scizophreniaworld-blog

[scizophreniaworld-blog]

Repetative history

I have been thinking about this for a while, this idea has been laying inside my subconscious mind for a long time, since I have encountered it in grade 5. I have heard that history repeats itself. And now I understand why. People are stuck in the cycles of repetative thoughts and actions. Thats why historically we get similar results. Its cliche to say that, but I will anyways, nowadays everything changes on a high speed. We as animals need time to adapt to the change. And when change happens to quickly we see ourselves stuck in a spiral.

Thats what happened to me when I was smoking weed. I was destroying everything I know about myself, to reconstruckt in my image. But then at some point voices came along. And due to binomial(if its not right, then it is wrong) way of thinking they have started telling me “I am gay”. But I dont know why they are telling me I am smartest person in the world. My thoeries will come later.

The same thing happens to the world. We are stuck in a binomial thinking. And when change happens, we “at the doorstep” of cognitive dissonance. And our knowledge of ourselves and the world around us fights our previous belief of the world.

[scizophreniaworld-blog]

“Darkness closing in”

These are words from Eminem’s song *Evil Twin* they mean a lot to me because there is acual darkness that people feel when they have recession during depression. Its like something you cant control tries to take over you, you feel helpless. But I think I have found a solution to this.

You

Have

To

Get

Over

Yourself.

Take control of your life. Its tough. But you have to do it. Otherwise you will find yourself in depressive cycle. Depression is a conplicated habit of hinking. Some might argue it is because of the way my neurotransimetters work. Yes its true, but think about what has caused it. YOU!!! Or at least your way of thinking. Its hard to be always productive, your not *ubermansch*. Or at least not yet. I want you to do least amount of work during your recession. And mindset is the game.

[scizophreniaworld-blog]

Repetative history

I have been thinking about this for a while, this idea has been laying inside my subconscious mind for a long time, since I have encountered it in grade 5. I have heard that history repeats itself. And now I understand why. People are stuck in the cycles of repetative thoughts and actions. Thats why historically we get similar results. Its cliche to say that, but I will anyways, nowadays everything changes on a high speed. We as animals need time to adapt to the change. And when change happens to quickly we see ourselves stuck in a spiral.

Thats what happened to me when I was smoking weed. I was destroying everything I know about myself, to reconstruckt in my image. But then at some point voices came along. And due to binomial(if its not right, then it is wrong) way of thinking they have started telling me “I am gay”. But I dont know why they are telling me I am smartest person in the world. My thoeries will come later.

The same thing happens to the world. We are stuck in a binomial thinking. And when change happens, we “at the doorstep” of cognitive dissonance. And our knowledge of ourselves and the world around us fights our previous belief of the world.

[scizophreniaworld-blog]

Intro to my world of schizophrenia

My schizophrenia feels like its trying to break me down to my core continuing what I was doing on weed. And it is constant fight with myself. At certain moments I feel like one side off my is losing a fight. And another one is winning. I agree that everyone fights themselves. But due to schizophrenia border line between my conscious and subconscious minds is blurred. And things that my subconscious mind thinks about my come out. Turning me into more depressed person. On the other hand, medications help deal with depression, but I feel more numb, dead inside.