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screamingintotheneverendingvoid · 15 days ago

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How To Say Goodbye

John Carter x reader (Sunny)

Summary: You promised to be by John’s side through the good and the bad; and losing his grandfather is one of the worst days.

Warnings: Death of a loved one, use of Sunny instead of y/n, few uses of the term girlfriend, John’s parents are dicks, a little sad obviously, but also I managed to make it sappy and sweet because I’m me and I want John Carter to have someone to love

A/N: I watched season 8 episode 1 and got inspired, so here is this. I’ve only seen John’s parents once so that characterization might be totally off base, but I tried. I wrote this at 2:30am in my sleep deprived state, so mistakes probably happened. I also took Abby out of some scenes and put reader in, so I’m sorry Abby, my girl, it had to be done. Also the first half of this wasn’t originally apart of it but then I decided I was going to write it, so if it feels a little disjointed, that’s probably why. Anyway, enjoy!

—

You had been awake for only about fifteen minutes, but you hadn’t moved an inch yet.

Why? For the fear of waking the man who had one arm over your waist as his head was nestled snuggly on your chest.

He truly was a vision, the most beautiful angel that heaven could produce and you were lucky enough to call him yours.

And while part of you did selfishly want to stay like this for the rest of the day, you were mostly just relieved he was sleeping soundly.

Ever since finding out about his grandfather a few days prior, he hadn’t been doing too well. Sure, he held it together in front of everyone, he was John, he was good at that. What everyone else didn’t see was when you two got back home and he broke down in tears as the fact that he had lost his grandfather really, finally hit him.

You held him tight and ran your fingers through his hair, comforting him with your actions when words failed.

He still didn’t sleep well that night or the next.

He had finally slept well last night, after you say curled up together as he told you funny stories from his childhood that involved his grandfather.

The bittersweet joy of it seemed to lift just the tiniest bit of weight off his shoulders.

But today was the funeral.

So, you couldn’t let him sleep in like you so desperately longed to.

You brought one hand to rest over his arm that was slung around your waist and the other to his hair, gently starting to rake your fingers through it.

He started to shift around, a small hum coming from him. “Just five more minutes…”

Laughter bubbled up from your chest at how truly boyish he sounded, and even looked as he turned his head towards you.

His brown eyes full of the sleep he still hadn’t quite caught up on.

“You know we have to get ready and be there early.” You whispered, as if it were quiet enough, maybe you wouldn’t break the stillness of the morning around you.

“I know, I know. I just want to avoid the inevitable.” He moved to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, maybe he could hide right here forever.

“I know you do, baby, but I’ll be there every step of the way.” You placed a soft kiss on the top of his head and felt his sweet smile against your skin.

“What would I do without you?” He mumbled against your neck.

“Well, your life would definitely be a lot less exciting.” That said quip earned a chuckle from him.

You snaked your hand down to his shoulder and let your nails rake over the skin there, “You go get a shower and start getting ready, I’ll make coffee and some breakfast, if you’re hungry?”

He hummed again, the sensation against your skin causing you to giggle, “Yeah, I think I could eat a little something. Pancakes kind of sound nice…” he trailed off, finally lifted his face from your neck and looking at you, flashing you a sweet, gentle smile.

“Pancakes I can do, but you will have to let go of me.”

He made an exaggerated groan and rolled himself over to his pillow, “And here I was hoping I could keep you to myself today.”

“There’s always tomorrow.” You leaned over to peck his lips before you got up from the bed, strolling towards the door.

“Oh, I’m counting on it.”

—

The sweet reprise of the morning quickly gave way into a melancholy afternoon. On top of the grief and pain you were feeling for John, the sirens in your head haven’t had a second to rest because on top of this being a funeral, it was a funeral that also served as the first meeting of John’s parents. 8 years of knowing each other and most of those spent dating, and you hadn’t met them.

They tended to stay busy, and John was less than enthusiastic at the thought of having to take you half way across the world just to meet them, so you just left it be. You knew their relationship was far from perfect, so you can’t say you were super excited at the prospect of meeting them.

When you got to the church for the service, it didn’t take you long to identify them. They stood in front of John’s grandmother, and they had a certain air about them.

