school-subsutute-blog - Tumblr blog

[school-subsutute-blog]

Every Hat in TF2 by AshleyLange [x]

Otherwise entitled “How to annoy everybody’s Tumblr dash”

[school-subsutute-blog]

The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.

[school-subsutute-blog]

@two-trucks-having-s3x

soldier reaction to hearing about homophobia: "LISTEN, MAGGOT! THIS IS THE U S OF A, AND WE HAVE A LITTLE THING CALLED 'FREEDOM'. MAYBE YOU DON'T LIKE IT, BUT IF SOMEONE WANTS TO MAKE LOVE TO A HOUSE THEN IT IS THEIR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO DO SO. OORAH!"

"WHAT? THIS IS NOT A 'HOME OF PHOBIA'! THIS IS A HOME OF BRAVERY! NOW SALUTE THE (gay pride) FLAG OR I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT BACK TO YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE UNSPECIFIC LOCATION OF ORIGIN!!!!"

[school-subsutute-blog]

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

[school-subsutute-blog]

[school-subsutute-blog]

if the mercs had youtube channels what kind of videos do you think they would make

Really bad ones

[school-subsutute-blog]

Shout-out to the games allying with TF2 on Reddit.

(Not my posts; got them from Reddit. Go to r/tf2 to see them and more).

[school-subsutute-blog]

hello everyone today im here to pitch to you an idea which could revolutionize the deltarune fanon industry: these 4 become friends

[school-subsutute-blog]

Floofty Fizzlebean is my absolute favorite. They would be so easy to prank.

[school-subsutute-blog]

i swear to god i get hangover symptoms every time i travel why does my body punish me like this (<- has chronic fatigue)

[school-subsutute-blog]

Keep seeing pronoun positivity posts is about he/they and she/theys. That's cool and all but this one's for the she/hes. If you're a she/he I love you and you can take as much mint as you want from our garden

[school-subsutute-blog]

the villagers about herobrine: hrnn (he’s an unstoppable force of chaos…. an entity known for his immeasurable power.. both capable of wonders….. and destruction. we live in fear of the day he runs out of mercy and unleashes his true potential……)

steve and alex remembering that one time hb ate their entire stack of diamonds sprinkled with dirt and then passed out on their roof: oh he’s terrifying alright

[school-subsutute-blog]

I REALLY DO NOT EXPECT TO SEE THE PARENTS OF ANY STICK-

days ago I was joking with myself that purple had daddy issues AND THEN THIS BLUE STICK APPEARS-😭

AND I FELT BAD SO,, Purple lore but their parents are happy, his father is not a fuckingbastard, and purple is happy too:

I love purple, can't wait for the next episode AAA

[school-subsutute-blog]

im bored so ill write my minecraft headcanons because im planning on making a comic

- villagers are humans, but they evolved backwards, making them weaker and more vunerable to "sickness"

- also which it explains why villagers can turn into zombies while humans cant, because humans became immune to a zombie infection while villagers are still vunerable to them

- illagers, villagers are the same species while witches are a variant of them

- witches leave a purple mark everything they touch, including footsteps

- i stick a lot to the theory that minecraft is a post apocalyptic world, where almost all humans were extinct and became zombies or skeletons while trying to survive

- creepers are pigs but modificated by a lingering radiation caused by explosions

- skeletons, zombie and enderman were humans who in the middle of the apocalypse, became mutated believing they were going to gain powers, only to get brutally modified and becoming deadly allergic to the simplest things (sunlight, water, etc)

- potions change your appearance, per example a potion of night vision makes your eyes gray-ish, and potion of strength makes your veins more visible

- same for other effects like bad omen (your skin gets more gray-ish) and when you eat golden apples, or suspicious stews

- the reason why you explode when you try to sleep in the nether its because your pressure goes so high, as soon as you fall sleep you body cannot take the heat, your pressure goes up and your brain blows up. along with the bed.

- mineshafts were used by villagers to find emeralds and were abandoned afterwards, which is also why emeralds are so rare to find.

