scribbledorable

[scribbledorable]

anthology

[scribbledorable]

Polish has two versions of “to get married” depending on whether you are marrying a man (wyjść za mąż) or a woman (ożenić się)

they are of course “meant” to be used by women and men respectively, and when someone mixes them up - which happens very often in common speech - it’s usually a matter of seconds before some smartass goes “haha, ożenić się, she’s a girl, what is she, a homo, you meant wyjść za mąż!”

same thing happened at the shop today, one local drunkard wanted to wish me all the best and that I marry well - and he said “ożenić się”

the second drunkard obviously started laughing “what, a woman! you meant-”

“and who are you to tell her what she can or cannot do, Heniek? She’ll want to marry a girl she’ll marry a girl!”

I have an urge to give him a beer on the house next time he’s here.

[scribbledorable]

"I knew i shouldn't have started smoking..."

In another universe, hair is a means of knowing how long you have to live. Some peoples hair drags some peoples hair is at their shoulders. To cut the hair is impossible and to pull it out is also impossible. Tell the story of someone waking up and their hair which is double their height just started to fall out.

[scribbledorable]

The archeologists slowly entered, their flashlights shining before them. A man was sitting there, very still. He seemed to be meditating, and did nothing to show that he’d noticed the intruders. But, he did, and spoke, in a croaky voice, one that hasn’t spoken in centuries.

“You... are the first to come here... in a very, very long time.”

The archeologists stopped and gasped softly, but before one could say anything, the man continued. 

“You must be wondering... so many things...” The man didn’t move a muscle all the while. The archeologists were started to wonder if he even could. Had he really been sitting still, all this time? 

“But I... will tell you... to leave. There is... nothing... to gain...” The man wheezed. “I am... too dangerous... to be... among people...”

One of the archeologists stammered. “W-why?”

“I... I killed...” He wheezed again. 

“I killed a god...”

When you kill someone, their remaining life span is added to yours. Archaeologists have just found a cavern, apparently sealed off for thousands of years, with a single person living inside.

[scribbledorable]

Datenight - Chapter Two

Chef cleared his throat. “So, what do you do for fun?” he said, to get some conversation going that he’d hopefully be able to understand.

Coco hummed, putting a hand under her chin. “Well, I really like to build machines, make upgrades, that sort of stuff, y’know? It’s really fun to make.”

Jenny smiled. “Ah, so you’re some kind of mechanic? Ever tried to make an actual robot?” she said, teasing.

Coco chuckled. “Well, no, but that’s only because I didn’t think it was possible to make an actual android! Cyborgs, sure, fighting robots, alright, but a fully-functional, self-aware, sapient being? That’s unheard of in my homeworld.”

Jenny smiled. “Aah, yeah, I guess you have a point. Where I’m from, there are tons of sentient machines, though. But I’m the most advanced of them all!” She pointed smugly at herself.

Coco snorted. “So special, aren’t you.” she said, leaning back with her shake, sipping it loudly.

Jenny seemed to be annoyed by the sound, and wanted to comment on it, but Chef cleared his throat loudly, picking up on the worsening mood. “Alright, uuh, so Jenny, what do you like to do?”

Jenny smiled and leaned back. “Ah, well, saving the world, you know.”

“Oh really? From what?” Chef said, leaning forward, curiously.

“Oh, from lots of things. Aliens, for example,” Jenny said, proudly. “I’ve saved the world tons of times and I’m not going to stop doing that anytime soon, even though I’m nearly halfway through college.”

Chef smiled. “That’s really cool.” Jenny smiled proudly and sipped her oil. Coco just rolled her eyes.

Silence fell. The clatter of cutlery and buzz of conversation could be heard all around them. “...And there,” the female robot behind them said, crying with laughter, “there I was, sitting alone at the campfire, darude - sandstorm in the background, a coconut in one hand and oil all over me…”

Her male companion, a robot nearly as short as her, laughed heartily at the story she was telling. “And then? What happened…”

The three snapped out of the silence when the waiter came with a plate of what looked like a baguette cut in pieces. The bread was laid out in a neat way in the small basket, and two funny-looking dips were set next to that. Without a word, the waiter rolled away.

“What is that?” Chef said, blinking cluelessly. He had never seen anything like it.

“Oh, it’s probably some kind of bread from this world.” Coco said, “well, wherever this is.”

She picked up a slice. The first dip was purple, the second was black. The second dip was definitely oil. Coco dipped the piece of bread in the first dip and sniffed it. It smelled kinda sweet.

