scouseraven-blog

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(Since tumblr stretches images to horrific proportions that nobody asked for, I’m repeating the image twice in this post, one animated and one static. A bit strange I know, but please forgive me! XD)

A commission for @samcybercat! An older Louis, of Black Raven/PL4 fame! :D

On deviantArt here.

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"Try to make friends with Curly again...?"

(Louis looks at Badger as if he's just suggested moving the statue of Loosha with only his bare hands. Which might actually be an easier feat to accomplish than gettin Charlie to want to spend even two minutes in the same room as him. But it's Badger and if he says so then he most know what he's doing. And if it's about keeping Socket safe then Louis is definitely onboard with that.)

"All right then Badger, 'cause it's for you I'll see what I can do about Charlie. Can't make any promises, mind you."

(Then Badger goes on to give him a heartfelt confession about a lot of his past behaviour. Louis smiles at him genuinely. In all honesty he's kind of suspected as much before now, but it's good to hear Badger getting it out in the open.)

"I'm sorry you had to straight yourself up just for me. If it makes you feel any better, you're always gonna be the same Badger to me, like. And maybe I've not had as much cock as you have, but I'm all up for talking about puff stuff any time you wanna gab. Especially if it's to tell me how good Crow is or isn't in the sack. But back on track, I'm sure if we all keep an eye on Socket he'll come to us when he's ready. Now that him and Crow have finished having their little tiff I reckon Socket knows that we're always gonna be here for him no matter what. Now..."

(Louis glances across the table.)

"...Are you gonna finish this lot or should I?"

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"I dunno how Socket would react if I just went up and told him I've bonked a boy, though. Actually, I kinda wanna do that now, just to see his face."

(Louis allows himself a moment of amusement at picturing how surprised Socket would be, undoubtedly bombarding Louis with a million questions about what's happened. However, this moment is short-lived as Badger goes on to talk about the more serious implications of why Charlie might be paying attention to Socket. Louis nods in agreement with him.)

"To be honest, I don't know Charlie all that well. Like, we did what I told you about and then we've mostly stayed out of his way ever since, since he's not exactly my number one fan. But I do get the impression that he just enjoys getting attention from others. If Socket's smitten with him and he's paying Charlie a lot of compliments then that lad will deffo date him. But we both know that Socket can only go so long before he says the wrong thing. If that happens then Curly will rip him apart without a doubt. And I'm not sure I could deal with a broken-hearted Socket."

(A long sigh.)

"...This sounds like a big mess, Badgr. Do you think I should talk to Socket soon?"

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(This is all news to Louis. Of course he's known that something's been up with Socket for a while now, but he's just written it off as teenage mood-swings. Maybe he should have put two-and-two together about Charlie, but Louis never thought that someone as prissy as him would ever pay attention to Socket. Which is exactly what Badger says as well.)

"You don't think our little Socket is in trouble, do you?"

(Louis knows from experience and what he's heard of the Crow incident that Charlie is a bitter person who holds a grudge. If Socket gets involved in that then he might get seriously hurt, especially given his habit of putting his foot in his mouth. If there is something going on then Louis can only wonder how two hot-heads like Charlie and Socket have lasted even this long without exploding at each other. Unless they already have and that's why Socket was so upset over Christmas. Louis can only speculate.)

"All right then, I promise I won't tell him about what happened with me and Curly. But all the same, if Socket gets in over his head then it's our job to protect him, like. He's such a little thing, not as worldly as the two of us."

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"Well maybe in some alternate universe Charlie came crawling on his knees to you, crying 'oh sweet Badger, show me how to be a man'."

(Louis's laughing as he says it. And he only continues to chuckle when Badger starts to defend Crow's honour. As far as Louis can see, both Crow and Charlie are kind of all right guys. They're not bad on the eyes, but neither of them are on Louis's list for real. He'd probably deem them as being equally as attractive as each other, but he can understand why Badger would be biased in favour of Crow, seeing that they've been dating for some time and Badger's been interested in him for even longer than that.

