screamingavacados

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whoever says men don’t gossip are dead fucking wrong I just went on a run with my dad and one of his friends (yay for break I have time to do laundry) and if I wasn’t there how else would I know the place that launches the friends boat has been getting sucky lately, the friends new workers have unwarranted arrogance, and that an entire city declared bankruptcy cause new administration went back on an agreement of previous administration and tried to screw over a developer causing them to be sued for twenty five million, a suit they lost and had twenty million in assets seized, and are now operating off a five million budget for the foreseeable future

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This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. We’ve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own… save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.

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pansexual? yeah I’m pretty fucking sexual.

…

what the duck were we talking about again?

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:] ehehheheheh he’s beautiful

Shout out to our SOTM protagonist Arnold!

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saving money by drawing starfire in all the clothes i want instead

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HOUSE S3E13

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house in 2024

House installs 24/7 tracking apps on Wilson's phone. In return, Wilson books Ubers to take his phone and drive to various nefarious locations, sit there for half an hour, then come back home

Similarly, Wilson gets a smartwatch that monitors his heart rate. House gets updates sent to his phone and calls Wilson whenever his heart rate increases by more than 20 bpm to try and interrupt him jerking off

Kutner writes fanfic and replies to almost every comment he gets. His author's notes are full of things like "sorry this chapter is late, I accidentally gave myself a concussion trying to save a patient's life"

House posts on the Am I The Asshole subreddit but gets annoyed at everything thinking he's the asshole so he immediately deletes his account and pretends it never existed

Cuddy spends an hour of her day responding to the hospital's negative google reviews about "that rude doctor with the cane"

A young patient of Wilson's convinces him to be in a TikTok they're making, and he doesn't really know what that is but he agrees and ends up going semi-viral

Chase is secretly seething with jealousy over Wilson's accidental TikTok success, because Chase has been making thirst-trap videos in his scrubs for months with barely any views (it's because he's trying way too hard)

Thirteen gets really into Drag Race and the local drag scene and accidentally introduces House to gay slang, which he instantly adopts

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House and Wilson swap clothes at work as part of a bet (to prove they do/don't get treated differently bc of what they're wearing perhaps) but then House sees Wilson in his stained slightly-too-tight-on-him tshirt and ragged jeans and Wilson sees House in his slightly-too-wide-in-the-shoulders button-up and lab coat and tie and then they both need to go lie down for several hours

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I really didn't paint much before watching this show what did they do to me

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the joy of realizing someone is a similar type of freak as you

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I can’t believe hatecrimes MD is real

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I live for those pics of cats that got onto sports fields on live tv

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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though while we're on the topic of League of Assassins training...if I was Ra's al Ghul and I took a chance on a skinny, spoiled kid from Gotham and he turned out to be one of the best martial artists of all time and went on to create the actual Justice League, I would also have a massive ego about that + you'd never hear the end of it

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Donna: Wow your brother really takes after you (derogatory)

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incorrect a real sigma always packs a well balanced lunch

Sigma male tip: don't even do anything at all