Chef watched closely as she put the piece of bread in her mouth, tasting it. Coco nodded, thoughtfully. “Huh, it actually tastes pretty good.”

Jenny hummed. “Lemme try.” She picked up another piece of bread and dipped it in the oil. Immediately it became incredibly hard, almost like metal. She smiled and ate it. “Wow, this world never ceases to amaze me…”

Chef just stared. “How… how does that even…”

Jenny chuckled. “Science, Chef. The art of science and bakery combined.” She took another crunchy bite, the metal slowly dissolving in her mouth.

“Alright…” Chef said, picking up a piece for himself. He nibbled on it. It tasted just like normal French bread, maybe a little bit more bitter. He then dunked it in the purple dip, curiously. This got him looks from both his dates, but he didn’t notice. The purple goo smelled pretty sweet and was actually great with the bread. It was a bit like jelly, but thicker and not from any fruit he’d tasted. He was actually pretty sure it didn’t exist on earth.

Coco reached out for another slice. “Anyway. What do you do, Chef? Tell us about yourself.”

Chef coughed. “U-uuh,” he said, “I, uh, I… I go to college, I study software engineering.”

Coco smiled. “Oh, that’s pretty cool!”

Jenny nodded, looking at Coco. “Yeah, pretty cool.”

Finally, the waiter came with the food. The soup came first. It looked pretty drab, and strange-looking nuts and bolts floated in the surprisingly clear liquid.

Jenny sat up straight. “Oh nice, the food’s here.” She smiled as the plate was set down in front of her. “Ah, smells delicious!”

Both Chef and Coco looked at her blankly, then shrugged as the butler rolled away to get the rest of the plates. He came back shortly after with both their own plates of pancakes. All of them dug into their meals.

Coco looked around. “Is there any syrup around here? I’d love to have some syrup.”

Chef hummed. “Well, is it any of these?” He pointed at the assortment of bottles that were already present on the table. He had no idea what they all were, but one of them must be familiar, right?

Coco picked up a bottle and sniffed. Immediately, her face scrunched up in disgust. “Eugh, this is super bitter. Probably not syrup.” She put it down and picked up the next one.

Chef got curious as well and picked another one up. It’s a see-through bottle with some sort of white powder in it. He shook it a little. “It looks like there’s some sort of sugar in this.”

“Oh?” Chef handed the bottle over to Coco who shook it a little. She opened it and put a little on a spoon to taste it. “You’re right, this is sugar! Not what I was looking for, but it works.” She put it on the pancake.

In the meantime, Jenny was simply watching them, slurping her soup. She looked pretty deep in thought. If she were still a teenager, she knew she would’ve reacted a whole lot differently, as teenagers do. But she’s an adult now. With the help of her friends, she learned a long time ago what it was like to stand strong on her own, to not be swayed by the crowd.

She still loved going on dates and meeting someone new, like normal people, though. Even though she knew she was acting a bit bossy, that bandicoot girl, Coco, gave off a… strange vibe that she couldn’t quite place. She wondered what it could mean.

[scribbledorable]

Datenight - Chapter One

So, @chefpyro wanted some fanfiction of him, Coco and Jenny, so that’s what you’re gonna get! Enjoy some silliness below!

Chef leaned back in his seat. The diner, located in an ambiguous pocket between time and space, was pretty busy. It had a bit of an eighties’ atmosphere. Behind him, two robots were having an oil smoothie. In the booth on the other side, a group of friends were having pizza. They were wearing differently colored power armor, for some reason. They put their helmets on the table. Chef paid them no mind. He played a little with his phone, waiting for his dates. He was gonna have one swell night tonight.

The door opened, and the first girl came in. She wore a nice, blue dress that hugged her figure nicely, just for the occasion. Her long, blonde hair was put up in a bun, two strands of hair falling before her ears on both sides. She had brushed her orange coat, too, as it shone in the soft, yellow lights of the diner.

Chef sat up and waved her over. Her green eyes lit up as she saw him and she walked over gracefully. She smiled. “Hello,” she said, waving slightly at him. “You’re… Chef Pyro, right?”

Chef smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, waving to the empty seat next to him. “Why don’t you sit down.”

She smiled and did so. “This is a nice place, how did you hear of this?” she asked, putting down her purse. She looked a bit around, taking in the atmosphere. “I’ve never heard of this place before you came up with it.”

Chef shrugged. “Oh, you know, I heard some people talk about it…” He played a bit on his phone. “Decided to check it out. Seemed like a nice enough place to start. Anyway, Coco, wasn’t it?” he said, smiling at her.

