scoredandstoried - Tumblr blog

[scoredandstoried]

It's not that Oz doesn't expect the kiss - it's all he wants, and they've texted enough, spoken enough since their time apart, that he knows they're both still interested.

Maybe he's just surprised by how much he's needed it.

Oz's crutch clatters to the floor. Is this a good start? He laughs against his mouth - warm, tasting exactly the way he remembers. His arms shift to wrap both around Ric's waist - he uses the hold to keep himself from falling, but between the other man's body and the counter against his own back, he knows he's fine. Perfectly able to use his hands. A freedom to tug him as close as he can get him.

"Pretty fuckin' good." He mumbles and his voice is rough, and low, and desperate. Shit, he's missed every part of him. Things had gotten too much, too busy. Oz had sunk himself into his work and forgotten what was important.

Nearly dying really has a way of bringing it all crashing back. So does the smell of Ric's cologne, and the feeling of his trim waist under his hands...

The kiss was nice, but Oz needs more. They both do. Forehead against forehead and he catches him in a slower one. Taking his time to taste him, to let teeth pull his mouth open for his tongue. It lasts a lifetime and at the same time, it's over too quickly.

"You always were so good at taking care of me... I never fuckin' appreciated it enough..." He murmurs, as hands slip to tug the silken shirt Ric's wearing from where it's tucked in. Get warm fingers on warmer skin at the small of his back. "If anyone should be taking care of someone else..." Mouth against his jaw, neck. Needy.

I'm not letting you slip away again.

"...Then it's me, sweetheart."

"I did. " He wasn't about to admit that he had sounded the alarm to Damien because he was panicking a bit over what outfit he should wear. It was actually a bit embarrassing how worried he was over looking just right for tonight's dinner, especially since he no longer had a single thought about the dinner part of tonight in his head anymore.

It felt nice to be like this with Oz again, a feeling he never thought he'd be able to feel again, and he wanted nothing more than to go slow with everything just to enjoy every moment even longer. At the same time all he wanted was to clash his lips against his ex-boyfriend's and taste him once more. That desire only grew as the other wrapped his arm around Ricardo's waist, holding him closer.

"Oz.." He whispers his name, trying to keep his breathing as steady as possible. Ricardo could feel his heart pounding in his throat at the way Oz spoke, sending shivers up (and down) his spine. He very carefully moves the pasta to another part of the stove that wasn't hot before turning off the stove top. "I want nothing more than to take care of you..." his voice trails off as he leans in a little more, closing the little distance between them, gently pressing a kiss to his lips.

There was a sweetness of passion in the kiss, even if it was brief, he couldn't help how he got lost in it. "Is this a good start?"

[scoredandstoried]

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Oz likes pet names, a lot. Especially when a significant other calls him one. He will sometimes start to use little nicknames and pet-names if he wants to get closer to someone, or if he just finds them cute. It depends on how comfortable the other person is, though! He'll try to abstain if it's making someone feel weird or uncomfortable.

AFFECTION ALPHABET - ASA // OZ // MARS // ASHWIN // AVIEL

[scoredandstoried]

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Oz is often a pretty cold and sarcastic person - but when he shows affection, he often does it through actions and touch. If he's into someone, he will want to touch them all over, often. An arm around the waist, someone snuggling up in his bed. Hand-holding is a big thing for him too. But he'll also do things like little gifts, small tokens of affection. Remembering a coffee order, getting them something he thinks they'd like.

AFFECTION ALPHABET - ASA // OZ // MARS // ASHWIN // AVIEL

[scoredandstoried]

He sets his things down. “I would prefer to hear everything, so if that means taking your time…” Then by all means.

Oz knows about Mathias’s promotion, because he handles money and payroll. He knows everyone’s salaries - has to budget for it. Is he still confused why the hitman got a raise? Maybe. But he’s not the one who makes decisions - the bosses have made that very clear. Oz sits and clicks away on a calculator, gets the lists done and hands them in. He doesn’t bring up ideas any more, he doesn’t bother. Because if it doesn’t come from the big guys, then no one gives a shit.

