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Fanfic so good you gotta stop and scroll on social media to not get overwhelmed

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having long distance friends is so fucked. do you wanna come over to my house and play (it will cost us 1 william dollars)

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"came back wrong" but it's from a nap

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Let's be intimidating blob with mama

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Had pho so good I’ve sworn myself to defend Vietnam with my life

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dude you gotta watch severance it's so exciting. in season 2 they go outside

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no i am not immune to early 2000s pop-punk music that fucks a little harder than everyone likes to admit

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actually the reveal that there was no timeskip at all is hysterical. milchick really spent that whole weekend going all over town firing people, hiring people, putting together insane fruit baskets, and serving cunt in his motorcycle helmet. then at the orders of the board he had to very quickly fire the people he hired, rehire the people he fired, commission an oil painting for the severed floor lobby, redecorate the break room, and put together an award-winning claymation corporate apology video designed to showcase the new innie perks and reforms that don't exist as well as that one time helena eagan's innie sucked face with the innie whose outie his ex-boss is obsessed with. where is HIS waffle party

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The only adhd tips that work:

1. Never tell anyone what you're planning to do until you do it (you will get a premature dopamine hit and sense of accomplishment from telling them and lose motivation to actually do it)

2. Never sit down (never sit down)

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Found this randomly on a walk. I didn't see any sharp blades or anything anywhere so I'm???

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May the force blow your tits clean off

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Those of you who weren't around in the 90s I gotta tell you about something

There was this animated film called Help! I'm A Fish! with a silly title about a group of three kids who drink a potion that turns them into fish and have to figure out how to undo it. Fun! It also has one of the most haunting death scenes I've ever watched

So the movie villain is Joe, a pilot fish who snags the 'turn back from a fish into a human' antidote and horfs it, making him more anthropomorphised and able to realise that if all fish get some of it, they can establish a society to rival humans. He's voiced by Alan Rickman. He has this banger song about giving all the fish in the world just enough intelligence to recognise him as their leader.

By the end of the movie Joe has obtained a large amount of anti-fish serum and is honestly too advanced for the kids, who are still basic fish, to outsmart. They actually can't beat him. He's gonna create some underwater dystopia that revolves around him.

So instead one of the kids starts asking him needlessly hard maths questions. Addicted to conscious thought, Joe takes the bait and downs more of the antidote so he can solve it. He gets riddles and rhetorical questions that he feels compelled to answer.

And as he drinks more of it his head warps as his brain grows. His spine protrudes through his back. His fins split apart into legs. His teeth are visibly falling out. On the last gulp, part of his fishy lips rip off, revealing a human chin. He is recognisably human.

The final question then hits him. "Can a human breathe underwater?"

As he triumphantly yells "Of course not" he realises his mistake. His now humanoid corpse floats away on the current.

It's a pretty smart way to beat a villain. But my god they really did draw all that.