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“Whether we're here in the house or out on a call, I'm watching you, I'm looking, I see you. When you look at me, What do you see?”

—Brianna Wiest

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But I think that’s a reflection of what people want in their own lives. There's something in that connection between Buck and Eddie that I think speaks to everybody. - Oliver Stark

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anyway today i'm thinking about buck apartment hunting. and how it's driving eddie crazy. how buck keeps talking about getting out of eddie and christopher's space. like he's in their way. like he's some sort of burden on them. and eventually eddie just, can't take it anymore. because it doesn't matter how many times he says, buck, we love having you here. you can stay as long as you want. you don't have to leave. buck's still being. well, buck. stuck in the belief that he doesn't really belong anywhere. so when buck tells eddie he won't be able to drive them home after their shift because he has an apartment viewing at nine, eddie's like, that's fine, bud. i can come with you. and buck's like, you really don't have to. it's across town and you'll be tired— and eddie's like, buck. let me come with you. and buck's like, o—okay. i mean, if you want. then, later. end of their shift rolls around and they're heading to buck’s truck, and eddie's like, keys? and buck's like, you wanna drive? and eddie shrugs, says, i had more coffee than you. and buck doesn’t argue, is too tired. it was a long shift. and well, he's a bit miserable. about going to see another apartment he probably won't like because it doesn't feel right. none of them feel right. so he tosses eddie the keys, reels off the address and slips into the passenger side. eddie turns the radio on low, talks. about that movie they're planning to see tonight, it's showing at 8:00. they could grab dinner first. about christopher's upcoming school faire. buck nods, mumbles something about baking cookies for him. listens to eddie's voice, quiet and comforting. lets his eyes slip closed. half dreams of eddie's kitchen. opens his eyes again ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes later. he's not sure. and—

blinks.

because eddie's pulled the truck to a stop. and this isn't—well. this isn’t the apartment buck was scheduled to see. this is 4995 south bedford street. and buck turns to eddie, confused. and eddie's smiling, soft, a little nervous. a little something else. something charged. something sure. and he says, want me to show you around? i think you're gonna love what this place has to offer. maybe even who. and buck's like, eddie, what—? and eddie reaches out, slides his hand over buck’s shoulder, thumb dragging softly over buck's collarbone. says, go with it, buck. and buck stares, nods. heart hammering in his chest. finally says, breathes, okay, show me what this place has to offer. and eddie smiles, and his hand moves, softly, slowly. up from buck's shoulder, over buck's face, thumb just under buck's lip. lingers there briefly. then he says, follow me. so buck does. buck follows him home. and eddie shows him around. tells buck all of the things buck already knows. and all of the stupid things buck told the potential subletters. meth lab jim. and buck laughs and worries his heart is going to burst out of him. and when they get to the bedroom, eddie kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him. says against buck's mouth, so what do you think? like what this place has to offer? as he presses his thigh between buck's. and buck lets out a breathless gasp of a laugh. says, yeah i think this is the one.

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20 minutes!

See yall on the other side.

💗

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More from Spilling the ETea with Ryan and Oliver, talking about how Maddie and Eddie were originally the ship.

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Aisha’s portraits for the Disney Upfronts 2025 ☀️

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it wouldn't be so crazy

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Aisha in New York via her stories ✨

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this song is so buddie-coded,, also i’m buddiemaxxing so hard until the finale you can’t stop me

scp lesbianbuckleysscp

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Say it with me-

"you make it all about you" was an asshole thing to say at that moment when Buck was, in fact, not doing that.

"we all lost him" scene was showcasing Eddie's anger and him displacing it onto Buck and lashing out bc he's mad at himself for not being there and doesn't know what to do with it. This was an asshole move and he should not have done it.

"went to the airport" was a jerk move that was petty and hurtful but at the end of the day not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things bc no one actually left and he literally came back after a couple hours Buck just wasn't there at the time.

"heard some dick was being mean to you" this was, in fact, acknowledging that Eddie was in the wrong and Eddie understands he was acting unfairly and was initiating him trying to make up for his bad behaviour. Yes he doesn't say the words I'm sorry, yes I would have liked to see him say it too, but him and Buck have built a years-long understanding where they express themselves through ACTIONS over WORDS. Being able to spend time with Chris and having a nice dinner with the Diazes, that quality time together, was a far better apology for someone like Buck than a bland im sorry could ever have been.

Yes, the way Eddie behaved was rude. Yes he got needlessly aggressive, yes his grief doesn't excuse this it only explains it. But. He did not hit Buck. Buck is not scared of Eddie. Eddie did not set out to gaslight or manipulate or emotionally devastate Buck. He was acting emotionally, without thought, and when his anger settled and he realised he'd messed up he fixed it in a way he knew Buck would appreciate. How tf does that make him an abuser?

Gods forbid a fictional character act like a flawed human being instead of a paragon of virtue and green flagism.

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“You’ve been spiralling, since the funeral, and no one knows how to talk to you about it.” The truth slips out easy when all Eddie feels is anger.

There’s other feelings too, simmering right underneath the surface. Loneliness, maybe. Desperation.

He doesn’t know what Buck is going to say. He used to be able to, but these past weeks have driven them in completely different directions, and he can’t predict where this conversation leads anymore. Buck’s face is emotionless when he speaks up. “Sorry I’m sad that Bobby’s dead.” And that—

Eddie gets all up in Buck’s space then, a hand on his shoulder — a familiar feeling — his finger in his face, and he can’t keep his emotions in check anymore. Not with Buck being like this— so infuriating, so closed off, refusing to acknowledge everything that’s happening, everything that has happened, only daring to look at a portion of it, the fraction of it that Buck can handle.