“Is it about the raise?” Oz asks, clicking a pen as he motions for Matty to sit behind the desk with him. 

"Yeah, that means you deal with money right?" In his defense, Mathias never bothered to learn about terms like that. Oz dealt with money in some aspect, which made him an expert. He shrugged, "Not sure if it'll be quick or not. Would you prefer I take my time, Oz?" Mathias grinned and leaned on the counter. "A seat is fine with me. Are you okay to stop working for a while?"

[scoredandstoried]

He looks up and his brow furrows in confusion. Security systems? Breaking into someone’s house? Too much. Oz knows far too much about how to slip in and out of someone’s place. But why?

“….did someone break in?” He puts two and two together pretty easily by how she’s talking, and his expression hardens, lips forming a hard line. “Are you alright? What the hell happened?”

If you get too soft, the fuckin' vultures get you. Oz certainly wasn't wrong. Mathias was a vulture and he had swooped in when Isabelle least expected it. She still didn't understand. The medic had done nothing but help him, and he had broken into her apartment and hurt her. Made her hurt herself. Isabelle had to show that she wouldn't let it slide, right? That she wasn't someone that Matty could come back to attack again.

"Oz, I need your help." She spoke quietly, taking a big swig of her wine as she glanced over at the other. "And don't laugh at me when I say this but... What do you know about security systems? About breaking into someone's house? About making a vulture know that you won't be an easy target again. I think I need some help to get a little more hardcore if I'm going to stay in this. And it's not like you get much of a choice once you're in."

[scoredandstoried]

Does he hold books? Not often. He does it for Aria. Certainly done it for a few Syndicate folks. But…

“Usually only if they fascinate me.” And he turns his eyes on Flynn, because the adorable man has a penchant for asking about the obvious. And so Oz clarifies: “And before you ask, yes. That means I find you fascinating.” A smirk as he turns back to the book. 

Waxed thread in his hand, a few old scars just barely visible on tan skin. “Normally the book already has the spots where the old thread bound it….” He continues on as if they aren’t having an odd conversation between the lines. 

Flynn has a faint smile on his lips as he waits for Oz to grab a pen -- only taking it once he had taken his hand away from it. "Thank you." Flynn ran his tongue over his lips as he opened the notebook and flipped to a blank page.

"Do you do that for other people?" Flynn found himself asking as his eyes lifted from the page, up to meet Oz's gaze. "Hold books for them, like you do me." Because only someone that is a friend would do that, right? "I appreciate it, you know. The books. More than I know how to express." A pause. "Books... they've always helped. Life can suck sometimes but books help, you know?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded -- mostly to himself -- as Oz began explaining the book binding process. Flynn immediately put his pen to the paper, taking as many notes as he could. No amount of information was irrelevant to him.

[scoredandstoried]

[scoredandstoried]

It's embarrassing how easily Oz is done in by those eyes. It's also why he's stunned that Ricardo hasn't been snatched back up. He's the most gorgeous man he's ever seen - traffic-stopping. The kind who looks, from across the room, like he smells good. Who has the prettiest stars in his eyes when he blinks.

And you hope you get caught up in that night sky too.

"Did you have fun with the friend?" Oz isn't a conversationalist - not in a traditional way. They both know that. And he's almost relieved for the hand that slips over his own. The ex-hitman is reluctant to let go and let Ric take the reins, if only so his fingers can stay enveloped in the warmth of his grasp for a bit longer.

The hand slips away, finally, so Ricardo can stir. And he shifts the free arm to slip around his ex's waist. Tuck around the small of his back where that soft silky shirt looks so perfect on his frame.

"Hardly did anything... but I'm not gonna complain about you taking care of me." His voice is a rough murmur, close to Ric's ear and cheek. He leans into one crutch, and into the other's body just a bit. "The point was to cook for you, after all. And you supplied the wine, didn't you? Seems a fare trade off, honestly."

