screeching20s

[screeching20s]

My coworker said he was having a bad day and I said 'it can't be that bad you haven't started howling like a sad dog yet' and he let out the saddest most pathetic little howl I've ever heard and I was like 'damn ok do you need to have a break?'

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“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”

— Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

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the reason going viral on tumblr sucks is because instead of money you get death threats over statements you've never made in your entire life

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(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

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The Pope, desperate to avoid ever interacting with JD Vance again, went to the one place the Vice President couldn't follow: heaven.

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As someone from the rural south, I actually don’t mind evil Republican Californian transplants. It’s kind of funny to witness them crash out after realizing there are no sidewalks and the nearest hospital is an hour and a half away. Maybe if enough of them vacate the state, the cost of living will go down and I can move there.

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i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

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ok but like. space shanties. 

there’s a thing that should definitely be a thing in sci-fi.

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CUTE PEOPLE LOVE LOGGING ONTO THIS SITE. cute people love reading this post. cute people love drinking water

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hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

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Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

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a watched nut never busts. or something. i dont fucking know what you people find funny anymore. 9/11.

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Not what I expected coming from John Green

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i genuinely believe i can link like every single podcast i know together with Something if i tried. all of them share an actor or a writer with each other. like they pass the same 15 or so people around like a blunt theres always Someone in there that youve heard before. Theres Always Someone And Its So Scary

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Logging onto here is like walking through a bead curtain