He's about to make some sarcastic comment back, but suddenly Badger's expression changes. His eyes grow wide and he mumbles Socket's name. Then he goes on to blurt out something that leaves Louis surprised.)

"Socket's in love with Curly? When did that happen!"

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(Badger is completely taken in by Louis's story, so much so that the scouser feels bad for stretching the truth. He reasons to himself that no one's going to get harmed by his story and even if word does get back to Charlie he's only going to deny the whole thing anyway, but even so Badger is so impressionable at times that Louis should know better than to string him along.

All doubts are driven from his head as Badger laments Louis's feat, however. He can't stop himself from feeling smug when Badger acts like he's scored the best looking lad in Misthallery.)

"Yeah, well few people are immune to the Louis charm. Even Charlie has fallen for me once upon a time, although it was fated not to be. Why do you think he's so salty around me, like? But yeah, anyway, it was all right. Not the best I've ever had by a longshot, but he was only just wanting to learn the ropes, so what would you expect? I gave him a rundown of the basics and then sent him on his way."

(He gives Badger a cheeky wink before he says the next part.)

"...I'm sure in the not-too-distant future that whoever ends up with Charlie will be thanking me for all my hard work."

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Title: Scratchings on the Aviary – Louis & Charlie Rating: OT Genre: Romance??? Series: Professor Layton Shipping(s): Louis/Charlie Character(s): Louis, Charlie, minor OCs (Charlie's parents), Finch Spoilers: Professor Layton and the Spectre's Call Summary: Louis and Charlie have come to an agreement. They're doing each other a favour. And that was all there was to it. Notes: A ficlet created to fill a gap in an on-going RP with spectrumv, giving a brief look at exactly what Louis did to piss Charlie off that much. Set at some unspecified point in the RP timeline (which is a few year post-canon), but before Charlie & Socket started seeing each other. All characters depicted in sexual situations are over the age of consent within the UK.

“This is a pretty nice place you've got here.”

Louis was visibly impressed as he stared around Charlie's living room. These North Ely houses were a good deal fancier than the ones you got around the market. Anyone who lived here had to be comfortably well-off, not that this was news when it came to Charlie.

“Yes, well, what did you expect?” Charlie sharply retorted, proving that he knew as much about his cushy life as everyone else did. He was presently pulling the curtains shut, after giving a cautious look around the streets outside; “My parents aren't due back tonight. But all the same, I'd rather we be careful.”

“Hey, if you want careful then you're asking the wrong Black Raven,” laughed Louis.

Now that it had been a few years since what Misthallery collectively referred to as the Spectre Incident, the secret behind the Black Raven was also less of a one. Most of the adults still didn't know who they were specifically, even if they probably knew of the black market auctions (the Black Raven in the tourist brochure, for crying out loud!), but many of the teenagers outside the group were now perfectly aware of what the market kids got up to. With Charlie being no exception.

“As long as you don't... talk about this,” Charlie muttered, once he was satisfied that the neighbours weren't spying in through the window with a telescope, “I don't want everyone in town to know. Not yet anyway.”

“My lips are sealed when it comes to things that matter,” vowed Louis. He held his hand across his heart to demonstrate.

“You'll forgive me for being sceptical, but everyone our age knows about your apparent skills at... at, um, wooing the ladies...” Charlie objected, visibly embarrassed at having to use such a term, “I know that you're not the quiet type.”

“Maybe so, but I never name any names, do I?” Louis pointed out, “Like, even if I did start boasting about adding a lad to the list of people I've lip-locked, I deffo wouldn't name you. That wouldn't do either of our reputations much good.”

“No, it wouldn't,” agreed Charlie. He then moved to sit on one of the chairs in the centre of the room, swinging one leg over the other and staring down his nose at Louis in a most business-like fashion; “...So let's not waste any time here, shall we. I suspect, with great certainty, that I am attracted to men. You are a romantic fool who would like to expand your... area of expertise into other fields. One night together would be beneficial to the both of us. Then we'd strictly never speak of this again, got it?”