"One glass of wine coming up," Ricardo replied, moving into the kitchen. The thing was, Ricardo wasn't thinking about the wine or dinner. His mind was on how good his ex-boyfriend looked, and it was becoming incredibly difficult to keep reminding himself that he had to keep his hands to himself. Thankfully he knew how to maneuver around Oz's kitchen, having done it many times before, so he was able to retrieve the glasses without having to think too much on where everything was.

He steals a glance in Oz's direction in between filling the glasses. In all honesty he just wanted to take in as much of him as he could because he was almost scared that Oz would just disappear into thin air. And god how he wanted to abandon this wine bottle and preoccupy himself by coming up behind Oz and wrapping his arms around him while he cooked. "So, you want to know about my day," he says, smiling, filling the second glass, "I met up with a friend, took Teddy to the park, and I had a very pleasant conversation with this very handsome, special guy." He was referring to their earlier text messages, coming up beside the other with the glasses in hand. "How about you, handsome? How was your day?"

For a second, he watches Oz stir the pasta around but the urge to just want to at least hold his hand became too much and he momentarily sets his glass of wine down on the counter to shift a little closer to the other. "Let me help you," he offers, reaching out to carefully place his hand over the one Oz was using to stir the pasta, looking at him for a moment, "I'll plate the food for us. You've done so much already. Let me take care of you now, yeah?"

[scoredandstoried]

Oz has moved on to easier topics - work. Books. The things he knows pretty well. It's something he can actually discuss without being unsure if the other's understanding.

Because he knows Flynn knows books. That's good enough for him.

Flynn settles to sit near him. Has a notebook already, and Oz reaches for a pen that sits on the desk, sliding it over. He only looks back over when the younger man mentions the books again. His sometimes severe gaze softens as he eyes Flynn for a moment. "They might want them, but they can special order them. I'd hardly be keeping every single book for you... it's okay to have some to yourself. Just the ones I think you'd enjoy." He chuckles, before turning back to the book.

"So we buy a specific thread... it's thicker, almost like a twine. And it comes waxed..." He begins explaining.

Part of Flynn wanted to ask if Oz was upset with him. If him reacting that way to the word babe meant that he might not want to be friends. Or maybe, that he didn't want Flynn there at all. But if that was the case... wouldn't the man have asked Flynn to leave already?

"I'd like that, yeah." Flynn said as he settled into a chair next to Oz. He rummaged through his own satchel and pulled out a notebook that he kept. He used it for thoughts throughout the day or keeping track of appointments he had for work. He continued to look for his pen, only to come up empty. "Do you have an extra pen? I seem to have lost mine." A pause. "I'll give it back when I'm done."

He sat his bag next to him on the ground. "The books." Flynn tilted his head slightly. "I mean... yeah. But I already come here a lot. Surely people will want some of the books I like as well." A smirk forms on his lips. "I can't keep them all for myself."

[scoredandstoried]

Of course Ricardo looks stunning. He's hardly ever seen him look less than stunning. Even this famed bedhead Ric speaks of - it's an effortless type of messy, a tousled perfection that one couldn't capture in photographs. Soft around the edges. Something Oz has always liked about his ex. The soft corners of his smile, his eyes.

Oz has always been the more apathetic one. It's harder to get him to crack a smile in a normal conversation - even out at bars and clubs before his accident, many would assume he wasn't having a good time. Almost always dressed in some nice, stylish suit or something.

Ric always seemed to get his... weirdness. His sarcasm, his teasing. He shifts into his crutches and uses them to walk back to the kitchen. "Looks perfect. You know where the glasses are." Because he does. He knows where everything is - spare blankets, Oz's alarming amount of puzzles, the spare phone chargers.

Breathtaking. Truly a word better suited for his date for the evening, but. It does get a rare look of shyness from the ex-hitman. He gives the pasta a stir, leaning into the countertop so he can utilize one arm.

