scorpiogiiirl - Tumblr blog

[scorpiogiiirl]

bitches be like "these are my comfort characters!" and it's a group of murderers

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Can we talk about how sad Connor looks when Ned says he won't be there for his game.

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there isn’t a single moment i don’t miss him

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i know it’s been said before but no book character will literally ever be as iconic as peeta “if it weren’t for the baby” mellark. like in book 1 when he confesses to having a crush on katniss on live televsion, that’s strategic. he knows he won’t win the games but he can help keep katniss safe and send her home and get district 12 a victor. but in book 2 he’s like “well we’re all gonna die and there’s no stopping the games so i’m just gonna fuck shit up and make every capitol official’s life a living hell for as long as i can” and then he does. nobody is doing it like him

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Peaky Blinders characters as John Mulaney quotes

Arthur: I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation: now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.

Tommy: he could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.

Michael: I lived like a goddamned ninja turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time. I lived off of cigarettes and alcohol and adderall.

Polly: God can’t hear you

Ada: but you’ll never hear British billionaire in leather pants go “not funny!”

Linda: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

John: If you even fucking look at the hospital, I will stomp you to death with my hooves. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can stomp you with my hooves, I’m so fucking crazy.

Esme: yeah you can make fun of me. But just don’t say I’m a bitch and that you don’t like me.

Isaiah: if you are comparing the badness of 2 words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.

May: ‘how could a human being kill another human being" and then I got cheated on and I was like “oh okay”

Lizzie: this is an on-fire garbage can. Could be a nursery.

Alfie: okay when you get kidnapped, not if, when.

Grace: they’re perfectly named. They’re not quite songs, they’re psalms. Its a word you’re meant to mishear.

Finn: you remember the scourge of muggings when you were in 2nd and 3rd grade.

Johnny dogs: he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled 'SCATTER’

Bonnie: Well… you know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time… and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.

Luca: hi I’m new in town and it gets worse

Billy kimber: that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking horse

Curly: you could pour soup in my lap and I’d probably apologize to you

Tatiana: the groom lifted the veil off the bride and then the other alter boy said “aww she’s ugly”

Aberama: I’ve never been, uh, killed by hit men so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments just before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.

[scorpiogiiirl]

If there was the option “talk with crying child about france” it would be all Tommy’s!

[scorpiogiiirl]

this is exactly the sort of information we the public needed to know 🥺

[scorpiogiiirl]

the losers club as john mulaney quotes

richie:

bill:

bev:

ben:

stan:

mike:

georgie:

eddie:

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richie: oh, come on, you like it when i call you ‘eds’ ;)

eddie:

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so i made another meme

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THEY CHOSE EACH OTHER 998 TIMES IF THIS ISNT YOUR OTP IDK WHAT IS

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psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang...

psychic: what the fuck

[scorpiogiiirl]

yeah they’re cute but would they rebel against the system 998 times with you

[scorpiogiiirl]

most episodes of black mirror: what if technology ruined and warped every aspect of our world until it was nothing but a chilling hell-scape where everything is made even more haunting by the stark and uncanny parallels these hypothetical worlds have to our own?

hang the dj & san junipero: what if,,,, true love,,, existed

[scorpiogiiirl]

🎶 Go, or go ahead and surprise me. 🎶

[scorpiogiiirl]

in this essay I will