Louis spent a few moments staring at Charlie as if he was unreal. He looked right now like how Louis imagined those American executives on radio dramas to be, except shorter and with fluffier hair. He was so angry and tense. This wasn't going to do at all.

“Yeah, I'm all in agreement with what we're up to. I came to your house, didn't I?” Louis reminded, “But my particular charms don't work if you're all hunched up at the other end of the room.”

He made his way over to the chair, swinging his hips in a fashion that did nothing but make Charlie frown further. When he got there, Louis placed his hands on both of the chair's arms, looming over Charlie.

“Is this you trying to seduce me?” checked Charlie.

“Oh, come on! If we've gonna do this then you've gotta meet me half way, Charlie-boy!” Louis wailed, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

Charlie shook his head; “I'm beginning to have second-thoughts.”

“All right then, I'll just leave and you can instead experiment with all the other gay boys in Misthallery. I'm sure there's tons of 'em! You can always try asking Roddy or Tony or maybe even Crow,” Louis ranted. As he spoke he headed back out into the hallway to fetch his jacket.

However, before he made it to the door, Charlie had caught up with him.

“You're right, I do suspect I might be... well, if not the only gay in Misthallery then any others would be outside of my interests,” he confessed. After everything that had happened in the past, Crow wasn't even on Charlie's radar.

“So I'm your type?” questioned Louis, his grin returning.

“Don't push your luck. But for tonight I will pretend that you are.”

“Coming from you that sounds like a compliment.”

“You're reading between lines that aren't there. Now come back through to the living room and we'll start again,” Charlie instructed.

“In a minute. I just remembered that I've got something that could help with our romantic evening,” hummed Louis.

He fished through the middle pocket of his jacket and pulled out a very battered looking plastic carrier bag. It seemed to have something inside, but Charlie couldn't tell what and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer enough to ask. Louis, however, seemed satisfied with his find and nodded approvingly at the bag.

“Hurry up!” pressed Charlie, his patience wearing thin.

“You can't rush perfection,” Louis insisted, “Though on that note, I think we'd be better off heading upstairs than through to the living room. Believe me when I say that doing it on a chair isn't the most pleasant way to spend your first time. A good bed is where it's at.”

“In my room... where my sheets could get... stained?” gaped Charlie.

“Yeah, you're right. We should deffo mess up your parents' couch instead,” Louis agreed.

“On second thought, the bedroom will be fine. Right this way,” corrected Charlie.

He led Louis up the stairs and through to his room in a sort of huffy reluctance. It was clear that Charlie would never make a good butler, not that he'd ever have to. And once they reached the room, Louis again had to confess that it was almost exactly how he'd imagined it – everything perfectly pristine and in place, with plush decorations that lent themselves to Charlie's particular aesthetic. The only part Louis hadn't been expecting were the bookshelves full of what appeared to be comics and annuals, though these were also arranged in a very orderly fashion.

“Fancy digs,” Louis whistled, as he took it all in.

“You shouldn't expect anything less from me. Now stop admiring the room and start admiring me,” scolded Charlie.

“Yeah, 'cause your strict attitude is getting me in the mood for sure,” snorted Louis, “Although actually, yeah, we could go for a dominatrix theme, couldn't we? I bet that's right up your street! Bossing people around and making them your slaves.”

“How dare you! I'm sure I will only enjoy the most innocent of... unsavoury activities,” tutted Charlie.

“Believe me lad, there's nothing innocent in that department,” Louis assured.

He headed over to Charlie's bed and placed the carrier bag on the end-table next to it, before jumping on it. The springs hardly made any noise at all. This was easily the newest bed that Louis had jumped on.

“Are you quite finished?” asked Charlie.

“Nah, come join me!”

With that, he grabbed Charlie's arm and pulled him onto the bed, hugging him tightly from behind. Charlie protested a little at first, batting at Louis's hands, but then he just sighed and half rolled over to get a better look at him.

“We're not here for a snuggle and a sleepover,” he pointed out.

“Gotta have a bit of cuddling to get us in the mood. Isn't this proper nice?” Louis said, his eyes closed and a content expression across his features.