- in villager culture, they all use a uniform, which is a thick cloth, especifically designed to protect the skin from zombie attacks, which is also why they cover a big part of their bodies

- when you use a totem of undying, you feel the pain of your death, sometimes you can even see the afterlife for a second but then you go back to life, its really painful to use it at first but then you slowly heal up

[school-subsutute-blog]

Even though I’ve never played Minecraft EVER in my life, since Steve got in smash I tried learning some general stuff about the series on the wiki and apparently there’s no ‘real’ lore to him??? I tried making some headcanons at least since I genuinely like the character potential he has!

* Steve seemed to originate out of virtually nowhere, just being spotted by some villagers one day and he seemed to just set up camp nearby, soon making a small house of his own.

* He is mute, but is still capable of writing in English and communicating with ASL. Unfortunately for him, villagers and other sentient humanoid species do not comprehend his hand gestures, and thinks he’s just messing around with them, much to his dismay.

* As for how he learned how to write and use ASL, he oddly doesn’t seem to remember. He assumes he learned it from his parents, and yet he doesn’t even remember their own faces.

* He claims that he is a orphan, as most of his childhood memories seem to be in a haze, and his stronger memories seem to exist from his mid-teenage years as he was already living off the land on his own.

* He is gifted in both mining and construction, and likes to dabble in alchemy. However he is still a rookie at it, and has accidentally ruined many important items by trying to place enchantments upon them.

* He doesn’t really have that many hobbies, as he’s always focused on maintaining his home, crops, animals, and safety, which is a constant 24/7 endeavor. Later on after exploring more villages and learning new lifestyle related information, he has taken up reading as a small hobby. This is where he first learned of preforming alchemy, as he once thought it was impossible to learn if you weren’t ‘gifted’ with it.

* He has seen his fair share of mobs, but the ones that seem to ALWAYS rock him to his core are oddly enough, the zombies. He claims that every time he even glances at one, he feels extreme discomfort. Perhaps it has to deal with most zombies originating of supposed human origin, and their uncanny valley-ness getting to his mind.

* Zombies honestly may be the closet thing to ‘other human beings’ in the area, as Steve seems to be the odd one out in terms of species. Villagers, Illagers, Endermen, and other sorts are in abundance, but not his own kind. He tries to not let this go to his head, but there has been plenty of nights of him suffering from touch-deficiency and total isolation.

* Even though he may be seen as a outsider to many, nobody can deny how much of a optimist he is. Constantly beaming with joy and always willing to help, he has become well known for being one of the most incredibly helpful people out there.

* However it is quite rare in which he comes off as incredibly stoic and even morose. When like this, the metaphysical aura he gives off is immediately powerful and extremely unsettling, to the point some usually hyper aggressive hostile mobs seem to notice this and actually leave him alone.

* Genuinely did not know WHAT a cake was. Learned about it and tried it for the first time from a farmer villager, and has been completely enamored since. Has developed a bit of a sweet tooth from consuming too much after learning about it, and now tries to eat cake moderately. He also enjoys pumpkin pie, but only during the fall months since it feels ‘more cozy feeling’. Ironically not a huge fan of cookies, and prefers the chocolate in them to be used in cakes.

* His favorite mobs to interact with are most of his own livestock! He owns pigs, cows, sheep, donkeys, and even a rabbit! However, chickens might be his top favorite, and thankfully he doesn’t really eat them and instead just takes advantage of their eggs and how fun and enjoyable it is to maintain them. Later on as he saw parrots for the first time in person, he has been in absolute love with them!

* Even though he does keep and maintain livestock, he is petrified by the concept of keeping a permanent house pet. He has actually tamed some wolves and cats in the past, but has endured too much heartbreak when they are accidentally killed when trying to defend him when undead mobs attack near their home. He always breaks down when burying their remains.

* He does own a horse, but is wary of using it since the last thing he wants to do is accidentally overstrain it and cause it any harm. He still cannot bear to see any more animals under his care go through any pain for him.

* He keeps a small beehive near his house, as he enjoys how their pollination leads to some beautiful flowers sprouting up around his home. He sometimes harvests their honey, but has been stung so many times that he’s not really willing to harvest honeycombs again. It took him quite some time to realize that he needed to use a campfire to calm the bees down, as before he just literally shoved his arm in the hive to get honeycombs.

* He will sometimes try to add new flowers that he discovers from his travels to his home’s makeshift garden, but eventually he really started to put more effort in having a visually pleasing garden and not just having a mess of various plants and flowers.

