sdmackdaddy

[sdmackdaddy]

Canada.... lots to like... Universal Health Care... an endless supply of Poutine and Maple Syrup... Tim Horton's... all the Ice Hockey you can eat... and now a lifeline for American Women's Health... Good Job, Canada.

American women will be able to obtain abortions in Canada if the United States Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade and returns abortion law to the state level, says Karina Gould, minister of families, children and social development.

In an interview with CBC News Network’s Power & Politics on Tuesday, Gould was asked if American women would be allowed to access the procedure in Canada.

“I don’t see why we would not,” she told host Vassy Kapelos. “If they, people, come here and need access, certainly, you know, that’s a service that would be provided.”

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

[sdmackdaddy]

In a bottoms chat room I'm in, someone asked how you deal with drop. This can be a physical drop of chemicals in the body or an emotional letdown after a scene or intense play. Ways to cope include chocolate or favorite foods, sleep, cuddles, warm bath, comforting stuffy, and comforting words from a partner.

Sometimes the best way to deal with drop is to prevent it. Hydration and good food are great tools before any play. Make sure your brain is in the right place before you start and throughout. If at any point you are not doing well and just hanging in there for your D/top, then safeword. Stop immediately and go to comfort mode. Then after play, aftercare is essential. My aftercare is a quick nap, then something sugary to eat and back rubs from Daddy, along with water for rehydration. Aftercare is so essential that I never leave Daddy's until my head and body are in the right place. I very rarely suffer from drop anymore. Finding your own way to prep and cool down from play can be a game changer to help prevent drop. Have fun out there. 💖

[sdmackdaddy]

Morning light. 💖

[sdmackdaddy]

Pre-shower portraits.

[sdmackdaddy]

Dynamic maintenance

Me: Daddy, it drives me crazy when you ask me what we should have for supper.

Daddy: I just want my baby to be happy. I don't want to feed you something you don't like.

Me: Daddy, I eat almost everything. You're a good cook.

Daddy: OK, it makes you happy for Daddy to decide. I understand.

Me:

[sdmackdaddy]

It's not all kinky fun.

2/11/21 - it's been a really tough week for both of us. I won't go into details, only say I can't remeber the last time I was so stressed at work, and Daddy had some things in his personal life that were kinda big and scary. Even so, Thursdays are Daddy day. That's the day I get to go see Daddy every week. It was just before valentine so we decided to have our own little celebration. It was low key. We ordered takeout from the restaurant where we had our first date (almost two years ago). We exchanged presents, and one of the things I got Daddy was a book he could read to me. So we had story time about unicorns. It was perfectly silly and delightful. He used all the right voices and we looked at all the fun stuff in the pictures. By the time the book was done, though, I was feeling very sleepy. As a result of my very stressful week, my whole body was exhausted. With a full belly and having sat and relaxed with Daddy, I was crashing quick. He insisted we go to the bedroom to take a nap even though it was 730 at night. So that's what we did. He rubbed my back and I dozed off. Before I knew it an hour and a half had passed and the alarm we'd set was going off. I don't get to spend the night with Daddy often, so I had to wake up and go home. But not before I got a back rub and some hot chocolate. Because Daddy is the best! He takes care of me so well. I was sad we didn't get any play time, but he was quick to remind me that it's not all about kinky fun. It's also his job to take care of me. Of course he's absolutely right and there is no way to ever fully express the gratitude I have to have someone like that in my life. 💖

[sdmackdaddy]

Little girl things found at Daddy's house.

[sdmackdaddy]

Fantasy VS Reality

Fantasy: Shove your cock down my throat and choke me on it. Face fuck and make me gasp for air.

Reality: I gag really easy. I have so much trauma from gagging at the dentist as a child that it causes fear when I give head. But I LOVE giving blow jobs. I will push my limits and gag myself on Daddy's cock, but it took two years working together to earn a level of trust that allows me to do that, and to find where my limit it is so he knows exactly how hard he can or can't push me while I worship his cock.

[sdmackdaddy]

This was my first day collar from Daddy. It's Morse code and reads "Daddy's Angel" because that's what he calls me. It was made from silk thread and stainless steel beads. It was permanently fastened to my wrist and I wore it until the threads broke almost a year and a half later. All the beads are still attached and I keep it in my drawer.

[sdmackdaddy]

I desire to be

the goodest

of good girls. 💖

[sdmackdaddy]

Every morning I kneel

After I wake, and rub the sleep from my eyes, and relieve the pressure in my bladder, I remove my clothes and kneel on my bathroom floor. Naked, and vulnerable, and raw. Messy hair, and fuzzy brain. I sit on my knees, and bow my head and say my prayer to Daddy. It's an affirmation that we created in the first few months of our relationship. It reminds me who I am, who I belong to, and the important parts love and service play in my life. It's the first thing I do every morning. And then I send my good morning text to Daddy along with a photo of me in my messy hair, fuzzy brain state. I start my day with him. For him.

[sdmackdaddy]

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

[sdmackdaddy]

Every morning I kneel

After I wake, and rub the sleep from my eyes, and relieve the pressure in my bladder, I remove my clothes and kneel on my bathroom floor. Naked, and vulnerable, and raw. Messy hair, and fuzzy brain. I sit on my knees, and bow my head and say my prayer to Daddy. It's an affirmation that we created in the first few months of our relationship. It reminds me who I am, who I belong to, and the important parts love and service play in my life. It's the first thing I do every morning. And then I send my good morning text to Daddy along with a photo of me in my messy hair, fuzzy brain state. I start my day with him. For him.

[sdmackdaddy]

Pro-Life?... or Anti-Abortion?

As I continue to support ALL Women everywhere on maintaining their individual and private right to choose what they do with their own bodies... I am confused about this concept of being 'Pro Life'...

...versus simply being 'Anti Abortion'...

Those seem like two different ideas to me... and the rhetoric, behavior and debate on the 'Against' side seems to me more 'Anti Abortion' than 'Pro Life'...

To be truly 'Pro Life' would mean supporting and advocating for Life in ALL instances...

That would mean also being:

Anti Death Penalty

Anti War

Anti Climate Change

Anti Racism/Sexism

Pro Universal Health Care

Pro Vaccine

Pro Living Wage

Pro LGBTQ+

Pro Education

Pro Childcare

Pro Affordable Housing

Pro Facts/Science

Etc, etc., etc...

Yet these are all positions the 'Pro Life' supporters also all commonly reject... Even espousing being 'for' these things often as 'unAmerican'... or 'Socialist'... or... whatever...

That does not reconcile in any logical way with being 'Pro Life'... The Critical Thinking around it just doesn't hold up.

So, it seems to me it's simply more accurate to describe these people being 'Anti Abortion'... but not really 'Pro Life'...

And if that's the case... then all this hateful, vitriolic hyperbole they constantly vomit towards those who are 'Pro Choice' as being 'Murder' and 'Criminal' and 'Morally Reprehensible' are all total and utter bullshit...

ANTI ABORTION IS NOT THE SAME AS PRO LIFE

Being 'Pro Choice' doesn't make you any more a 'Murderer' than being 'Pro War' or 'Pro Death Penalty or 'Pro Police'...

A woman who has an Abortion is a "Murderer' but a Soldier who blows the head of an ISIS Terrorist isn't a 'Murderer'?

A Dr. who performs an Abortion is a 'Murderer' but an Executioner carrying out a Death Penalty order isn't a 'Murderer'?

That's just all bullshit.

Either 'Life is Life'...

...or its not..

It's dishonest to pretend otherwise.

If you are self righteously proud you are Pro Life you likely aren't... that's just a self lie you try and impose on everyone else.

You keep saying how 'All Lives Matter'... but your actions say they don't...

Call yourselves what you really are... Anti Abortion

Cause you definitely are not Pro Life

That's ridiculous nonsense.

I will continue to support a Woman's right to choose.

[sdmackdaddy]

I am a Rock and Roll Freak for sure. I am certainly on the Highway to Hell!

Let's play a game! how many can you check off? Is Hellfire right for you?

[sdmackdaddy]

How to make your submissive feel owned;

1. Challenge them.

Don’t be lazy when giving tasks. Give them a task that allows them to impress you. If you tell them to wear a certain color of panties/underpants, you are giving them a very closed task. It’s either failed or succeeded. Be creative and they will be.

2. Think about them.

As a Submissive they will idealy think of you a lot. Return the favour. Message them when you miss them. Remember important things for them. You may care, but you have to make them feel like you care.

3. Listen to them.

Be open to their suggestions, their issues, the things they wish to talk about. Often when someone tells you of a problem, they know you can’t provide a solution… They merely want a listening ear, so provide it.

4. Have fun with them outside of kink.

Watch a movie with them, joke with them, flirt. Dare to be silly and be open to just stepping outside the little comfortzone that is kink. They aren’t just your plaything, and they deserve to be more.

5. Be honest.

If something disatisfies you about them, tell them. Don’t be rude, don’t be mean, but let them know. Nothing’s worse than feeling something is wrong and not knowing what. At least give them the chance to improve on it, if you cannot ignore it.

6. Communicate.

Communication is so vital. I know it pretty much what I said in the past few points, but it deserves one on its own. Don’t just mindlessly churn out tasks, don’t just play. Be a friend to them.