With that, he felt the tension relax from Charlie's frame as he settled into what they were doing. Charlie pressed back against Louis ever so slightly, enough so that Louis could smell the shampoo in his hair. It was all sweet, like candy floss, which was very fitting for Charlie. That boy was all about appearance and, in that department, Louis couldn't fault him. He did a good job of looking good.

After a few moments of this, Charlie awkwardly asked, “Should I... um, kiss you?”

“You can if you want,” replied Louis, with complete indifference.

“A-all right, I believe that I will. Only this will be... well, the first time that I've kissed anyone who isn't m-my parents or my Gran,” he confessed.

Louis's eyes snapped open and he regarded Charlie critically.

“You mean you've never so much as snogged a guy and you're wanting us to do the deed tonight?” he checked.

“Do be serious – you said so yourself that Misthallery isn't exactly swimming in men of my persuasion,” Charlie reminded.

“And here I thought that you and Finch swapped saliva on a regular basis,” joked Louis.

“I'm this close to throwing you out!” Charlie warned.

“Okay, okay, we can have a nice little smooch to get us started.”

With that, he puckered his lips and started making off-putting sucking noises. Naturally, Charlie was repulsed and it took him a second to compose himself enough to daintily place his own lips against Louis's, having returned to being as tense as he was before. Louis then lifted a hand up to stroke through Charlie's hair. It was soft to the touch and slightly springy, but in a much nicer way that Louis's own matted mop was. He was a little worried that he was maybe going too far, but to the contrary it seemed that Charlie quickly became interested. After some hesitation, he pushed Louis back against the headboard, licking longingly at his lips. Of course Louis opened his mouth to let Charlie's tongue inside – he didn't want to be rude. And by the time they pulled away, Louis was already getting excited enough to maybe reconsider his stance on being exclusively a ladies man.

“Fukkin' hell, Curly...” he gasped.

“Shh, don't ruin the moment,” Charlie soothed, lifting up a hand to silence Louis, “If I don't think about it then I can almost pretend you're someone attractive.”

“That's rich, coming from the person who just snogged my face off!” Louis scoffed.

“No, that wasn't snogging or anything near that vulgar,” informed Charlie, “That was merely me trying to... create the mood.”

“You did a good job then, I'm already half-hard,” Louis chuckled.

“Do be serious!” Charlie snorted.

“I am serious.”

To prove his point, Louis bucked up against Charlie, who conveniently had him straddled. He then watched as Charlie's face went as red as could be. But regardless of how embarrassed he was he didn't move from his position.

“W-well then... I do think we're ready to get started...” he mumbled.

“Nu-uh, not even close,” Louis argued, “You think it's just a case of whipping off our pants and poking it in places? Especially since this is your first time, innit? We need to be proper ready.”

Charlie sighed and sat up straight, folding his arms impatiently. He was awkwardly sat pressing down on Louis's... little problem and Louis more than suspected he was doing that on purpose.

“Hurry up then!” Charlie insisted.

“What do you expect me to do while you've got me pinned? At least go into my bag if you're not gonna let me up,” Louis said, “I've got some lube in there.”

“Ah... I guess we will need that,” agreed Charlie, once again embarrassed.

With that he moved to fetch the shopping bag, rummaging through it for the tube. However, what he grabbed hold of wasn't anything of the sort. Louis watched with some amusement as Charlie dropped something onto the bed with a metallic clang and recoiled in horror.

“What on earth are those!” he demanded.

“Handcuffs, what do they look like?” Louis replied, without skipping a beat, “I even picked out some that have a fluffy pink trim to go with your sense of style. Aren't I considerate?”

“Did you... really think for a second that we'd be using these?” quizzed Charlie, still staring at them as if they were poisonous.

“Nah, I didn't know for sure, like. But you've gotta keep your options open with stuff like that,” Louis honestly answered.

After taking a moment to consider, Charlie concluded, “Maybe... once we've gotten more into it. Not to start off with, but if you misbehave I could tie you down with them.”