Though it was a bumpy road at first, John’s Gamma and Grandpa had accepted you, they had even come to love you. They saw how much you loved John and how much he loved you. The way you two took care of each other even on the bad days.

You felt the fears of being thought of as a gold digger, or someone just in for the name, boil up in your throat. Thoughts that hadn’t made you nervous since you had met John’s grandparents.

John had his arm around your waist and you had yours around him as the two of you walked up to everyone else.

“Hey mom, dad.” John gave them both curt nods before letting go of you to embrace his Gamma.

You immediately felt his mom’s icy blue eyes sizing you up, his dad seemed more content to focus on John and Gamma.

“John.” His father said, giving his son a small pat to his back when John moved away from Gamma, and he now stood between the two of you.

“Mom, dad, this is my girlfriend, Sunny. Sunny this is my mom and dad.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Carter.”

You said it with a reluctant smile, but with all your confidence. You had this. You helped deliver babies and comforted people in their final moments for a living, this should be a walk in the park.

“You too.” “Mhm.” The husband and wife gave quick, less than enthusiastic replies, turning their attention back to John and his grandmother.

“Sunny is wonderful. Our John is lucky to have found them.” Gamma praised you, and you took that moment to step over to her and give her a hug of your own.

“Thank you, but I’m the lucky one. John’s the best man I’ve ever met.” You spoke as you pulled back from the hug, and Gamma gave you a kiss on the cheek.

You then stepped back to John’s side realizing his parents both watched you now.

John took your hand, and brought it up to his lips for a quick kiss.

“I think we’re both very lucky to have each other.”

“I’m sure. We need to get into place to greet people, are you guys ready?” His mother more or less blew John off. It truly took everything you not to show your true emotions on your face, but you just kept a small, simple smile on your face.

“Yes, Eleanor, I suppose we are. This day isn’t going to get any easier.” Gamma took the arm John had offered her and started to move towards the designated area.

You tapped on John’s shoulder, “Maybe I should stay back while you do this.”

Before John could answer you, Gamma did as she had clearly heard your words, “Nonsense, you’re family too and I think John and I will both feel better with you up here.”

Your heart melted at her words and you just offered her a faint smile, catching John’s eyes as he was looking at you. His sweet smile being a nice reassurance.

—

The service had been beautiful, as had been the graveside service. It was filled to the brim with people (and flowers). John’s grandfather had clearly touched many peoples lives, and that was beautiful thing to see.

You stayed by John, and his grandmothers, side the entire time. Thankfully so much was happening you hadn’t had the time to have another awkward conversation with his parents.

As the group of you started walking away, Gamma with John’s dad, and John and you with his mother, Gamma stopped and grabbed your arm before the two groups went their separate ways,

“Sunny, dear, would you ride with us? Your company would be good for my heart right now.”

“Of course. Are you fine with that, John?” You turned back towards your boyfriend and without words exchanged you could tell being alone with his mom wasn’t quite what he wanted but he could never deny his grandmother, especially on this day.

“Yeah, we’ll see you guys there. We should be right behind each other.” John spoke and walked over to you, pressing a firm kiss against the top of your head before he moved over and did the same to his grandma.

“Be careful, please.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, John, we’ll be back at the house quick.” His father finally spoke up, seeing a bit exasperated, but you all just chose to ignore that.

You finally all went your separate ways, you walked arm in arm with Gamma to the car, then her son helped her in the car before you both got in.

To say the ride was a bit awkward would be an understatement, but mostly you and Gamma just softly talked among yourselves. John’s dad didn’t seem to care much to add anything, though he would every now and then.

You weren’t sure if you hoped he was like this with everyone or if it was just you.

The car ride went by quickly and the three of you filed out of the car, Gamma took your arm in her own, “I want to go rest for a bit before more people get here. Can you walk me to my room?”

“Mom, are you sure you don’t want to be out here to greet the guest.” He stopped at the open front door, the butler who opened it just waiting patiently for them to decide what to do.

“No, Jack. Not at this moment, that’s why you’re here. People will be thrilled to be greeted by you.” You and her walked into the open door, and she gave his arm a soft pat as she walked by him.

Her son watched until the two of you were out of sight.

You let her lead the way to her room, because in all honesty you weren’t sure where it was. This place was enormous and even though you had been here on multiple occasions you weren’t sure you could ever fully have its passages down.