She chuckled. “Yeah, that’s me!” She put a stray strand of hair back in place, fumbling a little. “I’m pretty nervous, I’ve never done this before…”

“Well, neither have I,” Chef said, running a hand through his curly, dark hair. He chuckled a little nervously, unsure how to continue.

Then, the door opened for a second time. This time, a robot came in. She also wore a blue dress, but instead of fabric, it consisted of special modified plates, that formed quite a lovely ensemble together. She immediately spotted the two and walked towards them, her high heels clanking on the checkered floor.

She smiled at them. “Mind if I sit?” she said, waving at the empty seat.

She eyed coco a little strangely, in a way Chef couldn’t quite place.  “Of course,” he said, smiling. She smiled back and sat down.

“XJ9, wasn’t it?” Coco said, looking right back at her.

“Yeah, but you can call me Jenny if you’d like,” she said, smiling sultry at Chef.

He blushed slightly, and Coco smiled, although it seemed to be bordering on a sneer. “It is so nice of you to come by.” she said, nodding at her. Jenny nodded back.

Chef cleared his throat. “Let’s start ordering our dinner, shall we?”

Both of them smiled and nodded at him. “Yeah, I’m starving,” Coco said.

Jenny flagged a waiter over, who quickly handed out menu’s.

“Would you like to drink something?” the waiter said. He was a robot, he moved around by moving the one wheel under his undercarriage. How he kept his balance, Chef will never know. He did his best to smile at least a bit normally, but he wasn’t quite sure if he did just that. “Yes, uhm, some ice tea please.”

Both his dates looked at him, then back at the waiter. “Yeah, I’d like some refined oil,” Jenny said, smiling at the waiter, who wrote it down.

Coco snorted. “I’ll just do a Wumpa Whip…  I’m surprised they have those here.”

“I’m surprised they have anything I know at all here,” Chef said with a bit of a nervous laugh and picked up the menu, as the waiter walked away.

There was all sorts of food, from pizza, to pancakes, sandwiches, to stuff he’s never even heard of, to robotic modifications and equipment. Both of the girls seemed to know what they were looking at, so Chef also kept up that appearance. Or at least, tried to. Thankfully, the two didn’t seem to notice.

“Sooo…” Chef started. He had made up his mind and play it safe, get pancakes. There are so many different pancakes, though, but he wasn’t going to risk it. “Does everyone know what they want?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have some nice cherry pancakes.” Coco said, smiling. “I love those.”

Chef smiled. “Ah, me too! Pancakes, that is,” he said, chuckling. “I really love pancakes.”

Jenny snorted and skimmed the menu. “Ooh, they have bolt soup, I’ll try that.”

Coco blinked, and before she could hold herself, she blurted out, “I thought robots couldn’t eat anything…”

Jenny laughed. “Well, we can’t eat human food, no. But my mother gave me this upgrade, so I can eat and anything metal and process it so, that I can store the metal for later use when I need it.”

Coco blinked. “You can do that…? When would you need it?”

“Well, when my outer plates are damaged, of course! The processed metal can be liquidized and refill the gaps. It isn’t pretty, but it works for now.”

Coco’s eyes widen. “You can do that? Wouldn’t you need to superheat the metal? Would your body even be able to handle all that energy and heat?”

Chef merely blinked as the two went back and forth. At that moment, the waiter came by with a tray of their drinks. Coco’s drink was pretty colorful and really stood out against the other two. Chef’s drink was a normal ice tea and Jenny’s was a drab, black can. The waiter put down three glasses and poured in a bottom for each of the three, then smiled. “Has everyone been able to make a choice?”

The three nodded and told him their orders. The waiter gathered the menu’s and rolled away.

[scribbledorable]

meeting an alien

Humans: hello, we come in peace. we are from a planet we call Earth.

Alien: oh yes! the bagel planet!

Humans: … what?

Alien: you are the only planet in the known galaxy that has invented bagels. we would like to make trade agreements right away.

Humans: i… okay then.