“You’re not the only one that lost him,” Eddie spits out, and he can feel Buck’s eyes search his own. His breath feels hot on Eddie’s skin, they’re standing so close. “We all lost him,” he says, the anger in his voice easy to pick out.

He wants to cry. Scream, even. Wants to get it into Buck’s head that he is not okay. Hasn’t been in weeks.

Buck doesn’t say a word for a long time, only looks at him, and Eddie wants him to ask. He wants him to ask how it felt to pick up the phone, how it felt to hear the news, and how desperately alone Eddie felt sitting by himself on his bedroom floor with no one to comfort him, no one to cry with him. No one to quench his sobs, only himself.

“We’re all just trying our damn best to get through it!”

He lets go of Buck then, but Buck catches his wrist with his hand. “Eddie, I—” Buck searches for words, not quite meeting his gaze anymore. “I’m sorry. I know.” His hand still carefully clenched around Eddie’s wrist, not letting him get too far away from him.

Eddie’s just about to open his mouth when—

“I-I didn’t want to ask because… I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to picture— I should’ve been with you.” The last part comes out almost as a whisper, and Buck finally looks properly at Eddie again. Sees him.

“You should’ve— what do you mea— I should’ve been here, Buck!” Eddie’s own voice is so loud in comparison to Buck’s soft tone.

And Buck’s eyes looks so sad. Eddie feels like someone is stabbing him in the gut, over and over and over. His best friend isn’t allowed to look like that, ever. “I should’ve been here,” he says then, calmer, quieter, tears pressing hot behind his eyes. One escapes, travelling from his eye down, down, down his cheek.

Buck lifts his hand, the one not still holding onto Eddie’s wrist, and with his thumb he catches the lonesome tear. His hand lingers on Eddie’s face, and Eddie’s eyes flutter shut at the delicate touch.

“It’s okay,” Buck whispers, dragging Eddie closer before he’s wrapping his arms around him in a hug. “It’s okay.”

And Eddie falls apart in Buck’s arms. In their kitchen. He sobs into the crook of Buck’s neck, his own hands reaching around Buck’s waist to meet at his lower back. He sobs.

“I should’ve— I should’ve been here, Buck,” he gets out between his whimpers. Buck doesn’t say anything, only lets one hand travel up to Eddie’s hair, burying it in it. And if possible, he holds Eddie even tighter.

They stand like that for what feels like a really long time, until Eddie’s eyes are all dried up, until his body doesn’t feel like his own anymore, until he can barely hold himself up from exhaustion. He’s so tired of feeling like this. Disconnected, lonely, desperate. He pulls slowly away from Buck then, his hands still resting on Buck’s waist.

Buck’s eyes are blotched and red-rimmed, searching for something on Eddie’s face. He can’t quite figure out what until Buck leans forwards and catches Eddie’s lips with his own.

And oh.

Oh.

He doesn’t kiss back, and Buck reels back faster than lightning, takes a step or two backwards, letting go of Eddie in the process. Eddie’s hands fall uselessly down to his sides, without anything to hold onto anymore. Eddie wishes he didn’t stop.

“Buck, I—”

“I’m sorry. I-I, that was, like, really inappropriate, I shouldn’t have— Maddie kept going on about— I mean, that doesn’t even matter, I-I don’t know what came over me, I mean we are supposed to be— I don’t—”

Eddie manages to pull a little smile, just because he has missed the way Buck rambles when he’s nervous, but maybe also a little because he feels like he just cracked the code of the universe. It stops Buck in his tracks completely; he looks like his brain is working overtime to understand Eddie’s facial expressions, and he falls silent as Eddie takes a step closer to him.

“Eddie—”

Now it’s Eddie’s turn to say “It’s okay, Buck.”

His hands cup Buck’s face, who looks like he was just struck by lightning. Again. Ha ha.

“It’s okay,” he whispers into the space between them as he leans forwards and kisses Buck. He’s rewarded at once with a sigh from Buck whose whole body loosens up under his touch, like he had been holding his breath for a century and could finally let it out.

Buck’s hands find his waist, and he pulls them infinitely closer, holds him like Eddie is something precious, something worthy. The word catches in Eddie’s brain as his lips drag against Buck’s. Worthy. Maybe he is, after all. Worthy of what, he doesn’t quite know yet. But maybe he can let himself have this, at least.

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i don’t understand why people are blowing up and raging, seething even, over a character who is processing and going through so much grief (like they all are!!!) and who happened to lash out for a few seconds on his best friend, his safe space, his roommate; he literally apologises the next day by admitting to being a dick and brings his son home so they can all be together— yes he was mean, they were both mean, eddie said things and buck also said things, grief is fucking ugly and raw and harsh and it gets the best of us and sometimes it makes us say things we don’t necessarily mean or want to say, and with these two idiots (said lovingly) who have done nothing but miscommunicate this season of course it was leading up to an argument, eddie wanted buck to ask and buck wanted eddie to tell him but neither was willing to do that without the other going first. that doesn’t mean either of them were in the wrong, they’re literally still mourning the loss of their captain, their dad, their friend. anyway eddie i love u

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4.8 x 8.17

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and if i said this is my last buddie edit before we get canon gay!eddie? what then?

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The 911onabc instagram is pushing the Eddie propaganda. What is this 😭

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Which could mean nothing

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I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh