scumwyrm

[scumwyrm]

P A S T E L

[scumwyrm]

REVISITED

(TBC)

[scumwyrm]

I was mortal - 19.4.17 - Archive

The way i always pictured growing up, the experiences i'd seek, the friends i'd keep, the places i'd be.

I had plans , my life was to have purpose and direction and nothing could stop me. I would do all from my perspective.

And the more i planned and the more i spealed about places i'd be and the knowledge i'd yeild. the more i was told that i wasn't able.

Not in a discouraging way and not always by people but there was always a reminder that i was too feeble.

not of body and not of mind and not in any way or any kind, of physical or earthly manefestaion but in a way that was evedent from my creation.

the way that limited me to 50, 60 or 80 years of pensivity, the excuse that everyone makes for there anomosity.

I was mortal.

[scumwyrm]

Abstract Archives

[scumwyrm]

The Fern

Occasionally I ponder, if the fern knows of its on hardships and growth

Seeing few rays of light. Feeling little rainfall to quench it's thirst. Whilst no one notices or cares for its fight.

Lower than most & closer to the earth. The dirt & moss & twigs of birth act as perch. Not a single peep nor sound nor sigh made of hurt.

Yet I assert...

This Fern Feels Pain, but still, Thoughtless, Storms the fray. Hungry for the suns warmth. Alas torn, Between Goliath trees & Biting breeze he thrives. Easily, as if it were no feat, without a single cry. Finding what little moisture is suspended in the air, firmly rooted in the dirt, moss and clay. In spite of this fight, Determined and wilful does reach, Skyward as if to take flight, Silently, almost undisturbed, emanating peace.

Of this victorious one, I live vicariously. Inspired by This Fern.

With delight, Braving the cold. Lacking light, amongst the shedding's of bark. Spitefully, Contesting natures Prejudice. Bold, Fearless of harm, relishing endlessly, promising only to learn.

Without tools or limbs, armed only with will, it climbs. With gusto and joy, fulfilled in life. Simply existing, content and tolerant, patient and ignorant of time.

So yes I assert!

This Fern knows struggle intimately and still, with amounts necessary, employing spite, allowing for denial of attempts to starve, happy with the infrequency of warmth in life. Limited by nothing under the thick shady coverage of the towering trees and their dense canopy.

Still now these goliaths are powerless to prevent this Fern so proud, Hoarding what little water within ferment, trying for sky and clouds. Adorned with weak appearance, Deliberately using frailty, limiting resources consumed if ever the need for recovery.

This Fern, surely the target of rumours and murmurs aplenty, No Reputation nor depiction that exists can result in dismay, From this Fern.

I see only of said Fern. The Strength exuded, modest and passive. choosing forgiveness and tenderness in response of, injustice however unfair. left delicate and exhausted. still enduring, disdainfully, tenacious, imperviously. Despite the ferns ignorance however true it is The world is brightened by the insistent of growth of this vegetation. Thankful. Inspired by this humble Fern, I must continue growth and development, for however subtle the return, I must Press forward, thankful for example set. by this Fern.

[scumwyrm]

DISTANCE

Distant and estranged with sight of vague remnants of a man. Now from silence lazily formed enquires and whispers begins comparing concepts of disassociation and growth.

These shakey voices probe this stranger in an unsure flurry of words that if ever reaching what surely are ears, carry such little weight as to never rest with even a tickle of indication or importance.

No response will come from this...

Even amongst their apprehension, hazed, the timid scatters of intrusive utterances press on, slowly yet with an evolving solidarity and resolve.

Soon however they speak with what could almost be mistaken for confidence, although less emotive, now much more intuitive in purpose.

This faux physical entity of noise suddenly projects a stern, near demanding question.

"IS one hydrated?"

Hurdling with a warm intensity towards the ambiguous impressions of a man. Making contact with enough force that the shaky outlines suddenly retreat into a more sound definition, whilst omitting some of its misty shroud.

He is now possibly tangible it seemed.

Startled, the mystery man recoils briefly. only to compose itself again, as if accepting the notion that escape or retreat, if successful, would only lead to more boredom within the wasteland where the two reside.

With labored efforts he cupped his hands around his mouth in preparation. Finally responds.

"Hydrated I wish to be, yet water, lake and pond are lost to me. Propose some solution? Maybe gift a map? Alas why should you as fret upon that?"

Pausing for a large gasp of air as these words seemed his first. Gaining composure begins to continue his speech, this MUST be heard.

"hours stacked on years misplaced and forgotten, solitary I was left here without even a seat to drop in. Exactly then why now enquire my state? For not even I care of my fate. My crimes of gluttony and lust, indulgent and ignorant, were my fair for the ferry that brought I here. Now I reside in an fiend's prison if MY design.

Why does one NOW clarify this pain with tantalizing ideas of compassion? Enquiring of my thirst, you highlight my shames"

Collapsing from fatigue, he, tearfully brought end to his plead.

Silence filled the void once again.

Without words, self imposing, accepted his continued punishment...

Finally after what seemed both only an instant and eternal, the voice now coming as one and from within himself, softly returned sympathetically.

"Why are you so hurtful to we, I simply asked innocently. You are guilty, yes, but redeemable none the less. Your crime is equal to served time, but how have we continued to Churn in this boundless cell, stewing with self hatred without comparison to this living hell. You appear tired from the lack of water, or any liquids, so ask I did.

Respond you did as if I offended, you said, negatively intended

'where be this elixer so dire'

Well brother, find little water you will, where you have lit fire.

You burn with hatred and loathing for you, me, we and have done for eternity. Let this flame dwindled now and soon you'll see, river and pond and ocean will return before you even ask how.

Learn from our failed trials and attempts, reserve the right to look back once you lose this fearful arrogance"

Stunned by this caring observer, he finally could see them and it was like staring into a mirror.

Wide eyes swelled with tears as he reached to touch what he saw to be merely reflected, but before contact this vocal body exploded with smoke and seem to disappear despite pressing on to say

"we were once two, for I could not abide your gloom, however apart from you, I still found no fun. I have realized now that we must come together, tending each other and learning to better"

With this he was now one, with a single thought in mind.

"I'm glad I chose not to run, I had some likeness of fun"

The end.

[scumwyrm]

Sun Room