“Ooh, I like that,” purred Louis.

“I had a feeling you might. But for now, let's get back to the matter at hand,” Charlie insisted. He ignored some of the other unsavoury items in the bag as he rummaged through for the lube, eventually pulling it out with a firm nod; “So you're going to... put this on for me?”

“I'll need you to take your pants off first,” Louis pointed out.

“I know that much, I'm not an idiot,” snapped Charlie.

With that, he balanced on his knees and made a show of taking them off. Even though he was clumsy about it, Charlie still managed to uphold a weird sort of elegance that was hypnotic to look at. Part of Louis felt that, should this go well, he wouldn't mind seeing more of Charlie. He reached forward to stroke down the smooth skin on his thighs, which made Charlie shudder and whimper in need.

“You... you sure you wanna do this?” Louis checked.

Charlie pressed forward and kissed Louis, rougher this time. He reached down to give the package in Louis's pants a squeeze, making Louis whimper loudly.

“...I'm certain,” Charlie whispered, as the two of them pulled apart.

“Then let's get started with the... the... door?”

Louis hadn't meant to say that, but neither of them could ignore the sudden noise from downstairs as the front door was loudly pulled open. Both of their eyes grew wide and they stared out into the hallway in horror.

“Charlie! Where are you, son? Come and help your mother with her bags!” boomed a voice that Louis could only assume belonged to Charlie's dad.

“I'll be there in a minute, Father!” cried Charlie.

“What do you mean you'll be there in a minute?” Louis hissed.

Charlie's gaze shifted suddenly from the door back onto Louis, as if he was seeing him for the first time; “You need to leave. Now.”

“Do you want me to just waltz down there and say good evening to your folks on my way out?” Louis asked.

“Of course not! There's a gutter outside my window, you can climb down that,” Charlie replied. He was already pulling his pants back on as he spoke.

“Who do you think I am, Badger? If I grab onto that drain it'll come clean off the wall,” Louis wailed.

“Who are you talking to up there?” shouted Charlie's dad, making them both jump.

“No one, it's just the radio, Father!” assured Charlie. Then he returned his glare to Louis; “...That's your problem. Now get out!”

He picked up the carrier bag from where it had been discarded on the bed and thrust it into Louis's chest. At this point Louis realised that there was no going back and between the two options, falling flat on the pavement somehow sounded preferable to dealing with the wrath of Charlie's dad.

Without looking back, Louis swiftly climbed off the bed and headed over to Charlie's window. Unfortunately it looked out upon the street, but it seemed that both of Charlie's parents had now disappeared into the house with all their bags. If he was quick about it, hopefully he could get out without them noticing him. So he pulled it open and wriggled his way out into the open air. The foggy Misthallery evenings had never seemed chillier than they did right now. Before he could grab hold of the drainpipe, a thought hit him and he stared back at Charlie.

“Wait, what about my handcuffs?”

They were still sat on the bed where Charlie had left them, glinting over at him as if they were waving goodbye.

“Those are mine now. Just leave!” Charlie pressed.

“And my jacket?”

“I'll dump it on the roadside once everything settles down, presuming my parents don't notice and ask questions. If they do then I'm afraid I'll also have to take that as my own,” Charlie hurriedly stated.

“You're a cruel master, but all right then...” sighed Louis.

With that, he grabbed hold of the drainpipe and disappeared out of sight from the window. Just like he suspected, the pipe didn't hold his weight very well and threatened to come detached from the wall. Thankfully Louis could tell that it would support his weight until he reached the ground, but it wouldn't be without some serious damage to the Gibson family's drainage. Although after all that he'd been through, Louis felt that this was the least payment they owed him.

As he thumped down onto the cobblestones, Louis could hear the faint voice of Charlie's mother carry out through the still open door.

“Whose is this coat, Charles? Did you have a friend stay over?”

“No, Mother. Gran sent it as a present. It isn't my style, but I wouldn't want to offend her by telling her so.” This was the traitorously innocent reply Charlie gave her.