Once at the door, she pushed it open, and let go of your arm, walking over to the bed and sitting on it, a relieved sigh escaping her.

“The silence is nice. It’s very nice to have all these people but so very tiring.”

“Yeah, if anyone deserves a moment of rest today, it’s you.” You stayed close to the door, taking in the decadent and stunning room, you shouldn’t be surprised with how the rest of the house but it still did.

“You go on, dear. Find John. I’m fine, I’ll make an appearance in a little bit.” Gamma didn’t even lift up her head to say anything, too comfortable on her spot in the bed.

“Yes, ma’am. Let me know if I can do anything else.”

She waved you off and so you left, closing the door as gently as you could.

—

You walked back towards the main room, leaving John’s grandmother alone to have a moment of peace. Your eyes caught John and his mother walk in, and you moved right towards them.

John had turned his back, and it looked like his mother was adjusting his tie, maybe? Or his collar. You weren’t really sure.

You walked up to them, letting your hand rest on John’s back trying not to alarm him with your presence. He immediately turned his head, smiling when he saw it was you.

“Hey sweetheart, how was the ride okay?”

He leaned down to kiss your forehead.

It’s the first time you’ve seen John since the cemetery, having rode back with his grandmother at her request. You think it was mostly so she wouldn’t have to be in the car alone with her son.

You were starting to understand why, this was your first time meeting John’s parents. A wild statement considering you’d known each other for 8 years and had been dating for a good chunk of that time, but John had explained to you the strained nature of their relationship and if you were honest, your kind of glad you had avoided the meeting for so long.

John was your priority. He’s your partner. He’d be through so much and you’d be damned if someone said anything to him to make him feel less than. Even his parents, so you figured not meeting them until now was for the best.

You hadn’t even said a word yet and you could feel his mother’s eyes burrowing into you. You just ignored it and looked up at him, but while opening your mouth, you were interrupted by John’s father coming up.

“Did the driver get lost?”

“John had something more pressing.” His mother said, and you tried to keep your face neutral, this was Grandpa Carter’s funeral after all.

John wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, as if he could read your mind.

“It was trouble with a patient.” John responded, and you looked at the ground with a satisfied smile. Yeah, that sounded just like your boyfriend.

“Decent turnout.” John said to turn the conversation away, as he looked around the room.

“It’ll do.” His dad said curtly.

“Where’s Gamma?” John asked when he didn’t see the person he was looking for.

You were about to speak again, because you had been the one to help her to the room.

“Lying down, said she was tired.” His dad interjected.

You looked between him and John, she said that just so you would leave her be for a moment.

You didn’t say that out loud though.

“Where are you staying?” You looked at John as he asked his father.

“The Drake.” Another short answer.

“The Ritz-Carlton was booked.” His mother tried to joke to lighten the mood, at least you think that was her attempt to do so, but you don’t think anything would lighten the mood at the moment.

“Did you think about staying here?” John asked his parents. His father just took a sip of his drink and his mother immediately looked away for a distraction, “Oh, there’s Peter Harkens. I should say hello.”

She walked away and you had to try with everything in you not to loudly sigh. John stepped up to his father’s side and you stepped a few steps back, letting them have a moment. You gave John an encouraging squeeze to his arm, and he flashed a quick thankful smile.

You just stood back and let them have their moment. Of course you could still hear everything they said.

“Who’s Peter Harkens?”

“Oh he’s handling the probate.”

With another curt answer, John looked back at you before looking back at his dad.

“I think Sunny and I are going to check on Gamma.”

“I did, she’s fine.”

John took the smallest step back, “Yeah, still…”

“John, do you want to help your grandmother?” You think that was the most that had come out of his father mouth. John stopped and looking up at his dad. “Be a good host, introduce yourself to Senator Herrero’s daughter. Arthur?”

You and John both watched his father walk off in disbelief. You want to believe he didn’t mean that in the way it felt intended.

You know your introduction had been short before the graveside service, John only telling his parents your name and that you are his partner, before everyone got pulled away because it had started.

John watched his father a moment longer before turning back to you and pulling you into his arms.

The strength that he held you with gave away some of his anger, as if he could just hug you hard enough and make it all better.

“I’m sorry about that.”