"Tell you what? Why don't you pour the wine, come keep me company while I finish up. Tell me about your day." Just spend time with me. Look at me that way you do. Stand as close as possible. Be in my space.

Ricardo had been waiting for Oz to call or text him from the second they decided to call it quits. He had wanted to reach out time and time again to his ex-boyfriend, just to hear his voice, to see his phone light up with his name, anything, but he didn't because the guy truly thought the other was long over him and their past. When they ran back into each other at the auction the very last thing Ricardo thought was going to happen was that the two of them would be meeting up at Oz's place for dinner down the line.

He had spent the first portion of the day bothering Damien over what outfit would look good on, which ones he should completely scrap, what he should say, how his hair looked, just trying to make himself look as perfect as he possibly could. It was his way of trying to impress Oz, because he wanted nothing more than to keep the man's attention while he still had it to keep. He even made sure to wear his very best cologne for the evening. Once he knew he had Damien's blessing for his outfit, knowing his friend would never steer him wrong, he then made a quick pit stop at Esme's house to drop off Teddy (his new pup). Originally, he WAS going to bring him along to meet Oz but the possibility of spending the night made him switch those plans last minute.

7pm

Finally, the time to meet Oz had come. He showed up with his shirt just slightly unbuttoned, a rose/wine in hand, and butterflies swirling around in his stomach. All he can hope for now is that the evening would go okay, and he wouldn't somehow mess things up. But...the moment the door opens and his eyes land on Oz, the grin he had on his face, and his scent he caught a faint smell of, it melted every worry of his away. "Is that so?" He jokingly replies, smiling brightly at the other. He was beautiful. How could he possibly fall for Oz even more every time their eyes? "You're just ever the charmer, hm?" He softly chuckled, leaning in, giving Oz a gentle and quick hug. "I hope it's okay that I brought you this..." he trails off, offering the rose to him, "...and that Teddy didn't make it this evening. Next time, though." As he steps into the all too familiar place, Ricardo could feel his chest tighten. "It smells great in here, Oz. I can't wait. Is there anything I can help with?" He pauses, looking at the other again, "You look amazing, by the way. Truly. Breathtaking."

[scoredandstoried]

( @brkwingss )

He's going to make dinner. And that alone is a big deal - something Oz used to enjoy doing far more when there weren't so many obstacles in his way. He's usually ordering out or making something simple.

Today, he has Ricardo coming over. And from the conversation, it seems like he'll be staying the night. It's the first time in a while- and Oz is overthinking just about everything. Down to the sheets on the bed, if the sofa's where it was back when he and Ric were dating. Would he like a pasta dish? Alfredo or vodka sauce? He's second-guessing everything he knows about him. The things he's learned in their years together - all because he just wants everything to somehow be okay.

And when he leans into his forearm crutches, dinner already in the works, and walks himself carefully to the door at the knocking... when he sees Ric, he briefly feels like maybe it will be okay. A dumb grin is on his face before he can help it. "For your information, the bedhead's probably gonna be the highlight of all this." He teases. "That... smile's a close second though. Thanks for coming. Dinner's almost done."

[scoredandstoried]

In reality, even Oz isn't sure if he's asking purely in a friendly way. The closer Ricardo leans, the more he thinks about reaching out. He misses running his thumb over that lower lip. Such a pretty face, that angled chin too. Oz used to make an evening out of kissing every inch of it. Down to his jaw, the indent of his neck... the smell of his cologne.

Shit. It's still on some of his clothes. A sweater he rarely wears, afraid the scent will dissipate.

"Means a lot to me that... you want to. Come over, spend time with me. All that shit." The corner of Oz's lip crooks up. The other keeps leaning fucking closer, and finally he reaches out to take his hand. Because what else is he supposed to do? When he's right there? And looking at him like that?

A quick nod. As fingers slot together, he holds it as if he's afraid of Ric disappearing. "Yeah. Same number, same everything. Just text me whenever you're comfortable." A small breath as he releases the hand after a squeeze. "Okay?"