* Kinda thinks Creepers are cute, but is equally scared of their odd ability to explode violently. He has tried many times to tame them but always inadvertently scares them, soon prompting their unfortunate demise. He still has hope for possibly meeting a non-exploding Creeper one day, but will still keep his distance out of fear.

* He is a good swimmer, capable to dive to considerable depths, but refuses to go down to the deeper parts of the ocean such as the surface floor. Mainly out of concern from accidentally drowning by not being able to make it to the water’s surface in time, and also his distaste for looking at the Drowned as they also give him that ‘off’ feeling.

* He doesn’t mind crafting potions when needed, but feels like most of the time they’re quite unnecessary as they mainly take away the trill and inherent danger of exploring. He will cave in however and will use the Potion of Water Breathing and the Potion of Fire Resistance when he knows he’s heading into some riskier areas.

* As for how Steve met Alex, it was quite sudden actually. He was just out exploring when he saw them hunting in the distance, stalking some Skeletons. He assumed at first it was just some brave Villager, but soon noticed how their physical proportions seem to mirror his. After realizing that they ARE human, he was too shy and terrified to actually go up to them and introduce himself. What if they thought he was a creepy stalker? Or a Pillager?! It seems to be fate however when Alex was soon cornered and he threw himself into the fray to help. After the fight, the two awkwardly interacted, as Alex does speak English but didn’t realize that Steve was mute. Since then the two have interacted more and more, showing to each other their homes and various bases, along with trading goods and their own life stories to pass the time together. He does hold some romantic feelings for Alex, but holds it inside of him as he fears that expressing his love would inadvertently scare them away.

* His body is wracked with scars, all from various accidents and misadventures. Strangely however, he does have some scars that would only be created from fatal wounds, such as a arrow entry-wound scar directly over where his heart should be, or odd deep bite wounds around his neck. Steve always seems to shrug these scars off and claim that they’re usually from falling debris when mining, but it seems unlikely.

* He claims that he tends to suffer from randomly occurring nightmares, all ending in brutal deaths such as being burned alive in lava or being ripped to shreds by zombies. If you were to ask what happened before these events, he will explain that it feels ‘just like any other day’ before the death happens. He is completely oblivious to the fact that after each nightmare, a new scar seems to appear on his body.

* Sometime after Steve ‘moved in’ to the area, there has been some strange rumors of another human, a unusually hostile human..... Some Villagers claim it is a near splitting image of Steve, but they refuse to believe it’s him. After all, why would he become so....... brutal..... The few that managed to observe this human usually claim that his body is usually drenched in his own gore from being mauled, charred beyond belief, riddled with arrows and weapons still lodged in their flesh, or even fully drenched in seawater with them perpetually vomiting it and blood out. Others claim that this human has no pupils or iris, just a unsettling white void that almost appears ethereal-like.

* When addressing Steve about this odd human lurking around in this area, he is actually quite curious yet afraid about it. He met Alex by chance, as they’re more of a free roaming explorer, so perhaps this new human is akin to Alex’s more extreme traveling lifestyle? He does agree however on their reported violent behavior to be..... deeply unsettling....... setting Illagers on fire to only chop up their corpses in the end, disfiguring and torturing Witches with their own potions, purposely corralling Creepers together to cause a horrible chain reaction to occur that deeply scars the ground, drowning Endermen and proceeding to gouge out their eyes after the deed has been done......... certainly dark actions for a twisted individual. Steve thinks they might be observing him, as he has found trails of blood and other various fluids leading up to his house’s door every few days. He can only hope that if they were to meet one fateful day, he would be spared.

[school-subsutute-blog]

Inscryption: scrybe gaming headcanons.

Author note: This is based on games I have played, and thought they would personally enjoy. I would suggest you to play them as well if you haven’t. Just going to pretend they have access to PCs and consoles lmao. I can imagine their minecraft chat logs being hostile as fuck.

If this is badly spaced, sorry! Something is up with my tumblr where no matter how many time I change it to nicely spaced it cramps together again.

Also my dumbass forgot the uberbots and students, they are next.

Warning: Language, minor spoilers for Viviette, advice for stardew ig? (?).

Keep reading