the experiment. Upon completion, I had told him of my project and that I was satisfied with my data.

As per usual, the Doctor had issue with my lack of emotions and accused my mind of being like a computer. I attempted to quell his emotional outburst with a kiss, which did lead to more.

Following our brief intercourse, his anger returned. He told me "How is that for an experiment, Mr. Spock" and scowled as he left the closet we had occupied, slamming the door. I have not spoken to him in two days, we have not crossed paths.

I do not believe I need to apologize for anything. As a scientist, experimentation is necessary. I was only discovering ways to heighten morale and comradery within the ship and between me and my coworker. Emotions should not be involved, even if I were capable.

Humans are such... complicated creatures.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Hello Mr Spock , you should listen to The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins by Leonard Nimoy. Wonderful terran music

Science Officers Blog, Ask 28.

Welcome back Spock 2.

This song is certainly fascinating. This Hobbit creature, Bilbo, has certainly gone through a lot, considering his lack of height.

My main concern is to this human, "Leonard Nimoy". Why... he is a spitting image of myself, if you were to remove my Vulcanian features.

It is a song I will listen to again.

I have found this in my research of the song. It is quite a visually immersive video that helped me understand the song better.

Perhaps this "Leonard Nimoy" should be Spock 2 instead of you, Spocktuah.

Thank you for the song recommendation, I learn more on the subject of human creativity and whimsy every day.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Science Officers Blog: Update regarding the Victorias secret sale.

Hello.

The results are in: 59.3% voted blue, 40.7% voted black.

A few helpful people have reached out and given me advice as to flattering my figure or even suggested both. While my budget does not allow purchasing both, I did illogically consider it.

I have ordered the Blue One Piece; I have faith that it will fit correctly. It should arrive in one week if all is well with the ship. Thank you all for helping me impress my captain.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

I've always wondered what Vulcans find attractive. What are the beauty standards on Vulcan like? Or are they all about intelligence?

Science Officers Blog, Ask #26.

Fruitytown666,

While Vulcans tend to prioritize intelligence and logic, defining traits such as pointy long ears, arched eyebrows and long noses are quite desirable in Vulcan culture. While it is the cultural beauty standard, even Vulcans have their own preferences.

For example: I am quite the fan of Human men, which is not a very common taste.

Thank you for your interest in my home planet,

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Mr Spock, do you weed diva?

Science Officers Blog, Ask #25.

Tyler-aint-real,

I've spent some time deliberating the meaning behind this question. Upon much thought, I have decided you are asking me if i partake in the earth substance, Marijuana.

Yes, I have tried it with a few of my crew members. Due to my generally stronger constitution, I didn't feel the effects quite as severe as my human co-workers, but the experience was quite pleasurable.

Smoking is banned aboard the Enterprise, but perhaps we will try it again on shore leave. I have also heard of an Earth practice where the Marijuana is ingested typically via a pastry or gummy. Human behavior really is quite fascinating.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Hey Mr. Spock, what do you think about skibidi toilet? While I’m at it I’d like to tell you that you’re so skibidi and the best rizzler on the enterprise. Have a nice day and say hi to your sigma baby gronk (the Captain) for me! 🖖

Science Officers Blog, Ask 24.

Anonymous.

I have no clue how to begin to decipher this, though I hope it is a compliment. I will show the captain for you as well; he is pretty interested in my endeavors on this site... I hope he doesn't make an account as I would have to redact some information from these blogs.

As for my thoughts on "Skibidi Toilet," I will say I have none.

I do not want to be tricked or deceived on the internet.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

victoria's secret sale right now, maybe you can impress jim...

Science Officer Blog, Ask #23

Seethirty,

Thank you for letting me know about the sale. I have found two garments I believe he will like, though I am unsure which one to order to the ship.

I chose the black one because the heavily textured lace is sure to be an enjoyable sensory experience. I also am partial to garters and think the whole silhouette will please the captain well. The blue one reminded me of my work uniform and will draw his eyes to all the right places. I believe the Earth Phrase is "Less is more", though I am unsure if this sentiment applies to lingerie.

I know my captain very well, but like you said, I am really anticipating impressing him.

I will report follow ups on the purchase, arrival, and the captain's reaction.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

hey mr spock !! can i be your friend pls?? i got you a cat

love from,

thestrangedazebouquet

Science Officers Blog, Ask #22.

Thestrangedazeboquet,

I accept your request for friendship, as well as your gift. The majority of the people I know are my coworkers or from my home planet, so I value making connections with people outside of that sphere. Expanding the types of people you interact with on the regular works well to broaden one's mind and worldview.

As for the cat, I was not expecting to own a pet aboard the enterprise. However, I do find myself to be quite partial to it, and I surmise the captain will feel the same.

This cat should have a name, though I am unsure as to what it should be.

Have a good night Thestrangedazeboquet, I look forward to our correspondence.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

mr spock is it true that sugar makes vulcans tipsy??? 🫢

Science Officers Blog, Ask #21.

Anonymous,

It is a common misconception that Sucrose or Glucose is responsible for enacting the similar effects to the Vulcan body that alcohol has on the human body. However, it is a fact that Phenethylamine, when combined with another stimulant, does result in a state of "drunkenness" in Vulcans.

When the body is releasing endorphins along with an increase of activity in the central nervous system, it is likely for emotional walls to fall and the Vulcan mind to be altered for a state of time.

It would be highly illogical for a being to be so affected by such a common substance, though it would be rather interesting. I suppose one would have to adapt or hope for a planet with sustenance void of sugar.

Have a good night anonymous. Thank you for your interest in my Vulcan biology.

Spock out.

[schntgaispocko]

Good evening, Mr. Spock (or whatever time it is for you right now),

Are there "musicals" where you come from?

Science Officers Blog, Ask #20.

Thegr00vyslasher,

Good evening.

While there is music and theatre on Planet Vulcan, the two haven't bridged the gap in the way you humans seem to have naturally done so.

There is the Globe Theatre on Planet Vulcan, which is responsible for hosting various Shakespearian plays.

Musical theatre is an artform I have long had a passive curiosity about but never researched. Are there any modern shows that I should know to better understand humanity?

I find your persistent company to be quite pleasant, Thegr00vyslasher.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

u should listen to “good luck, babe!” by chappell roan

Science Officers Blog, Ask #19.

Rainclouds145,

I have given "Good Luck, Babe" a listen. My thoughts are the following:

-I have never heard a song like this before... it is possible I need to broaden my earth music tastes beyond ABBA.

-Reminds me of... a few situations in my past with a certain.. someone. (resolved.)

-Pleasant on the ears, though it's probably not a song I would listen to on my spare time.

I am fascinated by the idea of you humans suggesting me more earth music of this time. If you are so inclined, send one in my Ask Box to help me further my studies on this planet.

Spock Out.

[schntgaispocko]

Mr. Spock, I don’t mean to accuse you of having an emotion, but it seems you’re quite fond of your captain. Have you relayed your feelings to him? Humans often find emotional security in hearing how others think about us.

Science Officers Blog, Ask #18

Anonymous,

I appreciate the scarcity of accusation in this question regarding my emotions. Yes, I am quite fond of my captain. I believe he is quite fond of me as well.

I do my best to compliment and show my... appreciation for him as best I can when in private, I hope it is enough to bring this... emotional security.... His dazzling eyes... his problem-solving skills.... his... physique...........

Maybe research into "emotional security" is necessary.... He has mentioned it to me before, so perhaps I should investigate more into this aspect of human life.

Spock Out.