"Don't rush your progress, Oz. It'll happen how it's supposed to happen, sometimes it just takes a little longer than expected. It's okay." He wanted to reach over and take Oz's hand in his, but he reminded himself that he wasn't allowed to just reach over to take Oz's hand anymore and instead gave him a gentle reassuring smile. It was almost physically painful how much he ached and missed him. He missed their long talks in person, on the phone, messaging him before bed and first thing in the morning, and just being around him.

"For..." he clears his throat a little, " for what it's worth, Oz, it really means a lot to hear you say that." As Oz continued to speak Ricardo could feel his heart racing with every word that left his lips, and he had to fight how they pulled him towards the other. This was just a friendly invite, they were broken up, Ricardo had to keep reminding himself of this despite what his heart truly wanted to believe.

Still, the invite to dinner at Oz's place instantly flooded him with memories of when he used to spend his days, nights, and all of spare time there. So many moments were shared between the two of them behind those closed doors. "All of that sounds amazing, Oz." He once more leans in, smiling, trying his hardest to keep his heart from racing too much as he tries to speak calmly, "I would love to get coffee and drinks with you. Any day, any time. All you have to do is just say the word." He pauses for a second before continuing, still softly smiling. "A dinner at your place sounds like a dream, especially if it's going to help brighten your day. I'd love that. Do you still have the same number?" He asked, a bit nervously. "Perhaps I could text you and we could plan a date and time? I mean, if..that's okay."

[scoredandstoried]

There's no need to apologize, no need to even dwell on it. Oz has had plenty of failed flirting attempts in his time - it's par for the course. He shakes his head, eager to move on to the books.

"Yeah, you can watch. I can tell you what I'm doing as I'm doing it, too. Maybe you can take notes." He's picking up his glasses and settling them onto his nose, tucking the legs behind his ears. He normally only wears them for his working on books, since he has to focus on such little details.

Oz is picking up a needle, and thread specifically for the book he already has ready to go. "You know you're welcome around the books at any time." He adds, eyes turning their gaze from the book back to Flynn.

"I'm sorry." Flynn said, immediately. Because what else was he supposed to say? He had reacted horribly -- again -- and he didn't want to upset Oz. Flynn actually liked Oz and that was rare for him to find someone that he liked enough to try to be friends with. But now, he was worried that he'd fucked it up before he could even start the friendship.

"Yeah, I don't mind. I like being here around the books, anyway." And being around you is nice as well. "I don't have to touch the ones you're fixing but... can I watch?" Flynn hadn't learned a new hobby in a while and he was intrigued by the art of book binding. "I promise I won't touch the books or even try to do it myself."

[scoredandstoried]

apache tears: a sadness headcanon

When Oz gets upset, he either gets despondent or he gets pissed. For something like sadness, he often feels hollow and will do anything to get himself feeling again. Even if that’s screaming, or pinching himself. Throwing his face into ice cold water- something to shock the system. He ends up pouring himself into work or else he’ll think too much about whatever sad thing has happened, and he’ll spiral. And spiraling will often lead to worse vices for him.

[scoredandstoried]

[scoredandstoried]

The self-deprecation makes Oz's brow furrow and he shakes his head. I'm weird, he says. So is Oz. Everyone's got something weird to them, after all. Some bullshit baggage or trauma. He gets it.

And not minding it doesn't really make it sound like he's into it. Saying Oz can call him whatever he likes... again, it puts all this power back in the ex-hitman's hands. None in Flynn's. And gives Oz no better idea of what Flynn thinks about him.

So he just shakes his head. "It's fine, Flynn. Let's move on." Because it feels like it'll just go in circles. Oz had probably been a bit too forward, and he shouldn't have. That was his mistake. "But yeah. Think you could help out, even if it's just categorizing. I could show you some of the basics of fixing the book-binding... but that stuff, I'd really have to trust you to do it well. These things are often pretty rare."