You rested your chin on his chest so you could look at him. His brown eyes swirled with anger, but mostly apologies, as if this was somehow his fault.

“You have no reason to be sorry. I’m here for you and your grandmother, so I pay no mind to what they say… or don’t say.” Honestly them ignoring you again would be better at this point you think.

You felt John relax a little bit, those brown eyes now sparkling with fondness. You’d never get tired of the way he looked at you.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your nose, and then your forehead.

“I know you’re here for us. It makes all this-“ he gestures around, “- a lot easier to deal with. I never want to do any of this stuff without you ever again.”

His words made your heart sing. “You won’t. I’ll be by your side forever…. or until you get tired of me.” You teased, causing him to roll his eyes, but a smile never left his lips as he leaned down and pecked your lips, before going back and kissing you a moment longer. He wanted to linger there, but you were in a room full of people at a funeral, so not the time.

“How about we go get a drink?”

—

You and John walked around for a while, actively avoiding his parents, he showed you some of the pictures hanging around.

You had seen most of them before but it felt different with John by your side to tell you stories behind them.

He stopped and lingered on a picture of him and his brother for a while.

“I wish I could’ve met him.”

John’s smile felt like it held all the sadness in the world, “Me too. He would’ve loved you. He definitely would’ve relentlessly teased asking how I got such a hot girlfriend. Especially with how I was as a kid, let’s just say I’m glad we met when we did and not as kids.”

You bumped your shoulder against his playfully, “I was a little dork as a kid, so I think we probably would’ve been best friends as kids.”

You grabbed his hand and pulled him, “Come on, take me somewhere outside. I need some fresh air.”

“Okay, but let’s grab drinks first.”

So you did just that, grabbed two drinks and then weaved your way through the crowd. He walked you a little ways away from everyone to where a bench was sat beside the now broken bird bath.

You already knew what had happened to it and honestly you can’t believe someone hadn’t gotten rid of it yet.

Then again there was a lot happening so the bird bath was probably the least of anyone’s worries. You would volunteer to get a new one for his grandmother but maybe she was attached to that one now. You also couldn’t afford it with your salary, but that wasn't the point.

“You think your grandmother will replace it?” You sat by John’s side, taking a sip of your champagne as your eyes stayed on the bird bath.

He snorted in a bit of amusement, “That’s a great question. I mean.. grandpa liked it, and I guess the giant missing piece has a story to tell now. Not a fun one, but definitely a story.”

“Yeah I guess having to bring up what happened every time someone ask, isn’t the most fun story to tell.” You rested your head on his shoulder.

“How are you holding up, love?” You asked him quietly, as if you were still closer to the crowd. You heard him sigh, and he gently rested his head on top of yours.

“Okay, considering everything. I don’t know what I would if you hadn’t been here through all of this, and I mean that. Thank you.” You couldn’t see his face, but his voice contained the weight of his words, and the warmed their way into your heart. You reached down to grab his free hand in your own and intertwined them together.

“You’re welcome. Even though you don’t have to thank me. I love you, being there for you feels like breathing to me.”

Before he could say anything back, and doing what his parents seemed good at doing today, his mother walked over. You two had been so in your own bubble you hadn’t even noticed her walk up.

“John, have you seen Millicent?” John lifted his head off of yours and looked up at his mother.

“No, I haven’t.”

The silence stretched on for what seemed like forever but could have only been a few second. John finally stood up quickly, you followed suit.

“You remember Sunny, right, mom? You met for just a second before the service. Sunny, you remember my mother, Eleanor Carter.”

“Hello Mrs. Carter.”

“Hi.”

So her and her husband had curt responses in common, good to know.

“Things are winding down, she needs to make an appearance.” His mother didn’t give you a second thought, and looked right at her son as she spoke.

“I will go and look for her in a minute.”

“Please do.” Was all his mother said in response before giving what felt like a force smile as she walked off.

You sighed heavily when she was far enough away, and turned back to look at John. He looked just as exasperated as you did.

John plopped back down on the bench and you sat back down beside him patting his leg.

“I’m sorry about them. My parents… just don’t handle loss well.” He grabbed your hand that had patted his leg and started messing with your hand, playing with one of the rings you had on.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had to deal with this sort of thing.”

You watched him fondly as he spoke, he looked so innocent and almost child-like as he fiddled with the jewelry on your hand.