Oh well, Louis would have to give up that jacket for lost. It wasn't as if it was his favourite anyway, just a slightly nicer one that he'd worn this evening in hopes to impress Charlie. Apparently it wasn't his type, like Louis himself. But maybe that was for the best.

As Louis turned to saunter down the street towards the rope bridges, he concluded that there were probably worse ways he could have spent his evening. And if anyone asked at least he could now say that he's been with a guy, even if that wasn't entirely true. It wasn't as if Charlie would be butting in to clarify the details any time soon.

***

“I thought you were going to leave me perched high and dry, just like Sean did. Can you believe he ditched us to go see the Bardes again? Not coo', man,” whistled Finch, as Charlie came to join him in front of the library the next day.

“Hmm? Oh. Yes. Sean is lame,” agreed Charlie, who wasn't even pretending to pay attention to the conversation.

“His loss though. He'll be the one chirping protests when we don't let him roost with us any more,” Finch continued. Then he paused to look at Charlie properly; “...Is that a new jacket? I don't think I've seen you wear it before.”

Charlie took a moment to self-consciously tug the jacket closer to himself. It was a bit big for him and looked very baggy, not the style Charlie usually liked to go with. It also smelt a quite musky, like it had been the victim of far too much cheap cologne. But something about it was... nice. Not that he'd ever admit that.

“What, this old thing? It's nothing special. I'm wearing it once, but I don't think I will again. It's really not for me.”

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"That's a shame, I reckon Crow would enjoy a good lashing."

(Even as he says it, Louis can't stop himself from laughing. He quickly tries to compose himself, because he knows that Badger won't want to carry on if he doesn't think Louis is taking him seriously. Yet at the same time even he can't imagine Crow being into that. Underneath his tough-guy act, Louis has suspicion that Crow is a big softie.)

"...Yeah, but that is a bit of a problem if you can't bring any of this up to him. Like I said before, it's all about building confidence. But even then, it sounds like you two have gotten comfortable enough with doing it in general, eh? You could easily just go about this as you normally would, but then in the heat of the moment bring out the handcuffs. Crow will be so worked up by then, I bet he'll be gagging to try some kinky Badger."

(The handcuffs finally get lowered down to the table. Louis then looks at Badger seriously.)

"As for my story, well, I'll only tell you that if you promise to at least try to start loving yourself as much as Crowlo must love you."

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(Louis chuckles when Badger asks him about Scraps.)

"Of course he finds stuff like this! He might not be interested in it, but that doesn't mean that people don't throw it out all the same. And it's lucky for me that he isn't interested, because he lets me have a lot of it for free. Can you imagine that? Posh knobs in London paying good money in fancy shops for a whip like this - all right maybe not exactly like this - and here I am getting them thrown at me."

(He pauses for long enough to take in just how much Badger is burning with embarrassment right now. Which doesn't come as too much of a surprise, Louis kind of expected him to be surprised by this. But if he wants the Louis advice for bringing the sparkle back then that's what he's going to get.)

"But all right, I'll reel it back in for you. I deffo do use all of this stuff, all the time in fact. And I got very close to using it on that lad I mentioned, but he kind of wasn't interested in my tools of the trade. Bit of a shame. I can tell you all about it if you want, but that would be getting off on one. If you've come here to learn from me then you don't wanna hear me wax lyrical about my failed attempts to seduce a man, eh?"

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(Louis beams with pride as his collection falls onto the table. Which lasts up until Badger sprays him with cider, then he's yelping and wiping his face off. He whips his glasses off to give them a quick rub, frowning across at his friend. In the commotion he almost misses what Badger says next, but once he works it out then his usual confident grin returns.)

"You can do a lotta things with that, Badger. There's a whole new world on that table."

(With that he puts his glasses back on and crouches next to the table, staring across at everything upon it fondly.)