[scribbledorable]

I keep scrolling down tumblr. The cloud in my head thickens as I patiently wait for the pictures to load. I have work to do, really, but I stay here. Finally, the pictures load. I feel the weight of my responsibilities on my shoulders, my stomach, my heart, but I simply keep scrolling, as if those worries aren’t even there. I see something cute. I reblog.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. I see a funny text post and breathe slightly harder through my nose. I keep scrolling. My head feels fuzzy, I am yelling at myself to get to work but the voice is silenced by the endless void of self-doubt and helplessness. I read a long post explaining some political news intently. I like the post.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. The pit in my stomach eats me from the inside. Its teeth bite into my stomach, my will, my heart. I feel cold. When I blink, I am transported into the snow. The cold of this new environment made me shiver. I got up from the snow and looked around. I look up to see a large, wolf-like creature bare its sharp, white teeth. I chuckle at a cute kitty. I like the post.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. The wolf slowly walks towards me, its paws making deep marks in the snow. Its eyes are slitted. Its skin is bare and purple in the cold and It has damaged, bat-like wings. I take a step back. There is nowhere to hide, so I ran. I ran as fast as I could from the creature. Instead of howling, it screeched to the pale moonlight. I stumbled through the forest I was suddenly in. I read one of sixpenceee’s creepypasta posts. I like the post.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. My eyes defocus. I tripped and fell flat on my face. I hear the beating of wings far above me, while I hear a strange rendition of “Nuclear - Unused Game Version”. Its verses were scrambled. Some parts played twice in a row. I hear whispers everywhere. The wolf draws near as I tried to find a clear path. I snort loudly as I listen to a shitposter’s rendition of a song, finding something clever yet infuriating and making it better. I reblog.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. From the corner of my eye I see a small light. I am not alone. I run towards it as I hear the beating of the monster’s wings grow fainter. I see a counter. It is slowly counting down. The worry in the pit of my stomach hardens and the creature screeches again. I watch the counter slowly count down from an impossibly large number. The monster is behind me, breathing in my neck. I scream and fall flat on my back. Another, even bigger creature lunges at the monster and they start fighting. I only see flashes of the monster. I smile as I see the notes of people reblogging me grow. 

I keep scrolling down tumblr. I flee from the site before the two monsters stop fighting and go after me. The adrenaline cleared the fuzz out of my head and I look up to a mountain. It is the only way out. The song is still going on in the background, with snippets of “Here Comes a Thought” reaching my ears. I smile as I see gifs from a movie I liked. I pay no more attention to it.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. I look up to the large mountain and feel intimidated, but as I hear the howls and yelps of the creatures behind me, I know I need to keep going. I search until I find stairs. I finally feel confident enough to climb them. I take the first step. It feels good. I keep going. I recognize these posts from yesterday. I have come to the end of new content. I click the homebutton to go back to the top.

I keep scrolling down tumblr. The creatures behind me grow weaker as I am finally more focused on my goal. The song still plays, but I learn to ignore it, like all the other whispers. I climb high enough to oversee the forest. It only takes four or five posts to get back to where I started. I sigh and close the page, picking up the work I need to do.

[scribbledorable]

Prologue

There are many stories in this world. There are heroic tales of men long past, of princesses that needed saving from doom by their knights in shining armor. There are sad tales of heroes that don’t succeed, and comedic tales of witty men that manage to trick their foes. Few of these stories are told, however, and even fewer are read. There is already a story, you see, that keeps all of them under a blanket of fear.

It is the story of the White Demon, Sganrach, who roamed the lands ages ago, wreaking havoc to all. She plundered villages for gold and silver and killed all who were in her way. She was terrifying to look at, although her appearance varies from town to town. In some, she was like a dragon, setting fire to all. In others, she was like an enormous bat with multiple arms and wings, blowing all the homes away in deathly torrents. But all agree on one thing: she was white as snow, and sneered, laughing at all the puny humans as they try to flee from her wrath.

Only one, however, managed to drive her away. No-one knows where he came from, but there he was. Most described him as a gigantic wolf, Dorcha, dark and scowling at all that came in his path. He was from the forest of the Dark Mountains, where the other beasts lay. He was not kind, but he was righteous, and as he ran past the burnt and torn villages he felt that this was not right.

As he howled, the white demon raised her terrible head, her snout still in that sneer. In one fluid motion, he leapt at her, and bit her in her neck. She yelled in pain, but managed to knock him away. And so, a battle of titans began. The outcome was lost in time, but all agree on one thing: if it weren’t for the wolf, no-one would be alive to tell the tale.

No-one has seen Dorcha or Sganrach since. Some say that, to this day, they are still fighting. The story of the two were passed on from generation to generation. Years passed, and even though all who survived wanted nothing more than the story to be forgotten, there are still terrible reminders that this battle has indeed happened. Ruined cities littered the countryside, burnt and dead forests where the demon had set foot.

Even now, the two demons are said to wreck havoc in the northern parts of the world. Others say they took their fighting to the Demon world, again others to the Dark Mountains where Dorcha has called for help. So many stories are told, yet, so little we know about the truth. And thus, we keep waiting, hoping for a day when this all will be over.