“I assume since Bobby?” You interjected softly and he nodded.

You ran a hand gently through his hair, trying not to mess it up while you comforted him. He looked up at you for a moment before turning his head around to look at the crowd, you followed his eyes to his mother.

“You go on and find Gamma. I’m going to sit out here in the sun a while longer, you can come find me when you’re done.”

You dragged your nails to his neck, seeing the goosebumps it raised, you ran your hand over them.

“Are you sure? You can come with me, she’s always happy to see you.” He turned his head back to you.

“I’m sure. I saw her earlier and I’ll see her again later. You go take a minute with her.”

He smiled at you, even though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He leaned over to give you a quick peck to the lips before standing up.

“I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

“Okay.” You gave him a small nod as he walked off and you took another sip of your drink as you tried to take in the moment by yourself.

—

“So, how did you and John meet?”

The voice caused you to turn from your place on the bench, the last person you expected to see stand there was.

It was Eleanor Carter.

“At work.” You kept the answer simple because you know if not John, someone had to have told her before how you two met.

“I see. You’re a doctor too?”

You hoped your eye was twitching at her question, because it sure felt like it was. Again, you know she has to know the answer, this just feels like a test or an interrogation.

“No, I’m a nurse.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Are you the one with the clinic?”

“No, that was my friend Carol.”

“So you’re just doing nursing, no plans for anything else?”

You let out a small huff of air in disbelief. You truly felt for her for everything she’s been through, but it doesn’t give her the right to talk to you like that.

but, this was a funeral. So as much as you wanted to say something, anything, snippy you reframed.

You stood up, taking your now almost empty glass with you.

“Just nursing. No plans for anything else, I mean I have a doctor boyfriend, what else could I need?” It was sarcasm at its finest, and you didn’t wait for her answer as you started walking away.

“Speaking of which, I should go find him. It was nice talk to you.”

—

No matter where you looked you couldn’t find John, or his Gamma, anywhere. Finally you just gave up and went to his room in the house, letting yourself fall to the bed.

You buried your face in the comforter and let out a string of curse words.

So maybe you should’ve made a better effort with his mom, been a little nicer.

She was the one making it nearly impossible though.

You don’t know how long you laid there, at some point you kicked off your heels and let them clatter to the floor, but besides that you just laid there. Without realizing it, you drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until someone was rubbing your leg that you stirred and realized you had done so.

Through your sleepy, blurry vision you lifted your head up.

“Hey, baby. You get tired of waiting?” The voice teased, moving their hand up to your thigh. Drawing small patterns in all the places the touched.

You smiled sleepily as John came into view.

“Mhm.” You mumbled.

“Do you want to go home?”

“Why don’t we stay here for the night? Your parents aren't staying, so we could stay and keep your Gamma company tomorrow.”

John’s face lit up, the corner of his eyes crinkling,

“I love you so much, do you know that?”

You adjusted yourself in the bed to be closer to him, and turned your back towards him.

“I do, but I’m not going to stop you from telling me as much as you like.” You glanced over your shoulder at him, the sweet look he was giving you turning you to putty.

“Will you unzip my dress, I know I feel asleep in it, but I do not want to sleep in for the night.”

“Your wish is my command.” He planted a sweet kiss on the back of your neck, causing a little shiver to go through your body. You heard the small, satisfied laugh he gave at the reaction. He slowly started pulling the zipper down, taking his time until he was done.

He started gently pulling it off of you, and you let him, moving your limbs when needed.

Once he was done, he laid another kiss on your shoulder. You then climbed your way to the top of the bed and pulled up the blanket, wiggling yourself underneath.

You watched as he stripped out of his clothing down to his boxers. You admired every part of his body, he was a work of art you would never get tired of seeing.

You lifted the blanket up beside you, inviting him to crawl in next to you, and so he did.

He promptly pulled you into his side as soon as he could. You happily snuggled yourself into him, letting your head rest on his chest so you could listen to the thump of his heart.

“I love you, John Carter.” You whispered as if telling him a secret. You didn’t look up at him, but you could heart the sweetness in his voice, “I love you too.”

#er #er 1994 #dr john carter #john truman carter iii #john carter #john carter x reader #nurse!reader x john carter #john carter x nurse!reader #my writing

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