"Now, what specifically to you wanna know about. These two here, reckon you don't need an explanation for them, like. And don't worry, they're new. These aren't the sort of tools you can just share with your friend. My whip over there... eh, that's seen better days. It's a trusty old thing for me, but you'd probably be better off getting yourself a new one. Ask Scraps, people toss these out all the time. The spoon might seem like a bit of an odd one, but some people like weird shit with food. I doubt you would, but maybe Crow's into that sorta thing. I've found it's always handy to have a spoon around, just in case. And as for the handcuff, well these are what I think's gonna help you the most, my lad."

(He picks them up and holds them, dangling between the two of them.)

"...This is gonna kickstart everything you want to try with Crow. I promise you that much."

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(Louis waggles his eyebrows in a way that he believes looks impressive, but actually just looks like he's trying to use his glasses to itch his forehead.)

"Ah, well maybe I do have a magic wand up there."

(With that he turns and makes his way out of the room. There's some heavy thumps as he heads up the stairs, then what sounds like a few things being tossed around in his room. After a few minutes of muffled noises, as Louis hunts through his room, he returns triumphantly to Badger, swinging a Safeways carrier bag as if it's food he’s found to feed his whole family.)

"This, Badger my lad, is gonna save the spice in your relationship with your fair Crowlo."

(He dumps the contents on the bag out on the table. From it tumble two dildos, a pair of fluffy handcuffs, several condoms, a spoon and something that looks like it might be a whip that's seen better days.)

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(It doesn't take long for Badger to get himself worked up over such a radical suggestion. If not for the fact it'd make him flail even worse, Louis would be chuckling at him right now. But instead he opts for giving him some more serious advice.

...Or at least, as serious as it gets when coming from Louis.)

"All right, so it deffo doesn't come as easy to some as it does to overs to be all confident, like. Though it will help if you can work on it. Think of it this way - in actuality, I'm kind of gross and not all that pretty. But because I act like I'm all that, people will believe that I am. Or at least believe that I'm not someone they can walk all over. How you present yourself is important. Even though Crow isn't the type to think you're shit, if you act like a victim then he's always going to feel sorry for you. It's not gonna happen over night, but you both need to realise that he isn't God and you're not just there to bask in his glory."

(A sigh. He's gone off on a tangent and needs to reel it back in. But first, another swig from the bottle.)

"But getting back on track, there are some ways you can cheat around a lack of confidence while you're building it up and still be sexy. I'll let you lend some of my stuff to help you. It's up in my room, so give me a sec."

(With that, Louis pulls himself up out of the chair. It does take him a moment to steady himself after the drink, but he passes it off well, as always.)

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(Badger's going to be completely off his face in no time if he keeps this up, which Louis makes sure to be aware of as they carry on. But as much as he isn't sure if all of this is entirely true or merely Badger exaggerating, it is all very juicy. He can't help but smile with wicked delight as Badger reels off the list of everything he's tried with Crow.)

"By heck, you have done it all, like. And back before you two started dating I was over here wondering if I needed to give you both the talk, since neither of you had seemed all that interested before."

(But regardless of everything else Badger says, Louis can tell he's not bigging up the part at the end. He seems genuinely worried that all he's doing isn't working for Crow. So Louis takes another drink and puts on his serious cap before he replies.)

"Okay, so Crow might not be my type, but there's no denying that the little weed knows he's attractive. Oh yeah, he might act like he don't, but underneath it all Crow knows that he's got the looks that make people fall head over heels for him. Why do you think he went into doing the auctions? But anyway, I'm telling you this because you know that Crow's hot and Crow knows that Crow's hot. Crow also knows that you're hot, I'd hope, but you don't know that yourself. The reason you get all worked up over that boy is because you're so glad that someone like him is paying attention to you, innit? And I'm sure he's glad you're paying attention to him as well. But there you are acting all as if you're the one lucky he's spending his time on you. When in fact, you need to make him work for your attention and work fukkin' hard, right?"

(A pause for effect.)

"...Any questions before we move onto the next bit?"

Keep reading

[scouseraven-blog]

(It seems to Louis as if Badger has something to prove today. He certainly appears to be a lot less hesitant about the drink and the brownies than he would have been when they first met. Hoping that it'll steady his friend's nerves if he joins him, Louis pops the cap off one of the bottles and takes a swig. He then wipes his mouth and nods thoughtfully as Badger reveals his true motive for coming here today.)

