screwslooseboozer - Tumblr blog

[screwslooseboozer]

　" You can't trick me, motherfucker! " He's actually snickering with Alastor's infectious laughter. " You twisted bitch, I know you too fuckin' well! Hey, hey -- Jesus walks up to an innkeeper, hands him some nails and a hammer, and says, ' Can ya put me up for the night? ' HAH! "

There's a sudden silence as the static cuts out. Alastor's neck cranks just to the side as eyes narrow at their contractee. The words that come out their mouth drip with restrained fury. "...you do know we're talking about my mother's faith here, Husk. I can only tolerate-"

"-bwAHAHAHAHA I can't keep that up! Oh, that's a good one!"

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Y'know, Al, I always hated goin' to church when I was a kid. All that movin' around, ' stand up, kneel, sit down, kneel again, stand, ' I'm sittin' there thinkin', ' damn, I wish this guy would just pick a position and fuck me already! ' "

"Pfffft hahahaHAHAHA! Now there's a challenge for the grandmasters!"

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Hell, ya play it like normal once ya got a condom on the bishop! "

"Aha... please, enlighten me." Oh, this is exactly why he has him around.

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Ya like that one, huh? How 'bout this : how d'ya play chess with a Catholic? "

Static-rich guffawing is already filling the air as the radio demon barely prevents himself from keeling over.

[screwslooseboozer]

　" How the fuck should I know? Go ask the altar boys. "

"I don't know, Husker, how big of a bed does a priest sleep in?"

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Alright, I got one. How big of a bed does a priest sleep in? "

[screwslooseboozer]

　CHECK THE PINNED, CHECK THE RULES. HARD BLOCK FOR ANY WEND-GO OR SK-NWALKER ALASTORS.

[screwslooseboozer]

I'll add this to my rules and make a proper post on all my blogs later but if you portray Alastor as a wend-go or use that term on your blog, it's a block on sight. It's not hard to Google why that's incredibly offensive.

[screwslooseboozer]

　　　　　　　　　　　　𝐈 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐋 　　　　　　　　𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍

[screwslooseboozer]

Toxic found family 😂

[screwslooseboozer]

　 Happy Sinday, have some Husker facts!

　The base of his tail is so insanely sensitive it's not even funny. Scratch it, pull it, grind on it, anything and he's putty in your hands.

　Very sensitive to pheromones; tends to get turned on when other people are turned on, even if they're not someone he's interested in.

　No whiskey dick here! In fact, when he's got more than his standard buzz, Husk tends to be a horny drunk.

　Massive praise kink, especially if you go for the " good kitty " angle.

　Absolutely adores teasing people with his size. He's not the tallest demon in Hell, but he's got the bulk and muscle to make up for it, and he loves pinning people down or carrying them around when they least expect it.

　Fucking LOVES giving head and eating ass and always has. He's ready to eat out at any given point.

　Base of his wings are stupid sensitive too. If you go gentle on them, like a massage, it doesn't do much for him, but some more aggressive touches can get him purring in seconds.

　Has a handful of kinks surrounding his sinner form that he's super embarrassed of, the biggest one being his paws. He gets incredibly flustered when people give them extra attention, even though there's not much in the way of sensitivity. He hasn't done this yet, but he sometimes thinks about giving " pawjobs " and then chickens out of trying it.

　He finds it sexy that you find it sexy that he's fat, and he enjoys a bit of playful teasing about it.

　" Any hole is a goal " only applies to flings. When he's actually interested in someone, he wants to get to know them before they sleep together, and he'll often outright reject any advances made before reaching that checkpoint.

[screwslooseboozer]

　HOW MUST HUSK BE TOUCHED?

　FERVENTLY. You crave a hug that cracks your ribs… the feeling of your wandering soul being crushed back into the bones that can't seem to hold it. You need a hand gripping yours so tightly you almost fear it may leave a bruise, a reminder that you are here. And that you are not alone.

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Don't you get her worked up! 'cause then I gotta deal with her! "

"- fine! I'll just go have Niffty pet me! She won't say no!"

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Yeah, but that's the thing : I don't believe you. January to March, it's hands off. "

" - I meant my ears! I'm not even in rut right now!"

That's next month.

[screwslooseboozer]

　" Cope. I don't do this rut season shit. "

"You aren't going to pet me for an entire month? That's so cruel of you, Husker~"

[screwslooseboozer]

　ANONYMOUS GAMBLED! : I'm down two bottles of worm tequila and ate the worm.

　Dangles a feather toy that was pulled out of rectum towards the barkeep.

　I'm gonna getcha to do some cat shit if it's the last thing I do. We're over conversation now, I'm going straight for the chin scratches and not leaving any prisoners.

　And suddenly anon jumps across the bar and forcibly gives chin scratches and belly rubs.

　Who's a good little kitty listener? You are! Yoooou are!

　Oh, you'll get some ' cat shit. ' He yowls when he's jumped, and grabs hold of the stranger's throat to chuck them back over the bar. " How you gonna get y'self cut off before I even serve you a drink?! Get the fuck out, man, you're at the wrong bar for this shit! "

[screwslooseboozer]

　Just for the record, the way a male cat works, they don't go into " heat " / " rut " unless someone else's pheromones set them off. Husk will be fine as long as he keeps his nose covered.