7. Don’t turn your back on them.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in any relationships. Things may go shitty in their life, or they may go shitty in your life. If they ask for your help, at the very least, make sure you are there to listen how you can help and if you can help.

8. Give rules and guidelines.

When you aren’t around leave specific instruction on what to do and when; Then in spite of your absence they will still feel like they are pleasing you.

9. Be trustworthy.

Nothing makes you feel less of a person than being lied to. You are their owner, you are responsible for them. If you don’t make yourself worthy of that right, it’s not ending well.

10. Work on it!

Seriously. Don’t be lazy. Don’t slack off. How would you treat them if they did? You have expectations, but you also have duties and if you don’t fulfill those duties you will sooner or later lose them to someone who will.

[sdmackdaddy]

Just to clarify

In BDSM there are three separate forms of power exchange. In no particular order:

Sadism & Masochism

Topping & Bottoming

Domination & Submission

Sadism & Masochism is the exchange of power through pain. Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning, CBT, nipple torture, even rough sex. Like feeling a little pain with your pleasure? You’re a masochist. Does making someone hurt bring you pleasure? You’re a sadist. Can you be both? Absolutely. I think most of us are, in subtle ways. (My Domme pointed out it was rather sadistic of me to tease my dog with a treat to make him do cute tricks.)

Topping & Bottoming is the exchange of power through sex. One of you is in control of the situation, whether it’s just for this roll in the hay, or every single time with your partner. That person is topping. The passive, or controlled one is bottoming. So if it’s being held down or tied up during sex, or begging for an orgasm, or edging someone until they cry… that is sexual power exchange. Can you be a top and a bottom? Oh, yes, you can. You can even do it in the same romp, if that’s what works for you and your partner.

Domination & Submission is the exchange of power through emotions and intimacy. D/s (the shorthand for this) is about rules, structure, discipline, and protocol. And that can be as intense as a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, or as simple as calling your husband ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’ because he said so. In between is a WORLD of amazing ways to exchange power mentally.

Rules are set in place with a purpose -not just because they’re sexy. Rules are things like: Check in via text when you leave work (so I know you’re on the road and shouldn’t text). Send a photo of your outfit every morning (so I can see how beautiful you look today, and compliment you). Work out four times a week (because I want to help you stay healthy).

Protocols are similar, they are standards of behavior, such as the way you talk to and address your partner, hand them a drink, carry yourself when others are around, or present yourself to them in varying situations. Protocols are brilliant for reinforcing the D/s dynamic. Broadly speaking, you’re not often reminded of protocols unless you misstep. So something as simple as remembering to stand to your girlfriend’s left and wait quietly if she’s talking to someone at a party can reinforce your submission to her.

Discipline is about reinforcing the dynamic and enforcing rules and protocols. Mistakes are made, rules forgotten. We’re all human. That is when discipline comes in. The transgression is addressed, punishment handed out, and then the slate is wiped clean. Add in some affection after the fact and you’ve just reinforced everything you are working towards together. The intimacy required for this is pretty damn intense, and it’s important to know each other well before diving in.

Structure is key in a D/s dynamic, because without consistency, it can all fall apart. Rules that aren’t enforced are unlikely to be followed. A Dom who allows his sub to get away with everything isn’t likely to keep the respect he has earned. And respect and reverence are part and parcel of the whole kneeling thing. Likewise, a submissive who is constantly fighting the rules she agreed to isn’t respecting the dynamic, and isn’t doing her part to make it work. D/s is a lot of work for both partners, and isn’t something to be jumped into too quickly or taken lightly.

—–

Now, to review, you can mix and match the forms of power exchange however suits you and your partner(s). And it is often different from one partner to the next. Some people fit the classic roles of Dom/Top/Sadist and Sub/Bottom/Masochist. Some people switch between sadism and masochism, while always remaining a Dom and top. Some people switch between topping and bottoming. Do you see the point I’m getting at here?

You can be any combination of those six roles in any given relationship, and that includes NOT being one of them, even when, traditionally, the others may apply.

Wanting to be in control in the bedroom does NOT automatically make you a Dom. (Say it again for the fuckboys in the back.)

Enjoying rough sex and spanking does NOT automatically make you a sub.

And you can very well be a Dom who doesn’t physically punish his sub or enjoy rough sex. And you can easily be a submissive who does not get spanked.

The definition of these terms is much broader than my summary, and will differ from person to person. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by feeling you need to adhere to a stereotypical definition of any of these terms or roles.

And if you feel I missed something, and it’s possible I did, as this is based entirely on my reading and experiences in my local community, let’s talk about it.