scithemodestmermaid

[scithemodestmermaid]

my photography skills increased dramatically today

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my niece took me to see godzilla vs kong and i feel a lot better.

so last bit on the stuff from earlier to wrap it all up in a positive bow

i only have two weeks left in this job. it might be for a little while and i come back in the fall. it might be forever and my career starts elsewhere. either way, i am guarded. i know who i can trust, but i still won't say anything anymore.

if i get an interview, great. i'll do my best and probably say no if a job is offered, not after all of this (unless its at a stage where there is no way im getting any other jobs). if i don't get an interview, great, that's a load off my mind. and if this comes back to bite me in the rear end by somehow preventing me from getting any job in the field at all, well, was this really a job worth getting in to? but the latter, i refuse to believe is on the table; hr loves me because i met all my deadlines and did everything i was told.

i might eat lunch on my own for the rest of this time though. don't want to say anything else stupid, and also kind of don't want to sit with those people anymore.

[scithemodestmermaid]

im not done

i am genuinely upset about this workplace drama im in. someone i worked with and considered a mentor (mostly because last semester her job was to mentor me, and we still kept that good rapport i thought) goes and tells someone else to tell me to "watch my attitude" because "people will take that to the higher ups" and I "definitely won't get hired back on here next year" if i keep it up. she says all that to someone else to tell me, but not to me directly? even though she was talking with me in the hall?

its been betrayal after betrayal these past few weeks. before this, my application and follow-up letter got completely ignored...meanwhile, they're asking people without my certification or training to apply because i dont know. before that, another position i was going to apply for got filled before it went live...by someone without my certification or training. people who backed me up on my frustration before are now telling me to shut up basically.

only two people i can trust. and they're leaving this year. because they went through all of this too. in fact, hearing their stories, i'd say they went through it even WORSE. meanwhile everyone else and especially the higher-ups are one big happy family!!!1

and the worst part of it is, i have no idea what jobs are going to go up and who's going to take me. i could very well end up in a situation where i have to come back here next year. i no longer want to come back here next year. but i might be stuck.

it really feels like i'm back at square one. stuck and miserable with no way out.

[scithemodestmermaid]

my first post in awhile just to say something about real life and then bail out again

it came to my attention today that there are only two co-workers i can truly trust at my current workplace and both of them are leaving. people i have been sharing my heart with all year have apparently been sending what i say right along to higher ups. people i thought would come to me with issues about me are going behind my back to other people to have them talk to me about it instead.

i dont want to be at my current workplace next year but with the way the town job market for my career field is i may not have a choice. just two or three weeks ago, it was my top workplace choice. now its my last resort.

there you go, i'm kind of screwed. in fact, i've been screwing myself over all year and only just now became aware of it.

[scithemodestmermaid]

it just dawned on me that war of the worlds was written in 1898 which is at the tail end of Victorian Britain. which means i could incorporate a Martian tripod into my Victorian costume for the Christmas Dickens festival this year and I'd be completely within the correct timeframe.

I now want to figure out how to make a tripod marionette.

[scithemodestmermaid]

A new game out of the (ocean) blue!

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i really didn't want the trailer to go up on YouTube as a short but whatever

Early Access trailer for Clash: Blue Mirage. Its short because I don't care

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Clash news hittin the market because i wani hug that gator lit a fire under my butt

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i wani hug that gator is very well-written, it has some fun prose and vibrant characters and great animation and themes. already the best game of 2024 AND the best book of 2024. I'd make my students analyze it part of one big reading project, that's how good it is.

but this man right here

this man

THIS MAN

T H I S M A N

[scithemodestmermaid]

i went to an educator event yesterday and of all the pictures i took these were the best two pictures i took. my phone camera is struggling.