"No, no. That's not... It's fine. I'm not upset. Just..." Confused. And he hated that about himself. That he read into everything everyone said, even with people he was comfortable with. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Oz to tell him that he was fucking with him. That he didn't actually like him in any way. That the books he had offered him weren't actually his. Everything about every interaction he had, he drew towards the more negative results of it.

"It's just... me. I'm weird. Not used to nicknames like that or anything." Flynn admitted to Oz. "I don't mind it, I just don't understand why." He absentmindedly began flipping through one of the books. The nicknames he was used to was the negative kind. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel weird about it. You can call me whatever you'd like."

He closed the book, his eyes flickering over to the other. "You want my help?" Honestly, Flynn would love to stay there all day with the books. And if he could do something to help Oz, then all the better. "Yes. I'd like that, actually." Flynn said with a smile. "And maybe... maybe sometime, you could teach me what you do with the old books?" He asked as he motioned towards the one that Oz was working on.

[scoredandstoried]

There’s a thousand things he could say to Ricardo’s simple offer to do anything to brighten his day. Call him more? Text him more? Just… look at him with those long eyelashes, that gorgeous smile, for a little bit longer? Fuck. Just stand there. So Oz can bask in his warmth for a moment longer.

Somehow, that would do it. It always does it.

Shit. He doesn’t normally have issues moving on. A mutual decision meant it should be easier, right? And yet Ric makes a little joke about wanting to flirt with him more at that event. Smiles in that way that melts the hard icy exterior around the ex-hitman just a tiny bit.

Oz leans into his arm, and scratches under his chin. He hates how well Ricardo knows him. “I dunno. I feel like shit, and like I can’t make progress quick enough. And like… I’m going through the motions. Like a SIM, yeah.” He actually chuckles at that. Shoots Ricardo a look. 

“You…” Communicating emotions again. Tough. “…you always make me feel good, Ric.” A sigh, scrubbing at his temples. “I’d.. like to see you more often. Maybe… coffee or drinks. More than once in a blue moon, I dunno. If you wanted.” An exhale. “Or dinner at my place.” Ricardo knows the place. He’s been there, slept there, so many times before. "That... would brighten my day. I think."

"Yeah, I had some fun. I definitely got those free drinks in. Flirting? Taking someone home? Nah. You know, I was going to flirt it up with this cute guy I ran into that night, but we were both parted in different directions before I could get that far in the conversation." He was referring to the very brief interaction he had with Oz that evening, even giving him a playful wink.

It was strange how for a brief moment it felt like things were normal between the two of them, but then that awkward quietness hit and reminded him of the reality they were actually in. They were exes that dated for three years, and despite his affairs with certain other individuals in NYC, Ricardo never stopped missing Oz. He was his first in everything, how could one just let that go? That was an answer he was still searching for. And meeting Oz's gaze, well, that was something Ricardo thought he'd only relive in his memories; it certainly didn't help with his mission of trying to let Oz go.

"You don't..have to say things to make me feel good, Oz. We aren't dating anymore. It's okay." It's not what he wanted to say but it was what Ricardo felt he needed to say in order to keep himself going with their conversation. If he allowed himself to believe that there was even the smallest part of Oz that had missed him, or wanted him around still, it would be all over for his mission in trying to remain friends with his ex. Friends? Was that even possible for the two of them?

"Honestly? I kinda get it. Some days it feels like I am just trapped in this never-ending video game of the SIMS and it's just never going to get better. Other days? Man..I feel like I have the world in the palm of my hands, but those days are very rare and far in between each other." Between working at the laundromat, occasionally fixing cars, fixing his apartment from falling to pieces when the weather was shit, it just felt like the guy had lost whatever fun life had to offer him. "Listen," he leans in a little, offering Oz a soft smile, "if there is anything I can do to help brighten your days a bit more all you have to do is just ask, okay? I'd do whatever I can to help." Leaning back a bit to give the other a bit more space, he softly chuckled, "I mean, assuming I am still able to make you feel good in some way, shape, or form."