"Ah, so it is love advice."

(He places the bottle back down on the table, smirking across at the very serious frown Badger's currently giving him.)

"I'm not gonna pretend that I'm a proper expert with men. As you know, when it comes to the ladies I have them lining up around the corner to get a go with lip-locking the Lozza, but I've only actually been with one bloke before. Heh, though ‘bloke’ might be stretching the word."

(There's a moment in which Louis smiles to himself, as if he's enjoying some private joke.)

"But anyway, back on topic. There's deffo loads of advice I can give you that works across the board. But since I should know where you're starting off from, and also because I'm a nosy git, would you mind telling me how far you've gone with our fair Crowlo so far? Are we talking hand-jobs, blow-jobs or full on?"

(Badger ignores his friend, instead starting on the next bottle. Louis clearly isn’t serious though, because he gets up and heads out of the room, returning a second later with more bottles and some dubious looking baked treats. Badger lowers the bottle from his mouth, already a little flushed, before raising an eyebrow at the scouser.)

“Steadeh on? I ain’t the one presentin’ yer with ‘alf the medicine cabinet.”

(He does take one though, usually Louis smokes it, and it’s hugely gross, this is a bit more manageable, and he doesn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Louis or anything… Weed aside, Badger isn’t terribly fond of sweet things, but chocolate is okay. 

He just as sheepishly as Louis asks him again, clearly not willing to let up. He might as well cut to the chase, and he already does feel a bit braver from the bubbly cider (and probably soon from other things too.))

“F-fine. Look. Y-you ‘ow you’ve been with loads of people? N’sometimes Socket n’I say we ‘ave too, but y’know we actualleh ‘aven’t been? W-well. Might as well confirm that lie o-okay…?”

(Badger pouts and crosses his long legs, giving Louis a slightly scrutinizing look.)

“N’I know gay stuff n’doin’ stuff with ladies is different… b-but surely there’s like… like universal methods yeah…?”

[scouseraven-blog]

(Of course Badger comes over all flustered when Louis brings up him and Crow. Honestly, now that it's out in the open Louis has no idea how he didn't figure it out sooner. Badger's always been so smitten with Crow, right from the start.

He does raise an eyebrow when Badger proceeds to gulp down the first bottle, however.)

"Steady on there! You've got nuthing to prove, like."

(All the same, now that his reputation has been put on the line, Louis can't help himself but get up and head through to the kitchen. He yanks open the fridge door and takes out a couple of bottles. They belong to his parents, but Louis tells himself that he'll replace them before they get back. As well as the bottles, he also grabs a plate of brownie out and brings the whole lot back through in an impressive balancing act. Or it would have been impressive if he didn't almost drop it all on the coffee table.

He saves the bottles, then gives Badger a sheepish grin, passing one over.)

"So go on then, why are you here? I know it's been a while since we've properly had a chat, but from how eager you were to talk I get the impression that there's more on your mind than just catching up. Need some advice from Misthallery's finest master of romance?"

(Badger scoffs and kicks his red shoes off, tumbling back into position on the sofa next to Louis, happily leaning against him as he pops the top off the first of the bottles.)

“I could think of a few things yer gob needs, and it ain’t this stuff.”

(He takes a swig before looking up at Louis as he speaks, but what he says then does take Badger off guard. He sits up and blushes, suddenly feeling very flustered as he remembers that day. As comfortable as he is lying around with Louis, he’d really rather he hadn’t seen him… like that that day.)

“H-hey… I… I ‘ain’t even pissed yet…! G-gimme a chance…!”

(On the other hand, it’s kind of reassuring hearing Louis tease him about it, he clearly doesn’t have an issue with Badger being gay… with their boss. And part of the reason he wanted to talk privately with Louis is because of… those things, but he does need to be a bit more buzzed before he can get into it proper. He determinedly gulps down the first bottle and hiccups.)

“Y-you ain’t got nothin’ stronger than this?”