[scithemodestmermaid]

...im not going to be able to finish subnautica below zero. its just such a far cry from the beauty and curiosity of the first game that its kind of offensive. heck, its a far cry from the first early access release version.

i liked cozy research experience. i liked alan being a prick from the get-go. i liked how the game didn't hold your hand in the early days. i liked the hints at how the story would go (live khaara sample ends up shot off to the research satellite, find and befriend sea emperors to fix it, alan gets a warper body along the way; i looked up story spoilers for the final release version and it IS SO BAD, people say the first story would have been bad but it would have been better than THIS). they changed it all for brownie points and just ended up creating forspoken long before forspoken itself became a meme.

the only good part about the game was the base building updates, but they put a lot of those back into og subnautica so there is honestly no reason to play below zero except possibly bile fascination.

if the true subnautica 2 they're announcing this year ends up being less like 1 and more like below zero then i give up.

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back to going through my backlog, finally going to finish subnautica below zero after dropping it halfway through early access because i was disappointed in the way it was going.

not even two minutes in and the main character throws out a line on the same level as "did i just move stuff with my freakin mind???" and im worried.

[scithemodestmermaid]

i didnt get to play pokemon games when i was a kid because reasons. i do remember reading a playthrough of silver once. the game that took shape in my head while i was reading was not a pixel rpg; it was fully 3d open world with a strange forboding vibe tangled with all the fun and cute critters scampering about.

of all the mons games i have played, palworld is the one that has come the closest to that mental image.

i have been playing the game on easy solo and it is surprisingly charming. there's all sorts of little details that keep the world alive. there's a pal that looks like a vulture plague doctor who goes around eating dead pals; i cannot recall a single time in ANY of the pokemon games where a mon where that would happen. and its something completely missable; the bird in question is only at night and only in a couple of spots (to my knowledge), but it is STILL programmed to do that just because. that is SOUL right there, i don't care who you are.

the game also solves a big problem i have with pokemon: useless mons. you know the ones, they have terrible stats so you can't use them in battle so all they do is sit in your box or get immediately released once you get them logged in the dex. but every pal can theoretically be used for something. don't have a glider? one of your pals can do that! need something cooked? one of your pals can do that! want someone to guard your base? one of your pals can do that! starving to death? one of your pals can - yeah, that one's a little sad, but that's life. even if its a pal that would be terrible in battle, you can use it for SOMETHING.

its a weird game. its survival open world crafting with not-pokemon (WAAH COPIED DESIGNS to be fair, gamefreak's been copying designs, people just don't realize it because pokemon is more popular than what they copied; plus, the pal designs that try to do their own thing more are so good, like the vulture i mentioned earlier and the cat/bat dude and the wererabbit with sword horns). but there's all sorts of details that the devs thought would be cool to have in a mons game, and guess what they are! i'm not too far in so stay tuned, opinion could change. but so far, good game, everyone needs to stop being so srs.

(oh and pretty much all the criticisms of abandonment and AI and whatever have been either unconfirmed or disproven, which leads me to believe they are made up by angry pokemon fans who accept no mons substitutes and are mad that this game is doing so well, which were then picked up by Twitter nerds who cling to every drama as truth, so don't @ me with any of that because i refuse to listen)

[scithemodestmermaid]

i did finish disintegration a few days back. i liked it. then again, i like bayformers for handsome robot men reasons and the entire game feels like a long lost bayformers movie. so what i'm saying is, if you follow this blog then you probably will find something or someone in disintegration to enjoy.

i will say there's a lot of complaints from the other twelve people who played it about how the main gravcycle mechanic handles, but i had no trouble with it. i will also say i called dibs on doyle, so he's off-limits, sorry. :-)

[scithemodestmermaid]

i am playing disintegration to completion. i've played it before but have always wandered off, ive decided it will be my first completed game of 2024.

so far, what i know the most is that i am going to smooch doyle on his big dumb face

btw the one on the right is doyle:

so as you can see, he's kinda my type. :)~

[scithemodestmermaid]

the flyfish exhibition

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also i want to sew more this year and started off with a Yehat from Star Control 2