~

The girl put the last of the books back on the shelf as the door to the bookstore opened. She looked up. A tall man was standing there. She didn’t recognize him. That was strange, as she recognized everyone from the village.

“H-hello, stranger,” she said, a bit timidly, but mostly confused, “how can I help?”

He was wearing a cloak, with his face hidden in the shadow of the hood. I squinted slightly, trying to discern anything about his face, but I couldn’t make out anything. She put a stray strand of hair back behind my ear. Most of her brown hair was tied in a bun, but some would constantly get loose.

He didn’t move. “Don’t worry about me, just looking around,” he said in a dark, grumbling voice. He turned around and walked to the nearest shelf, his cloak billowing out behind him. She blinked and returned to what she was doing before, trying not to be too distracted by him.

From then on, he was completely silent. She was slightly unnerved by his presence, but tried not to let it show. She simply kept putting the books back in order and double checked if every book was there. There were some missing, but at least she knew where they should be. Eventually, she approached the shelf where the stranger was standing. She recognized the shelf, it was where all the storybooks were standing. Books with myths and legends of old. Including…

“What’s your name?” the stranger said, startling her out of her reverie.

“Oh! U-uh,” she said, looking at him curiously. “I’m Eleonora. May I… may I ask your name?”

The stranger pulled his hood back a bit, so his face was out of the shadow. Dark curls escaped and fell on his forehead. She blinked as he looked at her stoically. “You can call me Fenrir.”

“Fenrir…” she said,  thoughtfully, and nodded. “Well, nice to meet you.”

He nodded, his dark eyes strangely kind, and looked away, his expression still stoic and unmoved. She blinked again and quickly looked away, to the bookshelves. She decided to put away the books at a later time and re-organize the shelf on the other side of the library… She swallowed. Who was he, and what was he doing here? She tucked another strand behind her ear as she looked up at the shelves. Most were books about plants and survival, some were text books, but most were storybooks. It was so sad that no-one would read them, she idly thought.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She whirled around and looked up at the stranger standing right behind her. Again, while his face was stoic, his eyes were full of emotion. Her eyes widened. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“It’s fine,” he said gruffly. “I want to buy this.” He held up a book.

She immediately recognized it. It was one of the books that contained the legend of Dorcha and Sganrach. It was the oldest book she had, it has never been bought by anyone.

“Y-yes, of course, right away, sir,” she said and moved to grab the book, but he didn’t budge, so she let go. She awkwardly took a step backwards, feeling her back hit the shelf. She stuttered, her face reddening, and quickly made her way to the counter.

The whole time, Fenrir simply stood there, unmoving, and watched. She found it slightly unnerving, but as she made her way to the counter, she watched as he swiftly and gracefully made his way towards her.

Awkwardly, she smiled. “Heh, I see you have an interest in old legends?” she said, trying to break the silence.

Fenrir looked at her neutrally. “You could say that.”

Silence. “Do you have an interest in old legends?” he said, with just a hint of interest in his voice. She almost missed it.

“Y-yes!” she said, hastily. “I do, actually. I love reading stories, real or not real.”

“Do you think these myths are real?” he asked, looking at her intently.

She wanted to say no, but something in his gaze made her stop for a moment and think. “The myth of Dorcha and Sganrach, you mean…?” she said, carefully. “Well… I do believe there is a seed of truth, but there are so many versions of the story…” Something in her clicked. “That’s why you’re buying this book, isn’t it? To figure out what is real and what isn’t.”

The stranger tilted his head. “You could say that.”

[scribbledorable]

I peeked around the corner of the door. Everything was made out of metal, and everything smelled like hospital. It unnerved me to no end. As I didn’t see anyone... or, anything... around, I prepared to run. 

“Watch out for the snarglebergs.”

I jumped. Jack Black was standing behind me, happily munching on a chip. “They’re pretty nasty. They keep stealing my chips.”

“What the...” I couldn’t believe my eyes. But just at that moment, some kind of beast jumped up. It didn’t jump towards me, though. I jumped backward, startled. It just kept barking, yipping, or whatever you could call the sounds it was making.

Carefully, I stood up and stepped forward. Why didn’t it come closer? As I got to the door, I took another step- and immediately got buzzed by some sort of forcefield. I fell on my ass, my hair smoking. panting like crazy.

“Oh, and the forcefield is also there. Just a heads-up.” Cruch, cruch.

You have been abducted by aliens. For some reason, Jack Black is on board, not as a prisoner though. He’s just… there. Wandering around the ship, eating a packet of chips and making sassy comments about your various escape attempts.